Month: March 2023

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Full Transcript

The Shark Deck. Hello, I’m Shunny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. On Monday night, Jimmy Kimmel addressed a report that was in Rolling Stone. According to the report, in twenty eighteen, President Trump asked White House officials to call Disney and demand that Jimmy Kimmel stopped making jokes about Trump. Kimmel said, in other words, President Karen demanded to speak to my manager.

You think the guy that fathered Eric and Don Junior would know how to handle jokes, But I guess not. You know what, maybe this is why Donald Milanny asleep in separate bedrooms. She was laughing too hard at my monologue at night, but really joking aside, this is a blatant abuse of power. I wonder if Fox News, you know they’re always screaming against censoring comedians, will they defend me on this? I doubt it.

Are you excited for Chris Rock’s Big Live Special on Netflix Tomorrow night, Saturday, ten pm Eastern pregame show at nine thirty. Yes. I will react to it in a bonus episode at some point between the end of the special and Monday afternoon. I have some soccer over the weekend I’m not sure when I’m gonna be able to bang this one out, but there will be a bonus episode discussing Chris Rock.

Also, I’d like to invite you to the Facebook hang So Pop on Facebook and the …

I’m going to do some sort of post and we could just chat and watch it together. And if you have some comments, you comment in the comments section. That’s what a comment section is, that’s where comments go. You know, we can comment. So I’ll pop on to Facebook around nine thirty Eastern tomorrow nights and we’ll watch Chris Rock together.

Okay, I’m going to talk about the Chris Rock special here. There are some spoilers for the material, so if you want to skip ahead, bit let me see here. Let me skip ahead about two minutes. Okay, those spoilers. Apparently some of the material that he’s been working out very recently includes Rock saying I rooted for Will Smith my whole life, but the other day I watched Emancipation just so I could watch him getting whipped.

Chris Rock played Baltimore back on February seventeenth, presumably working out the location and the material. At that show, Chris Rock said Will Smith to his selective outrage. People who are in the know know that stuff had nothing to do with me. He’s significantly bigger than me. You’ll never see me on camera with my shirt off.

Will played Muhammad Ali. I played Pooky, and according to the son, Chris rock is keeping his word about never saying Jada Pinkett Smith’s name. That was Will Smith’s request or I keep your name out of your mouth, while Chris Rocky is agreeing to it, referring to her as Will Smith’s wife and his wife. Rock told the crowd at that Baltimore show, we’ve all been cheated on. She hurt him way more than he ever hurt me.

Everyone knows. I’m not spilling any t. I felt so bad for Will I try to call him and give him my condolences. Everybody was calling him a bitch except me. But who does he hit me?

Should be a major comedy event. I’m looking forward to it. Trevor Noah has a new book coming out this fall. Not much is known about it, but publisher One World is billing the novel as a quote gorgeously illustrated and moving modern fable for readers of all ages about forgiveness. Acceptance and the Secret of Solidarity.

Untitled book is said to be evocative of Alice’s adventures in Wonderland and the Little Prince shooting high there Trevor Noah Okay. The Great Outdoors Comedy Festival, usually held in Edmonton Calgary, is expanding to Halifax, and they brought in a big name. He is Jerry Seinfeld. Their release calls Seinfeld quote one of the greatest and most recognizable comedians of all time. I would like to break apart sentences like that now of all time, you know is an awfully long time.

Let’s just casually define all time is starting in nineteen hundred. Is Jerry Seinfeld one of the greatest comedians since nineteen hundred? I’m gonna say yes, no doubt. In the course of my career, I have seen a lot of comedians live. The best two that I’ve seen live.

I never saw George Carlin in person. I never saw Richard Pryor in person. But people that I’ve sat in the audience and watched number one Jerry Seinfeld, Number two, Chris Rock Who’s third best, Johnny Mack I would have to think about that, you know, who was really good and crushed when I saw him Ralphie May. Now am I going to sit here and say Ralphie May third best community of all time? I don’t know if I’m ready to say that, but I’m just racking my brain who I saw in person that like crush crushed, you might have to put a tel in the conversation as well.

That we’ll do that some other day. Jerry Seinfeld will be in Halifax August eleventh. Forbes caught up with Taylor Thomlinson. She’s in Dallas, Texas this weekend five shows at the Majestic Theater. She discussed making the jump to bigger theaters and said, you just have to do everything a lot bigger.

That’s the biggest challenge. At the Comedy Attic in Bloomington, Indiana, you could take two steps in either direction at an improv you can face a bit. But the Chicago Theater is a massive, wide stage and you have to move much more. It’s also different because in some of the rooms, like Chicago, there’s a screen behind you, and that helps. Certain things will work with a screen because the back row can see your facial expressions like in a club.

So thinking about all that and sort of tweaking each performance based on the room you’re in. Is key really interesting there, right, Because I commented earlier in the week that one of the challenges I had watching Kathleen Madigan special is that she didn’t really move. I feel like you got to work the stage a little, right, comedian stops me. Taylor said, I don’t think comedians really need any one thing, or any one opportunity or any one person anymore. I think with podcasts too, everybody has so much control over their career and their voice and finding their people.

