Month: April 2024

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media before twenty to those who celebrate, I do not hie. I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. D’ll say Sloan commented on the Nike Women’s Olympic uniforms. Have you seen these? If not, the joke will tell you her joke.

This outfit should not be for Team USA Team Brazilian. Absolutely, That’s all you need to know. I did watch Jimmy Carr’s a new special. I liked it. If you like Jimmy Carr, Jimmy Carr did Jimmy Carr Things.

If you don’t like Jimmy Carr, you’re not going to like it. But he did Jimmy Carr things. It’s not his best special by any means, but it did make my top twenty whatever of twenty four. I have it right now at number seven after Dimitri Martin. The Guardian did not like it.

They gave it one star out of either four or five and wrote, it’s hard to cancel someone who doesn’t believe in anything. A moral vacuum lized at the heart of Cars Act. What does he think? Who’s a show so hearing? How many of us jokes?

He laughs at a horribly depressing affectation that was absent from Carr’s early stand up. He’s been doing the laugh at his own jokes for a while now, and I didn’t feel like he did it a lot in this new one. What did catch my eye is I think somebody nailed his shoes to the floor. It’s very late in the special, before he even moves his legs. Go back and look at it.

He just glued to the floor. Now, that might have something to do with the advanced camera work they did. There was some spin around, so I don’t know if there was a dolly or a drone or what they did there, but he did not move and I found that distracting. The Guardian said it would be tempting to say that the target audience for the show is the fifty one year old himself, right, Maybe his lonely hunk is occasionally the only one we hear, like a goose wondering where his friends have gone. I don’t think that review is fair.

He’s just clowning around. Enjoy the special. When I was surfing YouTube, I noticed Triumph showed up at the Trump Court case and was doing his Triumph talks to people in the crowd thing. Not Triumph’s best work, but definitely funny if you want to check that out on YouTube. A bunch of things got announced Thursday and Friday, which is strange but okay.

HBO announced that Nikki Glaser will get her second hour long comedy special. Before I get into that, the HBO specials lately haven’t been good, Like, what was the last good HBO comedy special? Is there a list of HBO comedy specials? Maybe we can looks say. I’m gonna have to work a little bit here on Wikipedia, let me start.

In December we had Gary Goleman. All right, I’ll just stop there. Gary Goleman special in December was great? Were there any good ones in twenty twenty four? On February we had Rory Scovel.

I didn’t think that was good at all, Rommy Yusef and March was. I didn’t like the direction on it. I didn’t watch it. Okay, that’s all we’ve had so far on mag O. And in April we’ve had Alex Edelman’s one.

I forgot to watch that one. I’ll try and get to it. This weekend. Got all busy weekend. Another soccer tournament anyway, Nikki Glaser will be the HBO comedy special in Mayday, May eleventh, at ten o’clock.

I also don’t love that as a time, Netflix on Tuesdays and now Tuesdays just tend not to work out for me, But I think the Tuesdays works well. The Saturday at ten pm is a relic of another time. For example, I often watch TV on Saturday night, but by ten o’clock I’m old, I’m winding down. Maybe it’s a young person’s game. Whereas if the same special came out at I don’t know, eight o’clock, i’d watch it.

In the new special, Nikki Glaser, Someday You’ll Die, Niki tells an audience in Seattle about a wide range of topics no kidding, including why she doesn’t want kids, the harsh realities of aging, her sexual fantasies, and plans for her own death. Let’s listen to some of the trailer before it gets naughty. The other day, I’ve rolled up with like a bunch of suitcases and the ubertiver just pop the trunk and sat in the front seat. I was like, is this the first line of menopause? What’s happening right now?

Comedy Dynamics has announced plans for Tommy Tiernan’s new special tom Foolery that’ll be out April thirtieth. No clip available, but Tommy apparently discusses the duality of human existence being two opposites at the same time. For example, he was almost a priest, but his mind was too dirty. I got to get some Conan show. Conan was asked by the Hollywood Reporter if he has any predictions of how Late Night will evolve.

Conan said, it’s already happening. Gordon Show was replaced with a different format, meaning after midnight, that’s gonna happen more and more. When I got into Late Night in ninety three, I was still dealing with a captive audience. Someone could actively dislike Conan O’Brien, and many did, But if they had insomnia at twelve thirty five am, there were only a couple of choices. I was in people’s bedrooms, whether they wanted me or not.

He jokes, there’s a terrible poll quote. That’s not the case anymore. Everyone has siloed and their political beliefs and their entertainment. An era is definitely over our ending the whole idea of it being called late Night, that’ll probably disappear. It’s all digestible stuff for the Internet, which is better produced and has better stars than a lot of what’s out there.

But at Jimmy Found Jimmy Kimmelo, Stephen Colbert, these are talented people. I don’t feel for them. They asked him about the Jay Leno thing, and he said, enough time has gone by where I can see that it didn’t have much to do with with me. I was standing on a fault line. We kept trying to cut this baby in half, Solomon like, and it wasn’t working.

At that moment. It became about the Internet, which had existed for a while but was completely undervalued by the suits at the time, they were saying, what is going on? How is Conan doing this? I wasn’t doing anything. But if you were certain agent online, you were probably on my side.

I still have people come up to me and say that made me really angry. What happen to you? I’m great someday I look at my Wikipedia entry, but two thousand and nine feels like five hundred years ago to me. You know, A good point sort of made almost made there. How they hung around a little bit with Conan being really good at internet clips.

That may have helped, but they panicked and they should have kept Conan on. I also think NBC was right having Jay Leno on at ten o’clock. You don’t think they’d like to have a j Leno type show on at ten o’clock these days in the current economic climate, right move. You just didn’t stick to your guns. John Cleese was going to get a show on the UK’s Channel four.

Apparently that is not happening. He had announced the project in twenty twenty one, pledging to discover how the impeccable idea of let’s all be kind of people has been developed in some cases at absurdum. This was going to be produced by Jeremy Clarkson’s production company. They still haven’t filmed it. One source close to the show said Channel four could not come to a deal with John Clees.

According to Deadline, Lees also had a show for gb News last year called The Dinosaur Hour that no longer exists as well. ABBY four twenty and Jim Belushi will be one of the fifty plus cannabis industry expert speakers at a convention in Illinois at the end of May. Belushi will be sharing experiences and insights from his journey on becoming a commercial cannabis grower. Gabe Iglesias might be moving to San Antonio. At the end of a recent show down there, he said, there’s no question and there should never be any question about the love I have for the two to ten.

And then he said, I told you earlier tonight I sold my house. The fans cheered, and he said, all I gotta say is I’ll see you at the BUCkies, cass Up Co Corner and on Gusup Corner. Apparently Colin Jost and Pete Davidson having some quote bitter disappointment. You may recall they bought a ferry together for some reason, hoping to turn it into a nightclub, comedy club or something. A friend of Colin Jost and Pete Davidson told the National Inquirer what began as a promising venture has devolved into bitter disappointment, serving as a stark reminder of the perils of mixing business with friendship.

I do a lot of stuff with AI that to me, the language there sounds very very AI to be so maybe the friend just speaks like AI. But the writing pattern of what began as has devolved into is Ai, serving as a stark reminder of the perils of mixing business and friendship. Is the kind of sentence Ai tends to write anyway. While Colin is scrambling to assemble a competent team, Pete seems to have gone a wall or remains to be seen whether their friendship can weather the storm. Wow, we do need to do an intervention for Jim gaff again.

Jim, I’m trying to help you here, but Jim went on his YouTube channel. Here’s another terrible clip. Again. I want people to listen to my podcast. If you can suffer through Jim here, please do.

If not hit thirty seconds, skip a couple times because Jim, this ain’t working. Bro. I have just been shipped the very first bottles of Father Time Bourbon. Let’s see what we got here now. Just occasionally people will leave messages about, hey, when is it going to be available in stores.

It’s not going to be available in stores. This is a limited run. I call it a precious batch just because everything has to do with kids. Here. I got an open has I’m a little nervous, you know what I mean.

I’ve invested a lot of time, and that’s cool. I think that’s very cool. So here’s what it looks like. I really wanted to do something that would be good and be something that would be cool on someone’s bar. Well, you heard it from Jim Gaffigan himself.

He’s hoping that his product will be something cool to be on someone’s bar. Good luck with your project, Jim jeff’sarually in comedy. Dynamics will release Jeff’s debut comedy special Live at the Bomb Shelter that’ll be out on Tuesday, June eleventh. They sent over a clip. Let’s listen.

Here’s something kids would say at this school to make themselves feel better about going to community college. And I heard this from multiple kids. This wasn’t just like one or two students. This was multiple kids would say this. They would be like, hey, man, do you know this is actually regarded as one of the best community colleges in the country.

It’s like according to who, who’s saying that, who’s ranking community colleges? What if they let everyone in? It’s not the best of anything. No one’s watching an NBA gave me and like, yeah, this is incredible, but you know’d be better if they let the fans play. Why don’t they let the fans play?

Why?

Also, this game should take place at NASA Community College, the greatest com…

I was like, yeah, this is really the IVY Leagues for kids who didn’t try in high school. I would say, Hannah bernerd tapes her news special at the l Ray in LA today, and let’s see what’s happening at the comedy festivals, which reminds me. These episodes have been like twenty minutes issh for the last month or so. With Melbourne ending, it’s going to go back to a normal length. So don’t get mad at me if you’ve gotten addicted to really long episodes, because without having, especially this week three festivals to talk about, it will get shorter.

That said, Sydney Comedy Festival starts I think on the twenty five fifth, so we’ll be back to doing that. But for now, let’s take a look at the festivals. Let’s do Moontower first. It is effectively the final day of Moontower. There’s just a podcast taping tomorrow, a robust Saturday night at Moontower.

Wow. I won’t read them all, but let’s do the name ones. Six o’clock stars in bars. At Antones Nightclub features Carmen Christopher, the Sclar Brothers, Drew Lynch and some others.

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Also with six parenting is a joke at the Parker Jazz Club with Fira Eisenberg…

Ronny Chieng plays the Bass Concert Hall at six thirty. The Glow Show at six thirty has a bunch of comedians including at Natalie Palamedes seven o’clock, Sarah Sherman and Chloe Feynman at the Paramount, Shane Torres at seven. Again I’m not reading them all, Todd Barry at eight o’clock, or Shafer at nine thirty. Connor O’Malley gets the yellow box. So what’s the yellow box?

Johnny Mack? There’s some shows they have flagged as headliners, and Connor O’Malley is one of the headliners. Is my comedy radar off? Here is Connor O’Malley secretly huge? What am I missing here?

Ten o’clock the Comedy Jim rosebud Baker at ten thirty, closing night party at eleven and a sketch show at eleven thirty. All right, if we were at moontower. What should we go see on this Saturday night. We’ve seen Sarah before, so let’s do Ronny Chieng at six thirty. That’ll get us to around eight o’clock.

Or so let’s pop into the creek in the cave at eight thirty. We’ll catch whoever we can catch out of Jeremiah Watkins, Cam Patterson, Ciphus Sounds, Rosebud Baker, the Sclar Billers, and Lee’s a trigger. But we’ll leave that early and we’ll go see Arishaffir at nine thirty, unless you want to go see Connor O’Malley, who might be secretly huge and maybe I’m just stupid. I don’t know.

