Author: johnnymacdcn

---

Full Transcript

Callaroga, Shark Media. Outbit Outlaugh Outlast. This is Comedy Survivor. I’m Johnny Mack and this is the elimination show. For Week five of Comedy Survivor, sixteen comedians were stranded on an island, and every week the listeners vote one person off Comedy Island.

You do that by going to the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group and you write down one name still in the game. Jay Leno, Jim Gaffigan, Nicky Glazer, Seth Myers, Kevin Hart, John Mulaney, Otsko at Kotzka, Sebastian Manascalco, Tick Nataro, Sarah Silverman, Leslie Jones, and Bert Krascher. But now it’s time to tell you the votes. Mike D. Votes for Bert Kreischer, Sure Mike C.

Votes for Seth Myers. Rob votes for Jay Leno. Matt votes for Jay Leno. That’s two votes for Jay Leno. Heather votes for Leslie Jones.

Aaron votes for Seth Myers. That’s two votes for Seth Myers, two votes for Jay Leno, Andrea votes for Sebastian Manascalco, Scott votes for Tig Nataro, Michelle votes for Nikki Glaser Von votes for Otsco at Coontska. Todd votes for Leslie Jones. That’s two votes for Leslie Jones, two votes for Seth Myers, two votes for jay Leno. Dylan votes for j Leno.

That’s three votes for j Leno, Andy votes for Leslie Jones, three votes Leslie Jones, three votes jay Leno. Roppie votes for Leslie Jones. It’s getting very interesting. That’s four votes for Leslie Jones. Cheryl votes for j Leno, four votes for j Leno, Barbe quotes for j Leno, five votes for j Leno, four votes for Leslie Jones.

And the final vote comes from Mary, who votes for Leslie Jones. We have a tie. Under the rules of Comedy Survivor, all ties will be decided by Spruce the AI Spruce, can you read back the votes to make sure there was no mistake? Of course, let’s double check the votes. I’ll read them in order of who voted and for whom.

First, Mike DeLoach voted for Burt Kreischer. Next, Mike Chishom voted for Seth Myers, Rob Kates voted for j Leno. Matt Palmer voted for jay Leno. Heatheraza Jones voted for Leslie Jones. Aaron Lublowitz voted for Seth Myers.

Bar Bames voted for Jay Leno, Andrea Pascal voted for Sebastian Manasklco, Scott Beckett voted for Take Nataro. Michelle Stevens voted for Nikki Glaser. Yvonne Kelly voted for Rotsuko at Coska. Todd Smith voted for Leslie Jones. Dylan Thominson had an image vote for Jay Leno.

Andy Luck voted for Leslie Jones. Robbie Levoby voted for Leslie Jones. Shril Wonko voted for j Leno, and Mary Rye voted for Leslie Jones. That gave us a tie five votes for jay Leno and five for Leslie Jones. No mistakes there.

Okay, Spruce. Under the rules of Comedy Survivor, you get you cast the deciding vote. Who are you sending home? Are you sending home Leslie Jones? Were Jay Leno?

And please tell us why? All right, since I’m casting the deciding vote, let’s break it down. Both have been on the radar, but I’d lean towards jay Leno. Why He’s had multiple weeks of the votes and represents a legacy target that people keep circling back to. Strategically, Removing him might shift the dynamics and force people to reevaluate their next moves.

So in this round, I’d send jay Leno home. Wow. AI sends j Leno home. J Leno, the AI has spoken, We’ll take the break and we’ll come back and we’ll analyze that vote. Wow.

This is so much fun to do. Every week. It’s a lot more production with the music beds and grabbing the AI voice and all that, but it’s so much fun to do. And I’m terrified I’m going to miscalut the votes, but you heard the AI. Check my work.

The AI analysis says legacy targeting is no longer theoretical. So far voted off Amy Schumer, Adam Sandler, JOKOI, Ron White, and now Jay Leno. That’s a pattern. This was the week two strong coalitions formed one group to finish what they started and get rid of jay Leno with some Leslie Jones movement this week, and interestingly, tig Nataro stayed pretty safe this week. AI says Leslie has now appeared multiple times and multiple weeks with different voters for different reasons.

That’s dangerous territory, but she did escape this week. Jay Leno, his name has been around for weeks. People kept talking about voting him off later and later has arrived. Looking ahead, the AI analysis says, these people seem safe, but you never know what happens in Comedy Survivor. But the AI thinks Jim Gaffigan, John Mulaney, Nikki Glaser, Kevin Hart, Sarah Silverman, and Sebastian Menscalco seem pretty safe.

Who might be in trouble? Leslie Jones, tig Nataro keeps being mentioned as a target, Osco at Kotska and the I don’t know who that is vote and maybe, just perhaps people are going to get sick of Bert Kreischer still in the game. Jim Gaffigan, Nikki Glaser, Seth Myers, Kevin Hart to John muliny, Osko at Katska, Sebastian Manaskalko, tig Nataro, Sarah Silverman, Leslie Jones, and Bert Krascher. Week six voting is now open. It will continue until end of day Thursday.

Here’s what you do. You go to the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast group. You will find a photo of me extinguishing the torch of Jay Leno, and in that thread you will vote for one comedian. You are voting someone off the island, one vote per person. Make it clear I am voting off Joe Schmoe.

We don’t want a controversy. That would be terrible. Jay Leno eliminated from Comedy Survivor. This is a lot of fun. I will see you in the morning with a normal episode.

Go vote

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hi there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, a daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. A sentence the algorithm really likes. Pete Davidson’s got a new thing on Netflix. They’re calling a podcast.

Johnny Mack says, in no way, whatsoever is that a podcast. Vulture has weighed in on this. They write, though, build as a Netflix podcast, the Pete Davison Show doesn’t feel like a podcast in any conventional sense, and they go on to write, you know, it’s got some stuff in common with a podcast, as a host and a guest and their chairs are vaguely facing each other and they’re just having a conversation. Some people think that’s what a podcast is. Culture writes, but is the Pete Davidson Show actually a podcast?

I’ll answer no, But they say, well, it’s podcast ish in that it nominally invokes the medium’s familiar tropes, But that doesn’t answer the ques question. A simple thought experiment helps. If the Pete Davidson Show had been produced by a different entity and distributed elsewhere, it would register as a good looking, high end celebrity podcast. But as a show produced by and distributed exclusively on Netflix, it’s difficult to beat the chargers. The Pete Davison Show is less a podcast than a piece of cheap television, and it should be judged on those terms.

But here’s the crux, and here’s where this is going to get interesting. Forget about what Johnny Mackfield’s a podcast is or not. And you could read my substack it’s free link in the notes. I write about this every week. But Vulture gets to the point.

As cheap television, the Pete Davidson Show offers Netflix a path towards producing more content at a far lower cost. Okay, fine, but stay with me. Largely independent of the entrenched Hollywood systems that have developed over time to protect the below the line workers who traditionally work on talk shows that compete in this space, it’s hard not to view the Pete Davidson Show as some kind of trial ballunacy. If anyone notices or cares Vulture rights for what it’s worth, Netflix’s shenanigans with the original podcast labels not going completely unnoticed. According to this article, a union rep told Pucks at Matt Beloney sag Netflix continue to have discussions regarding the Pete Davidson project.

Vulture calls that a notably diplomatic way of saying the Union is working to figure out what this thing is. Whether Netflix is using the podcast designation to sidestep obligations it would otherwise have for a talk show built around a Hollywood talent who makes movies and series with Union labor. Very very interesting. We’ll keep an eye on that. Are you familiar with the musicians the Red clay Strays.

A lot of comedians are into them. They went on social media and let people know that something is coming soon, and the something has something to do with Matt Rife. There’s a teaser and we see Matt Rife sitting on a bus. Everyone’s like, what’s Matt Rife doing on the bus? In the teaser?

Fans are mixed. One wrote Matt Rife and the Red clay Stras I’m in. Someone else wrote I love the Red craz Strays but not sure what to make of Matt Rife. Why him? No one knows?

Will it be your music video that features Matt Rife? Stay tuned. Craig Ferguson is going to tour the United States of America he’ll be working with CNN celebrating the USA’s two hundred and fiftieth birthday. Boy, time goes fast. I remember Crystal clearly sitting in Battery Park, New York City with my mother on July fourth, seventeen cent not seventeen seventy six.

I’m leaving that in nineteen seventy six. I’m not that old. I’m leaving that in nineteen seventy six, me and Mom July fourth, nineteen seventy six. I had my July fourth frisbee, which sadly I lost in the eighties, lost at the Sherton Pool and I don’t know what happened to it. Wish I still had it.

But anyway, Mom and the cute kid with the frisbee, we were on the local WCBS Channel two news. I digress. That’s fifty years ago, that story John, and it wasn’t that good. I know. Craig Ferguson he’ll be hosting America on Purpose, in which Craig Ferguson unpacks the country’s chaotic triumph and controversial two hundred and fifty year journey of independence.

We’re told Craig Ferguson exploits the identity of the country he now calls home after becoming a proud citizen in two thousand and eight, digging into its freedoms, contradictions, and cultural quirks. The journey takes him from monster truck rallies to Ellis Island and beyond, combining American history with his signature wit and playfulness. To meet the moment of the nation’s two hundred and fiftieth anniversary, Craig said, any chance I get to remind my fellow Americans that we are still the best idea for a country anyone has ever had, I’m going to take it. My eagle is still bald and my banner is still spangled with stars from Fox News, comedian Steve Trevino thinks Hollywood has turned its back on him because of his conservative values, including his promotion of family, faith, and country. With all due respect to mister Travino, I think you’re wrong here, but let’s hear him out.

He was on The Like a former podcast. Steve Travino questioned why he was not offered another Netflix deal after his twenty twenty four special Steve Travigno Simple Man. Steve said, Hollywood not like us. Hollywood does not want anything to do with us, and it’s unfortunate, right, I was top five numbers wise, I beat thirty five of them. I believe that refers to thirty five other comedy specials.

All the ones I beat are getting offers. Again, I did not get another one. Travino were called in experience with Amazon Prime Video. He claimed in that he was asked to remove a moment from a project in which he thanked US military members. According to Steve, they said, can Steve not thank the troops at the end?

It’s too political? And I’m like, how is thanking the men and women who serve political? See after water? Is it because I’m conservative? Is it because I love this country?

Is it because I promote family? Is it because I promote God? Now I’ve been in the media for thirty How long is it now? Thirty four years? Professionally?

Cheez, I’m old. I’ve never ever run into anyone who said you can’t thank the troops. In fact, I was talking about this with my friend Bill at the brewery the other night during trivia and I we finished fourth. By the way, you know why, hey at trivia guys, you guys listening, you know why we did well, you guys didn’t have those Ariana grande questions. You asked a lot of old man questions.

It was like history questions in there. That’s why the old guys did. Okay, we would have finished third, but Johnny Mack said, let’s gamble on one of the answers in the fifth round there, and we got it wrong, so we didn’t win. Plastic sunglasses or whatever. I digress.

I’ve never run into the media conspiracies. I’ve never had Hey, you can’t talk about that. I’ve never seen the great conservative conspiracy. I’ve never seen the great liberal conspiracy. I’ve never run into the don’t thank the troops people.

Maybe I’ve just been fortunate. Anyway, Steve Trevino says, stand up, pay us the bills, and if Netflix doesn’t want to give us another offer, we’ll figure it out. We always do.

Speaking of the troops.

Gableglesias was just over in Japan. He did a series of shows for the US OH Army. Dot Mill tells us. During his hour long set, gab Iglesias rifted on familiar topics like family and food, but he also had humorous, slightly off color bits tailored to his host nation. Audience, whether expressing his amazement and how nice Japanese toilets are or counting his memorable experience says at airport customs and local Roman spots.

Gab Iglesias used his loud and energetic delivery to punctuate each story with his signature brand of punchlines. Sergeant Gage Casino is a self professed comedy enthusiast. He said, I’ve been watching him since I was a kid. To see him live as an honor, and I think everyone can agree he was a good time with good laughs. Sergeant Casino, he’s with the nine oh one Military Police Detachment.

I thank you for your service, both genuinely and to prove there’s no conspiracy against thanking the military for their service. Sergeant Ramar Downer, who I will also think, called the show hilarious. Sergeant Downer said, I really appreciate that they put on shows like this for us because it’s great for the troops. Sergeant Downer is assigned to the eighty eighth MP Detachment. It shows that they support the soldiers.

Was also great to hear the comics thanking us throughout the show. Gab Iglacias said, I’m here because I want to be here. I love performing for the military and look forward to coming back. Oh my voice is wearing out. At that Super Bowl preview, that long episod so from Saturday.

I did that one right before this one. And I still have to record Comedy Survivor, which is coming up at noon eastern today. We will find out who was voted off the island. I don’t know. I haven’t recorded it yet, but the Comedy Survivor elimination show will be in this very feed at noon Eastern today.

I also have to record The Weekly Comedy Thing, which is a show I host on the Live one app. The app is free, the show is free. That show is kind of like this, except I can play stand up comedian bits like in full like I can go here’s a story about Gabe Iglesias, and then I could play at Gabe Glaciers clip. You know. I can do that kind of thing over there.

So I still have to record that. It’s called The Weekly Comedy Thing. It’s on the Live one app if you want to check that out. Matt Friend has a new gig. He’ll be on the red carpet for the Academy Awards.

He’s very excited about it he’ll have a spot for talent interviews. Matt Rif’s career seems to be going okay, just like his impressions. Ron Funches was a part of the cast of this season of Traders. I’m going to spoil Traders. If you’re not caught up, you might want to bail here.

Ron Funches has been sharing some stories about Traders during his stand up shows. Okay, everybody who’s still here, you’re going to be spoiled. He explains, I approached the game as if I was a detective. I wanted to come from a data driven approach. Once I arrived, I realized I only knew one or two people, which I thought to be a detriment socially, but as far as being impartial is the best way to be.

Because I didn’t have any knowledge or love for any of the people, I’d look for things that look like inconsistencies in their work. I then thought about being more direct with people who I would try to accuse of being the trader, But after that point it became more of defending myself. Any accusations I had were based off people being like, prove to us that you’re not the trader. Who do you think it is, and I’d be like, well, I heard light footsteps, so it might be the smallest girl here me myself. I wouldn’t have considered that enough evidence.

But if you guys are going to force me to say something, I’ll say something. Ron Funch has said. The only thing I would have done differently is I wish I hadn’t cursed Eugene Merman. He’s part of that Bob’s Burger’s conspiracy. You know this one where people pretend Bob’s Burger’s is a show.

If you’re new to the show I’ll quickly explain it to you here. Let me ask you, new listener, have you ever seen Bob’s Burgers? The answer is no, right, yeah, Okay, I understand there’s artwork. I understand there’s merge. I understand that Kevin Burkhart will say after this football game, it’s an all new Bob’s Burgers.

But Kevin Burkhart and Fox and Eugene Merman and everyone else in this conspiracy knows we don’t stay on Fox. We switch over and watch Sunday night football. This is all just a gag, and they’ve been doing this for over a decade and a half. But What does exist is Eugene Merman’s new comedy album, Here Comes the Whimsy, that’s out on PGF Records. There’s also a special on Veeps.

Here Comes the Whimsy was recorded live in Summerville. Merman shares a series of mild grievances through anecdotes from fatherhood, insights from travel, dress code trauma, rental car disputes, and more. And I’m seeing a lot of good buzz on Jury Duty too. Remember Jury Duty a couple of years ago, the guy thought he was on jury duty, but it was all fake. They’ve made a new season of that, but this one is called Jury Duty Presents Company Retreat.

Three episodes will be out on March twentieth on Prime Video. Company Retreat will follow a corporate offside event at a family owned hot sauce company from the perspective of Anthony, a recently hired temporary worker. Unbeknownst to Anthony, the entire experience of staged. Every colleague around him is performing a role in each moment, whether in conference rooms during downtime, has been meticulously orchestrated. Sounds like a lot of fun.

Now, speaking of jury Duty, I’ve been invited to be on jury that’s coming up in a couple weeks. That’s not good. I have podcasts to record. Kind of stressed about that one, and it’s district court. I have to call like two weeks in a row, guys.

I got stuff to do, So let’s hope the jury duty guts are cunnd to Johnny Mack and that is your comedy news for today. Back at noon Eastern for Comedy Survivor, which I’m about to record right now, so I gotta save my voice. I’ll see you guys in a couple minutes, I guess

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hi there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. My guest today is the comedian Ismo. We’ll get to him at a second. For ten years, just for last, Vancouver has been Western Canada’s biggest comedy festival.

The festival is bigger and better than ever this year February twelfth through the twenty second and Ismo will be performing there on Sunday, February fifteenth at the Vogue Theater. It’s part of his Perseverance tour. Now, if you don’t know this guy yet, you’re going to love him. I suggest maybe hit pause now and go watch on YouTube. He did a set about the word ass.