I think the Internet has made it so you have so much control over your own career, which ivank is really important and cool. I’ll say you plugging buy me a coffee every day has resulted in a lot of free coffees. Another show here where I didn’t bring one downstairs. I haven’t even finished it yet. I put it in the fridge.

I started it this morning, then I want to work out, and I put it in the fridge and I haven’t gone back to it yet. Here is a bottle of water. I don’t want to shake it too hard because it doesn’t have a camp on it. But if you enjoy what I do here, and you want to support the show. Two a’s one go to buy meacoffee dot com slash Daily Comedy News.

Either there’s some money in the tip jar I buy a coffee. You’ve heard me talk about this every day. You can also become a premium subscriber on Apple Podcasts via Apple podcast and I’ll put the option under your nose. Five bucks a month. First month is free.

If you want to try it out, you can cancel. I’m not offended, but you get the episodes early and you’ll get them ad free. And the ads are back. Did you hear the ads are starting to come back? Yeah, the ads are back.

There’s a plan here telling you appreciate y’all. The numbers have been up again, so it’s been a nice little run here, all right, just for laughs London. Because I have mastered time zones, I’ve been working ahead. So let’s take a look at who’s playing on Saturday. First show is the Fock It Up Comedy Club.

I said, fock foc. I don’t know what you think. I said. The Fuck It Up Comedy Club unapologetically celebrates and centers the perspectives of comedians of color that are not sis men. Fock apparently stands for Fems of Color Comedy Club.

All right, that sounds like it could be a really good show. And that’s a two in the afternoon. Why would we not go three in the afternoon? Craig Robinson in conversation. Now, we supposedly saw Craig Robinson in my little fantasy last night, so we don’t need to see Craig again at four o’clock.

Chapark Course Sandy. The description here ah the nineties, the decade that Chapark was in her twenties, the decade when there was nothing to do but party, and Chapark found herself flying about London with hope in her heart, a tenor in her pocket, and spear knickers in her handbag. She matched the boys pine for pine, and frequently woke up in parts of London she’d never heard of. This is show about how we nineties kids are looking to young people to learn about how to take care of ourselves. That sounds fun too, And that’s at four o’clock, all right, five o’clock Springleaf with James A Castor and nish Kumar undercover cop Pat spring Leaf, more widely known by his covert named James A Castor talks to Nisch Kumar about his upcoming true crime podcast.

At six o’clock, Jessica Fostaq presents Wench, a show about sexy things, awkward, private things, oh no, and a woman trying to sit on the face of time to keep it still right. The Sea’s hot Right. Eight o’clock Ashling b and Friends. Friends include Nish Kumar, Susie Ruffel, and Nebil abduur Shed. Eight thirty Ryan Reynolds, Yeah, that Ryan Reynolds, moderated by Rob Delaney.

You know, I watch Welcome to Wrexham and I see Ryan Reynolds, and I’m like, I don’t think I would enjoy spending time with Ryan Reynolds. I don’t know. My wife is like, you’re insane, but I don’t know, So I’m gonna rule that one out already. Nine o’clock Jordan Gray’s Extra Jordinary Cabaret. Jordan Gray brings some of her favorite pals to join her for an Extra Jordinary cabaret show.

Eleven o’clock. Reggie Watts, all Right, we got a busy day here. Let’s go back to the top and plan out our day. Let’s definitely go to see fock It up at two. Japara Corshandi’s nineties show interested me, So we’ll do that one that was at like five.

Then we’ll grab a beer and some food. Then let’s do Ashley Bed that was like the eight o’clock show, and we can get Reggie Watts late. That’s a pretty solid night of comedy. Huh, too bad we’re not in London. Then we could say up till three in the morning and log into Netflix and watch Chris Rock Live and then really pass out.

US Magazine has twenty five things you don’t know about Jim Gaffigan. The twenty five things we’re provided to US Magazine by Jim Gaffigan. I don’t know if I want to do twenty five. Let’s do ten and then we’ll do some more tomorrow. How about that Number one?

Jim Gaffigan says, I’m more of an eater than a cookery. I like to make meat sauce with spicy peppers that I grow in my own garden. All right. Number two things you didn’t know about Jim Gaffigan. It was embarrassing a little or I understood the science that portrayed on my character’s kids show in Linoleum.

All right, Jim, you plugged your movie. You could have put that a little deeper fine. Number three. One thing fans always say to me on the street is either meow from Supertroopers were hot pocket, or they asked me how do I know you? Number four.

My biggest secret talent is that I could sleep a lot and still be exhausted. Number five. My first car was a Fierro which looked like a wedge of cheese. Six. My favorite item my wardrobe is a fancy robe that my wife got me.

I used to make jokes that I hated robes, but this robe was so nice. When I put it on, I’m like, I should just live in this. Number seven. This one’s good. I think Ellen Degenerous was my celebrity crush growing up.

Number eight, We Are Young reminds me of being in the car and my kids singing along to that song, the version by Fun. Number nine David Copperfield is Jim Gaffigan’s favorite book, and number ten. On a typical Saturday night, you’ll find him on stage doing stand up. I don’t think that’s like something we didn’t know about you, Jim. I think we kind of all knew that.

