Tom Segura announces new special PLUS Schwarzenegger says Bert Kreischer has great calves!

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The Shark Deck. Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, The Late Night Writers still on strike. The Late Bought was talking about President Biden trying to get this budget deal done and pointed out the President Biden’s early bedtime is a double edged sword. On the one hand, it’s starting to negotiate when he’s in bed by seven. On the other hand, at least he won’t accidentally tweet his real thoughts at two AM and going to bed.

That’s a good thing because it prevents him from sending late night text to Republicans that start with hey you up. Tom Segura, he’ll have a new special on Netflix. Tom Sagora Sledgehammer coming out July fourth. Interesting choice of date there. Sagora filmed this before he sold out crowd at Phoenix’s celebrity theater, I Matchine.

He filmed it in front of like a half empty theater. Wouldn’t it be weird? This one we’ll talk about Tom Sagora’s comedian wife. They’re two young sons, his now widowed mom whoever’s been sharing his gummies and Brad Pitts. Tom just wrapped up his tour and he misses his two young kids.

He said, I got home two nights ago. By the time you’re hearing this, it’s probably more like four nights ago. I did my last show in Iceland, flew back, and yet at that age the kids, you miss a month and you’re like, whoa, you’re a different person. Tom looked back on the pandemic and said, you know, it’s hard to put yourself in that headspace again because now, honestly, anybody talks about pandemic stuff, you’re like, are they still talking about that? But you’d talk to your agent at the beginning there and they’d be like, yeah, I don’t know, I don’t know what’s coming back.

And when you go to a club in Oklahoma City, they’ll let you do a show and you’d agree to it. It was just a whole different world. An important part of this set for Tom Segura was talking about his father’s death. He said, obviously he didn’t play like, hey, this is a real serious thing I’m going to talk about, but it was definitely something that sat with me. I’ll say I’m really pleased with the special.

I made some really grown up decisions. I wanted this to be a tighter special. When I look back at my old specials. I always regret not cutting out more so I’ve made this grown up decision to cut big chunks that had really killed. There was one about being abroad that killed live, but it didn’t need to be in the special.

There was one that felt dated, and there was one we really contemplate because actually one of the Netflix executives was like, I love that bit, but it was four minutes, and we’ve now got it at sixty one minutes. So we’ll probably end up releasing the bits that were cut out online so people will still get to see them. But you realize it when you’re touring. If you do sixty minutes tight and it’s back with laughs, it’s more powerful than eighty minutes. It’s kind of loose.

The Oliood reporter said, your comedy isn’t overly political, but you do a bit in this special about Ted Cruise being particularly disgusting, and Sigore said, oh, that means you saw an older cut because that’s out of the special. Wait, why’d you cut it? Of course, I said, we were at sixty five minutes and it was four minutes. That was the one that the Netflix executive loved. Maybe I should put it back in, but Also, I look back on specials and feel like we got somebody’s name in your offense a song or TV show, It quickly feels aged.

So I tried to put myself in the mentality of somebody putting on the special in a few years and you know, he’s very well known now, but eventually people will be like, who’s Ted Cruise. Hollywood reporter very fascinated with the Ted Cruise bit. They said you were touring with it, Did you give any thoughts to it or have any concern about how a joke like that lance in certain parts of the country. Saigore said, what I figured out from doing it is the man is universally loathed. I mean I did that bit like you said, and red markets and blue markets.

It did in Canada, Australia, and sometimes when you travel you’re like, ah, how’s that gonna go tonight? But it crushed basically everywhere, or even in Canada. I know he was born there, but I remember the first time I visited Canada, I was like, as it is going to go here? At mid I got an even crazy response there. Bert Kreischer talked too Rich Eisen about working out with Arnold Schwartzenegger.

Kreisher said he as Schwartzenegger about the exercise that Arnold missus but can’t do because of his age. Apparently the answer Arnold Missus doing deadlifts. Creisher said, I just thinking out with Arnold Schwartzenegger. I got a movie coming out, and then I see Ed Norton. He said he could barely contain his excitement after seeing Ed Norton.

Norton walked by with nothing but a knot of acknowledgment, and that gave Bert Kreisher clarity. He said, Ed Norton’s amazing, But I don’t want to be that guy. I want to be Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently Schwarzenegger likes Bert Kreischer’s calves and said, holy cow, this guy has good calves. Some bodybuilders would be jealous of this guy’s calves.

This weekend, Donnel Rawlings hosting the donnell Land Weekend Festival May twenty sixth through the twenty ninth in southwest Ohio. The donnell Land Weekend Festival features a live stand up comedy performance by Donnel Rawlings and Friends. But wait, there’s also a canoeing trip on the mad River on Monday Donal rollings dot Com for the info. Donal says, I don’t bank on TV or film. I bank on what I’ve been doing for thirty years, stand up comedy.

That’s the one thing I can control. He joked about moving to Yellow Springs after visiting in twenty twenty to take part in Dave Chappelle’s summer camp shows in the village. He said, I went from the streets to the creeks, from the hoods to the woods on the river. N Engeneu, we haven’t visited gossip Corner in a while. Poor Adam Sandler.