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And then if you want to do a late show, we’ll do the Sketch Show at eleven th…

But have you ever hung out with me? By eleven thirty, I want to go to bed, all right, and get my browser back here. I’m closing that tab forever.

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Meanwhile, in Dubai, I am not familiar with anyone performing tonight, but th…

Let’s see what’s that show is don’t miss the opportunity to see your favorite digital Imarati personalities in the flesh, but in English. So I guess if we were there, we’d go see that one and one last time because of how time zones work. We’ll take a look at the Milburn International Comedy Festival Sunday line up, the final day of the wonderful Melbourne International Comedy Festival. I hope you’ve enjoyed me sharing the festival with you and playing the clips. My big takeaway from doing this every day for a month is the scene down there has a lot of strong women comics, which is awesome.

We got to get some of those performers up here in the States.

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All right, let’s see how many clips I can find for you today.

Henry Zoo’s show is called Zoo Fast, Zoo Furious Love It. The description Henry is back to Hobbes and shy leave audiences in Stitch is as he Tokyo drifts between ludicrous stories and vin Diesel punchlines. Uh, this seems like it’s going to be completely in my wheelhouse. Let’s listen. A wheelhouse was not a pun either.

Oops as well, she’s a nineties younger than me and when I’m almost pregnant. She was like, go and we are made a friend and I thought it was nice as a time she really know was I said? On play dates and extra curricular for eight years. Next single friend, I’m going to make one for you. All right?

That wasn’t bad. I’m not sure it was about Vin Diesel movies, but I enjoyed him. Matt Harvey, No, not the guy from the New York Mets. This is an Australian comedian. His show was called Wage against the Machine.

Let’s listen. The sale of hardcore porn in Australia is illegal still to this day. And uh why that we don’t crack it? Example that you would tight across wine and the mental period. So Matt, the tear is fine.

The clip that you’re sharing, I’ve never seen a clip like this. This looks like somebody has a phone at the back of the club. I’m looking through one, two, three, four, five bodies to see Matt, who is about twice the size of the arrow icon on my Mac. The audio is terrible. I have no idea what Matt Harvey not the Mets picture.

It looks like dude, just I won’t even say higher social media team. But you’re performing the festival I don’t know. Go to the Chucklehet Australia on Tuesday and have your friend sit in the front row and shoot it with a cell phone. I mean, come on, put some work into this, Matt Harvey. What a weird clip you see?

If I can find one more, I think we’ve done just about everybody. David Woodhead’s show was called black and White black spelled blak for reasons unclear to me. The Adelaide advertiser says, watch this space. I suspect we’re watching a future comedy stallwart.

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All right, let’s listen.

Over the past year, I lost sixty kilos, which is nice. It’s a oh thank you, thank you, thank you. Now your first reactions, oh my god, that’s amazing, so much way. But in the back of your head you’re thinking, ah, how fat were you? She’s the thing?

All right. I still identify as a fat dude. The difference is now I’m a fun fat dude. I’m a fun fatty. Where’s a year ago?

I was a sad fat dude. It’s just a sad fatty. Ain’t dead between a fun fatty and a sad fatty, says a fun fatty. If I go into the bar tonight, just have ten shots as tequila. Rip my shirt off like hul Cogan.

You guys would be like, oh, the party started, Big Fat Days. Just swripped his shirt off like you would love it. You would love it if I did that a year ago, though, you guys would be like, parties over Big Fat Days. Just ripped his shirt off and he’s sweating in my beer. This is disgusting.

Someone get this dog a shirt and I would all right. He’s fun. I like his presence a lot. And with that I close out the tab for the Melbourne Comedy Festival again. We’ll do Sydney in a few days.

And that is your comedy news for today. If you enjoyed the program, tell a friend about it. They might like it too, and I’ll meet you back here tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, Johnny Mac and I’m in a silly mood with today’s Daily Comedy News. Today’s a big day. You know what’s out today, don’t you? You know what’s out Taylor Swift’s new album.

Yeah, remember she announced it way back at the Grammys. Taylor attends a lot of award shows. You know. One time, Taylor Swift attended the Golden Globes. Nope, not doing it.

You don’t want me to do it. I’m not doing it. You’re not doing it. You know the big difference between this podcast and the Golden Globes. Taylor Swift’s probably heard of the Golden Globes.

Jimmy Kimmel not happy with former President Trump. Apparently, the President commented on Jimmy Kimmel the other day, said several things that ticked Jimmy off, including suggesting that Jimmy had screwed up an award. Kimmell said, the person who presented the award was al Pacino, not me. We’re different people now. Don’t get me wrong.

I wish I was al Pacino. I’m just not. You think he would know that, because I’m pretty sure that say hello to my little friend is what Trump said to Stormy Daniels. They got him in all this trouble. That is a killer.

Joe Kimmel continued. One of the things that he had a problem with was Trump suggesting the ratings had gone down because of Kimmel, and he said, that’s why they asked me to host again next year, which I wasn’t planning to do, but now I might. Maybe you can watch it on the TV in the rec room at Rikers. The Rikers is a prison in New York City. In case you don’t get the reference.

One more from Kimmel. I guess I should be honored that the former president of the United States took time out of his busy schedule googling Ivanka in bikini to rant about me. Ouch. Trump also visited a bodega. Stephen Colbert explained for non New Yorkers what a bodega is.

And I’m not even sure this is a joke. This is pretty accurate, Colbert said, for my viewers who don’t live in New York, bodega is Spanish for a place where you can get coffee, cigarette, spicy chips you can only get in Uruguay, dusty cans of chef boy or d Jin saying vitality juice that makes your hair feel like it’s screaming. And for some reason, one electric lawnmower up on a high show elf all run by a guy who exclusively calls you big boss boy. He nailed that. Do’ll s Sloan, hosting The Daily Show, said, I’m surprised Trump didn’t hit up the lotto machine while he was at the bodega.

Dudo’s over five hundred million dollars in fines. Can you imagine owing so much money that you have to hit Powerball just to get back to zero? I saw Mark Marin as Jimmy Carr in his podcast. I haven’t listened to that yet. I’m planning on watching Jimmy Carr last night.

In Your Universe. Taylor Tomlinson, who some call the Taylor Swift of comedy, She’s at the Wind tonight and tomorrow. Taylor Thominson says, the win’s incredible, and the theater is incredible, and it feels like a very cool intimate space for being a big theater. Johnny Mack, is this really the top comedy story you slotted this one first? Are you setting something up here?

This story is very suspicious. Why is this the top story? It’s not very interesting that Taylor Thomson is playing the Wind. What’s going on here? Taylor said, as forest place to stay in Vegas, I think Win is number one.

It’s totally different from playing comedy clubs. You feel like you’re in show business for real at the Win, as opposed to some of the rooms I did when I was younger. She talked about her new television show After Midnight said, it’s been everything I wanted it to be. Honestly, I just wanted to work with all these people and grow through the process, learn some new skills. It’s allowed me to meet a lot of comics I’d never met in person.

It’s a really fun time because stand ups don’t usually get to play along and improvise with each other. You know. The big difference between Taylor Tomlinson playing the Win in the Golden Globes at the Wind. They have fewer camera shots of celebrities murdering her career over chokes. Joe Rogan had Neil Brennan on I have to catch up on that as well.

It’ll be my usual pattern of Friday night and Saturday, I’ll play video games and I’ll put my phone on my chest and I’ll listen to all these podcasts. Brennan revealed a sketch he wrote around Shane Gillis. He said, the week Shane got fired, whatever unhired, I thought of a sketch, and I was going to be in New York. I have sort of an open door policy at SNL or I could just write because I wrote there with Dave Chappelle. So I had a sketch idea.

His premise. It’s a couple they’re in bed and they’re like, so, any STDs you want to tell me about and they’re like, no, I’m clean, And then the characters followup question would be any podcasts. Brendan said, it was a good idea. We wrote it. Then it got kind of shelves my understanding with some of the people in the show didn’t appreciate it.

You know, the big difference between The Golden Globes and Joe Rogan’s podcast, Don’t You On Rogan’s show, the most awkward part of the show or the advertisings for mail enhancement supplements. At the Golden Globes, it’s the reaction shots of Taylor Swift, Rob Schneider has been in the news a lot lately, so has Conan O’Brien. That confluence of things has led the Internet to dust off this clip from one of Conan’s television shows. And as you’ll hear, this speaks to me in several ways. During the day, I hit the streets of a like with a sandwich board and try to get people out.

And I was in Denver, Colorado. Denver, Sure, And I says, A guy says, you’re doing a show here. I said, yeah, where the big auditoriumph how you get to play the big auditorium? I said, I’ll tell you. It’s not just me, it’s David’s Faine’ll be there, and and Nick Schwartzen too.

Well. By god, the fella said that from the Sandler movies, they’re fantastic. I’d pay anything. It’s just I don’t have much money. I’m down on my luck.

I says, I can get you tickets. I can get you tickets, sir, He goes, it would be a dream of a lifetime. I said, well, if you think that’s a dream, wait till you hear this. Adam Sandler will be there himself. My god, the guy said, I’ll bring me and my wife two.

Is that all right? I said, sure, I’ll get you two tickets. He says, what time’s the show? I said, it’s at eight o’clock. I said, also, Rob Schneider is there.

He said, eight o’clock’s not good. That’s when the news is up, which reminds me of the time half assed Norm MacDonald hosted The Golden Globes. Remember that one, Yeah, that was a pretty good episode of the Golden Globes. You remember his famous joke, don’t you you know what the big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL is, don’t you at the Golden Gloves if you’re a cava shots of Taylor Swift. Time magazine has released its annual Time one hundred list of the most influential people in the world.

This is the most influential people in the world. I actually didn’t check to see if Taylor Swift is on this list. I’m not doing a bit right now. Let me look she’s not, so that’ll give you a sense of how just insane this list is. Who’s on the list?

Johnny mack Well in comedy. Two comedians are on the Time one hundred list of the most influential people in the world. Okay, these are the most influential people in the world, so you’re probably thinking yourself, Oh, I don’t know, it’s got to be like Dave Schapelle or somebody like wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. You want to sit here for an hour and guess, because you’re never going to guess these two names, are you ready. The two comedians that have made Times one hundred most Influential People in the World include Alex Edelman and Maya Rudolph.

What Alex Edelman was honored by Fleabags Phoebe waller Bridge Phoebe Wrights. Over the past fifteen years, I’ve had the privilege of watching Alex Edelman constantly dazzle audiences and basement clubs, backs of taxis, comedy festivals, friends kitchens, and iconic London theaters. Alex’s ability to hold people in the palma’s hand is otherworldly. Blah blah blah. One of the one hundred most Influential people in the World, a list that does not include Taylor Swift.

