🎙️ Listen to this episode:
Full Transcript
Caloroga Shark Media. From the basement studio where if you think you hear barking dogs and construction workers, you too. It’s a busy day here. Good show today. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News.
Thank you, DC and band. Madonna stop buy the Comedy Seller on Saturday night to do some comedy. She was brought there by her good friend Amy Schumer, who wants us to talk about her. Amy’s got a movie coming out. In Insider shared, Madonna was brought to the club by Amy.
She did a full thirty minute set. She did well enough, but the audience was so stunned it was Madonna that it took them the entire set to warm up to her. She didn’t do as well as she’d think she would. She got laughs every time she dropped an F bomb, just because just hearing Madonna curse is funny. What do you mean she didn’t do as well as you’d think she would.
Did you think Madonna was gonna be good up stand up comedy at the Comedy Seller. It’s like a karaoke singer getting up at Madison Square Garden with their gym. Bad talk talking about the source revealed Madonna nailed a joke about with all these Trump deportations, she’s not gonna have any staff left. That got some good laughs, but really everyone was just so shocked she was there. According to the Insider, Madonna was there with her boyfriend and left ten minutes after her performance.
Amy Schumer, who wants us to talk about her she’s got a movie coming out. In February, shared a picture of herself Madonna taken at the comedy seller. In the picture, they’re both wearing black outfits. Madonna is pecking Schumer on her cheek. Madonna reposted the picture on her Insta along with the caption, last night was fun.
Thank you Amy Schumer making my stand up comedy debut. What a thrill.
And then she said something a little dirty.
I don’t want to share. Thank you. Amy. Shane Gillis is upset that Notre Dame didn’t win the college championship. He said, I was looking at the confetti watching Ohio State and just sitting there.
I called my agent immediately. I was like, let’s book a show and give all the money to Notre Dame. He joked about the funds from the California Wildfire’s fundraiser and said Notre Dame needs a defensive tackle. I need to give that to an eighteen year old. Staying with football, Jimmy Kimmel with an awesome Joe.
Taylor Swift has now been more Super Bowls than the New York Jets. Taylor Thomlinson weighed in on sports betting and pointed out, you can now wager on what Taylor Swift will wear to the Super Bowl. Tomlinson said, Yeah, that’s right. Some guy’s gonna have to go home and tell his wife that he blew their kids college fund because Taylor Swift didn’t wear a ponytail like you thought. Jimmy Fallon said, if you’re rooting for the Eagles, you’re probably from Philly, and if you’re rooting for the Chiefs, you’re probably an NFL referee.
Love it’s some of those calls, man, what are we doing? Jimmy Kimmel criticized Trump. It seemed like Trump to credit for the Chiefs winning. On truth social the President wrote, congratulations to the Kansas City Chiefs. What a great team, coach, quarterback, and virtually everything else, including those fantastic fans that voted for me.
Parentheses, mega exclamation point in record numbers. Likewise, congratulations with the Buffalo Bills on a tremendous season. They will do a lot of winning long into the future. Kim Will pointed out, that’s right. The real AFC champion is Donald Trump.
Bill Burr was on Rich Eisen Show. He commented on the referees and said, I don’t think it’s fixed. I think it’s massashed. It’s definitely more backgrounds on one side. It’s thick.
Where’s the money? Come on, man, they got all the stars, I got Taylor Swift. I mean that’s gonna be a lot. It’s a business. Why are they an Edge Tamier League?
Why aren’t they a sports league? I don’t watch Chief games? Strikes me insane. Late night had a pretty good night. I know I haven’t done late night jokes in a while, but this was a good set.
They talked about AI. You may have seen that the Chinese introduced deep Seek in the stock market didn’t react so well. John Stewart asked, who names an AI company after the thing it actually does? Where are your random letters? Where your cheapt your grock?
Deep Seek sounds like what you might use it for. China’s even beating us at naming staff. I know this is bad financially, but has anyone else excited that AI had its job replaced by Ai? Taylor Thomson commented on CEO’s hiring AI’s over gen Z. Listen up, CEOs, this is very short sighted.
If you don’t hire gen Z, who you gonna cheat on your spells with? That’s a very very funny joke. Stephen Colbert weighed in on Trump threatening an emergency twenty five percent tariff on Colombian imports depunch line, into which Don Junior said, wait, not everything from Colin? All right, think about it. After Midnight with Taylor Thomason announced on Thursday they will have their first ever all drag queen panel.
Apparently the panel is Jinx Monsoon, Ben De La Krem, and Peaches Christ. I’m not familiar with any of them. I do want to share with you this impression has been making the round. Comedian Jonathan Kite has a killer Anthony Boardine impression, and he posted a video of an Anthony Boardane episode where Boardeen visits Costco. Let’s just share like thirty seconds of it, But what a great impression.
Cost go a land of abundance where your wildest snack dreams and deepest regrets are sold by the pound everywhere you look, rolling fields of clothing, couches, and cot But one doesn’t come here exclusively for the mounds of groceries and flat screen TV’s, but rather the famous. Eatery Kelsey Cook has announced her second special, Mark Your Territory. It’ll be on Hulu and YouTube on February eleventh. This was recorded in Madison, Wisconsin, after she moved to Minnesota in the dead of winterter to live with her boyfriend, comedian Chad Daniels. In the special, Kelsey Cook tells us about the perks of dating an older man, the insanity of IUD insertions, navigating a parent with dementia, and much more.
