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From the Washington Post. Comedians made some hilarious jokes about climate change. Were they right time, Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Well, let’s see this one from Michelle Wolf. Climate change is a real big deal, and everyone says Mother Nature.

And I do believe Nature is a woman, because she’s trying to kill us in the most passive aggressive way possible. It’s not some sort of immediate fire or flutter cool explosion. She’s just like, what, I raise the temperature a little. Oh, are you comfortable? Maybe I wouldn’t have if you’d taken out the recycling like I asked.

I’m fine. That’s from twenty seventeen. The Washington Post then said a two degree fahrenheit increase over the past one or fifty years may sound inconsequential, for research shows the incremental heating were experiences pushing climate weather events to more extremes. I love what they did with this article. Nate burgatcy I looked up a list of what you’re supposed to do for global warming.

Is an individual, just talk to your friends and family about it. Think about how far it goes. I had a great aunt and uncle Phis fight each other at a wedding. Let me get the middle of that fight. Any chances fights about global warming, because I’d just love to get that conversation rolling.

That’s from twenty nineteen. Sis say people need to talk about climate change more, but Brigatsi describes how hard that task is. He’s not wrong. A bit of a stretch there, Washpo Joe Kim Booster from twenty twenty two Psycho Sexual. He has a couple in the crowd if they plan to have kids, they say yes, Joel says, so he don’t believe in climate change.

Wow, what an interesting way to learn that. I do think if you’re having kids knowing everything we know about the way the world is going, It’s sort of like when you’re at a party that you know is dying down. You get a tax from my friend. They’re like, Hey, should I still come to the party? Yeah?

Jump with that uber. I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’m sure there’ll still be ice at the party by the time you get here. When what you should be doing is calling them immediately being like, don’t come here. Somebody put on a podcast.

Party’s over. But The Washington Post points out, if the US meets its goal to cut emissions by half by twenty thirty and zero by twenty twenty. A child born today would have less of an environmental impact per year over their lifetime. Let me jump in here. I have that lilt in my voice when I’m amused by an article.

I’m actually if you know me in real life, I talk about the climate emergency a lot, So I don’t want to diminish this article. I’m just enjoying it as host of Daily Comedy News. The jective position between these jokes and these like serious points in between, that’s what’s making me laugh here. Interesting note from the author. I don’t know if Booster knew the carbon footprint of having a child when writing this joke.

Disclaimer I opened for him on his tour about a year before special and don’t remember talking specifically about climate change or hearing this joke. Kasha Patel is your author and also a comedian. Kristen Silvis, climate change is crazy. They got me scared about property at this point. I don’t want to pay for flood insurance.

I don’t even have car insurance. Like Silvis jokes flood insurance premiums or another cost that can be challenging to answer everyday expenses. Silvis told the Post comedians have always been vessels for change. Why not make use of that platform and humanize big issues like this? Well done, Washington Post.

Kamail nan Gianni, Hey, Camail, do you think of yourself as a comedian? If I were to say comedian actor Kamail nan Gianni, what part of you would think actor comedian Kamil na Gianni or actor writer Kamale This from the Good One podcast. On Jianni’s answer, it was a moment earlier where you said you were a comedian and that hurt my feelings. I was like, this, Emma, are over here. I definitely consider myself still a comedian.

I love doing it. I just haven’t done it all since February twenty twenty. That was the year I just finished shooting Eternals, and I was like, this will be the first year I do stand up and then you know, it didn’t happen. The hardest thing about coming back from breaks is for some reason, the jokes you’re doing before stop working, so you need new jokes. But it’s very hard to get into the gear of writing new jokes if you’re not used to being on stage.

So there’s always the tricky thing for me, The big barrier to coming back is having the time to do jokes and test them out. And do jokes and test them out. It’s a commitment. Like getting ten great new minutes would take me a while. Weird Q and A here Q, remember when you hosted SNL A, yeah, I do remember I hosted SNL so weird.

