Month: April 2026

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. From the basement where the landscapers leaf flowers are so loud I can even hear them with headphones on behind closed doors. I’m Johnny back with your Daily Comedy and who was a daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. Listen to David Cross on Bill Mooher. I’ve said this before.

If you asked me, Hey, do you like Bill Maher, I think I would just say no. And every time I listen to his podcast, I find it really compelling. He and David Cross just had a bizarre, feisty conversation. It was wonderful. One of the topics they clashed about was over transgender politics, and the quote unquote looney left Bill Maher said, good luck with President Vance.

David Cross had casually mentioned that his nine year old daughter had transgender pals in third grade. Cross had already admitted that he lives in a bubble. Bill mooh were calling an anecdote from Seth Moulton, the Democratic representative out of Massachusetts. As that anecdote goes. Molten said, Look, I don’t want my twelve year old daughter to be on the soccer field and be run over by someone who’s identifying as a woman but is really a boy.

A lot of people applauded him for that. Mar continued, I mean we saw in the Olympics, so and okay born a man now fighting as a woman. Boxer just beat the dog crap out of a woman. The other boxer. A lot of people would disturb by that.

It’s very disturbing to watch because it’s a man beating the crap out of a woman. I’m just saying there’s stuff inside the bubble that could be bad. Cross claimed that he’s seen prepbescent girls kick the crap out of boys. Mar said, that’s what’s wrong with the looney Left. They just die on hills that are unnecessary to die on.

Later in the show, Cross mentioned that his daughter has transgender friends. Mar said, wait, she has trans friends in the third grade. They know they’re trans in third grade. Cross said, well, nobody’s doing this to her. Mar said, somebody is doing something, because eight or nine year olds can’t do anything on their own.

They agreed to disagree, and that’s when more equipped. Good luck with President Vance. As I say to my woke friends, we voted for the same person. You’re just why she loves. This is a case of that.

Cross went, wait what Maer said, we voted for the same person. You’re just why she lost. America’s here this and they’re gonna go. Bill’s right. Eight year olds can’t really make decisions on their own like this.

That’s what most people are gonna say. And this is where the Democrats are with David Cross living in Brooklyn with man Donnie loving, and this is why you know we’re gonna vote for Jade Vance. That’s American in a nutshell. The conversation turned to New York City Mayor Zora and Mamdanni Mar called him a straight up communist. David Cross said, no, he’s not.

He’s not Bill. Bill moore Than talked Cea Weaver. I hope I’m pronouncing miss Weaver’s first name correctly. Ceam unfamiliar with her. She serves as the director of the New York City Mayor’s Office to protect tenants.

David Cross said he had no idea who she was. Mar explained, she’s the head of like we’re gonna fix housing. This is what got him elected. He has not disavowed her, and I could show you all her tweets that she’s put out over the last few years and quotes, and one of them is elect more communists. I don’t think you have to read between the lines, so somebody he stands with and by saying that, and also her other quotes are like all home own ownership is racist.

David Cross said, well, that’s ridiculous. Cross said he would look up more information on Weaver. In a different part of the conversation, David Cross almost laughed in Bill Maher’s face. And I’m not even sure almost is the right description there. He definitely laughed.

Maybe he just wasn’t close enough to his face. Bill Maher suggested that Bill Maher has been soft canceled. Let’s listen, people Sindis want to say cancel. People aren’t canceled because they’re still doing this, or that there are different gradations of it. There’s soft canceling.

I would say, I’ve had some of that happen to me. What soft canceling would be like, we will never give you an Emmy, even though plainly I’ve deserved them. No, Bill, No, you don’t think I’ve ever show they don’t know. What the what the categories of the context or any of that anyway that episode of the podcast is well worth your time. There’s a new performer who has signed up for the Netflix As a Joke Festival, which starts next week.

That new performer is Dave Chappelle, who will perform three shows at the Hollywood Palladium May seventh, eighth, and ninth. Craig Ferguson is going to celebrate USA two point fifty with his new CNN series American on Purpose. Craig explains, one of the greatest things about being American is the fact that what that actually means isn’t always been up for discussion. My idea of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness isn’t necessarily yours. Being American is like stretching nitwear.

It looks different on everybody, and I’m fascinated by the endless variety of compatriots. There is a trailer for it. It’s pretty visual. I went to pull it and I’m like, yeah, that’s not going to make sense for the show, Craig said, I love this place. I want to show you why I became American on Purpose.

Kevin Hart’s sixth film for Netflix, seventy two Hours, will be out July twenty fourth. I didn’t realize Kevin did five movies that were for Netflix. I’d have to look that up, but sure. In seventy two hours, Kevin Hart is joined by Ben Marshall. All right, the please don’t destroy guys, we like him.

Cam Patterson somehow got a second gig after his stint on SNL that I think is won and done. And you know who else is in this Marcelo Hernandez oh Boy. Kevin Hart plays Joe, a married father of three who, after mistakenly being included in an email chain for a bachelor party, joins the group for wild seventy two hours in Miami. Amused in nostalgic for his own wild days, Joe Kevin Art keeps reading the emails, reminiscing about a time when life was more care free. Eventually, he comes clean about the mistake, revealing who he is and he wasn’t actually meant to be on the chain.

To his surprise, the group’s best man, Nick, invites him to join the trip for real. What Joe doesn’t know is that Nick has ulterior motives. He hopes that Joe’s presence in his settled domestic life will convince his best friend Mason to call off the wedding, but Nick’s plan quickly backfires as Joe’s unexpected arrival profoundly impacts everyone involved. I want to know more about who Marcelo Hernandez is playing. I can guess.

I’m pretty sure I know what Marselo Hernandez’s character will be on IMDb. The character doesn’t even have a name, but I’m pretty sure I know what it’s gonna be. There’s also a trailer out for ted Lasso season four, and honestly, I didn’t make it halfway through it. I was just like, I’m so sad because we all love that show, especially during the pandemic, and it just hit all the right spots. I feel like they waited too long, and I’m not sure I’m excited about this new plot.

Season four of ted Lasso will debut August fifth. Episodes drop weekly until October seventh. Season four sees ted Lasso returning to Richmond to coach a second division women’s soccer team. In a trailer, ted Lasso is seen trying to coach his young team. We’re told throughout the course of the season, Ted and the team learned to leap before they look, taking chances they never thought they would.

Anna Waddingham, Juno Temple, Brett Goldstein, Brendan Hunt, and Jeremy Swift all return. They are joined by some new cast members. I don’t know. I mean, I’ll watch, but I have a feeling my wife and I are gonna give each other the do we actually want to watch this face? Things are hot for the Flight of the Concords.

Jamaine Clement is starring in a new comedy series Alice and Steve, will premiere on Hulu on June eighth. In Alison Steve, Alice is devastated when her best friend Steve played by Jamaine Clement, starts dating her twenty six year old daughter Izzy. She’s going to lose her best friend and her daughter in one fell swoop ballas tries everything she can end of the relationship. Unfortunately for her, Steve’s more than ready for the attack. What begins as a perfect friendship devolves into an all out feud.

Gossip connor Wis business Tree, gossip con problem, gossip con Withers list with Johnny mac sully Trees. Pete Davidson has decreased the asking price of his home in Westchester, New York by one hundred and twenty five thousand dollars, just weeks after he listed it for two point seven million dollars. Pete Davidson attempting to move to Staten Island. Pete purchased the four bedroom, three bath home in twenty twenty three for one point nine five million dollars. Not sure what’s going on with Pete Davidson.

He appears to need money, which is surprising. He should have some money. Website the city has a suggestion for that Staten Island ferry owned by Pete Davidson and Colin Jost, the state official in charge of creating habitats for underwater creatures, told the city he wants the ferry. That’s right. Marine biologist and diver Chris Laporta runs the state Department of Conservation’s Artificial reef program.

Porta said, something like a Staten Island ferry would be approaching a naval vessel. They’re gorgeous. They would make a fine habitat for sure. Think about the iconic look on the bottom for divers, because you’ve got that beautiful blazing orange of the navy blue. It would be something should New York could be able to acquire the ferry Laporta would sink it in one of the designated reef zones that can create complex habitats which otherwise do not exist on the flat sandy bottoms of New York Waters.

On SNL a few months back, Pete Davidson said, in case you’re wondering why how to do a show in Saudi Arabia, We’re losing millions on this ferry in New York City today it is the Paragon Comedy Festival. It takes place starting tonight through May second, twelve shows across the three floors at Paragon Sports in Union Square. I love the idea of this festival. It has sold out two years in a row. That is part of the fun of the Paragon Comedy Festival.

Secret lineups now. In the past, folks like Marcelo Hernandez have showed up, and I’m pretty sure we know what Marcello Hernanez did. Other comedians who have shown up at Underground Overground comedy shows have included Sam Marill, Roywood Junior, Mark Norman, David Tell, and others. This year, it’s not just comedy, there’s also live magic. It is the Paragon Comedy Festival, kicking off tonight.

Are you in the mood for some more late night shows. Comedian Ben Gleib is launching the first late night talk show for YouTube. It is called Goodnight with Ben Gleib. It will launch May twenty eighth. The pr is that it’s the first late night show launching on YouTube that was made exclusively for YouTube.

Glebe’s weekly series or Right So Tap the Breaks. It’s a weekly show, not a nightly, is designed to evolve the traditional celebrity focus late night space, offering chats with the usual suspects, while broadening in scope to include top thought leaders, creators, experts, and entrepreneurs, including but not limited to wellness and financial experts, relationship coaches, AI futurists, and psychologists. It will debut ahead of Outside Tonight, another recently announced late night show for YouTube, that one hosted by Julian Shapiro Barnum. Gleeb’s Goodnight will tape one day ahead of the air date and run on his Goodnight YouTube channel, which has two point nine million plus subscribers at the time of this recording. It will premiere Thursdays at ten.

There will be a live studio audience and a wall of screens showcasing the first global virtual studio audience at late night, bringing in real time reactions from viewers around the world. I think I’m gonna hate this, but it’s also innovative, So I salute them, and I support them, and I hope I don’t hate it. Each week we’ll also feature a post show after party episode where Gleebe dives deeper with his guests at additional curated invitees off and over drinks and candid conversation. Keith Harris, the drummer of The Black Eyed Peas, will serve as bandleader and musical director. Some of the guests for season one include Nicky Glazer.

Yeah no way right, Yeah, NICKI tap the breaks, NICKI Also. Other guests include Bob Odenkirk, Tiffany Hattish, Craig Robinson. I thought you quit comedy, buddy. I’m not letting that one go. That was a bad thing you did, and I’m calling you on it.

Sophia Bush, Jeff Ross, Adam Ray, and some others. So that is coming soon. This all reminds me I keep forgetting to bring this up. The Netflix is a joke comedy festival next week. No one has really pointed this out.

John Mulaney is not recording his talk show, and if he’s not making new episodes of his talk show while at the Netflix Festival, that means that show is dead. So I’m just pat myself on the back when I said two years ago that I didn’t think the show was working. Apparently Netflix agrees with me. It could have been good. It needed to be produced better.

And that is your comedy news for today. I’ll catch it tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Callaroga shock Media, are there. I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, A daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry, A cent as the Algorithm loves. Malania Trump has demanded that ABC take a stand and fire Jimmy Kimmel over what Malania Trump described as his hateful and violent rhetoric, calling Jimmy kim L a coward that engages in atrocious behavior. Now, last week, Jimmy Kimmel had done a fake White House correspondence dinner again last week before the incident on Saturday night, Kimmel did this comedy routine last week. In the comedy routine, Jimmy Kimmel had joked that missus Trump had the glow of an expectant widow.

I wasn’t in the writer’s room, but as a semi comedy expert, I will suspect that the nature of that joke was a commentary on the President not always looking healthy. Anyway. After the incident on Saturday night, the clip resurfaced. It was now recontextualized, obviously on social media. Milania Trump’s account wrote, Kimmel’s hateful and violent rhetoric is intended to divide our country.

His monologue about my family isn’t comedy. His words are corrosive and deepens the political sickness within America. People like Kimmel shouldn’t have the opportunity to enter our homes each evening to spread hate. A coward, Kimmel hides behind ABC because he knows the network will keep running cover to protect him. Enough is enough.

It’s time for ABC to take a stand. How many times will ABC’s leadership enable Kimmel’s atrocious behavior at the expense of our community. I’m not going to replay the clip because I’m not looking to stir that pod.

Also, if you’re in the Facebook group, you know about this.

So here’s what happened on my end in Sunday Morning show, I had the Kimmel bit, so if you do want to hear it, it’s there if you want to go back and hear it.

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And then I was watching the Knicks on Saturday night and as the next game was…

And it’s breaking news here and we don’t know what has happened yet, So let me take the Kimmel stuff out. And I sat down and I made an edit, and I uploaded a new version of the show that didn’t contain the Kimmel material. So then on Sunday morning, I’m driving to the National Donut Chain listening back to the show. I always listened back to the show to see if they’re new mistakes, and to my horror, the Kimmel material will still in there. I’m befuddled as to how that happened.

And I’m positive I made the audio edit because A I have it, and B I specifically remember having to move the commercial marker because when you change the audio, the show got shorter, so the commercial marker had to move to where the commercial hole was. So I’m positive that I uploaded it. I don’t know what happened. Maybe I didn’t hit safe, maybe something happened with the computers. I don’t know, but anyway, the point being, I heard the Kimmel clip and I was like, oh no, so the Facebook group knows that I felt truly bad about that, and I come in peace.

I like to make fun of stuff. I like to be rascally. I don’t come in hate at all. So back to Kimmel again. He made these jokes last week, and I don’t think these were violent jokes.

I think he was just goofing about the president’s age and general health. And I don’t think Jimmy would have done the same bit on say Monday Night show. After a potential shooting later in the day, the President of the United States weighed in, saying, I appreciate that so many people are incensed by Kimmel’s despicable call to violence, and normally would not be responsitive to anything that he said, but this is something far beyond the pale. Jimmy Kimmel should be immediately fired by Disney and ABC. Jimmy Kimmel hosted his show on Monday Night and responded.

Jimmy said, you know, sometimes you wake up in the morning and the first lady puts out a statement demanding you’d be fired from your job. We’ve all been there, right. He then cleared up the joke, which is kind of what I think it was Obviously it was a joke about their age difference, and of joy we see on her face every time they’re together, who is a very light roast joke about the fact that he’s almost eighty and she’s younger than I am. It was not, by any stretch of the definition, a call to assassination. And they know that I’ve been very vocal for many years speaking out against gun violence in particular.

The other late night hosts weighed in. Jimmy Fallon said, everybody was talking about how bad the security was at the White House Correspondent’s dinner. The good news is everyone is safe, and I think now security has figured this out. They said, for now on they’re going to put Trump in a lock the owner in case like CVS. All right, fallin again.