Also on the list of the one hundred most Influential people in the world, Maya Rootolph. Yeah, Amy Poehler said, Maya Rootolph is a super talent who is late from within a performing polymath, She’s able to deliver her big laughs and deep emotions at the same time. We all fell in love with her on Saturday Night Live, where her characters so not only funny, they were having fun. Blah blah blah times one hundred most influential people in the world. Yeah, apparently this John Stewart thing isn’t working out the way everyone had hoped.

Late Nighter it sells us. The Daily Show averaged seven hundred and forty two thousand total viewers last week Monday. That’s up eleven percent from the week before. However, Person’s eighteen to forty nine, a demo that I’m sadly not in anymore, only got one hundred and eleven thousand people, down thirteen percent from the previous Monday, which means only US old people are watching John Stewart and I’m not even watching it. I just don’t think of it.

I don’t have Paramount Plus right now. Is it even on Paramount Plus? I guess it is. And I just don’t use the DVR anymore. Just sit down and go what’s on Netflix?

And I stare whatever they put in front of me. Like most people do these days. Let’s take a look at the festivals. Johnny Mack, did you remember to pre load the Melbourne Comedy Festival website? I actually did?

Can you believe it? I actually did, And I promised you yesterday I’d play a bunch of clips. So here are a bunch of clips. Damien Powers show is called not so funny, now is it? The Age gave it four and a half stars, presumably out of five, and said he’s cooked up his best show in half a decade.

Short old set, hilarious, gut punches, remain a marvel to behold, a right high praise there listen from dating again, and my mate’s like, oh, dude, it’s all about personality. Personality, It’s all about personality. Personality is just a defense mechanism that forms from your trauma. My mate’s like, oh, that guy’s easy going. You don’t know why he’s easy going.

He might have been mercilesslly bullied in high school. Kids shoved his head into the toilet and then he had to do a speech in front of the history class and he had a panic attack and everyone ridiculed him after that. Anyway, people say I’m easy going, which I put that on my dating profile. All right, I mean long way for a joke that you saw coming. But all right.

Geraldine Hicky’s show is called that Don’t Tease Me About My Gloves. Winner of the twenty twenty one Melbourne International Company Festival Award for Most Outstanding Show Time Out, says Hickey is a master four stars the age, no comment, but five stars. Let’s listen. I’ve got arthritis and it’s I’m I’m on medication. I’m on meth and anyone else on meth metatrecsay, that’s the one that I’m on, METATRECSA.

That’s the one that I used in chemotherapy. But I’m just microdosing. But before I started taking it, my doctor said, just so you know, you have to lower your alcohol intake when you take this, so you’re only allowed to have two to three standard drinks a week. And I was like, oh, that’s fine. Yeah, that’s about what I have anyway, so yeah, no problem.

Yeah it was. It wasn’t until the next day that I was like, hang on a second, there’s seven days in a week, two three stand drinks a week. Can’t do What if I stuff up when I have the two to three do you know what. You don’t tell me what to do. You don’t tell me how much I can drink.

I’m going to decide how much I’m going to drink. That’s up to me. I’m going to I’m going to have zero, that’s right, zero alcohol for me. I’m going to be sober. Yeah, I’m going to be his thing, I know.

And I could go the other way. Yeah, I could spend maybe ten minutes online and I would find a blog or Reddit comment just going you can drink as much as you want. I’m aware, right, But here’s the thing, I inherently trust the advice of medical professionals. Yeah. Like, for example, if I was an elite athlete, Yeah, and I was given what I was told was vitamin supplements, I would ask no further questions and I would just be thankful for my enhanced performance.

Yeah. I like her. A Loti’s, Geraldine Hickey couple, mister X in there, well crafted set, very very good. Lewis Garnum’s show is called Choosing the Wrong Story to Tell Short. I’ll gave it four stars and says it’s a rich source of edgy jokes.

Theodore travel says, a true artist, how could one man be so funny. I don’t know. Let’s listen. I am. I’m deaf in my left ear.

And when I was a kid, I never realized that headphones don’t distribute equal parts of the song through each headphone. I thought it was the same, it’s just fifty percent volume here, fifty percent there, but it’s stereo sound. Different elements of the song come through each different lyrics. Sometimes I was just walking around listening to my iPod. Honestly, for the first ten years of me hearing it, I only heard the high parts in Bohemian Rhapsody, and everyone was always like, yeah, it’s the greatest song of all time.

I’m like, yeah, but there’s a lot of gaps, Like it’s very good in parts, but it’s just weird how they just galile put something after that. Surely very very good, right, Yeah? I like him allt Lewis Graham choosing the wrong story to tell you do one more. Nick Schiller’s show was called Still Dry Wade, and no one has has reviewed this one. That doesn’t mean it’s not good.

Let’s find out. I found it’s very easy to annoy people who think political correctness has gone too far, like recently I’ve been going to my local golf club telling the members that they can’t say handicap, they have to say golfing accuracy disorder. They do not like it at all. In fact, they regularly ask if I have a mental golfing accuracy disorder. I like golf is to win golf, you have to take the fewest shots, which means the better you are at golf, the less time you spend playing golf.

That’s a nice idea. The better you are at an activity, the less time you spend doing that activity. When you’re really good at something for a very short amount of time, if an activity doesn’t last long, Nash names you’re really good at the activity. The short of the activity loss. The better you are at the activity.

If you finished in three strugs, you’ll like the best, All right? Is that bad? That’s Nick Schiller. I think the writing is better than the delivery. You know, in another universe, I’d love to see that material delivered by Mitch Hedberg or say Dimitri Martin, But that’s Nick Schiller.

If you’re in Dubai, Moe Gill again, that’ll be a good show. Spencer and Vogue, I’m not familiar with them, let me click. The couple welcomes you in for a hilarious evening, which is the curtain on their lives, from Spencer’s obsession with James Blunt to their shared competitiveness that has been the basis of their relationship since they met on the Jump. Somebody in the UK or something that’s like, how do you not know who Spencer and Vogue is? I don’t know who they are?

Another one of those Egyptian shows tonight and Alfred Adrie An two A’s is playing. Got two more days left of that festival and pull up a chair because it’s going to take a minute here to go through moon Tower. Maybe they’ll speed this up a little bit from what I did yesterday. Friday Night at Moontower. Gonna be a big show.

Let me fly through at five thirty, Cheers, Queer’s Billy Sketch Show at six, Industry Showcase at six Roywood, Junior Sugar Sammy and Andrew Schultz seven thirty, The Texans Amos Gill Moontower, eight o’clock Tagget Oh, we didn’t get to see that one yesterday. Todd Barry at eight, Tina Frimmel at eight, Andy Kindler at eight, thirty Stars and Bars, Liza Trigger. Brad Williams at nine thirty, needs to know Stamptown Comedy Store presents Connor, O’melly Moontower All Stars, Sheen and Blair’s Big Rib Rodeo at ten thirty. That Shane Taurus, Natalie Palamini’s on that one. Okay, that’s on the list.

Rosebud Baker at ten thirty and he gosh darned a comedy jam is the late show?

All right, let’s see if you and I were in Austin and we had my magical time t…

Early show. Do we want to do Andrew Schultz or do we want to drink it till late o’clock and go see Todd Berry. Let’s drink it till late o’clock and go see Todd Berry because his recent special was fantastic. That’ll bring us to the second half. Nine thirty.

Brad Williams absolutely, And for a late show, I’d love to see rosebud Baker, but that’s ten thirty. Won’t be able to time travel that much. So we’ll do best of the fest at the Parker Jazz Club with a Feerra Eisenberg and others. My we are getting quite long today. I’ve got so much to tell you about some new albums.

Richard Servat’s new comedy album, And They’re Gonna Know is out. I like his first track. It’s called cool People Go Out on Wednesday. You’ll find that via Blonde Medicine.

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Also from Blonde Medicine, Daniel Van Kirk’s a new comedy special.

You’ll find that out on YouTube. The audio version will be out May third. That one’s called rose Gold, a Midwestern man’s wish that we all stop finding ways to disagree, start high fiving strangers again, and party in Wisconsin. Rose Gold is named for Daniel’s grandmother, Rosemary, who at ninety four years old, is a living example of what it means to just roll with whatever life throws at you. Track seven is called a Winner in Partyville, USA.

Coming out on the twenty third, Comedy Dynamics announced Sarah hester Ross’s a new special, Don’t Mess with a Redhead. Sarah invites you into the life of a TikTok famous woman who doesn’t want babies and leads the stop giving them in microphones movement so that one will be out next week. And that is your comedy news for today. Now, don’t forget to check out the podcast Taylor Swift Today for all the latest news about Taylor Swift. She’s got a new album out today.

And you know, one time, Joe coy neede a terrible, horrible, mean joke about Taylor Swift. It was so bad, I mean, should I play it? I don’t know. Do you want to hear it? You?

Sure? Yeah? Okay? As you know, came on after a football doubleheader. The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL.

On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift. I swear it was just where to go to here? Sorry about that,

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Have you tried sleeping high? I’m Johnny mag with your Daily Comedy News boy. I had nothing yesterday. Today I can tell I have my fastball because I actually slept.

Let’s see, the unionized writers at Sesame workshop are going on strike. I asked the late bot to write some jokes. Late Bot did a good job. Cookie Monsters strike demands are pretty simple. He just wants to change the lyrics to see is for contract.

That’s good enough for me. Oscar the Grouch loves the strike. He’s like more trash talking and refusing to work. This is the happiest day of my life. That’s a good joke.

That’s like quality late Night. I could see Kimmel or Fallon doing that exact joke. Ernie’s bath time has gotten pretty awkward. He keeps inviting his rubber ducky to join the union and seeing bath time is the right time to collectively bargain. That one feels a little Colbert to me.

The Count could not be reached for comment about the strike. He was too busy counting all the reasons Man’s offer was unacceptable. One grievance, two grievance three grievances A a ah, I don’t do a good count actual Late Night Jimmy Kimmel. The Trump campaign pushed back on reports that Trump fell asleep in court. He said that was fake snooze.

That’s terrible but good. Rob Schneider is calling BS on the notion that he bombed in front of the Republicans. This from TMZ. Schneider called the report a hit piece and even labeled it as woke propaganda. Casey missed it.

The report said Schneider was supposed to do a thirty minute show for some Republicans, but organizers cut him off ten minutes into the show because his jokes were too launchy and off color. Rob tells TMZ that he did fifty full minutes and that event Hanchos knew exactly what they were getting into with him. Rob said, I’m not changing my material or apologizing for my jokes to anybody. Enough with the woke BS. America is sick of it.

I did fifty minutes because that’s what I was paid to do. Nobody remove me from stage. Somebody waved to me at the fifty minute mark. He said he took the fifty one thousand dollars he was offered to perform and did so happily, and then slammed the figure as devaluated by twenty six percent over the last three years thanks to Joe Biden. Drod Carmichael told The Breakfast Club, I deeply regret saying anything about Dave Chappelle to the press.

I want to say I’m sorry for that, a non apology say it. Doesn’t regret say anything about Chapelle, he just regrets saying it to the press. Now. Back in twenty twenty two, Carmichael told GQ, and I agree with this and Dave Chappelle, I hope you’re paying attention, Dave. Do you know what comes up when you google your name?