I was so nervous for it. But it’s really not a nerve wracking experience. It’s really more than ending an exhausting experience. The week is so busy, you’re going, going, going, going.

And then I went up and did the dress rehearsal and I went great, and I was li…

I have to do that again. When I was asked, I was like, oh, I want to write a good stand up set. I hadn’t been doing stand up a lot, and I just wrote this new seven minute set. That was the last time I was really like trying to build a stand up thing beforehand. They just told me just you know, sometimes Steven Spielberg comes and watches a student my set, and I looked over and he was like that far like row seven I’m talking.

Suddenly, I was like, oh, that’s definitely Steven Spielberg. If you watch it, you can see the moment I spot him and I stumbled for a little bit. You will know exactly what moment it is. I take a deep breath and I look away, and then I go back to it. From Ghana, Webb Dave Chappelle has revealed that jay Z has made some investment properties in Ghana.

According to a report from Ghana, Webb and Chapelle made the diclosure at a private event at the University of Ghana, saying that jay Z showed him pictures of the properties when he informed him about his plans to visit Ghana. The Jewish Chronicle caught up with Ari Shaffier. He said, superstars on TV are done, but there’s so many guys who owned houses, and that wasn’t a possibility before you were either Ray Romano or a road life or barely getting by having an apartment and dying at seventy with a heart attack. He says comedy is as big as it ever was, despite those that protest. Comedians and hosts quoting Ari, podcasts and comics are the only ones making rape jokes anymore, or age jokes and really going for it and being dirty when you can’t get it anywhere mainstream because someone might lose their job, then they come to us.

He was also looking forward to playing Pittsburgh. He appreciates the city for its casual acceptance that everyone is fat. It’s like donah, yeah, yeah, French fries and garbage on top of your salads. And he noted Pittsburgh as a cool city like Nashville or Austin, but without the street cred. He Mike bur Biglia, you booked David Letterman show at twenty four?

Did you realize this a big break? Then? That is a premise floated to Mike Greer Biglia by the Hollywood Reporter. But big said, I think so. They’re out my twenties.

Every article is about me. This guy’s the next big thing. Same with my thirties. Now in my forties, I’m the veteran of comedy. People don’t know how to position me because I’ve never had it happened to me and they signed Feldian or Ray Romano.

Way, it’s who. Ray Romano mentions in today’s podcast, if he had Ray Romano and Daily Comedy News bingo, you won. That’s not how bingo works, Johnny Mack whatever. That was Ali by choice. When I was thirty, I got a CBS sitcom pilot, Greenlit.

Nick Croll and Bob oden Kirk were in it with me, but it didn’t get picked up. Oops, CBS executive. And that moment it hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t want to be a sitcom star. And it’s not like they don’t still call I’m everything that networks think they want.

Because I smile a lot. They’re like, oh, we can mold this person. This is perfect for us. I had to come to Grips with the idea that the endgame for me is not being rich. The endgame is making something that makes me proud.

Good follow up here, the Seinfeld Romano sitcom path is gone. But is there a biggily a version of Barry or Rammie that’s appeling ber Big said, I love Barry Rami and Moa Mayer’s show, but no, I don’t like serialized storytelling. I’m obsessed with the ninety minute story. Everyone’s like it’s the golden age of TV. Who is the time in ninety minutes or two hours?

I want to meet characters, understand a world, go on a journey and land somewhere that’s slightly different from the beginning. I want to feel something and laugh and walk away and talk about it with my wife. That’s it. Another good question, if you took money out of the equation, would you prefer to release your work as film specials are comedy albums? Berbig said, when it comes to stand up I’m most interested in the audio.

The imagination could do a lot of work. If you listen to a Steve Martin record from the seventies, there are visual gags, but you get a sense for it. I Here Glass taught me this about radio over the years. Audio is so intimate you feel like you’re with the person. To be clear, theater is different.