I’ll skip head to number eleven on Sunday afternoon. You’ll usually find me napping if I’m lucky. Alrighty, so I’ll save the rest for tomorrow. We’ll come back. So you want to make sure you don’t miss the show.

So you’re gonna follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or YouTube, whatever thing is. We’ll meet back here tomorrow. So you’re at McDonald’s and you get your bag and you open your bag. You want to grab a couple of fries or something, and there’s five thousand dollars in it. Yeah, this happened at one guy.

Hi, I’m Johnny mac, host of five Good News Stories. He gave the money back. Don’t worry. If you want to start your day with a smile. Twice a week, I’ve got five good news stories for you.

For example, there’s an airline for dogs. Or what about the woman in her eighties who just released her debut album. How about the dude who found one hundred and fifty corn on the cobs under his floorboards? Is corn on the cobs? Even the way you say that?

Who cares? And yes, that was a pony at the supermarket? Five Good News Stories the number five Good News stories, Five good news Stories, the Number five good news stories. Wherever you get your podcasts

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Full Transcript

The Shark Deck Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. A lot to get to today. Let’s start with Chris Rock Special Saturday night at ten o’clock nad Flix, and they’ve now added a pregame show at a postgame show, the show before the show, that’s the title Little Stream, Beginning at nine thirty Eastern. It’ll kick off with live commentary from comics and messages from Chris Rock’s famous pals. The famous pals include Amy Schumer and Jerry Seinfeld.

So it sounds like somebody at Netflix called in some favors and it’s like, hey, Jerry and Amy, can you jump on zoom for ten seconds? And they said sure. The pre show also includes messages from Centric the Entertainer, Iced Tea, Sarah Silverman, and Paul McCartney. This is I find these things weird. I like Chris Rock, I like Paul McCartney.

I don’t care what Paul McCartney thinks about Chris Rock. Why do you do this? I know why you do this. You do this because of the press release. Believe me, at Famous Plays I used to work, they were all about the press release.

It didn’t even matter if the content was good, if you could put Paul McCartney’s name and the Chris Rock press release and get some idiot with a podcasts basement to talk about it. You get a bonus. My friend, so, I totally understand the game, but the game is stupid. I don’t care what Paul McCartney has to say about Chris Rock, really don’t. I also don’t care what Chris Rock has to say about Paul McCartney.

Your host will be The Daily Show’s Ronnie Ching. Interesting choice of host for the Chris Rock Special.

Also scheduled to appear Arseniel Hall, Dion Cole, and Leslie Jones.

Then the postgame show, which is called The Show After the Show, that’ll be hosted by David Spade and Dana Carvey. Their scheduled guests include JB. Smooth and Kareem Abdul Jabbar. Okay, Chris Rock’s gonna go live at TAN Eastern from Baltimore, Maryland. My plan is I’m going to do this as a bonus episode, and I’m not sure when i’ll get it out.

I’ll possibly stay up late Saturday night and do something Sunday morning. I know I’m out the door pretty early with soccer and I’m home kind of late, so sometimes Sunday and I’ll do a bonus episode that is just about the Chris Rock Special. This is going to be a major event. You may have heard Chris Rock was slapped by Will Smith at last year’s Oscars, so I imagine there will be a lot of eyes on this live special again. It’s a Saturday night, ten o’clock Eastern on Netflix.

The special will remain available to stream after the initial airing, but the pre and postgame shows will only be available live. In other Big News, south By Southwest they announced their lineup. The south By Southwest Comedy Festival is March tenth through the fourteenth. I’m going to read off a lot of names. If you don’t want to hear me just reading names.

Hit thirty second, skip ready, go, Abby Jacobson, Adrian I, Pollucci, Andre Hyland, Anna Hendrick, Anthony and Tamnuik. He’s great, Anthony, DeVito, Aristola Thori. Remember he was on SNL for five minutes. Is he’s still on? He’s gone right?

Beth Stelling, Bob Odenkirk, Brian Moses, Caitlin Pallufo, Caleb Huron, Chelsea Handler, Christina Katherine Martinez, Doug Benson, Eddie peppittonem A Willman, Eric Andre, Philippia Sparza, Godfrey, Greg Proops, is My Ault, Lutfi, Jackie Fabulous, Jake Johnson, James Adomian, Jessica McKenna, Joe to Rosa, John Gimberling, Josh Johnson, all Right, we’re up to the Jay’s Joy l Johnson, Katherine Blandford, Leonard Malton, Matt Besser, Mike Lawrence, Natalie Palamides, She’s due for a new special. That last one was so good, Nick Phune, Patton Oswalt, Pete Lee, Phoebe Robinson, Rachel Sennott, Reggie Watts, Sabrina Jaley’s, Sam, j Sam Talent, Sanny Honig, Steve ag Steph Tolev Stewart Goldsmith, Tim Robinson, Sodberry, Tone Beell, Yaminikas Sanders plus Moore. Some of the shows Adult Swims, The Eric Andre’s Show, as Kat, Doug Loves Movies, Malton on Movies, Matt Besser’s four twenty Show, Rose Battles, Tournament of Champions, Variety’s Power of Comedy Show, Will Honor, Chelsea Handler, Jake Johnson, Anna Kendrick Patton, Oswald, Phoebe Robinson, Tim Robinson, Zach Kanan, and others. This star studded celebration of comedy would be hosted by Mike Lawrence and Nick Fuhne. Chelsea Handler will receive the Icon Award, recognizing her achievements as comedian, TV and best selling author.