When the incident occurred on Saturday Night, Oz the mentalist was performing for Trump, Trump looked at him like, yes, I did have the six of diamonds, but why didn’t you predict this? But Trump wants the event to be rescheduled within thirty days. An FBI director Cash Burttel said he expects the security at the next dinner to be entirely different, because by then he’ll be fired. That’s a solid one. Now people often say, hey, John, how come you know both sides things that I say, because anytime I do a recap there’s nothing from the other side.

Well today there is. Greg Guttfeld said good news Nancy Pelosi was safe as she was wearing a a proof face. Gut felt again. When reached for comment, Joe Biden said, it’s times like these that made me glad I’m already dead. George Clooney weighed in on this.

Now, it’s unclear if the reporters knew they were speaking to George Clooney or if they thought they were talking to me, and we’re like, okay, he hosts Daily Comedy News. We should get a reaction from him. Clooney and I are often confused for each other, so it’s unclear who the reporters thought they were talking to. But it wasn’t me. It was actually George Clooney, who said, Jimmy’s a comedian.

And I would argue that Carolyn Levitt didn’t mean shots should be fired. You may have seen earlier in the day, prior to all this happening, Carolyn Levitt had encouraged everyone to tune in, using the phrase shots will be fired. Clooney continued, saying she was making a joke. Fair enough, you look at that side and go, well, jokes are jokes, but the rhetoric is a little dangerous, and we’ve seen it a lot lately. Triumph, the insult comic Dog was at the White House Correspondent’s dinner, which sounds like something you’d make up.

Nope, he was there and he spoke to John Stewart about it. Were you worried about, to be honest, getting killed, Yes, but mostly because I didn’t want the RFK Junior to eat my carcass. Late Nighters said that multi reports say that the FCC is taking steps towards launching an early review of ABC’s broadcast licenses. This may or may not have something to do with the Kimme Old joke. CNN’s Brian Stelter said that the review could have come as early as yesterday afternoon.

I’ll let you know what happened.

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Meanwhile, King Charles, he’s visiting the President of the United States, an…

I’m the writer on that. I was actually quoted in USA today Pop on my LinkedIn. There’s a link to that. But anyway, King Charles was asked about Matt Friend’s impression Matt Friend not having a good week. Let me play a clip of Matt Friend doing King Charles.

This is not the clip that King Charles was reacting to, but here is Matt Friend doing Charles on Sky News. But I’m trying to figure out other dialects. You know, the King Charles is quite fun when I come here to and I try different voices, and it’s more based off of the crowns interpretation. Now, honestly, that’s not a bad King Charles impression at all. However, Matt Friend attempted to do King Charles two King Charles, and the King said keep working on it.

Ah, let’s all wish Stavros Halkias well, he went on Instagram and said, Hey, bad news. I broke my arm. I fell off a scooter. I wish I was telling you that I heroically stopped a burglar from harming a woman and suffered harm as a result. But no, I flat lay rode a bird scooter.

The wind took my hat almost and I reached up to try and stop it, lost my balance and fell arm first into the street, two hundred and eighty pounds of me directly onto my arm, cracked it smooth in half. It hurts like bleep. I’m pretty fed up, and I’m going to be fed up for a little while. He has had to postpone the taping of his comedy special. He was going to tape one in Baltimore July eighteenth and nineteenth.

He said, there’s just no way for me to do the special any justice right now. I want to do a good job for you guys. I don’t want to put out some fing half assed bs just because I would lose money not doing it when I scheduled. Social media was kind as always. One person wrote, someone tracked down the CCTV footage of this, please it must exist.

Another fan wrote, we can rebuild him the six million calorie man. One of the top comments read, did you immediately pull your shirt back down? Tom Sagora said he almost had Garth Brooks on his podcast You May Recall Back in twenty eighteen, Tom Segora started joking about Garth Brooks joining Facebook. Back in twenty eighteen, Sigora made the joke, what he’s thinking about is all the bodies he’s got stacked in graves in his yard. For sure, He’s probably killed two hundred three other people in his life.

After that episode aired, Garth Brooks’s comment sections on social media began getting flooded by fans of Tom Sagora asking Garth Brooks, where are the bodies? Well, we’re now learning that Segora was contacted by Garth Brooks team to have Gorth appear on Tom Sigora’s podcast. Sigora told this story on Andrew schultz Flagrant podcast. Sigora said, I tried to get Garth on. At one point.

They reached out and they said, Garth’s going to do some interviews. Would you like him to be on the podcast? I said, of course. So they were like, write something that we could show to one of his people. Sigora said he took the request semi seriously, writing back that he’d love to have him on to talk about his career.

Sigora thinks they weren’t even sure if Sigora was the ware of the Body’s guy. Quoting Sigora here, the agent told my guy instead of confirming, didn’t he say something crazy about Garth? I feel like it could go wrong for him. I feel like that guy had said something. Eventually they’re like, he’s not coming on that show.

Too bad. That would have been amazing. So we’re all in this for the money, including Johnny Mack. But you can die a little inside when Kill Tony gets a little more corporate. Fox’s Red Seed Ventures is expanding in a stand up comedy and live entertainment through a multi year deal with kill Tony.

That’s right. Red Seed Ventures, which features is a creator services company within Fox’s two B Media Group, will handle advertising sales for Kill Tony on both video and audio. The Kill Tony Show will be distributed on Fox’s streaming platforms two B and Fox Won. Tony Hinchcliffe said, Red Seed Ventures is the perfect partner for our podcast. They understand our brand, our vision, and the importance of capturing and delivering live content to audiences.

Do you hear all the cool sucking out of Tony Hinchcliff as he said that sentence, Chris presumably the CEO of Redzeed Ventures. Chris and his team have the right tools and resources for us to maximize and elevate our podcasting footprint. Listen yourself, Tony only s and we’re excited to kick off the partnership with even more great comedic content for our audiences. A Red Seed Ventures portfolio includes folks like Nancy Grace and Megan Kelly kill Tony is their major push into comedy. Can I interest you in some comedian trading cards?

The folks at the Laugh Factory have unveiled the first line of collectible trading cards. That’s right, the founder of the Laugh Factory, Jamie Masada, said, from the very beginning, Laugh Factory has always been about giving comedians a stage in a voice. To now see comedy honored in this way with its own collectible trading CARDDS is something truly special. Some of the comedians featured on the cards? Do you want to guess?

Should I give you a minute, who do you think is gonna be featured on the cards? Well? Wrong? Deane Cook? Okay, Now we can draw a line and then go like three quarters of the way down the page.

The first name is Deane Cook, and then Ornie Adams, Tom Dressen, Katherine Blandford, who I think is great, and moster Brownie, who I’ve always enjoyed when I spent time with him. But it’s Deane Cook, Ornie Adams, Tom Dressen, Katherine Blandford and Monster Brownie laugh Aactory President David Feher said, these cards honor the voices, the risk takers and the artists who make people laugh for a living. We’re proud to help them at the legacy of comedy in a completely new way, and that completely new way is with an Ornie Adams trading card. Trevor Noah is heading back to South Africa for South Africa’s Festival of Comedy. Trevor Noah has been named captain of a national comedy team.

Did you guys listen to the comedy draft last week? What happened to her? Trevor Noah said. The goal to grow the South African comedy scene and bring people back to live stand up. Trevor said, we want to create something that gives comedians a bigger platform and reminds people how powerful live comedy can be.

The festival isn’t being pitched as a typical lineup of shows. Instead, it’s being framed like a sports rollout, with Eugene Koza as vice captain and the Tosh Madlin Gozi as coach, all working together to spotlight both established acts and newer voices. Trevor NOAs said, comedy has always been a reflection of who we are. This is about celebrating that voice on a larger scale. Major live shows are expected in September in cities like Pretoria and Cape Town.

Seth Myers and John Oliver have extended their residency at New York City’s Beacon Theater. They already had shows May thirty first and June fourteenth, They will now also do September twenty seventh, October twenty fifth, November twenty second, and December thirteenth. Each show features a forty five to fifty minute stand up set from both comics. Then a Q and A and Angela Johnson will have a new special, Ugly Baby, will be on YouTube Mother’s Day Sunday, May tenth at noon Pacific time. At the heart of the special, as Angela’s journey into motherhood in her forties, she opens up about personal struggles with fertility, pregnancy, and postpartum life.

There is a trailer. However, whoever mixed the trailer mixed it too loud and it’s going to sound like crap on the podcast, so I’m not gonna play it. Angela said, I’m grateful that I’ve been able to do this seven times. My boobs may be falling lower, but at least my career continues to reach new heights, all thanks to my loyal fans. Blah blah blah.

And that is your comedy news for today. I will see you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News and daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. A sentence the Algorithm loves. I’ve been having fun doing the show lately. I mean, I always enjoy doing the show, but I feel like different names have been coming up, except for me talking about Nikki Glaser every day.

But you know, like yesterday, I had just like different people in the mix. That always freshens it up for even me. But let’s talk about Nikki Glaser. She was on the Tonight show because of course she was her PR team getting it done, the agent’s getting it done America saying we’re done. I think, I don’t know, kind of getting that vibe anyway.

Nikki Glaser name dropped Leonardo DiCaprio, as one does. At the twenty twenty six Golden Globes. Nikki Glaser said, what a career, Leonardo DiCaprio has had countless iconic performances, You’ve worked with every great director, You’ve won three Golden Globes and an Oscar And the most impressive thing is you were able to accomplish all this before your girlfriend thirty, which is a fantastic joke. Well, we learn that Nikki Glaser sent Leo flowers. She told Jimmy Fallon after I do it a joke.

I always send flowers to everyone that it made fun of. That was a good sport about it, which shows everybody just to say thank you, because it’s part of why I’m successful at it. The only person who sent something back to me was Leonardo DiCaprio. He sent me three baskets of pasta as a thank you. So funny, so good, and part of me was like, does Leo want to smash?

Which is discheeing up a joke, because no, Nikki, you’re over thirty. Conan O’Brien started joking about returning to NBC. Conan was kind of goofing around with the idea that CBS is selling Stephen Colbeer’s soon to be former timeslot off to the highest bidder. Conan said, well, wait a minute, you’re saying I could go back to NBC. They’d probably let me go on at like three in the morning if I bought the time.

His producer Jeff said, nif that, and ConA said, okay, four in the morning, I could give the Farm Report. Can my production company by the four o’clock time slot on NBC and create her own show and sell all that sweet advertising money that would be coming in at four am. Conan took that a little further and said, I think I’d be great in daytime. I think housewives would love me. Now, this is interesting, His producer said, Conan had that opportunity.

Ross reminded Conan before we went to TBS, we took a meeting with these guys at Debmore Mercury and they wanted to do a daytime show. When we learned that Debmore Mercury’s past and present daytime TV titles include The Wendy Williams Show and Sherry, Conan said, I’d be so lovable and fun as a daytime talk show host. A different producer said, as you’ve aged, your audience has stayed very young. You have a very young, mobile, digital first audience. Conan said, how dare you tell me of aged?

This makes me want to shut down the podcast on the HBO Travel Show immediately because I’m very reactive. I’m launching a daytime talk show. This is hilarious. God, it said, It’s syndicated, and yes it’ll do terribly, but we get to own how terribly it does. I’d kind of love to see that, wouldn’t you.

A late night er spoke to Jeff Ross on the side. Ross confirms that the previously unreported meeting did indeed happened. The pitch would have been for Conan to host a thirty minute syndicated show. So it’s been coming up on the show lately, the topic of bombing boy. Listen to this.

This is from CNN’s America Laughs with Matt Friend. Dude, America did not Laugh with Matt Friend. In the Facebook group, Jeff and I were going back and forth wondering if this was an example of the crowd being micd or not. And I’ve gone back and I’ve listened. The crowd is miked.

Here off this first joke, you will hear a laugh. It will be the last laugh that you hear. And I also suspect, just having been in studios for thirty years, I think maybe perhaps possibly that’s a producer laughing extra loud to goose the room. I’ve done that personally, I’ve clapped extra loud to gooser room, and I think that’s what’s going on here. But here, please suffer with me as we listen to America does not laugh with Matt Friend from CNNA political comedy special, Who boy listen to this?

I am gen Z. We cannot go to war. I look like if Pickleball was a person. Okay, I look like the youngest Kushner brother. I look like I’m in a business club with Baron Trump at NYU.

I am not equipped for battle. I had an anaphylactic food allergy as a kid. What am I supposed to fight with my EpiPen like? I’m not afraid of a grenade. I’m afraid of cross contamination.

Not a terrorist but a loaf of bread. We have no iconic Americans to send to war either, gen Z, Like previous generations sent Elvis Presley and Clint Eastwood to war. But who do we have? Benson Boone and Timothy Shallomey backflipping and Iran? My generation, every moment is an opportunity for content, Like we would do a fit check at the battle when it starts.

I’d get there. Hey, guys, just got to Iran. Check it out. Custom camera pants Dara, Yes, bullet proof vests, thrifted boots from Sheen. It’s giving dystopian sleigh.

Yes, we would find out we’re drafted through an Instagram reel or a TikTok like I’d be naked on my couch doom scrolling. Nothing beats a jet too, holiday, You’re going to war next week? What is happening right now? Yikes? Okay, now, how can we dust this off?

Do you have anything actually funny? John I do? Mass Live noticed that Matteo Lane had posted on Facebook now here Matteo Lane is saying mean things about Springfield, Massachusetts. Mass Live tells us that the references here are to the Roorer Comedy Club at MGM Springfield, where Matteo Lane performed for four nights back in twenty nineteen. Check your calendar.

Apparently, the Rorer Comedy Club is a refurbished armory inside the Casinos Plaza. This is the opposite of mad friend. This is funny. I did make an edit here to eliminate a word that rhymes with maggot. The worst place I ever perform is anyone from Springfield, Massachusetts.

Okay, let’s talk. So the people are trashed, the town is trashed, the food is trashed, the cars are trashed. When the clouds move over, the town. They become trash and I was forced to work in this weird castle they converted into a comedy show. It was also, by the way, all castles are gay.

Nope, am I wrong? Their castles are gay. No, straight guys like I want to tolerate that is a gay thing. And I love castles as a kid. I like a lot of books on castles, and they’re gay.

It’s like Modes Wizard’s Secrets. So anyway, there I am at medieval times and I’m just remember medieval times like, oh God, like I get okay, so I know. So anyway, there I was, and I was first of all, there was like sixty people in the audience. There was in huge rooms like just echoey and terrible, and I was gonna bomb and no one kneho I was. So I did my stupid joke right the like mateial Lane and I walk out.

I’m like, hi, thanks so much. I’m obviously gay.

And then this guy just stood up and went nope and walked out.