It’s the sign that we’re all there together. And has he noticed anything about his audience since pin chaiting for Jimmy Kimmel earlier in the year, Rubig said, you realize when you do something that mainstream and wide reaching, the legitimacy that a network platform still gives you. People came out of the woodwork. Certain people were treating me like I had made it. They were like, you know, you could do this and I’m like, no, no, no, I do this other thing.

That’s your comedy news for today. Follow a show for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, wherever you get your shows. See you tomorrow.

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Five stories. They’re all good news. It’s called five good News Stories. No negative news, just kid news. Nice easy way to start your day, hopefully smile.

Hi, I’m Johnny Mack, host of five of Good News Stories. So you get the premise. There’s five stories and they’re all good news. So the number five good news stories. Five good news Stories.

Follow the show wherever you get your podcasts.

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Full Transcript

The Shark Deck. I’m Johnny Mac with your Daily Comedy News. I am all kinds of comedy snobby this week. If you’ve been listening, you’ve heard it, You’re gonna hear it more again Today. I’ll start with late night jokes, a bunch of good ones and then some bad.

Let’s just use the word bad. Why are you pulling your punches, Johnny Mac, They’re bad. Let’s start with the good. Jimmy Kimmel was having fun with Biden and the classified documents, and he joked America is one episode of Storage Wars away from finding out who killed JFK. Staffords for Joe Biden are now searching everywhere he could have possibly left documents.

His knapsack is Peel organizer under the arch at the nineteen o four World’s Fair. I love the Biden old jokes because they’re harmless, but they’re hilarious. Kimmel again. They could be in a birthday card he sent to his grandkids next to a crisp two dollar bill. No one knows.

And of course, at anytime documents are mishandled top secret documents, it needs to be taken seriously. That’s something Republicans Democrats believe, although Republicans have only believed it since Monday. Now the bad jokes, and these are terrible. The topic the FAA outage the other day. Jimmy Fallon.

Yeah, zero flights took off, but somehow everyone’s luggage still ended up in Pittsburgh. Yeah, Kimmel, this one was a little better. The system went down, resulting in an awful morning for travelers and a great morning for Southwest Airlines. They were like, wasn’t our fault this time? All right, Colbert, Well, this is what happens when you run your entire aviation system off a boingo hotspot.

Colbert does a lot of weird jokes like that that I don’t know. Again, I’m sure he tells them better than I do. I just don’t feel like they land fallon with this hackey one. Yeah, no one could fix the computer glitch. One guy at the FAA said, I don’t know, maybe unplug it and plug it back in.

But Jimmy Fallon saved himself. This last one is good.

Meanwhile, the outage happened while some planes were in the air.

If there’s one thing you don’t want to hear from your pilot, it’s at tension passengers, do yourself a favor and stay off Twitter for a little bit. The Hollywood Reporter caught up with Kevin Hart. Now the transcript of Kevin, I’m having a little trouble following it out. This is not a dig at Kevin. I’m really interested in the story.

But what you’re hearing right now is my third attempt to do the story because I keep tripping over the way the transcript reads Kevin’s words, so I’ll read them verbatim and see if you could follow along. Kevin said, Dave Chappelle has made me and Chris Rock feel stupid at times when it comes to our choice and material. All right, great topic. That’s why I’m interested, Kevin says. We have watched Dave in our earlier stages of just working on our set.

We would spend time at the seller and one would come and we would all go and Dave would go up, and me and Chris had just went up and we were happy about our material. That’s the sentence that isn’t working for my brain. Kevin continued. There’s been times where we’ve looked at each other and we bought our papers up and said we got to start over. We got to start over, not because if jealousy or envy, because we challenge each other.

We want the best for not only each other, but for ourselves. Love it. Kevin was on Jay Shetty’s pod and he said, the biggest drug, it’s not cocaine, it’s not heroin, it’s fame. Anything you want, everything you want, it’s the thing. And if an analyst thing, the consequences attached or severe, you know you undre you okay with you?