It’s notable that this special is going to premiere both on Hulu and YouTube at the same time. There’s a trailer note that she’s working clean here, very good. There’s a couple solid laughs. I laughed out loud at this, stay with it. When he and I got together, we had that conversation about labels because I felt ready to be called boyfriend and girlfriend and he goes, ah, you know, being in my forties, I feel like I’m a little old to be called somebody’s boyfriend, but if you call me your man friend, it sounds like I’m not allowed to near playgrounds.
I was like, all right, well, what are you gonna call me? And he goes, I’ll just be like, this is milady, and I was like, well, we’re not at a renaissance fair, so no.
Also, I can’t use the equivalent of that.
I can’t be like, mom, dad, I’d like you to meet my lord. And he’s also a comedian. And I wasn’t much of a jealous girlfriend in my twenties, but then some switch flipped in my thirties, and now when I see somebody hit on the person i’m with, I just feel myself anamorph into the cast of Jersey Shore. I am ready to brawl. And he does get hit on.
When he walks on stage, women whistle at him, and at comedy clubs there’s usually a security guard in the back to kick people out in case they heckle. So at his shows, I’ve just started to stand next to the security guard, and if I see a woman laughing too hard at one of his jokes, I just walk up and I’m like, hey, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. He’s my favorite comedian. Well, he’s my lord. Roseanne Bar tells Variety that she wrote a new comedy series.
It will star Bar and be four to six episodes, in line with the UK’s comedy format. It’s a cross between The Roseanne Show and The Sopranos. Roseanne says. It centers on a small town farmer in Alabama who is saving the United States from drug gangs and China. The protagonist dabbles and growing and selling drugs like cannabis and magic mushrooms.
Roseanne says it’s silly and out there. It’ll contain very offensive ideas and a lot of swearing. I live with my daughter and her husband and their six children on a farm and they have goats running through their house and stuff. It’s based on my life as a farmer in Hawaii. They save America with guns, the Bible, petty crime, and alcoholism.
It’s kind of like the Coen Brothers thing. You may recall. In twenty eighteen, Roseanne Barr made a comment about a Michelle Obama aid that I don’t want to repeat or dance with at all. Barr was then dropped by her agents and the Roseanne reboot moved on without Roseanne. As for the new show, she says she’ll shop into Hollywood.
If Hollywood doesn’t buy it, I’m just gonna make it myself. Does anybody in Hollywood? Like America? Are the people that watch TV? Because the people watch TV would really like to see a show where working glass people win against the enemies of America.
From baller alert dot com, You’re home for comedy news, Eddie Griffin weighed in on Snoop Dogg. You may have seen Snoop and made the headlines for agreeing to perform at Trump’s crypto ball ahead of the inauguration. Some people labeled Snoop a sellout. Eddie Griffin said, Black Twitter’s up at arms because Snoop performed at Donald trump pregame inauguration. So what’s the problem You all didn’t get mad when Kamala lying ass Harris paid twenty million dollars to Oprah to make an appearance.
He got paid. He’s in the business to get paid. He got the right to jump ship f them Democrats. The rest of you, m effer is get your stuff together. Griffin went on to credit Trump for making changes, especially to child support.
Eddie said he already saved you from child support to tyranny from a woman who’s raping your check before you even get it. They doing you just like the GD government, effing you out of your GD money. Trump took care of that. Snoop Dogg has responded to the criticism and said, get your life right. It’stop burning about mine.
I’m cool, I’m together, still a black man, still one hundred percent black. All out to you ball out or till you fall out. When Dave Schappelle hosted Saturday Night Live, he joked about the Ditty parties. Quoting Dave, he said, I saw one thing on the internet. I’m not sure it’s true, probably doubt it’s true, but I saw it.
Some guy who said he knew Puffy was like, yeah, I was at the freak Off one time and Puff was there with Carl Winslow, the dad from Family Matters. Seventy two year old reginaldvell Johnson played Carl Winslow on Family Matters. He had to chime in on the rumor. He said, the stuff that came out is so false, but I have to hear it every now and then. But Dave Chappelle made it funny and I really appreciate that.
That was really cool. He made it seem very civil. It was kind of nice to see him talk about me. I just wish he was talking about something a little bit better than the stupid lie with Ditty, but he made it funny, and I appreciate that it made me look good. The Guardian caught off with comedian Sean McLaughlin and they were curious, Hey, Sean McLaughlin, what was it like opening for Ricky Gervase at the Hollywood Bowl.
Sean said, I don’t know where to begin. The dressing room was bigger than my flat, and the stage is so vast it took me twenty seconds to reach the microphone after my name was called. There’s seventeen thousand people in the crowd and it’s open air, so I could hear my voice ricocheting around the valley. I just tried to focus on my jokes. What was difficult because Dave Grohl was in the front row staring at me.
It felt like walking on Mars or something. But I’m pretty sure I had a good one. The next night, I did a show in the back of a magic club and died as hard as I have in years. Bess Ecko. He says, heckling is pointless.
If anyone is going to ruin my audience this night, it should be me. Can you recall a gig so bad it’s now funny? Sean says. I once hosted a comedy and poetry show at a university’s summer ball. The show started at midnight and the lineup was myself in five poets.
They did some passable crowd work at the top and brought on the first poet. It launched it in a truly horrible piece called instant Rigor Mortis. The drunk students understandably started to leave in droves, but I was obliged to go on stage and introduce poet after poet, each more sow than the last. There were three hundred people the audience when the show started, in less than ten by the time it ended. And that is your comedy news for today.
If you enjoy the program, tell a friend about it. They might like to join us in the Facebook group. It is Daily Comedy News Podcast group. And I’ll see here tomorrow.