🎙️ Listen to this episode:
Featured: Conan O’Brien, Stephen Colbert, David Letterman, Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Colin Jost, Scarlett Johansson, Howie Mandel, Simon Cowell, Terry Crews, Bob Marley
What’s in This Episode
- Conan O’Brien’s scalp sunburn and slicked-back hair at Obama Museum opening
- Seth Meyers mocks President Trump’s World Cup comments and Andrew Giuliani
- Jimmy Kimmel discusses Steven Colbert’s Late Show ending and Celebrity Millionaire ratings
- Colin Jost explains proper pronunciation of wife Scarlett Johansson’s name
- Howie Mandel impersonator ‘Howard Michael Lando’ buzzed off America’s Got Talent
- Comedian Bob Marley catches fire during camp activity
Questions Answered in This Episode
Why did Conan O’Brien have slicked-back hair?
Conan got a severe scalp sunburn at the Obama Museum opening after applying sunscreen only to his face. He treated the itchy, peeling scalp with oil, which made his hair appear slicked back and greasy.
How do you pronounce Scarlett Johansson’s name?
According to Colin Jost, it is pronounced ‘Yo-Hans-un.’ The name’s origins trace back to Danish and Swedish heritage, with the family name originally being ‘Johanssen’ or ‘Jost’ in Germany.
What happened to the Howie Mandel impersonator on America’s Got Talent?
A performer calling himself ‘Howard Michael Lando’ was immediately buzzed off by all four judges, with Mel B hitting the red buzzers before he could perform his act, despite audience pleas to give him a chance.
Did Steven Colbert end his Late Show?
Yes, The Late Show with Steven Colbert has ended, though Johnny Mac notes that nobody talks about it much anymore except for Jimmy Kimmel.
What did Seth Meyers say about President Trump at the World Cup?
Seth Meyers mocked Trump’s comments praising Andrew Giuliani for the World Cup and Trump’s statement that he’d like to trade places with Ronaldo, suggesting Trump doesn’t work as hard as a professional soccer player.
What was wrong with Colin Jost on Celebrity Millionaire?
Jimmy Kimmel noted that Colin Jost was indecisive on the show, often talking himself out of his correct initial answers, whereas his fellow contestant Michael Shay was more decisive.
Full Transcript
This transcript was automatically generated and may contain spelling and/or transcription errors.
Caloroga Shark Media. Conan O’Brien addressed what’s up with his hair? Hello from poolside. I’m Johnny Mac with your Daily Comedy News. It is seventy one degrees, Sonny out.
The humidity’s fifty five to do points like fifty three, one of the top ten days you’re going to get. So we are not sitting in a basement today when we can do this outside with this cadas, the birds, the pool, the dogs, and the landscapers. You may recall people were wigged. Well that’s a bit of a pun. People were wigged that Conan O’Brien had slicked back hair.
Conan addressed the situation. He told a long version of the story on his podcast. I started to pull the audio from it, it would just take too long to get to it, so let me just tell you what he said. He was invited to the opening of the Obama Museum. He realized the opening would be held outside, He put some sunscreen on his face and went about his day.
Conan explains, it’s three hours plus and when it’s over, I’m so glad that I put the sunblock on, and I’m feeling really good about myself, like smart move. He goes over to talk to some fellow guests who he called bright red, like Stephen Colbert and David Letterman. He said those gentlemen looked like they had been playing in a sandbox with plutonium. However, Conan says, a day or two later after the event, I feel like my skull is on fire.
And then two days after that, my scalp is really itchy, and whenever I itch i…
White freckled Confetti’s pouring off my head. It’s disgusting. He was confused, he thought he was going crazy. Someone let him know he had a scalp sunburn. Conan said, I’m not used to that because I’ve got so much hair, but this sun just blasted right through my hair, roasted my scalp, and someone said, to treat this, you have to rub oil into it.
So this morning I rubbed oil into it, not thinking about the podcast when we went on camera, and then I come in and I look like I’m in Shanta Na. I’m a grease ball. I’m so greasy. I’m Frankie Valley. We’ll see if it goes back to the pompadoor.
We’ll keep it at twelve thirty. Make twelve thirty great against. Seth Myers has been bashing the President of the United States. Now, the President and I don’t agree on all the issues, but one of the issues we do agree on is making twelve thirty great again. We need to get back to the days of Letterman and Conan.
And yet Seth Myers has a show for some reason, and Seth was mocking the commander in chief for staying on stage during the World Cup. The New York Post has brought this to my attention. Apparently Seth took issue with a truth social post from the President of the United States in which the President praised Andrew Giuliani, who is the White House’s point person for the tournament and coincidentally, the son of Rudy Giuliani. That doesn’t mean Andrew wasn’t the perfect person to run these things. He just happens to have a famous father.