If you’re not, it’ll break you. By the way, for Monday show, I’ve got a bizarre Kevin Hart story for you. Ricky Gervais has shared his quotes frustration after fans were turned away from his show in York the other night. Why Apparently they had purchased tickets from resale site via go Go. Hundreds of fans reportedly refused entry to see Ricky Gervais after duplicate tickets the previous evening led to overbooking.

Oh. Maxine Gordon was a reporter for The York Press and was quoted by the York Press. Maxine said, when me and my husband turned up at the York Barbican, that’s the theater at seven twenty for the seven thirty show, there were hundreds of people still queuing to get in. Well time out get there a little earlier, man, what are you doing? There were still hundreds of people queuing to get in, as well as a very long queue for the box office, again unusual.

I thought the delay was because they were being extra thorough checking bags, but as we got nearer the entrance, the bouncers and ticketing staff were shouting that they were only accepting Ticketmaster tickets and not via go go, which are the tickets from a resale site. Lots of people are asked to leave as my ticket was checked. I asked, what’s going on? I was told the night before lots of people are turned up with via go go tickets, but duplicates, all for the same seats, so they weren’t accepting any last night. Ricky Gervais, who said that particular gig was his favorite of the tour, told angry fans he didn’t know anything about it until after the show.

He said, I’ve sent all this to the promoter at Live Nation. He’s looking into it. I have no idea why this happened tonight. Apparently in the past, comedians Stuart Lee and Tim Minchin have previously denounced Via Go Go for artificially inflating ticket prices and ripping off fans. In twenty twenty one, Tim reportedly called them cheating scumbags.

It’s being a Ricky Gervais. Newsweek took a look at Drug Carmichael versus Ricky Gervais fans debate who was better Globes host. They went on social media see what people were tweeting. One tweeter said, Drug Carmichael is a boring host, so much dry and stupid jokes. He’s trying so much to be Ricky Gervais, horrible Golden Globe host.

Ever, I believe that Twitter dropped a word there. It happens, I do it. On the other side, somebody wrote Drug Carmichael is giving a master class and how to evolve what made Ricky Gervais a great host, while maintaining that he’s still punch up. I’m sure the Globes of want to wait to see the ratings, but I’d sign them to a multi year contract if I were them. Well, second tweeter, you’re just wrong.

Drug Carmichael was terrible, and as for those ratings and that multi year deal, you just hand it out. Who How about this headline from the year post woke Golden Globes tanked ratings historic low in twenty twenty three. I’m just gonna keep moving. I don’t know why the Post had to throw a woke in there. I’m here for the ratings.

Six point three million people, according to Nielsen, watched it. For comparison, in twenty twenty one, the broadcast drew six point nine million, while twenty twenty boasted eighteen point three million viewers. Let’s see who hosted those years. The twenty twenty was Ricky Gervais, the twenty twenty one was ten Fa and Amy Poehler. The Golden Globes.

If they want this to be a thing, and NBC wants this to be a thing, back up the truck and get Ricky back in there now, the Daily Mail says. Last year, Ricky Gervais revealed that he told bosses never to ask him again for fear he’d cave in and say yes to hosting. Ricky said, the Golden Globes could offer me ten million for ten minutes work, and I’d be an idiot. I’d be a liar to say I wouldn’t consider it, but at the moment, given I’ve done it five times, it got better and better for me. I enjoyed them all, but it got better, and I’m planning to never do it again.

I’ve asked them not to ask me because I could be persuaded. That’s true. You know it’s not a principle. Good honest answer, Back up the truck. I’m still disappointed Chris Rock isn’t hosting the Oscars.

That was totally the move. Come on, it’s entertaining people. We all want the side show. Let’s all be honest, we all want the sideshow. Chris Rock hosting the Oscars was the move.

HBO Max has dropped the first two episodes of Velma that suddenly showed up yesterday. I don’t think anyone was expecting it from what I’m reading on the interwebs. So this is the Mindy Cave Scooby Doo ish series. It’s like Scooby Doo. My cousin says it’s a prequel.