Bro? Your legacy is a bunch of opinions on trans stuff. It’s an odd hill to die on. I agree with Drod there, despite all my coast to coast flying, I’ve not yet caught up with Joe Rogan’s interview with Neil Brennan, but they were discussing SNL. Rogan told it, Neil Brennan and SNL seems like they handicapped themselves, like they’re handicapping themselves less back then, but now for sure.

If you’re on network television, you’re dealing with so many executives. They’re all terrified, and everyone’s scared, and everyone’s ideologically captured. There’s certain things you can’t joke roundabout. It’s like, God, there’s so much ground you can’t cover, and it’s just you handicap yourself. You just handicap yourself.

The real problem is the format is so restrictive, the fact that you have to break for commercials, the fact that you have a specific amount of time, all that you just can’t compete with the Internet because of that, you just can’t. I don’t think SNL’s problem is the commercials, because you can move those around a little bit, and ninety minutes is plenty of time, and you can cut sketches. It’s the network TV part. You can’t curse, you can’t be out there. That’s the big issue that said we’re clean.

Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffigan, Mike pro Biglia for the most part. Brian Reagan Me, that’s right. I’m in the same class as Jeff Foxworthy, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffikin Mike Boerman related humor is actually better than Jim Gaffigan’s. So we’ll get to that in a bit. Conan O’Brien Must Go is finally premiering today on HBO Max Max HBO.

Yes, this is not the long awaited variety show that was a rumor, but finally Conan has made something for HBO. The Wall Street Journal says Conan O’Brien Must Go asks a lot travel show based on a podcast two programming phenomena of which there is certainly no shortage, and the resulting comedy is crazily uneven and profoundly unrehearsed. The av Club said Max’s travel show will delight Coco fans. There will be obligatory food tasting, dress up site gags galore, all the while our hero will wield the full instrument of his pale long form as only he can, to draw laughter a discuss from all who behold him. I’ll check that over the weekend.

David Cross is recruiting his super pals for a star studded show in Central Park Summer Stage at Central Park, New York City, August eighth, all Right, John Who’s playing David Cross, of course, Bob Odenkirk Sour Silverman, Fred Armison, Sean Patton, Zack Zucker, Shane Torres and more to be announced. That’s pretty cool. Tickets go on sale tomorrow at ten am Eastern from Fox, your Home for comedy News. Actor John Leguizamo attacked to Pinata in a fit of rage on Tuesday after learning Donald Trump was gaining support among Latino voters, express dismay, saying, I mean, clearly Trump isn’t making any effort to get Latino voters or make them a priority. But the thing that hurts the most is that his lazy strategy is actually working.

Apparently a leg Waszamo let out a string of curse words in Spanish aimed at Trump while attacking the pinata. Jimmy Carr doing the Rounds promoting as Netflix special I chose not to watch it Tuesday night. I was home in front of the TV and I could not stay awake, so I held off on that. Jimmy Carr said he was close to death when he was diagnosed with meningitis as a child. He was on the podcast Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way, and he said, my first memory is a lumbar pucksher in Limerick in the general hospital.

I was three, and I think I was always told it was very close to death. The doctor sort of went, it’s going to be very painful, and somehow it heard the phrase and I went, you’ve got to be cruel to be kind in a little child’s voice, and I kind of appreciated that thing of life because I was always told, oh, you nearly didn’t make it. He discussed how we would like to die now that he’s older. Jimmy said, I want my kids and the people to love me, to be able to tell a story like, oh, Jimmy died. Funny story.

You flew to South Africa, and he went on one of those great shark cage experiences and he forego the cage. He said, no cage for me. Thanks, I’ll just jump in there with a fish. And I was ravaged by sharks. That would be a way to go.

That was a setup for a shark story. He said. Recently, I was swimming with a friend in Key West and there were sharks in the water and one sort of flipped around. Would be swimming with these small sharks all day, and we slightly misjudged the size of this thing was enormous, and it flipped around and it came at us, and I remember just thinking of the old joke. I don’t have to outrun the bear.

I just have to outrun you. Just swim faster than my mate Henry. Now, we got back on the boat and the guys went, these are just reef sharks and I went, yeah, with the black tip on the fin and they went, oh whoa. Jimmy said, but I think being torn apart by sharks that’s a great story for everyone. Yesterday we did an intervention for Jim Gaffigan.

Ricky Gervase is out howking his vodka and Jim paying attention to Ricky, this is how you do it. Hi, I’m Ricky Gervas and I’m an actor, so I really care about stuff and I want you to care about stuff too. This is Dutch Bond vodka. It’s made from British apples. It tastes great, and the bottle is one hundred percent recyclable, so it helps the environment, which as an actor I really care about.

And it’s the only vodka I drink on the private jet. So Dutch Bond, that’s it. Jim, just do that. Don’t try too hard. Ricky knows we’re in on the joke.

Jimmy trying too hard with that Chris Rock is the voice of a new campaign by the National Basketball Association. You may know them as the NBA. The article I’m cribbing from describes the National Basketball Association as a global sports and media organization. Thanks the campaign is word playoff mode. This gets old pretty fast.

I’ll place some of it so you can get a taste of Chris Rock. Here is playoff Jason a thing? Playoff Jason is not a thing. Okay, Tatum, we all know it’s a thing. Look at the evid, just as playoff Spider’s not a thing.

Blunto Caid, deny it? I mean, is that official? No? No, no, are you serious? Oh?

I see he’s got on it. You get the idea. Mike Ebbs talked about his friendship with Shaquille O’Neill. This was on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Apps told Jimmy Kimmel Shack’s my man, suggesting that Chack is the kind of guy who’d give a Lamborghini to anyone.

Had said, I ain’t give it up on that. I’m keeping that for myself. Earlier in the year, Shack named his favorite comedians. They included Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor Mike Epps. Kate Williams says the article.

I don’t think Kate Williams is correct. I’m gonna guess cant Williams. Is there a comedian Kate Williams. Let’s check who knows? Maybe she’s hilarious comedian Kate Williams.

Enter well, Google said, including results for comedian Kat Williams. But they’ve offered me the opportunity to search only for comedian Kate Williams. Let’s do that, Ah, Kate Williams, stand up comedian. I’m on just Theetonic dot com. This is a fun lark.

Kate Williams is fresh on the UK circuit and she’s coming in hot. Starting out as a flyer with delusions of grandeur, Kate now sells jokes to whoever will listen, and also to the ones who won’t. Now, I’m not finding any comedy by Kate Williams. And when I search for Kate Williams, a lot of stuff comes up from some comedian named Kat Williams who seems to have done some sort of noisy interview a few months ago. Anyway, Shaquille O’Neill’s favorite comedians are Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Mike Epps, Corey Holcom and Kate Williams Little housekeeping.

I do see on people dot com there’s a big article about Olivia Munn discussing her battles with cancer. Mulaney is tangentially mentioned, but it just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that we do here on this podcast while googling Kate Williams for laughs. But if you want to read up on Olivia Munn, you can do that on People. Laura Murley will record her first comedy special. She specializes in set up, punchline jokes and one liner is rather than storytelling.

She admires and is influenced by Mitch Hedberg and Maria Bamford. You can catch her at the Flophouse Comedy Club in Brooklyn tonight. Donald Glover is working on some sort of anime. Not much is known about it. And let’s see what’s happening at the festivals, John, did you preload Melbourne?

Nope? As we’re getting a little long here, I’ll tell you some shows. I won’t pull clips today, Tomorrow I’ll pull a bunch of clips. How about that Blake Pavey, that’s the guy who told you about at the end of yesterday’s show. He’s the one that got into it with the old man, all right.

Blake Bavey is playing the age, says. Pavee’s stand up delicately weaves elements of darkness and light, moving the audience to the brink of tears, before landing a hefty punch line that leaves them in that stitches no clip. But Blake’s show is called Still kick In. Maybe go there and heckle him so you can make the news. Maddy Week’s show is called Never Gonna Die This at storytime Melbourne is a picture of Maddie with a skeleton puppet almost looks Jeff dunham ESQ.

This show will cure everything that’s wrong with you. With one simple payment of fifteen to twenty five Australian dollars, you can become immortal and never experience a bad emotion ever again. Wow, that sounds pretty cool. Beat Magazine calls the show a force to be reckoned with. In the comedy scene, I guess they call Maddy a force to be reckoned with.

The plus Ones says entirely captivating. Squirrel Comedy calls Maddy Weeks a charming and funny young comedian, a great person to spend an hour with. Shane Daniel Burn’s show is called but He’s Gay. That’s a funny title. Award winning Shane Daniel Byrne is Irish Comedy’s new wonder kin in his mid thirties.

Once considered an exciting talent of contemporary performance arreat in Dublin, he messed that up and is now a comedian selling out shows around the UK. David o’darty calls him my favorite new Irish comedian for many years.

Meanwhile, in Dubai, did you see they had so much rain?

Now? I did google Dubai Comedy Festival Rain to see if anything was canceled. Nothing came up, but I do see that the Metro is having issues from all the rain. So if you’re on your way to Zarnagarg’s a Show or Desi Laughs or Stand Up Bell Masery. Those are the three shows today you might want to check on the metro service or to make sure that the show’s actually happening.

Stand Up Bell Masery, Egypt’s first comedy factory is back with Bell Masony. Volume two is showcase of an all star lineup of the finest Egyptian comedians. Belle Mastery, which translates to in Egyptian, will feature some of Egypt’s funnies men and women as they strut their stuff, etc. That’s at the Coca Cola Arena, so it must be a pretty big show. And we’ll finish up with Moontower because that’s going to be pretty robust today.

Oh yeah, pull up a chair. This is going to take me a minute. All right, six o’clock, Ian Carmel and Friends. Six point thirty Natalie Palamedes. I don’t care what comes up, and I see what just came up.

We’re going to see Natalie. I think she’s fantastic, which means Johnny Mack is making you miss Mark Maron at seven o’clock. Now. I love Maren. You guys know I love Maren.

But we can see Maren on Netflix. I guess we could see Natalie on Netflix as well. Her last special was on Netflix and it’s fantastic. But I would want to go see Natalie. Seven o’clock, New York’s Finest seven o’clock.

Moontower, A mystery show. Seven o’clock. James a Domian boy. He’s great too, A lot of great choices seven o’clock. Celebrity Memoir book Club seven thirty hit list.

Any names you would know, they’re most likely not Britannic at seven thirty. I always love seeing shows like that. The joke of painting Andy Kindler On that one, there’s a logo that makes you think of Bob Ross, but is clearly legally distinct. Let’s see what this show is. Imagine if art Icon Bob Ross taught one of those wine fueled ladies’ night painting classes.

Now imagine we’ve replaced Bob Ross with a few comedians. Okay, that sounds like a good time. But we’re at Natalie Palamedia’s show eight o’clock. Oh, this is so good too. Tag it at the Creek of the Cave.

Sclar Brothers, Todd Barry Rosebud Baker, Jeremiah Watkins, Chloe Trost, Liza trigger Does. Sclar Brothers invite their hilarious friends to do sets while they sit off stage writing tags to pitch the comics on stage. Oh, what a great thing. I might have to cheat here and see if Natalie’s playing tomorrow. She’s not.