I know, which is fine if you want to be there, that’s fine. But the whole time I was on stage, I just kept thinking myself, I’m like, what did you think I was? Going to do for a whole hour. It’s just thanks so much and obviously gay. Close the doors.

Mass Live MGM Springfield declined to comment on the video. According to mass Live, they also tell us Springfield Mayor Dominic Sarno did not respond to a request for comment about Mateo Lane not enjoying his four nights in Springfield. Back in twenty nineteen, some people in the industry are talking about this email that we got kind of late on Friday from the Netflix. Is a Joe Comedy Festival. The big banner says every comedy in every corner of LA.

Claim free tickets to seventy five plus comedy pop ups across Los Angeles. Tickets are limited Reserver spot today and from the conversation I’m seeing on reads, these seem to be well known Los Angeles local scene shows and there are a lot of them. For example, Poncho’s Comedy Night with It Dan o’ carter. If you want to claim tickets for the free event, that free event is May fourth at eight point thirty Boy John Lovettz Love It or Leave It from Crooked Media. May fifth at five o’clock.

That has tickets available. The Two Bears five K Thoms, the Goren Bird Krascher’s thing at the Rose Bowl. I can just claim tickets and join that five K. Dimitri Martin is also a painter at the Fairfax Art Gallery. You can claim tickets to that, and then there’s a big and so many more sections.

So not sure what’s going on here. Some people are suggesting that maybe Netflix just wants to take over the city for a little bit. Now, this particular story you’re hearing right now, I’m recording on Saturday morning. I’ve previously shared with you the Deadline noticed that tickets weren’t going well. Here’s a random show Shane Gillison friends at the Hollywood Bowl on Mayson.

That seems like that could be cool, right, let me pop on here. Yep, I’m on ticketmaster dot com. If you want to sit in section five, Row ninety, standard ticket fifty nine thirty and there appears to be a lot of tickets available for Shane gillis not picking on him, just Deadline had put this on my radar. Let’s see if he wanted to see Dusty Sleigh at the Troubadoor just for a random show to click on. That one is sold out, all right, Let’s pick one more random show.

I want to say how my Flight of the Concords are doing. Sold out at the Greek Theater. I wonder how that’s doing on the secondary market. Two shows May ninth and tenth, both sold out. Now this is interesting.

Now, remember I had told you tickets were six hundred and ten dollars, and I’ve been making a big deal about that. Now I’m on sea geek here and I can get into Flight of the Concords. It’d be sitting all the way in the back, but I can get in for ninety four dollars, so not six hundred and ten. There are There is a six hundred and seven dollars ticket available front and center. But you could get into this thing for buck twenty five if you wanted to row double e two tickets for one hundred and twenty seven dollars including fees from Defector just a wonderful headline.

The headline is a Rob Schneider comedy show. Maybe long and expensive, but at least it’s boring. Let’s unpack this. This was one of my favorite things. I tried to get this in over the weekend, but it was pretty busy.

I’ve had this as the lead story in episodes, but let’s do this here. This is fun, Defector Rights. On the afternoon of April ninth, twenty twenty six, partisans of the Alberta Separatist Movement scored a major endorsement. Rob Schneider posted on Twitter. I officially recognized the new independent nation of Alberta and its separation from the People’s Republic of Canada and the socialist morons in Ottawa, Okay.

Defector Rights time has not been particularly kind to Schneider’s brand of catchphrase comedy. Like a lot of ostensible celebrities in Trump Land, Schneider has become more valuable for his political alignment than anything to do with his work. He’s like if kid Rock were funny, except he’s also not really that funny, Defector Rights. You got the feeling that people tend to like them material because they aligned with the guy. So it makes sense that a Rob Schneider comedy concert would also feel like more of a political event than a cultural one.

I love this, Defector, writes Rivers. Casino in Philadelphia is pretty close to my house, where further away I might have hesitated to go see Schneider perform, but my wife was out of town, and I had accrude enough of the casino’s rush rewards points to earn a free slice of pizza and a bottle of beer, So what the hell? The gig drew a mostly white, mostly male, mostly middle aged crowd myself included lots of guys wearing golf bolos woven in a range of moisture wicking synthetics. One man sported the rare double wallet chain, and more than a few with air jails spiking up the last whists of gray hair, clinging to the front of their domes, wearing sunglasses wrapped around the back of their heads in case it suddenly got super sonny. At eight pm in April in Philadelphia, Indoors Schneider took the stage in a black fedora and a shimmering olive green suit and saluted the freest country in the world, the United States of America.

Defector tells us. Freedom in this case was expressed with a battery of half form rip, touching on stock stereotypes and some fresh racial prejudices. Fans of voice comedy were treated to all the hits Mexican voice, old black lady voice, Japanese man voice, Vietnamese manicurist voice, Southeast Asian or East Indian voice, and of course everyone’s favorite gay guye voice. There were or slurs, f slurs, dusty jokes about tipping. There was nothing about Alberta separatism.

The worst Obama impression I’ve ever heard was followed and turned by the worst Trump impression I’ve ever heard. Greg Gutfeld’s name raised cheers. Robert de Niros Drew Booze. To be fair, the defector guy says, I did laugh precisely twice, once at a joke about single use straws, which Snyder pointed out are not actually single use. You can drink from them and they could choke a turtle to death.

Okay, no, not bad. Rob definitely told it better. And a second time, when a long boring bit about self service Korean barbecue restaurants paid off with a punchline about a Korean whorehouse. His words were reminded where the client tell are invited to do some things to themselves. Still, a pair of chuckles is a pretty pitiable hit rate for a show that’s stretched to an eternity like ninety minutes.

As some of the audience petered out, others carried on full volume conversations and some seem to actually nod off. David Cross says he’s not gonna appear in anymore Alvin of the Chipmunks movies. David Cross has appeared in the first three live action Alvin in the Chipmunks films from twenty seven to twenty eleven. So I don’t know if there’s another one coming. It’s been fifteen years.

You never know. They could reboot it. But anyway, David Cross isn’t going to be part of this. In a new interview, he said I would never work with any of those people again for the rest of my life. They were just so awful to me.

I don’t know what the deal was, but right for the beginning, I was in London because we’ve been asking for a year, like, am I going to be another movie? Because they knew they were going to do a third one? Am I going to be in it? I was in pre production for a show Todd Margaret, and I’m there with my now wife and basically living there. We’re writing when in pre production fifty to seventy five people depended on me and the show’s going for their jobs, and we asked and asked nast.

We don’t no, no, we’re not sure. It could be maybe we don’t know. My phone rang I know that’s my manager, my agent, my lawyer, and this is only going to be really good news, really bad news. There’s nothing in between. My manager goes, hey, you sitting down.

They’re gonna use you in the third Chipmunks movie. They need you to get on a plane on January third. This is around Christmas. What that’s in a couple of days. It was just crazy.

They were doing like crappy things on purpose. Out today on the eight hundred Pound Gorilla, Lisa Lau she’ll have her debut special, Silky Smooth. It’s available for exclusive early access on the Gorilla Silky Smooth, Lisa explores the chaotic stages of adulthood, scheduling fun plans with tired friends, the unfair treatment of single people, being attracted to silly men, and the fear of being a role model to her pretend children. Emil Joachim, remember he was on SNL. I kind of didn’t realize he wasn’t on SNL anymore until I saw this article.

He got a Netflix special. They’re gonna tape in October. Premiere date to be announced. He will also be the Netflix as a Joke comedy coming up very soon from Axios, your home for comedy news. A new Portland dating show uses dogs to make matches.

I kind of hit the word dogs there the way Norm McDonald would have.

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All Right, here’s how this works.

If you’re a Portlander who is romantically and emotionally available and you have a friendly dog, you can audition for about twenty slots at Migration Brewery at the end of May. Comedian Andy Mann says she is screening out psychos. Here’s how it’s going to work. You’re all gonna go to a farm later this summer and all the dogs will be released at once. Matches are made based on which dogs play and naturally vibe together.

Six people will be chosen to go on film dates, plus you’ll go under a makeover. Main said the dates aren’t necessarily meant to spark romantic love. It’s just two people who are meeting because their dogs brought them together. If any long term relationships come from it, that’s awesome. And you’re watching the Kevin Hart funny af thing?

Is that what it’s called? John? You hosts the show. I don’t know Kevin Hart comedy competition thing Netflix. Wabe caught up with Daniel and Delano, who’s one of the contestants.

Daniel describes his own comedy as honest, sometimes too honest, conversational style. There’s so many great comedians in Atlanta, and for them to pick me, I thought it was really cool. It was an honor. He taped his set for Funny af in Chicago. He said, it was my first time in Chicago.

It was cool seeing Kevin Hart there. It was just a really fun experience. I’m doing this because I enjoy what I like to do. I enjoy putting this out into the world. That’s why you create what you create, and that he’s your comedy news for today.

I’ll see tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hi there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, daily briefing on standup comedy, comedian and the comedy industry. A sentence, the algorithm loves America can’t get enough of Nikki Glaser, although I’m starting to think America is like, yeah, enough with Nikki Glaser. Tonight, American Idol, Nikki Glaser will host Taylor Swift Night. Of course she will.

The top seven contestants will perform Taylor Swift Hits on the live episode of American Idol.

Meanwhile, Nicki was on Good Morning America, and pay attention to this.

This is some politicking here. They ask her if she wants to host the Oscars. But listen to her phrasing. She says, I’ll have to adapt if she’s offered it. You haven’t been offered it.

I know you’re campaigning for it. I know you’re trying to resteal your career. I know your agents and your PR people are getting it done and we’re trying to reposition you. But no one has asked you to host the Oscars. Would you is it a dream?

Would you want to do the Oscars? Of course? I mean I think that there’s always just this like, oh, what’s what’s the next thing. I really have to say. I enjoyed the Globes though, because it is it is set up so perfectly for comedy.

It’s a looser night, there’s drinking, everyone’s like kind of casual. Everyone’s sitting at these tables. They’re not all in these just like stuffy rows. They and it’s set up like a comedy club. It’s the lower ceiling.

The Oscars is a harder gig, so I’ll have to adapt in a different way. All the cool is sucking out of the Nicky Glazer room. That is all I hear. The more press she does, the more I’m like, es, I’m to high out for a while, and she’s not going to She’s knocking on Hollywood’s door, and I don’t know, the media seems to want to let her in. I’m not sure Hollywood wants to let her in.

We will find out. Bobby Lee and Andrews Santino have wrapped production on a ten episode season of something called The Bad Game Show. The Bad Game Show is an unscripted comedy series inspired by their podcast Bad Friends, created by Andrews Santino and Nick Krice. The Bad Game Show drops celebrities into a chaotic mix of trivia and absurd challenges, with surprise guests crashed the game and nothing goes as planned, all unfolding inside Bobby Lee’s mom’s basement. The show is being made for digital distribution across Talent owned channels and platforms, revenue being driven by brand partnerships through custom integrations, sponsored sketches, and host red ads.

People are mad at Jimmy Fallon. I think that’s true almost every day of the week. Why are they mad at Jimmy Fallon? Now? Are you watching Survivor?

Now that comedy Survivor’s over, you might as well watch traditional Survivor. Spoilers for last week’s episode. There was this guy, Christian, and he was on the island and he took part in a challenge and he lost in the challenge. This particular challenge in the Survivor fifty which has celebrity stunts. This challenge was designed by Jimmy Fallon, who if you didn’t complete a puzzle in time, you had to vote yourself off.

You had to cast a vote for yourself. Well, Christian went to tribal council and guess who was voted off Christian while voting for himself. Christian looked on the camera and told Jimmy Fallon, this idea you had it’s terrible. No more ideas from you. I look forward to your apology.

Jimmy Fallon did apologize on the tonight show. He even had Christian as a guest. Fallon said, now that we’re all in the same place, so all I have to say is Christian, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry about this. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

It wasn’t supposed to be you. I feel so bad because I love you. That’s an interesting thing for Jimmy Fallon to say. Now. Apparently in the confessional scene with the vote, some stuff was cut out.

Christian said. He said something like Jimmy, Jimmy, I’m not sure I like this idea. What other ideas have been yours? We’re looking at the Titanic and you’re like, you know what, too many life votes were you on the Hindenberg? And he said, you know what, this needs a smoking section?

What other ideas, Jimmy, I don’t think you need any more ideas. I think you could have a seat and let us play Shane Gillis got the crowd going at Game three of the Eastern Conference first round NHL Playoffs. It was the Philadelphia Flyers taking on the Pittsburgh Penguins. Flyers super fan Shane Gillis was joined by team mascot Gritty to ignite the orange before the game. Puck dropped a stupid controversy last week involving Patton Oswalt.

It was April twenty first, and Patton Oswalt marked ten years since the death of his wife. Patton Oswalt posted on Instagram ten years gone by miss you baby. People thought that was rude to Patton Oswalt’s current wife, Meredith Salinger. Salinger posted, what a beauty. She was smart and cool and brave, clearly smart enough to love you and wonderful enough to be adored by you.

And she made the greatest kid on the planet. Wish I had known her. I’m so sorry for the heartbreak you and Alice will always hold. I love you both with all my heart, hugs forever. Tim Heidecker getting a lot of press.

He’s the new face of Info Wars, the former Alex Jones website now being run by The Onion, and they’re having a good time running it. Hideker’s mission. He’s asking, can you change the way people think about a word like info wars? That felt like an interesting question to explore. This even got a profile of Tim Hideker in the Wall Street Journal, of all places, Hidecker and the team are making content for the new Info Wars, including a parody of Tucker Carlson’s show, Tucker Carlson one of those people that is all of a sudden surprised at the President of the United States, as if I’m not going there, Tucker Cross the surprise.

Listen to Tucker Cross’s podcast. One early episode of the Carlson parody says, the American people don’t know this, but JFK didn’t kill himself. Alex Jones is not happy with the parodies. He said, the whole thing’s about defaming me. Just because you’re wearing my shirt doesn’t mean you’re me.

Well, Tim Hideker shaved his head to look a little more like Alex Jones and walked into the new offices. He shared a video on Instagram. Let’s listen to some of it as we head into the break. I’ve made some edits here for pacing and for language. Hey, everybody, it’s Tim Heidecker checking in here.

I’m in the Onion headquarters. Here Jamie Brew eating a sandwich, a bunch of guys trying to come up with funny ideas. How that goes? You know, they got all the posters of all their dumb ideas, women’s bath room, gender identity whatever. Uh.

Just you don’t have to stop because I’m walking around. Go back to business. Are you doing this or what we taking over in for wars? Mister Collins? Is that that what’s gonna happen?

What are we gonna donna disrupt? Right? That’s correct, that’s exactly. We’re gonna do. Well, you’re my leader.