Patton Oswalt received the Stand Up Award, honoring his accomplishments as a beloved comic, having filmed eight comedy specials and seven comedy albums. Senna will receive the Breakthrough Artist Award. There’s a lot of buzz on Rachel Sennat. You may know her from starring Indy Pete Davidson movie Bodies Bonnie’s Bodies. James Adomian returns to do his third festival keynote Comic Relief US, the nonprofit organization known around the world for Red Nosed Days.

They’ll be hosting stand up performances and a special event, Funny Thing About Breaking Up The Boys Club. Abby Jacobson, Sam j and Joel Johnson joined for discussion on the impact of women who break barriers and the power of laughter to effect change. Good Trip Live a night of comedy and psychedelic stories with Eric Andre, Reggie Watt, Steve ag Sanny Honigg, and others. UCBE co founder Matt Besser’s back with a four twenty show and Ask Cats, featuring true tales from celebrity guests and inspired scenes from some of today’s most skilled performers. UCB favorites Anthony it Tamnwick, John Gimmerling, and Jessica McKenna will join on the fun that should be Really Good.

Besser will also present Johnny Cash Junior and the Neppo Babies ut Nanny Johnny Cash Junior, played by Matt Besser. I Love This Already hosts an evening of infamous Neppo Babies performing in their biggest hits or maybe their parents’ biggest hits Awesome. Joe da Rosa comedian and owner of New York City sandwich shop Joey Rose’s, returns with another edition of last year’s hit Joe to Rose’s Sandwich Summit. The Summit brings together chefs and creators behind some of Austin’s best eats to talk about all things sandwich. Why not.

This all kicks off March tenth, that’s next week, so we’ll have a lot of fun talking about that. Tom Brady made the news TMZ reporting Tom Brady is not pursuing a full blown second career in stand up comedy. Yeah, there was a little rumor going around that Tom Brady was going to put off his Fox Sports career to become a stand up comedian. Now when you read that story, don’t you go that makes no sense at all. That was my reaction to it.

The initial report quoted a source you said Tom was a terrific quarterback, but he needs to toss this idea before it’s too late. The source clai it was part of a plan to win back ex wife Jasell Uh huh, because she’s gonna be like, oh, Tom’s doing stand up The biggest obstacle between them was Jazelle’s complaints about Tom putting football before family, so he decided to show her he’s willing to focus on them before taking the job at Fox. His only goal right now is to get his family back and apparently do stand up comedy. It’s anyway. TMZ says that’s nonsense, But they aren’t talking about doing a roast of Tom Brady.

He’s in talks with Netflix to be the center of a roast that would be titled the Greatest Roast of All Time, and you know what you’ll watch. Hey, if you like what I do here, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash Daily Comedy News. I don’t have a coffee with me. I do have this bottle of water, but that’s not what we’re doing here. We’re talking about coffees.

Cheryl bought me two coffees. Cheryl, thank you very much. Cheryl and I have been emailing on the side, and she’s been the inspiration of a topic I talked about yesterday that I’m going to talk about again in a minute. Cheryl, thank you very much. If you like what I do here, go to buy me a coffee dot com slash Daily Comedy News.

I will take your money. I will put it in my bank account. My bank account is tied to my Donuts Chain account. I’ll pick up my phone in the morning, I’ll log into the Donut Chain app. I’ll hit the same order as yesterday, and in that order a large eyed coffee with caramel and almond milk.

I tell you I’m loving cutting back on the dairy and made myself a smoothie yesterday. I put yogurt in it. And I was like half asleep again. So I’m trying to replace the yogurt with the almond milk. But I like my strubberry yogurt in my smoothing.

It’s so hard being old. Zone Age buy milcof dot com slash Daily Comedy News Real Quick Hasan Minhaj I shared a clip of him hosting the Daily Show in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group. I continue to think he feels like the right host for the job. Now he needs a couple of reps. He wasn’t like totally on point on his first installment hosting the Daily Show, but he could easily get there.

I think he’s right for the sentiment of the show. Right vibe, right age. Just feels right to me. But we’ll see what they decide. So that clips on the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group.

Also in that group, I’m pulling you, guys. I think I want to do some sort of live chat or live reaction to this Chris Rock thing. I’m thinking maybe doing it in the Facebook group and we could all kind of chat along as we watch. So let me know your thoughts on that, all right. The Jessera laughs.

A London Comedy Festival continues, and because i have educated myself about time zones, I’m working a day in advance. So let’s see who’s playing their Friday seven o’clock Randy field Face. Are you’re familiar with Randy feld Face, He’s a puppet, He’s purple. Since beginning his comedy career in Milbourne, Australia in twenty five, Randy feld Face has written and performed ten solo stand up comedy shows. Were these four comedy specials and played sell out places all across the world.