These are some great shows. Lucas Zelnick at eight o’clock. Sarah Schaeffer at eight thirty. Hypothetically we saw her yesterday. Olivia Flood wall Ily at eight thirty two Dykes and a Mic.

I love these titles. Nine o’clock Stars in Bars. The stars include Sam Jay, Shane Torres, Drew Lynch, James Domian and some others. At nine o’clock The Canadians of Comedy, Miss Patt at nine thirty, Stamptown nine thirty, Surrounded nine thirty, Andy Kindler at nine thirty, Rachel Feinstein nine thirty, Killers, ten thirty, Unzipped at eleven Best of the Fest after Party, and the gosh Darn Comedy Jam at eleven thirty. That’s always a good show, all right, We’re doing Natalie at six thirty.

You’re just gonna have to trust me on this, So let’s assume an hour and a half there, so we’ll be free around eight when you and I pretend to go to comedy festivals. Don’t forget we have magic time traveling ability where we can get across town in five seconds. So let’s see at eight o’clock we’ve seen Sarah Schaeffer already. Hmm, should we wait to nine o’clock? Want to do Canadians of comedy you want to do Rachel Kindler’s gotten a little negative for me, especially on Twitter.

Let’s do Canadians of Comedy and then let’s do the gosh darn Comedy Jam at eleven thirty tomorrow is very robust as well. And that is your comedy news for today. Hey, don’t forget. I also host five Good News Stories, Number five Good News Stories. Apple has been promoting that for three weeks, so that thing took off.

Thank you Apple Podcast. All right, see you tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello Johnny mag with your Daily Comedy News. According to Politico, Rob Schneider was cut off ten minutes into a half hour set at a Republican networking holiday event. This happened last year. I don’t know why we’re just finding out about it now, but apparently Rob Schneider’s material was two offensive, other descriptions raunchy, racist, gross, and vulgar.

Senator Cindy Hyde Smith walked out of the performance. Her spokesperson said she didn’t have to listen to it, so she got up and left. Apparently some of the other jokes were aimed at Asian people unquote, including one about quote Korean whorehouses. All one hundred and fifty attendees, which included more than forty Senate chiefs of staff, were told received an apology for organizers the next day, which read, this is great. While we do our best to ensure every aspect of our program is professional, courteous, and appropriate, we sincerely regret that the entertainment last night’s program fell short of that goal.

What did they think Schneider was going to do? The Senate Working Group, the organization that held the event, claimed that Schneider broke a verbal agreement to keep his set relatively clean.

Meanwhile, Gerrod Carmichael, who I’m just not interested in, is ready to set…

Recently, he was on The Breakfast Club. He told Charlemagne the God, you played a clip of my stand up, but it started the punchline, and it like completely erased the setup of it. I really don’t like that. It made it seem like I’m in some type of race sexual slavery roleplay with my boyfriend, which is untrue. It’s so false, and I expect that type of thing from TMZ because they have no humanity.

They don’t care about the people that get hurt when they report these sorts of things. But you’re a friend, Charlamaine said when he played the clip was the only part of the episode he had seen. Carmichael said, yeah, but I need you to watch the show, and anybody watches the show knows it’s not what I said. It’s so false, it’s so untrue. I don’t like that because it’s like it has nothing to do with my boyfriend, has nothing to do with the sex that we have, is nothing to do with It’s something that people have been reporting on I really really don’t like it, Carmichael explain in context, the joke is about my boyfriend reading so much that he makes me feel insecure about my level of reading.

I sometimes joke to him that our relationship is like that of a slave and a master’s son who teaches me how to read by candlelight. The gist of the joke is that Carmichael buys a lot of books but never actually reads them. From Late Night or a great website you should check out. SNL almost brought back Keenan Thompson’s OJ Simpson this week, and you may have heard that OJ Simpson passed away. Late Nighter says The sketch got as far as dress rehearsal, but they decided not to include it a weekend update.

According to people who were at the dress rehearsal, Thompson has OJ dressed as an angel, complete with a halo above his head, telling Colin Jos about his new life in heaven. As the bit progressed, it became clear that OJ is in hell but doesn’t realize it. He describes seeing great food everywhere, but it turning into dust whenever he tries to eat it. He says he went back to the physical shape he was as a pro football player, but whenever he tries to score, he’s off by a yard and has to return to the other end of the field. Colin Jos then suggested OJ’s actually in hell keenan as OJ protested, asking if he’s in hell, why are his lawyers here too.

Another joke saw Simpson removing his black leather glove, only for it to reappear on his hand. Seems like Collette Fountain, who writes for The Daily Beast, does not enjoy Jimmy Carr the way I do the headline on The Daily Beast byline by Collett Fountain, Jimmy Carr really needs you to know how quote unquote edgy he is. In his latest Netflix special, the British comic goes out of his way to warn viewers that he might get canceled. It’s exhausting. I don’t think you understand Jimmy’s act.

He’s been doing that since before cancel became a term associated with comedy. He has always done that. That is what the act is. He has always done the a you can’t say this thing, and then he pushes it and pushes it to illustrate it. That’s what the act is.

If you don’t like the act, that’s fine, But that would be like somebody doing twenty minutes complaining that Adam Saylor movies are stupid. That person doesn’t understand what an Adam sailor will. Wait. I like Jimmy car lot, I haven’t seen the special yet, clude Fountain writes. If you miss the trailers or his Instagram post in which he prehemptively apologizes to insert a grieve party name here, don’t worry, because Car drives the point home.

The second especial begins, opening with people say, you can’t choke about anything these days. Watch me now. The comic goes on to use a litany of buzzwords associated with anti woke, miss jokes that might get me canceled, and a segment of deliberately controversial jokes ensure that Car’s agenda is not lost in translation. Again, that’s what a Jimmy Carr special is. If telling himself that his critics are part of the zombified Wocladi mob helps Car maintain his ignorance to the consequence of his comedy, that so be it.

We all need to find a way to sleep at Night whatever. Kevin Hard announced a tour. It is called Acting My Age. I believe he had been a sort of touring under in progress or work in progress or next act in progress. Anyway, it’s got a name now my Age.

I know this was starting on Long Island. I’ll also play Seattle, Portland, Houston, Oakland, at Boston, Philly, some other places, including the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival in Edmonton July twelfth through the fourteenth. I thought this one was interesting. This also from Late Nighter. They noticed that the Conan O’Brien profile and the Holliad reporter mentions that Team Coco slate includes a show staring Cheers co stars Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson.

Here let me read it. Seeing that, I’ll comment. The show’s description teases the podcast is a chance to reconnect both with each other and the amazing friends that they’ve each met over the decades. That is, when Ted can get a hold of Woody. It’s not a straight Cheers rewatch.

Danson has suggested that Cheers will be a topic of conversation, and he says of Woody, we don’t really know each other after thirty years of not being together every day, so we’re catching up with each other. The truth is we’re having a ball. So in a previous life, this podcast was pitched to me and the other people in the room. We all looked at each other and to us, I think this was during the pandemic. It just sounded like an agent fishing for money, and our vibe was Neither Ted nor Woody actually wanted to do a podcast.

They just wanted to get paid to do a podcast. That version of the pitch also was not a Cheers rewatch. We didn’t develop it. Good luck serious XM. Roots of Comedy with Jesus Treyho is a new comedy documentary series hailing from PBS So Cal.

This will stream on the PBS app May twenty fourth. The series follows Mexican American comedian and host Hazus Trejo as he embarks on a journey to tell the stories behind the laughs. He visits six US regions, including La Denver, and Portland, where he meets six rising comedians. That sounds like it could be pretty cool, right If you don’t want to stream it on May twenty fourth, it will air on PBS stations on June twenty first at ten Eastern if you want to add that to your calendar. BT has added to the twenty twenty four Beet Experience.

It’s a late night comedy series that will debut at this year’s event at the Miracle Theater in LA hosted each night by Chris Spencer and Friends. Gribbed as a unique blend of comedic brilliance and cultural relevance from today’s hottest comedians. June twenty sixty to twenty eighth. Tiffany Hattish and Michael Blaxon will headline on Thursday and Friday. The Wednesday night headliner TBD Lily Tomlins.

This is a recording became the thirteenth comedy album and the first by woman to be inducted into the National Recording Registry. The other albums are Tom Lair’s Songs by Tom Lair from nineteen fifty three, Mort Sahl’s At Sunset from nineteen fifty eight, Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks Two Thousand Years with Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks from nineteen sixty, Bob Newhart’s The Button Down Mind of Bob Newhart nineteen sixty. Stan Freiberg Presents the United States of America nineteen sixty one, Vaughan Maters The First Family in nineteen sixty two, Bill Cosby, I started out as a child nineteen sixty four, Fire Signed Theaters. Don’t crush that Dwarf, Hand me the pliers nineteen seventy. Boy, these are all ancient records.

George Carlin’s Class Clown nineteen seventy two sounds modern, but that’s fifty years ago now. Groucho Marks an Evening with Grouchow from nineteen seventy two. What’s that? This was a double album by the witty TV and film comedian. It’s all I can tell you about it.

Don’t have any more details on that. I guess I could look that up. Let’s look that up. See a one man show by grouch Show edited from three separate performances at New York’s Carnegie Hall, someplace in Iowa, and somewhere in San Francisco. Still not much to tail on it.

Moving on, Richard Pryors Wanted from nineteen seventy eight and Steve Martin’s A Wild and Crazy Guy from nineteen seventy eight. I don’t know. Do things have to be forty years old to get on this list? I don’t know. So I am off my game today.

I am stumbling left and right, and I have had to make a million edits because I flew red Eye from Los Angeles. Can I just ask everyone please please stop flying red Eyes with babies. I feel like one hundred percent of the red Eyes I take. Somebody brings a baby, the baby’s gonna scream the whole flight. Now, the whole point of a red eye is we’re trying to sleep.

Everyone knows what a red eye is. Accept these people with the babies. What are you doing so roughnight? I’m half asleep. Let’s see.

In La the National Donuts chain had cinnamon vanilla ice coffee that was pretty good. And I was at the Green Coffee place that Kenny, who was one of the supporters of the show, always encourages me to visit, and I was at a particular location that I associate my mind with Kenny. Kenny, hope you’re doing well out there. If you enjoy the show, you can buy me a coffee. And buy me a coffee.

Dot com slash Daily Comedy News. You can’t buy Glenna beer because we’re not doing trivia. It’s volleyball season, that’s right. Tonight is the season opener of Beach Volleyball. Oh, I forgot I had added this to today’s counter.

Okay, we have to do an intervention. This intervention is for Jim Gaffigan. This clip I’m going to play from Jim Gaffigan hawking his new bourbon is really, really terrible. I suggest, even though this is my podcast, I suggest you hit thirty second skip because this is really really better. You prepared.

We need to get to Jim and tell him to cut this out because this is no working gym Gaffigan here. Let’s listen. There are these trends in the bourbon industry, like, oh, our bourbon was on a ship at sea. You’re not going to get a toy. Sorry, we don’t do that here at Father Time.