He did this on Conan, So just search Imo Ismo Conan and it’ll come up on YouTube. It is brilliant. He does a lot of wordplay. You’re gonna love this guy. Ismo is an internationally acclaimed comedian, author, rally driver we get into that, and master of wordplay.

Globally recognized as the voice of all second language English speakers, Ismo is one over audiences in person online with his sharp takes on language, culture and life’s absurdities. In my prep, I learned he had an accident in which he heard his back. I let off with that, and that got us into some other things, and eventually here we get into a discussion of comedy in general and his comedy. I loved talking to this guy. Here’s ismo how is your back?

My back, It’s it’s almost back to normal, but it’s I still feel it, but it’s yeah, I did break it, but the end of August, so it’s yeah, I’ve been trying to exercise it now. I’m sure the bone has finished boning. No, that’s not the word boning. In Finland, we say the bone is boning when it’s like becoming more bone. But yeah, but I think the bone is fine.

It’s just that I yeah, it’s just the muscles are tight and they’re still like eggs sometimes. What happened. I jumped on a dune. Buggy atv or a motocross track and a jump went way too far and I landed from like I don’t know, thirty feet. I don’t like.

It was just like it was like, yeah, yeah, that I broke one vertebrae, A piece broke off. Is that an activity that you do or was that just a one off? Hey, let me go out and do something crazy. I started to drive rally a couple of years ago, so I’ve been doing some motorsports and I’m surprisingly good at rally driving, which is insane because I started in my forties. So but.

That was a dune buggy, so that was a different event. That was like I’ve never really driven that thing, so that was crazy. But so but yeah, I do like motorsports and I’ve always been kind of a speed freak. Where do you go rally driving in the state, so fascinated by this, This sounds awesome. I’ve rallied draven in Finland so far.

So last summer I did three competitions and I’m going to do three competitions. I’m actually going to do like the World Championship Rally too. In it says like one like the biggest rally event in Finland. It’s in August, so I’m going to do that also now. And so yeah, just yeah.

Raley driving is like it’s like on regular roads they closed them off and it’s like it’s I love it. It’s crazy, it sounds amazing. It sounds like one of those things that you know, like you alluded to, you get a couple of years on you and you start to do these more adventurous things that you’re like, I should have done this when I was twenty. Yes, I wish, I like I was. I was a big rally fan, like rally of course, like in America Canada, people don’t.

I don’t know if there’s a big rally scene in Canada, but like Americans don’t even know what a rally means other than a politician giving a speech, which is not days it’s so it’s yeah, But in Europe it’s huge, like because you close off roads and then you like and it’s I was a huge fan of rally when I was a kid and always wanted to drive it then try it, But now it took like four years to finally do it. So I’ve been faking it as a dumb American. I don’t know what it is either. So you said you’re doing the biggest ones. There was a civilian.

I assume you’re not like an elite. I apologize if you are an elite’s rally driver. So can anyone do this? How does this work? It is like levels, like I guess any sports.

So but I’m actually participating in the big. Actually world championship event. But my car is of course not gonna be the one that the top driver driving. But it’s like there’s Rally one is the best, Rally two is the second best. So I’m going to drive Rally three, which is still good, but it’s so I’m actually competing.

But it’s like, of course I’m not expecting to win, but I’m hoping I’m not last either. So I guess it’s kind of sort of not quite. I’ve ran the New York City Marathon and theoretically I could have won. Yeah, well exactly, yeah, so I’m definitely not expecting you to do. But the thing is that, like last year, I did.

It, Like I was in a few competitions, and I was so happy that I started to do this like two years ago, and I still beat some people with a similar type of car that have been doing their lives. So I was like. Really like people were like they couldn’t believe that it’s a comedian driving the car. Let’s say that, like it was. I was better than I thought or anybody thought, but of course I’m still not gonna win anything.

You are more famous over there than you are here. Are you a celebrity driver over there? Are you just on the down low and no one really knows because you mentioned that, Oh, comedians in the race, how is that playing out? It’s like, oh, we gotta beat this guy. Well yeah, I’ve heard that some of the guys who are like, well, if this comedian is gonna be and I’m gonna sell my car, and then I hope they are now selling their car.

But so but yeah, it’s like, yeah, people, most people. In Finland know me. So it’s and I’m sure they rally organizers are happy that I’m participating because I’ll bring some publicity to it. But but yeah, so I’m not hiding that I’m a comedian, but also I’m actually there to race. I’m not there to joke.

So much fun? Is there TV coverage because then as a producer type, you would be of an interesting story that we would want to package. Yeah, that was like even in the smaller rallies I did last year, there was some TV coverage a little bit in Finland. But now this is going to be the international event that’s like the biggest motorsport event in Finland every year, so that there’s gonna be a lot a lot of coverage for that. So let’s see how it goes.

It’s great. As I was diving on your resume, I saw that you opened for Ralphie May for a little bit. So when I when I was at Serious Radio, I got to know Ralphie a little bit pretty well. I just wanted to spend a minute just talk about what an awesome guy he was. I just had a look up.

I can’t believe he passed away in twenty seventeen, but just for my listeners, can you just share some Ralphie adventures. I actually opened for him only once, so and that was like years and years ago. It was so long ago. He was doing a show in Finland. I lived in Finland back then, and the organizers asked me to open, and I was like excited to do it.

And I was actually doing my set in Finnish because it was in Finland, because that was like so long ago that I didn’t even do much. English stuff yet, So I think I was. I think I was doing finish. But then we had some talks and I always remembered that he said one thing to me that he said that whatever you. Have, just put it all online.

And I didn’t listen, and I wish I did, because like I’ve been putting way more stuff later. But like, but then I didn’t even have much English stuff. That was long ago. But I I’ve only recently, like the past few years, I’ve started to put way more stuff online and that has made a huge difference. So he gave me the best advice that I didn’t listen to.

Do you find it a pain in the neck to you have to feed the beast of social media? Are you doing crowd work for crowdwork’s sake? Are you on stage going, oh, this could be a clip? Or are you just doing your thing and letting your team figure that out, because I know there’s like this whole devil of you got to just constantly put things out now? Yeah?

Yeah, And that has been a like I think for most comics it has been like so Goose comics, how often like perfection is when it comes to putting stuff out and we’re always like not that. But then I some years ago I hired a team and they are basically not even asking me. They are just putting stuff out. Every week, and it’s been hugely great because if the comedian is like deciding what to put out, it’s going to be like one clip a year. But like, do we always like, yeah, I didn’t like the way I said that one part, or I did like we think it, we overthink it.

So it’s really good that there’s a separate team of people who are just cutting all my shows and just putting them the clips and putting them out. So that has made a huge difference. And I would recommend that to all comedians just hire somebody else to do it, because I mean, I’m sure there’s some comics who are like really good at that, like editing and putting stuff out, but like most comics are not. So that was the best decision of my life to hire that like a team to do it. And I don’t really do that much crowd work.

Sometimes I do when we do post that, but I don’t really do it for that. So I like tons of old stuff that we can post, and sometimes we post new stuff too, but of course I don’t want to have too much stuff of the current stuff I’m doing live online. But there can be a few few that but so, but I was I was kind of a late late adapter of social media adopter. Adapter that’s not an adapter adopter, I don’t even know, because adapter is the one you use for electricity, but adopt. So also you can adapt to social media, but you can also adopt social media.

Okay, those are funny words. But yeah, I’ve never been like, really that has been hard for me, but I’ve studied. In the past few years, I actually started to enjoy the social media a little bit. But before that it was just something that I was just like, I knew you have to do it, but I was not like, not that adoptive. But now I’m.

Actually finally starting to do some podcasts and like to do lots of other content that we’ve been shooting some sketches and scenes and stuff like that, so so like doing like other stuf also online, and that’s been really great. So yeah, it’s funny how things change. If you go back twenty years ago, all the what I call the brick Wall comedians, they were all hating Dean Cook because he was just a social media comic. He’s just on MySpace, and Dane is talented and just happen to figure out that part of it first. It’s funny how everything’s just come around.

That’s like, that’s like I wish I would have like figured this out way sooner. Like it’s that’s the way the world was going a long time ago, and the early early adopters definitely they got they really they nailed it. And yeah, every profession, I’m sure when something new comes and things change, people resist it and yeah, so yeah, I wish I would do that or would have done it more. Now I’m doing it way more and it’s it’s working. But yeah, I’m sure like some comedians are like so purist purists that they are like, yeah, you can only do it in certain way.

But I think the only rule is to people have to laugh, don’t steal jokes and make people laugh. That’s the only only two rules. Yeah, yeah, that’s how are you finding audiences? I know. One of the topics that kept coming up last year was the helpful audience member that I’m going to set you up, mister comedian, so you can have a crowd work thing and I’m going to help you do your act.

Are you running into that or is that kind of calm down? I don’t run do that that much. Like sometimes yeah, I get sometimes like heckles, and sometimes they’re actually kind of funny, but I don’t get heckled that much. I mean analyzing it sometimes because I have an accent I don’t know if you notice that I have a kind of a strong accent. Kind of sometimes I was thinking that maybe there’s a joke in it, Like heckling a second language comedian is kind of like tripping somebody in the Special Olympics.

It’s like people whould feel like they don’t want to heckle me, but they of course sometimes do. But I sometimes see other communies getting way more heckles than I do. So as your style has developed, you do a lot of wordplay, a lot of commentary on English language. Was that something you deliberately set out to do or did that just develop over time. I’ve always like been hugely obsessed with language and wordplay, even when I was a kid, and then I was in Finland when I started to do come out in Finnish.

A big chunk of. That was wordplay too, Like it’s never been only wordplay, but a big chunk of it has been wordplay in Finnish.

And then I explained it to English, and then turned out that like I was comin…

Had, I didn’t. I was kind of assuming that I’m sure there’s a bunch of comedians who’ve already thought of all this stuff, but turns out now in many I’m the first one to figure this out, which is kind of blowing my mind sometimes that like, I can actually come up with lots of like new language observations about the language that’s not even my first language. So I’ve been excited about that. And I think it also helps that it is my second language, because then I can see the forest from the trees, or like I can, I can see the things that most native speakers wouldn’t see. I’ll recommend to my listeners if they haven’t or ready, to watch your somewhat famous Conan set, which has some wordplay there.

I won’t spoil any of it. I appreciate the ratitat style, you know. I guess i’d put you more in that coategory than the storyteller. One of the things I talk about on the show is one hundred percent of the time, if I put a comedy special on, my wife will show up thirty eight minutes into it, stand there and say is this guy funny? And I find myself explaining, well, you see what he just said he set up fourteen minutes ago.

That’s called the callback.

---

And then Dad and she just and so what she came by yesterday on the laundry run.

You were just in the middle of just boom boom boom boom boom and got the laugh and she came and went, So I’m like, all right, I like this. It’s awesome. Oh yeah, yeah, if you like yeah, that makes sense. So I do have callback sometimes, but it’s mostly like quick stuff and take one subject and just milik it till the end. And well, I’m glad that she enjoyed it.

Now, your stage persona is set. You’re in real life too, is so charismatic. You just have this whole vibe of hey, we’re having a good time and we’re all in this together. It’s great. No, thank you, thanks.

I’ve yeah, that’s that’s nice. I don’t hear that word often, but I guess that’s nice. I’m like, I like to now, I like to think myself as carriages madic it just like I don’t know, I’ve always just think of the jokes and the delivery, just kind of the rhythm and the delivery. It just comes naturally. I don’t really think of it that much, but I have got some comments sometimes that like people are really like paying attention to every every detail, and it’s because but yeah, I’m glad that, I’m glad you see it like that.

That’s yeah, it’s always like, that’s all. We’re just talking actually with somebody earlier that like that. Most comics are like really insecure about themselves and their own stuff. I think it’s only the good comics that are insecure. The shitty ones are like they think they know everything, so always questioning.

And I’m not a comic in case you can’t tell, but as I understand the art of it, you’re always looking for economy of words and trying to tighten a bit and see if you can get one more tag in there. So right, like, for a lot of these things, the work’s never finished. Yeah, exactly. And that’s why we don’t like putting stuff out because we never feel it’s completely finished. But that’s the great thing, which also media, you can put the same thing out later when it’s finished.

But that’s the thing is that it’s really hard to me to understand. It’s hard for me to understand how people make like comedy movies or plays and stuff. When you first write the whole thing, and you do the whole thing, and then you show it to people, because with comedy, we like we work it with the crowd to make it better so that you always can tweak it. And often the word economy like I know this. Sometimes I’m like take words out to make it tighter.

But often I end up that I have to add words to get people, to give people more time to think so it’s not too fast because the rhythm has to be just perfect. So often I end up saying the setup twice so everybody kind of really gets it, and then I do the punchl like I like to sometimes think. Sometimes I feel like I have to add stuff, or I have to add long palsies or but sometimes I have to just tiden it and it’s always that rhythm sense. I’m kind of I’m happy that I kind of have the sense of the when the laughter is gonna come. If you have the like exactly the right amount of time before the information hits you and then the punchline hits you.

Let me get a break in here. Have you seen my heating bill gotta make somebody at podcast? He’s isma I’m Johnny McBee right back. His most Perseverance tour takes into Just for Last Vancouver he’ll be there on Sunday the fifteenth, playing at the Vogue Theater. Are you thinking and writing in English or are you thinking in Finish and translating.

I take turns, like now I was in Finland for a month during the holidays, and then I was also be thinking and writing in Finnish. But now I’ve been here for a month and now I’m just thinking and writing in English, so it kind of it changes. But yeah, and I end up talking Finish every day, mostly on the phone call or somebody finished in here. But there was like one time in my life where I didn’t speak any Finish for like three weeks, and that was like then I think I started to dream all in English and it kind of switched. But no, that was just one time in my life.

But that has never happened since because now I’m always, of course like communicating with Finnish people, if not daily, almost daily, and then I’m never like in the fully that I kind of just one hundred percent thinking in English, but I don’t translate. Well, I’m while we’re having this conversation, I’m definitely not even thinking Finish at all, like I’m just thinking and speaking English. I think I’m thinking in English. Maybe I’m thinking in pictures. I don’t know.

Yeah, I’m I can barely get home from the airport if I had to speak Spanish. But when I do that, I think in Spanish. And as I’m doing this, so I’m in my Johnny Mac persona. The guy who holds the microphone is Johnny Mack and the real guy in real life is john and I when I’m in this mode, I tend to think as Johnny Max. So one of the questions I would have is, if you’re home and you’re thinking in Finnish, say does your bring kick in?

And go? Oh this this goes into an English language set, I’ll keep this for the finish set. Or I’m just curious about that whole process. Yeah, yeah, that is like interesting, and I’m like, I’m definitely wherever I am. Sometimes I get an idea that’s a finish joke that only it’s a word finished wordplay or some Finnish culture thing.

That I know it’s not going to translate. So then I just write that down and finish, even though I’m wherever I happen to be. But but but. Then there’s there’s lots of stuff that can be translated to both languages. But it’s kind of like, now when I’m here, I’m going to be in America or like in mostly like yeah, mostly in North America now and until like May, so I’m gonna I’m gonna just mostly just think and write in English.

But then I am doing a new tour in Finland in August September, so in the back of my head I am like like finding stuff for that too, And when I go to Finland in the summer, I’m gonna definitely like spend the day looking at all this new stuff that I’ve written in English and see which can be translated to Finnish.

---

And now, when I did a bunch of new stuff in Finland just before I left Finlan…

And then now I’ve been here, i’m here, I’ve been like trying to figure out which one of those I could translate to English. So it’s kind of so. If I run out of new ideas in either language, I can just go to the other language material and try to fun stuff there. So it is kind of great. And sometimes it surprises me that a joke that I first wrote in Finnish is actually funnier in English or vice versa, or sometimes it kind of translates in theory but not in practice.

And yeah, it’s and sometimes you just don’t have a word. It’s just like it’s just like I had this whole long bit about like in Finland about like I don’t really know what a word is. I guess a hobo would be the word in English, but like it’s just such a different word because in Finland it’s kind of not a bad it’s kind of a nice word for like a guy drinking all day in a park bend. It’s like kind of a nice word. It’s not like a bad word.

But in English there’s not a nice word for that.

---

And then that whole bit is like the energy is different.

So sometimes there’s just no words that like there’s like some great words in Finnish that like the English language just doesn’t like like everyday life, every day life, like you know, like just the basic everyday normal life. That’s like there’s a word for that, like a simple word for that in Finnish, and it’s a great word, but there’s no every day life. That’s three words that all have other but in Finland, we have this one word that like summarizes all that and it’s a great word, and you guys need that. There’s so many other words that like Finnish has but English doesn’t.

