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Caalaruga, Shark Media. Dona O’Brien, who’s sixty one years old. Somehow we’re all getting old. He’s going to host the Oscars March second. Academy CEO Bill Kramer and President Janet Yang said in a statement together as if they are the board, we are thrilled and honored to have the incomparable Conan O’Brien host the Oscars this year.
He is the perfect person help lead our global celebration of film with his brilliant humor, his love of movies, and his live TV expertise, his remarkable ability to connect with audiences. We’ll bring viewers together to do what the Oscars do best, honor the spectacular films and filmmakers of this year. What I’m worried about is I keep thinking back to Letterman hosting the Oscars and the Oscar crowd. They kind of like you to go down the middle. They like Billy Crystal.
I’m not sure they like, you know, Triumph, the insult comic dog. Not that I expect trying for the Oscars, but you never know. I mean, I’d love the heck out of that. But is Conan too weird for the Oscars? Crowd good.
We will find out. Conan O’Brien said, America demanded it, and now it’s happening. Taco Bell’s new cheesy chelupa supreme.
In other news, I’m hosting the Oscars.
Jimmy Kimmel reportedly declined in invitation to come back this year. John Mulaney is said to have also passed on the opportunity. None of that is a dig at Conan weird statements. Raj Kapor and Katie Mullen, who produced the ninety sixth Oscars, they’ll return for these ninety seventh Oscars, And they also put out a joint statement. What’s with the joint statements?
Like the borg, they said, Conan has all the qualities of a great Oscars host. He is incredibly witty, charismitic, and funny, and has proven himself to be a master of live event television. We so look forward to working with him to deliver a fresh, exciting and celebratory show for Hollywood’s biggest night. Some big names got together the other night to honor Gilbert Godfried’s life and to raise funds for muscular dystrophee research. Among the attendees, David Tel Susi Sman, Judy Gold, Richard Kind, Robert Smigel, Paul Schaeffer, Chevy Chase, Jeff Ross, and Salvacano.
A lot of John mullany in the news lately. He told g Qdogg the Late Night Show really made me enjoy LA. Something clicked where I was like, Oh, this feels like the future. There’s so much going on, aerospace, shipping, agriculture, industry. This Hollywood thing is pretty tiny.
When he brings back whatever he winds up doing for the new incarnation of the Late Night Show, he says, there’s a quote I heard about Edward Hopper that he was a great artist, but he was only a good painter. But if he had been a better painter, he would have been a worse artist. I sort of feel like, if we try to make the show better, it could be worse. You go on instinct over data and recklessness over planning. I love it.
Letterman gave John Mulaney some advice, which is, when you’re running the weird show, you have to be the least weird person on it. Everybody’s going to be saying let’s do this and let’s do that, and you’re the one having to modulate the gas and brakes. James Acaster will have an HBO special. It is called Heckler Is Welcome. In Heckler’s Welcome, James Acaster relinquishes control of his set and lets the audience interfere.
Acaster said, performing in a round a theater I went to growing up, with the audience chipping in whatever they felt like me. This was the most I’ve ever enjoyed filming a special. I’m delighted it’s coming to you HBO.
Also, I’ve jumped on the stage via trampoline, and I don’t want that to go un…
There is a trailer. Let’s listen before we begin. Here are the house rules. James Acaster cannot get annoyed at the audience if they heckle, talk amongst themselves on their phones, or are quieter than he would like. Richard, what is wrong with using James Acaster may not single anybody else was not heckled the most cringe moment of my entire life, and I was the only person in there here.
Even though he spent his entire career joining to Matick. This they control every single detail and every single show he’s ever done. James Acaster has to accept whatever happens. Look, if you haven’t enjoyed the show tonight, please take some consolation in the fact it used to be a lot worse. James Acaster Heckler is welcome.
November twenty third, that’s like this week. That’s Saturday, ten pm. Trump got reelected and people are asking Kathy Griffin it again. You may recall she posts for photos holding a mask of the president, a smeared in ketchup that did not go over well. Kathy said, I stand by the photo and never should have apologized.
The only thing I’m taking back is the apology. Trump used the entire DOJ to come after me. It was like, good old Kathy Griffin. You know her from tilling Penis jokes and for making fun of the Kardashians. But now she’s the DOJ’s number one enemy.
Kathy said it wasn’t until last year, and that incident was six years ago. That last year she finally started getting invited back to places that wouldn’t have her. One of those. The Mirage in twenty seventeen put out a statement that said Griffin’s photo clearly crosses the line of respect and decency. Kathy tells a story and says, I got a woman who worked with the guy at the mirage who banned me for life, and she goes, that guy’s dead.