But I do give each barrel a pep talk, and since I am a qualified life coach, it’s pretty important and I think you can taste it. No, you’re doing great, You are doing great. You are not you are not swelling. What happens often is there’s a moment of story time. Once upon a time there was a barrel named Bennie, and well, Benny he was a fifteen year old seventy five twenty three eighteen ten mash pumps.

Yes, he was a four grain and well he had always dreamed of after he was turned into father time Bourbon, that he would go over Niagara Falls. It’s a true story, Jim bro Stop it’s not working at all. Just come on and go. Hey, Schim Gaffigan, I have anuw Bourbon. I hope you like it.

Stop with whatever you’re doing, it is not working. Let’s take a look at the festivals. If you’re in Dubai and go see a Mayor’s Zar today. Amyer Zars is a comedic journey through being Palestinian and Arab in today’s times. That’s probably a very very interesting show.

Moontower tonight. I like this title. Cheers Queers. That’s at the Creek in the Cave at six, The State at seven o’clock, Tim Robinson at seven, Stars in Bars. Some of these stars include Joel, Nicole Johnson, Let’s see Andy Kindler, Sam Jay, James Adomian, Ian Carmel, Shane Torres.

That’s a nice little show. Need to Know at seven o’clock. Eastmo at seven and the Texans at seven point thirty, Cam Patterson at seven thirty. Comedy Confidential seven thirty Sam Jay at eight, Drew Lynch at eight, Sarah Schaeffer at eight thirty. She’s Fantastic, Mary Radzinski at eight thirty.

New York’s Finest nine o’clock, The Internationals nine o’clock, Ken Flora is nine to thirty, Boy Moon Tower is Busy Night, huh rough Cut at nine thirty, Stamptown at nine thirty, Surrounded at nine thirty. Best of the Fest at ten on Zip ten thirty, Avery Pearson at eleven, and the after party at eleven. Okay, Let’s do Cheers Queers at six. That’ll take us about seven thirty. Let’s do Let’s grab a beer, and then let’s do Sarah Shaeffer at eight thirty.

That’ll take us to ten or so, so we can probably catch a late show. Let’s do the eighty eight show with Avery Pearson.

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Also on that show Carmen Christopher, Jeremiah Watkins, Andy Haynes, Cipher S…

No, I didn’t preload the site. What are you crazy? I’m not pulling clips because it can barely speak today. I need a nap. Let’s se here’s A show called two Minutes to Kill features fifteen comedians giving you two minutes of their funniest jokes.

Three hosts choose their favorite acts, and you, the audience, gets to choose who closes out the show with more jokes. That’s a good time, all right, let’s do that one. Two minutes to Kill. Let’s find one more, and then I’m gonna take a nap. Here’s one called Comedy Out West, a night filled with comedy not quite raw, more medium to well done, as local and imported comedians assemble in the West to ballot out for the all important audience vote.

All right, it’s a voting night. Let’s do those two shows. May Plannert is recording her new special at the Grove thirty four in a Storia. Mark Normand is producing it. Caro Burnett will get another Lifetime Achievement award, this one from the Greasy Awards in Beverly Hills on May twenty first, and Olivia with this, an Australian comedian has bored anyone over the age of eighty five from his stand up shows after getting into some words with an elderly crowd member, Blake Pavey shared a video from a recent show.

His opener got into it with a man in the audience who was heckling in with barbs like I wish you had some talent and say something funny. Mate. The opener shot back and said, is property not enough for you? They have to come and ruin my night. Pavey then took the stage for his sets and got into it with the older gentleman and said, how does the oldest seaword here have the lowest IQ yelled out, I’m still waiting to laugh.

Payvee said, on American being an entitled seaword, What a shacker. The man got up from his seat and went to leave. Payvee clocked it and joked, sorry, I’m trying to listen, but we have a dementia patient in the room. The man yelled back, I’m still waiting to laugh. The man then said I wish you were funny, mate.

Pavey said, I wish you weren’t a sea word, but we can’t all have what we want. Oh okay, there was probably a better version of me telling that story if I’m awake, but I am not stop taking babies on red eyes. See tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Chinny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Some leftover chokes from late night last week. You saw the whole thing with the abortion debate in Arizona. Seth Meyers said, eighteen sixty four.

Was anybody even there yet? What was this their first law? After don’t shoot the piano player. That’s a great joke, Colbert. The law is so old that it predates the invention of the cowboy hat, the urinal, the paper clip, and the machine that makes paper bags.

Should we really be enforcing laws from an era where the cutting edge tech was bag. Michael Costa commented on Trump’s repeated lie that Democrats want abortions to happen post birth. Cossa said, come on, dude, Democrats don’t execute babies after birth. They send them to Hillary so she can harvest their organs. Kimmel on a totally different topic, of course.

The cherry tree is the basis for one of our nation’s most cherished, untrue stories about a young George Washington who used his new hatchet to chop down his father’s cherry tree. When his father asked, did you do this, he replied, no, it’s a total witch hunt, which is great, great joke. Ralph Barbosa is going to have a featured spot at the upcoming Netflix as a Joke Festival. Ralph will host something called Introducing Dot Dot, a showcase highlighting emerging comics. This will be at the Vermont Hollywood in La on May one.

Some of the comedians include Glorillis Mora, Rene Vaka, Alec Flynn, Ashima Franklin, Dylan Carlino, Kill Creepe, and Mondal all caps. I’m not familiar with any of them, which is great. I think it’s great that Netflix is spotlighting eight comedians or so whose names I haven’t even seen after prepping this show every day for almost five years. That’s awesome. Good job Netflix.

Emma San was curious about Dusty Sleigh and how he’ll break apart at country songs does He said, I can’t stop doing it. His famous routine makes fun of Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffetts. It’s five o’clock somewhere. Slay takes exception with the line it’s only half best twelve, but I don’t care. It’s five o’clock somewhere, says, and I’m like, well that’s not true.

You know, maybe five point thirty somewhere, but we don’t lose half an hour just because you change time zones. Well, now I realized that Newfoundland, Canada actually does have a half hour time zone. Sounds like Sleigh has fried his brain. He said, I can’t just enjoy myself reading a children’s book. Now he questions the logical stories like Humpty Dumpty.

If he’s so fragile, why did they let him sit on the wall. Then all of a sudden, here come the horses and they’re like, oh, we’ll help.

And now we’re like, oh, we got a lot more pieces.

That’s great. The Cider spoke to Neil Brennan. They asked Neil if we’re supposed to think of comedians as civic leader. As Neil said, it should be like the stress release and a ballast to the punishment of life. It should be fun.

So this idea obviously like Carlin he’s a poet and all that he’s a drug addict, Louis c. K philosopher King, go on, all this stuff of exalting people. It’s like, cut it out. No one can live up to this. And it’s also incredibly childish that you need another person to do that when you can.

So that’s my feeling about all this stuff. It’s like it’s childish. I get it, I understand it, I understand how it happened, et cetera. But like the Supreme Court has no credibility. But so all right, Rogan and Chappelle step up what Clarence Thomas has given RVs, but expect more from you clown.

Decider said, well, isn’t that John Oliver’s fault for becoming an Emmy winning voice for calling us to action? Neil said, he’s a consumer advocate, but he didn’t move to Maraga to become a consumer advocate. I think he kind of fell into it. No one can win Gandhi e racist? Should I go on Martin Luther, King Philanderer?

And then you get assassinated? Desider said, so, I guess I won’t ask your thoughts on Palestine. Neil said, you don’t want to know? Yes, also, who cares? And I would hugely disappoint you, but I’m not going to say which direction.

Mark Maron has been cast in Owen Wilson’s upcoming Apple TV Plus golf comedy. Owen Wilson plays Price k Hill and Over the Hill ex pro golfer whose career was derailed prematurely twenty years ago. Mark Maren will play Mits Pryce’s best friend and former caddie. Ten Episodes. Ay Chris Farley biopic is in the works.

Josh Gadd set to direct. I thought he’d actually be good as Chris Fourley. The film will adapt the best selling biography The Chris Farley Show Up, a biography in three acts by Tom Farley Junior. Lorne Myias is producing, so that’ll definitely get made. Paul Walter Hauser will play Chris Farley.

Leanne Morgan’s new book is called What in the World And It came out of asking just that, Leanne tells people the book is a celebration of my wild ride from a child growing up in rural Tennessee to one of the top touring comedians in the country. I shared all, from the many mistakes to the triumphs my story as a testament to the fact that it’s never too late, should never give up any importance of embracing it all with laughter and love. In Mumbai, a restaurant owner and his five staffers were booked for writing after they allegedly threw eggs at comedian Mumoir for Rookie. Sources say the accused had invited Ferruki to their restaurant, but he went to another eatery nearby, so they threw eggs at him. The bitispit between the Golden Dog in thefel on the Golden Bloats.

We have few WK cam shots of Taylor Swift. You enjoy what I do here, you can go to buy meacoffee dot COM’s last Daily Comedy News. The parking lot at the Donuts chain has been packed lately, and I park on the side. People have figured out that side parking is actually the move, and now I can’t even park on the side. It’s really annoying.

Taking a look at the comedy festivals. One show in Dubai tonight. It’s Christa Stefano at Moontower seven o’clock. Amy Sidaris seven o’clock, Josh Johnson eight o’clock. Ken Floor is nine thirty Kathy Griffin nine thirtymo.

I’ve heard a lot about Ismo. Let’s make him the late show early on. Amy Sidaris, Josh Johnson, Ken Flores. I don’t know anything about Ken. Let me click on this.

Ken Flora is Chicago based stand up comedian, a raising star in comedy thanks to his hilarious TikTok and Instagram reels. Hmmm, I kind of want to do that show. I like seeing people I haven’t seen before. All Right, we’ll do Ken floor As at eight and then we’ll do Eastmo at nine thirty.

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Meanwhile, in Melbourne, it’s another one of those random days where instead …

That makes it confusing for me. All Right, Aaron Goarx. I hope I’m saying his name right. He has a recreation of the classic late night TV format ala Letterman, Leno, Conan, Course and et cetera. Well, that’s in my wheelhouse.

Let’s take a listen to this. So I’m a dad. Is there any dads out there? I’m not the only one who’s ruined my life? No, right, they’re not too bad.

I love them a lot, actually, but they’re quite mischievous. I’ve got two daughters. Their ages are six and eight, and they’re quite mischievous. They run through the house a lot, and I’m always saving them, like slow down, bloody Elle, slow down, watch where you’re going, you know, because I’m worried about them, but they don’t listen. They just keep on doing it, keep on running for the house.

And I’m worried something bad’s gonna happen. And sure enough it did. Just recently happen to my youngest daughter, Katie smacked her head right on the kitchen bench, up a nasty wound, you know. But I did rush her along with the doctor as quick as I could. Well, when I say as quick as I could, I did stop off at Red Rooster on the way, but I didn’t want to be listening to the doctor on her empty stomach.

But the doctor was great. When I got her there, he patched up the injury. He was quite gentle, and he said, look, take the next day off school to rest and recover. That’s what Katie did, and the next day came around. We dropped her off in her classroom, and as I dropped her off, her teachers noticed the injury, and she’s asked Katie what happened.