He was at a basketball game and ESPN threw up a picture of a clean cut Sadler back in two thousand and eight, followed by a bearded Saidler with a neutral facial expression. Apparently the latter picture was not very flattering social media fans. One of them said, for no discernible reason, ABC just went, Hey, look how old Adam Sandler’s got in the last fifteen years. Another said ESPN made it look like Adam Sandler’s been held in captivity for fifteen years, and one more said the price you pay for dragging the corpse of Rob Schneider’s career well passed its expiration date.

Also on Gossip Corner, Chris Rock went to see Bruce Springsteen in Rome.

Ruce was playing the Circus Maximus to a sold out crowd on Saturday. Chris Rock must add a good time. He posted a couple of things on Insta, one with Springsteen and Stephen van z Ant mugging it up during Glory Days. Another was a band shot during Dancing in the Dark. Rock met some of the band after the show.

Jake Clemens play sacks these Daisies Clarence Clements’s nephew. By the way. He posted a selfie with himself and Chris Rock and said, by the end of the set we left no one alive except for Chris Rock. This mofo don’t get knocked down by nobody. Someday we’ll look back on this and it’ll all seem funny.

Colin Mockery was asked who would play him in a movie about his life, and he said George Clooney would probably be my first choice, but then he added Bill Murray the observation there. Bill Murray, like Colin Mockray, has devoted his career to deadpan comedy with a side order of droll I could see Bill Murray as Colin Mockery not ridiculous. Colin’s out on the Scared Script List tour and said, we’d like to have sort of a live version of Who’s Line without the dead weight, and I’m talking about Wayne Brady and Ryan Styles. So it’s games for us that’ll be familiar to fans of Whose Line. Then there’s games we’ve added with Dad.

Because it’s just two of us and we don’t have a host, it’s even more interactive than TV show. We have audience members on stage with us doing things. Just a couple hours of goofy fun. Let’s see what’s happening in New Zealand at the New Zealand Comedy Festival. Jamine Rossis show is called Vaguely Familiar.

He’s wearing a judger hat here, but he seems to be from New Zealand. As you’re about to hear, I just recently got back from Australia. I was visiting my little brother there in Sydney, and my little brother’s quite funny because he’s only been there for about a year, so he’s still got his Keywi accent, except he’ll say the odd random word and an Australian accent, so he’ll be like, oh, heybrew, do you want to go get a feed? There’s our men as Fish and Chip shop done by the Booch, which is awesome. I’ve never heard that the other way around though, like I’ve never heard an Australian and New Zealand mostly Ozzie accent, but the odd random word any Keywi accent I’ve never heard.

Hey, mate, listen, I want to tell me, ah, if you want to make an online you gotta break a few expert all right, a little local and humor. Hopefully you found it amusing. I did, maybe not as much as if I had grown up in christ Church. But okay. The rest of the podcast today will be spoilers once again for Fast X.

If you listen to the end yesterday, you know why. If you don’t want to be split on fast X, see tomorrow, I’ll give you a couple of seconds here to get stop on the podcast. Are you’re gone? Okay? I guess you’re gone.

So interesting twist about Pete Davidson appearing in Fast X. Did you watch Bupkiss? There’s a scene in Bupkiss where’s Pete’s agents played by Chris O’Donnell says, Hey, Pete, they’re pulling the offer on Fast and they’re furious. The reason in the show was because Pete Davidson’s character Pete Davidson was photographed doing whippets at the White House Correspondence dinner. Pete said, but it was with the Avengers, like two of them cool ones from the first movie.

The only way to fix the problem on the show is to perform at Vin Diesel’s daughter’s birthday party in Miami. Apparently it worked out for the character Pete Davidson because it worked out for real Pete davids And I hope Pete’s in Fast eleven, and I hope they keep making these for thirty years. I’ll watch Pete Davidson driving a car. Why isn’t he driving a car?


Meanwhile, James Gunn talked about Pete’s cameo and Guardians of the Galaxy V…

That’s your comedy news for today. Follow the show for free on Apple, podcast, Spotify, YouTube, Smash and like that button or whatever you’re supposed to do and ring the bell and all that YouTube stuff the kids do. Do that, will yah see tomorrow. So you’re at McDonald’s and you get your bag and you open your bag. You want to grab a couple of fries or something, and there’s five thousand dollars in it.

Yeah, this happened at one guy. Hi, I’m Johnny mag host of five Good News Stories. He gave the money back. Don’t worry. If you want to start your day with a smile.

Twice a week, I’ve got five good news stories for you. For example, there’s an airline for dogs. Or what about the woman in her eighties who just released her debut album. How about the dude who found one hundred and fifty corn on the cobs under his floorboards? Is corn on the cobs?

Even the way you say that? Who cares? And yes, that was a pony at the supermarket? Five good News Stories, the number five good news stories. Five good news Stories, the number five Good news Stories.

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