Tom Segura: We all know who (Will Smith) wishes he could slap, Gaffigan wishes hot chicken were hotter

More reactions to Will Smith from Larry the Cable Guy, Jason Alexander, David Spade, Tom Segura, Andy Kindler, Tiffany Haddish and Mary Mack.

Jim Gaffigan is in Nashville tonight and wants the hot chicken hotter.

Natasha Leggero really had to pee.

How Moon Knight is based on Karl Pilkington

And a look at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Jennie Mack with your daily comedy news or I’d have been dropping a lot of content. This is the normal episode for the morning of Wednesday, March 30th. There was a bonus episode yesterday, all about will Smith and Chris rock as well as the normal episode that goes out at 3 0 5 Eastern. If there is more Oscar news, I will drop in another bonus episode later today, let’s get rolling.

Larry. The cable guy says, this is why my jokes are about my family. Their needs are so bad. They can’t get upstage to do anything. Andrew Slater. I kind of hope Chris rock goes to the Chappelle route and his next three specials are all about the alopecia community. Steve Byrne, imagine working on the film gig.

And finally, after 25 years, your film was finally mentioned at the Oscars. Jason Alexander, more serious at what’s sad for me is that Ukraine, climate disaster voting rights, women’s rights, poverty discrimination. All we’ll take a backseat and our national conscience and dialogue to a man who felt assault was the proper response to insensitive words.

Mary Mack said maybe there was a mosquito on his face will Sloan tweets nor McDonald and Bob Saget warrants in the Oscar death montage, perhaps it, because they weren’t primarily known as movie people or perhaps it’s because despite this, they made the greatest movie of all time dirty work from 1998 and Hollywood never forgave them for it.

David spade says. Yeah, because comedian, I don’t have a medical chart for everyone in the audience. Andy Kindler, who’s got a stick up. His hat said people who think Ricky Jarvis is a comedy superhero who can save any award show already in line for his next randomly titled slapped together.

Lowest common denominator, downward punching special Thompson Gora said. F will Smith’s candy ass smacking, a dude, four inches shorter and 50 pounds lighter. He’s just in his feelings. Cause his bald headed B been effing around on him for years and he’d sakes it. We all know who he wishes he could slap hashtag Kuk will.

Wow. Maryland state Senator William C. Smith Jr. AKA will Smith went to bed early Sunday nights as the Washington post. He woke up Monday morning. His phone wouldn’t stop dinging. I wonder why people had mistaken him for the Oscar winning actor. The one who shares his name, the one who slapped comedian.

Chris rock on Sunday night in front of the whole world. Over a joke about his wife’s hair. Good writing Washington post. State Senator will. Smith said, I got a few messages saying you messed up. Actually it was a little more colorful than that. Tiffany Haddish from variety said when I saw a black man Santa for his wife, that meant so much.

As a woman who’s been unprotected for someone to say, like, keep my wife’s name out of your mouth, leave my wife alone. That’s what your husband’s supposed to do. Right. Protect you. That meant the world to me. And maybe the world might not like I went down, but for me it was the most beautiful thing I ever seen because it made me believe there’s still men out there that love and care about their women, their wives.

she then discussed Chris rock and said, and that’s their friend as a friend. Why would you do that? He didn’t even run the joke by her, she probably would have said nothing, but you could see, he was clearly dot, dot dot, and they exploited it. They exploited her.

So he protected his wife to me. I went up to her and said,

uh, I’m cleaning this up here. You better perform a certain act on will girl.

Tiffany ed. And you better put that in your magazine. That’s what I told her.

Well, Chris rock tickets got a lot more popular variety points out, Chris. Well, we’ll turn to the stage for his ongoing comedy tour. This. You can insert the meme of Michael Jackson eating popcorn. Cause I can’t wait to hear what Chris rock says on stage

one, that secondary ticketing marketplace reports they’ve sold more tickets to Chris Rock’s tour overnight than they did in the past month. Combined ticket prices have surged going from $46 a ticket to $341.

The Melbourne comedy festival has kicked off. I’ll talk about that in the second half, , but from the Sydney morning Herald at first when Scottish comedian Fern Brady’s saw Chris rock slapped on the Oscars. She admits feeling a little sympathy for will Smith because maybe his wife’s been crying about being bald, but the feeling didn’t last long.

