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Caloroga Shark Media. Hey, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. On today’s show. Bill Burr’s on Kimmel and drops a million F bombs while talking about Los Angeles Eddie Griffin as a conspiracy theory about the fires, sketch Fest kicks off in San Francisco, and what did Pete Davidson say that hurt Nicky Glazer’s feelings? All right?
Bill Burr was on Jimmy Kimmel and talked about having to evacuate his house. I’ve got a long clip here. All the bleaves are where bird dropped F bombs. Hey, Bill Burr, have you not done TV before? Are you not familiar with how Late Night goes?
Why are you dropping F bombs? Anyway, here’s the clip. It’s very good to see you. I argue you had to evacuate your home. Yes, yes, like most people, I had to.
I got lucky. You know, the winds moved, but you know the fire was coming and all that stuff. So I feel lucky. Are you getting back? And I think everybody did a great job.
Yeah, I’m like the internet, you know, right, I know it’s right. Oh my god, all of. These fire experts Why didn’t you just fly a helicopter. Into the ocean? And I don’t know because it was one hundred nin wins.
You want to do that? You want to do that at night? You lunatic? How are you? This was definitely mismanaged.
That’s a big word we’re hearing now, mismanaged like some idiot on the internet knows how to manage the worst fire in LA, sitting there in his underwear. You know what. Looking at the footage on the internet, I have determined that this here was mismanaged. You know about helicopters because I remember, and it’s interesting now thinking about it, because you said about it. I know about the one that I fly.
Other than that, I don’t know anything about it. You know something on the internet. You know everything you know about. It because you said that, you learned, you got your pilot’s license In case like all hell broke loose in LA, you could get out of LA. And at any moment did you think I’m going to make a run for that helicopter.
Well, the error in my thought was I didn’t realize how expensive helicopters were, So all I have is a two seater and I didn’t want to have to make Sophie’s choice with my family. Kimmel shared a discussion he had with his brother. According to Kimmel, he started talking to old lady who honestly believed that Diddies started the fires. Diddy, who was in prison in New York, managed to start the fire, and she believed this. There’s a story going around on TikTok that says the fires were started on purpose by elites who intend to destroy Diddy’s pedophile escape tunnels.
Because they’re evidence. This is something real people believe, said Kimmel. My legal department just wants to point out we hear Daily Comedy News have no knowledge of Diddy having pedophile escape tunnels. I’m just quoting Jimmy Kimmel. Apparently, Eddie Griffin talked about this theory on his YouTube channel on a video uploaded on the fourteenth.
The Griffin apparently said, LA is on fire and a lot of people are saying it’s to cover up the pedal file trial. And suddenly all the water ain’t working. Let’s pray for the mf rs out there. The houses is burning down, and chef unless they pedophiles. If they are pedophiles, f them.
Let’s get that burned because I don’t know what you’re doing. You’re burning the evidence up, sons of bees, but we’re still gonna catch it. Sticking with late night, apparently Trump was up late watching TV. At one twenty four am on Tuesday morning, Trump went on truth Social and wrote, how bad is Seth Meyers on NBC? Well, you know that’s not the worst point.
How bad is Seth Meyers on NBC? A network run by a truly bad group of people. I got stuck watching Marblemouth Myers the other night, the first time in months, and every time I watched this moron, we should tell Trump about the remote controls and stuff. Every time I watch this more on, I feel an obligation to say how dumb and untalented he is. Merely a slot filler for the scum that runs Comcast.
These guys should be paying a lot of money for the right to give these kind of in kind contributions to the radical left Democrat Party. These are not shows, are entertainment. They’re simply political hits one hundred percent of the time to me and the Republican already, Comcast should pay a big all caps price for this. It is unclear what particularly led Trump to jump on truth social and comment on Seth Myers. Trump apparently enjoys Late Night, previously calling Stephen Colbert very boring, Jimmy Fallon weak and pathetic, and Jimmy Kimmel a loser.
I’d missed this one. I think it came out kind of quick to the event. But last Friday, the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles hosted a fundraiser for the Los Angeles Fire Foundation. All proceeds from both Friday shows went to the foundation. Jamie Massada is the club’s owner and said the club is proud to lift up our heroes or putting their lives online to save people in property across the LA.
