Month: April 2024

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Jenny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Jerry Seinfeld making a lot of buzz with this clip from the New Yorker Radio Hour. Let’s listen, nothing really affects comedy. People always need it.

They need it so badly, and they don’t get it. It used to be you would go home at the end of the day. Most people would go, oh, Cheers is on, Oh Mash is on, Oh, Mary Tyler Moore is on. All the Family’s on. You just expected there’ll be some funny stuff we can watch on TV tonight.

Well guess what where is it? This is the result of the extreme left and PC crap and people worrying so much about offending other people. When you write a script and it goes into four or five different hands committees groups. Here’s our thought about this joke. Well, that’s the end of your comedy.

They move the gates, like in the schime Yea culture. The gates are moving. Your job is to be agile and clever enough that wherever they put the gates, I’m gonna make the gate. I agree with Jerry there. The Independent does not agree with Jerry nor me.

Under the headline, Jerry Seinfeld is wrong about the extreme left ruining comedy. Adam White writes, and this is a week opener because it’s so hack I read it for batim. What’s the deal with wokeness? Jerry Seinfeld probably whispers to himself while reclining in his bathtub of money. Over the course of his forty plus years in show business, the billionaire, observational comedian and actor has embodied a number of different guys.

Is the stand up the sitcom star, the maker of b movie, and now he’s embraced another persona the kind of truthfully must be resisted by all the latent life scold. Somebody’s not a fan of Jerry, Apparently. If you feel like you’ve heard Seinfeld say this already, you’re probably just confusing him with one of the other Yester Year comics who’ve mounted impassion condemnations of cancel culture. John Clees, Dave Chappelle, Jimmy co Ricky Tervay’s and French and Saunders have all insisted they can’t say anything more, usually from the stages of their Netflix specials their GP News chat shows. Yes, it’s the super unsuccessful Jerry Seinfeld, Dave Chappelle, Jimmy Carr, and Ricky Tervais.

Nobody likes them. Seinfeld’s claims are particularly annoying, though. If it feels like there’s been a dearth of new comedy on TV lately, it’s probably to do with our modern day viewing habits, which favor comforting nostalgia over new ideas. I’m kind of already sic of Jerry Seinfeld stories. If you are too, It’s going to be a long week.

The pops Hearts movie Unfrosted opens on Friday. It co stars bourbon entrepreneur Jim Gaffigan. Amy Schumer is in this as well. We haven’t seen Amy do any press yet. Let me take one more look, I think I look this morning.

Nothing from Amy yet, Jim, I’ve seen a little. I pushed that to Friday, but it’s gonna be a long week. From that New Yorker interview, Jerry says Chris Rock is the smartest person maybe I’ve ever met. I was with Chris a couple weeks ago. He was talking about a young comic who’s asking the comedian about what he did that day, and the guy said, nothing, but I’m going to do a set tonight and Chris explain to him, you make money during the day, you collected at night.

During the day is where the money is made. Jerry says, Comedians don’t generally think they have to do more than perform on stage every night. They don’t think there’s more to it than that. But there’s quite a bit more to it. If you have a really solid work ethic and have some sense of writing, you can move into different fields more easily.

They asked Jerry what working means for him. He said, if anyone cares, here’s what I did. I’ve been reading a lot of Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations book, which I’m sure you probably read when you were fourteen. And the funny thing about that book is he talks a lot about the fallacy of even thinking of leaving a legacy, thinking your life is important, thinking anything’s important, the ego and fallacy of at the vanity of it. And his book, of course, disproves it all because he wrote this thing for himself and it lived on centuries beyond his life, affecting other people.

So he defeats his own argument in the quality of the book. I’ve adopted the Marcus Aurelius philosophy, which is that everything I’ve done means nothing. I don’t think for a second that’ll ever mean anything to anyone ten days after I’m dead. As for the Pop Tarts movie, how did it come together? Jerry said on Zoom we have a meeting and the four of us, four comedy writers who love each other’s sense of humor.

I do a twenty minute warm up of just anything of nonsense. What’d you do last night? What j eat? What you watch? You can start laughing and having fun.

That’s how comedy is done. You can’t have anybody in the room who doesn’t have the scene Breen disaffection. There’s a lot of really vile profinity complaining about absolutely everything and anything, and then you go, okay, where were we working on that scene yesterday? What was that scene? Where were gonna go from here?

And then you start to write. But you’re in this mood now, and that’s how you write comedy. If somebody else walks in the room, you have to stop and go what do you want? Yeah? I know, dinner’s fine, six fine?

Okay? Jerry? Did you love pop Tarts growing up? Ah? Yeah?

How about now? Still? Yeah? I love them? I needed for breakfast they did after a bad show on Wednesday night?

Do you fall up there, Jerry? When have you ever had a bad show? A lot of times? I mean to me, bad shows. I’m gonna do four new pieces tonight, three of them tank.

It’s a frustrating night. The show’s still good. But I was trying to do You’re always trying to forge ahead. Did Kelloggs know they were going to do this? No?

No, We only called them three weeks ago to tell them. By the way, we found a lawyer in the valley. We asked you, I write us a letter saying this is okay to do that we can show to Netflix follow up, so there’s no fee paid to kellogg or no pervision given or taken. Jerry said, no, you think Kelloggs would make a movie where people lose their lives trying to invent to pastry.

Meanwhile, Jerry was on in Depth with Graham Benzinger and Fox recap this.

Jerry said he wrestles with a darkening mood. Jerry says, sometimes I just don’t feel good, and the best way to get out of it for me is work. Work is the best antidote. That’s why I work so much. Because for some reason, you feel like you’re not wasting time.

I realized this tendency to get depressed. I’d never want to have that if I would lose the creative gift that came with it. It’s part of an overactive brain. I wouldn’t call it real depression. I don’t know the word for it.

The mood darkens. I get a darkening mood, and I want to get out of it more. Marcus Aurelius. Marcus Aurelius says, your only focus should be on getting better what you’re doing. Focus on what you’re doing, get better what you’re doing.

Everything else is a complete waste of time. So I have this movie coming out. I’m so excited to read the worst reviews unfrosted out Friday. I put out another sub stack yesterday, this one titled one star reviews. The Substack is free.

Link in the show notes the nature of the substack platform. They might ask you to pay for it. Don’t pay for it, just click the free subscription. I’m not charging for that at all. Unless you gotten exttion a million dollars.

Then if you want to tip, make fine or just you know, buy me two hundred thousand iced coffees. But if you do that, please send over a refrigerator, because I’ll have to put them somewhere. We’ve got subscriptions up and running. Four ninety nine gets you all the shows on the platform commercial free, as I’ve explained a few times, and I’ll stop doing this soon. I can’t publish the commercial free version until the commercial leaden version is out there on Apple Podcasts.

This show goes out of three h five am Eastern. When I got up in the morning, I flip open the laptop and I upload the commercial free version. On Monday, it was up at seven fifty am. All right, So if you’re up between like three and eight am, I don’t have a solution yet. I wish I did.

I’m trying to figure this out, but I can’t. After like eight am, you should be able to get the newest episode commercial free, and the archives will be commercial free. Russell Brand announced that he was getting baptized this Sunday. I’m taking the plunge. I’m getting baptized.

Like it says in Galatians, you can live as an enlightened and awakened person. Chelsea Handler wants to support the WNBA her plan to boost TV viewership. She’s going to go topless at court side. We’ll see if she actually does this. She was on Twitter where she shared her plan and said how to keep the Caitlin Clark effect going?

You know, Chelsea Handler used to date Joe Coy. That’s it. That’s just my complete thought. I don’t know what you thought was gonna happen there. She used to date Joekoi from the Sydney Comedy Festival.

Ben Hunter’s show is I will refund your ticket in ten years, I promise. I’m going to have to interrupt a few times here, right, So the first joke here, he’s holding up a drawing of coins. He has like impressions. I’ve been working on some impressions. Is okay if I show you some of them.

This is an impression of some coins. This is an impression of my credit card. Okay, another drawing. This is an impression of my nipple. This is an impression of my other nipple.

That time the second nipple is larger and same idea for the rest of the bid. Here. This is an impression of my mom. It’s nice. This is an impression of my dad.

Come to the tip with me. Thanks guys. This is an impression of the other side of the coins from before. I just flipped the mofa kind of fun, pretty visual. Sydney’s not like Melbourne.

There are a lot fewer clips for me to share. I’ve really had a dive on all these Steen rascopolos. His show is called Friendly Stranger. I like the description friendly Stranger. I thought Stein brought the show to Sydney last year.

Yeah, but it was sold out. You couldn’t get a ticket. And so he’s back again with an updated and even better version. A stranger is a new friend you haven’t met yet. It could be a dog on the street, a curist, baby, or a performer who warmly invites you on stage.

So this is another visual clip. Again, this is what’s available, but this is really funny. I’ve shared it in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News podcast group. The gimmick here is he brings people up and has them stand in picture frames, so the people from the audience are the artwork and they have to act out the narration that you’re about to hear. Very funny but as visual.

In the clip, you’re about to hear the narration is about a father and a son, but it’s actually a father and a daughter, and Steen made sure that they’re on the wrong side to make the narration funnier. Hello, and welcome to the Museum of Pretense Art. The first artwork you see is a painting by Australian artist Gareth Tinney entitled Fisherman and his Son. Oh. You see an old fisherman casting his rod with his right hand whilst lovingly swinging his left arm around his son’s neck.

The sun is holding fish and smiling. It’s a very, very exaggerated smile. Some art experts believe if you look at the painting from left to right, oh, it can actually be interpreted as a hostage situation. Wow. Again.

It’s in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News podcast group. Give it a listen and that is your company news for today. If you’d like the show ad free, push that subscription button on Apple Podcast. I explained that earlier. See you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Happy birthday. Jerry Seinfeld is seventy today. We’ll get to that. It was the White House Correspondent’s dinner.

Jerry was not there. Colin Jost was your host. Let’s listen to some of his monologue. His delivery was quite deliberate, so I have edited this for pacing. I didn’t know you were going to show up photos with me from high school.

Yes, yeah, it’s not really fair. You can’t do it for President Biden because the technology wasn’t invented when he was in high school. It’s not really fair. Good evening, everyone. I’m Colin Jost, and I’ll be delivering the Republican response.

I’ll be honest with you. I don’t have a lot of time. I need to get back to New York because i’m jur number five on a big trial. Trump’s lawyer took one look at me and he’s like, he’s gotta be on our side. Thank you Kelly for that very kind introduction.

Mister President, doctor Biden, Vice President Harris Doug Doug. As you can tell from all the comments about my wife, I’m also used to being the second gentleman, and I am honored to be here hosting what is, according to swing state polls, the final White House Correspondence dinner. I hope that tonight will be a night to remember for most of us. I was excited to be up here on stage with President Biden to night, mostly to see if I could figure out where Obama was pulling the strings from. I have to admit it’s not easy following President Biden.

I mean, it’s not always easy following what he’s saying. Like Jost, also mark the age of both candidates. This is a good one. I’m not saying both candidates are old, but you know, Jimmy Carter’s out there thinking I could maybe win this thing. That’s great, Jost again, can we acknowledge how refreshing it is to see a president of the United States an event that doesn’t begin with a bailiff saying all rise, that’s awesome.

Trump ignored the dinner for the most part on social media. After one am, he jumped on truth social and wrote, the White House Correspondence dinner was really bad. Colin Joe’s bombed and Cricket Joe was an absolute disaster. Doesn’t get much worse than this, Oh, it does get much worse. Than this.

Let’s listen to Matt Friend. Matt’s been in the news lately. His Trump is okay, but I can think of at least three people who do a better Trump. They are Shane Gillis, James Adomian, and James Austin Johnson, all much better. I’m gonna let Friend go a little bit here.

Tough for him, to be sure, but the material is not great. I’ll let this roll until he gets to the joke that’s being picked up on the news. I’ve also scoped this down for pacing and just pain. I mean, this set is so rough. Jim Gaffigan is like, can I come in and save this by hawking subourbon?

All right, so third day in a row. I’m gonna tell you you might want to hit thirty seconds skip twice. Matt Friend bombed. Let’s listen. I will tell you it is really a tremendous opportunity to be at the most failed dinner anybody’s ever seen.

Great to see you, losers. A lot of people say that, Hello everybody, why is it so quiet? What’s happening? It’s quieter than sleepy Joe? Hello Joe, how are you great?

To see you? We’re going to debate, right, that’s what they’re saying. There’s a lot of stars here. There’s a lot of great people. There’s Scarlett Johannesburg.

Scarlett is here from Black Widow. I love the blacks, I really love the blacks. It’s true. You have a lot of people that could potentially be a vice president. You have Lara Trump, who’s a lot better than Rona McDonald.

Who does it? Love Rona McDonald? Right, I’m loving it. You like a happy meal, right, you like that, Bob. I will tell you this.

You’re so tight, it’s so uptight. Right, This dinner is sadder than Taylor Swift’s new album, The Tortured President’s Department. Right, you look at him, the white tuxio. It doesn’t like me too much. Right, But I will tell you the Chinese apps are being banned.

It’s horrible. We have to post our David Pecker’s on Snapchat. Now, that’s what they’re saying. Let’s face it, folks, I’m on fire right now, like the guy outside the courthouse. Right, not soon enough, not soon enough.

But I will tell you I am killing this dinner harder than Christy Nome kills the puppies.

Moving on place, the President himself did some stand up.

Here’s Joe the twenty twenty four elections in full, sweet and yes, age is an issue. I’m a grown man running against a six year old. Joe had more. He said, I’ve had a great stretch since the State of the Union, but Donald does that a few rough days lately. You might call it stormy weather.

I see what you did there, Joe. You know who else was there, Joe Koy. Yeah, it was weird. It was all of a sudden, Joe KOI got up there and he told this just horrible, mean joke about Skyrol Swift. It didn’t make any sense at all in the middle of the White House correspondents dinner.

But here’s Joe. We have fewer camera shots at Taylor Swift. Jerry Sidfeld is seventy today. Happy birthday, Jerry. That makes me feel a million years old.

But I’m like a one hundred thousand years old now, so I guess it makes sense. Jerry, when he was on the Today Show recently, was asked about his birthday and he said, I don’t really have any interest in it now. What it is, boy, I could really live a lot less stuff things people activities. I’m not doing nothing anymore. In case you missed it, Jerry’s out promoting pop Tarts movie Unfrosted.

I finally learned the title of it. He’s directing it or he did direct it directing. Yeah, somebody’s got to tell these people what to do. They asked him, do you want to do it? Or should we get someone else to do it?

