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Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, Johnny Mac and I’m in a silly mood with today’s Daily Comedy News. Today’s a big day. You know what’s out today, don’t you? You know what’s out Taylor Swift’s new album.
Yeah, remember she announced it way back at the Grammys. Taylor attends a lot of award shows. You know. One time, Taylor Swift attended the Golden Globes. Nope, not doing it.
You don’t want me to do it. I’m not doing it. You’re not doing it. You know the big difference between this podcast and the Golden Globes. Taylor Swift’s probably heard of the Golden Globes.
Jimmy Kimmel not happy with former President Trump. Apparently, the President commented on Jimmy Kimmel the other day, said several things that ticked Jimmy off, including suggesting that Jimmy had screwed up an award. Kimmell said, the person who presented the award was al Pacino, not me. We’re different people now. Don’t get me wrong.
I wish I was al Pacino. I’m just not. You think he would know that, because I’m pretty sure that say hello to my little friend is what Trump said to Stormy Daniels. They got him in all this trouble. That is a killer.
Joe Kimmel continued. One of the things that he had a problem with was Trump suggesting the ratings had gone down because of Kimmel, and he said, that’s why they asked me to host again next year, which I wasn’t planning to do, but now I might. Maybe you can watch it on the TV in the rec room at Rikers. The Rikers is a prison in New York City. In case you don’t get the reference.
One more from Kimmel. I guess I should be honored that the former president of the United States took time out of his busy schedule googling Ivanka in bikini to rant about me. Ouch. Trump also visited a bodega. Stephen Colbert explained for non New Yorkers what a bodega is.
And I’m not even sure this is a joke. This is pretty accurate, Colbert said, for my viewers who don’t live in New York, bodega is Spanish for a place where you can get coffee, cigarette, spicy chips you can only get in Uruguay, dusty cans of chef boy or d Jin saying vitality juice that makes your hair feel like it’s screaming. And for some reason, one electric lawnmower up on a high show elf all run by a guy who exclusively calls you big boss boy. He nailed that. Do’ll s Sloan, hosting The Daily Show, said, I’m surprised Trump didn’t hit up the lotto machine while he was at the bodega.
Dudo’s over five hundred million dollars in fines. Can you imagine owing so much money that you have to hit Powerball just to get back to zero? I saw Mark Marin as Jimmy Carr in his podcast. I haven’t listened to that yet. I’m planning on watching Jimmy Carr last night.
In Your Universe. Taylor Tomlinson, who some call the Taylor Swift of comedy, She’s at the Wind tonight and tomorrow. Taylor Thominson says, the win’s incredible, and the theater is incredible, and it feels like a very cool intimate space for being a big theater. Johnny Mack, is this really the top comedy story you slotted this one first? Are you setting something up here?
This story is very suspicious. Why is this the top story? It’s not very interesting that Taylor Thomson is playing the Wind. What’s going on here? Taylor said, as forest place to stay in Vegas, I think Win is number one.
It’s totally different from playing comedy clubs. You feel like you’re in show business for real at the Win, as opposed to some of the rooms I did when I was younger. She talked about her new television show After Midnight said, it’s been everything I wanted it to be. Honestly, I just wanted to work with all these people and grow through the process, learn some new skills. It’s allowed me to meet a lot of comics I’d never met in person.
It’s a really fun time because stand ups don’t usually get to play along and improvise with each other. You know. The big difference between Taylor Tomlinson playing the Win in the Golden Globes at the Wind. They have fewer camera shots of celebrities murdering her career over chokes. Joe Rogan had Neil Brennan on I have to catch up on that as well.
It’ll be my usual pattern of Friday night and Saturday, I’ll play video games and I’ll put my phone on my chest and I’ll listen to all these podcasts. Brennan revealed a sketch he wrote around Shane Gillis. He said, the week Shane got fired, whatever unhired, I thought of a sketch, and I was going to be in New York. I have sort of an open door policy at SNL or I could just write because I wrote there with Dave Chappelle. So I had a sketch idea.