I’m gonna follow you into battle. We’re gonna we’re gonna storm the gates, trial by combat, whatever it takes. Matt Carlin thinks he knows what’s going on. He doesn’t know anything. Whoever you are.

And then they got cambucha. Now they’re making everybody here drink cambucha and it’s making everybody turn into little lizards, turn into little lizards running around Anyhow, it’s been a great launch. We’re excited. Onion his own fire. I couldn’t be happier.

The folks at the Cavalier went to see Josh Johnson. It was a free performance at a college, We’re told. Before Johnson took the stage too, other commie is performed Clay Dickerson, the outgoing student council president and a fourth year student. Dickerson did some local material about local elections. Then the second opener was Rammind Mustafity.

We’re told he’s known for his writing ability and acting chops and did some gen Z related comedy. Okay, and that makes sense. Probably wondering how could Josh Johnson possibly follow those openers Josh had set and included judging people based on how to eat fruit, to broader commentary on politics, technology, and social behavior. A college student went to see the show and said, I really liked the main act. You think I could tell everything He was joking about all of his stories.

He put a lot of thought into it. A different student, a freshman, said, I feel like his bits in comparison to the openers. He had a softer delivery and a lot more commentary on the world in a way that wasn’t always trying to be edgy. He wasn’t trying to use shock humor the whole time. Now I don’t want to shade the up and coming comedians, although I may have accidentally done that already.

We’re comparing a guy that does like a fresh hour every week to two college students opening for him. Yeah, I’m pretty sure Josh Johnson’s going to be better at it. All Right, I got a couple of awful things to talk about from TMZ. Jelly Roll is facing accusations from comedian Nicole Arber. A rep for the Nashville PD tells TMZ, as you’re probably where, there appears to be an ongoing online back and forth between the two.

No charge has been filed. There’s no current investigation underway. TMZ reports that Arbor has escalated her feud, accusing his team of sending her alleged hush money. Nicole Orber has been blasting jelly Roll on social media. Now, I’m unfamiliar with Nicole Arber, so I went to the internet and I’m told Nicole Arber is a Canadian multi hyphenate who works as a comedian, speaker, choreographer, singer, actress, and YouTuber.

She’s released several albums and singles. Then as I was doing that, the autocomplete came up and people have searched the phrase why is Nicole Arbor famous? I’ll push back on the word famous, but let’s accept the premise why is Nicole Arber famous? Here is the description from the interwebs. Nicole Arber, the five to nine comedic blonde bombshell who began her time in the public guy working as a choreographer and a cheerleader for the Toronto Raptors before becoming known worldwide for her viral comedy and music, has officially solidified herself as a commanding voice in modern entertainment.

That update was of February twenty seventh, twenty twenty five. So again, one of the commanding voices in modern entertainment. Nicole Arber in some sort of whistling match with Jelly Roll. I’ll keep you posted.

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Meanwhile, really really horrible here.

I at first I didn’t have the story in this in the you hear me stumbling. I’m not gonna make that edit there. I didn’t have it in the script at all.

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And then I’m like, let me at least mention it.

Let me read it verbatim and flat. From the Guardian, Russell Brand said he had exploitative consensual sex with a sixteen year old girl. At the height of his fame. Speaking about his past actions and appearance on the YouTube show of the US journalist Megan Kelly, Brand described himself selfish and a quote exploiter of women. He said, quote I did sleep with a sixteen year old when I was thirty.

I was a very different person. I was a lot younger and I was an immature thirty year old. He added, consensual sex with a lot of people when there was a strong power differential, as there is when your famous man was the ability to attract women than I had at the time. I think that involves exploitation. I think it’s exploitative.

I recognized that my sexual conduct in the past was selfish and I did not apply enough consideration barely any I suppose, really to how that sex was affecting other people. The Guardian mentions the age of consent in the UK is sixteen, unless it’s with an adult in a quote position of trust unquote, such as a teacher, social worker, sports coach or doctor, in which case the age of consent is eighteen. Guardian reminds us a court has previously heard that Brand is accused of raping a woman in a hotel room while she attended a Labour Party conference in Bournemouth, grabbing a TV worker’s breast and orally raping her after dragging her into a male toilet, and kissing and groping a radio worker after pushing her against a wall. I’ve met Russell brand once in my life. We were at a studio.

We did a recording session. In that one session, he was super cool and personable. But as I’ve shared on the show before, I’ve also worked with Bill Cosby, and when I worked with Bill Cosby, he was the very professional public Bill Cosby. And as I’ve said on the show before, someday Bill Cosby will pass away and I will tell you a story. Let’s not go out on that.

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon will receive an award in honor of Robin Williams. Affleck and Damon starred along with Robin Williams and Goodwill Hunting. Today they will be in San Francisco to receive the ninth Robin Williams Legacy of Laughter Award, presented to them by Glenn Closes nonprofit Bring Change to Mind, as a fundraiser today at the Fort Mason Center. Aaron sent this over from the New Zealand Herald. Aaron noticed that I was on a Flight of the Concords kick and she wanted to know about New Zealand Spy, a six part comedy series.

This follows Michael Brown, a spy who struggles with his real name his cover identity. That’s not important. What’s important is that he and his colleagues at the New Zealand Intelligence Agency or all that’s protecting New Zealand from the Great Enemy of Australia. Now you know who’s in this Brett Mackenzie. He from the six hundred and ten dollars Flight of the Concords tickets.

Mackenzie plays Michael’s boss. New Zealand Spy begins on TV n Z two on Wednesday eight thirty in a lossol stream on TV and Z Plus and on Johnny Max’s Pirate Chip. If you know what I mean. Chris O’Dowd you know him from the IT crowd. He will join Bill Burr in Bender.

Bender is the coming of age comedy that’s shooting in Ireland this summer. Chris O’Dowd will play a self made family man trying to put on a brave face while his business is marriage and his faith begin to crumble amid a brutal economic recession. Bill Burr plays a gruff American record store owner who convinces the RegTech gain of teenage misfits that they’re best and possibly only chance to lose their virginity before graduating high school. Is at a massive open air mass for the visiting Pope. That is your comedy news for today.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Callaroga Shock Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, the daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. A sentence, The algorithm loves Nicky Glazer was at the time one hundred thing of a jig. She was the MC. I’ve got some audio for you, and my question to you is is she bombing now?

To be very very very fair, the crowd is not miked well at all, and you can do the best comedy. If they don’t mike the crowd, it will sound like you’re bombing. But even beyond that, and if you listen closely at times, you will hear the audience laugh. I think she’s bombing here. I think the cool Hollywood people don’t want to accept her, and the cool Hollywood people know that they don’t dare laugh at the jokes.

Oh no, a Katie Perry joke. We better not laugh at that one. We’ll get in trouble. We won’t be liked by the other cool Hollywood people. So this is a tough room, and I think she bombed.

The original was quite long. I’ve clipped it down for both pacing and language. Here’s Nikki Glaser. Hello everyone, I’m Nikki Glaser and welcome to the Time one hundred, the one list you actually want to be on this year. Yes, congratulations to everyone here tonight.

This is such a phenomenal accomplishment for each and every one of your publicists, truly right. Personally, I am just so excited to be in the same room with people. My therapists told me to never compare myself to Donna. Was right. But I’m your host, Nikki Glaser, and this is such a thrill.

I’ve of course hosted the Golden Globes, but this is different because this is time I will never get back, you know, No, I’m kidding, I’m I’m so excited to be on this list. I am. I’m also one of four people on the cover, which is a quarter of my dream come true. Yes, oh my god, I can’t wait for all my friends family to see it three years from now in a dentist waiting room. Well, Tonight’s ceremony is different than most stars studded events because this is an event where the greatest thinkers in the fields of science and technology are asked the big questions like who are you wearing?

And who are you Because We’re just not celebrating actors here tonight, you know, but the scientists, scholars, musicians, writers and athletes that those actors will play hotter versions of in movies. One of the most impressive people on the list is Victoria Beckham. Of course, oh my god. She was a global pop star, now a serious fashion designer. She’s married to David Beckham, She’s rich, successful, stunning.

What’s it gonna take to get you to smile? I mean, really, please smile. You’re one of the only British people who should. Okay, wow, But there’s just so many impressive people in this room tonight. But what really blows my mind is that we have actual astronauts here tonight.

It’s insane. Yes, these brave people who risked it all to go up into space and search for the unknown. And by astronaut, of course, I’m talking about Gail King, all right, Gail. I love you so much. Gail, Really though, Gail, you had the courage to do something that so many people wouldn’t have the guts to do, spend twelve minutes alone with Katy Perry, and we we thank you for that.

The other day, Nikki was on Kelly Rippers show, which is just like the most difficult thing to watch. It’s not my thing at all, and a Verrely, Nicky’s skirt was a little too short. Let’s listen. That is just for you. I know, I’m right the barrel.

Sorry, guys. Yeah, yeah, I don’t mind at all. Oh god, God, I’ll send you a picture later.

And then they want on to have more of a conversation, which I just found naus…

Let’s listen, I realize there’s. This recent development. You have something in common with Pope Leo. Finally, finally, I mean we’ve always both loved hat since can speak Latin, but it’s uh no, we’re both one time one hundred most influential people. Yeah yeah, I me your cover the Pope and mister Bees.

Yeah, I mean that’s extraordinary. It’s so cool. And Nikki Glaser’s. Babyhood, baby childhood, wildest dreams. Do you imagine that?

Never? I mean, looking at that photo, I’m was just like, it just feels like one of those you know covers that you get made at like a carnival. That’s like you can be on time. It seems like a joking Nikki, You’re posing is really good there. Thank you so much do you do you naturally pose?

They do you know how to do that stuff? That’s so deeply uncomfortable. Mark, Oh my gosh, photo shoots. I think things look that comes so natural, But that is one photo out of like thousands, you know, and it’s just so uncomfortable because everyone knows just like to buzz like this, like I can do this, like but then like in these you have to be like, right, this is not natural. You just have to think you’re so cool and like it’s just I think that’s why models, the models are paid a lot of money because of that.

They can’t do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the maintenance. It’s much much, much, much funnier. Jimmy Kimmel, So last night was the White House Correspondents Dinner, and for the first time in recent memory, they didn’t have a comedian host it, so Kimmel decided to have his own. He called his the All American White House Correspondents Dinner, and I have trimmed this down for pacing and also on ABC Network television.

He told the joke that I found a little too naughty for even this show. Those standards differ. Gisha curious. He told a joke about uh, I thing guys like anyway, Here’s Jimmy Kimmel live. From the Trump Kimmel Sinner, Washington, DC.

It’s the All American White House Correspondent’s Dinner. You’re as your host for the night, Jimmy Pival. All right, by, welcome to the twenty twenty six White House Correspondence Dinner. Look at you all dressed up in formal wear, dresses, tuxedos. I haven’t seen this much black since every page of the Trump Epstein files.

We’re gonna have fun tonight on and I’m happy you decided to stay, mister President. And don’t worry if we bruise your ego, it’ll only make your hands look less disgusting. That president didn’t want me to tell any jokes about him tonight, but he also didn’t want to pay me one hundred and thirty thousand dollars to shut up. So here we are. Sorry, mushroom ice.

Baby Ice. By the way, in the unfortunate event that our president has a medical emergency tonight, do we have a doctor in the house? I mean sorry, I mean do we have a Jesus in the house. I always confuse them too. I get why you think you’re Jesus this guy.

Every time he walks into a room, people say, Christ, he’s back. You’re looking good, though, mister President, who did your makeup? Craft? Singles as the President will tell you repeatedly until you beg him to stop. President Trump has accomplished so much during his second term.

He passed new incentives for oil and gas. He put the brakes on solar and wind. That will be your legacy, sir, breaking wind and passing gas. Deadline’s keeping an eye on the Netflix is a joke comedy festival. The Festival Los Angeles may fourth through the tenth.

Deadline’s written about this before, but they continue to say that the festival will be, according to an insider, a story of the haves and the have nuts. Deadline’s update is one validation of netflix investment in podcasting is the Pete Davidson Showline and says after getting to low ticket warnings with the show featuring John Mulaney, Pete Davidson has booked another at the Wiltrin Theater to feature Nikki Glaser, but they say that aside, I’m not seeing many more sellouts on the schedule than I did when we last checked in. Now this is really interesting, Deadline Rights. Strangely, some of the biggest, more key names in comedy are those with the most tickets left to sell as of now, and this was middle of last week. Shane Gillis, Louis C.K.

And John Mulaney are far from selling out their shows at the Hollywood Bowl. Kat Williams as a good way to go at the Into It Dome, as does Nate Berghatzy with his two shows at the venue, and in particular the May ninth show. More from Deadline, Seinfeld’s sales aren’t great for a show featuring Leanne Morgan and Jim Gaffigan hasn’t yet approached selling out the Dolby Wow. Really weird, right, Deadline Rights. The numbers are puzzling when you consider all the records comics like Burghetzie and Morgan are achieving around the world, and as Gillis approaches his huge homecoming show at Lincoln Financial Field, and it’s striking to assess them in relation to the ticket sales of younger buzzy common like tren Marco Sarzi and Jeffer Keiy, who have sold out multiple shows, albeit at much smaller venues.

Very very interesting at some point during the week, I sat in front of the television and watched Kevin Hartz. What is that called comedy competition thing? Funny af that’s what it’s called, right, Yeah, maybe John you host the show you tell us Sorry. As I wrote it in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast group, it’s a good version of the comedy competition show. I’m a comedy snob.

I struggle with these things. Some of my notes. I actually ran my Apple watch timer. We’re seeing ninety second sets. You can almost get by on just pure charisma for ninety seconds.

For a lot of these ninety second sets, you’re seeing that it’s basically one good joke. There was one guy, he had a really great joke about bears, and that kind of stretched out to ninety seconds, and you know, Okay, that doesn’t make you George Carlin, doesn’t make you bad. But like relax, and a lot of the ninety second sets are edited off. Somebody will get off a good joke and a good laugh and then it’s just cut to the end, and you could tell that the set didn’t actually end there, or they just kind of wrap it up. One thing that did make me happy is if you listen regularly you’ve heard me talk about what I describe as the Emperor of Rome syndrome, which means I have heard so much comedy in my lifetime that my brain is fried.

And I do what the comedians do, which is in the back of the room, they’re going, Oh, that’s really good. That’s really funny, but don’t actually laugh. And you’ll see that at times, specifically with Keegan Michael Key sitting at the table with Kevin Hart just saying oh, really good, really good, really good. So if you want to know what I talk about when I talk about Emperor of Rome syndrome, watch that for good illustration of it. Anyway, it’s a nice enough version of that.