---

And then there’s some words the other way around that Finnish doesn’t have, s…

I know when you’re over here, you don’t do politics. I’ve listened to other interviews with you where that’s not really your thing. Is there anything to be mined in the other direction? Performing in Finland As somebody who’s been in the United States at a time where things have been a little more colorful than they have traditionally. Been, there’s lots of people always in Finland like like, oh, like you’re probably talking all about this stuff, and I’m like, no, there’s enough comedians doing the political stuff.

There’s saw much of them and like online and everywhere. So I just decided years ago that I’m not going to touch it. But actually recently I have been trying to write a joke about just trying to understand the American politics, and I think that’s going to be a good joke. So it’s not like a political joke, but it’s like just trying to understand because and the whole premise is kind of like there’s two parties, like it makes like in Finland we have eight parties and I still don’t like any of them. How could I pick from two?

Like it’s like it?

---

And then there’s the whole thing about all these subjects.

So I was thinking that I want to because I do think of that stuff sometimes, but I don’t want to be a political comic. But I could write a bit about trying to understand politics, and I think that would be a good angle for it. That would be kind of like a unique And because I don’t want to, I’m always trying to go for something that’s like hopefully unique or something like an inside. It’s not like I’m just like trying to like preach or preach to the choir or whatever. Sure, So the reason we’re speaking today is you were performing at the Just for Last Vancouver Comedy Festival.

I was checking out the Vogue Theater where you’re going to be playing. It looks like a real nice old style movie theater that they converted into doing live shows. Do you like that kind of room. Or to an old movies. I don’t know if I’ve done that before.

I don’t think I’ve done that before. Yeah, yeah, I’ve done some that have been like old movie theaters and. Yeah yeah, it’s one of those you know, two levels balcony. And yeah that I normally like, at least the similar ones I’ve always loved, Like it’s you can hear a pin drop, Like it’s like when it’s it’s not like a there’s a bar in the back and there’s noise, it’s like, really everybody’s focused, and I love that. Does it make you change up what you might do if you were in a smaller club you have to work harder to play the back of the room.

Not really. I I the big bigger venues when they are shaped and like formed good, they are even better. Like sometimes a bar type of comedy club to have a show can be like that’s what comedians I used to and that’s what we like do all the time. So then theater might feel like overwhelming. But I’ve kind of I think I just realized years ago that like it’s just it’s just just play like you normally do, and just if you don’t see the back road, then perform to the front.

Row just sometimes look into the darkness because you know people are there. But yeah, I actually I do like I think a size like that is like really. Perfect, perfect for comedy. That’s like a thousand seeds. So I just did my biggest show ever was eight eight, seven hundred sixty five people in Finland, which is actually the exact the amount of hours in one year.

That was crazy the amount of tickets I saw. That was the record of comedy like standby comedy tickets in Finland ever, and it was exactly the amount of hours in a year. That’s like a really weird go is this? But anyway, that was like really awesome, Like I haven’t done like a long set to a big crowd like that before, and. That was in Finland.

I do some songs too, and those songs were like I was I felt I was actually singing. Well, that was so awesome. Yeah, I saw your dambling in the music. Do you play an instrument? Are you the singer or how is that manifesting?

I play guitar. I’m like I wanted to be a musician before comedian.

---

And then like in Finland, I’ve always done like these parody songs and I ofte…

Done those in English yet. I don’t know. I don’t know when I’m gonna do that. I don’t trouble with the guitar in outside of Finland, so I just I haven’t done. It yet in English.

But let’s see. I’m working on some songs here, but I don’t know yet. It’s so interesting. There’s an old saying that the comedians want to be actors, the actors want to be singers, and the singers want to be comedians, and you tend to see a lot of that. I guess I can see the relatively straightforward from performing into a microphone is similar to performing into a microphone in front of a crowd, So I guess that makes sense to it.

Yeah, there’s definitely like I’m sure like many comedians, well many comedians want to be musicians too, and also actors for sure, and then lots of actors and musicians want to be comedians. So yeah, it’s a good like. And because we are actually making this great music producer friend, and we’re doing some like songs, like also working on some like actual songs. I’m going to do a band that’s like not even called ism or anything. It’s just like a separate thing.

And it’s some of the songs are funny, but some are not. But so I’ve always kind of wanted to do music, and I’m doing it now a little bit more. And there was this big insight we were talking about, like musicians have to be a little naive and cheesy because they have to be like excited about like a song. But comedians are the opposite. We are like cynical and sarcastic and we’re like yeah again of like we’re just making fun of things, not taking anything seriously.

But musicians have to be like so emotional about a song. And it’s really hard to go on that. So and I think comedians would benefit to try to like emulate musicians, and musicians would benefit to emulate comedians a bit, like because you have to be like more naive as a musician, and in comedy comedy it’s like kind of the opposite. And the crazy thing, as you know, is if you were a musician, you could just close your show with the ass bit for the next forty years instead of oh yeah, we know that one already. What do you what else you got, mister funny.

Man, Yeah, yeah, I haven’t told the ass bit in years because like everybody who comes to my show has definitely seen it. So it’s like, yeah, is that true with a festival crowd, like so, I you know, I get if you’re touring, we’re going to see you. But I find sometimes at festivals it’s who’s playing on the night we feel like going out. Yeah that’s like yeah, yeah, so that’s definitely I’m sure whatever show I do, there could be a few people who haven’t heard it.

---

And then if it’s like a if I’m just doing a club spot or a festival spot or s…

But it’s still like that Jo had a good run. So I just don’t even remember how to tell you anymore. But that’s the thing also with with I guess some mutuners to get sick off their heat. So, but comedians definitely like telling the same joke over. I know there’s some comedians who have told the same joke for thirty years.

I don’t get how they get excited about that, because like, I think that the greatest comedy as they have a new set almost if not every year, every other years, like it’s just like we want to. I still believe that the best jokes I’ve done I haven’t done yet, Like I haven’t written my best jokes yet, so I’m always like aiming for something new. So you’ve been very generous with your time. I want to be respectful to you and the people who put this together. SA ask you one more and then I’ll let you go.

But this has been great. What’s the long term dream? You know? Back in the day, it may have been, Oh, I want to host a talk show at eleven thirty? Do you want an NBC sitcom?

Do you want to be George Carlin? Or where do you want this whole career to take you? If I have to choose between Carlyn and sitcom, I’ll definitely do Carlin. But now it’s yeah, the comedy go yeah. I guess most comedians they wanted to have a talk show or a sitcom or and then what’s the other option?

Well, specials of course and stuff. But now it’s be more like podcasts and online presence and all that stuff, And it’s changing and I’m kind of trying to find some new things also, like what like I’m kind of I haven’t really locked a goal because the world is changing so fast that I think the biggest thing might for me might be some art form that hasn’t been invented yet. So I’m really trying to be open. I’m not gonna lock anything down. So now I’m actually the most excited.

I’m like experimenting on stuff. Like we for example, when we started to shoot these sketchies, we don’t want to see them as ketches. We want to see them as movie scenes and make them look like a movie scene and then eventually they will turn into a movie maybe or some of them. And like just and even even like the short form is just so powerful now that you don’t even have to have a movie, Like you can do just movie scenes without a whole movie, and you can do you can I started to do a fake podcast first, like a podcast clips that is the real podcast is no, but that’s just clips.

---

And now we’re actually starting to do a real podcast.

But we were like practicing with just clips and stuff. So just experimenting on lots of different stuff. So I’m not really like, I don’t I’ve never really had a solid goal. I’ve I was going to be a physics teacher. I didn’t even want that, but like I just I ended up being a comedian, and then I ended up moving to America.

I didn’t plan to move here, Like it’s things just happened. So I’m just trying to be as open as possible for new things and just do whatever is the thing that really calls me at the moment. And the great thing is that now I have this great guy with videos, this Finnish guy who is also a music producer, but he’s the best video guy ever. And whenever we have an idea, we just shoot it right away. And that’s kind of a that’s kind of a new new We’re just like, yeah, we’ve been doing lots of new stuff, and we’ve been doing this whole week.

We’re gonna just shoot like new content that we’ve never done before. And so it’s just like and like I kind of decided a while ago that I never want to pitch again. I don’t want to go to a TV network and try to pitch a show. I just want to do it and then do a little bit of it and see if it takes off or not, and then do the next one. Like it’s just there’s no read to pitch anymore because you can just put everything out there anyway.

And I think that’s how Tom Segura sold his Bad THOUGHTSCT show. You know, he had enough in with Netflix that they gave him some rope, but I think he just started filming these on his own as proof of concept. Oh yeah, yeah, I’m sure that. Yeah, because that’s like, really that’s something that the only thing good about if somebody buys a show, you actually have to do it. But then because then if you just it’s if it’s up to me, I might not end up doing it.

But now at least I have a team big enough that we are actually going to make it happen. So it’s that’s exciting. There’s like because we had this thing about like whenever we come up with something, we’ll do it right away, and then just two days ago in actually let’s first do it and then come up with it so we can even just so just do whatever and do it right away. I’ll let you go. I hope we can do this again sometime in the future.

You were fantastic. Thank you for ch well, thanks for having medal. This is great, boy, wasn’t he great? I asked for fifteen minutes and I hit thirty five minutes raw. We talked a little before and after.

Boy, he was super awesome. He’s one of my favorites. There’s a recent Netflix special up two from the eight hundred Pound Gorilla. I watched that one recently. Highly recommend that as well.

He’s ISMAO. I’m Johnny Mack. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News and daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians, the comedy industry, a freeze which helps the elder the room. Today is the super Bowl preview episode. One topic that seems to come up every year is, hey, they ought to let a comedian do super Bowl halftime. Now I don’t think that will ever happen, but let’s say it did.

Who should play super Bowl halftime? Now, my vote, which I think will be awesome, will never ever happen because he’s not quote unquote cool enough. Is weird Al. But I do think if they named weird Al and everybody went in on it, and there would definitely be ways to work in non comedic musicians to a weird Al halftime. But can you imagine how epic that would be?

And it would just be fun and weird Al would be great to be put in front of the press and there are no weird Al scandals and nothing horrible is gonna happen, and everyone could just have a good time and he could play eat It and white Nerdy and we could have a good time. But that’s not going to happen. Another name that comes up, and this may surprise you that I don’t think it’s crazy, would be Adam Sandler. People really like Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler has no known enemies except possibly me, and even I like Adam Sandler.

I just don’t think his comedy is funny, but people like those dumb songs. He could come out and do some opera man or make up a super Bowl song and do that Farley song. And I’m sure Sandler could do some sort of musical thing at halftime that people would enjoy. Another name that I think is interesting Dave Chappelle. Now that would be edgier.

Also, these things tend to be pre recorded, so I don’t think you could have Dave Chappelle pantomiming previously recorded stand ups. So you would have Chappelle with a live mic in the middle of a super Bowl. Who knows what would happen. But Chappelle is also friendly with several cool musicians, so I think there’s a way to somehow do a Dave Chappelle halftime that would certainly get talked about. And another name I saw this week that I don’t think is exciting, but maybe America would get behind Nate for Forghetsie halftime, but his particular energy.

I don’t know if that works for super Bowl halftime. That might just be weirdly awkward and set us back fifty years ever having a comedian at halftime again. If Bad Bunny is not your thing, get over yourself, but you can change the channel turning point. USA is going to have an alternative to the super Bowl halftime. It’s called the All American Halftime Show.

On The Daily Show, Michael Costa joked that only the radical wol communists who hate America are excited to watch a performance by the most popular musician in America, Bad Bunny. Stephen Colbert said, according to the press release, the show is called the All American Halftime Show and a font that is called T shirt on a quite angry dad at Disney World. Colbert had some fun with the names of the musicians. Steven said, as you may have noticed from the poster, Kid Rock is not rocking this one alone. He’ll be joined by country singers Brentley Gilbert, Gabby Barrett, and Lee Brice powerhouse lineup.

He’d tagged that with also appearing our a Gary Lee Grant Ghibli, Brantlett, Daily, Barrett Tandley, Brakeboard, Billy Giddy, and Baby. Bilbo Costa said, man, that’s a real who’s who of who. Golbert Russel joked where you could watch the alternative halftime show. He said it would be on TBNDW Plus Charge and Rumble, which are real platforms. He also said Crunch, Cramble, Hunkle, Krompus and Paramount plus.

I Spot did some research of the fifteen Super Bowl ad previews that they researched. Twelve triggered quote funny reactions from viewers. Spoilers for the commercials coming up right, So the rest of this episode, I’m gonna spoil the commercials. So if you’re like John, you ruined the super Bowl for me? Okay, you should punch out and I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.

Everybody else who’s still here spoiler. The highest funny score went to the commercial four Instacart that features Ben Stiller. They have a musical performance about choosing the perfect banana mac packer. Andy Samberg will be meal Diamond in a Hellman’s commercial. We’ll talk about that.

Some more fanatics who had a terror terrible week on the Internet, people notice that fanatic sports jerseys aren’t the best quality. A lot of complaining, especially on Twitter. This week they have an ad with a candle jinner mocking the Kardashian curse, the Internet conspiracy, the dating members of the family, ruins an athletes game. Novardes has an ad with NFL players telling viewers to relax your tight end and get a blood test for prostate cancer. I see what you did there.

Marcelo Hernandez, he does one thing, and he does one thing really well. We’ll see if he could do another thing. Well. He’ll be in an ad for Wells Fargo. Their new campaign is celebrating every win.

We’re told that showcases how the banking app helps customers achieve personal finance. Blah blah blah blah blah. We are told Marcelo Hernandez brings humor and authenticity as he pays tribute to everyday financial wins like growing savings or sticking to a budget. Marcello shows up complete with confetti, music and dancing. His comedic presence reinforces the message the success looks different for everyone.

Another macpacker, Keag and Michael Key. He’ll be with Dyana McBride In an ad Keagan Michael Key told USA Today someone said a long time ago, generality is the enemy of all art, and that specifically is what makes art good. The challenges how to do something specific that is universal. At the same time, I feel like he just said a lot of words that I love. Key, He continued, it sounds like they’re diametrically opposed, these two concepts, but that’s very often what people out an ad agency have to do.

How do you reach the most amount of people with the most interesting, most salient material possible. I embrace that challenge. In the ad, he and Danny McBride are insurance agents, hoping to reassure Haley Stanfield that their insurance agency is on the level. In the commercial, they launch into a rendition of John bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer. Key says, it’s working multi generationally because you’re talking about anathem.

Everybody knows it’s a perfect song, because it’s one of the few songs where everybody in our society knows the song. Keag and Michael Key calls Jake from State Form one of the most iconic figures in the ad space. I guess that’s true. But I don’t know, so was Jared, and we don’t want to go there. Don’t go there, John, Okay, move along, Okay, I’ll keep going, he said.

I’m excited. I’m nervous, but I have to tell you I feel very confident about this piece of content. Matt Kacker Andy Samberg teamed up with Helman’s Samberg breaks apart Sweet Caroline to build a mythology of Meal Diamond. Meal Diamond is a man born in a deli who communicates almost entirely through sandwiches. Samberg said he build out the character.

He said, we were weird aling ed, as they say, it takes a real skill to do it in a way that it’s actually funny. For me on this one, it was finding a way to make it a different character who had his own life backstory. The joke started with just the name Meal Diamond, Samberg turned it into a fully fledged person. He explains, we’re essentially dealing with someone who was born in a deli and has never left it and is therefore using the joy and love of sandwiches to reach out to connect with people. It paints a nice picture of this character.

The Kiva Schaeffer helped out on it, Samberg says, the process we usually have is to start with the premise, then you start recording. You see if it’s making you laugh. If not, you bail and you try something different. Some line stuck immediately. Sandberg said, I love the line I’ll squirt you while I’m walking by.

That made me laugh the most. I’m intrigued. Now let me see if this is online already as I record on Friday. Oh, I think I found it. I was born in this Delai.

My best friend was that boloney. That is until live bad you touching Ham, touching Gee, touching. You sandwich time many so cool. This is how I make friends. I’m get mad.

I live in the wall sometimes wonder my favorites. I’ve never been outside. These are my only clothes. So good? Can you marry me?

The carts is broken and I can leave? Thank you? Yes? Oh my goodness, that is so epic. I was sitting here capturing the audio with a big smile on my face.

I almost wanted to like talk as I recorded it. I love that so much. That is so catchy. We may have to play that a second time at the end. Wow, so much fun, Sandberg said, I hope they just smile or laugh.

You got it, buddy, That’s pretty much my goal with almost everything I work on, says Andy. Even just a giggler smirk, I’d settle. You got a big smile out of me, and I’m a comedy snob. Mikey Day as a spot making fun of is It Cake. In the ad, we imagine a world where people are wearing a new crim de Pistachio cash Weir body missed and they are mistaken for cake makeup and beauty brand e l F the Stars Alissa McCarthy.