And he said, I’ll tell them. Big article in Variety titled stand up comedian Tony hingecliff on defending Matt Rife, the Killed Tony Podcast and never apologizing after using a racial slur back in twenty twenty one, Hinchcliffe tells Variety, when you step into a dark, dingy comedy club, what do you want to see? Think about it like a strip club. Do you want to see girls in a dress? Or do you want to see nasty things?

You want ping pong balls flying at your head? Thanks for that image from the Variety profile. Moving to La in two thousand and seven, Hinchcliffe made a name for himself a clubs for insulting both the audience and other comics and being willing to broach any topic. He began opening for comics like Joe Rogan and Jeff Ross. In twenty thirteen, he launched the wonderful podcast Kill Tony.

If you’ve never checked out Kill Tony, I like listening to it. There’s a video version as well. I kind of like listening to it. It’s the theater of the Mind of It. With co host Brian Redman.

The podcast is fame for its bucket of destiny, giving aspiring and season comedians a shot at performing a stand up set for sixty seconds. Receiving feedback from the judges. It is a wonderful podcast. In May twenty twenty one, Hingecliff got into a little kerfluffle right. He says, a racial slur heroled that fellow comedian in Asian American Pang Dang during a gig in Austin catapulted him into a world win of backlash.

The incident, caught on video and put on social media, resulted in Hinchcliffe being dropped by his agency. Tony says number one rule is never apologize. He’s leaned into it even more. In October twenty twenty three, he went on a podcast called Triggernometry and made some light comedic accusations, calling Dang a Chinese spy, further describing the incident as an orchestrated attack by the Chinese media. Dang has responded saying I thought most spuys gathered classified information related to science, technology, or government affairs.

Why would any country said a spy to be a stand up comedian? What kind of intelligence would I get from doing comedy? Asked him about Netflix is a joke. The big festival that starts this week, Tony said, I’m looking forward to being the Netflix outlier. We surprise the industry when we put our tickets on sale for the YouTube theater and they sold out in a couple hours.

Comedians are watching comedians do comedy on Kill Tony, I’m using a pro wrestling model. Anything can happen, and it’s ridiculously exciting. You could watch someone’s entire life change in front of your eyes. Everybody that we pull out of that bucket has a chance. Yeah.

It is a fantastic podcast. Even me reading this to you today is encouraging me to catch up on it. I’m so so way behind them on podcast so a lot of times I’ll listen to pods as I’m drifting off to sleep, and I noticed it this week. I’m listening to things like three minutes at a time. I’ve been enjoying Joe Rogan talking to the guy that’s trying to convince us that the moon landing wasn’t real.

As I’ve explained before, I like listening to Rogan as I drift off because if there’s no yelling, there’s no shouting, it’s calm and concurrently to that, I can believe in the moon landing. Variety reports that Bow and Yang will start in a remake of The Wedding banquety nineteen ninety three rom com Ellen Degenerous has complained that she’s been kicked out of show business for being mean. This part of her comedy tour. Ellen is a pretty good stand up for at least was thirty years ago, so she’s back. Ellen said, I became this one dimensional character who gave stuff away and danced up steps.

Do you know how hard it is to dance up steps? What a mean person dance up steps? Had I ended my show by saying, go f yourself, people would have been presently surprised. She reminds people she’s been kicked out of entertainment before, when she came out as gay in the nineties and joked, eventually it kicked me out for a third time because I mean old and gay. Ellen says, I hated the way that the show ended.

I love that show so much, and I just hated that the last time people would see me is in that way. Ellen’s last stand Dot Dot Dot Up Tour will eventually be a Netflix special. That’s cool, She’ll tape that in the fall. Netflix is building excitement for Beverly Hills Cop four, which is what we’re all gonna call it, even if they call it Beverly Hills Cop Colon axel F. There’s a new promo.

It features NFL quarterback Jared Golf sharing insights he gained from the character axel Fully. That sounds so lame. Actually, I tried to pull the clip. It actually was so lame. You would kind of hope Jim Gaffigan would show up and start hawking bourbon.

In Beverly Hills Cop four aka Beverly Hills Cop Colon axel F, Eddie Murphy is axel Fully, who returns to California after a long hiatus when his daughter fases a threat. Fully is pulled back into the world of crime solving. Returning to Beverly Hills to investigate the mysterious death of a close friend. The Sydney Comedy Festival A little light early in the week. Tonight It’s the Sydney Comedy Festival Showcase, a secret lineup promising to bring the very finest comics from Australia and beyond, boasting both household names and the next gen of comedy superstars.

Let me tell you about Taylor Swift. No, no, not her, Taylor Jswift. This from people. This Taylor Swift first learned of the singer when he was fifteen. He said, at first, I thought it was no big deal.

She’s a singer with a hit song or two. This won’t impact me. But I was wrong. As time continued, I started to find it frustrating. I was just a kid trying to live my life and now is sharing a name with a big singer.

Additionally, I just moved back to Ohio with my dad, so as the new kid at school with the name Taylor Swift. To top it off, I had ad Justin Bieber haircut, eyed glasses, and I was on the debate team. It was not a fun time. He contemplated going by TJ in abbreviation of his first middle name. But this Taylor Swift eventually realized I was given this name for a reason, and I’m gonna grow and become whom I meant to become with it.

Now, what’s weird is Joe Coy made a joke about Taylor J. Swift’s I don’t know why he did this. It’s so random that Joe Coy would make fun of some dude in Ohio. And it’s a little bit mean. Let’s listen, big difference between the Golden Gloves and the NFL.

On the Golden Gloves, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift. Some of you are laughing right now, and some of you wanna throw pies in my direction. It’s fun. Come on, it’s a fun joke, Taylor J. Swift says.

When I do interviews with the press, I asked them to please quote me as Taylor J. Swift, so no one confuses me with the pop singer. Don’t worry about it. We can tell the difference that way. No one wonders why Taylor Swift is speaking on congressional modernization and oversight.

I also include the JA on my business cards or when applying to jobs to avoid confusion. Again here at Starbucks, we didn’t think Taylor Swift was applying to be a barista jay. For example, this past weekend, I booked a reservation for two under the name Taylor Swift. I could tel a. Hosts seemed a bit disappointed when I showed up like normal.

They joked about how it was in the real tailor Swift. So I just laughed and said, I hear it all the time, but I just shake it off. Taylor J. Swift is actually funnier than Jim gaffickan hawking bourbon. We don’t do that here at Father Time.

And that is your comedy news for today. Check out the Ballot podcast. A lot going on White House Correspondence Dinner. There’s this whole trial thing, so check that out. We’re putting that out every day.

And if you want the episodes add free click the subscriptions option. There has it been explaining The regular show goes live at three h five am Eastern and then you get the ad free version available in the feed. When I get up and load it, I can’t load it in advance. It’s annoying. It’s made of my existence.

And then everything heading backwards will be commercial free and the other show’s on the network commercial free. Like, if you want mid ballot commercial free, do the subscription thing five dollars a month. It’s like buying me a coffee, except you had all these and free podcasts. Isn’t that amazing? Yes it is.

See tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Shinny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. We went to Medieval Times last night and we just had so much fun. You got to get your medieval on. Hang out with the Knights.

We were on team Yellow and Red Knight. He got his butt kicked and at one point I went over to my daughter because everybody was doing these accents, and I said, have you heard of the famous actor Matthew Berry, because everybody’s doing that, like welcome the Queen. Welcome you to Daily Comedy News. Anyway, Ricky Gervais has taken over a prominent billboard in Slow that is the setting of his version of the Office. I saw somebody online complaining that they’re rebooting the Office.

I hate to tell you anyway, Ricky Gervais has a billboard. He’s promoting his brand, a Dutch born Orchard vodka. His advertisement encourages consumers to buy dutchborn an Orchard vodka to make a person rich and happy with the caveat being the person is Ricky Gervais. That’s how you do it.

Meanwhile, get your thumb out, be ready to hit thirty seconds skip again.

I played you that. Jim Gaffigan clip yesterday, Jim intervention coming man, the coolness is just oozing out of you. Let’s go back to the Today Show and again, I’m a journalist. I’m a journalist. I don’t want to lose you, guys.

I don’t want you to be like I can’t listen to this podcast with these terrible clips. But as a journalist, I’m not a journalists. I have to play this clip for you. So please hit thirty second skip at least twice, because I don’t want to submit you to all the coolness oozing out of Jim Gaffigan as he sells his bourbon on the Today Show. This is just awful.

You’re ready? Skip skip? Are you still here? Okay? This is on you.

I try to warn you. Here’s Jim Gaffigan. So what makes what makes it well? The thing is is we’re talking about this. I was approached, you know, to do a celebrity spirits a couple times, but I was worried because I didn’t want to do something bad.

So I called a good friend of mine, a college friend who’s from Louisville, and I said, could I just buy a couple of barrels? You could help me and we’ll we’ll mix our own and it’ll be good. But there’s not going to be a big payday. There’s only a limited amount. But I love this, Jim.

I’m here for this new chapter in your life. While you pour that out at hand them, we’re going to tell people that Unfrosted is going to be released on Netflix next Friday. I cannot wait to try this. This is great. This has helped with this?

Does this? Does this helps you forget that you have children? I have three, So thank you Father’s Day guys. Sure, here we go. And these are these are quote glasses parenting quote class that you know what you know what it’s like having a fifth kid.

Imagine you’re drowning, then someone hands you a baby? You so very nice? What you think? What do you think? I like this a lot, coming surprise.

I was terrified when I tried it. I was like, oh my god, what if it’s not good? Well, this is good. This is very good. And I don’t even really like bourbon.

This is great. Shop Today’s coming up next, Jim Man. I mean the way that comes to mind ribes with sneezes, like what are you doing? I heard from Caitlin who sent me a note through the new substack. I’m doing a substack.

It’s for free. The link is in the show notes I write about media. Last week I was very chatty and wrote a lot. I’ve got a good piece on Monday about one star reviews coming up. So if you want to subscribe to the substack, it’s free.

Even if it tries to heat up for money, do the free trial. Not charging for that one. Caitlin was wondering what happened to George Lopez tacos. Now. Every now and then, when it’s a slow newsday, and today is not a slow newsday, I just feel like talking about George Lopez tacos.

I will throw that phrase into Google just to see what’s happening. And there’s been a whole lot of nothing. I’ll do it right now now. There’s nothing since June of twenty twenty one when we were told George Lopez Tacos arrive in Denver.

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And also from June of twenty one, George Lopez’s taco joint was now serving e…

I haven’t seen anything since, but if I go to next Bite here, it does offer me George Lopez tacos. I’m clicking on it live as we click. Got in preset this because I wanted to experience it with you. George Lopez Tacos an authentic, bad ass street taco experience exclamation point, softer tea is tender meats, flavorable toppings and sausas. Now, if you’re not familiar with this bit, during the pandemic, things got a little slow with the comedy, and George Lopez Tacos was the Taylor Swift Joe Koy joke of its day.

The menu for George Lopez Tacos lachingono, which is three street tacos served with a massa corn to tea is on the side. For customizable experience, you could get a La mas cabrono, which is three street tacos with the addition of krama and saute bell peppers and onions, also served with authentic masa corn tootias. You get the idea here, All right, let’s click. Let’s see if we can still order visit the restaurant website. Click Lopez Tacos is loading and a site has come up, and the site seems to be in some sort of Asian language tie Vietnamese.

What is going on? George Lopez let me try this again. We try it in Chrome, maybe I’ll get a different experience. I don’t know what’s going on there. Paste and go to Lopez Tacos dot com.

No, it’s still coming up in a weird language, but Google Translate will trans Oh, it’s tie all right. For some reason, this website’s in Thie and I can translate it to English according to Google Translate. And the article says the form of protection that should be available car insurance interesting driving on today’s roads. No matter how caution or precaution, the driver has to prevent accidents or unexpected events. Even though it is a good thing, there is still a chance that it may cause an accident or unexpected event.

Dreams can occur as usual because they may come from Fred’s on the road or events that you cannot control. Therefore, today, in order to add protection for living on the road for all insured persons, you can come to get to know and choose to buy insurance with mister Kumka. And that is what happens if you go to Lopez Tacos and dude, there’s still a logo that says Lopez Tacos across the top home about food beverage, insurance, lifestyle. This is why I’ll preread articles. What happens if you click on food.

Okay, I’m on the food page now. In the top article is a versatile microwave that you could have at home. Microwave is one of the kitchen appliances that every house can’t live without because it is an aid to facilitate your food and drink quickly and easily, whether it’s recipes, various menus, boiling hot water, tea or coffee, boiled eggs, warm food, instant food, instant food, instant noodles, cooking, et cetera. No, I didn’t make a mistake there. It’s at instant food twice.

Today, let’s take a deep look at the benefits of mirowave. In case any house is as sited to buy it, will take it. Who helped decide capital t the benefits of the microwave make oranges or lemons have more water. If bringing lemons or oranges to warm in the microwave, leave for ten to twenty seconds before squeezing them, we’ll make more orange juice than lemon juice because warming or lemon will make the interlining soft. So Caitlin, that’s what’s happening with George Lopez Tacos.

Caitlin also has encouraged me to stick to my guns about the very, very hilarious Joe Koy joke. Now, I don’t know if you’re familiar with this. Joe Cooy earlier this year hosted the Golden Globes. Yeah he did, and you know what happened to the Golden Globes. He made a joke about Taylor Swift.

It was so mean. I mean, there might be some new audience that didn’t listen this week and they need to know what this joke was. But Joe Coy made this horrible, mean joke about Taylor Swift. Let’s listen. The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL.

On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camber shots of Taylor Swift. My so far, this podcast has been so much about nothing. Jerry Seinfeld would appreciate it.

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Speaking of Taylor Swift, Travis Kelsey chose the wrong day to go without und…

This from People. Andrew Santino was a guest on New Heights and recalled on the events. Santino says, we set up my podcast at the crib because we were moving and so it was a kind of a tight squeeze and the cameras and the angles all the stuff. And my editor calls me and he’s like, bro, I know I tell you this, but Travis was falling out of his shorts. His boys were sliding out.

Santino says, I was like, oh no, and he goes, do you want to like call him and reshoot it? And I said, just put a chief’s logo over his package whenever it falls out. I mean, Travis is his boys wanted to make an appearance on Whiskey Ginger, Santino joked, and the footage is available on our Patreon. Bill Burr spoke to The Today’s Show about how his TV viewing habits have changed since having kids. Burst said, I used to watch, you know, one o’clock game, four o’clock game, then a late game, and then with the package, I’d be taping other games.

And you already had a Monday night and he had a Thursday night. So I’d have a Tuesday and a Wednesday game and a Friday game to watch during the week I’d recorded, and then on Saturday, I’d watch college football. Now I have kids, I don’t know. I’m always watching Bluey. I’m hearing great things about this blue I’ve not watched it yet, which is oddly, you know, really deep, that’s what I’m hearing.