Our firefighters are real life superheroes. Laugh Factory president David Feurer added, our firefighters are real life superheroes, and we’re proud to support them in their mission to keep the community safe. Eliza Slessengers playing Vancouver on Friday. She lives in LA. Her house is okay, but she told Global News what is heartening is seeing how quickly my city jumped into action, how quickly the donation centers were a capacity, how much all of a sudden the city.
That’s very much in terms of socioeconomic A list versus B list. How quickly that all just melted away and was just like, come on over, what can I do? How can we help those on the ground. In situations like this, you realize how big human hearts can be and that you really can rely on one another. Prior to this, the most apocalyptic situation I’ve been in was like an airport during the holidays.
We see people at their worst. Sometimes it takes the worst to see us at our best. In San Francisco, today, Sketch Fest kicks off the twenty twenty five Comedy Festival. This is a great event, over one hundred and ninety shows today through February second. Let’s start with these stand up comedians were performing, including Maria Bamford, Chris Fleming, Jolkim Booster, Dulce, Sloan Rhys Darby, Robbie Hoffman, Punky Johnson, A Partner and Turla, the Scar Brothers and Norri Davis, Josh Gonoman, Alison Leeby, Kate Willett, Hampton Yent, Nori Reed, Todd Berry, Todd Glass, and many more.
The SF Sketch Test dozen is a yearly spotlight of twelve top comedians this year Sophie Buttle, Britney Carney, Carmen, Christopher, Marie Fauston, Ross Fernandez, Kevin Iso, Bo Johnson, Rachel Kayley, Salter, Hio, Ikachuku, Ufomando, Eagle Witt, and Sabrina Wu. The forty fifth anniversary of the film Airplane That I’m Trying to Get My Daughter to Watch will be celebrated with a special live read featuring co creators Jerry and David Zucker, original stars Robert Hayes and Julie Haggerty, and surprise guests. Napoleon Dynamite celebrates its twentieth anniversary with a live read featuring the film stars, sketch comedy favorites. The State will present a live read of their unproduced musical, A Holiday Hubbub at Porcupine Corners. Three members of the Kids in the Hall Bruce mccallaugh, Kevin McDonald Scott Thompson, will team up with the Bay Area’s Red Room Orchestra for a night of songs and the sketches from Kids in the Hall Stuff the George Lucas Talk Show, which is a lot of fun on the interwebs.
If you’ve ever seen that. Connor Ratliffe is in town. He’ll be doing the George Lucas Talk Show, which is always fun.
Also a fake acting class and a parody reading of the Star Wars holiday specia…
Carol lot going on here. The cast of children’s hosts in Futuramo reunite. The fiftieth anniversary of the Groundings will be celebrated with an all stars show. A lot of all Stars have gone through the Groundlings. Some Groundlings who you’ve heard of probably live in La So we’ll see if that affects things, but that could be major.
Bill Murray and his Blood Brothers band are out there. SF sketchfest dot com for all the information there. Really fantastic festival. I got to do it. It’s been a minute now and I just got back from Aunt Artrico.
So right now it’s a little hard to tell my wife, Hey, I’m gonna go to San Francisco because it’s the forty fifth anniversary of Airplane and you know podcast the Wall Street Journal profile Pete Davidson. He loves Staten Island. He says, in all these other places, people move to a neighborhood and gentrify it. They put in insomnia cookies over there and call it a day. But in Stanton Island, it’s all homegrown businesses, really hard working people.
It’s the only place in New York where people just leave me alone. They were curious what time Pete gets up on a Monday and what’s the first thing he does. The answer, if I’m not working, I probably get up around ten thirty. Then I try to work out of meet. I just started working out, and they were curious, what’s Pete Davidson’s workout routine like?
Pete says, I’m lifting a lot of weights. I’m trying to bulk up and look like an adult. I have a bird body, and as I’m getting older, I just can’t look like a child anymore. Pete says, I’m working out minimum five days a week, doing meal prep and eating a lot of protein. I’m not a very good eater.