She learns how to roll her rs in order to prepare for the world’s biggest Reggaetons show that won by Bad Bunny. The halftime show, McCarthy realizes she doesn’t speak Spanish, she crashes her car. She wakes up in a telenovela titled Melissa and bow and Yang is making one of his first major appearances since leaving Saturday Night Live. In this ad, we see bow and Yang settling into his new life. He’s lounging on a tropical beach.

He’s planning a party and snacking on salty crackers. He speaks to a friend through a shell phone and promises not to call the friend perscutto.

Also in the ad, Scarlett Johansson and John Hamm boy no offense to Bowen, Who…

But like, personally, if I were at a commercial with Scarlet Johansson and John Hamm, I would look like an unbelievable hideous troll. Like I have a photo of me and Bruce Campbell. You know Bruce Campbell, the actor. He’s a handsome mad and I’m in this photo with him, and I’m like, ill, yuck, who’s the ugly guy with Bruce Campbell? So I would not want to be in a commercial with John Hamm and Scarlet Johnson.

Anyway. In the ad there’s John Hamm and he says another day, another Ritz party. Why then they invite us? Owen says, well, we’re salty and we hate parties and mingling and yapping. John ham says they do have Ritz crackers though, let’s go for five minutes.

IBB Online writes comic actor Tim Robinson as many things quirky, yes, daft, also yes, but evil that’s perhaps a step too far. In an ad for Rippling, Tim Robinson appears to have fumbled his way into the leadership of a particularly villainous organization. In the spot, Tim’s vengeful Simpleton is attempting to airdrop a monster called baby Breck into the city via helicopter. Unfortunately, the mayhem cannot commence because Baby Breck is a new employee and hasn’t been onboarded. Oh yeah, that is corporate hell, I’ve been there.

Oh there’s more. This is one hell of a Super Bowl preview. You know, I’m the one that put it together, and I had no idea it was going to be this long. We’re not even at the halfway mark yet. Brian Baumgarner, you know him, Kevin from the office, that guy.

Yeah, he’s throwing the world’s largest tailgate tomorrow. He’ll be at the Fort Mason Pavilion. From there you can see the Golden Gate Bridge from ten am to twelve thirty pm local time, San Francisco time on Sunday. He thinks there will be potentially one thousand lookalikes. The pitch is to organize a physical manifestation of the pregame commercial that has resulted in a tailgate party in San Francisco.

Says Brian, Let’s bring all the Ryans together and see what it looks like to multiply myself one, hundreds or thousands of time over. Brian himself will arrive with a crew of ten Brian clones, but the public is encouraged to attend dress like Brian, meaning Kevin from the office. But I guess they can’t say it. Some people were able to pre order bald caps, probably too late for you by the time you’re listening to this. The lookalike voted most bombgartner like will get two tickets to see the Super Bowl with Brian.

He notes that it’s to embody him. You don’t necessarily have to look like him, but I know there’ll be a lot of bald caps. They’re offering free shavings if you can’t make it. There’s even a virtual version of this at brian’shair dot com. The event will be live streamed also part of Super Bowl Weekend.

Tonight, Dave Chappelle has two shows. He’s got the Big Fancy Show. That one’s sold out at the Chase Center, but Dave also announced an intimate late night show at the Chapel in San Francisco. I bet that’s gonna be even harder to get into. So we’ll see what Dave has to say Chiefs Wire caught up with Rob Wriggle.

Rob is a big Chiefs fan. I guess they had this all lined up and then it was like, oh, yeah, Chiefs suck this year. All right, Rob, what are you eating? He said? Chips and guak.

No brainer on that because it works for everybody. All the ladies like quak, the kids like quak. Grandma likes squawk. I just the other day my wife was like, you want chips, and I go, there’s no salsa. She says, we have guawk.

I go, I hate walk. So I’m sorry, Rob Wriggle, I hate walk. I’m a salsa guy. You know Deacon Mike that I talk about. So thirty years ago, when we worked at a radio station together, we used to sometimes go get nachos for lunch.

Yeah, I when we were in our twenties. That was lunch. What do you think of fat? I’ll tell you why I’m fat because I produced the morning show for a while and we used to have this fourth meal. Fourth meal was a cheeseburger and fries at seven thirty in the morning.

You don’t understand get up for work every day at three thirty in the morning and go do nineteen nineties era Times Square at four something in the morning for a radio show that starts at five am. When your friend Bobby looks at you and goes cheeseburger at seven thirty in the morning, you go, yeah, but here’s the cash. That’s not breakfast because then the rest of the morning crew around eight thirty, he goes, hey, we’re getting bagels. So then you have like a bagel with butter an hour after your cheeseburger. That’s how you get fat.

That and sending deacon Mike. He wasn’t a deacon yet. It was just Mike to go get the nachos. Now, everybody else would come back with, you know, nachos and cheese and salsa. He comes back with Guawk.

One day. We were like, what, we hate quak, but Rober Egel disagrees and I digress. Rob says, everybody loves squawk. So that’s when everybody likes chips and quak. Can’t go wrong there.

Now, you know, I’m a KC man, so I gotta throw some barbecue in there too. Right now we’re talking no one, do you know. Coincidentally, Rob Wriggle has teamed up with avocados from Mexico. They have an interactive experience that allows consumers to access up to date predictions through guac Guru Wriggle. Funny how that worked out.

So the Avocado people and Rob Wriggle are making three predictions for the Big Game. If all three predictions come true, one fan can earn sixty thousand dollars plus free avocados for an entire year, which for me would be none, no, thank you. Rob Riggle’s predictions are a team scores exactly twenty points and a player shows off an eating gesture as a celebration, and announcers use the word guacamole during the broadcast. What happens if we go er for three? Do we win anything?

Riggle had some more Super Bowl tips other than the chips and guac. You gotta have some charcoutery, which is a word I don’t think existed till like five years ago. Everyone says I’m nuts. I think at some point I jumped universes and the universe I’m from. There was no such word as shirt couterie.

Suddenly there is and it’s everywhere now. But like, but prior to the pandemic, that word didn’t exist. But he wants you to have some of that. Maybe some cheese and vegetables, some honey to dip in size are critical Cole’s law. You gotta have a potato dish.

No, you don’t. You don’t have to know this. You know what I’m doing here. I’ll tell you what I’m doing, and this is do this. Perdue makes quote unquote air fryer wings.

And I know it’s all in the marketing, but you get those, you throw those in the air fryer, and then you get Frank’s hot sauce and you throw that on top. Done, You’ve got delicious buffalo wings. That’s all you need to do. My wife did get the salsa. I got chips and sausa, So I’ll do wings kind of early.

Then I’ll munch on the chips and salsa, have two beers and that’s it. Now, I don’t have a super Bowl party. I used to do the Super Bowl parties. But here’s the thing. I like football.

I want to watch the game. I don’t need Deacon Mike talking to me about nonsense. So I don’t need to hang out with Deacon mic during this game. I like to just hang out by myself. Are you an only child?

John, I am? I digress again. Rob Wriggles says, you gotta have a coslaw, No you don’t. You gotta have a potato didditional fries. You gotta have some mac and cheese, No you don’t.

Some means maybe maybe you gotta have a big screen. Of course, I’ll be in front of the seventy in shumblebeg flex and you gotta have a lot of places to sit. And that’s it. Once you got that, you’ve totally won. And we do have to do some politics.

An interview with the President of the United States will air during the pregame. Jimmy Kimmel had some thoughts about it. I have cut down Jimmy for pacing. I have not edited the portions with President Trump speaking. But here’s Jimmy Kimmel’s thoughts about tomorrow’s interview with the President of the United States.

President Trump sat for an interview with NBC News that will air in its entirety during the Super Bowl pregame show. And I don’t know if he. Decided to go all out because of the big Super Bowl audience, but this one was a bacon double dementia. Burger with cheese. This is even for him.

This one was nuts. I mentioned last night that seven hundred ICE agents are being withdrawn from Minneapolis. Well, they just. Added some new tour dates that might be coming to a city near you. Which cities are you headed to next?

Uh? We have five cities that were looking at very strongly. But we want to be invited. They want to be invited. I want to be invited.

Isn’t that the plot of the movie Sinners? You have to invite the monsters in. After the shooting of Renate Good, you said Ice made some mistakes. What were the mistakes? Well, look, I’m not happy with the two incidents.

It’s not you know, it’s both of them. Got one or the other. Uh. He was not an angel and she was not an angel.

---

And now they.

They literally are angels. Thanks you? What is what he was? The age he was the first of all, you don’t know anything about those people. How dare you weigh in on what they were what they weren’t?

Keep your stupid thoughts in your diaper where they belong? On this subject, I said, while we’re identifying angels, Jeffrey Epstein was your best friend, So maybe leave angels out of the conversation.

---

And then because that wasn’t already disgusting enough, he made it worse.

You mentioned Renee Good and not out and Alex Pretty’s not being angels. Do you think any of that justified what happened to them? Though? No, it should have not happened. It was a very sad to me.

It was a very sad incident. Two incidents, and you know they mentioned the one, now they don’t mention the other. Well, I think they were both said, and you know who feels worse better than anybody? The people of ice, right right. A lot of people would think it would be the parents, or the spouses or the children of the victims.

And that is your comedy news for today. Let’s once again it was so much fun. Let’s let Andy Samberg take us out and enjoy the game tomorrow on this is very program Comedian Ismo, he’s fantastic. I got at Super Bowl Sunday, but find some time maybe on Monday to listen to the interview with Ismo, because it’s really really good and he’s a lot of fun. All right, Neil Diamond, take us home.

I was born in the Stella. My best friend was that bology that is until li mad you Ham touching Ham, touching cheese, touching you. Lease sandwich time A man makes it tastes so good. This is how I make friends.

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hi, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, A daily briefing on stand up comedy comedians in the comedy industry. A sentence which the algorithm really likes. Because we don’t say it, the numbers go back down. If you missed yesterday’s episode, or if you balled and you’re like, I don’t care about Kermit the frog with this episode sucks.

The last story in yesterday’s episode is so much fun. Make sure you go back and at least listen to that one. Today will be a little more serious in a second, as we get into Andrew Schultz. But let’s start with this story. You may have seen it.

This hit the mainstream press. From the SmartLess podcast, Will Arnett revealed that a quote very famous comedian that Arnett describes as an fing rank a hole was kicked off SmartLess. Arnette said, we cut him off after ten minutes and said thanks so much and ditched him. He joked, you’ll be blown away by who it is because you’ll be like, how did you get Bill Cosby? It’s not Bill Cosby.

People are speculating on who it is and the timing of it. The internet is speculating that the answer would be Chevy Chase, that Chevy would have been recently promoting his documentary, and Chevy does have a reputation. Again, I don’t know Ornette didn’t say, but the internet seems to think Chevy Chase. That’s not a bad guess. Andrew Schultz seems to have some evolving opinions on the President of the United States.

Got a few articles discussing mister Schultz evolving opinions on the President of the United States. But let’s hear from Andrew Schultz himself. He was a guest on Charlemagne’s podcast. There is some salty language in this clip. Not not too bad, but some salty words that I normally don’t use on the podcast, but in this case, I’m gonna let them go.

If you don’t like salty language, you’ve been warned, but I’m pretty confident you can handle it. Here’s Andrew Schultz talking to Charlemagne. Look, I know I had Trump on the podcast, you know, and I’m away explaining that, but let me let me just clarify, because I think it is important to say, like, I know how I had him on the podcast, and like, so I when I’m talking out about this. I’m not doing it to like, you know, get people to be like, oh, you’s a good guy or whatever like that, or trying to get anybody on my side. I understand that this is a horrific event that happened.

I objectively want to talk about it. I’m not trying to like win anybody over in this. You understand, you know, it just me right and wrong right, wrong. And there’s a difference between like respecting and honoring the Constitution, the backbone of our country, and then completely shredding it. And this is completely shredding it.

And now they’re realizing that people have noticed it, and now they’re. Trying to backtrack it. But by the way, he’s been wiping his ass with the constitution. Sure, and I’ve been on a record a million times saying, like whenever when he said we should terminate the Constitution to overthrow the results of an election, she liked, that got to be disqualifying if you run O for president. So here’s a for example.

So it’s like, I know that there are people sounding the alarms about this. When I saw these last few weeks in minnesot I didn’t think this was possible. Happen in United States in America. I’m being one hundred percent here to white people, no, to anybody, but you’ve seen it happen to black people. Yes, yes, to white people no, no, no, it is no.

I don’t I mean, I didn’t know that this was possible to happen in the United States of America when I’m specifically talking about with this situation here and like not only this one, but also what we’ve seen ICE doing, like entering homes without warrants, like arresting people. It is unconstitutional. And they’ve done this weird thing where like they have like a federally administrative warrant, which is some bullshit. It doesn’t even allow you to actually have access into a home. Yeah, they’re trying to find ways around the system.

And what that says to me, when you’re willing to shred the constitution to preserve your it’s not only your power, but your ideas of what should happen is incredibly Unamerican. The Daily cos rights mega broadcaster Andrew Schultz seems to have reached an epiphany. He’s realized that Trump is a liar, that ICE are a pack of unconstitutional goons who have tried to break into people’s homes and viciously shoot down American citizens in the streets. Well, they execute their First and Second Amendment rights. Shockingly, he doesn’t like it.

The Daily Cos rights this conversion presents us with several questions. How do weeds Democrats react to this? Option one? Do we openly embrace it and welcome to the land of the sane and rational? The coz gets into some previous examples of things mister Trump has said, and they asked the question why didn’t Andrew and other magas realize that he meant that stuff back then?

Option number two? Do we continue to flog Andrew Schultz for his previous Trump support? Option three? Do we demand that Andrew Schultz grovel, genuflect and apologize for his past transgressions? The Cos writes they were willing to sell out their fellow Americans to gain a larger piece of the pie for themselves.

Do we need them to explain that themselves and admit they were wrong? Because if they don’t, won’t they likely to follow the same circus trick again? Option four? Do we ignore Andrew Schultz? The COZ writes, does it even matter what we think of him?

Does he really need a warm embrace and a wet kiss from the already existing anti Trump crowd. If he’s insincere, he’ll soon jump on the next bandwagon. There’s nothing we can do to stop him. If he means what he’s saying, he’s going to still feel that way whether we embrace him or not. He’s a grown man.

He can make up his own mind. And it’s nice that he finally broke in our direction, But we weren’t the ones who finally convinced him to do that. And option five is do we use Andrew Schultz writes the codes their premise? On the other hand, could Schultz as an influencer be a potential gateway to leading other magas out of the wilderness, regardless of how we feel and react to him. Could he be a pied piper directing many others away from the evils of mega madness?

Should we encourage this because many more megas are more likely listen to him questioning and leaving the cult rather than listen to us. I know this is heavy. I’ll remind you I did ten minutes on Kermit the Frog yesterday. Andrew Schultz, on his own podcast, was discussing the Epstein list. Schultz said, if you bring up another fing pedophile about deporting and you’re not releasing the Epstein list, just shut the f up, all of you.

Yeah, I don’t want to hear anything else about Oh hey, we got to deport the pedophiles. They’re right here, there’s a list of them, and you’re not exposing it. Corract writes we shouldn’t punish Andrew Schultz for turning on Trump, but that doesn’t mean he gets a pass for his part in Trump’s resurgence. Their premise, schultz way too recent epiphany naturally has the Internet ragging on him and reminding him of his throated an endorsement of Trump during the last general election. But does the anti Trump fashion of the comedy community really want one of the most successful and influential podcasters in the country running back to the other side.

Kathy Griffin called out Joe Rogan for platforming right wing people and pushing conspiracy theories. I’ll remind you I did ten minutes on Kermit the Frog yesterday. Okay, just go back here. Listen. Kathy was in Your Dreams with Owen Feel Apparently that’s a podcast and Kathy Griffin recounted an interaction with a critic on the street.

The critic on the street tried to convince me of all Joe’s conspiracy theories and all of his weird supplements and his popping veins. I knew Joe back in the day when he had hair and was a comic, and I liked him and he was nice, and now he’s turned into this really powerful very much, but he doesn’t say it right wing guy who platforms right wing people, and bros really believe him. The straight bros. They’re not getting vaccinated because of doctor Joe Rogan. All right, John, make this fun, okay, switching gears completely.

Heidi Gardner explained she was fired from Saturday Night Live. She was on Mike Birbigley’s podcast. Birbiggley was riffing with Heidi Gardner and said the thing would crush me is if I worked on something and then someone was like, you can’t do it. Gardner agreed that getting sketches cut was hard and said I ended up getting cut. I feel like more than anyone in the world when I was doing it.

After a while, you get to a point where you’re like, well, I’m comfortable here I’m good, I’m comfortable, like I get just have fun. But no matter what, you’re always stressed. It’s high stakes and you care so much. It was always like the worst thing that could happen, or the worst thing that could happen was not getting to do your thing that week, And it was just there were so many worst things that could happen. At least one of the worst things would always happen.