What are we doing here? I’m getting misty eyed watching a cartoon telling you we had a lot of fun at Medieval Times. Everybody with Matthew Berry impressions. If you enjoy this program, you might want to go to buy me a Coffee dot com. That’s terrible, but that’s what Medieval Times was.

The queen is so bad, you might want to buy me a coffee at buy Me a Coffee dot com Slash Daily Comedy News. Sydney Comedy Festival on Monday. There’s only two shows and I looked I couldn’t find any actual clips. One of the two shows, Jillian Cosgriff’s show, is called Actually Good Jillian one most Outstanding show at the twenty twenty three Melbourne International Comedy Festival. The show is about the little things that make the big hord things manageable and pointing out the bits of the world that make you yell wow, isn’t this great?

Now? Do you have a dirty mind like I do? I’m not gonna go back, you hit thirty second, rewind and you’ll see if you pick it up. Otherwise, I’m just a perf. The Scotsman gave it five stars, saying actually good is more than a comedy show.

It’s a tiny revolution in how to view the world. Chortal five stars, a joyous, funny, life affirming show. The Age only four and a half stars, but they did call it an incredibly affirming and funny show. Leanne Morgan with a really great deal. Netflix gave her a sixteen episode straight to series order.

The guy behind us is Chuck Lorie. If you don’t know who that is, He’s behind all the big CBS sitcoms like Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men and whatever the Sebastian Manascalco Bookie show was called. I think it’s called Bookie. That one was pretty good too. In untitled comedy, Leanne Morgan’s life takes an unexpected turn when her husband of thirty three years leaves her for another woman.

Starting over when you’re a grandmother and in menopause isn’t exactly what she had in mind. With the help of her family, she will navigate the new chapter with grace, a dignity, and jello salad. Sean Jordan will release a comedy album called Girl Dad on Sunday, May twelfth. I believe that’s Mother’s Day. Sean recorded it at Mississippi Studio, is in importantly Oregon.

It’s a very personal set surrounding the birth of his daughter, including the IVF that preceded it, the vissectomy that followed, and all points in between. The press release also says ask him for parenting tips anytime. All right, little housekeeping here. We’re doing the subscriptions now. Saturday morning.

The dog end me up early, so I was able to post the commercial free episode by like six thirty am Eastern. Anyway, if you’re on Apple Podcast, you’ll see subscriptions there a thirty day free trial, and then four ninety nine a month you’ll get the show’s commercial free asterisk. I’ll talk about that in a second. And you get all the shows on the network. We’re posting all of them.

The catch and the asterisk is there’s no way to preload it, which is really frustrating. So I post this show at three or five am Eastern, and then when I get up, I’ll upload the commercial free version of Daily Comedy News, like I said Saturday was around six thirty in the morning. Friday slept little later. It didn’t get to around eight. If you’re on the West coast, it probably won’t affect you at all.

If you’re on the East Coast and you’re like, man, I gotta have Daily Comedy News before eight am, well then I wish Apple would changed the back end, but it’s not how it works. Anyway. Try that out thirty Day Free tro if you want to test drive that also Ballot. That’s the show where politics meets pop culture. So much to talk about White House Correspondence Dinner.

I’ll talk about that tomorrow, but Ballot will have it on Sunday morning for you. This whole thing with the governor and the puppy, I don’t even want to go there. That’s not funny at all. But if you heard that that’s going on. Biden was on Howard Stern weird pick.

I mean thirty years ago, sure, but in the twenties Howard Stern really o hey anyway, see tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Hunni Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Kanye West apparently re entering the world of film. This from Jimmy Kimmel, specifically the world of pornographic film. Jimmy says, that’s the kind of business genius he is.

You know what, the Internet could use some porn. Ronny Chieng and I are aligned. He was talking about the Biden administration’s new rules, which require cash refunds for air travelers subjected to everything from canceled flights to non working WiFi. Ronnie said, this is the greatest thing the government has ever done in history. Thank you, Joe Biden.

Thank you for making my life better. Now, just bring back Roe v Wades. I don’t have to sit next to a crying baby on the Red Eye. Just did that two weeks ago, so that touched a nerve there with me. There was another kerf fluffle on after midnight.

The guest Gillian Jacobs. You know her from community. She greeted the crowd, explaining how to pronounce her name. She said, yes, I’m Gillian Jacobs. That’s hard g soft j.

But the vibe is just right. Okay, I’ll read that to you again in a second after I tell you to set up here. So, something weird happened with the close captions. I saw the clip, so Gillian says, yes, I’m Gillian Jacobs, that’s hard G soft J. But the vibe is just right.

But the caption’s added the phrase, I’ll have to read it again just so I could do it in context. The caption version said, yes, I’m Gillian Jacobs, that’s hard G soft J. But the vibe is just right. I’m masturbating. What okay?

Colin Joe So the White House correspondent Dinner tonight, eight o’clock c SPAN. He’s saying, oh, on Saturday night, to watch this thing. I will recap it for you on Monday. I did see a list of who is invited on the different press pools. Some interesting notes.

ABC News correspondent Rosario Dawson. CBS has invited Sidiqua, Martin Green, and Wilson Cruz. They’re from that horrible Star Trek Discovery. John Hamm and his wife are going for CBS News. How does this work?

CNN Rachel Brosnahan Deadline invited Kerry Russell. NBC invited Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, Colin Joe says your host. Tonight, he did an interview with NBC and talked about when he does the joke swaps with Michael Jay. Joe said, it’s kind of crazy. There’s not a lot of live TV in the world anymore.

So the idea that you’re on live TV and you have to say something that you don’t know what it is, that’s pretty crazy and it’s usually not gentle. I’m someone who can really be in my head a lot of times, and it definitely gets you out of your head. I really like that. Joe just also wanted to clear up that he’s not planning on leaving Saturday Night Live. He said, I don’t have a real timeline.

I mean I started a potentially psychologically brace for the concept of leaving, which I really hadn’t done. I don’t know. Certainly, quarantine makes you appreciate having any job, and I very much appreciate having friends you get to work with and enjoy seeing. He says he’s in no rush to leave. Colin, Your fairy is a disaster.

You got a steady gig, go talk to Keenan sit at that desk for another twenty years. Steady work is a good thing. Jerry Seinfeld turns seventy on Monday, so that makes me think they’ll problem probably be like a big time celebrity birthday party, right, and it’s going to be Jerry in his pals so to be Jim gaff again. Amy Schumer is going to be at that thing, right. Yeah.

A lot of Jerry press coming up the next week. That Poptearts movie is out on Friday. I’ve already got stories squirreled away. So if you like Jerry Seinfeld, you’re gonna like this podcast. G Q said, Jerry, you’ve talked about how stand up is about power, standing on stage alone, demanding the people listen and have a physical reaction.

How did the power of being a director compare? See a little trick there. I didn’t think we were going there with that question, Jerry said. Being a director feels like running a ranch in the West. It’s kind of a mess.

You’ve got horses and cattle and chickens and broken fences and filth. You’ve got a lot of people and a lot of physical things. Stand up is a pure experience. That’s why I’m so addicted to it. The only other thing in life that I truly idolize is surfing.

I watch a lot of Instagram surfing videos, and when somebody catches a great wave and they’re just sliding down, it just hypnotizes me. That’s how it feels when you’re having a good set, like you’ve caught this gigantic energy and are just sliding down it. There’s nothing pure in making a movie flow. It’s highly complex and messy. We’re all wondering, does Jerry Seinfeld surf?

No? I tried. I did it for about a week twenty years ago. You have to dedicate yourself to these great things. I don’t believe in being good at a lot of things, or even more than one, but I love to watch it.

I think if I get a chance to be a human again, I would do just that. You wake up in the morning and you paddle out, you make whatever little money in each five That seems like the greatest life to me. They asked Jerry about the Midwestern vibe in the upcoming pop Tarts movie What’s an Unfrosted? I can’t remember that. I just keep calling it pop Tarts.

They asked him, what was the Midwest like to you? Jerry said, hilarious, John Updike had of the greatest line, new Yorkers think anyone who doesn’t live in New York is in some sense kidding. That was me. It felt like, let me go to this place and show them what we’re like, and they’ll pay to see that. And I still feel like that’s what I do.

Let me show you what a New York is like. I think you’ll find it interesting. Good follow up here about Seinfeld, GQ said, that’s what I think of as the Seinfeld paradox. It’s so specifically New York and so specifically Jewish, and yet there’s a station where I live in New Orleans that, as far as I could tell, only play. Seinfeld twenty four to seven said, let me solve the mystery for you.

It’s Jason Alexander, Julia, Louis Dreyfus, and Michael Richards. Those three people transform this very small, idiosyncratic thing which should have always been small a niche. They made this unrelatable material accessible. There’s no other way it would have happened. Follow up.

Didn’t you feel like you were part of it? Jerry said, I was part of it, but I wasn’t on their level. I did what I could to help. All Right, So I want to cover this, but I also don’t want to lose the audience. Jim Gaffigan on The Today Show, Hawking is Bourbon.

I’ve spoken about this quite loudly. We have to do an intervention for Jim Gaffigan. So as a journalist, I’m not a journalist. As a journalist, I need to cover this, but I don’t want to lose the audience. So here’s what I want you to do.

I want you to take out your phone and hit thirty seconds skip twice so you don’t have to sit through this clip. Okay, you’ve been warned. Don’t delete the podcast and be like this podcast sucks. I’m telling you. I know that the next minute sucks, but I have to as a journalist.

I’m not a journalist. I have to play this clip for you so you can experience. Jim Gaffigan on The Today Show. All Right, last warning skip skip all right, this is on you. You’re still here if you’re hearing my voice or now you didn’t hit thirty seconds skip.

I tried to warn you. Father time Bourbon. Father time. Well, you know, since it is bring your child to work, I thought that I would bring in my baby. I don’t know if they have.

If we have it out here, we go, yes, this is, this is it’s it’s I think it’s a beautiful bottle. And it’s called father Time. And so oh, I said father time. It’s father time. It’s father time.

So it’s not the guy with the beard. It’s about this time that a father, like the tagline a father, it’s called a father’s joy is earned because being a father is thankless. And by the way, I do believe that the mom is the heroine. Anyway, I’m going to sign this because each bottle is signed, and I’m going to charge you guys for this bottle. Anyway, Oh my good, this chim I just feel the coolness just oozing out of you.

Every time you listen, you talk about the bourbon. That’s only half the clip. I will play another minute of that clip tomorrow. David Spain and Dana Carvey have some thoughts about the upcoming Chris Farley biopic. Spade said, I’m a little ambivalent about it.

I don’t know. I heard some whispers about this for a long time. I’ve run into this guy Paul Apparently that’s actor Paul Walter Hauser, who’s going to star as Chris Farley. He’s a nice guy. I think he’s wanted me to do this for a while.

Carvey said, in all seriousness, I wish How’s are the best. But he says it’s hard to portray someone like Farley. It’s one off and charisma. It’s very hard to get used to it in a film. Even the last Elvis movie Austin Butler did incredible, but you never reach Elvis.

It’s impossible what it was the best. I’ve seen the same thing with Will Smith when he played Muhammad Ali. He was absolutely fantastic, But the whole time you’re going, but you can’t do Muhammad Ali. Spade said, I wish him well. Like you said, it’s hard to capture the highs and lows and the greatness and just the pure likability and the innocence and everything that was great about Chris Farley.

Carvey says, Chris had so many sub rhythms. There’s a meal to be had there. Matt Friend, you might know his impressions of Donald Trump, which is okay, Howard Stern which is really good, and I have not heard his Mitch McConnell. He’s getting a podcast on Bill Maher’s network. It’s called Friend in High Places.

Friend aims to be the intersection of mar Graham Norton, Jimmy Fallon, and Sean Evans of Hot Ones. He tells Variety, there will be politics, but it’s gonna be lighter. There’ll be a variety showcase element to it, where I might do a topical sketch or comment on something in the news. I misspoke, it didn’t edit. I said tropical sketch.

I don’t know what a tropical sketch is, but I’d watch it. But at the same time, I’m going to be having longer conversations with actors and athletes and politicians. Blah blah blah. Let’s see what’s happening in Sydney. Lara recoats A show is called Little Tiny Wet Show Baptism, a surreal, partially interactive, dark like Silly Dark, not Edgeloord, dark and moving comedy show about what it’s like to live, what it means to care for somebody for you always leave them.

Comedian Ashley Freeze has released an album co written with Ai. The album is called Monkey. Paul Cowboy actually said, once I started playing with the tool and seeing what it could do. I think the album was inevitable. Ashley wrote the lyrics to all the songs, which are in the style of country music.

He says, I’ve never particularly been into country music, but it’s clear that this is a good genre for comedy songs. Let’s listen. The following tracks are written by and all persons depicted are entirely fictional. And while the lyrics tried a mimics songs and singers quite ut comic. The whole thing’s just a party trick out electronic and Jack Whitehall is continuing to go at it with Prince William.

I told you I think yesterday Prince William did a knock knock joke and said it was like Jack Whitehall material. Whitehall released an Instagram video of Prince William telling the joke. I’m going to share the audio. Whitehall doesn’t speak during the a video, but he is making faces at the camera and at the end he takes notes. But here is Prince William.

I am here with the character talking about mailing my health and I’ve been asked to produce a dad joke, so I’m kind of trying to channel Jack Whitehall as the best of it. Jokes are pretty Badlike, that’s fine. I think what I’ll do is, I’m going to say a joke that has Shotlet’s favorite joke at the moment that she keeps telling me. I’ll do that instead, but you’re going to have to interact me. It’s not a joke I can tell straight away, not a lot interrupting caroten.

No, that’s that’s the Great’s what I can pick up the screen and broadcast as all Nature Comedy News for today. If you enjoy our content and want to access our commercial free archives, become a subscriber. An Apple podcast is four ninety nine the US dollars per month. You can start with a free thirty day trial. I see a bunch of people doing that already.

Again, I don’t want to over promise expl this. Yesterday. The Normal Show goes live at three five a m. Eastern. The ad free version of the newest episode.

I have to post manually when I get up in the morning. I can’t preload. It drives me nuts, believe me. Sal On Friday, I slept in a little and I went out coffee. It didn’t get up to like eight oh five, but all the archives will be there and all the other shows on the network.

We’re working on it, so that’s four ninety nine. If you want to test drive it thirty day free trial, give it a shot. Or if you prefer to sport podcast using the value for value model, you can stream SATs my Way using the Fountain app or podcast Gurgu or True Fans, or just keep following the show for free like you’ve been doing on Apple, Podcast, Spotify, wherever you get your shows. See you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Johnnie Mack with your Daily Comedy News. I have like a normal head cold, like an old fashioned prehistoric head coold. It’s not COVID. It’s just the sniffles.

