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Caloroga Shark Media from Poolside. I’m Johnny mag with your daily commedy news. Jhanny Mag are ree poolside again. Yeah man, it’s August now. A month from now, you know it’ll be cooler and I’ll be teaching my college class about podcasting.
And you know you gotta enjoy these moments while you can. Trevor Noah is back involved with the South African tourism industry. They’ve launched a second international marketing campaign featuring comedian Trevor Noah. They are seeking to attract more foreign visitors at a time when the country’s global reputation has been dented by renewed xenophobic tensions and anti illegal immigration protests. The Tourism Business Council of South Africa and Tourism Marketing South Africa unveiled the Tourism in South Africa with Trevor Noah campaign.
The campaign is titled didn’t Say We didn’t tell you. Let’s let Trevor Noah tell you about it. Hi. There, I’m Trevor Noah, still South African, still a comedian, and still getting from all over the world about South Africa because I guess apparently I’m the only South African people can ask why not ask black coffee Charlease Elon? Okay, maybe don’t ask Elon.
But the point is I’ve decided to come to our tourism headquarters to answer your questions head on, questions like this, Why didn’t anyone tell me there were so many climates? I only pecked for the beach. Well, English been three to six, then South Africa we have it all. You can explore. Majestic mountains has skating waterfalls, desert dunes and boundless savannah plains.
You get the idea. Now, as it turns out, I’ve got a whole bunch of travel vacation e type things to tell you about today. Chelsea Handler laid out her strict rules for family vacation. She spoke to People magazine about this, and she said, if you want a vacation with me, these are the rules. Okay, what are the rules?
Chelsea Handler? By the way, if you want to hear just how relatable Chelsea Handler is, pay attention here. In her twenty twenty five book I’ll Have what She’s having, she wrote a letter to her extended family establishing proper vacation etiquette after she paid to take them on a trip one year. That’s nice. She observed a quote shortfall of manners and left feeling quote embarrassed and taken advantage of after they visited her homes in this is very relatable.
Los Angeles, okay, fine, Majorca in Spain, and Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts, because you know everybody has those kind of places. Her first request were for her family to say hello to all the people working in the home. We are told they didn’t need to have long conversations with the housekeepers, but they do need to acknowledge their existence out of decency and respect. Chelsea Handler asked that her family be thoughtful of others when it comes to food and drinks. Clean your plates after a meal and put them in the dishwasher, and do not consume copious amounts of alcohol.
Wait until everyone’s been served before grabbing more food. And when I make a picture of Martaritez, don’t finish the picture unless you’re willing to make another. She expects her guests, especially younger relatives, to remain engage during family activities like a game, movie, or dinner. She says they can sacrifice their phones and video games to be present for an hour or two at night. Sounds like a lot of fun hanging out with Chelsea Handler.
She requires a contribution from her guests. A contribution does not mean financial, it means what pleasantness are you planning to bring on vacation. It’s not a free for all. I don’t care how much our family annoys you. It’s the only one we’ve got and we’re stuck together for life.
She sounds fun.
Meanwhile, Rob Beckett spoke to the Guardian.
You know Rob from last one laughing at uk. Rob Beckett’s till the Guardian. We do a lot of Disney theme park holidays. When my wife turns into some sort of army sergeant. She’s up at the crack of dawn, backpock on, hair done and pigtails, hat on.
Kids ready to go. That’s how you gotta do Disney, dude. You got to be there the second the gates open and make a b line for space mountain. Beckett said, when you have kids, they basically ruin holidays because you’re not relaxing. You’re parenting and more danger hotter, with less sleep.
And then they get to an age where they’re big enough to play in the pool, but they’re also having their own separate holiday. They’ll be in the pool playing with each other, so you’re getting in for a bit, but they don’t want you to play, and then they play with some mates they’ve met, Whereas when you go to Disney, it feels like you’re on holiday with them as mates because you’re going on the rides together, eating together, you go to bed at the same time you wake up, so it feels like you’re on holiday with them. A different vacation. Rob Beckett said, we went to Spain last year after being really busy five nights in a row. The whole family slept for ten hours.
We just did nothing and then basically we go to breakfast five minutes before it ends. He would not like traveling with me. My family makes fun of me. I have a full day itinerary, and I mean full day now. Their brains are an autopo that I’m like, hey, we got to be here, we’re doing this activity.
Here’s your passes. I have a folder. If I get hit by an asteroid, somebody else can run the vacation. It’s all laid out. Here’s all the vouchers, here’s everything, here’s the schedule, Here’s where you get the bus, all that, But I don’t go on vacation to see the hotel room.
I want to see the destiny.
Also, as much as I love the beach, I don’t go to the beach on vacation becaus…
Believe me, Australia has got awesome beaches. And I did one one half day on Bandai Beach, which was just amazing. But I was like, you know, I could sit on the beach at home. I can’t climb the Sydney Harbor Bridge, which is a real thing I did, which I highly recommend a lot of fun. I can’t do that at home.
I digress. Rob Beckett said, I’d sleep forever. I was so relaxed that one time I was on the balcony It’s like around five o’clock. The kids were out of the bath chilling and lou was getting ready for the night. I was sort of josing and I said to myself, if I die now, that’s fine, I’m all right.
And he laughed at that notion. Different vacation, I went to Seville with my wife and a couple of friends and that was amazing. We watched real Ba tiasplay. I love football, so Ville is amazing for eating and drinking, so that was really nice. Go in August.