Now people are looking at Heidi’s quote where she said, quote, I mean comma, I ended up getting cut. Now, as I read that, I’m taking that to mean her sketches were cut. However, The New York Post had reported that Gardner’s contract was terminated. Dana Carvey had previously said that he’d heard Gardner was not asked to return for The New York Post had quoted an anonymous insider who said Heidi’s contract was not renewed. Quote, it’s time for a new cast, which reminds me the internet has decided, and I agree.

Ashley Padia is the new star Saturday Night Live and she’s not even main cast yet, but she will be. She’s the breakout star. Snl UK has a premiere date this from Late Night Er SNL UK will premiere Saturday, March twenty, first airing on Sky streaming on Now you’ll find me in international waters if you know what I mean. I want to check this out. Season one is just six episodes.

The cast has been revealed. I don’t recognize any of these names, but I’m sure they’re wonderful. SNL UK lead producer James Longman, who used to work for Cordon and said the UK is absolutely packed with incredible comedy talent right now. In this cast represents the freshest voices we have. They’re bold, exciting and of course incredibly funny.

Same format as SNL USA live study, audience opening monologue, sketches, live music, and some version of weekend Update this weekend on this very program. Tomorrow super Bowl preview a lot of comedians doing funny commercials. At least I hope they’re funny. We’ll talk about the tomorrow and then Sunday I have an interview with comedian Ismo. He’ll be at the Vancouver just for a Laughs Comedy festival.

He’s really cool. Talk to him for about half an hour. I SMO. If you’ve got a minute, google Ismo Conan. He’s got a bit about the word ass, which is brilliant.

And then he’s got a full Netflix special up from eight hundred Pound Gerilla that I watched that last Sunday, very very funny. He’s Ismo, and I think you’ll come out of Sunday show going Hey, I like that guy. It is Friday. It is time to hit the comedy stock market. Take it away, Burt Reynolds comedy stock market.

We will keep it simple this week. Two recommendations for you. We’re gonna buy some Dave Chappelle. I feel like Dave Chappelle. He’s back, not just from the Rion Comedy Festival, No, he’s totally back.

He’s going to do that show in Minnesota. He’s paling around with John Stewart. These are times when we need someone who is good with the words. And I think the time is right for Dave Chappelle to come out of hiding. Let’s buy some Dave Chappelle stock before he hits Minnesota.

And the other person we’re gonna buy stock in is Ismo. I just told you why. He’s great. So Dave Chappelle and Ismo are our comedy stock market picks for this week. We’re not gonna sell anybody, will keep it positive from page six.

Industry insiders say they keep seeing Adam Sandler on the Fox Lot. That’s where they film the mask singer. Is Adam Sandler going on the mask singer? They don’t think so. It is believed that Adam Sandler has moved his Happy Medison offices from the Pacific Palisades to the Fox Lot.

Sandlor’s company had been in Palisades Village, which is one of the rare stretches of land that escaped last year’s fires. Sources say Adam Sandler did not want to subject his staff to the toxic fumes in the area.

Also, and this is a real thing.

There’s nowhere to get lunch and I’m not saying that Flippandtly, a source close to Adam Sandler says, you live seven minutes from the Fox Lot, and he asked his employees is this closer for you? He would have gotten a free deal over at Netflix, but he wanted to make sure his employees are closer to home and having an easier ride. Adam Sailor is a good guy, a family man. I love the way he dresses. Right now, I’m wearing sweatpants, a yellow hoodie and a Knick’s hat.

So I’m sure Adam Sandler and I could be friends. We only disagree on one thing, and that one thing is he is terrible at comedy, but he’s a great dramatic actor and a solid guy. Ben Bankis, that’s the guy that made the jokes about the fatal shootings in Minnesota. He’s joked about both of them. Do you want to go see his comedy?

He’s up in Rochester tonight. He’ll be at the Carlson Right off Blossom Road. Two shows tonight, seven and nine, two shows tomorrow, seven and nine. Thirty bucks. I’ll get you in.

And Bill Cosby in the news. This is the story is about a week old, but I just saw it. Bill Cosby’s longtime representative, Andrew Wyatt, is speaking out after Bill Cosby allegedly confessed to refilling his colude prescription in hopes of using them on women. Wyatt told Us Magazine, I’m hurt and disappointed. He was like a father to me.

Broke my heart when I saw this today. The saw this as referring to a TMZ report on January twenty eighth. That report from TMC says that Cosby admitted under oath that he had a recreational prescription for queludes and refilled it seven times with the intent of drugging women to have intercourse with them. Andrew Wyatt said, I was the only one who visited him in prison. I was the one who walked him out of prison, not his attorney.

I truly believed in his innocence. I believed in what he was telling me. Someday I will tell you some Bill Cosby stories. You’re gonna have to wait for mister Cosby to pass away for me to tell them to you. But I have Bill Cosby stories for you, and someday I will share them.

That is your comedy news for today. All right, Tomorrow super Bowl preview, and Sunday Ismo drops by. You have an awesome weekend.

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News and daily briefing on stand up comedy comedians in the comedy industry. A phraeze that apparently if you stop saying, your Spotify numbers go down. Apparently that phrase works, And I’m gonna try and keep it light today. I’m looking ahead to tomorrow’s script.

I’m gonna dive in tomorrow about Andrew Schultz a little bit. So tomorrow’s gonna get a little political. I’ll keep it silly today. I want to dive into this Kermit gait. Have you heard Kermit the Frog’s current voice.

We got a whole problem with that. We’ll get to that in a second. Briefly political, you know this Epstein stuff is pretty serious when Jimmy Fallon is cracking jokes about it. Fallon said, well, guys. The fallout from the latest Epstein files release continues, and President Trump’s Justice Department said that it’s not a crime to party with Epstein.

Falon said, did years to come up with an excuse, and that’s what you went with. If someone said that to you, what a super Bowl party? And slowly back away and call the police fallent again in a Trump impression, said partying with Epstein doesn’t make me a criminal. The thirty four criminal convictions do fallen s data, and this one’s a little hacky, but on point. Yeah.

They said it’s not a crime to party with Jeffrey Epstein, which is pretty much like saying it’s not a crime enough brunch with Jeffrey Dahmer. Jimmy Kimmel said, that’s right. It’s also not a crime to borrow a bottle of baby oil from Diddy.

Our first story today, I’m doing cold.

I came down to the studio right around noon and check my phone and I had a note from one of the listeners who told me I might want to check out Bill Burr’s Facebook page, and I’m like, hmm, I’m intrigued. Well, it seems here that Bill Burr has announced some dates he’ll be playing some shows, and I was told to check out the comments section. Let’s see common number one, how many Saudi princesses will be there for the show bill Someone posted Bill Burrd did the math. I figured it would be worth losing ten million dollars to make one million dollars. Dennis posted, sure, hope they have a Chili’s near these venues.

That’s very good, Dennis for the win there. Peter, after he did his free Luigi on a chat show, a call was made and he hasn’t been the same since. Dave went with bonesaw Bill coming at you get your tickets. Ray wrote, I’ll bring my Saudi funded nine to eleven shirt. Liam called him the Prince Harry of comedy.

I like that one, and Matt went with Texas Are you sure? Bill Burr may have had the worst year of any of the comedians of twenty twenty five. Our big topic today is Kermit Gate. I can’t decide if this is either going to be the thing that gets more downloads than any episode I’ve ever done, or if I’m making a total mistake. A lot of new listeners joining on this week as I’m running some advertising.

Hello new listeners, I appreciate you, hope you stick around. But this Kermit thing is bothering me. Have you seen this. There’s a new Muppet show and someone is doing the voice of Kermit the Frog. I brought some audio.

Let’s go all the way back to nineteen seventy one. The original voice of Kermit the Frog Jim Henson. This is very early in the Kermit the Frog universe. Jim Henson, here is a guest on Dick Havevitt’s TV show. I just want to share this with you quickly, and I want you to remember this when we get around to Kermit the Frog on Jimmy Kimmel’s show some forty five years later.

But here’s Jim Henson performing Kermit the Frog. Hell yeah, hi, oh yeah, well how do you do? It’s nice to be here, you know, and hello out thereon you left. But he’s his whole body has changed a great deal since you know, the early one. Why did it change?

Is it a matter of diet or yeah, well it’s not really diet. No, same matter of progressing, you know, in the direction of you know, better looking frogs. I suppose. Get a little bit more modern. This is the Kermit the Frog in your head if you were of a certain age, say fifty six years old, recording a podcast in your basement.

This is what Kermit the Frog sounds like. This from the nineteen eighty six oscars I Got I Got You? Yes, Unless or not. Animated short films weave their magic unrestrained by the limitations of human actors. True, an animated character can defy the laws of gravity.

Mmmm, move from place to place without regard to space or time. Woo, and continue to amuse generation after generation without growing older or asking for a raise. Yeah. In short, and we are animated characters, and these short films, they appear and can do absolutely anything the imagination can conjure. Sadly, Jim Henson passed away in nineteen ninety, Kermit the Frog did not.

Kermit was voiced by others. And I’ll get back to that. Here is two thousand and two. S it’s a very very Muppet Christmas movie. And this still kind of sounds like Kermit the Frog.

Jay, I could sure do with a little star power around your triumph. Here’s any way you can help me out. Muppet movies are always debased. You mean, not for me to pop on. Right right?

You got me again? Uh huh, bye bye.

---

And now here’s Kermit the Frog in twenty twenty six.

Listen to this disaster, and I will say to you, as a master of half ass impressions, most people’s half asked Kermit is better than what you’re about to hear. If I walked up to you right now, and said, do Kermit the frog. Your kermit would be better than this one. I don’t have a kermit. I know I have all my half assed impressions, but I don’t do a kermit.

I’m not attempting a kermit. You cannot bully me into doing a kermit. Unless you want to come to the brewery and buy me a couple beverages. Then maybe, but I’m not doing a half ass kermit for you now. If you want to hear a half asked kermit, here is official Kermit twenty twenty six, speaking with Jimmy Kimmel.

Thanks for having me. It’s great to have you, and I’m excited about the new project. Wondering how this happened or like you, was it difficult to get the other muppets together to come back? No, no, not at all, okay, I knowing you know what. They couldn’t wait to do them up at you again.

But then again, there’s not a big demand for a pig who sings, ain’t bear who tells jokes, and a bunch of dancing raps soue. Okay that’s there now. What were they doing though? During all this time? What were the other muppets up to.

Oh, well, not much involving a bait check. But you know, I was trying to get the special off the ground, which you know, it took a while. Jimmy. You know, it turns out that a lot of people in Hollywood say yes when they actually mean no. I have experienced that myself, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you know, as far as the others go, Miss Piggy, she was on vocal rest, which actually we were all kind of okay with. That is unacceptable. They need to do something about that. The New Muppet Show is out. The Guardian watched it.

They gave it three stores out of five. Their subheadlines says, this story half hour anniversary special captures the spirit of the original TV show at points, but Kermit’s voice takes him getting used to. It’s the fiftieth anniversary of the Muppet Show. Disney, which now controls of the Muppet Show, got the old gang back together and added guest appearances from Suprise a Carpenter, Seth Rogan, who happens to be the executive producer, and Maya Roodolph for a one off half hour special. The Guardian writes, God bless everyone involved.

They’ve tried. You can feel it. They want to make it good for us. They know we deserve it, They know everybody at the moment desperately needs a brief, shining moment out of the darkness. But as Thomas Wolf so rightly said, you can’t go home again.

Look, it’s fine if you’ve never seen the original. It’s probably even good if you have. There are still moments that tease it taste and memory. But the bits in between their drab the script, including and most obviously Statler and Waldorf’s heckles, is begging for a polish Is this despite the half centuries notice they had a rush job, Or has the show’s time simply passed and no one can carry off exuberant silliness anymore. Well, let’s get to the point of today’s podcast.

There does remain the nagging problem of Kermit’s voice Your Mind is Henson played until nineteen ninety. Veteran muppeteer at Steve Whitmyer inherited the role and played it until he was dismissed by Disney for what they can called quote unacceptable business conduct. Matt Vogel now plays the character, and our dearest Frog sounds jurrently different to anyone born before Vogel’s tenure. It puts the magic even further out of reach, but maybe only to us and we’ve had our time. You’ll find all this on Disney Plus now.

Steve Whittmeyer, who was the second voice of Kermit the Frog, has a blog. Steve wrote, Kermit as Jim created him contains years of depth and growth without default attention to that. Do you really believe it’s Kermit just because it looks like him? Kermit is at the top of the Muppet pyramid, the spoke in the middle of the Muppet wheel around which all things Muppet revolve, and without Kermit being fully intact, there is no future for the Muppets, no new directions, no exploitative reboots, nothing that nurtures the historical connection to you, the audience. That connection as it was originally established, is vital.

Whitmeyer continues viewing the Muppets primarily as rolls began as soon as Jim was gone and altered the perception from seeing them as individual entered who exist on our own world to being a corporate owned puppet character franchise with people hired to play them skipping ahead. Corporate thinking goes that all the years of interior development done by an originator can be replaced by simply auditioning someone who could lip sync approximated voice and focus the eyes, even if that person has no true understanding of the reasons behind why the world has a solid and loving connection with the character. But I want you to know, from day one throughout nearly three decades, not once did I ever have the notion to make Kermit my own. On the contrary, was absolutely vital to my process to make certain that any egotistical notion of marking territory never happen, so that Kermit remained based solely upon Jim’s foundational original Kermit Gate Everybody, I love it. Dave Chappelle and John Stewart will appear together at a benefit for Yellow Springs Radio Station WYSO.

This benefit February thirteenth, that’s like a week from now. The general manager of the radio station says, we see them as aligned, even though they’re very different. They’re two of the most important voices calling out how dangerous it is that First Amendment rights are being trampled, that we’re seeing censorship of important voices and legacy media capitulating to the Trump administration. We are told the evening with Chappelle and Stewart will have a talk show Vibe. The GM said Chappelle has a list of friends he likes to collaborate with, and John Stewart is on the list.

In John said yes immediately. Jimmy Kimmel told his viewers during one of his monologues this week that he will demand to host the Oscars in twenty twenty seven if Milania ends up nominated in Best Documentary category. He said, mark my words right now, if Malania gets nominated for an Oscar, I will host that show. Whether they asked me to or not, I will insist on it. We’ll let Conan know.

Bobby Slayton is in the Epstein files. This from Syracuse dot Com, who report Bobby Slayton was regularly sending messages with Jeffrey Epstein. According to screenshots of text messages and emails, Bobby Slayton’s name appears in more than two thousand documents. I’ve done two thousand episodes of this podcast. I think I’ve mentioned Bobby Slayton twice, including dis mention some of the correspondents.

Thanks Jeffrey Epstein for letting Bobby Slayton stay at a New York City apartment while on tour. Now this caught the attention of Syracuse dot com, not for the reasons you’re thinking. Apparently upstate New York sticks up for itself. They are focused on September twenty fourteen correspondence in which Slayton wrote, wish I was in NYC having dinner with you and Woody in Rochester in the depths of comedy hell send Woodman my best. We are getting along here, but I left myself a note here that says, don’t bump these next two stories.

So okay, Johnny Mack from the past, I won’t. Craig Ferguson was talking about his podcast and says he’ll still do interviews, but only if they’re in person. Ferguson explains, I think I’m probably as good as anyone who does zoom call interviews, but in person, I think maybe I’m a little better than most people who do it. So I kind of feel like played your strength. I enjoy it much more when you’re in a room talking with someone.

So what I do now with the podcast is if I’m away on work, I’ll just record a half hour of me answering questions from people who watch the podcast, and then that’s the podcast. If I can’t have a guest in the studio, and I’ll just talk directly the people who watch it. Craig’s tour begins today. See that’s why I can’t bump. The story begins today in Charlotte, North Carolina.

The tour is called Pants on Fire. He’s not sure if he’ll make it a special. Craig says, I don’t know if I want to make any more stand up specials. I made one a couple years ago and it turned out okay, and I was happy with it. But the thing is about making special I always think you do it, and then if you ever look at it later, you go, ah, I could have made that better by doing that.

Jay Leno, who some think is the worst person who ever lived, Craig did not comment on that or not. Jay Leno has never made a stand up special in fifty years, and I don’t think he ever will. I kind of get it. I like the doing of stand up. I don’t know that I need to film it.

Maybe I will, I don’t know. I hope somebody jokes aside. I hope somebody has at least captured some jay Leno material, so that someday, one hundred years from now we could see what a jay Leno concert look like. Here’s another story that passed. Johnny Max says, I’m not allowed to bump.

