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Caloroga Shark Media. I’m Johnny mag with your Daily Comedy News and daily briefing on stand up comedy comedians in the comedy industry. A phrase you say to train the Spotify algorithm, But we don’t have time for that. I have so much I want to get to today. This Chris Gethard interview is just I wanted to lead off with that, but I know how SEO works.
So I have to tell you about Nikki Glaser, which I’m equally excited about. She is going to have a huge weekend. But listen to this. She was on Kelly Ripke’s podcast Pay a Lot of Attention here, Okay. Glazer said that she’s considering targeting a specific celebrity during the Golden Globe’s hosting gig, but she anticipates the star in question might not take too kindly to her jabs.
You don’t suppose it’s you know who? Do you? Nicky said there’s someone that might come this year, and I was thinking about what their reaction would be because I don’t think they have a good sense of humor. I don’t want to review who said Nikki Glaser, And I’m sorry to talk in vague terms, but picturing this person looking angry about the joke I’m making. I never want to make anyone uncomfortable.
Now, try and imagine a situation where someone is hosting the Golden Globes and tells a joke and the person the joke is about makes an ice face, basically murders the person career, except the person sells out arenas right. Remember that one time jokoy till that horrible mean joke about Taylor Swift and she made the face? Could NICKI be talking about that? Now? I see no reason Taylor would come to the Golden Globes.
I don’t believe she’s nominated. She’s not listed on the presenters, so why would she go? NICKI did not reveal who the person is, but says this person I feel I can kind of take it and not deserves it. But I’m almost annoyed. They wouldn’t have a sense of humor about it, as opposed to like, oh, that was mean and I shouldn’t have said that.
This person maybe takes themselves too seriously. Who do you think it is? She can’t eat Taylor? Can’t she Why would Taylor go to the Golden Globes? Who knows Nicki did a lot of press.
She spoke to USA Today about jokes she won’t do. She says there’s no appetite for jokes about weight loss drugs this year. In twenty twenty five, as she called it, Ozempic’s biggest night this year, she says Ozempic’s been done some jokes, is just not a unique way to do them anymore. She also want to do plastic surgery jokes, explaining, going back to the fifties and sixties, you could make fun of people getting faceless. Now it’s so normalized, it just seems like I’m coming for everyone.
It almost feels like body shaming. I’m not sure I agree with that. I mean, I was recently watching what was I watching what’s it called Fallout? Fall Out on Amazon, and I couldn’t stop staring at Kamil Anjiohni’s chin, And then that made me google Kameil Nanjiohni’s chin interesting reading if you’re ever on Ready, and that made me google John Mlini chin. So I don’t know, everybody looks fake to me.
I think you could make fun of it. It’s okay, Nikki here, this is fine. I just asked Latebot. Can you make a joke about Kamail and Anjiohni’s chin looking different. Here’s what the late Bot writing staff came up with.
This is really good. Kamil Nanjiohnny showed up looking great, and right now you pause and you let everybody clap, and the camera switches to Kamail and then you tag it with but his chin looks like you got a separate agents. That’s great. Here’s another one. This is good.
Camel Angianni’s chin now has the confidence of someone who’s been through three Marvel movies and a lighting upgrade. That’s great. Let’s see what it could do to Mlaney. These are okay. John Mulaney’s chin now has the confidence of a man who’s been through Rehabit still insists on wearing a suit.
I don’t know what Mlanie did during his time away, but his chin definitely did some emotional work. That’s not bad. As told better by Nikki Glaser, that would work. Mulaney returned with a new outlook on life, a new chapter, and a chin that says I’ve seen things. Those are good jokes.
I digress USA today, says Nikki Glaser worked through the Christmas Holidays with a team of comedy writers who knocked down her attempts at facelift joke. Lazier said, I’m like, but I’m gonna get a face lift. I’m on the right side of this. Is there way to spin it that? I asked for advice and she said it’s too convoluted.