It’s weird. I haven’t had one in the twenty twenties. Uh. Hi. The Green Bay Press Cazette, your home for comedy news.

They have a question for you. Have you heard the one about the legendary comedian who walks in a local comic book store on a Saturday afternoon. Turns out it’s Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry was out and about before show last weekend. David Powers owns Powers Comics.

He said, was totally out of the blue. I actually liked that it was out of the blue. He just showed up like a normal customer does, just walk in. But David was doing well, and then he tried too hard, and he said, I was a little disappointed he didn’t have his puffy shirt on. David, you tried too hard there to be funny and you missed.

One of the employees at the comic shop is also named Jerry. Owner David Powers went over to help, but Mountain said, Jerry, meet Jerry Powers says, that’s my favorite part of the entire visit because he did as Seinfeld as him. Seinfeld said, well, I’m a comic looking for a comic. Jerry apparently said that with that smirk that he has. It was beautiful.

Jerry was looking for a Superman comic book from the nineteen sixties. Powers knew right away which one Jerry meant, but Powers didn’t have it. Jerry Seinfeld spent about twenty minutes browsing. It was clear that it was not his first time in a comic book store because he knew to flip through the back issues of some of the older stuff. Powers said, the really neat part about me is that Jerry Seinfeld is worth like a billion dollars.

He could easily order any comic book he wants, even the most expensive one in the world, without a problem. He could have ordered that on eBay. A lot of the true collectors don’t want to go do that. They want to dig. Missus Powers tried to convince mister Powers to get a photo with Jerry, but he said, I’m not going to do that.

I’m not going to be that guy. I’m just gonna go let him shop and be a normal person. But missus Powers asked on his behalf, telling Jerry Seinfelder her husband is the biggest Seinfeld fan she knows. I’m sure Jerry’s never heard that before. And how when a couple first met, he and his roommate watched the show every night over and over and over.

Jerry said, sure, why not? I bet Jerry that’s how he is. Jerry’s exactly who you think he is. By the way, none of that’s an act. Nothing impresses him.

His reaction everything is just like huh. Then Jerry was spotted at the Creamery downtown. He had coffee and had a leisurely breakfast on a Saturday morning. Owner Scott Van and manager Jim Jansen knew in advance that Jerry would be dining with them at nine am. Someone from Jerry’s team had called Wednesday to make a reservation for him and his guests.

Jansen said, I think Jerry appreciated his privacy. Obviously. We gave him a ton of respect as well. We wanted to give him his own space. Would you even believe that if you own a diner and like I call and I’m like, yes, I’d like to make a reservation for Jerry Seinfeld Saturday Morning, would you believe me?

No, Well, we’re sold. The creamery has had celebrity guests before, including Green Bay Packers quarterback Jordan Love, so the staff is well versed in making sure that celebrities can enjoy their time. They’re uninterrupted. Jansen said he was super We were super polite and super friendly. It was really cool for us to showcase Green Bay and have him come in for breakfast.

Meanwhile, Jerry was on The Today Show and he said he’s in full support of Larry David’s attack on Elmo. Hoda said the attack was said, Jerry said, nah, I enjoyed that. Jennet bush Hager pushed back and said Elmo’s an American treasure, and Jerry said, well, even Treshre’s need a beating once in a while. We’re gonna be hearing a lot from Jerry for the next ten days or so. I’ve got Jerry stories in like the next four scripts already.

I saw a trailer with Sarah Cooper. Yes, I’m gonna do the bit, you know, Sarah Cooper. She used a pantomime to Donald Trump on TikTok. Johnny Mack deals Fair. Sarah looks really good in this.

Visually, she looks really good in this, but that’s not what I meant originally. Her acting really comfortable in the role. And I saw a clip of Sarah Cooper on a talk show, really personable. Camer loves her charismatic. I get it now.

Why Netflix gave her a special off TikTok videos, I don’t know, but Sarah Cooper actually I like it. Looking forward to seeing this movie from Cracked. Yeah, that’s the website. They’re right about comedy all the time. I’m not sure if this is a new thing or where they got it from, but they’re sourcing David Tel here talking about David Tel’s Mount Rushmore of Comedy.

Again, just could have happened yesterday, it could happened ten years ago. I’m not sure. Attel says my Mount Rushmore is more of a Supreme Court. So most people the Mount Rushmore of Comedy would have four people at Tels has ten. Do you want my Mount Rushmore?

I’ll just go real quick. Carlon pryor Johnny Carson Bobo has that? Johnny, you didn’t put any women on it? Okay, Carlin pryor Lucy Bobo. How’s that a Tells list.

I should do a whole separate episode about this. So David Tell’s list, I’m not sure if this is the order number one, Dave Chappelle, then Bill Burd, Mitch Hedberg, Richard Jenny, sam Kinison, Bill Hicks, Great Giraldo, Patrese, O’Neill, Gilbert Godfried, Bob Saget, you know, all solid comedians. But you know, no Carlin, no Pryor on there, nobody from earlier. Maybe this is a twenty first century list. When did Bill Hicks pass away?

Though? When did Kinnison pass away? All right, so it’s a post nineteen eighty list. I’ll make this easy. You know it’s not awful, but I’d have to dive in and analyze that.

Who’s on your list? He has Facebook group Daily Comedy News. Drew Carrey was on after midnight. He clarified some tweets. Apparently Drew went to the Sphere where it’s just sphere with Nova, you know the place in Vegas YouTube played for months.

Drew went to see Fish the band you know Phih you know what I’m talking about there? Yes, Drew tweeted, I swear I just talked to God. I would give you all my money, stick my stuff in a blender, and swear off women parts for the rest of my life in exchange for this. I had to quite clean that up. Drew.

You’re killing me. Man. I was just on the phone with Apple the other day telling him the show is clean. Can you remove the explicit mark this next sent It’s so dirty. I don’t even know how to clean it up, but I’ll try.

Drew said the show was like what it must feel like to be a woman and experience great pleasure. Has that he used quite vulgar terms there. Taylor Thomlinson had some follow up questions. Carry explained that the reason he thought Fish was a kids to the female orgasm was because he went to see the band with a bunch of women. Oh, Drew, I got to move on.

I don’t even have to clean this up. He said. It was like being right on the brink for four days straight and then right before man, dude, the good part, an angel comes down Gabriel and he shoots Heroin into your arm. Wow. That daytime talk show, The Talk When they’re wrapping up in December, but they’ve decided to add comedians every Friday starting today.

They’ll do stand up at the Talk Today’s comedian Wendy Liebman. Next week, Preacher Lawson and Zorna Garg on the tenth, Brad Upton on the seventeenth. Beth Stelling and Mo Welsh have announced their new podcast. It is called Sweethearts that’ll be out Wednesday, May first. In the new show, the Midwestern born stand up comedians invite fans to examine life, sweet and sour moments through candy donuts, cookies, rom coms, love sex, dentistry and much more.

Now, what’s interesting with the sentence is they didn’t put a comma between sex and dentistry, so I may have misled you. It might actually be candy donuts, cookies, rom coms, love, sex, dentistry and much more. I’m not familiar with sex dentistry, but I assume you get drilled. Oh come on, I slamm that my sex dentistry joke was so good. I dropped two stories that I’ll do tomorrow because I wanted to go out on the laugh you laugh that was good, and I did that on the Fly Sydney Comedy Festival.

So I spent a lot of time trying to pull clips and I kept clicking on boxes and nobody had any clips except Sarah Keyworth, so I’ll got a little long here. Sarah Keyworth’s show is called My Eyes Are Up Here, We Are Told. Sarah Keeworth presents a joyous new show about family acceptance and a pair of big will not super big losses. In twenty twenty three, Sarah turned thirty, got diagnosed with ADHD and had top surgery. But the biggest thing to come out of the year was the revelation that maybe mom was right all along.

Let’s listen, I’m at that stage of life. All of my friends are doing very exciting things, getting engaged, getting married, having children, things like that. I’m not doing any of that at the moment, not doing anything. My mom is panicking that she’s never going to have grandchildren, not because I’m gay, but because this is my job and my brother collects ceramic ducks, so she’s she’s not sure it’s gonna work out for her. One of my oldest and best friends she got engaged recently and then she and her fiance bought a house.

I went round to have a look at it. She wanted to show me the house, show me all the rooms, so she was shown me. I don’t know what to make. I’m not very good at that kind of thing. She’s shown.

I don’t know what you do when an adult shows you their bedroom. What did you say? I was looking at us, lovely stuff, very nice. I said, oh, we which side of the bed is yours? That’s what I said, That’s what I asked.

And she went, what do you mean? And I said, oh, which side of the bed is your side of the bed? Which side of the bed do you sleep on? My friend, I’ve known her fifteen years. She looked me full in the face and she said, Oh, we don’t have sides.

We just sleep anywhere. So I said, oh, I’m sorry. What were you talking about? Man? What do you mean?

You don’t have sides? You go and pick on at random every single night. You’ve got no idea what’s going to happen. As you’re walking upstairs, I was like, where do you cry? I took a minute to get there, but very strong, very strong.

The Herald from the UK gave it five stars, presumably out of five, and said achingly funny out on the eight hundred pound gorilla today. Nick Offerman’s American ham meanwhile out of on YouTube at four Central today. You can do the conversion yourself. Adam Ray’s Bigfoot and Cigarettes.

Meanwhile, a little crossover with the Palace Intrigue podcast because it inv…

You know him. He’s going to be the King someday. Diyana’s son. You know that guy, the guy that’s not Harry him. He was visiting Saint Michael’s school.

He was asked by the students to tell a dad joke. Prince William said, and I don’t do any sort of Prince William impression. I’ve been asked to produce a dad joke, so I will channel Jack Whitehall, as most of his jokes are a bit dad like. He then engage with the children. The future King said, knock knock.

The children said, who’s there? The future King said, interrupting cow. Do you know how this money goes? As the children get halfway through interrupting cow, the Prince interrupted them and went moo. The children giggled.

Prince William acknowledged the cheesy nature of the joke and said, I get a lot of that at home. It’s the greatest one I can think of that’s clean and broadcastable. I wonder if Prince William has some Drew Carrits file on material. Jack Whitehall saw the Prince’s comments and responded on X saying, rinsed by the future King. And that is your comedy news.

If you want to hear some royal stuff, you can download the Palace Intrigue podcast. We talk about the royal family. It’s been a fun week with Megan Markle’s Celebrity Jam. Believe me, that’s been a ton of fun. And we’ve got the subscription thing up and running.

So if you enjoy our content, this show Palace Intrigue, five good news stories, Monster Sharks and Dinosaurs, and you want to get commercial free archives and the new episodes commercial free. I’ll talk about that in a second. Become a subscriber on Apple Podcasts just for ninety nine US dollars per month. You could start with a thirty free day trial so you can try it out, test drive it. If you get to day twenty nine you’re like this sucks, Johnny Mack, then you don’t have to do anything right.

It just unsubscribed. So here’s the challenge for me. I can’t preschedule the commercial free version, so normally want I do like right now, it is three twenty four pm on Thursday afternoon. I’m going to finish recording in like two minutes. I’ll edit it.

I will schedule it to deploy at three h five Eastern on Friday morning. You’re now listening to it, but I can’t preschedule the commercial free version. So the best I can do for you on the new episodes is when I get up in the morning, I’ll upload it. I’m usually on the laptop seven thirty am ish, depending on my trip to the National Donus chain. So that’s the best I can do for now.

So I don’t want totally lie to you and be like the new episode’s commercial free. The new episode will be commercial free, just not the first four hours. So if you’re up at five am Eastern, don’t get mad at me. That’s what’s going on here, Just playing all my cards up. If you’d rather support podcasts using value for Value Podcasting two point zero, you can stream SATs in our direction using Fountain n app or podcast Goop or true Fans.

I’ve been playing around with all three of those. All week shows now are supposed to say. Portions of this program may have been created with the assistance of AI. Now, AI can mean anything as I speak to you right now. I haven’t used any AI on today’s show, but I will use AI on the show notes for example.

That is the assistance of AI. And I use a program called the script, and if I misspeak the AI, Johnny Mack can do a correction. I have used that often. If I misspeak one word, I replace it. You don’t even notice.

It sounds like me. If I use it for more than a few words, it falls apartment for one word, you never know. So that’s the assistance of AI. Right, Federal Trade Commission, Get off my back. Follow this show for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your shows.

If you’re new, there’s a fallo button on your app there present so you never miss an episode. We do this seven days a week. See you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hidy Ho, I’m shunning back with your Daily Comedy News. You guys know I love a good fight. This from Ghana Webb. You’re home for comedy news.

Nigerian comedian parent Mouth has alleged that comedian Funny Face has breached a contract between them by failing to perform at his event after receiving payment. I love that their names are a parrot Mouth and funny Face. According to Parrotmouth, funny Face was booked to perform at a show in Nigerian was paid half his performance fee before the event, but then funny Face demanded full payment before we would perform. Parentmouth said Funny Face failed to show up at the event and hasn’t reached out to refund the earlier half payment. He also said funny Face hasn’t returned any calls we paid half the money.

We had to call him more than fifty times. He didn’t pick up the call. I didn’t even call him for a refund or write to him for anything because I believe that whatever you do, we’ll catch up with you. Uh oh arch Barker. Remember he asked a breastfeeding woman and the baby to leave his show the other day, Orge Parker says, I have nothing against babies.

Number one, the breastfeeding thing non issue. It should be an admissible and I hadn’t no id issues breastfeeding or not. Because I was on a lit stage. All I could see was a woman, likely holding a baby. The breastfeeding was never part of it.

If it were the father, I would have acted the exact same way. It had nothing to do with the baby. Making noise was purely an audio issue, had nothing to do with her being a mom. I have nothing against moms. Forbes asked Neil Brennan.

Hey, Neil Brennan, you asked AI to generate some opening lines for you new special. What are your hopes, dreams and fears about AI and comedy. I’d like to be able to load all my material into an AI and of things generated passively for me so I can use them, But I don’t think you’ll be able to replicate it completely. Human beings like human beings. I’m hoping it’ll be incredible for medicine, science, automation, But in terms of AI as a comedian, you’re gonna root for the person.

I don’t think you would have seen anyhow or made for me in conjunction with a robot. Well, I took that challenge. I threw some Neil Brennan into the AI, and here’s what it came up with. Again, Neil Brennan would tell it better and write it better, but AI. Neil Brennan, as translated by Johnny Mack is you know you’re getting old when your biggest life goal is keeping up with your cops.

Meanwhile, kids, these days are all about crypto and TikTok fame. I’m just trying to avoid needing a hip replacement before the next Marvel movie comes out. I’m not sure that sounds like Neil Brennan. It sounds like really really poor Man’s Bill Burr to me. You know, if the Tuesday Night Middler at the Chuckle Hut did that joke.