British comedians Rob Beckett and Remesh Waggonnathan have tried their hands at Bob’s letting with Team Great Britain. Yes, it’s the Robin Ramesh first Team GB Winter Special in that the comedians squeeze into Bob’s lay suits as they get a taste of life in Bob’s lay. The two part special follows them in search of their very own winter sport. I have this dream that someday I’m going to hit up the Republic of Ireland and see if me and some friends of mine can be their beach volleyball team. I haven’t done anything about this, but someday I will.

Lance Corporal Taylor Lawrence, who was training for second Olympics, posted about the experience on social media. He said filming with SkyTV and Rob Beckett and Ramesh Reagon Ethan was a lot of fun, although I don’t think they should give up their day jobs. Great guys to be around, and jumped in with both feet. I see what you did there, bumping a lot of stories on the fly today. It’s always good when that happens.

That makes me happy. Tomorrow’s show, like I said, we’ll get into the Ander Schultz of it all a little bit. Then. Of course, it’s Friday, so Comedy stock Market. Saturday will be the super Bowl preview.

A lot of comedians doing commercials. I’ll talk about that someday. I have a fantastic interview with comedian Ismo. Ismo will be playing the Just for Last Vancouver Comedy Festival. I had a lovely half hour conversation with him the other day, So that’ll be Sunday’s episode.

Looking ahead to Vancouver. Friend of the show Mike Chisholm, you know him from the Letterman podcast. He’s going to act as the Vancouver correspondent. The nice folks at Just for Laughs hooked Mike up with some tickets. He’s going to hit some shows and report back to us.

Plus he’s going to see David Letterman. And I told Mike if he can come up with a David Letterman interview, I will send him one Canadian dollar via Venmo. Get it done, Mike. It’s been such a busy week. I really haven’t commented too much on Comedy Survivor.

Now, if you’re a new listener, we’re playing Comedy Survivor. We put sixteen comedians on Comedy Island, and each week the listeners are voting off one comedian. What you do is you go to the Daily Comedy News podcast group. You’ll find a picture. This week’s picture is me extinguishing the torch of Ron White, and I love that.

The listeners are like, hey, you should have had Ron have a cigarette, or you should ad him some potato salad, and like, Okay, I don’t know how much time you guys think I spend on these bits. Voting ends at end of day today so I can record the episodes on Friday. The results of Comedy Survivor come out Monday’s at noon. Easter. And let me just skim here and just see how things are trending.

I see one vote for somebody whose name hasn’t come up before. H This seems to be a couple of votes for Jay Leno. Leslie Jones’ name seems to be yours. I scrolled down. Okay, looks like it’s a tight one.

Some people are hanging back to see which way. The group is going to see if they can help vote someone out or perhaps steer the conversation away from someone they don’t want to vote it out. Very fascinating. Comedy Survivor. Go to the Facebook group Daily Comedy News podcast group.

Write down the name of somebody you want off. Please make it super crystal clear so I don’t write like I was kind of thinking maybe somehow I’ll vote off Joshmo. Let’s just write Joshmo out that way. It’s nice and easy. We don’t need a controversy over Comedy Survivor.

The last thing I want to get is like a note from Dylan in the Facebook group on the side, be like, hey, bro, you said Schmoe had six votes, it’s actually seven. I think we’ve got. That’s a last thing I want for this bit. This has kind of scary From Reuters, a Russian stand up comedian was convicted of inciting hatred and jailed for nearly six years. This over a joke the comedian made about a legless war veteran Artemi a stan.

It has been sentenced for five years and nine months, also fined three hundred thousand rubles that’s around thirty nine hundred dollars. I’m no expert on the law, but it seems to me like the fine and the jail time are very out of sync. Astanin was also convicted of offending the feelings of Christians with an off color joke he made about Jesus, which angered Orthodox nationalists. The crux of all this show last year in March, the comedian joked about how an impoverished war veteran who had lost his legs after being blown up by a mine was now forced to get around on a skateboard, and the crux of the joke being that the veteran had run over the comedian’s foot. Apparently, there is video of the joke’s punchline, which shows fellow comedians remaining straight faced and the sound of several audience members laughing.

A stun In tried to flee Russia last year, but was arrested by police in Belarus and returned to Moscow to face charges. He was asked by the judge on Wednesday if he understood his sentence. A stun In is quoted as saying, to hell with your judicial practice. No, I don’t, and I’m gonna leave you with this one, because we could all use a laugh this week. This has nothing to do with comedy.

This is just I’m on the internet all day and I’m looking up stories for this and for Palace Intrigue, the podcast I write where we cover the royal family. And you know, I’m just on the internet all day because this is just it’s what I do. I saw this one again, has nothing to do with comedy, but it might make you smile. From the Daily Mail, a man sparked an evacuation at a French hospital after doctors discovered an eight inch long live World War One artillery shell in the man’s rectum. That’s right, the man was in the hospital.

He had an eight inch World War One artillery shell in his rectum. The twenty four year old man was described as being in a state of extreme discomfort. Emergency surgery was carried out to identify the large object in the man’s rectum. They figured out it was an artillery shell dating back to the First World War. But here’s the money quote quote Worse still, it had not exploded, so bomb disposable experts had to be called in to diffuse the shell.

With the fire brigades standing by. Explosives are no jokes. Staff and patients were evacuated from the hospital. A security perimeter set up around the accident in emergency unit. The man is set to be interviewed by police.

They are investigating the charge of handling Category A munitions And here is I’m gonna read it verbatim. I’m gonna read it from the article and I’m trying not to laugh. I’m gonna just try and read this. This is from quoting directly from the Daily Mail article, and they wrapped it up with there was no I can’t this is too funny. Oh, let me try again.

I could edit this out, but I want you to hear that. I think here, okay from the Daily Email. The final sentence of the article is I can’t. Let me have a sip of my iced coffee here, m okay, try this again, John, and I could edit this up. That’s no fun There was no Oh boy, I might have to go record another episode and come back just to do this tag or have the AI do it right?

Why more try. There was no initial explanation as to why the shell ended up in the man’s body, but local media speculated that it might have had something to do with his social life that as she copy news for today Bye,

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Very busy one today. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News from Daytona Beach. The new Grand Marshal of the sixty eighth running of the Daytona five hundred on Sunday, February fifteenth will be Nate Brighetzi. Nate’s publicist stayed on top of Daytona with this fancy press release.

The Grammy Award winning number one touring comedian in the world in two times Saturday Night Live host is now making the jump to the silver screen this spring with his first feature film. He created, Corote, produced and stars in the family friendly comedy The bread Winner for Tri Star Pictures, schedule to be released theatrically on May twenty nine, twenty twenty six. None of that mentions date Zona. The press release also gets in Widely known as the Nicest Man in stand up, Burghetti has become one of America’s most beloved comedic voices. Blah blah blah.

Is he widely known as the nicest man in stand up? I mean he seems nice. I’m sure he’s lovely, but see widely known as that. It is through the phrase into Google. The Atlantic in twenty twenty one had the headline Nate Pergetzi’s the nicest man in stand up.

Now. I’ve never met Nate, but again, I think that Jeff Foxworthy is very, very nice. It seems everything’s going back to that article and they are running with it. Anyway. We are told that his clever and wildly relatable storytelling has made him a favorite among fans of all ages, qualities that align perfectly with the excitement, tradition, and national spotlight of the Daytona five hundred.

Frank Kelleher is president of the Daytona International Speedway and he said Nate Pergetzi’s nationwide popularity, family friendly, humor, and authenticity and body the same spirit with a style that resonates with all. He’ll bring a memorable spark to the command, amplifying the emotion and excitement of one of the biggest moments in motor sports. All the public’s got it done. They want us to know. His most recent Netflix Specially Your Friend Nate Pergetzi is currently the most watched dan up special on Netflix in the past fifty two weeks.

His Big Dumb Eyes World Tours set a record for biggest one year gross by a comedy perform in history and has broken over forty total arena attendance records. In addition to giving the command to fire up the engines, Nate will also participate in a fanned Q and a session in the fan zone that morning. I did Daytona a few times. I had a hot pass from serious xam. I’ll wait till Daytona day to tell those stories because we have a lot to get to.

Nate did win the Grammy and as part of the story they’re selling us this week. During the pre show premiere ceremony, Nate was lounging on the couch under a blanket when he heard that he won his first Grammy. A video happened to be rolling as this announcement happened. Nate is covering his hands in disbelief. He seems so shocked that he doesn’t even say anything during the video.

After the ceremony, Nate posted the video that shows him reacting. Good thing somebody was rolling at camera. Nate said, I am honestly blown away and as surprised as the video shows. Thank you to all that I’ve ever been to a show or watch A special thank you to every comedian that’s been part of my life. I love stand up comedy so much and so excited to see how stand up is exploding.

Thank you to my family who’s been so supportive of me, especially my beautiful wife Laura and our wonderful daughter Harper. God has truly blessed me with so much love and support around me. Now, I don’t want you guys to think that I don’t like Naperghazzi. I just overreact to press release e press releases, and boy, the publicists to earn their money on that one. What a yarn they are selling there.

I’ll give you an early hint for this week’s comedy stock Market Dave Chappelle. Dave’s going to return to Minnesota to quote, stand with a community. He’ll be doing a performance at the Grand Casino Arena on February sixteenth. The announcement describes Dave’s decision as an act of solidarity with a community. Quote at the center of events that you denied all Americans in defense of civil rights, human dignity, and the principles we claim the hold sacred, Amen, Dave.

The press release says Dave’s appearance reflects a quote decades long commitment to showing up for communities and crisis and using comedy as a force for connection and solidarity. I like this move a lot now. Interestingly, in July of twenty twenty two, Dave was scheduled to perform at First Avenue in Minneapolis. That’s the place Bruce Springsteen showed up at last week. That show was moved to the Varsity Theater in an apparent reaction to Dave’s transfer material.

You may also recall that in twenty twenties, that long ago, Netflix released a special titled eight forty six, which featured Dave Chappelle talking about race in the wake of George Floyd’s death. Eight forty six refers to the length of time George Floyd was pinned to the ground by a Minneapolis police officer. Daves announced a couple other shows to tell you about those later in the week, one with John Stewart and a second one in San Francisco this weekend. But we’ll get to that. Bill Maher shot back at Dave Chappelle on Friday’s Real Time.

Bill Maher asserted that he was right to mock Dave Chappelle for suggesting Saudi Arabia has freer speech of the United States. Mar said Dave Chappelle lashed out at me last month because I called him out for saying there was more free speech in Saudi Arabia than here. Well, I was right. What he said was stupid. Maer argued that the United States is a far different place than Saudi Arabia regarding free speech, quoting Bill Maher.

If you don’t believe me, try opening a lesbian art gallery there, or wearing a T shirt that says Jesus is the one True God. Ricky’s right meeting Ricky Gervais. Celebrities don’t know about the real world. I feel terrible. I’m a terrible, terrible host.

I forgot to tell you guys for two days. I meant to tell you this when I recorded the Sunday Grammy segment. Anyway, John Marcos Areisi released a short fourteen minute set. It is on YouTube. It is called Shelf Life Volume two.

I feel awful the publicists sent that over. I knew in advance and I just forgot to actually voice the story. Sorry, publicist. You know I love you. You know I love John Marco.

John Marco has been named a Deadline comic set to break out into twenty twenty five. I think that happened, and he’s been named by me twenty twenty six Comedian of the Year. I wrote that back to the publicist and she was like, wait, who said that. I’m like, oh, I did. She encouraged me to keep doing it.

All right, let’s hook that up with some views Shelf Life volume two. Jackie Fabulous has a new special on Hulu Today. In the special, titled You Can Leave, Jackie Fabulous tackles topics ranging from ex husband and diet pills, to menta pause and what people do. The Drive You Nuts.

Also out on Hulu Today, Chris Spencer’s new special, Goat Adjacent, presented…

Spencer touches on everything from marriage and family, aging, race, and his Jamaican roots. Some More has announced a Netflix special that one called Chandelier Fly that’ll be out February seventeenth. So it looks like Netflix is starting to roll specials out again because Kat Williams is out on the tenth Tuesday specials are back. Baby. Some More is a special Chandelier Fly, filmed at the Gordon Theater in Detroit.

She shares her takes on untimely death, celebrity scandals, and cell phone companies learning to mind their business. David Letterman will executive produce a Paul Schaeffer documentary. It is titled appropriately Say Hello to Our good Friend, Paul Schaeffer. David Letterman, in a statement, said, Paul Shaffer is a show business friend who became a real friend. A comedic partner who’s quickness in timing saved me night after night.

A composer, arranger and performer with endless range. His vast knowledge and list of collaborators in music make him a living rock and roll Hall of Fame. There’s no one more worthy of an examination of his life and work. You may recall, Paul Schaeffer was the sidekick on Late Night with David Letterman, which launched in nineteen eighty two. We just missed the anniversary.

I forgot to mention it. Paul was the leader of the World’s Most Dangerous Band. Then in nineteen ninety three, after those meetings at NBC gave the Tonight Show to the Worst person who ever lived, Jay Leno, Dave headed over to CBS to host the Late Show. Paul went with him, and Paul was the leader of the CBS Orchestra. Paul Schaeffer said, any contribution I’ve been lucky enough to make to the world of music and comedy has only been possible thanks to my working alongside David Letterman.

That’s why worldwide pans joining to help tell my story as a dream I cannot wait to share with all of you. Conan O’Brien returns to host the Oscars on Sunday, March fifteenth, seven East four West. It’ll be live on ABC and Hulu. Last year’s Oscars were very well received and the reason for today’s new story is the producers want us to know one hundred percent of the writers and producers are back. Full writing team is back, and plus they added former Conan writer Todd Levin.

Pandora has settled with comedians in a legal dispute over spoken word content licensing. Nine comedians and their heirs, including George Lopez, Lewis Black, and the estates of Robin Williams and George Carlin, had been fighting since twenty twenty two to increase the royalties paid when their comedy is streamed on Pandora. There has been a confidential settlement. The comedian’s lawyer said we settled amicably. Mystery Science Theater three thousand being revived again.

I stumbled across this on my own as a civilian. I wasn’t even doing show prep. I was just watching YouTube and I saw the announcement for the kickstarter. They want to produce four new episodes. The kickstarter in the first twenty four hours generated one point one to seven million dollars.

The original goal of the kickstarter was to raise twenty grand. In celebration of the twentieth anniversary of riff Tracks, Shout Studios now owns the rights to MST three K. Shout has teamed up with Rifftracks to produce new episodes of the show that will see Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett return, both in front end behind the screen. The four movies that will be featured will be revealed over the course of the campaign.

Nelson, Corbett and Murphy have been performing under the riff Tracks banner since two thousand and six. They often do Rifftracks live screenings, so it’s nice to see that they’re back involved in the MST three K verse. There was that weird Netflix season out there. Forget that ever, happened. Let’s get back to the main continuity.

MST three K launched on a Minneapolis the UHF station in nineteen eighty eight. Joel Hodgson previously revived the show via Kickstarter campaign in twenty fifteen. Was it that long ago season’s eleven and twelve yeared on Netflix? It’s ten years since the Netflix version? No way, I would have guessed like three wow, and then it was a thirteenth season on the online streaming platform.

The gizmo Plex totally missed that Eddie Murphy’s son and Martin Lawrence’s daughter are having a baby. Eric Murphy and Jasmine Lawrence announced the news. They posted thank you Jesus for the greatest gift. One person commented having Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence as your godparents is life. Another comment said that maybe gonna be talented and funny as hell?

All right? An item on Gossip Corner. I’m not playing the song because I do want to be serious here. I’m seeing this on a lot of social media. There is an alleged Jelayne Maxwell email asking famous sitcom star and comedian.

So think of a famous comedian who had a sitcom? So, whoever you’re imagining now. Well, apparently Julne invited famous sitcom star and comedian to the island. The email was shared as a screenshot in a Reddit community and has gone viral. In this post email, Jelayne Maxwell writes to Jeffrey Epstein, also, famous sitcom star and wife are going to be sailing around Saint t twenty six slash twenty seven.

Can I organize for them to come to the island for lemonade? Jeffrey Epstein writes back, Yes, there is no proof that the famous comedian accepted the lemonade invitation or dinner, or had ever been to the island. That’s just out there. John Stewart’s name does appear in the Epstein files. On Monday’s Daily Show, John said, of course, to get out of the story.

I’m also in the files. We all searched our names, right, you. Guys in search your name? All right? Well, I yeah, no, I know whatever I am in the files.

All right, this is actually true. I take you to the scene. It is midnight, August twenty ninth, twenty fifteen. Jeffrey Epstein lies wide awake, his mind turning with ideas. He juts a quick note to a producer named Barry Josephson, saying, I suggested to Woody.