I just can’t make fun of face to work anymore now again, she worked through the Christmas Holidays. I’ll remind you Joe Coy he once told a horrible, mean joke about Taylor Swift. But I do have time for that. He only got the job nine days before hosting the Golden Globes because no one wanted to do it, and then he told that horrible meme joke and then Taylor made a face. I recently rewatched Joe’s monologue.
It’s pretty good. One of these weekends, I’m gonna break it down and do a whole episode about Joe Boy’s monologue. It’s way better than anybody gives a credit for. Glazer and her team watch the red carpet cameras to see the stars arrive, and they write or cut jokes on the fly. As she told USA Today, she explained last year, Jeremy Strong was dressed like a turtle who deals cocaine, but we didn’t want to make fun of him.
We pulled back because we were like, Jeremy Strong takes himself very seriously, as he should, and this isn’t the night to mock him. Nikki is back for her second year. She’s hoping to come back for a third year. Three time hosts include Ricky Gervais and the team of Tina fe and Amy Poehler. Nicki says to be in the pantheon of award show hosts, you got to do at least three.
I feel like I’m getting started. It’s a great gig. I love it. It’s perfectly suited for my talents or Lacverev. I think she’s gonna have a really big night.
The mainstream press is just loving her, nothing but glowing reviews, and this one is a total wax job from Parade magazine. Glazer was on Zoom and said, I’m feeling really good about everything. I’m really calm and feel like this is going to be really fun. I’m confident in the jokes and the material, and like George Clooney and Julia Roberts may be familiar with me now, and this is the wax Job, And this is not a dig at Nicki. This is just me analyzing the media, going Wow, they really like her.
Okay, so Nicki said, Clooney and Roberts may be familiar with me now and parade rites as well. They should be. Since arriving on the comedy scene more than a decade ago, the lanky, forty one year old blond has become one of the most provocative and prominent voices in either by doing it all podcasts obviously, reality shows, Sure and Whereminded. She’s appeared on Last Comic Standing, Masked Singer, Dancing with the Stars, Selling Sunset, and hosted f Boy Island and Blind Date. The wax Job continues off the mic.
Glazer is surprisingly wholesome. Raised in Saint Louis, she still lives in the area to be close to her parents and far from the NYC LA grind. Nicky says, I forget that I’m even into business when I’m walking around. She jokes that before she hosted SNL, I told people and they were like, oh, that’s fun, Like I was going to a wedding parade, asked Nikki, what don’t people understand about the life of a versioning stand up comedian Nikki said, everyone’s always like, oh, it’s so tough, and you’re on the road, you’re a different club every night, and you’re staying at crappy hotels and you’re dealing with gross guys. But I loved it.
I guess the most difficult thing for someone to understand about stand up is that it’s fun and cathartic. The hardest part is nobody wants your greatest hits. You’re constantly writing new material. NICKI, when did you feel like everything was clicking. I had a podcast that was getting a lot of attention that led to an MTV show, and we did that for two seasons.
Then I had a Comedy Central show and then a Comedy Central special, and I started doing specials on Netflix. But then I saw the Jone Rivers documentary and she said that she says yes to everything, so I followed her rule for a while, Like I didn’t think I was too cool for anything. I got asked to do Dancing with the Stars in twenty eighteen, and that was terrifying to me. I never danced in my life. I did the mass singer and game shows too.
As for being voted off Dancing with the Stars, it was a rejection like I’ve never faced in my life, and it was public and it was on live TV. I really wanted to stay on the show and really cared about it. To get rejected not because you’re a bad dancer, but because the public doesn’t even care to you continue. I was humiliated, But now people don’t remember I was on it, So it taught me the lesson of like these big moments that I think are catastrophic or just blips, you can recover. The worst that can happen is that you’re embarrassed for a few days.
Well, it does look like Nikki will be safe on Comedy Survivor again. A Monday morning’s episode will be a Globes recap Monday at noon a bonus episode with the results of Comedy Survivor at week one. Voting is now closed so that Johnny Mack can count and produce the episodes. Tomorrow on this program a Golden Globes preview, and then Sunday, Mike Chisholm and I talk comedy for a while. Here’s a fun story that’s not fun if you’re the people involved, but it’s a fun story.