Oh and then I got to the end episode one and they were like, and the final comedian moving on is Cliffhanger, And I’m like, Netflix, I’m not hitting play on a second episode to find out who’s going through to the second round. I don’t care that much, so I’ll probably watch the whole thing, but I’m not like obsessed with it. It’s fine. It’s a good version of what it is. I did like Rommy Yusef’s special.

It’s a little long, but the front half is particularly strong. TV Insider asked Rommy about the special, which was filmed in February and is pretty topical. How close to the shoot were your fine seating material. Rommy said, I think there’s the bedrock of the set that are things that I know I want to hit, and I think for me from a performance perspective, it’s really important for it to feel like it’s happening in a way that when you’re filming a special, it’s a tough balance because you’re playing for a crowd that’s right in front of you, and you’re playing for everyone else in their living room. I do try to honor the people that are in the physical room as much as possible, and that is spontaneity.

They shot at the way you doing a stand up show. When you’re doing crowd work, no one in the crowds he’s who you’re talking to unless you’re sitting next to them. So we didn’t even try to grab the crowd. It was more we’re gonna play it as if you were in the room, and by the nature kind of walking in the set and knowing going to do crowd work and I don’t know where it’s going to go. We also felt like we were going to commit as much as possible to one of the shows, and that Special is really just the majority of one show.

Robby said he likes to talk about pedestrian things and TV Insider said, you had talked about meeting the Pope. That’s not a pedestrian thing. Rommy said, My feeling is if you can meet people where they are, they’ll go with you wherever you want to go. And the balance is, you know, my life is not that crazily different except for every once in a while doing something like meeting the Pope, and I think that’s just letting people in on that feeling as well. David Cross sat down with Fox News Digital to discuss David Special the end of the beginning of the end, David said of his audience, I know this sounds corny, but they’re really smart and they’re mostly like minded people, and they know what they’re getting.

At this point, which he described as a balance between silly and political jokes, including some personal stories, offensive humor, and topical bits, Cross said he doesn’t tailor his work for algorithms or soften his material for mass appeal. What Cross actually said was, at this point, I don’t give a hoot. Man, I’m gonna do it, And if you want to come down, show up. If not, whatever, it’s fine. I’m doing my thing.

The audience is happy, come down if you want. I don’t give an f I don’t want to make it too heavily silly or too heavily political. I like to keep a really nice balance throughout the whole thing. As for putting together a set, he says he considers what flows more than a theme. Cross explains if there is kind of a thread or theme is something that presents itself.

I never sit down and go how can I talk about the inhumanity of man? You know it’s not that kind of thing. Gossip Connor wis Business changed? Gossip conn Problem, Gossip Gone Withers with Me? John Mactow and the.

Trees No Pete Today. Gossip Corner features Dave Chappelle. The manager of the San Francisco Giants was out and about and his night ended with a fist bump from Dave Chappelle. Tony Vittello didn’t have a game last Monday. He went to a downtown restaurant that had been recommended by a friend.

He said, to hell with it, I’ll go to the restaurant see. His concern was the Giants were off to a bad start and he thought some Giants fans would be sad. Sure enough, there were Giants fans there. They gave him a hard time and he said, well, what do you guys doing? You having fun?

And they said, yeah, we’re getting ready to go see Dave Chappelle. Ptello bartoned ways with the fans and called an uber and then had a change of heart. He said, it was raining. I called an uber, stared at the uber, canceled the uber, apologized to the Uber driver and asked myself, why am I being so scared? I coach guys and tell them to be scared.

So he bought a ticket to Dave Chappelle’s show. At the punchline, Tello said, Dave was Dave, so I needed to laugh and it was good to do something in the city. Was a lot of fun, met some cool people and got some rest to get ready for this deal. That deal was an interview with MLB Network. At the end of the night, he got a fist bump from Dave Chappelle.

But I don’t know how that part works. Is he sitting in section three oh nine or did he have VIP tickets? How did he get a fist bump from Dave Chappelle? But he got a fist bump from Dave Chappelle.

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Meanwhile, we are told Dave Chappelle secured the perfect deal on an art piece.

Dave was walking around Soho. Dave was on his way to Sidell’s when he spotted artist Lauren Wilson passing by with one of Wilson’s original bees wax sculptures in hand. Chappelle stopped Wilson and commissioned his work on the spot. Wilson said, Chappelle was so engaging. I just gave it to him and told him don’t worry about it.

And Star trek ruin Er Patton Oswalt has a new gig. He will lend his voice to the audiobook edition of Other Worlds Than Things. That is the upcoming novel by Stephen King. It is the final installment in the Talisman trilogy. The series kicked off in nineteen eighty four with The Talisman, a story about Jack Sawyer, a twelve year old boy searching for a magical item that could save the life of his ailing mother, and now the third novel in the trilogy, will be voiced by star trek Ruiner paton osweald To.

That is your comedy news for today. I’ll see you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Callaroga Shock Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, a daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. Now today is very political. If you don’t like the political stuff, check out now. And if you listen to the show and you feel that I’ve loaded it one side or another.

I don’t make fun of the candidate you don’t like or whatever, put the clips under my nose. There’s nothing loaded here now. I think some of my opinions on some of these folks does creep out from time to time, but I’m happy to make fun of everyone. Let’s start with Dave Chappelle. Dave Chappelle was on PBS and he discussed his opinions on the President of the United States.

How do you think he’s doing? He’s joking, right, He’s man, Come on, man, nobody wants to feel this way, and I don’t think anybody war. They definitely didn’t want to arguably lose one. But when you’re asking him please do better, what was it in that moment that you were asking the president to do and to do differently? Well?

I believe in that same monologue, I reminded him that everyone on earth is counting on him. Yep. I think I made the point that the presidency is no place for a petty person. So personally, I would say that, you know, anyone at any type of leadership position or even like a nightclub can being like me. We have to suffer sights and injuries, and we have to kind of just let some things go, and we have to focus on what’s actually important and not cultivating a browth of confusion, which I believe is I believe he’s doing that, you know, you know, for political expediency or whatever reason.

I don’t standard methodology, but I just know that Americans. I think everyone wants to have some semblance of peace, and they get there different ways. Some people think there’s different things threatening their peace, you know, but being a president seems like an opportunity to be a very unifying force, and I feel like perhaps he squandered that opportunity, to put. It likely, THEO. Vaughn also has some thoughts about the President of the United.

States and what American is this helping besides the war, the industrial war complex, What American hard What guy who’s trying to take care of his family or a single mother who’s a nurse who’s going to work and has to get home and get to her kids ballgame and has to be both parents. What farmers is helping regular person? Is this helping? I just don’t know. I don’t understand.

So, yeah, that’s what that’s what That’s what our president’s up to, and it’s baffling. And George Lopez also has some thoughts about the president of the United States. If you had cognitive decline and. You worked at anywhere Barrack. Guns on victory and they said, hey, there’s about the right hand that’s laying out the silverware has cognitive decline, I don’t think should be near the knives now that long he’ll be all right.

You wouldn’t let a valet person be cognitive decline and be working. So we have a guy that’s the leader of the free world with cognitive decline, who who is attacking the war with just on his own. I mean, listen, I always think everybody’s Mexican, you know, so I think Trump, you know, he’s remodeling the house he don’t own. He’s starting with other countries. His son in laws over there, you know, hired them.

I mean, if you have a job where you can hire your family. You have a job, you don’t have a career, because they’re not gonna be like, who’s this fool right here? I don’t know. I just started working Americ Experiences. I told just to come.

But I mean, the idea that this guy could get away with so much and and and have it really kind of go uncalled. On Greg Gutfeld on Fox News Slam Jimmy Kimmel. Kimmel had been on Michelle Obama’s podcast. On Michelle Obama’s podcast, Jimmy Kimmel said, first of all, don’t tell me what my job is. I don’t tell you what your job is.

My job is whatever I decide. My job is whatever my employer allows me to do. That’s what my job is. Greg Gutfeld, it’s all Jimmy Kimmel. Look, he’s right, he doesn’t have to listen to criticism.

But then don’t complain about it. You could do what you want and we could tell you what sucks. You could paid handsome links to take it like a man and stop blubbering. People get criticized every day who make one one hundredth of what you make in menial jobs, and they don’t complain about the complaints. You don’t even know criticism.

Try being a right winger for a year, got fail at it. I only complained when one of the my friends get shot and killed and you make up stories about it. Gray continued. My feeling is he’s hopeless because he’s decided he’s too important to be funny. He’s incapable of self deprecation.

He can’t poke fun at himself, and he lost the ability to be silly. I’m a fool. I’m the first admitted. I embrace it. The less important you think I am, the better it is for me.

No one mocks me more than me, and most of the insults directed to me from critics they took from me. So there, people are upset about Ramy Yusef. Earlier in the week, Romy had stopped by Sesame Street and hung out with Elmo. Here’s a quick clip, Sanna monicum, everyone, I’m Ramy Yusef. Hell is here, mister Ramy?

What is salamikm Well, Salam means peace and it’s a way to say hello in Arabic. Raymond Arroyo on Fox News said I wish Sesame Street would stick to teaching kids about letters and numbers, and then mister Royo went on to say some other things that I’m not going to repeat. They were not very welcoming. Ramy Yusef was on the view and said, I feel for them, right. I think they’re worried about Arabic immersion and it’s got to be tough because I think there’s supporters of the president.

So imagine your president on Easter is tweeting praise be to Allah and al Elmo saying Habibi. That feels threatening. Rommie said There’s been lots of languages on Sesame Street and there’s been no backlash to those, so it actually really did surprise me. John Oliver share that he’s not a fan of the British Royal family. He was asked about the future of former Prince Andrew.

John said, long term, if I believed in Hell, it would be there. I don’t know where he’ll end up. I had very little respect for that guy before all of this, so I don’t know where he’ll end up, and the marrow of my bones, I don’t care. By the way, you can keep up on the Royal family by listening to the Palace Intrigue podcast. I’m the writer on that.

We cover this stuff all day, every day, twice a day. There’s a lot to talk about the British royal family. John Oliver also talked about Sarah Ferguson. Remember Fergie, she used to be married to former Prince Andrew and all John Oliver said was and he couldn’t give a flying s word. Alex Jones is no longer in charge of Info Wars.

The Onion is taking it over. Comedian Tim Hidecker is the new face of Wars. Let’s listen as we head to the break and I have cut this down a little. Hey, everybody, I. Got some breaking news for you.

It’s looking very likely that Global Tetra Heaton will seize control of Info Wars in the coming days. The folks that Global Tetra Heaton have asked me to step in as to run the show over there and become a big part of the future. So we’re. Exploring. Sorry, my name is Tim Heidecker.

Just here to let you know that I am now in charge of Info Wars. It’s an honor to take over the reins and chart a new path towards the future. We’re looking forward to relaunching the site soon in the next coming months and We’re not really sure what we’re going to do with it. We’re talking about all sorts of ideas. We were playing around with it being a real estate broker service, or a cryptocurrency exchange market, a place to, a place to or pictures more most like a drop box account.

Not sure, a lot of ideas, but very excited to take this on. UH and just want to wish everyone extend a hand of friendship and UH and grace as we proceed through this process. It’s not going to be easy, but I can assure you that we have our best intentions in mind. We are in the city of brotherly love and I want to extend that sentiment to all our friends over there. Longtime fans and consumers of the info Wars products, got some exciting products coming as well.

We’re working with a company that will enable you to turn your urine into into gold. So stay tuned for more information about that and stay with us. Stay stay updated on info Wars for more information as this story develops. Hulu is adding the Handsome podcast to their platform. Handsome features Tignatsaro off which Fimster and Mae Martin Arii Shafier caught up with the La times about the end of formerly known as this is Not Happening.

Not entirely true. John, you kind of were loose with the phrasing there, but you guys know what I mean that thing Ari he said, I’m excited to show some people new people. Even with the live shows, I’m always like, let me show you two headliners. You know, a mid level guy you’ll know, and let me show you two people that you just don’t know. That’s a good way to put together a show.

That’s what stand up is. In New York, LA and even Austin. There are some killers no one has ever heard of, and they’re destroyers. So I’m excited to show people. Call Um Tyrell because he rules.

He’s so funny and his story’s great. Tony Hitchclub’s story was really good. He’s a monster storyteller in every sense of the word. Now and Roywood Junior is so smooth it makes me feel like I’m needy and insecure on the stage. Sam Talent is going to be one people talk about.

Jim Brewer is so great. Steph Tolev crushed it with something fun and interesting and wow, this is really tough. Every time I’m doing a promo for the show, it’s like, what about this person? And this one having big jay ogwriston back was key because he’s on the Mount Rushmore of this show, and we have three of those on the end, Jay, Miss Patt and Ali Sadik. We couldn’t Sean Patton now because he was shooting something and Bert Krascher had a movie or something with his daughter moving, or maybe was a graduation.

The LA Time said it would be funny if Bert Krascher paid to have a graduation move so we could do your show. Alre he liked that idea. I said, yeah, just pay the school to move the graduation for a week. Don’t you make like fifty million dollars a year, It’s so funny. He used to be crazy.

You think of someone making one hundred million dollars and now there are like ten comics who make at least half of that and without doing press, and it’s really cool. I haven’t paid for lunch. It’s so long. And Ali Sidiq has become so huge. He’s like the success story.

The storytelling show in its entirety, everyone got helped a little bit, but Ali kind of broke off these stories. And to see him so successful and still so smooth. It’s really cool. You can’t be niche doing arenas, and there’s this independent boom that’s not gonna wait for anybody. So it’s another big win for us.

It’s our turn in the whole story of this.

Speaking of Oli Sidiq, he and his daughter, chef Jaydon Genes, are taking own…

The restaurant is an all day cafe neighborhood market created by James Beard finalist Chris Williams. When william stepped away for his daughter’s birth, Gaines stepped in a chef and general manager and has been running it like it was hers ever since. Williams approach Gaines earlier this year about owning the business. Alsidiq will be part owner and will ACKed in a support role and out of San Francisco. The sf Gate tells us about the Wash.

The Wash was a one night recreation of the legendary venue Brainwash, where Ali Wang got her start. Ali Wang had described Brainwash on Hot Wings, saying it was literally half cafe, half laundromat, one hundred percent homeless shelter. Brainwash hosted open mic nights from April fools Day nineteen ninety nine to its closure in twenty seventeen. MC Tony Sparks said, it started out as an insult oddly enough, because I was the monopoly of open mics. I wasn’t welcome to the community, but the open MIC’s all blew up really fast and got popular.

They were calling me the godfather, like they had a bow and kissed my ring to get in. Comics came from all around to be there to learn, how can I get work where it needs to go? Stuff like that, The Gate tells us, as one can expect from an open mic, the quality was let’s just say mixed. We’ll see if they do it again. Spark said, I hope this is a kick off of bringing back that same energy we had back then when people worked together and everybody rallied around one another to make this whole comedy thing work.