It’s not the worst joke. I mean, by itself, it’s pretty bad, but in the middle of a set, you know it would work. One of those like you know, loud guys. Here’s another one in the same style. I don’t think it sounds like Neil Brennan.

You know. I finally read the self help book everybody’s raving about. Turns out the key to happiness is being yourself great, So I’m doing it wrong this all time. Next one a little hack, but again Tuesday Middler at the chuckle Hut, and I say laughter is the best medicine. Clearly those people have never tried xanax.

Nothing suites the dread like pharmaceutical grade mood all duration. And this next one also doesn’t seund like Neil Brennan, it sounds I’m more head burgee In or Dmitri Martin. It’s actually a pretty good joke. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. That’s actually a solid joke.

I’m adding that to my joke book. When Dan Boobletz Junior forces me to open for him some night, I’m gonna whip that one out. I am not a comedian, can you tell? All? Right?

Back to Neil Brennan, and then some more fun here. So Forbes said, do you think AI can be a tool? Neil said, if it can take what I’ve made and have an AI for material for me, Yeah. I think Drake should be able to load in all his vocals, then if he likes something, he can redo it. That’s fair usage artistically, but as someone who’s written jokes for other people.

I can get into the psychology of another person. I’ve written material for Dave Chappelle. What it took for me able to do that, I don’t think it’d be easy for a computer to do. So I asked the computer to write some Dave Chappelle jokes and stay with me here. I’m doing a bit.

Don’t cancel me. So it wrote some jokes. This is ninety eight percent Dave Chappelle and two percent Johnny Mack, turning it into a Dave Chappelle style joke. Do you know where I’m going here? Don’t care?

Answer me? Okay? The AI mostly wrote you know, I’ve been thinking about this whole participation trophy thing. People always complain about how kids these days get rewarded for showing up. Let’s be real, isn’t that what we all want?

I’d love to get a trophy every time I managed to get out of bed and face another day in this crazy world. Imagine if we got participation trophies for all the mundane stuff we do. Congratulations, I’m paying your taxes on time, Greek job, or remember to change the toilet paper roll. Congratulations on being trans see and now Dave. He smokes a cigarette, he mugs for the camera and he does that thing like he’s gonna fall over, and he makes the face and he laughs at you.

That’s a Dave Chappelle joke.

Speaking of Dave Spelle jokes, now, I’m trying to illustrate here.

You know, there is a way, and hopefully I just did it to make a trans joke. That’s not a trans joke. It’s just that’s really a joke about Dave Chappelle. Another joke that I recently made in the car. I was driving through Pennsylvania on I eighty and it was a truck and the truck had its brand on the side of the truck, and he said, blank America, Blank America, and it’s on a truck.

And as I passed the truck, I just looked at my daughter and out of nowhere I go. Even the trucks are trans. Now, that’s funny. I don’t mean that in hate. It’s just funny.

It’s a truck. Don’t cancel me. I’m just having fun. In the basement. The av Club listed the twenty five best Saturday Night Live cast members of this century.

Now behind the scenes here this is actually take two of the podcast. I recorded half the podcast and I noticed the mic levels were just wrong and it wasn’t worth fixing the audio, so I just did it again. So I kind of know where this is going this time, so you’re not going to get quite the reaction I did the first time. But it is the twenty five best SNL cast members of the century. And as I sat here, I was like, Okay, who’s going to be on this?

Tina and Amy Bowen should be on it. Kate McKinnon will be pretty high.

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And then I dove in and I started reading it.

So twenty five is Bowen Yang, twenty four is Fallon, who you know wasn’t that good on SNL. Twenty three is Vanessa Bayer And at that point I commented, on take one of this podcast, apparently this is just a list of twenty five people someone can name that we’re on sna because ya Vanessa Bear. Okay, I guess this isn’t exactly Belucian Acroyd, is it? Twenty two? Parnell twenty one, Bobby moynihan, I mean, come on, twenty Anna Gasteire nineteen, Seth Meyers.

Other than sitting at the desk was he that good. Jason Sidakis at eighteen eighty, Bryan at seventeen, Molly Shannon, Tracy Morgan. And here’s where I draw the line. I draw it between fifteen and fourteen, because fourteen is Cecily Strong, who I think is criminally underrated, so talented. Thirteen Darryl Hammond in ninety five to two thousand and nine, Rachel Dratch at twelve forty at eleven, Macpacker Awaars number ten.

I skipped a number ten, number ten, Fred Armisen, Andy Samberg at nine. He’s in the macpack he should be much higher at Tina Fey, Keenan at seven, Maya Rudolph at six, Polar, Kate McKinnon, Kristin Wig Great Pick at three. This next one threw me because this guy was on from ninety five to two. I think of him as a nineties act, but I guess he was on this century. Will Ferrell, I mean, yeah, but I don’t know, Like I said, nineties guy number one, Bill Hater, I mean, as I look at this list, you know I could give it to Keenan just for long chevity.

I’d pull Kate Way up. I’d actually pull Bowen Yang up. I’d pull Samberg up, so starting at the top, throwing out Will Ferrell just for reasons discussed hater, Kristin Wig, Kate Pohlar My, Rudolph Keenan, Tina fe Samberg, Fred Ormissen. Yeah, probably Kristin Kate. I’d put Tina out of amy.

That’d probably be my list. Steve Carell will start opposite Tina Fey in the upcoming Netflix comedy series The Four Seasons, based on the nineteen eighty one film of the same name that one starred Alan Alden Carol Burnett. In the Four Seasons, three married couples stake vacations together each season, but things are thrown for a loop when one of the husbands leaves his wife and begins bringing a younger woman with him. Oh, let’s check in at the Sydney Comedy Festival. Yes, I actually pulled clips in advance.

Got my act together this week? Huh? Well except for the whole thing where he did half this podcast on the Michael were Atro shitdo it other than that? I have my acts together this week. Chloe Pet’s fresh from her smash he had Edinburgh Fringe and soho theater sessions.

She makes her Sydney debut. She has termed audiences with her polite take on big issues, and now she’s cashing in on those points and plans and being really rude. It’s no more mister nice Chloe. Let’s listen. I’ve always been very masculine.

I was what you would call a child geezer. You probably seen children gezers knocking her ound, Just the sort of kid that looks like they can handle themselves at a wedding, right, Cousin Brian ain’t getting tuning with the particular fingers. They got it covered right the first time. The first time I realized I was a child geezer is when I went to ballet class when I was about seven and I walked in first mistake, did think it was a contact spot. I walked in and there are all these lovely girls in there too, to sort of politely jumping up for a jetie.

I look like I was going up for a corner, just stomping around the room like I was ross kempon parents. Common to go, Sorry was her regards through the ballet class. We’re told to expect routines on wedding dance floors, the footy and calling you all a bunch of Virgins as she reinvents herself as a tougher and more brutal comedian. Supposedly, Chortle said, the show is structured controlled, keeps the laughter rolling right to the end. Metro Uk said, has the audiences and stitches for stars all right.

Next up, let’s listen to Chris Ryan. The world and everyone in it has reduced Chris Ryan and eye rolls and saying, how are we expected to take anything seriously when everything is so half arsed? What if the only thing that sparks your joys another’s misfortune? Chris Ryan show is called good. Oh, let’s listen.

I’m listening to a meditation out that tells me to do the next thing I’m going to do in my life with quality, as if the most important person in the world is watching. And look, that’s a lot of pressure. Some things are aided by imagining Ryan Gosling’s watching, not everything, and at this point I love imagining him, just going why do you keep bringing me to your weird comedy show? I didn’t want to be here? And as for what you made me watch this afternoon, I can’t unseae that Amazon MGM Studios has ordered a pilot for it.

Dinks sounds dirty, right, but no? In improvisational style multiicam comedy starring June, Diane Raphael, and Paul Sheer In Dinks, Josh and Charlie played by June and Paul, are a couple who, in absence of marriage or kids, decide to literally build a life together by renovating their nightmare of a dream house. Okay, wrestling fans, the Ultimate Champion wrestler Coldy Rhodes will make a cameo in The Naked Gun. I don’t know why we’re rebooting The Naked Gun, and if you’re going to reboot it, why you’re rebooting it with Liam Neeson as your star. He’s already seventy one.

I don’t know if you know any police officers. Many of them choose to do their twenty twenty five thirty years and retire. You don’t see too many seventy one year old cups. I get it’s a parody. I get it.

I don’t know. I like Liam Neeson, but weird casting here. This is like when Steve Martin was the Ping Panther and I wanted to throw pies at the wall. That was just what are you doing an Insider till the Daily Mail, Cody Rhadse and maybe having a huge feud with the Rock in the WWE ring right now, but it looks like the battle lookstend to Hollywood. Is he’s going to star in the new Naked Gun film?

Is it star or Cameo? I suspect it’s Cameo. And that is your comedy news for today. Now, we’re working on bringing back the subscriptions on Apple Podcasts. You can get the show commercial free.

Let me tell you how this is going to work. Okay, behind the scenes, it’s a pain in the neck. I published the podcast at three oh five Eastern. I can’t preload the commercial free version. So the best I can do is publish the show at three oh five, and then when I get up in the morning, go oh yeah, I should publish the commercial free version.

So I don’t want to promise you that when you wake up in the morning you’ll get the show commercial free. I can promise you that you’ll get the archive commercial free, but you can also get the archives on the entire network here at Caloroga Shark Media. All the fiction shows we’ve loaded commercial free. Pallas Intrigue will be like this one will get up in the morning, We’ll clean it up. Trivia You’ll be like this one will get up in the morning and clean it up, all right.

So I don’t want to over promise you. And if you want to try this out, you can get a free thirty day trial. Open up this show. It’ll put the option in front of you. You can try it out.

If you go this sucks, you can cancel it anytime. Even if you like it, you can cancel it any time four ninety nine a month, or if you prefer to sport podcast using value for value, if you know what I’m talking about, you can stream SATs in our direction. Some apps you could use Fountain, podcast Guru or True Fans. I’ve been playing around with Fountain and podcast Guru this week. Or you can do what you did when you wi move up today.

You can just follow the show for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or if you get your shows if you’re new, push that button that says follow so you never miss an episode. And I’ll see here tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media, Heidlee Ho, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Bourbon entrepreneur Jim Gaffigan tweet did catch me and this all star lineup with the Hollywood bol May first and second part of the Netflix as a joke festival in the image which looks a little rat packy Nate Bergatsy, Sebastian Maniscalco, Jerry Seinfeld and Jim Gaffigan. We’re gonna be hearing a lot from Jerry in the upcoming weeks as he’s got this Pop Tarts movie coming out. GQ did a profile of Jerry I’ll pick a way at over the next few days. Jerry talked about the Curb finale and he said, as I drove home that night, my scalp was just tingling.

I thought what we had done was just the coolest, wildest, most remarkable thing. Says, it’s the callback to end all callbacks. When you have that joke that was set up twenty five years ago and then paid off twenty five years later, how do you even describe something like that, I’ll describe it. It was okay, Sorry, Jerry switching to Pop Tarts. GQ had a bunch of questions for Jerry, and I’ll bust out.

I haven’t done this in a while. Half ass angry Jerry Seinfeld impression. GQ asked, what’s so funny about breakfast everything? I love the great dumbness of life, GQ. There’s dumbness everywhere.

Why do you keep returning to this corner of it? There is dumbness everywhere? But I really do love Cereal. I love the witness and the crudginess. I love spots.

I love balls. When I was saying, oh my ketch it out, keep a ball the spode and my friends would laugh, why we take it out of the ball. That’s where it’s going GQ. Larry David told me that it was because there’s a K in breakfast. Jerry says, everybody knows that K is the funniest letter.

Gary Coleman said that recently. Jerry said, oh yeah, everybody knows. Kay. Or see, it’s the sound when you’re trying to get people’s attention in a crowded nightclub, they can hear K. All right, Jerry?

Why a movie because they wouldn’t put me in mad Men. I love that kind of comedy. I love office comedies. I love stupid people in suits, and it was COVID. I had nothing to do, so I got talked into it.

It wasn’t my idea. Seinfeld wasn’t my idea either. I kept getting dragged into things and surrounded by the most amazing people. These movie people are unbelievable. They’re insane.

Like we had a prop master. She had a room and it was Florida ceiling toys and bikes and clothes from that era. Everybody does their job one hundred fifty percent. It’s weird. Jerry’s getting some pickup from this interview his comments on the movie business industry.

Jerry said, they’re so dead serious. They don’t have any idea that the movie business is over. They have no idea that is making the trades. Jerry says film does not occupy the pinnacle and the social cultural hierarchy that it did for most of our lives. When a movie came out, if it was good, we all went to see it, We all discussed it, We quoted lines and scenes we liked.

Now we’re walking through a fire hose of water just trying to see Disorientation replaced the movie business. Everyone I know in show business every day is going, what’s going on? How do you do this? What are we supposed to do? Now?

I’ve done enough stuff that I have my own thing, which is more valuable than it’s ever been. Stand up is like you’re a cabinet maker and everybody needs a guy who’s good with wood. There’s trees everywhere, but to make a nice table, it’s not so easy. So the metaphor is, if you have good craft and craftsmanship, you’re kind of impervious to the whims of the industry. Audienceers are now flocking a stand up because it’s something you can’t fake.

It’s like platform diving. You could say you’re a platform diver, but in two seconds we can see if you are or you aren’t. So that’s interesting. Later in this segment, I’m going to play a clip from Rogan, So just remember what Jerry just said there because it’s gonna be relevant later. Jerry said, that’s what people like about stand up.

They can trust it. Everything else is fake. Unfrosted. I can’t remember that. I keep calling it pop towards movie unfrosted, Netflix, May third, random stray thought, just I threw it here in my script, Helper, Remember Conan O’Brien just dropped a travel show on HBO Max Max, HBO Max.

Did that have any impact on popular culture at all? Other than a few days before there were a ton of Conan articles, But like, did anyone watch it? Is anyone talking about it? It just kind of came and went and happened. And remember when Conan gave up the TBS show, was like, Oh, he’s gonna have a show on HBO, and we were waiting years for it.

It just kind of happened. Does anyone care? Gabe Iglesias has inked a two stand up deal with Netflix. The first we’ll tape at the Hard Rock in Hollywood, Florida in July twelfth through the fourteenth. No dates on those.

The eight hundred Padungerilla had a bunch of people at Moon Tower and they reviewed a few shows, and I thought i’d share what they said. As for Shane Gillis, they said he’s handling the transition into being an arena comic with certain ease on stage. You talked about what goes into picking an intro song, why he should be a high school football coach. We’ve heard him do that before. Accidentally sending nude Snapchat photos different topic when you stop being friends with your mom and opening a down syndrome coffee shop, as well as a joke that Lorne Michaels woudn’t let him tell.