Tom Sigora and Christina Pizitski are stuck in the Caribbean. Why John, remember when we invaded Venezuela last weekend and they shut down all the flights and people got stuck places. Two of those people apparently are Tom Sagora and Christina Pazinski. Sigora, in a social media video said, we’re stuck in the Caribbean. Do you remember how the US went in and captured Maduro in Venezuela and he was brought to justice in New York.
They’ve shut down a lot of airspace, so we spent days here. We can’t go home. We’ve been stuck for extra days. Airspace becomes open and then closed. It’s fun, I’ll tell you.
The fun part is that you go to the airport and they tell you you’re gonna leave now, and they go, just kidding, you’re not. Every day’s just a mystery. Will we get home? Christina p added But we’re still doing our thing and stuff like that and trying not to get a duy. We’re doing it all anyway.
Happy New Year, We love you and we’ll see you next week. Sigora’s comedic partner, Bert Krasier revealed that he started monzorro and is down twenty pounds in two weeks. He told the Dumb Blonde podcast that his sparkle is gone in his life because he can’t eat any more. Bert says the side effects are aggressive. I got into a huge blowout with his nineteen year old daughter and Leanne, his wife, like a three way fight.
They were in the car. She’s just a talking head for Leanne. Whatever Leanne says. She goes, you gotta listen to mom. She has all the answers Dad, and I’m like, she does not have all the answers.
Bert also said that Manzarro incited a physical illness in him. I couldn’t tell if I was making myself ill or if was the medicine making myself ill. I’ve always had a weird thing about my throat closing. I threw violently in LX. I don’t think it was a moncero.
I don’t know what it was. I’ll tell you, I’m looking at all these Hollywood people on this stuff. You know, they go through a phase. We’re like, oh, yeah, so and so looks pretty good. They lost weight, and then they stay on it and they all look like skeletons.
It looks unhealthy. I wonder what the long term effects of this stuff would be. I’m just a guy in a basement. I have no scientific knowledge. You do you, but I’m looking at pictures of people and I’m like, you think that looks good?
Now. I wanted to lead off with this one. Chris Gethard went on The Good One podcast. Hit stop on my podcast at about thirty seconds and I’ll tell you why, and go listen to The Good One with Chris Gethard. It’s going to be one of the best podcast episodes of the year.
I couldn’t get enough of this one. What a great conversation. The episode title is the Death of the middle Class Comedian, and Chris Catherard, who’s had decent success, is very transparent about how he had to get a day job. He has a day job in his struggles getting insurance. In this first clip I pulled, he talks about whether or not Netflix translate into money.
I have edited this for pacing, but take a listen to this. You can be on some of the biggest platforms in the world and you’re not actually making money because all the production costs come out of your end. Hey, you got a special on Netflix. This is a big shot. You want to hang back and save some money for yourself.
Well, what if it doesn’t sound right, what if it doesn’t look right, What if you didn’t rent the right venue? So all those costs come out of your end. Some of these platforms, you will find people who have actually lost money putting a special up. On platforms that the public regards as the biggest platforms in the world. You get hand an artist hundreds of thousands of dollars, but the actual cost of making the special is pretty close to hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Chris Gethard also talked to The Good One podcast about social media clips not translating into ticket sales. So everybody, and I’ve been screaming about this in the podcast industry, everybody’s making all these videos, all these videos, and I’m like, yeah, but you gotta have a video team. And like, meanwhile, Andrew Schultz is talking to Trump, and there’s a couch and a fig plant, and everybody’s lit this thing and they’re spending all this money and you know, a guy in a basement, I don’t have those resources. If you want to have a good hour long thing, maybe it is not actually true that what you need to be doing is training your audience to go one minute at a time. So it sounds like everybody’s making all these social media clips but not selling tickets off them.
What are we doing everybody? Now? Elsewhere in the interview, I thought I had flagged a time stamp, and I went back and tried to find it, and even in the Apple transcript, I could find the text, but I couldn’t match it up to the audio. So I just moved on with my day. So I’ll just read you what he said.