Let’s see. I hope they do bring it back. And that is your comedy news for today, See tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shock Media. Hey, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, a daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. So much to get to today and tomorrow and tomorrow is going to be very political. Consider yourself quite warned. Let’s start with Nicky Glazer.

Now, last night she hosted that Time one hundred most influential people. Think we’ll get to that over the weekend, but she was also on Good Morning America, and I want to start here and all let’s listen together as we hear all the cool get totally sucked out of Nikki Glaser. You can just feel it rushing out of here as she talks to the folks on Good Morning America. Let’s listen. She has a new standard special called Good Girl.

Some people think I’m bath. I just want to be like, well, there’s like, you know, this material in the special is like it shows you both sides of it of like, you know, growing up as a woman, you’re just told like you need to be a good girl and behave and fall in line.

And then there’s this part of me that’s always just loved speaking freely and…

But then you know, sometimes that just makes people think like, oh, she’s naughty, she’s bad, you know, like even coming on here, they’re like, you know, this is a PG show, and I’m like, like, you know, like they don’t know what I’m gonna do because I’ve been bad before, but I can. Yeah, just. Star somewhere’s the Sweating bowet. Can we take a look at a PG version clip? Yes, I think we found one.

Okay, it was hard, But. What I don’t want when I get a facelift is anyone being like, that’s so sad she did that? Why does she do that? And the answer is is because it’s gonna lead to a better life for me. I’m on TV a lot, I’m gonna look amazing, I’m gonna get better roles.

I’m gonna get paid more for those roles. I’m gonna get fire emojis from Kristin Cavaleri, Like it’s do you know how good it feels to have Boen Yang write DIVA with nineteen a’s underneath the picture of you looks like he just fell asleep on the keyboard because I was so slay. I get that once again, so relatable. Oh my god, so relatable. Right, I’ve got more from that whole interview, But boy, that does not sit well with me.

It just it’s so forced. Nicki’s new special, Good Girl is out on Hulu today. Now you know my take on the Hulu specials. The Hulu specials, the one you get when you’re slightly past peak. Prove me wrong down the list, tell me the one that doesn’t count.

Nicki said, I couldn’t be proud or of my fifth hour special, Good Girl. I put everything I had into this hour of material. Luckily, for me, so did everyone who worked on it with me. I truly saved the best for fifth Good Girl was developed and honed over two years on the road. It over two hundred and fifty shows, and it was one of the best nights of my life to get to perform this show for the very last time in my hometown of Saint Louis in front of family friends.

And I already missed these jokes, so I can’t wait for them to have a second life again. Eddie Murphy was honored at the fifty first AFI Life Achievement Awards at the Dolby Theater in Los Angeles. A lot of people showed up for him. Kevin Hart opened up the tribute to Eddie Murphy, saying he’s our power, he’s our friend, and even you white people think he’s your friend. And he’s done a lot to show you he’s different.

He’s given us the gift of laughter across generations. Stevie Wonder got a standing ovation and said Eddie finds our common funny bone and allows us to show how much we’re alike. We found each other because he would imitate me. On Saturday Night Live, he made fun of a blind man and he made the world laugh. Stevie then did an impression of Eddie’s impression of him, which got big laughs from the crowd.

Chris Rock said that without Eddie, many of the people in the audience might not exist. He said, like Brendo, you’re the first black man, and just be cool, to just be yourself. It was just you. Mike Myers came out in Shrek makeup and said, I never got to work with Charlie Chaplin, I never got to work with Alec Guinness, I never got to work with Peter Sellers. But is my absolute honor to say and be but to tell my kids that I got to work with Eddie Murphy.

Eddie himself said, I just turned sixty five. Sometimes I’ll let you wait until you’re really old to get this award. Mel Brooks was eighty six when he got it. Francis Ford Coppolo was eighty six as well. The oldest person ever get up here was Lillian Gish.

She was ninety two. She was very gracious when she came out and got the ward. If you made me wait until I was ninety two, I would have come out here and said, if everybody Dave Chappelle gave a nice speech, this is a little long. I’ve made a couple of minor edits for language, a little. Cultural inside baseball.

I know this is true for me. I think this is true for many Black people. Often have fear for their heroes. You worry about them because so many of our heroes a persecuted or or shot down. When I was fourteen years old, Role came out and I would go in and would watch it every day after school like I was taking a class, like I knew somehow this this was something really important in my life.

Throughout my wife Eddie Man, I kept my hole on you. You would the ball I was washing, You would the hero that I worried about. Man, when you came up, it looked lonely. It was just by yourself. It was you, It was Michael Jackson, it was Rick James, and it was Prince all of whom all home on deceased, and somehow, somehow.

You survived Tonight. When I came into the theater to do this thing, man, I saw a bunch of my hero for Saul Martin and our sit here with Robert Towns and all these people and for my life, and saw you, Chris, and I’m like, man, this is crazy. All the. Sole survivor. As I’ll circle back to Dave in a second.

Bill Burr also got up there also along also edited for language. Reverse diversity, higher for the evening staying at backstage, I’m going on after Stevie. Wonderful. This is what I get for going over to Hulu. I’ll never forget this.

Right here is my entire comedy Smithsonian Library. I’ve been watching him since day one. Eddie. When I first I want your first album, I didn’t even know who you were yet the rose behind your ear and I had been listening to Richard Pryor and I was just like, well, here’s another black guy, he must be funny too, So I bought it and I became a fan. And a lot of people don’t know this, but I actually saw Eddie on the Raw tour.

I was only eighteen years old and I was really getting into stand up, but I never thought it could be a comedian. It was the day’s before the. Internet seemed a million miles away, and I went to go see like the Weather Girls opened up, I remember that, and I went with my boss from the warehouse and he did a bunch of. Blows and he thought he was gonna have a heart attack, and he’s like, I gotta get out of here, and I’m like, well, we’re not missing Eddie’s you gotta ride this shopping. So so, like two weeks before I went to see Eddie, I saw Rodney Dangerfield the same place, a break Woods Universally Antitheater, and it was an all white crowd, which didn’t strike me as weird because I’m white as hell.

And I just sat and I watched him. It was all good. And I remember when Eddie did his show, I immediately noticed that he was making everybody laugh. And I hadn’t even thought about being a comedian. But then it would get stuck with me, and I was thinking, like, you know, this guy’s he’s doing it, he’s making everybody laugh.

If I haven’t become a comedian, that’s what I’m gonna do. So a few years later I become a comedian and I’m like, I’m gonna be like I’m gonna go out before of a black crow. And I went. Up when I did my thing, and I got off stage and I was like, I am. Never gonna do that again.

Black people are me. They don’t let you get to the stage. They already heckle. They are going to have a good time with or without you. That is what I learned well.

In that education that you gave me, and for me as a comedian that I wanted to make everybody laugh. You’ve been such an amazing, amazing inspiration. I totally think you’re ardably the most talented guy who’s ever been in this business. I don’t think there’s anything you can’t do, and I’m looking forward to more of your work. I love you to death.

Thank you so much. And who’s an honor to work me? The brother Charlie Bressing piece, good night, Thank you. Enan Thompson said for me personally as someone who grew up dreaming about making people laugh. Eddie wasn’t just an influencious proof, proof that you could come in young, take big swings, streuss your voice, and leave a mark the last decades.

Tracy Morgan said, one of the greatest performers ever is going to be playing in a sketch with me. My god, what if he’s funnier than me? And as we all know, Eddie Murphy does an incredible Tracy Morgan, Eddie Murphy did more for red leather outfits and cowboy boots than any black man in history. Now, I said, I’d circle back to Chappelle. Dave talked about bringing back Chappelle’s Show recently.

I did an interview that made head last because I said I was considering doing Chappelle’s Show again. And I told him, I said, if you’d asked me that a year ago, out and say, you. Know, Chappelle’s Show was a very difficult. Show to do, but it was one of the greatest experiences in my life. And one of the reasons that it was great was your brother Charlie.

Yeah, and I don’t do this bit, but. Charlie used to tell us stories all day about your. Ascension fame, and I. Just want you to know, man, every time he mentioned you, he always said how cold he was A he man, he said, I done, you know, And and Charli met the world to everybody on the said A couple of weeks ago on when I reached out to Eddie and asked him if I could come by and businessman and I went. Through his house.

I didn’t know it was the day after his sixty fifth birthday. What was beautiful His grandkids were outside of playing in the pools, laying and laughing like like you know children. Was pure joy. And me and Eddie for the first time talked about Charlie since he passed. I hadn’t seen him or really had an occasional to speak about it.

And in the midst of the conversation Eddie, Eddie was. The one that said, thing you should do like a Chappelle show movie. Or something like that. And I said, and I said, man, that would be tough that your brother, so let it. If I do it, Man, do Charlie Parks.

And that job away. Can you imagine if Chappelle’s show comes back and Eddie Murphy is on it, that will be amazing.

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In other news, Netflix and Stavros Alkiis they announced a deal.

Stavros will do a comedy special titled Uncle Stove. He’ll tape it in Baltimore tonight and tomorrow. That was quick. John Mulaney’s wrapping up a week in London. The folks at the Times went to go see him.

They compared this show to the previous show Baby Jay, which detailed how mulaney had been leading a double life of drug addiction. The Times writes, this new show, mister whatever is the sword had settled in, I hate to say it lesser what came next spoilers. John gives a quick topical overview of his homeland that suggests great things ahoy and amusingly mean takedown if Jeff Bezos celebrates how billionaires are now at least blatantly bad on the surface. But after that electric opening, the show proper rarely finds topics as fertile, The Times writes, even comic greats can lack perspective. That happens here a few times.

He segues Niffley from a story about a son’s birthday party at a trampoline park to a routine about RFK junior, but even with moments of insider gossip, but all goes on too long. He over commits to a neat but niche rumination on the way demonic possession is handled it in horror films. Likewise, this big finale, comparing his terrible but terribly expensive new washer dryer to the old machine he grew up with, feels like a Reddit post run a mock Yikes. The domestic stuff drags after awhile, no matter how powerhouse his performance.

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Meanwhile, Mullaney races too fast over his bigger, less domestic ideas about…

The crowd, whatever their accents, gave it a huge response at the end, but mulaney is a wildly gifted comic and this is far from his best show. Three stars out of five. John is at the London Palladium through tomorrow night. Comedy stock Market. Thank you, Burt Reynolds.

Now every week on the Comedy stock Market, we try and find value, we buy low, we sell high, and boy, I really wish I could be positive and have some by recommendations for you, but nothing is exciting me this week. I actually have some cells and we’re gonna get political here. Our first sell Joe Rogan, and I’ll pare them up with THEO Von. I’m gonna put them together, especially with THEO I have here in my notes. I’ll just read you what I wrote my notes.

And this is the thing about me in real life. I have no patience for stupid people. And that Theovaughn is out there now, like and we’ll get into this tomorrow and tomorrow’s very political episode. That Theovann’s out there now, like, gee whiz, I can’t believe this is all happening. Dude, do you remember who the president was before Biden?

Come on, man, you can’t act like you didn’t know. And same note on Joe Rogan. So I want to sell THEO sell Rogan, and I also want to sell Nikki Glaser. I just the coolness is just oozing out of her. With all the press he’s doing right now, she’ll have a little bomb.

People will be like, oh, Nikki’s special, It’s so funny, but the cool is just leaving. So a pretty negative comedy stock market will sell Joe Roban, can sell the Ivonn and sell Nikki Glaser. I’m behind on a couple of stories. I had a pre tape a few episodes during the week to accommodate my colin oscoby. The results were good, by the way, no issues at all.

I encourage you to get one. Stay healthy. The preps sucks understatement, the klonoscopy itself. The anasthesiolost comes in, you’re out one second later. Suddenly it’s half an hour later, and then you go to McDonald’s and get a two cheeseburger mule.

Oh, there is nothing better than McDonald’s after colonoscopy. Joe Rogan is one of the stories have to catch up on. Last weekend, he was in the Oval Office with President Trump. Rogan stood directly behind the President, who was seated at the desk. The President signed an executive order to ease restrictions on medical research and treatments using psychedelic drugs.

I’ll let Joe Rogan take it from here. I want to tell everybody how this happened. I sent President Trump some information. We have a giganta gopia proplem in this country. Obviously, in twenty twenty four, more than eighty thousand people died of overdoses, horrible number.

And there’s more than five million people that are addicted to opiates. Right now in this country, with one dose survivor gain more than eighty percent of people are free of that addiction. With two doses, it’s more than ninety percent. I sent him that information. The text message that came back sounds great.

Do you want FDA approval, Let’s do it, And it was literally that quick. These drugs are illegal not because they’re harmful. They’re illegal because of the nineteen seventy Controlled Substances Act that was passed by the Richard Dixon administration. They did it to target the civil rights movement and the anti war movement. It’s not because these drugs harm people.

And for fifty six years we’ve lived under those terrible conditions. We’re free of that now. We’re free of that now thanks to all these people that you see next to me, and thanks to President Trump. Now THEO vonn who just sold some of his stock, he said this thing I’m about to play. You can ask him what he’s talking about.

Here. I’m not even gonna comment. Here is THEO von talking about. I’m not really sure. Here here’s THEO.

I think that that’s what I think. Some people like it. You get so like some people get so powerful or like there’s a lot of gay folks out there. I think that they’re they only veer into that or change get in a different sexual like things that are outside of what would be normal for them. Maybe that because they get so much power, you know, like the Romans did it, like you know, they say that they did it.

Or there’s people like financial gaze power gays. There’s like I’ve heard that before. Oh really, no financial gays and power. Yeah, they get so rich they can afford to just speak, yeah, or like blind gays. Tonight on CNN, it’s America Laughs with Matt Friend.

Matt Friend, known for his impressions of Donald Trump and other political figures, headlines a comedy special from Washington, d C. On the eve of the White House Corresponds Association Dinner. Those folks do not have a comedian hosting this weekend, so normally that’s a big event on the comedy calendar. No longer. Matt Friend said, we are an increasingly divided country and world.

From my show with CNN, I aim to poke fun at everyone and allow room for all to laugh in a Johnny Carson spirit. For decades, from Sid Caesar and Carson to Norm MacDonald and Bill Maher comedians have helped us reflect on public life in America. This is going to be a truly fun, unpredictable night of impressions, satsire, and surprises, and I can’t wait for people to see it. Being somewhat familiar with Matt Friend’s work, I will be shocked if it’s unpredictable. Last weekend, during Kill Tony WrestleMania in Las Vegas, the Undertaker showed up and dropped Tony Hinchcliff with a thunderous choke slam.