His premise. It’s a couple they’re in bed and they’re like, so, any STDs you want to tell me about and they’re like, no, I’m clean, And then the characters followup question would be any podcasts. Brendan said, it was a good idea. We wrote it. Then it got kind of shelves my understanding with some of the people in the show didn’t appreciate it.
You know, the big difference between The Golden Globes and Joe Rogan’s podcast, Don’t You On Rogan’s show, the most awkward part of the show or the advertisings for mail enhancement supplements. At the Golden Globes, it’s the reaction shots of Taylor Swift, Rob Schneider has been in the news a lot lately, so has Conan O’Brien. That confluence of things has led the Internet to dust off this clip from one of Conan’s television shows. And as you’ll hear, this speaks to me in several ways. During the day, I hit the streets of a like with a sandwich board and try to get people out.
And I was in Denver, Colorado. Denver, Sure, And I says, A guy says, you’re doing a show here. I said, yeah, where the big auditoriumph how you get to play the big auditorium? I said, I’ll tell you. It’s not just me, it’s David’s Faine’ll be there, and and Nick Schwartzen too.
Well. By god, the fella said that from the Sandler movies, they’re fantastic. I’d pay anything. It’s just I don’t have much money. I’m down on my luck.
I says, I can get you tickets. I can get you tickets, sir, He goes, it would be a dream of a lifetime. I said, well, if you think that’s a dream, wait till you hear this. Adam Sandler will be there himself. My god, the guy said, I’ll bring me and my wife two.
Is that all right? I said, sure, I’ll get you two tickets. He says, what time’s the show? I said, it’s at eight o’clock. I said, also, Rob Schneider is there.
He said, eight o’clock’s not good. That’s when the news is up, which reminds me of the time half assed Norm MacDonald hosted The Golden Globes. Remember that one, Yeah, that was a pretty good episode of the Golden Globes. You remember his famous joke, don’t you you know what the big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL is, don’t you at the Golden Gloves if you’re a cava shots of Taylor Swift. Time magazine has released its annual Time one hundred list of the most influential people in the world.
This is the most influential people in the world. I actually didn’t check to see if Taylor Swift is on this list. I’m not doing a bit right now. Let me look she’s not, so that’ll give you a sense of how just insane this list is. Who’s on the list?
Johnny mack Well in comedy. Two comedians are on the Time one hundred list of the most influential people in the world. Okay, these are the most influential people in the world, so you’re probably thinking yourself, Oh, I don’t know, it’s got to be like Dave Schapelle or somebody like wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. You want to sit here for an hour and guess, because you’re never going to guess these two names, are you ready. The two comedians that have made Times one hundred most Influential People in the World include Alex Edelman and Maya Rudolph.
What Alex Edelman was honored by Fleabags Phoebe waller Bridge Phoebe Wrights. Over the past fifteen years, I’ve had the privilege of watching Alex Edelman constantly dazzle audiences and basement clubs, backs of taxis, comedy festivals, friends kitchens, and iconic London theaters. Alex’s ability to hold people in the palma’s hand is otherworldly. Blah blah blah. One of the one hundred most Influential people in the World, a list that does not include Taylor Swift.
Also on the list of the one hundred most Influential people in the world, Maya Rootolph. Yeah, Amy Poehler said, Maya Rootolph is a super talent who is late from within a performing polymath, She’s able to deliver her big laughs and deep emotions at the same time. We all fell in love with her on Saturday Night Live, where her characters so not only funny, they were having fun. Blah blah blah times one hundred most influential people in the world. Yeah, apparently this John Stewart thing isn’t working out the way everyone had hoped.
Late Nighter it sells us. The Daily Show averaged seven hundred and forty two thousand total viewers last week Monday. That’s up eleven percent from the week before. However, Person’s eighteen to forty nine, a demo that I’m sadly not in anymore, only got one hundred and eleven thousand people, down thirteen percent from the previous Monday, which means only US old people are watching John Stewart and I’m not even watching it. I just don’t think of it.
I don’t have Paramount Plus right now. Is it even on Paramount Plus? I guess it is. And I just don’t use the DVR anymore. Just sit down and go what’s on Netflix?