I guess a couple tweaks. The characters are a little different. We now see the show through the eyes of Velma, voiced by Mindy Kaling. Fred is voiced by Glenn Howarden playing Fred is kind of pompous, white, good looking jackass character. You’ve seen this in movies?

Yes. The one I can’t figure out is Shaggy is now named Norville. That’s like one of those things from the seventies when you’d watch cartoons and you’d be like, wait, why is Mutley now mumbly? Like that kind of thing, like why is Shaggy now Norville? Why can’t he be Shaggy.

Shaggy also has a completely different personality from the trailer that I watched, and it doesn’t do all the zoing stuff. Now you’re like, is there a Scooby Doo? Nope, no dog at all. Pretty good cast. We mentioned Mindy Kaling and Glenn Howard and also Sam Richardson plays Norville, who’s not Shaggy for some reason, Constance who was Daphne.

Other cast Jane Lynch, Wanted Psykes, Russell Peters, Melissa Famero, Stephen Roots, Fortune Feamster in a cal Buyer, and weird Al Yankovic. Are you psyched for the snow Jam Comedy Festival? We’re just a week out January nineteenth through the twenty first snow Jam back in Sioux Falls, South Dakota for its eighth year. It’s mission celebrate comedy and snow while in rision community by supporting nonprofit organizations in South Dakota. This year’s headliners include Jackie Caation and Miss Shannon from Nickelodeon’s nick Mom’s Night Out.

The festival also feature a live Dork Forest podcast recording with Jackie and a special guest. This year, the charity partners of the Compass Center, whose mission is navigating the journey to healing for all affected by sexual, relational and family trauma, and also the Transformation Project, whose mission is to support and e power transgender individuals and their families while educating communities in South Dakota and the surrounding region about gender identity and expression. Nathan Halts, He’s president of the board. He said the festival it started as a joke. Let’s bring people to the best place on earth at the worst time.

Joke was on me. It’s the best thing I’ve ever been part of. Check out the schedule, get some tickets Man Snowjamcomedyfest dot com SnO Jamcomedyfest dot com Snowjamcomedyfest dot com. You got a week January nineteenth to twenty. First get out there.

I’ll be talking about it all next week. This next story comes to us from Gazette dot com and it was a good headline, second cleanest comedian in the States to headline Colorado Springs Comedy Club. And I’m like, I love that second cleanest comedian thing because that gets me curious. Okay, who’s the most clean comedian? You got me?

And I read the article and then I didn’t react well to it because it’s like generic comedian interview. We’re promoting a Mark Masters comedy show. I’ve never met mark I have nothing against some work, but now I’m in comedy snob territory. What’s the show like Mark Masters? The answer, In those travels, I run into a lot of funny situations and comedic things happen.

That’s like every middle tier comedian’s interview ever. Everything from marquane household items to funny family stories of personal stuff about me and my family will make up a Mark Masters comedy show. All right, I could let that go. But another thing you’ll see in all these releases, for like touring comics in Middle America, everybody is always attaching their vague credits. You know, appeared on serious radio meeting Johnny Mack played your record fourteen years ago once or my favorite is the worked with masters, a headliner on the Pro Comedy Tour, has worked with comedians from HBO, Comedy Central, and Netflix.

So have I. And I’m sitting here in the basement. I’m not a stand up, but I have worked with Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White, Jamie Fox, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim gaff Again, Bill Engvall, Larry the Cable Guy. I’ve worked with them all. I’m practically the fifth blue collar no no.

But here’s what really set me off, the part of the article where you kiss up to the town in the club. I love Colorado’s Springs, Olympic City, USA. They’re the best, great audiences. That’s right. Hey, welcome to the stage, Johnny Mack.

Hey, thanks, Let’s give it up for the guy who introduced me. Yay, yay, yay, Hey Colorado Springs, give it up for yourselves. Hey, great, I’ve just done fifteen seconds of the worst stand up you’ve ever heard. Now I’ll go into my proctology bit. Yes, I’m still on my high horse of Andrew Santino.