In his monologue Eight hundred Pound Gorilla writes, if there’s an earnestness to gill Us on stage, there’s anything, but when it comes to Martin or Bono, if you’ve never seen Orbono stand up before, it’s far easier to explain by recommending you watch a few clips first. By design, Orbano’s act consists of a persona that doesn’t necessarily translate well into reading. Oh, I’m sure my third hand recap of this show is going to really convey what he does. That’s because the beauty of what he does is in the delivery, as he satirizes the brogue culture, misogyny, and much more that you need to witness in order to fully grasp what he’s doing. So even if I play you audio, I guess we have to go.

So see Martin o’brano. They also went to see Burbiglia. Barbiglia has that gift as a storyteller to keep you truly invested from start to finish. So much that it doesn’t feel like it’s been a full hour by the time he’s done. It’s effortless.

That was precisely the vibe we got from his show last weekend. The show was completely sold out, comprised of his large fan base, some of whom had told me they’ve seen him many times before. Some of the topics for Biggs did included what a different time it is for parenting versus how when he was raised. Okay, I mean I heard that kind of material at the bar every week, I hear it in my car on the weekend. I see it on the internet.

Hopefully for Biggs did the good version of that. That is not the most original material. You know, back in the seventies, we just all piled into the station wagon and we didn’t have seat belts in the back seat. Dad slammed the brakes and you went fly to the glasses like you’ve heard that, right, You’ve heard that bit, But I don’t know. For Bigs probably did a good version of it.

The emotion of being a parent, realizing how little he actually knows, balancing the calendar to make time for your spouse, how the DARE program is a double negative. We Dare You Not to Do Drugs? And a parody song he wrote in high school to the tune of Bust to Move the title to Bust Them Drugs. Andrew Santino is going to get a pop this week. He’s going on Travis Kelcey’s New Heights podcast.

Santino shared a video on his Instagram story where he’s with Travis Kelcey. You know, Travis Kelcey is dating Taylor Swift Now. One time at the Golden Globes, Joe Coy made a joke about Taylor. But I’m not playing it for you because you don’t appreciate recurring jokes. Santino discussed how he came up with his Cheeto nickname.

We also learned from Santino how he came up with the nickname Cheeto.

All right, here’s that clip of Joe Rogan that I mentioned yesterday.

The guest here is I’ve frozen his name. I wanted to say Chris Tucker. It’s not Chris Tucker, it’s Tucker Carlson, two totally different people. Doesn’t really matter that Tucker’s there, but that’s the other voice. You hear Joe Rogan talking about joke thieves and then how Chris Rock uses the writer’s room, and this will take you all the way to the break.

I think creativity is in everybody. It’s just a matter of percent. It’s in everybody. It just requires honesty. Yeah, and any impediment to creativity is line sure.

And yeah, I used to say that about joke thieves, that one of the real problems with joke thieves is when they get caught and then they have to write their own material. And the problem is they don’t understand the language. They just know how to say the sounds. Like if you told me what to say in French, I can’t speak French. But if you told me what to say and I practice it and I said it right, you think, wow, that guy speaks French.

Yes, So that’s what comedy’s like. So if you got a guy who knows how to repeat other people’s jokes, but he does know how to create him. See, comedy is one of the rare things where someone when it, Like you get a guy like Shane Gillis. That guy writes his own stuff. He edits it it, he thinks it out in his head, he performs it, he produces it.

He changes the order of things that it’s a complete Everybody does it pretty much the same way. There’s a few guys that hire writers, and there’s that’s honorable. There’s nothing wrong with the hiring writer. And it’s also gives jobs to other comics, because some comics are just really good writers and then not so good at performing. And so people will work on stuff, they’ll collaborate on stuff.

Like Chris Rock would do this thing where he would hire comics and they didn’t write the jokes for him, but they would be like guys. He would bounce stuff off, so he would have his ideas, he would go on stage, and then after a set they would all meet and they would talk about the set, and you know, guys would have taglines like you could say this, oh great, and they write that down they’re adding. So it’s a collaboration. So you have the master. You have Chris Rock, who is so open minded and intelligent and humble that he brings in other masters and says, tell me what I’m doing wrong.

So the Webby Awards happened all of a sudden. There was a press release going, Hey, here’s everybody who won the Webby Awards, and I’m kind of eye rolling this thing. Because you have to pay to enter and they give away so many awards it’s like, are you even really winning anything or is it just you know? Best podcast? Released by Johnny Mack on a Wednesday.

The nominees are this episode and last week’s episode. Give us the two hundred and fifty dollars so you can be in our little thing. I’m just gonna read comedy related ones and this will give you an idea for how many trillions might be an acassination trillions of categories. There are the Webby Award for Comedy, Comma show, parentheses, podcasts, all right, comedy podcasts. What show do you think won the Webby Award?

You can guess for the rest of the year, and you’re never gonna come up with us never ever, ever. I’ve never even heard of this show. And aside from like I suck, I’ll remind you I work in podcasting. I’ll remind you that I’ve hosted the show for almost five years now, and before that all my time it’s serious. But for the last five years, every day I google the words comedy and comedian and I must suck because I’ve never heard of The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya.

Anyway, that won the Webby Award for Best Comedy Show Podcasts. The People’s Voice Award for Comedy Comma Shows Parentheses podcast went to ConA and O’Brien. The Webby Award for Featured Guest comm My Individual Episodes Parentheses Podcasts went to kat Williams. Yeah, that was pretty good. The Webby Award for Comedy Comma Individual Episodes Podcasts went to Las Culturistas, Ohen Yang Matt Rodgers.

All right, so that’s already four things that are like made up categories. Can we just do like Best Comedy Podcasts and be done with it? Saturday Night Live won the Webby Award for Events and Live Streams General Video. Parentheses Video The Simpsons, Maggie Simpson and Rogue not Quite One won the Webby Award for Comedy Comma Branded Entertainment. Parentheses Video twenty one spelled out and then twenty one the numbers, so twenty one twenty one, A black af scripted audio comedy, won the Webby Award for Best Indie Podcast.

Limited Run Comma Features Parentheses Podcasts. You Excited? John Stewart brought out his fastball on Monday I’m sure it’s a combination of he feels passionate about this and the numbers it down a little bit. But he took a shot at the rest of the media a segment called ark is Most Tremendously Wanted. John Stewart said that the current trial of Donald Trump will obviously be a test to the fairness of the American legal system, but it’s also a test of the media’s ability to cover Donald Trump in a responsible way, a task they have acknowledged that they’ve performed poorly in the past.

He then played some clips from people on CNN and MSNBC. He then mocked them and said, so brave, well done. Stuart said, perhaps if we limit the coverage to the issues at hand and try not to create an all encompassing spectacle of the most banal of details, perhaps that would help. Then he played some clips of cable news showing Trump arriving and leaving court each day. John said, seriously, we’re going to follow this guy to court every day?

Are you trying to make this O? J Simpson, It’s not a chase he’s commuting. So the media’s first attempt, the very first attempt on the first day of the trial, it’s self control. It failed. Here at the Basement Podcast Company, we’ve actually ramped up the ballot podcasts.

We figure John Stewart’s gonna get mad at us, but we figured, hm, Trump plus porn star plus trial probably some good comedy there. So we’re going to be putting out episodes daily for a little bit ballot to get your shows. Sydney Comedy Festival begins. I know you’re like, John, you never talk about Australian comedy. Well, we got another festival.

My takeaway here so unlike the Melbourne Festival, where every day I clicked on the website and I was like, oh, this thing hasn’t loaded yet. Today I actually prepared. I pulled three days worth of clips for myself, so I have my act together today and I’ll tell you the same thing I said for Melbourne. Something’s broken in the United States. Because I’m playing these clips of comedians.

The comedians happened to be women and they’re all wonderful. So something’s wrong in the States where women comedians are underrepresented or not getting a shot, or there’s something in the water in Australia. I don’t know, but I’m looking at the Australian comedy scene and going wow, there are a lot of really funny women. One of the women at the Sydney Festival, and I’m not stupid. She’s not Australian.

The festival is Australian. Is Fern Brady? You watched her on Netflix the other day, didn’t you. Well, she’s at the Sydney Festival. The Scotsman said.

She’s absolutely fearless. There’s nowhere she won’t go and nothing she won’t say on stage, and she’ll switch from snarling and menacing the sweet and girlish in an instant. The Evening Standard four stars. She is distinctly acerbic and skating, but most importantly hugely entertaining to let’s listen. I finally got diagnosed autistic.

It’s actually been really hard for me because there’s not a lot of representation of hot women within the autistic community. So be the change you want to see in the world. I guess it’s just me and great a Funberg representing and it makes sense because a lot of stuff people do seems really alien to me. Like a lot of my friends are getting married now and I keep saying that my boyfriend, who’s like my translator for human behavior. Why are all these people we know getting married?

And he justifies it the way a lot of people justify it. He says, they’re getting married firm because they want the opportunity to declare their love for one another in front of Oh they’re family. I’m laughing because I would actually have to be on ecstasy to do something like that. Yeah, why don’t I make her sex tape? But what my emotions?

That was a good clip. That’s actually better than the Netflix teaser that I played the other day. All right, Kirsty Webeck, I think I played her for Melbourne and I think this is a different clip. I’m kidding, Old the brain fills up. Her show is called I’ll be the Judge of That.

She’s recently learned more about her relationship with Farmers, She’s had a harrowing experience with classical music, and a special thing happened to her at the airport. The Sydney Morning Herald says, consistently enjoyable and impossible to dislike. Let’s listen. I was in the supermarket recently in a small child yelled out at me how you look like a man? And I said, can you play so much?

To my boss. So it’s reflected in my pie. Just boom, just just got him. I didn’t even have a boss. You know.

Well in your face. In all four you’ll find the tape, coffee and some sass about the gender pay gap. I don’t mind things like that though, Like sometimes I like to walk into the Maya makeup counter just to see four sales assistants have no idea what to do. I was in an uber recently and the driver said to me, I thought your name was Kirsty and I said it is and I thought this is going to be good, and he said, ah ha, yeah, ha, we are right. I was just I thought Kirsty was a girl’s name, and there was not enough time to explain that gender is a social construct, so I said it is a girl’s name.

And In Today’s a non controversy controversy from The New York Post, a British comedian has sparked to beat after mocking his pregnant wife’s walk. Daniel O’Reilly, who goes by Damper Laughs, filmed his heavily pregnant wife in a supermarket while making fun of her gait. The TikTok has gone viral. Boy I hope the government doesn’t shut down TikTok, because then we won’t get videos like this anymore. In the TikTok video, Daniel asks why pregnant women walk like they’re about to start a scrap.

She looks like she’s just come out of a pub, had ten stell of ears, and she’s deep on the pub grub. The wife tells the comedian to shut up. Some of the comments. One user wrote, because we’re in pain, baby is heavy and pushing down. Another user said because there’s literally a bowling ball between my legs.

Someone else said it’s a level of discomfort you can’t understand unless you’ve lived it. Another said I was about to get defensive being a heavily pregnant woman, but I’m crying laughing, and that is your comedy needs for today. I put out another substack on Tuesday, and there’s another one out on Wednesday. The link is in the show notes. It’s mcdeepod dot substack dot com.

If you want to read me rambling about various topics. Yesterday was about Netflix streaming. Wednesdays is about Oh, this whole thing with Megan Mark and her selling jam. It is so entertaining. We’ve been covering that over on the Palace Intrigued podcast, But if you want to read about it, that’s in the substack today.

The substack is free, so you know, subscribe and the email show up in your inbox and you could be like, I’m sick of Johnny Mack. Just delete it. That’s your comedy needs for today, See tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello. A lot of feisty stuff today, which is how I like it. Hi, I’m Johnny Mack with your daily common News, Quick quick housekeeping. So if you listen every day, you know, normally the A bloc I have like the more newsy things, and then the after the commercial, I get a little far afield.

Today, a lot of stuff that’s normally an A. I moved to B because A is only going to be feisty stuff and big, huge news which starts with Kat Williams. His special on Netflix. May fourth will be live on Netflix. It is called Woke Folk Saturday, May fourth, ten pm Eastern.

Now, I’m supposed to be in Cleveland on May fourth, and I would be driving back at ten pm. So if you’re in Cleveland and you thick up showing up, Hey news for you. I’m watching Kat Williams. Now I’ll be there. Somebody in Cleveland, just freak the hell out.

I’m coming. Relax so A no, true, Well, there is a trailer there, but it’s naughty, so I’m not going to share it with you. The very next night, Sunday, May fifth, That eight’s Eastern. The Roast of Tom Brady here’s a clip. The Man the Arena.

The Roast of Tom Brady Live on Netflix. No helmets, no mercy, no Brady Rule, no problem. The Greatest Roast of all Time, Tom Brady Live, hosted by me Kevin Hart with the lineup of surprise guests. We’re coming for you, pretty boy. I’m unroastable.

Let’s go now. If you were to watch that clip, which you cannot do here because this is an audio podcast, there is no visual component. To me, it looks like an AI generated Tom Brady visually, but that seems to be his voice anyway. Tom Brady The Greatest Roast of All Time at May fifth, eight pm Eastern on Netflix. It’s unclear who is participating yet other than Kevin Hart and Jeff Ross.

Guys, check the calendar. How’s this thing that book yet? Or are you just not telling us? I would hope somebody like Bill Burr, right, Boston comedian, And you don’t hope somebody like that’s going to be part of this, but we’ll see.

All right, Let’s move on to the feisty section.

Last Friday, fifteen audience members disrupted Chelsea Handler’s show. They were making pro Palestine comments. According to a spokesperson for the Richmond Police Department, about fifteen people in the audience showed up at the seven o’clock show, and they disrupted the show with comments described as pro Palestine. Additional officers were requested to the theater just before eight thirty pm. Those officers asked the group to leave.

One of the fifteen refused to leave. According to police, that person was then arrested on charges of disorderly conduct and removed from the theater. Chelsea Handler, you know used to date Joe Coy and Joe once hosted the Golden I’m not doing it. You want me to do it, I’m not doing it. I’m not doing it.

The afore mentioned Kevin Hart was on Sixty Minutes interviewed by Anderson Cooper. Anderson Cooper noted the GQ has reported Kevin Hart’s height as five to five. The La Times has it at five four, and Cooper said, and some other places said you were five to two. Heart joked, well that place is bs. GQ finally got it right.