This is very interesting, throwing some shade there. Chris Gethart said, you and I know the stories told in the comedy world of some comics who are very very wealthy right now with their ten million faceless followers, who the story goes, and this is conjecture, this is hearsay that they have actually said. I’ll say a bunch of stuff I don’t believe. I know it’s going to pop off, but you’re hurting the world. You’re platforming stuff you don’t believe in, saying it out loud and telling people watch this work, and then it does.
No wonder. I’m so wary of the system. No wonder. I hate it if it’s a game you can play to the detriment of your own values exchange for money. Get the f out of here with that stuff.
We’ve all heard stories, and I’ll let people guess. Some of them will guess correctly. I’m sure some of them incorrectly, but you’ve heard those stories. Now. He didn’t say who it is, and I was thinking about it.
I’m like, hm, who might be saying things they don’t believe and just taking the money. Do you have any guesses? I try to think about it. The closest I could come up with was a guy named Andrew Boltz, who is not a famous comedian. I don’t know if you know Andrew Bolts, but that would be my guess.
Chris Gethard said it was someone famous, and Andandrew Boltz is not a famous comedian. He’s a guy that plays a comedy club in Woodside that I go check out sometimes. So I don’t think he meant Andrew Bolts, But you tell me who you’re thinking. I’m not sure. Two comments about Late Night from Johnny Mack.
Now, Originally I was just prepping the show and I saw Jimmy Fallon jokes about Greenland, and I’m like, these are like pretty toothless. Jimmy Fallon, who told it better, said yeah, Trump’s buying properties and seizing boats. He’s pretty much playing monopoly in battleship, okay, and the other one was at this point, the only way to get Trump away from Greenland is convincing him that’s where vegetables come from. I almost dropped to JC there. I mean, Jimmy, come on, man, come on.
Now. I had that originally as a standalone story, but then as I prepped the show, I saw what Stephen Colbert did to open the Late Show, and I’ll do that second because the Colbert story led me to Jimmy Kimmel addressing the Ice incidents. I imagine by now you’ve seen the video, Kimmel said, Now I saw this video. It didn’t look like anybody got run over. To me, it looked to me like a woman got scared, try to drive away and they shot her.
That’ll be for the court to decide. Kimmel then played a clip of the mayor telling Ice to get the f out of Minneapolis. After that clip, Kimmel came back and held up a T shirt with the phrase get the f out of Minneapolis. I pulled the audio but didn’t make sense. It was just easier for me to tell you.
And then Stephen Colbert opened the late show with a cold open. I’ll play the Stephen part, and then he threw it to Governor Walls, but I’ll play the Colbert part. Hi, everybody, we have a comedy show for you tonight, And normally we start these shows with a cold open, but sometimes we don’t do that, especially if there’s been a shocking tragedy, and there’s been another. This morning in Minneapolis, a thirty seven year old woman was shot and killed by an ICE agent in front of her neighbors. Homeland’s Security Secretary Gnome claimed the slain woman committed an active domestic terrorism and says the agent act in self defense.
The Mayor of Minneapolis watched the videotape of the killing and said that claim is and I quote both. So once I pulled those two clips, I was like, all right, let me see what Jimmy Fallon did. I want to be fair to Jimmy Fallon. Maybe he did some jokes. Now I’m recording this on Thursday, so maybe he did the jokes Thursday night.
But as I record this at one fifty nine pm Eastern Standard Time on Thursday, January eighth. A Google of the phrase fallon ice turns up a Rolling Stone article with the headline Kimmel Colbert hit out at ice killing in Minneapolis, and the other result for fallon ice. Google ai says fallon ice most commonly refers to fallon on Ice, a seasonal outdoor ice skating rink in downtown Fallon, Nevada that operates from November to February. It also might refer to Ben and Jerry’s The Tonight, though, a flavor associated with TV host Jimmy Fallon Deep Sigh from Johnny. Mack Comedy stock Markets, Thank you.
