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Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Seoannie Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Happy tax day, boy, aren’t you excited? Some jokes from Late Night not about taxes, but Jimmy Kimmel said President Biden condemned that decision in Arizona. He said he wasn’t in favor of the law when they passed it back in eighteen sixty four, and he’s not a fan of it now.
I love that kind of joke because it’s not really about Biden. It’s just a generic old man joke. But it’s so funny. Kimmell again. The porn star hush money trial starts Monday.
That’s today, and with all Trump’s many last minute efforts to delay have failed, his only move left is to have sex with everyone in the courtroom and pay them one hundred and thirty thousand dollars to keep their mouth shut. Jimmy Kimble for a third one. The Biden campaign launched a new program to engage voters in the LGBTQ loss of community. It’s called Out for Biden Harris, which is a collign title, but definitely better than their original slogan, which was I’m a joemo sexual Now have you heard I’m not doing the voice, but have you heard the Norm MacDonald cadence As I took all those pauses. I don’t know if you noticed it.
Hit thirty second? What’s not whatever? The opposite of skip is go back thirty seconds listen to where I took the pauses again. I’m not doing that deliberately, but I’ve been listening to so much of Norm doing OJ Simpson jokes that that kind of pattern is in my head and I keep coming back to. I shared this joke on Friday, but I’m gonna do it again in my half assed Norm McDonald impression because I feel like if Norm was still around, this is the joke we would have gotten.
This is from comedian Robert Burrell. He tweeted this, I’ve already told you this, but I’ll do it in half assed Norm this time. O. J. Simpson’s family announced he died of cancer.
Cancer, on the other hand, has begun looking for the real killer where it was so funny. Here’s another one from Jimmy Fallon. But again, I’m stuck in this Norm cadence. I’ll do it in half ass Norm again. Baseball Superstar Show.
Hey Otani’s ex interpreter has been charged with allegedly stealing over sixteen million dollars from Otani in a gambling scheme or as the interpreter told Otani. They’re saying, I’m innocent. I may have told that one better than Fallon. I don’t know, should I find that joke? Let’s see if I told it better than Fallon.
I’m hitting pause. I’m going digging for that joke. Okay, I found it. Well, listen to this. The Justice Department announced that Baseball Superstar Show Hey, Otani’s ex interpreter has been charged for allegedly stealing over sixteen million dollars from Otani in a gambling scheme, or as the interpreter told Otani.
They’re saying, I’m innocent. You tell me. I think me as Norm was funnier than Fallon as Fallon. Maybe I’m delusionable. Hollywood Reporter did a cover story with Conan O’Brien and they got to it.
Conan. There was talk about a weekly variety show. You know, Conan’s doing this travel thing. He was all over the press last week. Conan said that whole thing cracked me up.
When we were wrapping up the TBS show, there was a pre existing agreement that we would continue on at Max HBO Max then and then I’d figure that port out. When it came out that I was going to be doing a comedy variety show, we didn’t know where that came from. It turned out that someone in the press department had just said something like, ah, yeah, that’s this category for US variety. Suddenly I’m getting contacted by jugglers or writers are calling me up saying, are you gonna be like Dean Martin? No, I was never going to be the seventy fifth person to try and bring back the hour long variety show and have it not work.
See. I think he would be great at that because the acts would be terrible and he would make it funny. Conan, what do you miss most about the nightly gig? Conan said, I missed that band terribly, the way you miss a lost limb. I’m an amateur guitarist, and I got to play with those guys every day.
I got to the point where they had a hard time getting me to rehearse the comedy. I swear to God, if somebody got me a job as a rhythm player and some rockabilly R and B band, I might disappear. What does he miss the least, the volume, the over and over again with multiple guests tonight, and making sure they’ve plugged their project. These shows exist because they’re promotional machines. I always understood that my goal was to make it as creative as possible with everything else.
But over thirty years, he gets to a point where the oil doesn’t get to certain parts of the machine. I started to burn out a little bit. One of the things I love about the podcast is that most people don’t come on to promote. They asked him if he got any advice from Howard Stern when he went over to that place I used to work, and Conan said, I’d be intimidated to call Howard. I’m worried that he’d put me on the air, would be having a really good conversation that he’d asked me, when did you lose your virginity?
Conan was also on CNN a few hours after the news broke that OJ Simpson had died. That was a coincidence, Conan said, I never make a joke about someone the day they passed. It was a huge deal back then. Most notably he’s passed on, but Norm MacDonald one of my best guests of all time in one of the great comedians of all time. He did the most brilliant comedy of anybody during that period.