Randy’s live show is a high energy existential crisis fill of biting observations, rezor sharp crowd work and rapid arm At eight o’clock, The Graham Norton Variety Show featuring Katherine Ryan, Joe I Said, Phil Wang, Jeed Adams, Danny Beard, Sam Ryder and others. At nine o’clock Stamptown hosted by Zach Zucker featuring Sam Campbell, Desire Birch, Michelle Brazier, Flowing Joan and some others. Raunchy, chaotic, and the only show that consistently runs in New York, London and La Stamptown is the Late Night Variety show featuring the best performance from around the world, and then at eleven o’clock Craig Robinson and the Nasty Delicious. I’m not sure what the split of comedy and music is there, but we’re free at eleven o’clock, all right. So at seven o’clock do we go see Randy felt Face or do we go see the Graham Norton Variety Show because we came all the way to London and we should see something British.

I really like Randy felt Face, but I feel like we’ll be able to catch him in Montreal or something. Let’s do Graham Norton at eight o’clock. Now that’s going to box us out from catching Stamptown. So tonight’s play Graham Norton at eight and we’ll see Craig Robinson for the eleven o’clock show. How’s that sound?

And by tonight I mean Friday night? Okay. So yesterday, towards the end of the show, I was talking about the subject of women in comedy and how many women comedians I discuss on the show or not. Then I got some text from my daughter that we’re distracting for good reason. I don’t want to get too much into it.

But something really terrible happened to someone we know, So that’s what happened there. But the topic of women comedians is on my mind and started poking at it. As you know, I’m fascinated with AI chats, so I went to bing and asked being a question, Hey, how many comedians are women? Being said hello? This is being According to one source, eleven point three percent of stand up comedians or women and eighty eight point seven percent are men in the US.

That to me sounds totally off, but being continued and said. Another source gives a similar estimate of twenty six point seven percent women and seventy three point three percent men for comedians in general in the US. For me, no research at all. That feels right. About twenty six percent that feels right to me.

I’ve thought about it more and I think there are a lot of younger women comics, and they tend to be in the alts scene, and most of the comedy websites tend to live in the bro dude Austin kind of comedy scene. So as I researched the show every day, it’s either like the big headliners who’ve been around for a while your Jerry Seinfelds, or your Jim Gaffigans, or your Chris Rocks or that bro dude scene of Crasher Sigora and Rogan and those guys. Although Jim Jeffreys in there. You know that kind of vibe. There’s that style of comedy, and you don’t see much all stuff in the trade.

So it could be that too that is affecting my choices of what I talk about here or not now being sourced zipia dot com slash stand up comedian jobs with a bunch of hyphens in there. I’m not reading the url. I don’t know too much about this website, but they have some demographics here. This is the survey that had only eleven point three percent of comedians being women. So I don’t know how much want to read into this, but for what it’s worth, percentage of stand up comedians by race White fifty seven point four, Hispanic or Latino seventeen point four, Black or African American twelve point eights, unknown six point seven, Asian five point four, average age thirty seven point nine.

I guess gender. Bay gapp for stand up comedian women earn ninety six cents for every dollar earned by men mail income forty nine eight hundred forty one dollars, female income forty seven six thirty seven. I know I’ve got a couple comics. Listen on the show. Hey guys, you guys making forty nine thousand doing stand up might be throwing in some lesser amounts with Jerry Seinfeld’s income in there.

You know, average can be very waited if you have some big numbers in there. But I don’t know now. According to this site, which is zippia dot com, in twenty ten, comedians were almost ninety one percent, with women being nine percent. By twenty twenty one, those numbers eighty eight point six and eleven point three, And it feels a little low. This next thing is cracking me up.

You can go to Zippia dot com zippia dot com and you can make of this next fact what you want. Top industries hiring stand up comedians number one, government, really, next up media, then professional whatever that means, retail and start up. Sixteen percent of stand up comedians working for the government. Okay, And some of these stand up comedian jobs posted on the website include concessions, stand attendant, red Bull arena. So I’m not sure what we’ve learned from that.

Then I went to chat TGP you whatever it is, I always get it wrong. It’s TGP right, TBG Wait. I didn’t even just say letters there leave it in that one Chatbott said it is difficult to give an exact percentage, But according to a twenty nine survey by the Highlywood Reporter, all right, that seems like a legit source. Only ten percent of the top earning comedians in the US were women. Another study by the BBC in twenty seventeen found that women made up only thirteen percent of their performance at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, one of the largest and most prestigious comedy festivals in the world.

So that thirteen percent seems kind of in the ballpark. I don’t know. I don’t know what the real numbers are other than whatever I computed on yesterday’s podcast. But it’s an interesting topic to me. And that’s your comedy news for today.

Follow show for free on Apple podcast, Spotify YouTube where if you get your shows and a see tomorrow. So you’re at McDonald’s and you get your bag and you open your bag. You want to grab a couple of fries or something, and there’s five thousand dollars in it. Yeah, this happened at one guy. Hi, I’m Johnny Mac, host of Five Good News Stories.