Anyway, I digress. Trump thanked the younger Giuliani for elevating the World Cup to a level that nobody thought was possible. Seth Myers, who has a show at twelve thirty for some reason, said all right, calm down. It was already the biggest sporting event in the world. It’s not like he sold seven million pickleball tickets.
Myers also made fun of Trump’s comments during a pregame interview before the World Cup final. The President said Ronaldo has a much easier life and that he’d like to trade places with the soccer star for a month or so. Seth Meyer said, or longer. You ever watched Ronaldo like run full speed up and down a soccer pitch and you’re like, this guy doesn’t worked as hard as President Trump. Seth Myers also suggests that President Trump is a sports reaper because when he attends games, the teams he’s rooting for lose.
I do like this joke, though, Seth said, They’re going to have to sage MetLife Stadium to get the hecks out, otherwise the Jets might have a bad season. Love It Jimmy Kimmel’s Old Variety. The ratings are very strong, which we are very grateful to CEBs for their wisdom. We were doing pretty well before that, but that really helped that. Of course, is the ending of The Late Show with Steven Colbert, which nobody talks about it anymore.
Except Jimmy Kimmel. Kimmel told Variety asked Colbert if it liked to guest host the Kimmel Show. Colbert politely declined. Jimmy said, of course. I asked him, and I think it feels premature, but I told him anytime you want to host it, it doesn’t matter if it’s the summer, I’ll gladly step aside.
Jimmy Kimmel was out promoting celebrity Millionaire. I guess people watch this stuff. I’d rather watch civilians than celebrities. Some of the celebrities are Colin Jostin, Michael Shay. Kimmel said, I don’t really know those guys.
I learned that Michael is very decisive and Colin is not, and in a battle of the decisive and indecisive, the indecisive always wins. Colin was really weighing things out in general on Millionaire. Whatever your first thought is is probably the right answer, unless you really have no idea. But people have a tendency to blurt out what they think is the answer, and then they take a long time talking themselves out of that correct answer, and usually they’ll come back to the correct answer, but sometimes they talk themselves out of it. In an unrelated clip, Colin jos explained how to pronounce his wife’s name.
I didn’t know, we didn’t know how to pronounce it. But here’s Colin Jost telling us the proper way to say Scarlett Johansson. How do you. Pronounce your wife’s last name? Is it Joe Hanson or Yo Hanson?
I don’t know. I’ve never met her in person yet, but so I want to hear how she says it Johansson. I mean I certainly say Johansson. I mean I don’t say it really ever, but. Yo, Joe Hanson.
Why is the fridge empty? But it was originally she’s Danish. I think her family is kind of a mix, probably kind of went back and forth a little bit between Denmark and Sweden. So it was definitely it was Johannes Johanssen probably originally, and I was probably Yost in Germany. But now that’s all along forgotten.
So we all we changed together, All ancestors coordinated, and so let’s get them together. Are you with Michael Chang? I didn’t say you can have a second question. Did you see the Howie Mandel impersonator on America’s got talent. Yeah.
A guy came out dressed as Howie Mandel. He called himself Howard Michael Lando. Simon Cowell asked why. From the sidelines, Terry Crews said this is disturbing. Before Howard Michael Lando could do his act, meil Be reached across the judges table and hit all four red buzzers.
The audience protested and pleaded with the panel to give a fake Howie Mandel a chance for lunch today. I couldn’t decide if I wanted a pickle with my sandwich or not. I was like dil or no dil. He then did a second joke, which was if I was on a farm, I’d be Cowie Mandel. Definitely time to hit the buzzer and Melb said that was not good.
She asked the audience did anybody laugh? They went to the vote. All the judges said no, fake Cowie Mandel said that’s fair. Good night. Bob Marley caught on fire and first of all, this is comedian Bob Marley.
I’ve worked with Bob a little bit over the years. I remember one time he was trying to set the record for longest comedy set up. I can’t remember if he has the record now, or if Chappelle does, I could look it up, and I’m too lazy. I think Marley does because we broadcast the whole thing live on satellite radio a million years ago. Anyway, he goes by comedian Bob Marley, so you don’t think he’s the reggae guy.
And then in the computers we always had a label at comedian Bob Marley. Otherwise his stuff was really difficult to schedule because you’d want to schedule a comedy record. He’d accidentally schedule. I shot the sheriff. You don’t want to do that.
Comedian Bob Marley caught on fire. He was forced to dive into the lake by his camp when a sweatpants caught on fire. John, we all heard your chuckle during the story. Do you think it’s funny that Bob Marley caught on fire? Apparently you do.