Tapper asked about the reports that norm acclaimed he was fired because he frequently mocked OJ Simpson while hosting a weekend update. Conan said, yeah, the head of the network at the time was tight with OJ. Anyway, water another bridge Conena doing full on court press was also on Hot Ones. He made fun of HBO Max as I sometimes do. He said, is it HBO Max or just Max?
I can’t get used to it. It’s not a better name. I have a show. It’s on Max. They used to call it HBO, but people found that too popular, so now it’s Max because that really rolls off the tongue and it’s a funny show.
David Letterman in the news. In a new video on Letterman’s YouTube channel, he said, a year or two ago, we realized we had this big hunk of plastic with the late Show sign on it. He didn’t know what to do with it, so they raffled it off for charity. Anybody who donated ten dollars a more to Habitat for Humanity would be entered to win the twenty foot wide sign. The promotion end up raising one hundred and sixteen thousand dollars.
New Jersey resident Helen Halford won the sign, but the real winner turned out to be your uncle, Preston. Halford learned she won, and then she realized she has nowhere to put it twenty foot signs, so she asked her uncle, who owns a one hundred and fifty year old born in Connecticut, if he had won it. He said yeah. Letterman said, I will say the uncle’s property here is lovely, and I feel confident that the sign has found a lovely new home. Now, I want you to pay a lot of attention on this next story.
This from I ninety five Rock. They spoke to Carlos Mencia. Okay, you ready pay attention. I’m gonna do each story twice because I want to make sure you’re paying attention. Carlos Smithcia said, listen, it’s been a crazy year.
I’ve never been busier. All the kids who were between eight and twelve when Mind of Mencia came out or now of age, so they’re coming to see the shows. It’s like a resurgence. It’s been amazing Well’s comedy right now needs voices like mine and tell everybody comedy is meant to be funny. If you don’t get that, get out of here.
Okay, I just want to recap that story. Carlos Smiencia says. All the kids who were between eight and twelve when Mind of Mencia came out are now of age and they’re coming to see the shows. You got that, all right? Write that down.
Now, here’s the second story from I ninety five rock. Wanting to pay attention because I’m gonna go over this twice, Carlos Smencia said, bro, And yesterday I got a phone call from a big hotel in Vegas who was like, hey, we want you to do a residency. Hey, you got that, Carlos Mencia says. A hotel in Vegas wants Carlos Mencia to do a residency. You got that.
You wrote that down? Okay, good, Carlos said. I’m like, I’m already booked every weekend. They were like, no, we want you to do Sunday and Monday and then we’ll grow from there. Carlos said.
I was like, man, I don’t know that I could be doing that. That would be Sunday, Monday, take off, Tuesday, flyout Wednesday, Thursday through Saturday. That’s a bit much, Bruh. Listen. I know my name is Mencia and I’m an immigrant, but I’m not that much of an immigrant, bro.
I’m not working that all hard. I’ve got my papers. You know what I’m saying. You’ve got to give me legal type work. Okay.
Just to want to recap again, people who watched Mind of Mencia are like, Oh, now that we’re old enough, let’s go see Carlos Mencia because we loved Mind of Mencia. And a hotel in Vegas wants Carlos Mencia to do a residency. Just make sure you got that right. Carlos addressed Mencia gate from a million years ago. You may recall Joe Rogan and some others accused Carlos of stealing jokes in the past.
I believe and less undelusional, he admitted to stealing jokes. I think he admitted it to me in the whole way of serious. But my memory may be getting fuzzy. Carlos told a ninety five rock or whatever it was, I wasn’t doing what they said. I wasn’t plagiarizing or anything.
The interesting thing about that is I went up on stage while Joe was on because he said something about me when he was on stage. So he said, hey, this next guy opens up for Carlos Mensteelia. I think that’s what he said. So I went up on stage and I was like, hey, bro, you keep saying I steal jokes. What joke did I ever steal of yours?
To be fair, Carlos Smancy has never stolen any of my jokes. That is true.
Also, you’d have to ask Rogan about his.
Of course, he never had an answer for that because I never stole any jokes from him. He’s never accused me of taking a joke from him. But I said to myself, if one person thinks you’re a D word, that’s one thing. If everybody thinks you’re a D word, everybody’s mad at you for some reason. So okay.
So the defense here is you never stole a joke from Joe Rogan, Carlos said, said, so I had to look into myself and find out what it is that I was doing to these guys to hurt their feelings. Basically, when I found out that is when I was a kid coming up as a comedian, we called it paying your You’d have a spot and you’d get excited, and then all of a sudden, Robin Williams came in and bumped you. All of a sudden, Richard Pryor came in and bumped you. All of a sudden, some celebrity Martin Lawrence came in and bumped you. Dice Clay came in and bumped you.