The wrestling news source Your Home for Wrestling News said it didn’t stop there. As soon as Tony Hinchcliff hit the table, the Undertaker’s music blasted through the venue and the crowd erupted. Moments later, Triple H rushed out, trying to revive Tony Hinchcliff as the sea inspiraled into full WWE madness. The wrestling news source tells us Kill Tony WrestleMania promised surprises, but no one expected it to turn into a dead man ambush, complete with a choke slam, interest music, and total chaos that left Tony Hinchcliff wiped out. Yeah, that was completely unpredictable.

Who would have seen that happening at a wrestling event? Out on YouTube today Zach Newey Tower’s debut special, Twink Death. Twin Death delves into towers religious Midwestern upbringing, the slippery slope of sobriety and medication, why gay is always a compliment, and his deep skepticism of marriage, especially when it comes to the questionable return on investment of straight weddings. Twink Death on YouTube and that is your comedy news for today. Tomorrow very political.

I’ve got some audio from the likes of Dave Chappelle, Theo Vaughn, George Lopez. I’ve got some comments from Jimmy Kimmel. I’ve also got some comments from Fox News. So if you don’t like the political stuff, I will see you Sunday. I just consider yourself warned.

Everybody else see you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Welcome to the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. I am your host, Johnny Mack. Now what we’re doing today is we are drafting comedians the way say football teams draft players. We’re building rosters, making strategic decisions, and yes, overreacting to every single pick in the Facebook group Delly Comedy News podcast group.

Here’s how this is going to go. We have five teams. Each team will draft five comedians to build out their roster. Your roster needs to include one headliner, two feature acts, one wildcard, and one legacy pick. This is a snake draft, so we’ll go one through five and then five through one, et cetera, et cetera.

Now you might be cynical and say, Johnny Mack, did you have a routine colonoscopy scheduled for this week and you needed a bit to retape a show? Perhaps, But it’s also the NFL Draft today, so I thought this would be fun. This is something we used to do with serious million years ago. We used to have actual comedians come in in draft teams. Some years it worked great.

Some years the comedians were just annoying and wouldn’t go with the bit comedians can be annoying. So what I’ve done here is I have asked the AI to take on several personas. I am not steering this. This is all AI, and I’ll explain to you who the teams are and who the mindsets are. And I have not read this ahead.

I’m generating this as we go. So welcome to the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. Let’s meet the teams. Team Analytics. They’re all about the numbers, ticket sales, streaming views, social media reach.

They’re not here to be cool. They’re here to win. If you could sell out an arena, they’re interested in you. If you can’t, you’re. Not on their board.

Next up, Team Purist all about stand up comedy as an art form, craft, respect, legacy. Team Purist values what happens on stage. If you built your career on TikTok, they don’t care. Next up, Team Chaos. They want headlines, controversy, viral moments, big personalities.

They are not building the best comedy lineup, they’re building the most talked about comedy lineup. Then there’s Team Industry. Think of this about the suits, the agents, those guys, versatility matters, stand up acting, writing, podcasting. It’s all about your portfolio. Team Industry is thinking about long term value, not just tonight’s show.

And then finally, we have a team alternative the indie room, the old comedy scene. Bai has gannarrated the draft order. With the first pick, Team Analytics will be on the clock. And with that, let us begin the twenty twenty six comedy Draft. With the first pick.

In the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Team Analytics picks Kevin Hart’s Kevin Hart goes number one overall. Now think about it. This is Team Analytics, Global star, Massive Box Office sells out arenas roast of Kevin Hart movies, TV shows, Netflix Show Safe pick Yeah, effective pick. Yes, Kevin Hart goes number one overall in the twenty twenty six comedy Draft. What do you think?

Facebook Group, Daily Comedy News podcast group. All right, it is time for the second pick, Team Purist. You’re now on the clock. With the number two pick in the comedy Draft, Team Purist takes Dave Chappelle. There it is statement pick, legacy, influence, undeniable on stage.

Purist is not messing around. Good solid pick there. I thought Dave Chappelle would go number one. But you can’t argue with Kevin Hart. Dave Chappelle goes number two.

Team Chaos. You are now on the clock with the third pick in the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. Team Chaos picks Shane Gillis. Oh, that’s a strong pick, huge fan base, little edge, a little controversy. Team Chaos playing for the Internet and I got one of the biggest draws out there.

Good solid pick. Shane gillis number three overall in the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. Onto the fourth pick it is. Team Industry is now on the clock with the fourth pick overall. Team Industry picks Alli Wong.

Wow. Wow, interesting pick there, But they are Team Industry. Ali Wang does stand up acts rights. Let’s see what Team Industry is up to. A lot of I don’t know about that pick.

I mean, there’s so many other comedians on the board. And Allie Wang going with the four overall. What do you think? Facebook group, Dally Comedy news podcast group. And that puts Team Alternative on the clock and with the number five pick overall in the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Team Alternative picks Nikki Glaser.

Wow, interesting choice. I don’t really think of her as Alt, but the Team Alternative is telling me she kills it ROAs is fearless, she could play mainstream rooms, n be edgy and it’s a smart bridge Team Alternative. Wow, I have some other names that I thought they would have gone with there, but okay, So to recap your top five picks in the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle, Sheen Gillis, Alli Wang, and Nicky Glazer right onto round two. This is a snake draft, so we’ll go in reverse order. With the sixth pick in the comedy Draft, Team Alternative picks Chris Fleming.

Yeah, that tracks unique voice alt scene favorite.

And now you’ve got a show with Nicky Glazer and Chris Fleming on it.

That’s a pretty weird, interesting show that you probably want to see. That puts Team Industry back on the clock. With the number seven pick, Team Industry picks John Mulaney, absolutely a steal at number seven. Their line up so far, Ali Wang and John Mulaney. Surprise, Mullaney didn’t go in the first round, right, but Mlanie’s still sitting there at the seven.

Good pick there. That puts Team Chaos on the clock. Here in round two, and with the eighth pick overall, Team Chaos picks. Andrew Schultz. SNeW again.

We’re making lineups here Team Chaos with Shane Gillis and Andrew Schultz. That’s a hell of a one to two podcast clips, controversy all together all right. With the number nine big overall, Team Purist is on the clock. They take Bill Burr. Oh no, the Bill Burr haters are still mad that Bill Burr played the Riod Comedy Festival.

But Bill Burr joins Team Purist with Dave Chappelle. That’s a killer lineup. No gimmicks, no fluff, just stand up. I mean, whatever you think about Riod, Chappelle and Burr. That’s quite a team.

And the final pick of the second round it’s Team Analytics. Can they select Jim Gaffigan. Yeah, you can’t argue with that, another guy who could have gone in the first round. Clean, massive audience. They’ll sell you some bourbon and you’ve got a lineup of Kevin Hart and Jim Gaffigan.

A little artistically wonky, but boy, that is a very very sellable lineup. We’ll take the break there and we’ll come back and we’ll look at round three of the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. All right, as we head in a round three, let’s just reset where we are, what we’re building. Each team is drafting five comedians, one headliner, two feature acts, one wild card, and a legacy pick. We are almost halfway through.

The Team Analytics has Kevin Hart and Jim Gaffigan, Team Purist has Dave Chappelle and Built Burg, Team Chaos has Shane Gillison Andrew Schultz, Team Industry Ali Wong and John Mulaney, and Team Alternative at Nicky Glazer and Chris Fleming. On to round three. It is the eleventh overall pick, the first pick of the third round, and Team Analytics picks Matt Rife. Wow. The Analytics crowd looking at it, and they’re dipping into a younger viral audience.

Matt Rife brings a huge social following. What do you think of that, Kevin Hart, Jim Gavigan, Matt Rife. That’s gonna set a lot of tickets. On to the twelfth pick overall. Here in the third round, it’s Team Purist, and Team Purist is on the clock and they pick.

Mark Marin. Yeah, that fits stand up credibility, long career, not flashy, very on brand. For Team Purist, Mark Maren joins, Dave Chappelle and Bill Burr. Next up, Team Chaos on the Clock and they select theo Vaughn. Yeah, that makes sense, Andrew Sheltsching gill Us, Theovaughn chaotic think of the social media love that pick, all right?

The fourteen overall it is Team Industry. Team Industries. Just a bunch of suits. They don’t care, They just want to make bucks. And they are picking Trevor Noah, Global appeal, hosting, ability, mainstream recognition, Team Industry thinking about more than just stand up.

Good solid pick. And the final pick of the third round, it’s Team Alternative and they. Pick Robbie Hoffman. Yeah, Robbie, that absolutely makes sense for a Team Alternative, unique boys, strong point of view. Still a little weird that they’ve got Nikki Glaser on top of their team, But Nikki Glaser, Chris Fleming, Robbie Hoffin a solid team.

That is the end of the third round. On to Round four. Most teams now have their core. We’ll see if it gets a little more interesting here. We’ll see what the wild cards who they come out with.

Team Alternative on the clock in our Snake Draft, and with the sixteenth pick Indie Comedy Draft, Team Alternative picks Maria bamf for all time, all choice Original, deeply respected and this is a lineup that other comedians are going to respect. Very interesting. Team Alternative is Nikki Glaser, Chris Fleming, Robbie Hoffman, and now Marie A. Bamford. And that brings us to the seventeenth pick.

Team Industry. They are a bunch of suits and they’re gonna go with Hasan Minhaj. Yeah, that makes sense. It fits their whole thing, stand up storytelling, a little edge TV presence. Hasan Minhaj joins Ali Wong, John Maliny, and Trevor Noah.

Now with the eighteenth. Pick overall, here in the fourth round, it’s Team Chaos on the clock and they select Berg Kraser. Of course they do take your shirt off, everybody. Bg Kraser joins Shane Gillis Andrew Schultz at THEO Vaughn. That’s kind of a thing, right, Yeah, that makes sense, right, Team Purist and now on the clock and with the nineteenth pick overall, they take Wanda psychsw That’s.

A I don’t know what to say about that pick. I’m not sure I like that pick by Team Purist, Chappelle Burn, Aaron Wanda Psych Not sure that totally goes sir right, but let me know what to think Facebook or Daily Comedy News podcast group. And with the final pick of the fourth. Round, it’s Team Analytics and they select Gabriel Iglecias. Of course they do massive fan base, global draw, ticket sales, analytics doing what analytics does.

Kevin Hart, Jim. Gaffick and Matt Rife, Gabriel Iglesias, the analytics people are going to make bank. And with that we are up to the final round of the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. Here in this round, you were taking a legacy a comedian. Team Analytics on the clock.

They have crunched the numbers and they select with the twenty first pick overall in the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Jerry Seinfeld, the safest pick, imaginable, name recognition, history, global appeal. You can’t are argue with that. And I think that Jerry Seinfeld still sitting there at number twenty one, and that brings us to the twenty second overall pick. Here in the fifth round, it’s Team purist to their final pick is Chris Rock. Yeah, I mean, how is Chris Brock still sitting there in the draft?

Right, one of the most important voices in Stand Up, Great Lineup. Okay, Team Chaos, it is your pick. With the twenty third pick overall in the twenty twenty six in comedy Draft. Team Chaos picks Ricky Gervai. Wow, all right, they just threw gasoline on the fire.

Love it. That’s a fun show when we get to the end of the round, or remind you of who all the teams are. But we’ll move on to the twenty fourth pick in the twenty twenty six comedy Draft. It’s Team Industry there on the clock and they go with wait is this right? Yeah, I’m told this is right.

Okay, they have drafted a famous dramatic actor, Adam Sandler. I’m not really sure what they’re doing that. He’s not really a funny person, but okay, that’s you know, Team Industry. I guess they figure they can get a Netflix deal out of it. Okay, makes sense.

And then it is the final overall pick in the twenty twenty six comedy Draft. Team Alts on the clock and they select Comedy Survivor winners. Sarah Silverman. Sarah Silverman a great closer, alt roots, mainstream crossover, still active, still evolving, Perfect for that roster. Sarah Silverman the final pick in the twenty twenty six comedy Draft.

So what do you think? Facebook Group, Daily Comedy News podcast Group. Let’s take a look at the teams again. It is Team Analytics. Kevin Hart, Jim Gaffigan, Matt Rife, gab Iglesias, and Jerry Seinfeld.

That’s gonna sell a ton of tickets. The only knock Maybe it’s a little safe, not much edge there, but if you want to sell tickets, that team’s gonna win. A team purist for the comedy snobs. Dave Chappelle, Bill Burr, Mark Marin, Wanda Sykes, and Chris Rock all command respect in the comedy industry. The downside, they’re all very different stylistically.

That shows a little all over the place onto Team Chaos. This team is insane, sing Gillisanders Schultz, the ovon Berg, Kreischer, Ricky Gervais. You want clips, you want headlines, you want controversy. The Internet’s gonna love this team. If your goal’s attention, this team might dominate the entire Comedy League here, Team Industry.

Now again the suits that they don’t care, They just want to make money off people. And it’s Ali Wong, John Mulaney, Trevor Noah, Hasan Minhaj and Adam Sandler. This team can do everything stand up, acting, hosting, writing, No weakness there. Every pick makes sense. It’s a brand, it’s a network, it’s a platform.

It’s a smart team. Not sure how exciting it is, but you know that’s how the industry guys go. And if that’s not cool for you, then root for Team Alternative. Nicky Glazer, Chris Robbie Hoffman, Maria Bamford, and Sarah Silverman. Smart, weird, sharp, unpredictable.

How do you think they did? Go over to the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group. I will post the teams there so you can comment. And that is a wrap on the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft and hopefully on my colin Oscarbae see tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hi there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News and daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. We’re gonna get a little political today. Dave Chappelle did that big interview with NPR and they asked him about the Ria to Comedy Festival. Dave said his concerns faded when you looked at the broader relationship between Saudi Arabia and American entertainment.

Dave said, the United States government does business with the Saudis. Netflix does business with the Saudis. The Saudis finance tons of movies. Dave said, as soon as a black man can make money off the plantation, they try to tell you the money is dirty. NPR host Michael Martin pressed Dave Chappelle on weather taking money from the festival conflicted with his public image.

Dave said, if you want to be that pure about money, then stop driving your car, stop eating, don’t use your cell phone. Everything’s tethered to something that’s just terrible. Jimmy Kimmel called out comedians who have supported Donald Trump. Jimmy Kimmel was on the Michelle Obama podcast. Michelle, the wife of former President Barack Obama.

Kim All believes there are comedians who are pretending to be something other than what they are in search of an audience. You know, you look at some of these comics, you know, maybe they’re not doing so great, and they think, I got to pick up this maggot sorch and maybe people will support me just because of that. Michelle Obama agreed, saying it’s important for people to know that for some of these folks, this is a game, this is a hustle, you know, more than you would think. Kim All added more than not. Michelle said, we saw it in the White House, especially around the holidays, and there’d be a set of people who would demonize my husband on TV and then be in line for a picture with their grandchildren, essentially saying, my granddaughter loves you, and you know, if you believe in some of the things that you believe, I believe this is about someone I wouldn’t get in the line.