He gave the money back. Don’t worry. If you want to start your day with a smile, twice a week, I’ve got five good news stories for you. For example, there’s an airline for dogs. Or what about the woman in her eighties who just released her debut album.

How about the dude who found one hundred and fifty corn on the cobs under his floorboards? Is corn on the cobs even the way you say that? Who cares? And yes, that was a pony at the supermarket. Five Good News Stories the number five good news stories.

Five good news Stories, the number five Good news Stories. Wherever you get your podcasts

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Full Transcript

The Shark Deck. I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. The big news of the week will be Saturday night, ten o’clock Chris Rock Live on Netflix. I might live tweet this thing and we’ll see what happens. Will Smith, forever tied to Chris Rock.

Will was on social media and he shared a TikTok and the other chicktoker says, did you know you can pick up any object, look at it and ask what it thinks of you? So, for example, you can pick up a pen and ask how it sees you or what it thinks of you, and you’ll get an answer in your mind from your intuition. You can ask your car what it thinks of you. You can even ask money what it thinks of you. Will Smith then picks up as Best Actor Oscar Trophy and gives it a puzzled look.

All Righty, Woody Harrelson cause a little controversy on Saturday Night Live. By the way, that was a really bad SNL and you could kind of tell from the get go. James Austin Johnson and the opener did his trump thing and it was fine.

And then Woody Harrelson’s monologue which I’m about to talk about was poor, …

Even the news wasn’t particularly good. So aside from the kerfluffle, which I’ll tell you about in a second, I just thought Woody Harrison’s monologue was bad. I expect better from him. He should be much more natural at that. In his monologue, wood he said, the last time I did SNL was around Thanksgiving twenty nineteen, three years ago.

And you’ll not believe what happened after the show. The next day was a Sunday, as it always is the day after to do Saturday Night Live. That was probably the best joke of the entire night. I went walking in the greatest part of the city, Central Park, laid against a tree, and started to read the craziest script. So the movie goes like this, the biggest drug cartels in the world get together and buy up all the media and all the politicians and force the people in the world to stay locked in their home and people can only come out if they take the cartels drugs and keep taking them over and over.

I do the script away. I mean, who was going to believe that crazy idea of being forced to do drugs? I do that voluntarily all day. Some of the headlines from The Washington Post on SNL, Woody Harrison pushed his popular COVID nineteen conspiracy theory vanity fair. Woody Harrison really blew it on SNL people.

Woody Harrison’s spark controversy by supporting COVID vaccinine conspiracy theory. DMZ Woody Harrison floats COVID vacs conspiracy and from the av Club, Elon Musk praises Woody Harrison’s anti VAXX choke. Pretty bad episode. They did honor Richard Belzer with a title card showing a young Richard Belzer performing stand up. Joe Rogan has caused a stir.

Yes, he has slammed the bald eagle. You know, the sometimes symbol of America, the bald eagle as an effing, soulless, evil creature. Joe Rogan was joking around with Ari Shaffir, Mark Norman, and Shane Gillis. They were discussing how China often leases pand is to US zoos and note now the band is associated with the country. Joe Rogan said, there’s an animal that represents America.

It’s funny that it’s an eagle because eagles are It’s kind of an effing, soulless, evil creature that likes to eat dead fish. Gillis chimed in and said Benjamin Franklin was right. We should have had a turkey. Rogan didn’t used to be a dog. I think at one point it was the dog.

It was like a pit bull. Is that true that America’s national animal was a pit bull at one time? Mark? I’m in joke that it was actually rapper pitbull. When Twitter user wrote tell me you’re a boorish, ignorant American Caucasian mail without telling me you’re a boorish, ignorant American Caucasian mail, I’m not sure how we got from the eagle to that, but okay, I like controversy.

Bert Kreischer was unpardoned my take and asked how long will he live or it? Said I think about that a lot. I wonder. I don’t have a lot of the issues that I know dudes that live my lifestyle have because I work out really hard. Like I’m looking at Shane Gillis last night.

If he lives to be forty two, I’ll be shocked. He’s a bull, But he comes in at like three in the morning, and I’m in bed. I called it early last night. I got in bed at one. Shane gets in bet at three, stays out in the morning.

I’m up at seven in the morning. I’m going to do radio shows. I’m doing interviews. I come back. I have hairstylists coming over to cut everyone’s hair.

I got a chiropractor. We’re making breakfast, we’re running meetings, we’re working social media. Shane still in bed, locked his door. Dudes like him and Mark Norman, they party, but for some reason they rebound. I don’t know what it is.

Back to how long he’ll live. F I had to give you a real number, I got the fifties. Fifties, I’ll be fine. I won’t have any health problem in my fifties. Extes, it’ll be like, oh, we found a polyp.

I think I could make it as a seventy seven clean and I think I’m gonna go from like a shark attack or something. I’m hoping my death surprises people. I can’t go out from something like associated with partying, So why don’t do coke anymore? If I do coke and I have a heart attack, everyone’s gonna be like, woh, we saw that coming. That’s why I don’t do coke.