That’s the way it was. So look, when you get a TV show, then you can do that. So I started working with a guy named Rick Rubin. I assume it’s that Rick Rubin who told me, you gotta go on the road, cultivate this, make this thing yours. You got to go out and really experience life.
I started doing that and I was gone for about five years doing the road. By the time I came back to the comedy Store and I got Mind of Mencia. For those of that you were younger, what Mind of Mencia was was Comedy Central going, oh my god, Chappelle’s not doing another season of Chappelle’s show. What do we got? And they did Mind of Mencia, which was like the Chappelle Show minus the good parts, And I got Mineum, Mansea.
Those kids were the participation trophy kids. I’m really dumping on Cross the one time, maybe I met him twice. He was cool. The new kids where the generation of I don’t want to get hayes to get in the club. I don’t want to have to pay my dues.
I’m on the schedule ready, Why are you guys putting someone else on the schedule. I had to kind of look inside and go, all right, who am I? What am I? I heard a lot of people’s feelings. Is what it is to boil it down?
Are we suggesting here that Joe Rogan and Carlos Mencia are in different generations of comedy? Let’s see, Joe Rogan is fifty six, Carlos Mencia is fifty six. Okay, now I’ve gone to Google and I typed in Carlos Mencia and I started to type in the next word. I got as far as ad and it has autocompleted to Carlos Mencia admits, here’s a clip. The voice you’re about to hear is Carlos Mencia.
Let’s see what he has to say about Carlos Mencia stealing jokes. This is Carlos Mencia discussing whether or not Carlos Mencia steals jokes. A lot of people out there are going to ask why did they interview Carlos about this? You know, Carlos is a joke thief. Carlos steals jokes, and we know this.
And I listen to me and look at me when I tell you this with all honesty. If you think that I steal jokes, yeah, you’re right, of course, I’m still jokes. Are you out of your mind? When I come to a comedy club, you better run, bitch, you better get off stage, because if anything you say is even remotely funny, I’m gonna make it mine. And all I’m gonna do is say Mexican in the front.
I’m like a rapper. I just sampled and make it my own. Was that really my song? I don’t know, but it sounds like mine, but it kind of sounds like somebody else’s. It’s a hit, bitch.
Here’s Carlos Smincia speaking to Bobby Lee and Bobby’s podcast long clip here, and I’m going to make some edits, both for pacing and for language. So how are you feeling now with all the controversy that happened a decade ago. I mean, what’s going on fourteen years ago? Now? Fourteen years ago?
Yeah, I realized, like my absence from the Internet in all those years allowed a narrative to be created that will never change no matter what I do, no matter what I say, no matter how I come about it, of what my perspective is, it just is the way it is. Like There’s nothing I could do about it, and that is a very difficult thing to do for somebody who is a control freak like me. Look, as you know, I’m always thinking about if I do this, then that then one are the ramifications of all this stuff. So my biggest regret is back in those days, you know, when all this stuff happened, was to fight it, not fight it, but to like I’ve recorded all my shows since nineteen ninety three, I don’t have to fight anybody on anything. If somebody comes up to me and says, hey, you’re doing my joke, I could easily go, what joke is it?
When did you tell it? Let me go look, and then if you did it before me, I’ll stop doing it or whatever. It is. Like I’ve always had that, Yeah, but I stayed quiet, and it just got bigger and bigger and bigger, and now it’s just like that’s what it is. But why not skip it?
Ned? Why not do in the beginning just a blanket apology? But I wasn’t see let me get this, understand, understand what happened anytime even to this day, bro, Yeah, somebody says you stole a joke? I go, okay, well what joke was it? Not?
Angry? Like what joke? Dude? I write a lot, you know this, I create a lot of material, some of your act, you know, I mean a little too close to things that have already been established, Like let’s like the Bill Cosby bit. Yeah, I’ve never seen that one, so I know.
By point though, is that it’s so similar? Right? Yeah? Yeah that why not just outwardly say I apologize and then we could just move on from it rather than you constantly defended. But it’s not that I’m defending.
See again, it’s not that I’m defending. I just who do I apologize to? Good job, Bobby Lee there. If you want to seek that one out, I found that on YouTube. Let me just tell you what it’s called.
Bobby. He confronts Carlosmancy about stealing jokes and Joe Rogan, I’ll throw it in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News podcast group Mine. Now we’re getting long, all right? What else can I tell you about? South Park?
Creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are teaming with Kendrick Lamar, a live action comedy that will hit theaters July fourth, twenty twenty five. No details other than Kendrick Lamar and the date. Well, let’s take a look at the comedy festivals here. On Monday, Pretty quiet in Dubai Emma Dumagae, the first Filipina stand up comedian based in Dubai. That’s the only show in Dubai tonight.
Moontower is actually dark. They’re back tomorrow. And in Melbourne, Oliver Coleman’s show is called Goof, winner of the Best Comedy Weekly Award at twenty twenty two Adelaide Fringe. The Adelaide Advertiser said, comic genius catapults to the point of sheer chaos. All right, that’s some high praise.
Let’s listen. I love performing stand up comedy, I do. I love I love stand up right, But at the same time, sometimes I do think, you know, like of all the art forms, right, like music, film, et cetera. It’s just a bit muh, you know, like it’s just a person standing on stage talking into a microphone. Isn’t it like like it’s the art form that most resembles a school assembly.
Isn’t it The fact that’s risen to the level of like popularity in the current culture that it has just blows my mind right? Like you got, you got? You could have done anything tonight, you know, you could have just stayed at home, gone on the internet and watched pretty much whatever you wanted from the whole history of human art and entertainment. But instead you came here to library story time for grown ups to And then the clip abruptly ended. But not bad.
Ben co Chan’s share was called winning smile. Ben’s been keeping his eyes open lately and his nose well and true to the grainstone. He’s trayed to stop looking at his phone as much. He walks down the street, no phone beat mega and says Coachan is a silly guy. Let’s listen slately, naughty here.
Good to see people having a few brew skis nothing wrong with that. I might get a little drink after this. I treat myself to a little virgin Dacrey. That’s right, it’s a normal dacory. But I drink it.
You Belgian alert? I am. You know this is good. I’m very excited. But something bad did happen to me recently.
You guys wouldn’t believe this. Someone told me that my head is too narrow? Can you believe that? And they’ve done it such as myself. I’m the most handsome man in my synagogue and they said that to me.
I couldn’t believe it. I think they may have a point, though, because I think my head might be too narrow, because I went for a massage recently and my head slipped right through that little hole. I went right through. It was brun ole. I’ve got about a happy ending?
What about an upsetting beginning? Now? He came out in shorts? Is that something the zy comedians do. I’m gonna have to have somebody from Australia come on and explain Australian comedy to me.
The shorts thing is really throwing me off.
All right, let’s find one more today.
It’s so deep into the festival I can’t remember who we’ve done or not. Sam Taunton’s how to tie a tie? I don’t think we’ve done this one. Let’s listen. I’m a big movie fan.
I like watching movies. One of my favorite movies recently it was a movie nineteen seventeen. I’m not sure if anyone saw it. It’s an Academy Award winning movie. It’s about World War One.
It’s so good. I wanted to watch this movie in lockdown, but it wasn’t on any of the streaming services, and I don’t know how to illegally download movies. LimeWire doesn’t exist anymore, so it’s beyond me. So I googled it one day. I was like, nineteen seventeen Academy Award winning World War One movie, How do I watch?
And I ended up on Reddit and this guy’s like, hey, I’ve uploaded the movie for free. Click this link. And I clicked the link and it took me to porn Hub. Yeah. I was like, that’s pretty funny, fair play to this dude.
But then I actually clicked play on the video on porn Hub and I realized that this hero had actually uploaded the entirety of the Academy Award winning World War One movie nineteen seventeen to the popular pornography platform porn Hub because you can just do that, you can. I thought that would stop it. I don’t know why I thought a government or maybe a fact checker at porn Hub. I thought someone was on the back end watching the videos come in, being like this isn’t horny enough for me. Get out of here.
He’s good, good stage presence, good storyteller. Let that clip go a little long and get to the punch. But that’s Sam Taunton and that performance from the twenty twenty two Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala. If you want to look that clip up. Hey, it’s Monday, and for once I’m remembering to tell you that I host the Weekly Comedy Thing on the Live one app.
The app is free, the show is free. On this week’s show, Kyle Knee and Robin Williams, Eugene Merman, Louis Anderson, George Lopez, John Mulaney, Paul Mooney, Chris Rock, Steve Harvey, step Tolev gab Iglesias, Tom Sigora, Larry the Cable Guy, Pete Davidson and Veered Daz. The Weekly Comedy Thing, it’s like this with more comedy, less me. Sounds perfect, doesn’t it. And that’s your comedy news for today.
If you enjoy the program, tell a friend about it. They might like it. To buy me a coffee. Dot com slash Daily Comedy News see tomorrow