If they’re having a bit of a cold week, book a last minute deal because the hotels will be cheap. It’s really quiet and empty because it’s too hot for most people to go. But if you keep an eye on it, you get cheap accommodation and cheap flights at the temperature drops. That’s interesting. Spain is awesome.
Beckett says, we’re going to do a road trip through Europe, which we’ve never done before. We’re going to drive through France in the Champagne region and then end up at Europa Park at theme park in Germany. I do love a hotel room with the family because I feel you’re just war relaxed, and the kids love breakfast. They go down and absolutely demolish it, and then you set them up for the day. Keenan Thompson has some car buying tips.
Now this is an advertorial. He was being paid to share these tips, but let’s roll with it. Keenan Thompson has some must have car essentials for parents. Number one hand sanitizing wipes Keenan Thompson says, definitely wipes. You gotta have wipes when you have kids.
Number Two hand sanitizer. He keeps hand sanitizer nearby for quick cleanups after snacks, playground trips, and busy days on the go. He also keeps napkins on hands just in case. You know. I use the middle console thing in my car and I always have napkins in there until my wife gets in the car and boys, she goes through all the napkins.
I don’t know what she’s doing over there. Shotgun. A lot of napkins disappear, and then I have to go to Wendy’s and get new napkins. Keenan said, I try to keep my car pretty clean and not a lot of clutter, you know. So I’ve done that.
Then my not the car i’m driving now, my last car, this Hyundai Tucson that I got out when the kids were young, and I decided this car I’m not going to be precious about. There’s a line I like that said that battleships aren’t meant to sit in dry dock. They’re meant to go out and get in battle. So I took that attitude with my Hyundai Tucson, which served me really well. I got to two hundred and five thousand miles and then the transmission broke and I wanted to save it, and my and my mechanic that I’ve been using for years look me, and I was like, don’t.
So I had to let that one go. But anyway, with that car, I decided, this is the car that’s going to go to soccer games and to the beach, and it’s going to get sand in it, and it’s gonna get dirty, and that’s okay. And that’s what that car did, and I loved it. Before starring on SNL, Keenan Thompson was saving up for his first car, a Toyota four Runner. He said it was my prize possession because I bought it with my own hard earned cash.
It wasn’t gifted to me. It was something I earned. My favorite feature was that the backglass window would roll down. I thought that was really cool for a hatchback kind of truck. I thought this was fun.
From Deadline, it’s called the laugh List. It is a list of the year’s best unproduced to comedy screenplays. Deadline explains it is a new ongoing survey recognizing the year’s most promising unproduced comedy screenplays. Unveiled in association with Just for Last Montreal, The list has ten screenplays that emerge from a field of more than forty nominated projects. The scripts are in various stages of development, somewhat studios attached and some not.
Here is the list. Number one. Daniel Bennett Needs a Friend. The world’s richest and loneliest man funnels his near infinite resources into making one friend. I could see Steve Carell in that Couldn’t You?
Yeah? The Flu Game during the nineteen ninety seven NBA Finals, pretty specific, four desperate Utah Jazz fans bet their life savings against the Chicago Bulls and hatch an idiotic plan to poison Michael Jordan, accidentally creating the infamous and very real Flu Game. That sounds amazing. Let’s get that made right now. Who should we cast in that as Utah Jazz fans?
Maybe like Ben Marshall from the Police. Don’t destroy guys, Marcelo Hernandez. Let’s reunite everybody from the seventy two hours movie. Why not? Next up, it’s I’d like to speak to your manager, Jake, really, really wants to return those stupid little paper towels.
I don’t have any ideas for that one. How about Island Man, after heroically sacrificing himself to save a hijack plane and spending five years on a deserted island. This already screams Sandler. A roguish doctor returns from near death to reunite with the love of his life, only to discover she’s married a totally normal dude named Jake. But this isn’t the hero story.
It’s Jake’s and Jake is so eft that could be Sandler right. Next up, it’s pistols at three forty five. After a petty online feud between two local councilmen goes viral, the politicians are pressured by their small town into a real life gun duel, leaving them both desperately trying to figure out how to get out of it without looking like a woos Well. Ferrell popped into mind as I read that to you. In Rush, a college student is sexually assaulted by frat guy that’s not funny, who faces no consequences.
She and her best friend rushes fraternity undercover to get revenge, only to I’m the unlikely stars of Delta Iota Kappa’s pledge class and get in way too deep, too complicated for me to work out. How about this could be our night after the release of a crush list, there is the final night of high school and a chaos. Two best friends must sneak out to a wild graduation party so one of them can hook up with her longtime crush. How about the accidental scroll. A man is recording his podcast next to the pool when suddenly his mouse jumps and moves the script at Now that’s not a real movie, although we could make that where worry the planet is effing awesome, except they actually use the naughty F word in the title.
Not sure that’s going to make it to the theatrical release. That might be a working title anyway. Twenty years after their best friend went missing, a group of stoner friends or zapped to a fun party planet where they find him alive. They must race across the planet before the only portloald or home closes forever. I don’t know about that one.
That sounds like one episode of Rick and Morty. Next up, it’s untitled erotic teen fan fiction movie eighteen writing erotic fiction online must collaborate with her schools. Primisky was quarterback when asked to write about her non existent love life for a publisher, I’ll pass on that.
And then there’s Witch Please.
Two black wannabe viral ghost hunters are transported back to sixteen hundreds, Massachusetts to defend a little white girl’s mother who’s been accused of being a witch. That one does have a producer attached Kevin Hart’s heartbeat. That is your comedy news on a summer Sunday. We’ll see you tomorrow.