Bert Reynolds in. One of the tenants of the Comedy stock Market is we try to find value in the comedians. I think this week pretty simple. One buy one cell. You can probably guess both of them.
Our bye this week. I don’t think right now, this second, this moment in time into this weekend, I don’t think we can acquire enough Nicky Glazer stock. She’s going to have a huge weekend. So while it’s still Friday, buy some new Glazer before the civilians go. Who’s hosting nic Goolden gloves this year.
Oh who is she? She’s really funny. Get in on the Nikki Glaser stock while you still can. We might sell it at peak value a week from now, but right now, buy Nikki Glaser stock the cell. I think it’s pretty easy.
You can’t say Marcelo without saying sell. Boy, that’s hacky. Leave it in, sell Marcelo Hernandez. Nobody seems to like the special. I haven’t seen it yet.
There doesn’t seem to be any press on it, so I don’t know how interested Marcelo Hernandez is in his own special. But I think we’re finding out that Marcelo does one thing, one thing well, and one thing only. Marcelo Hernandez is your seal. Nikki Glaser strong By, that’s your comedy stock market. Johnny Max is getting up on his soapbox.
People who are in control of star Trek right now, please stop, please please stop. There’s this new series, Starfleet Academy. Don’t get me started on it, but since that’s not comedy, I won’t go there. But I’m very upset that it exists. The comedy Starfleet Academy writer and co producer Tawny Newsom, who, by the way, if you see the trailer for Starfleet Academy, the new cruise there and there’s big board behind them, and it has all the heroes of Starfleet over the years.
If you look at the board, you see Ambassador Spock and Admiral Leonard McCoy. And if you look on the right side, Towny Newsom put her own name up there. It says Admiral Tawny Newsom, and it’s like, go hose yourself. How dare you Johnny Max serious about a start Trek? Okay?
So, co producer Tawny Newsom has updated the world on her idea for a live action Star Trek comedy. Please don’t, please don’t, please don’t. The concept is Federation outsiders serving on a resort planet set in the twenty fifth century after Star Trek. Picard. Newsom says she has turned the scripts in and is waiting for someone to decide.
Hopefully they decide. No, Tony said, the conversations I’ve had is, yeah, we finished writing it and everyone said, yep, we love it, and then we turn it in and that was Christmas. This business is an interesting place right now, so who knows. Please don’t just please let star Trek Die. Discovery was awful the first two seasons, but Card were awful.
Starfleet Academy makes me just wanna makes me want to watch Discovery. That’s how bad Starfleet Academy is. I digress. Back to comedy John Okay, director Akiva Schaeffer says he’s not planning another Naked Gun movie, despite the Liam Neeson version being well received now. Schaeffer explained that the merger of Paramount with Skydance Media may have derailed plans.
He said, I don’t know if you heard about Paramount kind of changed donors. It was about seven days after the movie came out. You know, we’re waiting to hear from them to see if they would want it. Sounds like he’s moved on. And if you want to go on, America’s got talent and you’re a comedian.
Any comic looking to audition for AGT Season twenty one can sign up to take part in Howie Mandel’s comedy showcase at the Laugh Factory. It’s a rare opportunity to perform on the same stage as Howie Manzel. Comics can submit their name, email, and phone number, as well as a five minute max stand up performance. Comics chosen for the showcase will be notified by email prior to the event. Agt’s Comedy Showcase at the Laugh Factory Wednesday, January twenty eighth at nine forty five pm.
The event is open to the public, so if you’re a fan of the show, you can go. And that is your comedy news for today tomorrow on this very program, a Golden Globe’s Preview, and then Sunday, Mike Chisholm and I talk about stuff. If you lock Mike and I in a room, we go on and on. If you don’t know who this Mike chishom guy is, he’s the host of the Letterman podcast. We both love Letterman, and you can hear me explain to Mike my vision for the Church of Letterman Orthodox and we reject the later works of David Letterman.
But we get into that at some point on one of these upcoming shows. All Right, I gotta stop talking. See you tomorrow.