We heard the chuckle. Don’t edit it out. You cowered. What happened? Bob was making s’mores.
He was cooking with Uncle Jimmy, and one of Uncle Jimmy’s s’mores got overcooked. Bob Marley went to rescue his seventy nine year old uncle Jimmy’s s’more from the fire, and the blaze jumped from the fire to the sweatpants. Uncle Jimmy said, Bobby, your leg’s on fire. Bob Marley said, I know, Jimmy. Oh see, this is why I love recording outside.
I’m deliberately doing this for the randomness. Do you hear that? I don’t know if you can hear that, but again, I’m in my backyard. No one’s doing anything wrong. You’re not supposed to record your podcast Poolside, John, You’re supposed to record it in a basement like losers do.
Anyway, the neighbor is now having his generator serve, so that’s why you hear the generator noise. I’m leaving all this in. That is the beauty of Poolside. This is why you work for yourself. I could be trapped in an office in New York City staring out the window, going it’s seventy one degrees out in sunny, and I’m trapped in this office.
So we’re gonna put up with the generator guy. I digress. Before all that happened, you may recall Bob Marley was on fire. Uncle Jimmy said, Bobby, your leg’s on fire. Marley said, I know Jimmy Bob Marley jumps in the lake, and he explains when I was in the water, I took off my sweatpants and my shirt and put them on the doc to dry, and then I got up on the docks, standing there in my underwear.
Then I see a pontoon boat coming toward me with three one hundred and ten year old ladies on it. One of them asked me, Bob, are you standing there in your underwear? And Marley said yes, I am. Okay, I actually put a note in this week’s show to remember to promote the Weekly Comedy Thing. It was pointed out to me in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group that I never remember to promote it.
What is this weekly Comedy Thing? John? Okay. There’s an app it is called Live One where you can listen to music and the comedy stations. I program the comedy station so you can listen to comedy.
The app is free. All this is free. You can just do this for free.
And then on Sundays I published a show called The Weekly Comedy Thing, which …
Now this is where I can do long form versions of the stories, and on the weekly comedy thing, I’m more of a jock, so I’m trying to keep the story super tight. But over there I can actually play the comedy clips. So if I tell you say, Mark Maren’s going to be at a film festival, I can play Mark Maron after it. If you’re into you discovering new comedians, some of the newer comedians you’ll hear this week on the show Ali Hassan, Tom Staid, Kyle Gordon, and Whitmer. Thomas also got some Bob Marley in there.
You know why the story I just told you, except on that show, I tell the twenty second version of it. It is the final day of Just for Laughs Montreal. It wasn’t much buzz this year. At five o’clock today May Martin is recording a Netflix special and again at eight thirty, we’ll keep the best take. There only two other shows, Raffy Bostos is at Club Soda at seven and Lucy Dorling at seven.
That’s kind of it. I mean, I’m glad the festival’s back, but Netflix says stolen their corner, as they say in Montreal, because zat they want to hit the nasty show. During the comedian CP talked to the gazette and said, this is a very smart comedy crowd. As a comedian, that’s one of the most important things that your audience understands how to be an audience. It’s funny.
Some people are intimidated by the French, but then you come and they have a high ballot for comedy.
Also, they’re not sensitive.
They understand a lot of jokes derive from inappropriate places and they love that. We are told CPS cartoon like Cadence echos the early days of M and M, with whom CP’s uncle Trick Trick is a frequent collaborator. The essence of Slimshady can be found throughout his high energy, envelope pushing storytelling, which covered everything from some dirty stuff I don’t want to get into, and some more dirty stuff I don’t want to get into, and then a third thing that’s kind of dirty that involved the wildfires and the words squirting. You figured out it is the nasty show after all, John, what do you think was gonna happen? Ontario’s Rebecca Reid came in and told some jokes about various private parts.
Really good punchline here, but I can’t set it up for you. Go to the Montreal Gazette to read it.
Meanwhile, at the Culture Show, Dave mer Hedge was your host.
He told Cult MTL it’s such a dope festival to perform at. He also called Montreal a savvy audience with good knowledge of stand up, which allows comedians to be themselves. The Culture Show formerly known as the Ethnic Show and then was known as Just for the Culture. I didn’t even realize they had switched this name. Just for the Culture was bad.
The Culture Show is better. I still like the Ethnic Show the best. Come on, we all know what this is anyway. The concept is simple. Five comics of different backgrounds come together for an evening of laughs.
Dave mar Hedge was your Lebanese comedian. Then we got Wise Cal Tara, Canishtraki, high energy Keith Pedro and the methodical and storytelling driven Alfred Roebliss. And that is your comedy news on a summer Sunday. Pretty strong for a summer Sunday. And I will see you tomorrow