And I stare whatever they put in front of me. Like most people do these days. Let’s take a look at the festivals. Johnny Mack, did you remember to pre load the Melbourne Comedy Festival website? I actually did?
Can you believe it? I actually did, And I promised you yesterday I’d play a bunch of clips. So here are a bunch of clips. Damien Powers show is called not so funny, now is it? The Age gave it four and a half stars, presumably out of five, and said he’s cooked up his best show in half a decade.
Short old set, hilarious, gut punches, remain a marvel to behold, a right high praise there listen from dating again, and my mate’s like, oh, dude, it’s all about personality. Personality, It’s all about personality. Personality is just a defense mechanism that forms from your trauma. My mate’s like, oh, that guy’s easy going. You don’t know why he’s easy going.
He might have been mercilesslly bullied in high school. Kids shoved his head into the toilet and then he had to do a speech in front of the history class and he had a panic attack and everyone ridiculed him after that. Anyway, people say I’m easy going, which I put that on my dating profile. All right, I mean long way for a joke that you saw coming. But all right.
Geraldine Hicky’s show is called that Don’t Tease Me About My Gloves. Winner of the twenty twenty one Melbourne International Company Festival Award for Most Outstanding Show Time Out, says Hickey is a master four stars the age, no comment, but five stars. Let’s listen. I’ve got arthritis and it’s I’m I’m on medication. I’m on meth and anyone else on meth metatrecsay, that’s the one that I’m on, METATRECSA.
That’s the one that I used in chemotherapy. But I’m just microdosing. But before I started taking it, my doctor said, just so you know, you have to lower your alcohol intake when you take this, so you’re only allowed to have two to three standard drinks a week. And I was like, oh, that’s fine. Yeah, that’s about what I have anyway, so yeah, no problem.
Yeah it was. It wasn’t until the next day that I was like, hang on a second, there’s seven days in a week, two three stand drinks a week. Can’t do What if I stuff up when I have the two to three do you know what. You don’t tell me what to do. You don’t tell me how much I can drink.
I’m going to decide how much I’m going to drink. That’s up to me. I’m going to I’m going to have zero, that’s right, zero alcohol for me. I’m going to be sober. Yeah, I’m going to be his thing, I know.
And I could go the other way. Yeah, I could spend maybe ten minutes online and I would find a blog or Reddit comment just going you can drink as much as you want. I’m aware, right, But here’s the thing, I inherently trust the advice of medical professionals. Yeah. Like, for example, if I was an elite athlete, Yeah, and I was given what I was told was vitamin supplements, I would ask no further questions and I would just be thankful for my enhanced performance.
Yeah. I like her. A Loti’s, Geraldine Hickey couple, mister X in there, well crafted set, very very good. Lewis Garnum’s show is called Choosing the Wrong Story to Tell Short. I’ll gave it four stars and says it’s a rich source of edgy jokes.
Theodore travel says, a true artist, how could one man be so funny. I don’t know. Let’s listen. I am. I’m deaf in my left ear.
And when I was a kid, I never realized that headphones don’t distribute equal parts of the song through each headphone. I thought it was the same, it’s just fifty percent volume here, fifty percent there, but it’s stereo sound. Different elements of the song come through each different lyrics. Sometimes I was just walking around listening to my iPod. Honestly, for the first ten years of me hearing it, I only heard the high parts in Bohemian Rhapsody, and everyone was always like, yeah, it’s the greatest song of all time.
I’m like, yeah, but there’s a lot of gaps, Like it’s very good in parts, but it’s just weird how they just galile put something after that. Surely very very good, right, Yeah? I like him allt Lewis Graham choosing the wrong story to tell you do one more. Nick Schiller’s show was called Still Dry Wade, and no one has has reviewed this one. That doesn’t mean it’s not good.
Let’s find out. I found it’s very easy to annoy people who think political correctness has gone too far, like recently I’ve been going to my local golf club telling the members that they can’t say handicap, they have to say golfing accuracy disorder. They do not like it at all. In fact, they regularly ask if I have a mental golfing accuracy disorder. I like golf is to win golf, you have to take the fewest shots, which means the better you are at golf, the less time you spend playing golf.