From Brady said they’re really rich. She could afford to buy a wig made of gold, a sign about this with other comedians this morning, what a lot of comedians are saying is they were, the attack has basically legitimize being able to get up and punch us.

She said my worst gig ever was great. I got chased out of the venue. And then out of the village by angry villagers, there’s a cliche at the moment, at least in the UK that you can’t say anything in comedy for me, comedy is the freest.

I am in any area of my life to say whatever I want, but definitely in the UK audiences will take great offense at it. It seems like Britain and America are very bad for the feeling that somebody could get up and attack comedians, English, media, and Phil won jokes. The first thing he did after seeing the ANSYS.

I canceled Wilson. Smith’s comps to my show. I don’t care what he posts on Instagram about me,

Australian standup, Louis Garnham said Chris rock and say, whatever the F he wants. If you go to a comedy show, he should understand the fact that you might get annoyed at some of the things comedian says, and that happens in life if I was at this function.

And someone said something that frustrated me, I wouldn’t slap them. From page six, comedy club owners, fear for their comics after the will. Smith’s slap. I’m not a comedian. I’m not a performer. I’m not on stage. I don’t own a comedy club. I think this whole thing is overblown.

I don’t think we’re going to suddenly see people storming stages and slapping comedians, but Hey, it makes for a good article comedy seller owner Noam’s Warman tells page six, Chrysalis had for joke. That’s never okay.

There’s no limiting principle to it and it must not be normalized. We support Chris completely. I think even will Smith would agree and probably regrets one. Let’s hope it doesn’t become a thing. It’s not going to become a thing. It’s not going to become a thing. Gentlemen used to challenge each other to duels.

So humans are clearly vulnerable to these sort of things. Stop Donny. Zol Dan owned, standup New York. I’ve been in touch with a handful of comics and every one of them thinks that the same one happened. They’ve been concerned about cancel culture, but this is next level crazy where they’re now concerned about their safety comics are here to entertain and make us laugh full stop to retaliate physically against the comedian for telling jokes is totally uncalled for and hope.

The academy sends a strong message in support for Chris rock. Caroline Hirsch owns Caroline’s on Broadway. Her says comedians should be able to feel comfortable and being able to perform. I can with this, you get it. All right. The owners. Yes. We want the community, the nobody’s getting up on stage and assaulted comedians.

What else can we talk about? Jim Gaffigan is in Nashville tonight from the Tennessee.

Jim made a poster for his show. Proclaiming in all of the city’s hot chicken was still not hot enough. Jim said, I love hot chicken, but I’m somebody who can’t pace themselves. So later that night, you know, the bill comes due for the hot chicken, but I’m still a guy that if I’m in Nashville, I’m going to get hot chicken.

The question is before or after the show smart thing would be to do it after the. But given that the promoters are Outback concerts and they’re from Nashville. I think they’re probably going to give me some hot chicken before I did a show in Lafayette, Louisiana, and they brought crawfish. They’re just like whatever the local specialties are, this fat guy is going to want this food.

That’s my equivalent of touring with an entourage. It’s the food great stuff. Natasha Lazaro caught up at the Chicago Tribune. She she describes her new shell rat in the kitchen. That’s a cooking competition series on CBS as a cooking who done it almost in the vein of knives out or clue.

We have all these chefs that are coming on and win a cash prize. But what no one knows including Lucero is which one of the chefs is the saboteurs, the rat who’s going to sabotage everybody’s dishes. You never know who you can trust.

She talked about her worst shills and in this story, get rid of the kids. This was after the results of the last presidential election came in. I was so ecstatic. This was in LA and people were partying the streets, my husband and I were driving home from the beach and I had a pee bad. I was not drunk, but I never had a piece so bad.

This was in the middle of COVID. So nothing was open. And then I saw the comedy store it’s on my husband pull over. I can’t say any more. I never had to pee this bad. So I went to the comedy store and bang on the door was [11:00] AM. There’s usually a few cleaners there, but it was COVID.

Everything was locked up, but I had a piece so bad, so I went to a great that’s in the parking lot. I lifted up my dress and squatted over the great and I peed in a great, thankfully I was wearing a dress pants would have be a little more difficult. It’s very hard to be subtle when your penis, a woman, cause you got.