I’m very very skinny and shrimp like. I also have crones, so it’s always been difficult to eat and diet and I kind of finally figured out how to do it. So The Wall Street Journal asked how do breakfast and coffee fit into your morning? Random follow up, but Pete answered, I’m not a big breakfast guy, but you should always eat breakfast. This is like ABC promo from the cartoons on Saturday mornings in the seventies.
You should always eat breakfast. So if I can’t eat breakfast, which is usually a bacon, egg and cheese, I’ll love a protein shake. I love coffee. Sometimes I’ll do iced black coffee, and then sometimes I like the pumpkin spice for the peppermint. Pee should started buying in coffee.
Pete, you’re in the process of removing your tattoos. Are there any you’re keeping? What’s with the Hilary tattoo? Pete said, I burned off all all the tattoos in my arms, and now I’m working on the chest and back. The Hillary one is gonna stay there because I know her really well and I love her.
I just think she’s a very important figure in our nation’s history, one of the most important women ever. She’s super resilient and it’s just a tough lady. So it’ll always stay there. Nikki Glaser told the Vogue podcast about something Pete Davidson said that hurt nerve feelings. Niki told Vogue, guys still think about some of the jokes that have been made about me from Rose six years ago, and they still haunt me.
I’m seeing them when I look in the mirror. They will uncover things about you that you don’t even know about yourself. It’s a thing that you’ve always been like, I think this about me, but I’m just really mean to me. No one else has noticed it. What did Pete say?
Glazer says, Pete joked that NICKI doesn’t have an ass NICKI said, I mean, I knew I didn’t, and I know I don’t. But the fact that Pete Davidson had taken it in and sat with it, and I sat with it too, and it hurts because I don’t have an ass. But the fact that he had really thought about it, where maybe somebody wrote the joke for him, but he at least had to be like that works for her, and it hurt me. Big inauguration coming up on Monday. TMZ reports that THEO Vaughn has been invited and will attend.
I’ll let you know if any other comedians plan on attending. Let’s check in on John Mulaney’s Broadway show All In a Comedy about Love. Apparently it’s cracked the top five grossing shows. All in a Comedy about love, features readings of short stories, and it brought in close to one point seven million dollars at the Hudson Theater and played to one hundred percent capacity. That was to see the cast of John Mulaney, Fred Armisen, Richard Kind, and Chloe Feineman.
It’s a rotating cast, though. The next line up is Lin Manuel, Miranda, Adie Bryant, Andrew Reynolds and Nick Curll. In case you’re curious how one point seven million dollars compares to other shows, the top spot went to Wicked, which grows two point four million dollars. Fantastic show. I’ve seen it, Hamilton, You’ve probably heard of that one.
I’ve seen that too, one point eight five million. The Lion King still bowling in the money at one point seventy five million. I’ve never seen line kingning on Broadway, nor have I seen Gypsy, which was fourth with one point seven four to eight million dollars. Can you hear? My voice is still no good?
It’s so annoying. I was sick, then I got healthy before the trip, which was great, and then I’m an idiot. I flew for a four hour flight and a ten hour flying on a plane, and I know better I should wear a mask, but you know what, I didn’t have a mask, and at the Oshawai Airport in Argentina didn’t know how to acquire a mask, so I cowboyed it.
And now I have this stupid cold and my voice still has the fuzz in it.
I’ve been back for a week and change and drive me nuts. That’s your comed news for today. You know I like coffee too. You could buy me a coffee, and if I run into Pete Davidson, I’ll pass your five dollars a long and I’ll buy Pete Davidson a coffee. I would love to buy Pete Davidson a coffee.
Pete, I know you’re listening. Text me one way to sport the show. Go to buy me a coffee. Dot com slash Daily Comedy News. I will take your money.
I will go to the National Donus chain. I will order on the app. I don’t even talk to anybody in all the times I’d be like, hey, can I get a large iced coffee with caramel and milk? But no, I don’t have to do that anymore. I have an app.
I could be completely at the social I drive, I walk in. It’s sitting there. It says John M on the cup. Don’t steal my coffee when they get back in the car, Buy me a coffee. Dot com slash Daily Comedy News.
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See you tomorrow.