Y’all know which Woody. Right see Epstein Files. It ain’t Harrelson, all right or the Cowboy Toy story, you know Rich Moonty returning quote, I suggested to Woody that he do an exclusive new stand up routine for either Apple TV or Amazon. Oh, Jeffrey Epstein always had his finger on the pulse of what America was clamoring for in twenty fifteen. But Barry Josephson, thinking like the out of the box television professional that he was, pitched this idea, this is true quote, make a true biographical experience with his stand up being the kapper.

Somebody like John Stewart could host, slash narrate the biographical part. Excuse me, I am offended. Somebody like John Stewart, Poor John Stewart. My point is, do I have the offer or is this an audition. With the big document dumb?

All the late night hosts have weigh in. John Stewart said, there have been consequences for none of these dudes. They’ve been on the plane, they’ve been on the island, they’ve been to his house, they’ve given creepy cards with pubic care. They’ve been accused by a multitude of women of multitude of wrongdoings and nothing has happened to any of them. I gotta be honest, I’m just not sure anyone’s going to be held accountable for any of this.

Oh except Prince Andrew. Oh, Prince Andrew stripped of the title Prince. W Ooh, such a penalty. I guess here I’ll plug. Uh.

Yeah, We’ve been talking about that a lot on Palace Intrigue. Palace Intrigue and the writer for that, and we talk about the royal family every day, and Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson and keeping me quite busy. Back to comedy, Stewart said, Look, man, we always knew that the people at DJ releasing these documents weren’t on a fact finding mission. They were running interference. And the guy that the running interference for seems very satisfied with these results.

Jimmy Kimmel, I think we’ve done like eight or nine hundred Monday shows. I don’t know that we’ve ever had more madness to go through. There’s so much. I’ll start with what we know on Friday morning, the ironically titled Department of Justice release about half of the Epstein files. They’re supposed to release all of them on December nineteenth of last year.

That obviously didn’t happen. They claimed they needed time to redact the names of the victims, but whether intentionally or as a result of incompetence, or a combination of both, they released thousands of files that did not have the names or photos of many of the victims redacted. But they did do a pretty decent job of redacting the names of the victimizers. There are many disturbing accounts of questionable activity and emails, notes, text messages, et cetera, and about a lot of famous people, including Bill Gates, Steve Bennon, Richard Branson, and of course Donald Trump. It would seem that some other famous people, including Elon Musk and Howard Lutnick, the Commerce Secretary, may not have been telling the whole truth about their actions with Jeffrey Epstein.

It is clear that Prince Andrew is royally, which is you know, it’s a term you hear a lot, but rarely when it is literally true. And most of all, it is so. Bananas that the guy who’s in charge of releasing all these files and redacting all this evidence is Donald Trump’s own personal defense attorney. You know, when Trump was convicted of thirty four felony council fraud, Todd Blanche was his lawyer. Now Todd Blanche is the gatekeeper to the Epstein files and the woman who could give us clarity on who did what.

Julane Maxwell is now doing yoga in a country club detention center because Todd Blanche moved her to one for reasons that he still hasn’t explained to anyone.

---

And then there’s all this other stuff going on, busting into the election hea…

My head is spinning. I guess that’s the point, But my gud, remember when Trump was threatening to invade Greenland. That was not even two weeks ago. We’re living in dog ears now and it’s only going to get nuttier.

---

And now that this new batch of Epstein files is out, the Distracto Mattock is…

Up Stein Vilbert did a lengthy monologue. Here are excerpts from it. I have made some edits to this four pacing. Because on Friday morning, the Justice Department released its largest batch of Epstein documents, which totals over three million pages. Three million.

Is a lot of pages, and it’s three million pages of just terrible stuff. Folks out there are still slogging through all the files, but they implicate a who’s who of powerful men, including everyone from tech titans to Wall Street power brokers. Yes, there’s one prominent guy who is in there, prominently because President Donald Trump is mentioned more than one thousand times, and the New York Times found fifty three hundred files with references to Trump and more than thirty eight thousand references to Trump, his wife and Mara a Lago thirty eight thousand references. That seems low, Frank, Obviously, this is the biggest story imaginable. But for some reason it isn’t what is detailed in those three million pages or allegations of some of the cruelest, most depraved crimes against women and kids involving some of the most powerful men on planet Earth.

Seth Myers said, we’re living in magas warped world where everything is upside down and nothing matters except who has power and who does not. They hail violent January sixth rioters as heroes and call peaceful protesters domestic terrorists. The government rounds up children and families and citizens and claims they’re going after the worst of the worst, while at the same time they cover up for wealthy and powerful elites named in the emails of a guy who was actually the worst of the worst. Late Nighter points out that even Saturday Night Live was mentioned in the Epstein files some quick hits there in twenty sixteen, the day after SNL aired a cold open in which Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump was visited by John Goodman’s Rex Tillerson and Beck Bennett’s Vladimir Putin. Epstein appears to have emailed a Variety article about the sketch to billionaire Tom Pritzker.

Twenty eighteen, Fred Armison portrayed Michael Wolf. Epstein filed off an email to the real Wolf with his review SNL was great. Late Nighter recaped several other SNL mentions in the files and from the Washington Post. Donald Trump told some jokes the Washington Post tells us Trump was addressing the Afalfa Club. Some members of the club are known to be in opposition to the president.

The president’s jokes included and of course he told them better than I will. So many people in the room I hate most of you. I like, who in the hell thought this was going to happen. The President joked he might have to cut the speech short because he needed to watch the invasion of Greenland, joking, We’re not gonna invade Greenland, We’re gonna buy it. It’s never been my intention to make Greenland the fifty first state.

I want to make Canada the fifty first state. Greenland will be the fifty second state. Venezuela can be the fifty third. Currently, the President pointed to Kevin Worsh, nominee to be the next FED chairman. The president joked, if he does a lower interest rates, I’m suing his ass off.

Trump took a beat for timing and jagged it with I’m kidding. Later in the day, the President was asked by reporters about the comments. The President explained, it’s a roast, it’s a comedy night. Apparently, the president joked that he thought Conda Leeza Rice would be the first female president, and his joke never in a million years when I’ve thought Joe Biden would beat her to it. The President also told reporters I had the nastiest, most vicious joke about John Roberts, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

If you think I’m going to tell that joke, you can forget it. I’m going to kiss his ass for a long time. That’s your comedy, is for it today? Oh boy? All right, I’ll see you tomorrow.

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hy There, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. The President of the United States has threatened to sue quote unquote talentless Grammy Awards host Trevor Noah for quote unquote plenty dollar signs. Apparently the President of the United States did not like one of the jokes. The President took time out of his very very busy schedule running the country to post on Truth’s social the Grammy Awards are the worst, virtually unwatchable.

CBS is lucky not to have this garbage litter their airwaves any longer. Next year, the Grammys will air on ABC. The President reacted after this joke from Trevor Noah. That is a Grammy that every artist wants, almost as much as Trump wants Greenland, which makes sense. I mean, because Epstein’s Island is gone.

He needs a new one to hang out with Bill Clinton. So, oh, I told you it’s my last year. What are you gonna do about it? Oh? The President had more to say.

The host, Trevor Noah, whoever he may be, is almost as bad as Jimmy Kimmel at the Low Ratings Academy Awards. Noah said incorrectly about me that Donald Trump and Bill Clinton spent time on Epstein Island. Wrong. I can’t speak for Bill, but I have never been to Epstein Island, nor anywhere close, and until tonight’s false, intfamatory statement, have never been accused of being there, not even by the fake news media. I don’t even know what to say to that one.

Never been accused of being there, The President continued, Noah a total loser. Better get his fact straight and get them straight fast. It looks like I’ll be sending my lawyers to sue this poor, pathetic, talentless dope of an MC and sue him for a plenty dollars sign Ask Little George Slapadopolis and others how that all worked out.

Also ask CBS get ready, Noah, I’m gonna have some fun with you.

Someone else who did not enjoy Trevor Noah is Nicki Minaj. You may recall this joke. We got John Letgend in. The house, Oh man, Every single person John Legend, Finnis Phineas Nicki. Minaj is not here.

She is not here, Um. She is. She is still at the White House with Donald Trump discussing very important issues. Actually Nikki, I have the biggest ass. I haven’t.

Everybody’s saying it, Nicki. I know they say it to you, but it’s me. Wop wop wop. Look at it. Look at it, baby.

Nicki minaj on X posted Trevor refuses to come out of the closet when everyone in the industry knows his boyfriend dot dot dot allegedly. In another post, she wrote, as they do their ritual tonight, God Almighty will reveal themselves to them. The ritual will backfire on them. God will not be mocked. Blessed is the mighty name of Jesus Christ.

Every tongue that rises up against me in judgment shall be condemned and put to shame. Watch You may know Nicki Minaje from such songs as Super Freaky Girl. In the Hollywood reporter Daniel Feinberg, who’s one of my favorites, wrote, Nobody’s going to come away from the Grammy’s telecap remembering any of Noah’s monologue speech because there was no monologue speech. There were barely any jokes. It was really just Trevor Noah running around the floor gushing about the talent.

In a very small portion of the audience. Really, Noah got to like three tables, enough time to shake a few famous people’s hands and say are you kidding me? Seemingly a few dozen times. It was an enthusiastic chummy thoroughly vapid. But if the point was for absolutely nobody in the audience to feel even slightly offended or amused, he achieved that goal.

Yeah, you gotta be careful because one time Joe Coy hosted the Golden Globes and told this horrible, mean joke about Taylor Swift. Here, let’s listen the big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL. On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift. Yeah, I mean, so, Trevor’s smart to play it safe. You don’t want to make a Taylor Swift level joke and have the Ice Queen make a face and basically wreck your career.

You don’t want that to happen, Daniel Finberg writes. And the truth, of course, is that for many viewers, Trevor delivered exactly what they craved, a hollow, cheery escape from everything happening on the news, an insulated celebration of super officiality that was then punctured by the awards and the recipients. Finberg writes, sure, I want things to be political if you don’t bully for you, But in lieu of political, I would have settled for funny or purposeful or not bothering waste ten minutes just starting the show. This was none of these. It was just enthusiastic.

Daniel then goes on to speak about how the artists were not as blanned as trivor specifically Bad Bunny. I’ll call out because Bad Bunny is the Super Bowl halftime show this upcoming weekend, and I suspect he will be in the news. Bad Bunny, during his speech, said ice out. We’re not savages, We’re not aliens. We are humans, and we are Americans.

Got some more politics for you later, or we’ll do that in the second half. I do try to keep it light. Ricky Gervais waited in during the awards, as he has done in the past. Ricky shared an excerpt from his infamous twenty twenty Golden Globes monologue in which he told the actors of the room not to turn their acceptance speeches into political calls to action. This time, Jervas used a crying emoji and wrote, they’re still not listening.

You may recall in twenty twenty. He said, if you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a political platform to make a political speech. You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Nate Berghatzy went on Bill Mahers show.

Bill Maher said, you and I we could not be more different. You met your wife at an Applebee’s. Nate Pergatzy was curious and asked Bill Moore, when was the last time you were at an Applebee’s. Morris said never. I don’t think it existed when I was poor and now I’m effing rich.

Pete Davidson debuted is not at all a podcast? The Pete Davidson Show on Netflix. Did you watch it? I don’t think too many people did. I was checking all weekend to see if it made the top ten.

It did not. Bert Kreischer’s Thing is in the top ten, but Pete did not. I lasted about two seconds with it. It was not for me. Pete Davidson sat down with MGK.

They discussed the importance of bidazz. Yes, I don’t know what you were watching all weekend. Maybe the Grammys, but you could have been watching Pete Davidson and MGK discussing bidezs. Pete Davidson refuses to use the bidet he has on the Japanese toilet in his home because quote, I’m afraid I’ll love it, and I don’t be able to, you know, go anywhere else because I can’t shoot water up my place. Let you shoot water up.

They got a little more serious. Pete said, I think we both thought we were going to die pretty young. I’m equally impressed by both of us and been able to keep it going, which it’s now past that point where it’s like, yeah, we’ve had troubles while sober, and you’re like, yeah, it’s fine. MGK said their bipolar has synced up. Every time I’m having a manic episode, you’re good.

Every time you’re having one, I’m good. It goes back and forth. Pete said, thank god, because we’d be dead for sure. Then they shared some stories about various drugs and I’m just not interested in any of that. Cant Williams will have a special on Netflix.

It’s his fourth. It will premiere February tenth, one week from today. It is called The Last Report. In it, Kat Williams delivers his take on conspiracies, celebrities, and the world at large. I went to pull the trailer for you, but he’s Kat Williams and I like to keep this podcast clean, so it didn’t work.

But I’ll tell you he joked about buying a farm and he bought all the animals that were delicious, like cows, pigs, and chickens, and that he hasn’t killed a single animal yet. I’ll save the joke part for a week from today when Kat Williams new specials out on Netflix. Don’t forget to vote for Comedy Survivor. Ron White voted out week four. A pretty shocking result there.

We’ll see who goes out this week. So what do you do? You go to the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group. You’ll find a cartoon image of me and Ron White in that thread. Vote someone off the island.

Just make a crystal clear vote. I’m voting off. So and so. It’s been a lot of fun and the group is having fun. Alliances are starting to form.

I think that’s good. If you’re at the comedy store in La tonight, really good. Lineup. They had a Jim Norton to a lineup that was already David Spade, Andrews Santino, Whitney Cummings plus more. That’s pretty good.

Gossip Connor spoons in the street, Gossip Conna, Bobby, Bobby, Gossip Conna were with Johnny magg It’s as. A tree and welcome to Gossip Corner. Now, this first one is completely unconfirmed, but I’ve seen a lot of chatter about this as the story goes, assuming when this even happened. Sadie Sandler, the daughter of Adam Sandler, was in a Chanelle store in Beverly Hills. As the story goes, one of the workers supposedly, perhaps maybe judged Sadie Sandler for her casual outfit while Sadie Sandler was perhaps possibly maybe looking at a classic flat bag, which goes for twenty eight six hundred dollars.

There is a widely shared TikTok video in which Sadie Sandler supposedly enters the Chanelle boutique. She stressed in an oversized hoodie, basketball shorts and trainers boy. She is her father’s daughter. As the story goes, a sales associate dismissed her interest and suggested the item was intended only for serious buyers. If the story is true, in this version, Adam Sandler himself shows up question the staff about judging customers by appearance, and then buys something himself.

It’s unclear what Adam Sandler has bought. If this story is true, The story is being reposted across multiple social plotfs. There are no photographs, surveillance footage, or eyewitness accounts from inside the store so far. The TikTok video also does not specify an exact date or time of the encounter. Did it even happen?

Who knows? Fun story sure.

---

Also on gossip Corner, Radar Online says Amy Schumer is being bothered by onl…

If even this gets mocked, it shows you can’t win no matter what she does. Bill Board put out the top touring comedians for December. John Mulaney leads the pack six point one million dollars fifty one thousand tickets sold over fifteen shows. Must be nice your top five. Number five.

Dave Chappelle grows two and a half million, sold eighteen thousand, three hundred tickets. Fourth, Jimmy Carr grows two point six million and sold forty one thousand tickets In third place, Matt Rife grows four to four and so old fifty nine thousand, six hundred tickets. Nate Brigetzi, who’s off in number one he was number two, grows to four point nine million, sold one hundred and seventeen thousand, and again John Mulaney fifteen shows, six point one million dollars fifty one one hundred tickets. Page six says that Tim Dillon hopes to film his next special on skid Row. A source says that’s what he wants to do.

I think he just thinks it’s a funny thing to do. On his podcast, he joked, LA should think of skid Row as an asset. Let’s be proud of it. Let’s say we are the top homeless destination in the world. I take friends now when they visit to skid Row, and I’m proud of it.

I’m like, there’s ten thousand people here right now. Jokes aside. I listened to the newest episode of Tim Dillon’s podcast. He was pretty serious for the entire episode. I think I can tell when he’s joking and not joking, and I think he was serious this week.

I did pull a clip. Here’s Tim Dillon. They’re censoring your post on TikTok. Anyone who’s not criticizing this, anyone who’s not calling this out, I cannot trust that. I don’t know why they’re not calling it out.

I don’t know if there’s a fine ancial benefit to them not calling it out, or if they feel that one side’s already one and they want to be on that side. I don’t know if they are fearful of something or other. But if you’re not calling this out, if you don’t think this is wrong, if you make a living speaking, if you’re a comedian, podcaster, journalist, whatever you are, doesn’t really matter. If you are a YouTuber, if you’re a social media personality, if you make a living using your fat mouth, and you don’t think this is a problem, You don’t think getting a group of billionaires that are ideologically aligned to go buy an app and then start censoring the content on the app. It was a problem when it was being done during COVID, and it’s a problem when it’s being done now.

And if you don’t care about that, and if you think that’s not going to affect you for whatever reason, I can’t trust you, and I can’t listen to what you say. You don’t have any credibility. And we started with politics, will end with politics. I wonder if we’re losing the country. The FCC chairman says fake news won’t qualify for the equal time rule exemption.