Megan, just be standing there and wouldn’t even know. So I did a very lady like squat, and . Then I did my little jump to drip. I remember looking up and seeing that my name was written on the building and I’m like, you know what? I think this is going to be okay.

So phentermine wants to come up to me and arrest me. I’ll be like, Hey, look, my name’s on the wall. So I’m a lot of P in this. Great. I don’t know if anybody saw me though. There are people driving by and there are people. I try not to squat too much. If somebody did see me kind of looked like I was just in a strange yoga pose in the parking lot.

But her and my husband, his mouth was just hanging open. He couldn’t believe I was being in the parking lot over this. Great. I think he was annoyed. He was afraid someone would see, but I dunno, I just felt like anything’s possible now that we have a new president, you know, so you know what, why not?

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Just open up apple podcasts. You will see the option. Moon night is out today. People are very excited for moon night. Newsweek wrote about it and said, moon is almost here signaling Oscar Isaac’s foray into the MCU.

On the show, Oscar Isaac does a questionable English accent.

He talks about the process of getting into character and reveal that his inspiration was comedian Karl Pilkington. Remember Karl from when podcasts were narrow and Ricky Jarvis had like V hottest podcast and Carl was the, I dunno, a dumb guy on that podcast.

Oscar Isaac said it was set in London and I asked why. And the answer was like, we just have too many characters in New York, so they just decided to change it up. Let’s make them an ex-pat in London.

Oscar said his love for English humor and shows like the office and staff let’s flats help him create his version of Steven Green. And there’s just so much humor that I find funny and that there’s an opportunity here to make something. What if we make them English? What if Peter Sellers was approached with a Marvel project, what would he do?

And I started thinking about that and that led me to Karl Pilkington from an idiot abroad. Music rights for the unversed curl. Pilkington is an English comedian best known for his, an idiot abroad series alongside Ricky and Stephen merchant. His stressed out unintentionally funny type of humor is a far cry from the suave and polished presence fans are used to seeing from Oscar, Isaac.

The Melbourne international comedy festival has started. Fashion journal caught up with comedian Lauren Bonner. Lauren says I’m a comedian, but if you don’t believe me, you can come see my new show elephants at the festival this year. Lauren says the Melbourne comedy festival is huge.

It’s so big. It can be totally overwhelming, but it’s also stacked with so many amazing shows. If you don’t know where to start, let me hear you first. I recommend you seeing me, Lauren Bonner and my show elephant. It’s six 40 every night, except Wednesdays at trades hall. Now I’m done being selfish. You can also see Ben Cochin and Concetta Crystal’s show funny as sin.

I’m also excited to see Frankie McNair show, relax your knees. It’s their debut solo show. And I think it’ll be a cracker. Some other shows that we’ll take silly to another level entirely or Emma Holland’s at dreamer in the mist and Sam Campbell’s companion. Both of these acts do the kind of comedy that makes me wonder if they’re from the same planet as me.

If you want total chaos, try late night shows like Dan rats, cockroach party, or hot departments after. Because I’m in Sydney. I don’t get to see Melbourne bay sacks too often. So I’m really keen to catch. Andrew Portelli is tough guy.

Irvy went to an all-girl school. Grace Jarvis’s digging a hole and Bronwyn cusses, any GOs. These guys are also funny and crushing it on the local club circuit.

The Melbourne international comedy festival has started to run all the way to April 24th. Melbourne is a fantastic city. I loved my time there. The Botanic gardens in that city are absolutely beautiful. What a wonderful place. I hope I get back to Melbourne someday. Hey, maybe an international comedy festival.

We’ll be like, Hey, fly on down. It’s on us. I would go just saying it. The festival did not get off to the best of starts for comedian Mark Watson, his day long flight to get there was canceled on the tarmac at Heathrow. He tweeted my flight’s been canceled on the runway and the captain says it will now continue at [8:00] AM tomorrow.

Continue is doing a bit of lifting there, given that so far, we’ve traveled at zero of the 10,000 miles.

Jeff Foxworthy is on late night with Seth Meyers tonight. All right. Follow the show for free on apple podcasts, overcast, Spotify, wherever you get your shows become a premium subscriber on apple podcasts for 99 a month gets you commercial free episodes, early releases and bonus episodes.

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