I want to get like attacked by an animal, or like a plane crash that sounds nice. Murdered by my wife, that’d be cool as f something where they don’t have the obituary ready to go. David Cross will join the upcoming season of The Umbrella Academy. David Cross will play Sy Grossman, who is an upstanding, shy business owner and family man desperate to reconnect with his strange daughter. We’ll stop at nothing to get her back.

BJ Novak was giving some sort of speech and started talking about Mindy Kaling back in their office days. BJ said, we were in love with each other and we were reckless idiots. When the producers realized that our relationship as co writers had jumped every conceivable boundary and became a tumultuous, romantic, toxic, boundaryless mess, they both aside and said, hey, you should have scenes together too. Novac made fun of the references to their relationship in Middy’s next series, The Mindy Project. He described the love interests of Mindy as men who looked weirdly like me.

If you enjoy what I do here. You can go to buy meacoffee dot com slash Daily Comedy News, throw a couple of bucks in the tip jar. I’ll take your money. I go to National don’ts Shane. I’ll get a large iced coffee with caramel and almond milk.

Really enjoying getting off the darium so less sleepy. How old am I? Another way it support the shows go on Apple Podcast. I’ll put the premium subscription option under you five bucks a month to get the episodes early and ad free. You can test drive that for a month for free in itself if you want to try that.

I watched some comedy specials Draffa Zepp, he’s a friend of the podcast, and he went on the Daily Comedy News podcast group on Facebook and he suggested Drew Lynch and it was Friday night and I was like, all right, I’ll watch Drew Lynch. It was funny enough. I got a little long from me to the end, but I was enjoying it. Won’t make the end of the year list, it was funny. I was enjoying it.

I also appreciated Drew Lynch who posted it for free on YouTube with commercials. No problem, no issue. He placed the commercials. That’s right. Other comedians.

Drew Lynch came to the end of a complete thought and then there was a commercial and I went, cool, make some money, bro, happy for you, and then the commercial ended and then we had a new chunk. That’s how you do it, you comedians that just monetize but let things go in the middle of a sentence. Come on, man, it’s not hard. I do it every single day here. I end a sentence on a down inflection and then I leave a break.

It’s not hard, just do that. I also watched Kathleen Madigan’s new special on Amazon and I was thinking about it. So I actually know Kathleen and I’ve been listening to Kathleen’s comedy for twenty something years now, and I was thinking about, all right, what’s bothering me about this one? And she doesn’t move around too much, So as you’re watching the special, you’re just staring at Kathleen and it’s just a woman behind a microphone, not moving left or right, just standing behind a microphone. Not that I’m looking for jump cuts, but I do like my comedian to use the stage a little bit.

And as I thought more about it, because I ran the comedy channels at sis XM. All those years, I’ve listened to a lot of Kathleen’s comedy, but that’s it. I’ve listened to it. I don’t know if I’ve ever watched a Kathleen special. Maybe the previous one, but for the most part, my consumption of her material has been listening to it.

So then I thought about the material and closed my eyes and I’m like, oh, this is Kathleen doing Kathleen things very funny. If you like Kathleen Madigan, you’ll love this new special. Gives it groundbreaking Nope? Will it make the end of the year list, Nope. If you like Kathleen Madigan, here’s Kathleen Madigan doing her thing very nice special this week it’s just for laughs.

London. I would have loved to have been over there, but not going to happen. I finally remembered about the concept of time zones. So what I’m going to do here is I’m going to work a day in advance for the London Festival. This is Thursday Night’s lineup.

It’s not as robust as say Montreal or Moon Tower or any of the bigger festivals, but here are the options for Tonight, Adam Buxton presents the Best of Bug That is the long running sellout BFI music video show. Expect a selection of outs standing videos from the last few years and variously unhinged comments from the online community. Brad Williams is playing, and I think that’s going to be the choice. Luisa o’meilan is also playing. Luisa creates iconic one woman shows.

She was the first comedian to receive a bath to breakthrough for stand up, not the first female comedian, the first. Or we could see Katherine Ryan and friends. Friends include Darren Harriet’s, Kerry Godliman and Ed Gamble. That one’s at nine thirty. Luisa’s show is at eight thirty.

Brad Williams is at seven o’clock. M see now part of me I want to see UK comedians because we came all this way, but the timing’s not going to work out. Let’s do Brad Williams at seven. He is very, very funny, and then we’ll do the Katherine Ryan show at nine thirty.

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And then when you’re like, hey, let’s go hang out, I’m gonna be like, we’re i…

You Americans and your four am bar closings. I was over there a couple of years ago. I had a tough time getting a beer at like nine. Genieya Sheer is on tour. Do you know Gina the British Nigerian comedian, Very very funny.

Her tour is called the Woman King of Comedy. Her signature distinctive physical humor, shed light on the plights of being a brit in America, constantly educating Americans on the mere existence of black British people, the absurdity of the American healthcare system, and overt American racism versus passive UK racism. Brooklyn and June, Chicago and Detroit. In July Portland, Which Portland? It doesn’t say, I’m going to guess the Oregon One.

Yes, that’s an August Gina Sheer, the Woman King of Comedy. Quick stop at Gossip Corner. Hey, who is the woman in a bikinis skiing in Whistler, British Columbia. That’s right, it was Chelsea Handler. She posted a social media video of her annual clothing optional birthday ski trip.