I was like, that’s why I’m being asked back. So I just decided I’m gonna wait them all out and assume that I’m back at most of these venues because whoever banned me is dead now. Want of Sikes talked about the election with Jimmy Kimmel and said, I mean, it’s so many reasons why you can say it happened. But you know a lot of us aren’t like totally shocked, because sometimes America is just gonna America. Send your letters to Wanta Pykes.
She jokes, I blame all those damn Cheerio commercials showing all those interracial couples. You scare the crap out of white people. What do y’all do and just sell the damn cereal? Why you gotta be bringing us into this? You may find it interesting and relevant to the joke that Wanda isn’t an interracial marriage.
Wanna continued, So why are the majority of white women not voting for another woman? And I’m like, y’all need to watch more Bravo. Why you shocked. Have you seen the Bachelor women tear each other apart over dude? So why do you think this wasn’t gonna happen the Real Housewives?
I mean they do the same thing. Wanda was upset about one part of Trump’s campaign, quoting Wanda, You’re supposed to be trying to fix the problems of America, right, So it’s targeted community that’s less than one percent of the population. You’re focusing on that on sex changes. How about focus on climate change that affects everybody instead of sex changes. That’s like less than one percent of the population.
And it’s all fears. Oh you know, your son goes to school as a boy and comes home as a girl. And I’m like, relax, it’s a man bunch. Shut up. Stormy Daniels did a comedy set the State Journal Register was there, Daniels brand.
He said, people ask why you’re still a Republican. Why haven’t you changed? Stormy said, because it makes Republicans so mad? And I’m that kind of petty. Stormy asked, how are these our only options for president?
It’s the hypocrisy of the whole thing. Some comedians are upset that she’s doing stand up, Stormy says, we all know I do my best work laying down. It’s way more fun. Dick van Dike wait in, Dick Vandyke is ninety eight years old. A paparazzo yelled out to a ninety eight year old man, hey, does the future look bright for America?
Ninety eight year old Dick Vandyke didn’t hear the question at first, but the paparazzo repeated it. Dick said, I hope you’re right. The photographer followed up, do you think Donald Trump is capable of making America great again? Dick Vandyke said, Fortunately, I won’t be around to experience the four years. Send your letters to Dick van Dijke.
It is the last day of the New York Comedy Festival. Let’s see if their website wants to load today. It’s somewhat did not too bad, not too much. Going on five p fifteen at the New York Comedy cl Upper West Side. Leonard Ootz He’s doing a live special taping.
He’s a lot of fun. You should check that out. Zarnagar gives your big name tonight her show Practical People Win at town Hall at seven, and that’ll put a rap on the New York Comedy Festival. I can delete this bookmark and move on. Lloyd Griffith is a comedian.
He wrote about his hair transplant for The Guardian. Lloyd writes, twenty five years later, I’m sitting in hair and makeup on the set of Soccer Am while the makeup artist covered up the bags under my eyes. I got home at two am after doing a comedy gig, and then got up again at six after touching up my face. She reached for a pot and started sprinkling black powder generously on my hair and said it’s for the cameras so the lights don’t balance off your bald patches. I felt as if I’d been heckled, but at no comeback.
My stomach dropped. It was the first time I’d been described as bald. I was aware my hair had been fitting for the past three or four years, but I thought I’d be getting away with it. I’d comb my hair left or right to conceal my scalp, and then use the hair island at the front of my head to try and camouflage the aforementioned comb over. This is my future.
I see this coming. I’m at the point now well I look all right on a normal day, but boy, when I get out of the shower, yikes. In comedy, you spend years trying to hone your usp and my character and voice had always included the fact that I had hair. I was fat, and I made jokes about that. I didn’t want to be fat and bald.
Lloyd explains, there’s a very regimented after care procedure. Sleeping upright for five nights, spring your hair every half hour with saline, making sure nothing goes anywhere near your head for fourteen days, no sexual acts for ten days, and the list goes on. I took about one hundred photos of my head and a cab on the way back, and I didn’t edit a single one. I’d been reborn. I’m now in my ugly duckling phase, where the hair has started a shed and my head is patchy, a process we’re told to trust as over the next six months I should start to see the results.
And that’s your comedy news for today. If you enjoy the program, sail a friend about it, they might like it too. If you would like to show without commercial interruption, hey, I get it. We’ve got solutions for you. One solution If you’re on Apple Podcasts, there’s a banner there.
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