In case you missed it, two weeks ago, the FCC’s Media Bureau issued new guidance on the Equal Time rule, which requires that broadcasters who feature qualified political candidates on the airwaves provide time to rivals if requested. News had been exempted from the rule, and in recent decades it was assumed the rule also applied to daytime and late night talk shows like Say Jimmy, Kimme Alive, or Colbert. However, new FCC guidance has signaled to those talk shows that they should no longer believe they would be exempt. At the FCC meeting a Commissioner. Carr said that a determination on whether a show is exempt would come down to a number of factors, including whether there was a partisan motivation in featuring a political candidate as a guest.

He said that congressional lawmakers were worried that TV programmers would brought take advantage of trying to claim they were bona fide news when they weren’t. But if you’re fake news, you’re not going to qualify for the bonafide news exemption. Back in two thousand and six, the FCC determined that the Tonight Show with Jay Leno was exempt from the equal time rule. Carr said that assumption in light of the ruling was that every single late night, every single daytime show must be bonafide news, and he says that assumption is not right. So we’ll see how that affects bookings as we head into the midterm elections.

You know, sometimes the late night talk show is just a late night talk show, and that is your comedy news for today. See you tomorrow.

---

Full Transcript

Kalaroga, Shark Media outbit Outlaugh Outlast. This is Comedy Survivor. I’m Johnny Mack and this is the Week four elimination show for Comedy Survivor. We placed sixteen comedians on an island. Every week, the Facebook group at Daily Comedy News podcast group votes one comedian off comedy Island.

So far, Amy Schumer, Adam Sandler, and Joe Koy have been eliminated. Still in the game, Jay Leno, Jim Gaffigan, Nicky Glazer, Seth Myers, Kevin Hart, John Mulaney, Otsko At Kotzka, Sebastian Maniscalco, tig Nataro, Sarah Silverman, Leslie Jones, Ron White, and Bert Kreischer. The listeners have gone to the Facebook group and they’ve voted. I’m now tally the votes. Mike votes for Ron White.

That is Ron White’s first vote of the season. A Vaughn votes for Ron White. That’s two votes for Ron White. Scott votes for tig Nataro, Mike votes for Seth Myers, Dylan votes for Tignataro. That’s two votes Tignataro, two votes Ron White.

Barb votes for Ron White. That’s three votes for Ron White. Michelle votes for John Mulaney. That’s John Mulaney’s first vote of the season. Matt votes for Jay Leno, Andrea the votes for Tignataro.

That’s three votes tag Nataro, three votes for Ron White. Marty votes for Jim Gaffigan. That’s Jim Gaffigan’s first vote of the season. Andy votes for Leslie Jones with the hashtag save tig Raffy votes for Leslie Jones. That’s three votes for Ron White, three votes for Tignataro, two votes for Leslie Jones.

Richard votes for Ron White. That’s four votes for Ron White. Lindsay he votes for Otsko Atkotska, Lee votes for Tignataro. That’s four votes for Tignataro, four votes for Ron White. Aaron votes for Ron White, and Cheryl votes for Ron White.

In a shocking out of nowhere vote, the Facebook group has a line to vote off Ron White. Ron White went from zero votes to being voted off Comedy Island. No one is safe. We’ll take the break and we’ll come back and look at the analysis. Wow, what a stunning result.

The votes are in. Ron White eliminated. He had no votes coming into this week, and then you guys are like, he’s out of here. I’m also fascinated by the save Tignaitaro contingent. Well, they’ve become a voting block and a lot with whoever the trendy pick is to save.

Very fascinating. I’ve seen some people hanging back until later in the week to use their vote strategically. So much fun. Ron White six votes four, Leslie Jones two, A bunch of others got one. The AI says Tignataro is now officially the recurring alternative and that the backup target often becomes the main target the following week.

However, will people sacrifice Leslie Jones to save tig Nataro? Very very fascinating. Legacy comics are vulnerable so far. Who’s gone out? Or Amy Schumer, Adam Sandler, Ron White and Joe Coy one time, most of the Golden globes, So I don’t have time for that, The AI says, once the name of pears, it keeps appearing.

So that’s interesting because we had a few first time votes today. Organized blocks win. You don’t need the room, you need your people, According to the AI, who looks safe right now Gaffigan, Nikki Glaser Kevin Hart, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Manaskalco. But I’m looking back to last week’s AI analysis and the AI said Ron White was safe and thought the front runner for being in trouble this week was Tignataro. Not too far off the mark.

The AI’s guessed at who is in trouble this upcoming week Tignataro, Leslie Jones, Jay Leno. If the group finally decides it’s time to pull the trigger on Jay and we keep seeing Strevos for Osco at Conska, here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to go to the Facebook group. It’s Daily Comedy News podcast group. You’re going to find a cartoon image of me extinguishing the torch of Ron White in that thread.

Vote someone off. Please make it super clear that you’re voting someone off. All the side commentary is fine, but a nice clear sentence, like my vote is makes it super easy for me and the AI to check my work. The last thing I want to do is have a voting controversy off a silly once a week bit where we’re just having fun on Facebook. So let’s try and avoid that.

Do Crystal clear votes Facebook group Daily Comedy News podcast group. This is so much fun to do. I love putting it together. I don’t like look at it and kind of trend it. You know, I likely look at it during the week just to be like, oh, look a couple of Ron White votes.

But I’m not keeping an unofficial tally until I actually record the show in real time as you hear it. If you’re new to all this, I’ll give you the names real quick so you can play along at home. Out Amy Schumer, Adam Sandler, Jokoy, Ron White. Still in the game, you will vote someone off from the pool of I’m gonna read it in the opposite order today, Bert Kreischer, Leslie Jones, Sarah Silverman, Tig Nataro Zebastian Maniscalco, otsko At Kotzka, John Mulaney, Kevin Hart, Seth Myers, Nikki Glaser, Jim Gaffigan, or Jay Leno. That is your comedy Survivor for week five.

Back in the morning with a normal episode. Stay warm,

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Oh man, I psych. Hi, I’m Johnny Mag with your daily coming news. Why you psych, Johnny Mag? Because Trevor Noah got it done.

I was texting with my son. I’m like, I hope Trevnoa does a tight monologue and it’s done and I can record the show during halftime. And Trevor wrapped it up with twelve seconds in the first half as the Knicks played the Lakers. So high from halftime, as I’m recording, Trevor Noah just took the stage at the Grammys. I love Trevor.

I just think he’s a really good host, very comfortable. You can trust him with a show. Nothing amazing out of his monologue, but it was fun and upbeat, and you know he’s setting the stage for a party. He did go a long way for this first joke. Uppatah is actually inspired by a Korean drinking game right where you stack your hands on top of each other.

Someone shouts a number, you count up, and then if your hand hits that number, you drink. Yeah. That’s way more complicated than the drinking game we have in America. In America, every time you turn on the news, you drink ah pta ah pata. See you may be wondering, all right, is Trevor going to get pointed at all?

A little bit of here with this one? Oh and the one and only Miss Lauren Hill will be performing on that stage tonight, which is insane when you think about it, because the last time Lauren Hill performed at the Grammys was in nineteen ninety nine. I understand that you understand how long ago that was. Back in nineteen ninety nine, the president had had a sex scandal, people thought computers were about to destroy the world, and Diddy was arrested. Boy, how times have changed.

And then, really the closest thing to a political joke in the monologue was this one. We got John Legend in the house. Oh man, every single personally here, John Legend, Philly Alis, Phineas, Nicki Minaj is not here. She is not here, she is she is still at the White House. With Donald Trump discussing very important issues.

Actually, Nikki, I have the biggest ass. I haven’t. Everybody’s saying it, Nicki. I know they say it to you, but it’s me. Wop wop wop.

Look at it. Look at it baby. The Grammy for Best Comedy Album went to Nateperghetzi for your Friend Nateperghetzy. I didn’t think that was Nate’s best special at all, but okay, fine. He beat out Bill Burr’s Dropped Dead Year, Sarah Silverman’s post Mortem, Ali Wong’s Single Lady, and Jamie fox Is.

What had happened was Jamie, who, as longtime listeners know, I used to work with. He’s sitting pretty close upstage wearing a very big hat, like a hat that’s saying hey, look at me, and sunglasses, and I wonder if that particular look is perhaps, possibly, maybe somehow related to the stroke. I just found it an odd fashioned decision. Anyway. I hope he’s doing well.

Now. For today’s show, I’m flipping the order a little bit because I recorded the second half earlier. So usually I do the Newsy News in the first half and some of the more esoteric stuff in the second half. So that’s kind of flipped today just to accommodate the production. Remember I told you I think it was in yesterday’s show by the comedian Ben Bankers, the guy who had made jerky jokes about Renee Good.

Bankers addressed the cancel shows in a video he’s shared on his Instagram on the twenty ninth, and the clip he tells an audience, I just found out my shows were canceled in Minnesota FM. He said he was working on a new venue and dates for the fine people of Minnesota. The owner of the club who had canceled the shows told The Tribune that CAA, who represents Ben Bankers, is insisting that the club fully compensate Bankers for the canceled shows due to the fact that he was willing to perform fair enough. The owner also says that CIA will not allow any of its other clients to perform at the club until the matter is fully resolved. That would surprise me if CAA is ice club, And I did want to talk about the passing of Catherine O’Hara, who died Friday in Los Angeles at age seventy one.

The Toronto native began at the Second City as an understudy to Gilda Radner from Second City, the famous Canadian sketch show SCTV, where she did fantastic work and if you’re of a certain age like me, that’s where she got on your radar. Later playing the mom in the Home Alone Movies, McAuley Culkin posted, Mama, I thought we had time. I wanted to sit in a chair next to you. I heard you, but I had so much more to say. I love you.

I’ll see you later. In the Home Alone films, the family rushes through Chicago’s O’Hare Airport. The Airport posted thank you Catherine O’Hara, Forever our legendary missus McAllister. More recently, O’Hara was on Apple TV’s The Studio. Seth Rogan wrote on Instagram, We’re all lucky we got to live in a world with her.

She was hysterical, kind, intuitive, generous. She made me want to make our show good enough to be worthy of her presence in it. Pedro Pascal, who shared the screen with her in the Last of Us, wrote, the is less light in my world. This lucky world that had you will keep you always. Brooke Shields wrote what an honor it was to be spoofed by Catherine O’Hara on the old SETV series.

Mark Carney, Prime Minister of Canada, wrote, Canada has lost a legend. Over five decades of work, Catherine earned her place in the Canada of Canadian comedy. From SETV to Shit’s creek. She was an ambassador for Canada and the truest sense, brilliant, fearless, deeply original. It’s so full of humanity.

She made the world laugh, but she also made people feel seen. Mike Myers wrote, it was a very sad day for comedy and for Canada. She was one of the greatest comedy artists in history and inspiration for millions and above all, very elegant lady. Setting much love and condolences to her family. Michael Keaton wrote, we go back before the first beadle jew.

She’s been my pretend wife, my pretend nemesis, and my real life true friend. This one hurts, man. I’m going to miss her thinking about bo as well. Jernny Gunderson, executive director of the National Comedy Center, in a statement, wrote, Katherine O’Hara was one of the rare performers who could disappear completely into character and somehow make that character unforgettable shape what comedy acting could be, blending precision, humanity, and originality in a way that felt effortless. Her work will continue to inspire generations of performers and audiences.

So, like I said, to flipping the order around a little bit today, we’ll take the break here and we’ll come back and do more of a normal second half. Coming up at noon Eastern today the results of Comedy Survivor Week four. Looking forward to seeing who was voted off Comedy Island. Remember back on I think it was Friday show, maybe it was Thursday’s show. I had reached out to Deacon Mike.

I was curious about Stephen Colbert’s use of Faith leader. Stephen Colbert is a Catholic. I’m a Catholic and growing up Catholic, I never really heard that term. Deacon Mike said, his guest is, that’s a personal term from Colbert that would be all encompassing to be more inclusive to all people of faith. And you know, getting a vibe for how Stephen Colbert rolls when he’s not ruining Star Trek.

That makes sense. So appreciate Deacon Mike for getting back to me. He did to get back to me. I know in your world it’s like four days later. He got back to me about ten minutes after I finished recording the episode.

But thank you. Deacon Mike. Got some items from Gossip Corner. I’m not gonna play the song because the spirit of the show is not quote unquote dancing on people’s graves. I don’t want people to be miserable.

But in the news, Rob Schneider and his wife have announced that their marriage is coming to an end. Thirty seven year old Patricia has filed for divorce from her sixty two year old husband, Robert Schneider. The divorce summary is requesting the court to keep the documents confidential. The couple has two daughters, age thirteen and ten. They first met in two thousand and seven on a TV project.

Rob Schneider was forty four, Patricia was nineteen. They got married four years later. Staying on gossip corner, Raider Online has the headline Amy Schumer goes goopy over divorce love Lauren comic, using Gwyneth Paltrow as an inspiration for her conscious uncoupling. A source told Rader Online Amy is obsessed with controlling the narrative, really with controlling everything. She seems convinced that if she and Chris can have this perfect divorce, I don’t want her so much.

That’s why she wanted to get everything totally handled before making the news public. All the houses are getting sold, the money’s divided up and they’ve agreed on custody. There won’t be any fights or drama, which is very important to Amy for her son’s sake and for Chris. She’s very focused on protecting them both. These source ads no doubt Amy’s image is part of this too.

She knows it’s going to be picked apart, and she wants to give people as little ammunition as possible. As much as she claims not to care what people think, she actually does care a lot. Amy’s telling people she wants to stay friends with Chris, and they were even going to get each other’s advice on who to date, which strikes a lot of people as bizarre. I’m glad the source said that, because I was about to editorialize there, like and just say that’s weird. The source continued.

She’s also adamant that this has nothing to do with her suddenly getting skinny, but the timing of her weight loss does have a lot of people questioning if she’s being fully transparent about that. Now, while I was prepping the show, actually let me check this again. Hold on, okay, I was going to tell you there was a dead link for a day. There was a dead link under the headline Amy Schumer thought she’d be flooded with interest to mid divorce news, but it hasn’t happened. This on the National Inquirer dot com as a recording this on Friday.

The link it seems to have come back to life. An insider says Amy really thought she’d be flooded with interest, more dates, more tension, but it hasn’t happened. Another source says she’s not chasing anything. If a date happens, great, If not, she’s totally fine being on her own. Maybe she could date Rob Schneider.

I thought this was weird, a weird decision by The Daily Show. They used Whitney Cummings as a correspondent last week and Whitney Cummings in the Daily Show just don’t go together in my mind. If you spent a lot of time, especially on comedy threads, Whitney is not all that popular on social media, and without doing any research, I would guess Whitney Cummings is not that popular with many fans of the Daily Show. I just thought it was weird Whitney Cummings took over the shows in my opinion desk for commentary aimed at liberal voters and their tendency to demand perfection from Democratic presidential candidates. Whitney said, I’m here to talk to you as a liberal and acknowledge sometimes her politics have been misread.

Some people think got right wing just because I look and sound exactly like Kimberly Gilfoyle. But I’m a liberal. She went on for seven minutes, and the point of her thesis is if you keep holding out for mister Wright, we’re gonna end up with mister alt right. Pete Davidson was on the Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. He talked about being a dad.

He said, the reality has set in. We had a moment last week we were like, oh, she’s here, She’s like staying. Now it’s real. He also said about babies, they crap so much. They crap while they’re crapping.

The best advice I got and I hate it’s so name dropping, but Eddie Murphy gave you great advice. The best advice is no advice. You can’t tell another man how to raise his child. Jason Kelsey and ESPN will not pursue a second city of they call it Late Night with Jason Kelsey. Remember Jason Kelsey had a Late Night show that really nobody watched.

When I saw the phrasing, Jason Kelsey will not pursue a second season if they call it late night. My line on Threads was, I’ve decided not to continue pursuing dating Sydney Sweeney. I have the same chance. Here’s the spin. The decision came from Kelsey, who wanted to explore there are other opportunities during the off season rather than commit to another run of the show.

Dude, they did five episodes last year. Five. ESPN is supportive of continuing the program. Uh huh. Last year, Jason Kelsey hosted five episodes.

The show aired on late Friday nights. The debut episode got two hundred and ninety thousand viewers. Even Seth Myers is like, really, dude, more people watch my show. At the time, the ESPN president told The New York Times that the network wasn’t focused on ratings for the five episode experiment and said that the decision about the show’s future would be a little bit more art than science. But again, we’re being told that Jason Kelcey wants to explore other opportunities.

Isn’t that usually what you say when you get fired from a job. They like so and so has left the job to pursue other opportunities. Is and that we usually say, I’m calling hogwash there, Jason Kelce, and that is your comedy news for today, right at noon Eastern Comedy Survivor and Normal Episode in the morning. I’ll see you then