She was wearing a broad top of American and Canadian flags and black bikini bottoms, and she pulled off the skiing runs successfully and we’ve got a full listener Maile segment. Today, I heard from Scott Beckett, friend of the show. Scott wrote, John Dude, on your February twenty fourth episode, you read a correction from Tom who said Brian Hamilton is from Ohio, or at least that’s what you said when you spoke Yes, I secreted it up again. Scott points out Ryan Hamilton is not from Canada, He’s not from Ohio. He’s from Idaho.

So I wanted to be sure this time. Titan Ryan Hamilton, Idaho. Here’s what I’ve learned. Place of birth Ashton, which is a city in Fremont County, Idaho, United States. Population was eleven hundred twenty seven at the twenty ten census, and Ashton is part of the Rexburg Micropolitan Statistical Area.

The district is noted for seed potato production and bills itself as the world’s largest seed potato growing area. But I needed to double source this and from the East Idaho News, Ryan Hamilton said, my mother’s side of the family is from Ashton, which is in Idaho. His dad was from southern California, which is not Idaho at all, and his grandfather owned a general variety store in Ashton, which, as you know, is in Idaho, which is where Ryan Hamilton is from. Hamilton remembers being attracted to comedy from an early age. Would read the Sunday paper.

There was a humor column that was syndicated Dave Barry is his name, and I just loved it. I thought, this guy is the greatest job in the world. We didn’t even have a school newspaper at the time, so I called the county paper and asked if I could write a column. They said yeah, So I started writing a column in the newspaper. That led to a job as a sports supporter at local News eights in Idaho, Idaho Falls, which is where everybody Idaho, which is where Ryan Hamilton is from.

He started doing jokes in the nightly sportscast later as a college student at Rick’s College in Rexburg. By the way, how old was he then if he was doing sports before college.

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Now, let’s make sure we know where Rix is.

Rix College was a religious two year college in Rexburg, Idaho, which is where Ryan Hamilton is from. Previously known as Rix Normal College. The institution was later renamed as Brigham Young University, dash Idaho. Ryan said, the first time I ever did stand up comedy was for the radio station at Rexburg, again Rexburg in Idaho, which is where Ryan Hamilton is from. He never really thought of comedy as a career.

He was laid off from a pr job he’d gotten after college. He started doing comedy gigs more frequently in Utah, which is not Idaho at all. Then he moved to Seattle, which is not Idaho, and he said, I just wanted to see what it was like to get on stage every night. I was at a competition. I won the industry night.

It was a week’s long competition, but there was one night where people from la which is not in Idaho by the way, came who were from studios. They were looking to represent comedians. I won that night. That solidified me to keep going.

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And also got a note from Cheryl and we had a nice email exchange about this, …

So she sent me this note with love, and I find it really interesting, She wrote, of the two hundred and eighty four comedians you mentioned from Wednesday February eighth until Wednesday February twenty second, only fifty nine were women. And she even has a napkin or something that she sent me a picture of with all the check marks of what I was mentioning. I love that you did this. This is so wonderful. So I have divided fifty nine by two eighty four, and that is a twenty point seven seven percentage of me mentioning women.

So let’s go back and look at today just out of curiosity. And I’m doing this on the flight and plan to do this all right, I scrolled back up to the top of the script. Woody Harrelson, Richard Belzer, Joe Rogan. So we’re over three or Shafiir Mark Norman to Shane Gillis over six, Bert Kreisher o for seven, David Crosso for eight, bj Novak, Mindy Kaling one for ten, Drew Lynch and Madigan two for twelve, Genie Is shared three for thirteen, four for fifteen. So what’s four divide to buy fifteen?

Chelsea Handler four for fourteen, Ryan Hamilton, he’s from Idaho twenty six percent. Look at Johnny Mack talks about women all the time. No, so I sat Rosa Cheryl. Here’s what I do when I put together show. I google comedy, then comedian.

Then I check out Twitter, Hollywood Reporter, a v Club, Vulture, the Laugh Button, sometimes the Insterror Bang, you know a bunch of other sites. Then if I don’t have enough stuff, I will google names like Joe Rogan and as Cheryl and I were emailing about names like Joe Rogan or Burke Kreischer, they definitely help with the SEO on more people discover the podcast. Why don’t I talk about women comedians more often? I just don’t see the news. So that’s a discussion in itself.

As I’m doing this rape my kid is texting me with a mini crisis, so I have lost my focus. So I’m just going to wrap this up and try and pick this back up tomorrow. That’s your company needs for today. See you then. Hello.

I am Mark Francis, host of Palace Intrigue, the podcast that delves into the daily drama of the British royal family. These short daily episodes cover the latest news and scandals involving the likes of Prince Harry Megan, Mark, Kate Middleton, King Charles and the rest, From back room sources to public controversies, We’ve got you covered. Whether you’re a longtime fan or just curious about the Royals, Palace Intrigue is the perfect podcast for you, so join us as we explore the Lives Lakes season dramas of the British monarchy. Subscribe now, and never is an episode of Palace Intrigue.