I’m five foot five like well, a shoe on like a sneaker. Now if I put a boot on, I can get to five to five and a half. Kevin explained why he incorporates short jokes into his routine. He says, it’s talking about the things that you aren’t afraid to laugh about yourself. I’m really confident the laugh that I’m getting you’re not laughing necessarily at me, as if I’m a joke.

You’re laughing at the experience. I’m giving you an experience through a story that’s relatable. And more importantly, I’m saying things that other people just don’t have the heart to say exactly. The joke isn’t haha, Kevin Hart short, it’s just a generic short joke, like a Biden old joke is just a generic old joke, and Biden’s the mechanism to get us there. Anderson Cooper asked Vin Hard if he’s a billionaire, and the answer, none of your business.

So you’re trying to get me robbed. I think the better side to what I’ve done is to create and what can become the new norm for other people in the business of funny, for other people in the business of entertainment, right not just being part of the business, but learning and understanding how to be the business. Cooper asked Kevin Hard about the controversy a few years ago. You remember, Kevin was supposed to host the Oscars, but was forced to step down when some homophobic comments that he had made in social media and in his act had surfaced. One of those comments, quoting Kevin Art here, I’m not homophobic.

I have nothing against gay people. Be happy, do what you want to. But me, as a heterosexual male, if I can prevent my son from being gay, I will. Kevin Hart told Anderson Cooper that want of Pykes helped him realize the impact of his words. Heart told Cooper later on the understanding came from the best light bulb ever.

Wanda Sykes said, there’s people that are being hurt today because of comments like the ones you made then, and there’s people that are saying it’s okay to make those comments today based off what you did. It was presented to me in a way where I couldn’t ignore that in those moments of despair, great understanding and education can come out of it if you’re given the opportunity. None of that seems to include the word sorry, but that’s between Kevin and Anderson. In Australia, comedian ARJ Barker reportedly kicked out a breastfeeding mother from his show, Yeah, and the baby too. It would be weird if he kicked out the breastfeeding mother and left the baby there for the rest of the show.

That would be probably a worst not probably would a worse story. No, he kicked out the breastfeeding mother and her newborn baby. This at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. The seven month old baby made a few gurgling sounds. The mom, Trish, told one of the radio stations, I was sitting there and she gurgled a bit, the equivalent of someone was coughing.

According to the mom, Barker stopped and acknowledged the baby before he correct a few jokes about the situation. Mom says at the end of the skit of a little baby in the room, he said, I speak baby, and she said, take me outside. At that point I was like, I don’t think he’s joking about that. Barker approached the mom for a second time due to the disturbance. The mom said, I was actually breastfeeding when he came and stood in front of me and he was basically telling me to leave.

People were laughing, and I don’t think he was joking, So I said to him do you actually want me to leave? And he said, yes, I do. A group of ten or twelve people, including one man, walked out of the eight hundred and sixty three seat auditorium over the humiliated mother’s departure. A relative of the mom went on Twitter and said, thanks to the countless women and one grandfather who left in protest. Are the countless?

So I guess they are because we don’t know if it’s ten or twelve. Let’s say it’s either nine to ten or eleven women. Not quite countless, but I digress. Thanks to the countless women and one grandfather who left in protest. Atrocious.

You’re in city of Melbourne at an international comedy festival. Have an ounce of respect. A woman has purchased a ticket for night out with her sister and her friend to laugh and enjoy herself, and you badger her and encourage her to leave and get a refund. The mom said she didn’t face an issue when she’s brought her baby to see Dave Hughes. Barker, in a statement This is Great said the show is strictly aged fifteen plus, as clearly stated on the ticket site.

I don’t know if he was yelling like I am, but it’s funnier this way. This show is strictly aged fifteen plus. Has clearly stated on the ticket site she had an infant with her. The baby was disrupting my performance on behalf of the other seven hundred people who paid to see the gig. I politely told her that baby couldn’t stay.

She thought I was kidding, which made the exchange a bit awkward. Feel bad about the whole situation, and stated this on the night more than once. I offered her a refund. Theater staff should not have seated baby in my audience in the first place. All right, this next one spoilers is gonna go sideways and kind of annoyed me.

From Vulture. Joel Kim Booster got to experience the power of the thumbs down this on four to twenty. He was headlining the Kennedy Center as part of Asian af and Asian American Variety show. Okay, we got the set up here. Now this is where I get annoyed.

While performing, Joel Kim Booster was heckled by an audience member who expressed his distaste by throwing out the thumbs down. A photo of the interaction was posted on Twitter that night, and the people on Twitter had fun with it. The photo told the story, says Vulture, with Booster appearing to be midfight with the heckler. Booster tweeted in response that night the fact that I have to deal with this crap at the Kennedy Center of all places. This is not community.

All right, let’s take a time out so we’re all outrage, right, Who is this jerk disrupting Joel Kim Boosters show at the Kennedy Center of all places. That’s ridiculous. But wait, and this is where I don’t want to encourage anyone. But if you turn on Joel Kim Booster now, I wouldn’t be like, Oh, I can’t believe you turned on Jewel Kim Booster. That’s not cool.

You see, the reality of the situation, according to Vulture, was much different. A video of the interaction surface the next day on April twenty first, revealing it had been staged by Booster himself. It was crowd work, Booster says on stage, I need someone in the front to stand up and pretend like you’re a heckler and wear in a fight. Booster then apparently tried out a few outrage poses that’s lame, dude, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame. And I’ve been at shows where there’s plants in the audience to move stuff around.

But if you do so, if you do that during your show, like I don’t know, I don’t know if he would do this, but Dan Booblet junior friend of the show. If I got a Dan show and he goes, hey, do me a favorite, get up and say you know I’m ugly, just so I can slam you back. I’ve been at shows where that sort of thing happens. But if you like, then take that fake clip and put it on social media and act like this is the thing that actually happened. That’s lame.

More feistiness comedian Elaine Boosler. Remember Elaine Boosler was the last time you heard that name? Anyway, She says she was handcuffed and nearly thrown in the slammer is the word being used after showing up to the Dodger game on Sunday. She said she went there to see Dodgers versus Mets, but was stopped by, in her opinion, a power hungry stadium security guard over her baseball theme purse. Have you been to a baseball game in the last decade.

Yeah, I agree, there are power hungry stadium security people. I don’t go to games anymore. Like I’m a Mets fan. You’re not allowed to bring a computer, Dude. I work in New York City.

I bring a laptop everywhere, and it’s not like there’s a good system for like, oh, I showed up at the stadium and I have a laptop here. Once you go to bag check or something not, you can’t bring it a bag. So I just don’t go to the games. Boozler said she was refused entry because the item didn’t meet the venue’s clear bag policy. She was told she’d either take it back to her car or throw it away.

I mean, they’re taking a back to your cars. Not the worst thing now here in New York City. If I went to a Mets game, I would take the subway from my job in Manhattan. There is no car. Boozler didn’t like this.

She felt she should get special treatment after all the free work she’s done for the team over the years, like singing the national anthem and participating in their celebrities softball games. She raised the stink. She was told she’d be arrested if she didn’t leave, and she replied, fine, arrest me. Boosler said she was cuffed and taken to the Dodger Stadium offices to be formally charged for trespassing. As she waited two hours to learn her fate, she made jokes that didn’t land well with the Dodgers police Gestapo whatever they wear.

Gestapo might be a little bit of a strong word there, Johnny Mack. Won’t you relax? Okay? Boozler said the officers were nice throughout the process, which she chalked up to white privilege. Boosler said she was told she wouldn’t have to go to jail she left the stadium, which she agreed to do.

She called a ride, all right, So now we know she didn’t have a car and got out of there. Boozler has called for the security guard to be fired. I wrote a couple substacks. The substack is free. The link is in the show notes.

What’s the substack, Johnny Mac? It’s a blog of sorts. I pontifica about the media. Mondays was all just honestly promoting the podcast company. Today’s is about streaming shows on Netflix et cetera, and a little bit about Taylor Swift.

Speaking about Taylor Swift, I listen to her new album over the weekend. Follow Taylor Swift Today wherever you get your podcast. They’ve been covering all the various deep dives on the Secret Messages. Now I have a theory about the song, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Media? Like that one?

That one stuck in my head. I think it’s about Joe Coy. You know why. One time Joe Coy host at the Golden Globe. But I’m not going there.

You guys don’t want me to do the joke. I’m not going to do the joke, not doing it. I had insomnia the other night and listen to a lot of podcasts. I really enjoyed Joe Rogan with Tucker Carlson. You thought I was gonna say Neil brnna know with Tucker Carlson.

Now, I am not a Tucker Carlson fan. I find Tucker Carlson to be the kind of guy that would chop in Springfield and try and sell them a mono rail. He seems like that kind of person to me. Never met him, but that’s how he comes across. Not a fan but when I have insomnia, I like things that aren’t loud.

And Joe and Tucker had a nice reasoned conversation. They talked about UFOs. I found it interesting. They talked about the homeless problem in Los Angeles and I thought some great points were made by both gentlemen. Then they got into what’s his name, the conspiracy guy, Alex Jones, and I was like, Eh, not really down on this section here, but it was a good listen.

I haven’t gotten a Neil Brandan yet. And at one point I forgot to pull it for today. Maybe I’ll pull it for tomorrow. Rogan started talking about joke thieves. I wrote a note to myself, I’ll pull that for tomorrow.

I’ll put it in the notes. Remind may Do that I’m behind on my Tim Dillon podcast listening. But the folks at OutKick has said that Dylan made fun of Disney adults, quoting Tim Dylon via OutKick. Apparently, Tim Dilan said, all the food in Disney World is bad. Like everything at Disney, it’s bad.

The rise aren’t even good. Nothing’s good. The reason you think it’s good is because you’re stupid. That’s why you think it’s good. Even if you have children, you should be rolling your eyes.

Your kids should be happy, should take a few photos. I’m not an artless person. The kid should be happy. The Mickey Mouse hugs your son or daughter, your non binary child, and you’d take a photo of them, and you’re happy. But that should last a few minutes, and then you should go.

It’s hots lines gross immediately. If anyone’s like, this is the most magical place in the world, anyone who says that, I want so far away from me. I also checked out whatever the new Lonely Island recap podcast with Seth Myers Whiz was It’s not good? I tried to listen to the episode of Lazy Sunday candidly, Seth’s not good at it. The Lonely Island eides might be great.

Seth is not good at hosting a podcast, so I bailed on that and unfollowed it. Conan O’Bryan apparently has Jimmy Carr. I’m guessing that because Conan tweeted at Jimmy Carr is one of the sharpest, quickest minds working in comedy today. So it was a pleasure to dig down deep in the mechanics of how a joke works and why the audience is a genius, and then Conan cheered a link. So that makes me think Jimmy Carr’s on Conan’s podcast, But I have not actually verified that with my own thumb yet.

We’ll keep an eye on this next one. George Lopez’s show over the Weekend at Ego, Man and Casino canceled due to a medical emergency. I tried to google a bit, couldn’t find out anymore. I hope you’re doing okay. George fern Brady’s new specials out on Netflix.

Here’s a clip. I love walking around at night after my gigs. I like to try and get my steps in. But if you’re a women who likes walking at night, I feel like every evening walk is tainted by thoughts of your own murder. He gets in the way of the distressing part.

I feel like you guys are like, no, we don’t think like that all the time. We just are normal, okay. Number one, There’s two reasons I feel frightened a lot when I’m walking around at night. Number One, I have a father who is unnaturally preoccupied with thoughts of my murder. I know that parents worry a lot, but hear me out.

Anytime I phone my dad on a walk, the first thing he says to me is, don’t get murdered and dream bigger and women in the audience. If you get nervous w to night, here’s a fact I comfort myself was and I’m always trying to comfort D with it, and he’s never comforted by it. Statistically, you’re so much more likely to be kelled by the guy you came to the gag weft tonight. So if anything, get your record and shoes on, get out of the door and get those steps in. That is fun.

The jokes are funny, but a long way to go for those jokes. Tighten it up a little bit from Fox News, your home for comedy news. Far left comedian and actor Michael Rappaport delivered a stern message to anti Israel college protesters and a social media post warning them they would help deliver former President Trump the election. In a video rap report said, you know it’s going to be great when D stained Donald Trump. Now I’m trying to figure out what D stained would even be.

D dash dash dash. I mean I have a guess of a four letter where it starts with D But what does that even mean? What is d stain? Am I missing something? When d stained Donald Trump gets elected and I ain’t saying voting for him, but when he does win and he’s gonna when the screaming and yelling that you F word, P word, A word, blow word, miserable, mother F word on college campuses are doing now, Michael, Michael chillax, Dude, that’s one, two, three, four, five words out of seven got bleaped.

You need to chill, he said. When the screaming and yelling that you people on college campuses are doing now, The screaming that you’re doing at Jews about free palace dying, the screaming that you’re doing at Zinus is nothing compared to the screaming you’re going to be doing come November when de stained Donald Trump wins presidency because of you, Because of you, that is Michael Rappaport via Fox News. Okay, sources tell the Hollywood Reporter that this Office reboot thing is actually happening. I suppose that they’ve cast two members of the ensemble comedy. One of them is Sabrina and Patchatory we know her from The White Lotus and Domal Gleeson from the Rise of Skywalker.

He’s General Hawks, isn’t he. Yeah, the redhead guy, that’s General Hawks. The wimpy guy. Well, he’ll be in the new, new, new office. It’s unclear where this will air.

It’s unclear when it will air. But it’s not like we’re back at dunder Mifflin. It’s a different office. Which is the way to do it, you know that way. I don’t know if you said in Scranton you happen to go to Kevin’s Bar.

You can do that kind of nonsense, but it should be its own thing. Oh my goodness, I just looked at the wraw time. All right, I’m dropping the final story. We’re done. I gotta go.

There’s a lot of content for not playing eighty five clips out of the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Okay, I’ll meet you back here tomorrow. How do I lock out? I can’t remember. I’m frenzied today.

What do I usually say here? See tomorrow? I guess I just say see you tomorrow, all right, see tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Did April not just start? How is it the twenty second? Already? It’s almost Mayhei am Johnny Meck with your Daily Comedy News.

Dave Chappelle has been added to the Abu Dhabi Comedy Week. It’ll be at the Eddie Hot Arena May twenty third if you want to attend. It’s his first show in the Capitol, although he has previously played Dubai. Back in twenty eighteen, after he played Dubai, the local paper wrote, well tested material is presented as first time observations as Chappelle languidly guided us into the issues that both amuse and concern him. But behind that casual banter is a supreme technician, a confident comic, knowing when to cut through the laughs with sharp observations and when to provide levity with some good old fashioned toilet humor.