So there’s a lot of wink and nodding that goes on. Kim Will said, on some levels it’s hard to understand, and others it’s easy to understand because when it comes down. People make their money, they seem willing to compromise in a lot of ways. Worries me most is when comedians warp their sensibilities for whatever reason. Kim All thinks because he didn’t start out as a political comedian, that’s why he gets more blowback.

He explain, I think I get a little more backlash than somebody like maybe John Stewart, who came out of the shoot as a very outspoken liberal, because I didn’t talk about politics because it wasn’t really part of my act. I was doing sports jokes and this kind of stuff. I’m mostly in The Man Show, and people were like, well, you betrayed us. I’ve always been like this, whatever your parents are, usually that’s what you are. And my parents were very liberal people, you know, very very liberal people, and I’ve always been I’ve never voted for a publican in my life, said Jimmy.

Kimmel has just always been of this mindset, and I think people wore just shocked to hear because you assume somebody you like thinks like you. Jimmy said, I have some very close friends who think very differently, and I’m okay with that, and I understand that people have different life experiences and believe things. I know, I personally believe things to be true for a long time in my life and realized that they weren’t. You have to allow for that. I posted something on Instagram about some of these, primarily podcasters, who are now having second thoughts about who they endorsed for president, and I’m grateful for them to being honest.

It’s the coward normal rule of Maggott and never admit when you’re wrong. First of all, it’s the opposite of Christianity. I mean, the basis of the whole faith, you know, was asking for forgiveness, and that seems to be cast aside. But I welcome those people. I don’t think there’s any way forward if we don’t send your letters to Jimmy Kimmel.

Radar Online wrote about the upcoming end of star trek runer Stephen Colbert’s Late Show. By the way, I was on LinkedIn and I saw somebody posted like, hey, I just got a production assistant job at the Late Show, and I screen grabbed it and I sent it to Mike from the Letterman pot and I’m like, should we tell her? I mean, I guess it’s good to have five weeks experience than none, but I’m happy for you. I digress. A network insider tells Radar Online the grim realities of winding down a major production like The Late Show or playing out in a pretty dark way.

It’s all created a dark, toxic vibe of the show and on the set. Because these network back writing and producing jobs are hard to come by in New York City, people stay in them for decades if they can. You can practically smell the misery and pain that hang in the air. Radar Online said there was a rumor That’s star trek runer Stephen Colbert, had signed a thirteen and a half million dollar deal with Netflix for a seven episode series. That would just be insane.

Roteen and a half divided by seven is like almost two million, not quite lazy math. That’s insane. Why would you do that? There’s no reason to do that, and that’s why it’s not true. John A source said Stephen hasn’t yet outlined a plan for what he’s gonna do after the show ends and who on the staff will come with him.

There’s been chatter for a while that he can start a podcast and even transform himself into a left wing answer to Chucker Carlson, but that’s not what Stephen wants. I feel bad for the guy. Starfleet Academy got canceled and he can’t do that wonderful job he was doing. Is the voice of the computer. Radar Online quotes a source talking about Steven’s reps.

They were just as shocked by the cancelation last year as Stephen was. Now Steven needs to face the reality he’s gonna have to completely reinvent himself if he wants to avoid the fate that James Corden suffered, which is a total loss of relevance among American audiences when his show went off the air.

Meanwhile, John Oliver he’s worried about the future of Last Week Tonight bec…

Oliver was at the twenty twenty six Garden of Laughs All Star Comedy Benefit, and he said, I’m worried about my show all the time, regardless of mergers. Mergers are gonna have to get in line in terms of the constant anxiety that I have. I’ll get to you when I have some time, corporate overlords. I got a lot of self loathing to go through first around, the show’s not political enough today. I know.

That’s why I’m going to tell you about w camal Bell. He’s on the Who’s with Me tour? Come ou said, I’m termally online. I’m an information junkie. I keep up with the state of the news.

I’ve been on stage and out of my phone go off his news broke and be like, did everyone else see this? I’ve developed a style and enacted a point of view and a brand, and if I don’t talk about the news, people are going to be like, what happened to come out? Did Eve a stroke? He talked about last year when he was supposed to play the Kennedy Center and things one sideways. He said, the funny thing is I was in DC proper at a place formerly known as the Kennedy Center the day after Trump announced he was taking it over.

The new tenants hadn’t moved in yet, but everybody was preparing for it, and so when I was there. The thing that was so interesting about that shows a lot of people were wondering if I was going to cancel it, and I did the show. Because I was on the plane, I found out who was taking over but as a comedian, we’re in the best place to do the show in a place like that because we can talk directly to what’s going on. Looks on people’s face as I left, because people they were mourning for what was gonna happen with the Kennedy senator going away. James Austin Johnson visited Notre Dame.

His trip was recapped by the NDSC Observer You’re home for comedy News. James said, I was on a tour of the campus. You could suddenly see like these biblical statues, which makes you lean. One way that I learned Joe Biden had been here for a wedding last year, so I’m confused. James then riffed on Trump’s attempts to cast Biden as the wocus person ever, saying, I don’t know about you, guys, but when I imagine the wocas person ever, a ninety seven year old white grandpa is not what I envision.

He talked about SNL. He thought SNL was made up of liberals, but according to James, the people behind the show are all kinds of people, a true cross section of America. As for looks, he joked, I hate when comics are handsome. Comics are supposed to be ugly. If you’re hot and thing of doing comedy, please just go in to finance comedies for ugly people.

I know I’m hot, but it’s the exception that proves the rule. Not sure what’s going on here, but there was a press release. Comedian Paul Eliah’s stand up special good Son is being released on Watermelon Plus. Now you think I’m making up Watermelon Plus, but I am not. I was unfamiliar with Watermelon Plus, but I was also unfamiliar with Paul Elia.

Watermelon Plus on their website says we champion fearless cinema and deliver powerful, entertaining storytelling without compromise. Apparently it cost eight bucks a month. Let’s see what’s on this thing? Oh? I clicked shop thinking I could see some specials and they want to sell me a hat.

I don’t want a hat. I’m going back to the story, all right. So here’s what I know. What’s really going on. Good Sun is going to be released on Watermelon Plus.

In the wake of promotional restrictions, Paul faced due to a brief mention of Donald Trump. So as the news goes here, Originally only planned as a YouTube special. The premiered April eighth. The self financed hour long special features a Trump impression followed by a joke about Paul’s family support for the president. The inclusion limited the promotional of the special, but rather than edit the material, Elia chose to also release it on Watermelon Plus.

According to what is in front of me, Paul said, While I’m hugely disappointed the Google decided to restrict my special from paid promotion, I’m very proud of partner with Watermelon Plus, who have been very consistent in their mission of freedom of expression? Is that a thing? If you tell a pro Trump joke, YouTube won’t take your buddy. I’m not sure what’s going on here. I’m confused by this.

Anyway, go to Watermelon Plus find out for yourself. In Good Sun, Paul explores what it means to balance cultural expectations with personal freedom. A first generation a rocky Assyrian Paul Iliad delivers a sharp and hilarious hour of stand up navigating identity, family dynamics, and the challenge of forging an individual path while stay connected to one’s roots. Happy Earth Day Zach Alfanakis is hosting a series on Netflix about gardening. It is titled This Is a Gardening Show.

It debuts today with six episodes, of each episode between fifteen and twenty minutes. This Is a Gardening Show is described as a refreshing and whimsical take on gardening, blending comedy and an earnest appreciation for the planet all the people live on It. No quote from Zach, but one of the producers said, I kind of think as gard was struggling. You’ll see a grown man honestly gas when shown the proper way to plant the seed. This is peak TV in Los Angeles tonight.

It is Comedy gives backs Alt Comedy All Stars. You have to read that sentence slow. There’s just something weird about the a’s and the season that sentence. That’s right. It is Comedy gives backs Alt Comedy All Stars.

I think the s’s are a problem there too. At Comedy gives backs all to Comedy All Stars. It’s John Hamm and David Cross. They join a hilarious lineup featuring Star Trek Ruiner, Patton Oswalt, Bob Odenkirk, Brian Posain, Mary Lynn, Rice Cub, Doug Benson, and a bunch of others. It’s at the Montalbon Theater, named after Ricardo Montlebon, who, of course was Cohn who helped make Star Trek great and now Star Trek Ruiner Patton Oswalt is performing in the theater.

Hmm, maybe Shatner will come by. I don’t think Shatner is going to come by, but maybe he will. You never know. Comedy Gives Backs Alt Comedy All Stars seven thirty pm tonight, All pro Seeds Benefit Comedy Gives Back. Ticket prices start at fifty bucks.

One hundred percent of ticket sales support the organization’s mission. That’s great. A good news from Jeff Ross. He says he’s doing beautifully after recovering from colon cancer. He told NPR my health is one hundred percent.

I just had my chemo port removed. It’s really important for people to know that I’m doing okay. I’m better than doing okay, he insisted. People don’t worry about me at least right now. I feel very fortunate.

And to the people listening who are going through chemo, you can do it. That is your comedy news for today. Coming up on Thursday, it is the twenty twenty six Comedian Draft. Five teams of comedians will be drafted. It’s like the NFL Draft, but different

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media Scraps, Season ten, episode nine, My celebration Original Lair Day in April fifteenth, twenty twenty six. Hi, I’m a Johnny Mackin boy. I was kind of getting paranoid that they were just going to spoiler spoiler spoilers, that they were just going to kill off doctor Cox and be like and that’s how the series ends. We never had any intention of doing any more than these and there’s your life lessons for you people. I was terrified they were going to do that, but they did not.

As season ten, episode nine ends, doctor Cox still with us. However, it’s a chaotic day at Sacred Heart, forcing the doctors and interns to take on burnout and some life changing decisions and the relationships with each other. Had a couple surprises along the way, and we had two more people returning from the original series. Jordan the wife or are they actually married, I can’t remember. They lived together, they used to be married.

Maybe they’re not pro married, but whatever, they’re in a relationship. Jordan came back and also the Janitor appeared. Now I was annoyed because I saw spoilers for the Janitor, and then on the day of the show. You know who spoiled it the Scrubs social media account. What are you doing?

Why are you telling us the janitors in the episode? But yes, the janitor was back. The medical emergency of the week is a man who passes out at his daughter’s rehearsal dinner. She’s getting married tomorrow. Elliott wants to fix him up so he can go to the wedding.

The problem, he’s got a hard condition. He needs a pacemaker. Now he will have to miss the ceremony. Turk suggests holding the wedding in the hospital. Doctor Park officiates he has been ordained by quotes a very progressive online church.

There’s a dig about getting married in a hospital, and Carla points out I got married in the hospital. That shut that down pretty quickly. JD meets a potential new love interest. She’s surely a quirky visitor looking for a nice, sensitive guy who’d rather watch a musical than a football game. He’s kind of clueless that she’s interested in him.

Churck says, you’ve got no game. But it turns out one of JD’s patients is Charlie’s grandma. He invites her to a complete stranger’s wedding reception. She accepts they’re starting to vibe a little bit. JD gets a text from doctor Cox.

The text reads I could really use a friend. JD is like, oh wow, we hear his narration. Doctor Cox had asked me to come back to Sacred Heart to make a difference, and I don’t know yet if I have, But as I look back at my students and my friends, I felt such gratitude for the difference this job had made me.

And now it was time to show up for the man who could finally admit he needed …

Then he gets a second text from doctor Cox says, sorry, that wasn’t for you. JD says, too late, and heads off to doctor Cox. Now, as for doctor Cox, we learned in this episode that his treatment is not working the way they had hoped. Cox lies to Jordan’s saying they haven’t gotten the test results yet. Jordan doesn’t believe this.

She shows up at JD’s house. She explains, I knew I wouldn’t be interrupting you with sexually satisfied woman of any kind, so I jimmied your door open. JD asks Cox about this and we get serious cocks again. Cox says, I need to be strong and invulnerable for her, and you should understand that it’s the same thing you always wanted me to be for you. JD agrees to pretend if he’s telling Cox about the test results for the first time.

When Jordan shows up, Jordan isn’t buying it. Cox says, I love the way you see me. I didn’t want to lose that, and Jordan says, if it helps, I’ve always seen you as a whiny baby man. Why don’t you let me be the strong one for once. Then there’s the Janitor.

The janitor shows up in a suit. JD flinches, but he’s like, I’m the chief of medicine. Now you have no power over me. The janitor says he’s the chief custodian of the Joint Commission. JD doesn’t believe him.

He calls the commission and it’s the former Janitor’s phone who rings, so apparently he is the chief custodian of the Joint Commission. The former janitor points out various minor hazards, including a toaster that he says is basically a bomb in a hospital with compressed oxygen. At the end of the episode, we learn that JD his new friend, maintenance Guy is actually the janitor’s son. JD says it’s great that the janitor got his son a job. Both take offense at the maintenance guy being labeled a Nippo janitor.

Maintenance guy says, you’re gonna pay for this. The janitor says, order restored. At the Reason Paley Festival, Zach Braff said he kept foam antlers from a fantasy scene from the Scrubs pilot. Zach explained, if you remember, there’s a fantasy in the original pilot where j D’s a deer in the headlights and they were sculpted from phone. But they’re amazing.

They look totally real with their foam, and I’ve had them for twenty five years. Sarah Chawk says she tried to get Rowdy the stuff dog, but that was impossible. Rowdy was like super under lock and Key. She told people, I kept my Scrubs Okay, what happens next. At the time of this recording still not renewed, but Bill Lawrence and Zach Braff say they are planning for several more seasons.

They’re talking about five seasons. Zach Braff said five would be a good number. Everybody should be happy with five. Whatever Bill wants. Bill Lawrence said, none of us would be here if he wants.

Planning to still do the show, I don’t know how many seasons that’s gonna be on that guy. Hey, Zach, how many seasons of the show do you want to do? Zach Braff said, I think five. Bill Lauren said, so probably five. Zach Braff said, thanks Bill, Bill cool, We okay, say we’re done with that, then five, Zach.

I think five is a great number. Everybody should be happy with five. Whatever Bill wants. Bill said, there you go. Well, hopefully on a main episode.

Someday soon I’ll be telling you. Scrubs was renewed so far, not renewed. The most recent episode the season finale or series finale arguably two point nine four million viewers. Finishing Third Survivor had five point zero six million. Chicago med three point twenty four.

As a comparison, Abbot Elementary at eight thirty, which has already been renewed, Abbot did two point three seven million and against Scrubs two point nine to four. And in case you’re curious, Nate Berghetzi’s the greatest average American is doing one point five to two, so you would think scrubs will come back. But I get nervous and i’ll see in the morning.