And Katie, being young, she’s not very confident and quite shy, so she was stumbling a bit. She was like, and I couldn’t just stand back and watch this. I wanted to step in and help her out, so I was like, you bumped your head, Katie. Okay, guy in abasement recording a podcast. That was a long way for an okay joke.

I think there’s some materially in there, but he’s gotta work on his pacing. I mean that was a long clip. You were probably listening to the podcast going, oh my god, John Hook this clip? Were you not? You were?

I almost bailed out of it too, but he got eventually to that punchline. But yeah, you tighten up the writing, man, Get to it, get to it, get to it, Okay. Next up, the Yanka Isamelovski’s show is called Working Girl. She’s here with her third solo stand up show, taking you on a ride through her sixth work career. Uh oh, let’s see how far I can get into this clip before I have to keep it clean.

Let’s listen. The thing is like, I’m bisexual, right and I when it comes to that’s it. That was the entire clip, one second before she started saying things I can’t play for you. I try. Bonnie Tangy’s show is called Lab Meet.

So I recently came out of a long term relationship, right, and I’ve been reading this self help book for breaking up, and in it they say that you got to learn to enjoy spending some time alone again. So they say what you should do is take yourself out on a date. So right, just take yourself to a dinner, movie something like that, just on your own. But I haven’t done it yet. I’m just not going to pay for dinner for myself when I know I’m frigid.

It’s a waste of money. But I don’t actually have a lot of luck with guys, and I don’t really know why. Like, I mean, I know I’m not a supermodel. I know that I’m not like Bondo Beach level hot, but I am bondad Junction hot. I reckon, have you guys been to Bonda Junction lately?

Yeah, it’s not that good. So that’s why that’s funny. So I reckon, parents are way too protective of kids these days, like super overprotective, and like I’m not an expert or anything, like I don’t even have my own kid. It’s not anymore. She’s okay, I’m tempted to critique the pacing, but you know she’s got a deliberate delivery.

So okay, let’s do one more Chloe Pets Show is called if you Can’t Say Anything Nice Now. The cover art here is Chloe giving us the middle finger. So I’m worried that this could be a little naughty, but you know, we’ll try. Let’s listen, fantastic. My name is Chloe.

I’ve al really gigged much in Australia, and I’m sort of worried that some of my cultural references are going to get lost. For example, I’m a lesbian. Do you guys have that here? Fantastic, We’ve got some down the front pink hare I can see. I’m a butch lesbian.

I love butch lesbians, not in a gay way. No, I don’t sleep with butcher women, not because I don’t find them attractive. It’s just logistically very difficult to get two butcher lesbians in the same room together to have sex because we’re just perpetually walking each other home. She’ll get me to my door and I’ll be like, well, I guess I better getting you home that little lady. The little lady in question is one hundred and fifty pound hockey player named Rock.

Very funny. I like her a lot. Fantastic. That is Chloe Pets and I wanted to leave you with this. I saw this on Twitter.

This is from Bossom Yusef. He tweeted this on March twenty first. But when I read it to you, you’ll see why it makes sense. But I really like this, he wrote. Today, I am fifty.

I remember a time when I thought thirty is quite old, forty is really real old, and fifty is one step away from death. Today I am fifty, and it was coming. It was so far, and you had approaching so slow. It creeps up on you bit by bit. And you wake up and you’re fifty.

At the age of twenty. You feel like you’re a ready tired, exhausted. You can’t imagine going on thirty more years like that, and yet you do. You’re there. You wake up and you’re fifty.

Maybe there’s one thing you wish you didn’t leave behind. Youth, Oh youth, What a wasted potential of people still have it? You see, I’m already sounding as a grumpy old man who just turned fifty. You want to hold on or whatever remains of youth you have. You want to look younger.

I feel younger, b younger. The fake humility you pretend to show whenever someone tells you, oh, but you look great for fifty. Rule of thumb. If people start telling you you look good for your age, buddy, you have aged. Imagine someone tells you you look great for twenty, you will punch them in the face.

Today I am fifty, a day that I might have dreaded, seeing wrinkles and furrows on my face, and people close to you trying to convince you to do something for the wrinkles and the gray hair, and they utter the magical words so you can look you know, younger. Yeah, here it is younger, our kryptonide or Achilles heel, our holy grail, our pain, our desires, our needs, our insecurities, our life potion, our happiness, and our grief, all at once. Younger, Well, I am not. I am fifty. I am now more familiar, more friendlier, and even more in tune with these wrinkles and cracks and white hair all at once.

I’ve spent more time with them than anybody else. Time has traced all my life and ease. Why would I erase that? Why would erase me? For the last five years, I plan for my fiftieth birthday photoshoot where it looks so good with lights and professional photography, so i’d hear the praise of not looking my age but for what it’s me.

And I’m fifty. So here is a simple elfie, no filter, no photoshop, no stupid ego trip. Today I am fifty, I am alive, I am here, and I’m very grateful. That’s your comedy needs for today.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Seoannie Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Happy tax day, boy, aren’t you excited? Some jokes from Late Night not about taxes, but Jimmy Kimmel said President Biden condemned that decision in Arizona. He said he wasn’t in favor of the law when they passed it back in eighteen sixty four, and he’s not a fan of it now.

I love that kind of joke because it’s not really about Biden. It’s just a generic old man joke. But it’s so funny. Kimmell again. The porn star hush money trial starts Monday.

That’s today, and with all Trump’s many last minute efforts to delay have failed, his only move left is to have sex with everyone in the courtroom and pay them one hundred and thirty thousand dollars to keep their mouth shut. Jimmy Kimble for a third one. The Biden campaign launched a new program to engage voters in the LGBTQ loss of community. It’s called Out for Biden Harris, which is a collign title, but definitely better than their original slogan, which was I’m a joemo sexual Now have you heard I’m not doing the voice, but have you heard the Norm MacDonald cadence As I took all those pauses. I don’t know if you noticed it.

Hit thirty second? What’s not whatever? The opposite of skip is go back thirty seconds listen to where I took the pauses again. I’m not doing that deliberately, but I’ve been listening to so much of Norm doing OJ Simpson jokes that that kind of pattern is in my head and I keep coming back to. I shared this joke on Friday, but I’m gonna do it again in my half assed Norm McDonald impression because I feel like if Norm was still around, this is the joke we would have gotten.

This is from comedian Robert Burrell. He tweeted this, I’ve already told you this, but I’ll do it in half assed Norm this time. O. J. Simpson’s family announced he died of cancer.

Cancer, on the other hand, has begun looking for the real killer where it was so funny. Here’s another one from Jimmy Fallon. But again, I’m stuck in this Norm cadence. I’ll do it in half ass Norm again. Baseball Superstar Show.

Hey Otani’s ex interpreter has been charged with allegedly stealing over sixteen million dollars from Otani in a gambling scheme or as the interpreter told Otani. They’re saying, I’m innocent. I may have told that one better than Fallon. I don’t know, should I find that joke? Let’s see if I told it better than Fallon.

I’m hitting pause. I’m going digging for that joke. Okay, I found it. Well, listen to this. The Justice Department announced that Baseball Superstar Show Hey, Otani’s ex interpreter has been charged for allegedly stealing over sixteen million dollars from Otani in a gambling scheme, or as the interpreter told Otani.

They’re saying, I’m innocent. You tell me. I think me as Norm was funnier than Fallon as Fallon. Maybe I’m delusionable. Hollywood Reporter did a cover story with Conan O’Brien and they got to it.

Conan. There was talk about a weekly variety show. You know, Conan’s doing this travel thing. He was all over the press last week. Conan said that whole thing cracked me up.

When we were wrapping up the TBS show, there was a pre existing agreement that we would continue on at Max HBO Max then and then I’d figure that port out. When it came out that I was going to be doing a comedy variety show, we didn’t know where that came from. It turned out that someone in the press department had just said something like, ah, yeah, that’s this category for US variety. Suddenly I’m getting contacted by jugglers or writers are calling me up saying, are you gonna be like Dean Martin? No, I was never going to be the seventy fifth person to try and bring back the hour long variety show and have it not work.

See. I think he would be great at that because the acts would be terrible and he would make it funny. Conan, what do you miss most about the nightly gig? Conan said, I missed that band terribly, the way you miss a lost limb. I’m an amateur guitarist, and I got to play with those guys every day.

I got to the point where they had a hard time getting me to rehearse the comedy. I swear to God, if somebody got me a job as a rhythm player and some rockabilly R and B band, I might disappear. What does he miss the least, the volume, the over and over again with multiple guests tonight, and making sure they’ve plugged their project. These shows exist because they’re promotional machines. I always understood that my goal was to make it as creative as possible with everything else.

But over thirty years, he gets to a point where the oil doesn’t get to certain parts of the machine. I started to burn out a little bit. One of the things I love about the podcast is that most people don’t come on to promote. They asked him if he got any advice from Howard Stern when he went over to that place I used to work, and Conan said, I’d be intimidated to call Howard. I’m worried that he’d put me on the air, would be having a really good conversation that he’d asked me, when did you lose your virginity?

Conan was also on CNN a few hours after the news broke that OJ Simpson had died. That was a coincidence, Conan said, I never make a joke about someone the day they passed. It was a huge deal back then. Most notably he’s passed on, but Norm MacDonald one of my best guests of all time in one of the great comedians of all time. He did the most brilliant comedy of anybody during that period.

Tapper asked about the reports that norm acclaimed he was fired because he frequently mocked OJ Simpson while hosting a weekend update. Conan said, yeah, the head of the network at the time was tight with OJ. Anyway, water another bridge Conena doing full on court press was also on Hot Ones. He made fun of HBO Max as I sometimes do. He said, is it HBO Max or just Max?

I can’t get used to it. It’s not a better name. I have a show. It’s on Max. They used to call it HBO, but people found that too popular, so now it’s Max because that really rolls off the tongue and it’s a funny show.

David Letterman in the news. In a new video on Letterman’s YouTube channel, he said, a year or two ago, we realized we had this big hunk of plastic with the late Show sign on it. He didn’t know what to do with it, so they raffled it off for charity. Anybody who donated ten dollars a more to Habitat for Humanity would be entered to win the twenty foot wide sign. The promotion end up raising one hundred and sixteen thousand dollars.

New Jersey resident Helen Halford won the sign, but the real winner turned out to be your uncle, Preston. Halford learned she won, and then she realized she has nowhere to put it twenty foot signs, so she asked her uncle, who owns a one hundred and fifty year old born in Connecticut, if he had won it. He said yeah. Letterman said, I will say the uncle’s property here is lovely, and I feel confident that the sign has found a lovely new home. Now, I want you to pay a lot of attention on this next story.

This from I ninety five Rock. They spoke to Carlos Mencia. Okay, you ready pay attention. I’m gonna do each story twice because I want to make sure you’re paying attention. Carlos Smithcia said, listen, it’s been a crazy year.

I’ve never been busier. All the kids who were between eight and twelve when Mind of Mencia came out or now of age, so they’re coming to see the shows. It’s like a resurgence. It’s been amazing Well’s comedy right now needs voices like mine and tell everybody comedy is meant to be funny. If you don’t get that, get out of here.