Now, Abu Dhabi Comedy Week is no joke. Listen to who else is playing? Chris Tucker May twenty fifth, Andrew Schultz on the twenty second, The not so canceled Aziz I’m Sorry on the eighteenth, Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee joint show on the twenty first, boss Im Yusef and Mas Grabroni a joint show on the twenty fourth, Tom Sagora on the twenty fifth, and on May twenty sixth. It’s Joe Coy. You know Joe Coy.

He one time he hosted the Golden Globes.

Meanwhile, the Legion of Icee, I didn’t do it.

I didn’t do it. You thought I was gonna do it. The Legion of skanks Festival also know Joe. This one will be September twenty seventh to the twenty ninth in Vegas. But listen to this lineup the eighth annual skank Fest headliners Big Jay Okerson, Lewis, j Gomez, Dave Smith, Our Shafer, Shane Gillis, Tim Dillon, David Tell, Tony Hinchcliff Mark normand But the lineup includes so many people that I won’t be able to read them all.

I’ll read some Aaron Berg, Adrian Apple, Lucci that’s stealing, Bonnie McFarlane, Brian Redband, Chris Gettin, Craig Gas, Dan Cummins, Dan Soder, Dan Saint Germain, Dina Hashim. Again, I’m not reading. I’m reading about a third of the name here, Eddie Peppatone, Eric Griffin, Ester Steinberg, haven’t heard her name in a while. She’s good. Jermaine Fowler, Jim Norton didn’t make the headliner list, Joe DeRosa, Joe List, Keith Robinson, Kurt Metzger Morgan Murphy, Nick Vaderotz a very underrated comic, Rachel Feinstein, Rich Voss, Bobby Kelly, sam j Sean Patten, Steve ran As, Ezy TJ.

Miller, Johannest Pappas, Yamanika Saunders. I mean, come on huge.

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Also out of New Orleans, mL Willman will headline the third annual LGBT l O L…

I like that LGBT L O L. I am scanning the names here to see. You know, unless you’re like super into comedy, I don’t think you would recognize any of these names. But it looks like about twenty comedians here. That’s good.

Brad Williams says NBA star Blake Griffin could easily go from the NBA to Jokes now that Brallike Griffin has retired. Brad Williams told TMZ Sports he saw Blake if and do comedy in Montreal and he’s good, and I hate that because you can’t be good at everything. Williams says, Blake’s got great material to work with. Two. He was a former NBA obviously, and also an ex of a Kardashian.

The Stranger spoke to Logan Gunselman. I liked it. They’re set up here. This is what caught my attention. Logan Gunselman is the anti Jim Carrey, the polar opposite of Robin Williams.

She does not manically gesticulate, does not contort her face, and she eschewes impressions. Rather, she delivers jokes, sometimes quite dirty jokes, and a deep voice, a deadpan, and a poker face. They asked Logan about it, and she said, honestly, I didn’t know was deadpan. For a very long time. I thought I was performing like most stand ups, using inflection and changing my tone of voice.

But I kept getting compliments on my deadpan style of delivery. At first, I was frustrated because it wasn’t on purpose. I’m just kind of a monotone woman. But the longer I’ve done stand up, the more I’ve come to appreciate it. Logan says, I rarely talk about current events or politics, not because I think they’re taboo.

I’m just dumb. I’m impressed by stand up seeing craft good jokes about the news, but that’s not how my brain works. I don’t think any subject is taboo as long as the joke is really incredible. Most comedians who get in trouble for the problematic jokes aren’t in trouble because they made a joke. They’re in trouble because the joke they made isn’t funny.

So audiences are only focusing on the offensive parts of what they’ve heard. People will forgive a lot if it’s a truly excellent bit. You know. That makes me think of Jimmy Carr again. Some people don’t seem to get what Jimmy Carr does.

They asked her what comedian has been the most inspirational and influential for you now? Given the delivery, I would think, I don’t know, Stephen Wright or Mitch Heinberg, perhaps Dmitri Martin. Logan said, I know he’s huge now, but I’ve always loved Nate Berghatzy because he’s also a deadpan, lower energy comedian. Yeah, I guess he is. I love a bunch of comedians who are very different from me, but I’m always impressed by how good they are.

Kyle Kanaan, Lisa Trigger, Chris Estrada, Dave Waite, Chris Fairbanks, and honestly Kat Williams. Good article on Vulture about how long jokes are good, Jesse david Fox specifically called out the Kyle Kanaan fifteen minutes about FA and the Furious Movies that I think is an all timer, Jesse writes kylek When a brief lull sets in at the Minneapolis Acme Comedy Club, the raucous laughter, the crowds reaction of the f seven bid has gradually subsided, giving Kanain a moment to take a beat before saying, I’m just here to tell you one story. At this point, twenty five minutes have passed in Dirt Nap. The setup is humble. Canaan, ever, Midwestern is a humble guy making one of the most ridiculous under cells and stand up history Gossip Corner and on Gossip Corner, Pete Davidson and girlfriend Madeline Kleine are very much in love, says US Magazine.

A source tells US Weekly one of the reasons their relationship works so well is because they’re both independent and give each other space to miss each other. Hopefully Pete can patch things up with Colin. Jose told you that the other day that Colin and Peter having a faery fight of some sorts. Apparently, Peacock is staging the world’s first wildlife reality competition show. Why are they making The Hungry Games Alaska’s Big Bear Challenge?

I don’t know why am I telling you about it? It’s narrated by Reese Darby from Flight of the Concords. Do you hear the rumble coming into my voice? That’s because I recorded Saturday, Sunday, Monday back to back to back without any beverage. Here, got a little DJ fuzz on the voice now.

The Hungry Games Alaska’s Big Bear Challenge follows the bears of Alaska’s Katami National Park as they book up for winter hibernation. Over one hundred and fifty days, the bears battle the elements and each other, using brains and brawn to consume three million calories and gain up to two hundred pounds in nature’s real life survival show. Unbeknownst to the bears, their progress is being tracked and ranked for TV audience with a narration that combines fascinating facts with color. Commentary from Reese Darby ookay, that sounds really expensive to make. Why did you make that blonde medicine?

They’ve been putting out a lot of cool comedy albums. They’ve announced a debut album from Jeff Tice. Jeff Spells’s name Geoff. The album’s title Jokes with a G Out of Me on May seventeenth. Jeff got into comedy twelve years ago.

He went to an open mic and bombed, but never looked back. He’s a staple of the Denver scene. He’s opened for Nate Pergatsey, Dmitri mart and the Sclore Brothers and others. Jokes with a G is a collection of self deprecating stories about being a new parent, second weddings at his dad’s drunk late night calls. So this is where the festival stuff used to go.

As I warned you, the podcast is a little shorter when I’m not playing A million clips were back down to the twelve minute ish range. The eight hundred Pound Gorilla sent some folks out to catch a couple shows at Moontower for Nicole Bayer. The Gorilla says Nicole sett ran a wide range of topics. The New Hour featured jokes about meeting Tom Cruise, not knowing John Cena’s catchphrase what New Fat Is, loving porn, and being single. She also showed off her crowd work chops.

They also sent somebody to see Joe Parra. Unlike Buyer, Para wasn’t matching the audience’s energy or even a quarter of timid and humble. This was the Joe Parra that we came to see. He’s the definition of quirky. Parah ended the show by talking the audience to sleep.

In what has become a signature bit, Para did not succeed in putting the audience to sleep. Instead, he gave us a show that the crowd would certainly recall for years to come. Exclamation point and that is your comedy news for today. If you enjoy the program, tell a friend about it and they might like it too. See you tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Jim Gaffigan told People Magazine it was a huge mistake, and no, Jim wasn’t talking about his bourbon videos. No, he wasn’t talking about that. All.

He was joking about living in New York City with his family of seven. Jim says that his five children enjoyed growing up in New York, but says New York has changed. And with this, I agree with Jim Gaffigan who said it’s different, because now I’d love to walk a block in New York City and not smell weed. You know what I mean, Jim, I know what you mean. New York City in the olden times, I couldn’t stand the cigarette smoke.

I don’t smoke, and they would have no smoking in the building laws, and the smokers would stand at the doorway of the building you were trying to enter. I couldn’t get to work without being covered in smoke and complained of the building. They didn’t give a whot. You’d walk down the street, some idiot in front of you would start blowing smoke into the air. You get covered with So I hated New York City cigarette smoke.

But once they decriminalized weed New York City reeks, that’s not why you’re here. Stop branding. Jim Gaffigan said, when you’re in your twenties, you’re like, yeah, there should be no rules, and then when you’re a parent, you’re like, hey, maybe not every block. And of course I live in the East Village, so I’m kind of asking for it. Neil Brennan was asked if he’s nice.

He said, yes, but I’m also not that popular, you know what I mean. I’m sure there’s people that have some story about me that I’ll read the story and go like that didn’t happen. But whatever, I’m approaching it from a view of like, what are you talking about? When did that become the expectation.

Meanwhile, everyone’s got an iPhone and Steve Jobs was the biggest piece of c…

Neil apparently was accused of being up twenty four to seven texting comedians like Mike Birbiglia. That was said on Burbig’s podcast. Neil said, Ah, yeah, I heard those naughty people climbed that up a little say that Look they’ve gotten their final front line recommendation for me won’t happen again, fellas, won’t be making that mistake again. I’ll keep it for myself. He laughs.

Yes, I don’t have children, and I like sharing the wealth of media. I get to ingest as a single man. Well, I guess I have a girlfriend, but I don’t have children. Neil’s point is when he finds something funny, he wants to share it. Conan O’Brien was asked by the Hollood Reporter between SNL and Late Night, you worked with Lorne Michaels for twenty three years.

Do you think lorn is going to retire? Conan said, if you took an X ray of Lorne Michaels, you would see SNL in his bone marrow. I just don’t see it happening, and I don’t think anyone’s anxious for him to go anywhere. When FDR suddenly died in April from nineteen forty five had been president for thirteen years, there was a whole generation that only knew him. Lorn is the FDR of comedy retiring to his Blueberry form.

I’m not buying it now. My take on this is next year is the fiftieth anniversary. Nice round number, and Lorne Michaels will be eighty. Nice round number. If you’re not gonna get out, then you know, I don’t know.

Do you do fifty two years and retired eighty two? Maybe you get out take the victory lap, pass the Batona, Tina Fey or Seth Myers, whoever’s going to take over this thing. It seems like a great time to get out. New gig for Gaba Glacie. This starts today.

He’s the host of WWE Rivals. You’ll find this on A and E. Rivals is a roundtable discussion series of world a Wrestling Entertainment’s greatest rivalries. Eight o’clock tonight, Christina p spoke to people about her experience with ozimpic, you know the drug that people are using to lose some weight. She said her doctor raised her dosage, but she accidentally took too much.

As she tells the story, the doctor goes, you know what, since you ate right through it last time, I’m going to start you on a higher dose. And I’m like, all right, fair enough, I’m a pig. Christina said. The doctor instructed her to start at ten units, which she said sounds like a lot. I hadn’t been on in a minute.

I’m going to dial it back to five units. She gave herself the injection, joined her friends for dinner and said, dude, I can’t even eat. I feel nauseous. I can’t even eat this bread. My mouth is dry.

I feel like I’m gonna throw up. In the middle of the night, I did. I was super nauseous. I’m like, this is working this time. I’m down like three pounds.

Then she was hanging out with a friend of hers who was a nurse. The nurse was like, how much did you take? Christina says five units, and the nurse looks at it and goes, Christina, you took fifty units. That’s enough for a five hundred pound man. Christina’s reaction, Well it worked.

Eliza Slessinger is taping her first comedy special for Amazon Prime Video. It won’t be taped until November and the premier date will be scheduled after that. Slessinger will also kick off a tour called the Get Ready Tour in August. Somebody had to finish off a press release, so they went with as the voice of the elder millennial. She brings back her familiar, physical, fast paced style, peppered with characters, animals, and insights from stripperhels to gorilla wives to a lesson for gen Z.

This brand new hour is her best work yet? Is it because you didn’t tape it yet? Maybe it’s not. Could we tape it before we declare it her best work yet? Camilnn Gianni will give the keynote address at the Senior Convocation at Cornell this coming up on May twenty third.

To some press person got involved because Kamil is credited as actor, comedian, producer, and Oscar nomine screenwriter who has starred in Marvel Studios Eternals and in the Hulu miniseries Welcome to Chippendale’s is also comedian. I mean, I guess one of these students, who is the chair of the committee said, as a committee, we shortlisted values that we were looking for to speaker, wholesome, empathetic, resilient, dynamic, and trailblazing. Kamil was one of a few dozen names we had flagged. I guess the price was right. Festivals are off the board for a little bit.

Although if you’re in Dubai, a mere Czar has a show and I like this title. It’s called a borderline Funny India Versus Pakistan, a unique show that will bring together comics from India and Pakistan on one stage for a hilarious stand up comedy, improv and roast. That is a clever idea for the show. You’ll find out at the Roxy Cinemas at the Dubai Hills Mall and I get to close that tab now getting my browser back here. Channel four in the UK has postponed making another series of The Windsors.

That is a show that makes fun of the British royal family. Now, if you like things that make fun of the British royal family, be sure to check out Pallace Intrigue. That is a podcast. I’m the writer on it. And you know, the Ky Middleton thing is over and everybody’s back to making fun of Harry and Megan Magan has a new jam out and that is being brutalized by the tabloids and we’ve been making fun of it.

So that’s Palace Intrigue wherever he shows. But Channel four is The Windsors on hold because of the King’s health and Kate’s health. They had announced a fourth series alongside a feature length special to Mark King Charles Coronation. The new series would have focused on the younger generations with their majesties away on tour. Part of the complication there is the actress who played Queen Camilla has passed away.

They had talked about possibly recasting the role. The sitcom has run for twenty one episodes, including three specials, but like I said, on hold for now. British comedian Joe Lycett has revealed that he has planted four fake stories in the British media. He made them up, but they were picked up and covered by UK newspaper and TV. These stories are a footballer soccer player suffering with a bruise in the shape of Prince Harry, a statue of h from UK pop group Steps being erected in his Welsh hometown, research showing that men from Birmingham, which happens to be Joe Lycett’s hometown, are the largest endowed in the UK.

And a story about graffiti artist Banksy creating a mural of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Last year, he shreded what appeared to be ten thousand pounds in a wood chipper in protest of David Beckham’s ambassador role at the Football World Cup. That’s some silly fun for you. Oh my voice is giving out. I didn’t bring down anything to drink, by the way.

Oh that reminds me. I was at the National Donut Shane and I saw Evil bill Ingvall. I had wondered what had been happening to Evil billing Vall. I hadn’t seen him in like a month or so. He’s back and he’s grown out as beard.

But now he doesn’t look as evil. Now he just looks like bill Ingvall with a full beard. You know, you gotta have the goatee to do the evil thing. Anyway, I digress us your comedy news for today, see it tomorrow or