Yes, I went to the doctor right and he was like, take you off your pants. I was like, whoa, Now I’m not doing that bit. Mark Masters says, I’m thrilled to be back in three East Comedy Club, which is a beautiful space. They get incredible acts, but it’s really an honor to be a headliner. Mark Masters, If you’re listening, I didn’t come to beat up on you at all.

It’s just I’ve seen this article. It’s like comedian mad Libs and I could just plug in. I’ve actually seen this particular person who I’m friends who are friendly with Jim Norton. I’ve seen him and be like, yeah, hey, I’m playing the Chuckle Hutt in Springfield. Chuckle Hut’s a great place.

It’s great stage. Springfields always great crowds. Everybody does that. Why speaking of it? Andrew Santino Whiskey Riff dot Com say it with me.

You’re home for comedy news. They report comedian Andrew Santino, you know the guy who does a rectal exam bit. Nine minutes into his hour on Netflix, that guy, Comedian Andrew Santina recalls Patrick Mahomes drinking the venue out of corps light. Apparently Santina was on Pardon My take, this week and said of Patrick Mahomes, he came for the first show and he was like man, so fff and fun.

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And then he goes all right, well then what he wants us to do now?

And I Andrew Santina was like, I’ll see you. I’m gonna go do the second show. You guys go out fun and I’ll see him whatever. And he’s like, no, I think we’re gonna stay for the second show. I Andrew Santina was like, oh, okay, I left for sure he’d dip in, but he was like, no, I want to stay.

And the server comes up to me and she’s light, that’s your party, right, And I was like, yeah, whatever, I’ll take care of the bill whatever it is. She’s like no, no, no, we’re comping everything anyway. I just want to let you know that we have someone that’s gonna go get more Corps Light because mister Mahomes has finished all the Corps Light. According to Santino, I’m not kidding when I say this, maybe thirteen the first show and maybe ten the second show, and then we went out. I have no knowledge at all about Patrick Mahomes drinking twenty three course lights.

In fact, I’m going to say, it’s possible that it’s not true at all, and this is just a comedian having some fun. I imagine Patrick at home studying the playbook for the playoffs. Let’s stop off at Gossip Corner. Emily Radikowski, Huh. She was on her podcast and was talking about people she’s dated in the past.

You may recall she recently dated Pete Davidson. She didn’t say who she was speaking about, but she said, they’re like, you know, you’re special, you’ve done it, but then they get slowly emasculated and they don’t know what to do with those feelings, and they resent you and they start to tear you down. I’m not sure she said it quite like that, but I liked my dramatic read. A source says, although Radikowski didn’t mention Pete Davidson by name, there’s no doubt who she was referring to. The source says Emily didn’t appreciate being tossed aside, and she’s not one to remain silent about how she feels.

Expect her to have more to say about this in the future. Oh, please do, because I enjoy doing Gossip Corner. Pete Davidson’s mom Amy Waters Davidson has been hoping her son would settle down with quote a nice girl. A source said, Mom would like to see him settle down and find a nice girl who’s marriage material, not some fame hugging celebrity. Again, I’m not sure.

Amy Waters Davidson said it exactly that way. That’s my dramatic recreation. That’s your communy news for today. Follow the show for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, rerevergate your show see tomorrow. Did you hear about the border collie who recycles trash and when he’s out on his walks, or how about the bear that stole so much Chick fil A?

But good News left the salad behind. Hi, I’m Johnny Mack, host of Five Good News Stories. Don’t worry. I have stories about humans too, Like there’s a woman who makes a living because she looks like Jim Carrey. It’s my podcast.

It’s five Good News Stories, Five Good News Stories the number. Five good News Stories twice a week. Five Good News Stories. Oh, and Shamrock shakes her back too. Good News, Five Good New Stories.

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