That’s a nice idea. The better you are at an activity, the less time you spend doing that activity. When you’re really good at something for a very short amount of time, if an activity doesn’t last long, Nash names you’re really good at the activity. The short of the activity loss. The better you are at the activity.
If you finished in three strugs, you’ll like the best, All right? Is that bad? That’s Nick Schiller. I think the writing is better than the delivery. You know, in another universe, I’d love to see that material delivered by Mitch Hedberg or say Dimitri Martin, But that’s Nick Schiller.
If you’re in Dubai, Moe Gill again, that’ll be a good show. Spencer and Vogue, I’m not familiar with them, let me click. The couple welcomes you in for a hilarious evening, which is the curtain on their lives, from Spencer’s obsession with James Blunt to their shared competitiveness that has been the basis of their relationship since they met on the Jump. Somebody in the UK or something that’s like, how do you not know who Spencer and Vogue is? I don’t know who they are?
Another one of those Egyptian shows tonight and Alfred Adrie An two A’s is playing. Got two more days left of that festival and pull up a chair because it’s going to take a minute here to go through moon Tower. Maybe they’ll speed this up a little bit from what I did yesterday. Friday Night at Moontower. Gonna be a big show.
Let me fly through at five thirty, Cheers, Queer’s Billy Sketch Show at six, Industry Showcase at six Roywood, Junior Sugar Sammy and Andrew Schultz seven thirty, The Texans Amos Gill Moontower, eight o’clock Tagget Oh, we didn’t get to see that one yesterday. Todd Barry at eight, Tina Frimmel at eight, Andy Kindler at eight, thirty Stars and Bars, Liza Trigger. Brad Williams at nine thirty, needs to know Stamptown Comedy Store presents Connor, O’melly Moontower All Stars, Sheen and Blair’s Big Rib Rodeo at ten thirty. That Shane Taurus, Natalie Palamini’s on that one. Okay, that’s on the list.
Rosebud Baker at ten thirty and he gosh darned a comedy jam is the late show?
All right, let’s see if you and I were in Austin and we had my magical time t…
Early show. Do we want to do Andrew Schultz or do we want to drink it till late o’clock and go see Todd Berry. Let’s drink it till late o’clock and go see Todd Berry because his recent special was fantastic. That’ll bring us to the second half. Nine thirty.
Brad Williams absolutely, And for a late show, I’d love to see rosebud Baker, but that’s ten thirty. Won’t be able to time travel that much. So we’ll do best of the fest at the Parker Jazz Club with a Feerra Eisenberg and others. My we are getting quite long today. I’ve got so much to tell you about some new albums.
Richard Servat’s new comedy album, And They’re Gonna Know is out. I like his first track. It’s called cool People Go Out on Wednesday. You’ll find that via Blonde Medicine.
Also from Blonde Medicine, Daniel Van Kirk’s a new comedy special.
You’ll find that out on YouTube. The audio version will be out May third. That one’s called rose Gold, a Midwestern man’s wish that we all stop finding ways to disagree, start high fiving strangers again, and party in Wisconsin. Rose Gold is named for Daniel’s grandmother, Rosemary, who at ninety four years old, is a living example of what it means to just roll with whatever life throws at you. Track seven is called a Winner in Partyville, USA.
Coming out on the twenty third, Comedy Dynamics announced Sarah hester Ross’s a new special, Don’t Mess with a Redhead. Sarah invites you into the life of a TikTok famous woman who doesn’t want babies and leads the stop giving them in microphones movement so that one will be out next week. And that is your comedy news for today. Now, don’t forget to check out the podcast Taylor Swift Today for all the latest news about Taylor Swift. She’s got a new album out today.
And you know, one time, Joe coy neede a terrible, horrible, mean joke about Taylor Swift. It was so bad, I mean, should I play it? I don’t know. Do you want to hear it? You?
Sure? Yeah? Okay? As you know, came on after a football doubleheader. The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL.
On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift. I swear it was just where to go to here? Sorry about that,