Okay, I just want to recap that story. Carlos Smiencia says. All the kids who were between eight and twelve when Mind of Mencia came out are now of age and they’re coming to see the shows. You got that, all right? Write that down.

Now, here’s the second story from I ninety five rock. Wanting to pay attention because I’m gonna go over this twice, Carlos Smencia said, bro, And yesterday I got a phone call from a big hotel in Vegas who was like, hey, we want you to do a residency. Hey, you got that, Carlos Mencia says. A hotel in Vegas wants Carlos Mencia to do a residency. You got that.

You wrote that down? Okay, good, Carlos said. I’m like, I’m already booked every weekend. They were like, no, we want you to do Sunday and Monday and then we’ll grow from there. Carlos said.

I was like, man, I don’t know that I could be doing that. That would be Sunday, Monday, take off, Tuesday, flyout Wednesday, Thursday through Saturday. That’s a bit much, Bruh. Listen. I know my name is Mencia and I’m an immigrant, but I’m not that much of an immigrant, bro.

I’m not working that all hard. I’ve got my papers. You know what I’m saying. You’ve got to give me legal type work. Okay.

Just to want to recap again, people who watched Mind of Mencia are like, Oh, now that we’re old enough, let’s go see Carlos Mencia because we loved Mind of Mencia. And a hotel in Vegas wants Carlos Mencia to do a residency. Just make sure you got that right. Carlos addressed Mencia gate from a million years ago. You may recall Joe Rogan and some others accused Carlos of stealing jokes in the past.

I believe and less undelusional, he admitted to stealing jokes. I think he admitted it to me in the whole way of serious. But my memory may be getting fuzzy. Carlos told a ninety five rock or whatever it was, I wasn’t doing what they said. I wasn’t plagiarizing or anything.

The interesting thing about that is I went up on stage while Joe was on because he said something about me when he was on stage. So he said, hey, this next guy opens up for Carlos Mensteelia. I think that’s what he said. So I went up on stage and I was like, hey, bro, you keep saying I steal jokes. What joke did I ever steal of yours?

To be fair, Carlos Smancy has never stolen any of my jokes. That is true.

Also, you’d have to ask Rogan about his.

Of course, he never had an answer for that because I never stole any jokes from him. He’s never accused me of taking a joke from him. But I said to myself, if one person thinks you’re a D word, that’s one thing. If everybody thinks you’re a D word, everybody’s mad at you for some reason. So okay.

So the defense here is you never stole a joke from Joe Rogan, Carlos said, said, so I had to look into myself and find out what it is that I was doing to these guys to hurt their feelings. Basically, when I found out that is when I was a kid coming up as a comedian, we called it paying your You’d have a spot and you’d get excited, and then all of a sudden, Robin Williams came in and bumped you. All of a sudden, Richard Pryor came in and bumped you. All of a sudden, some celebrity Martin Lawrence came in and bumped you. Dice Clay came in and bumped you.

That’s the way it was. So look, when you get a TV show, then you can do that. So I started working with a guy named Rick Rubin. I assume it’s that Rick Rubin who told me, you gotta go on the road, cultivate this, make this thing yours. You got to go out and really experience life.

I started doing that and I was gone for about five years doing the road. By the time I came back to the comedy Store and I got Mind of Mencia. For those of that you were younger, what Mind of Mencia was was Comedy Central going, oh my god, Chappelle’s not doing another season of Chappelle’s show. What do we got? And they did Mind of Mencia, which was like the Chappelle Show minus the good parts, And I got Mineum, Mansea.

Those kids were the participation trophy kids. I’m really dumping on Cross the one time, maybe I met him twice. He was cool. The new kids where the generation of I don’t want to get hayes to get in the club. I don’t want to have to pay my dues.

I’m on the schedule ready, Why are you guys putting someone else on the schedule. I had to kind of look inside and go, all right, who am I? What am I? I heard a lot of people’s feelings. Is what it is to boil it down?

Are we suggesting here that Joe Rogan and Carlos Mencia are in different generations of comedy? Let’s see, Joe Rogan is fifty six, Carlos Mencia is fifty six. Okay, now I’ve gone to Google and I typed in Carlos Mencia and I started to type in the next word. I got as far as ad and it has autocompleted to Carlos Mencia admits, here’s a clip. The voice you’re about to hear is Carlos Mencia.

Let’s see what he has to say about Carlos Mencia stealing jokes. This is Carlos Mencia discussing whether or not Carlos Mencia steals jokes. A lot of people out there are going to ask why did they interview Carlos about this? You know, Carlos is a joke thief. Carlos steals jokes, and we know this.

And I listen to me and look at me when I tell you this with all honesty. If you think that I steal jokes, yeah, you’re right, of course, I’m still jokes. Are you out of your mind? When I come to a comedy club, you better run, bitch, you better get off stage, because if anything you say is even remotely funny, I’m gonna make it mine. And all I’m gonna do is say Mexican in the front.

I’m like a rapper. I just sampled and make it my own. Was that really my song? I don’t know, but it sounds like mine, but it kind of sounds like somebody else’s. It’s a hit, bitch.

Here’s Carlos Smincia speaking to Bobby Lee and Bobby’s podcast long clip here, and I’m going to make some edits, both for pacing and for language. So how are you feeling now with all the controversy that happened a decade ago. I mean, what’s going on fourteen years ago? Now? Fourteen years ago?

Yeah, I realized, like my absence from the Internet in all those years allowed a narrative to be created that will never change no matter what I do, no matter what I say, no matter how I come about it, of what my perspective is, it just is the way it is. Like There’s nothing I could do about it, and that is a very difficult thing to do for somebody who is a control freak like me. Look, as you know, I’m always thinking about if I do this, then that then one are the ramifications of all this stuff. So my biggest regret is back in those days, you know, when all this stuff happened, was to fight it, not fight it, but to like I’ve recorded all my shows since nineteen ninety three, I don’t have to fight anybody on anything. If somebody comes up to me and says, hey, you’re doing my joke, I could easily go, what joke is it?

When did you tell it? Let me go look, and then if you did it before me, I’ll stop doing it or whatever. It is. Like I’ve always had that, Yeah, but I stayed quiet, and it just got bigger and bigger and bigger, and now it’s just like that’s what it is. But why not skip it?

Ned? Why not do in the beginning just a blanket apology? But I wasn’t see let me get this, understand, understand what happened anytime even to this day, bro, Yeah, somebody says you stole a joke? I go, okay, well what joke was it? Not?

Angry? Like what joke? Dude? I write a lot, you know this, I create a lot of material, some of your act, you know, I mean a little too close to things that have already been established, Like let’s like the Bill Cosby bit. Yeah, I’ve never seen that one, so I know.

By point though, is that it’s so similar? Right? Yeah? Yeah that why not just outwardly say I apologize and then we could just move on from it rather than you constantly defended. But it’s not that I’m defending.

See again, it’s not that I’m defending. I just who do I apologize to? Good job, Bobby Lee there. If you want to seek that one out, I found that on YouTube. Let me just tell you what it’s called.

Bobby. He confronts Carlosmancy about stealing jokes and Joe Rogan, I’ll throw it in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News podcast group Mine. Now we’re getting long, all right? What else can I tell you about? South Park?

Creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are teaming with Kendrick Lamar, a live action comedy that will hit theaters July fourth, twenty twenty five. No details other than Kendrick Lamar and the date. Well, let’s take a look at the comedy festivals here. On Monday, Pretty quiet in Dubai Emma Dumagae, the first Filipina stand up comedian based in Dubai. That’s the only show in Dubai tonight.

Moontower is actually dark. They’re back tomorrow. And in Melbourne, Oliver Coleman’s show is called Goof, winner of the Best Comedy Weekly Award at twenty twenty two Adelaide Fringe. The Adelaide Advertiser said, comic genius catapults to the point of sheer chaos. All right, that’s some high praise.

Let’s listen. I love performing stand up comedy, I do. I love I love stand up right, But at the same time, sometimes I do think, you know, like of all the art forms, right, like music, film, et cetera. It’s just a bit muh, you know, like it’s just a person standing on stage talking into a microphone. Isn’t it like like it’s the art form that most resembles a school assembly.

Isn’t it The fact that’s risen to the level of like popularity in the current culture that it has just blows my mind right? Like you got, you got? You could have done anything tonight, you know, you could have just stayed at home, gone on the internet and watched pretty much whatever you wanted from the whole history of human art and entertainment. But instead you came here to library story time for grown ups to And then the clip abruptly ended. But not bad.

Ben co Chan’s share was called winning smile. Ben’s been keeping his eyes open lately and his nose well and true to the grainstone. He’s trayed to stop looking at his phone as much. He walks down the street, no phone beat mega and says Coachan is a silly guy. Let’s listen slately, naughty here.

Good to see people having a few brew skis nothing wrong with that. I might get a little drink after this. I treat myself to a little virgin Dacrey. That’s right, it’s a normal dacory. But I drink it.

You Belgian alert? I am. You know this is good. I’m very excited. But something bad did happen to me recently.

You guys wouldn’t believe this. Someone told me that my head is too narrow? Can you believe that? And they’ve done it such as myself. I’m the most handsome man in my synagogue and they said that to me.

I couldn’t believe it. I think they may have a point, though, because I think my head might be too narrow, because I went for a massage recently and my head slipped right through that little hole. I went right through. It was brun ole. I’ve got about a happy ending?

What about an upsetting beginning? Now? He came out in shorts? Is that something the zy comedians do. I’m gonna have to have somebody from Australia come on and explain Australian comedy to me.

The shorts thing is really throwing me off.

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All right, let’s find one more today.

It’s so deep into the festival I can’t remember who we’ve done or not. Sam Taunton’s how to tie a tie? I don’t think we’ve done this one. Let’s listen. I’m a big movie fan.

I like watching movies. One of my favorite movies recently it was a movie nineteen seventeen. I’m not sure if anyone saw it. It’s an Academy Award winning movie. It’s about World War One.

It’s so good. I wanted to watch this movie in lockdown, but it wasn’t on any of the streaming services, and I don’t know how to illegally download movies. LimeWire doesn’t exist anymore, so it’s beyond me. So I googled it one day. I was like, nineteen seventeen Academy Award winning World War One movie, How do I watch?

And I ended up on Reddit and this guy’s like, hey, I’ve uploaded the movie for free. Click this link. And I clicked the link and it took me to porn Hub. Yeah. I was like, that’s pretty funny, fair play to this dude.

But then I actually clicked play on the video on porn Hub and I realized that this hero had actually uploaded the entirety of the Academy Award winning World War One movie nineteen seventeen to the popular pornography platform porn Hub because you can just do that, you can. I thought that would stop it. I don’t know why I thought a government or maybe a fact checker at porn Hub. I thought someone was on the back end watching the videos come in, being like this isn’t horny enough for me. Get out of here.

He’s good, good stage presence, good storyteller. Let that clip go a little long and get to the punch. But that’s Sam Taunton and that performance from the twenty twenty two Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala. If you want to look that clip up. Hey, it’s Monday, and for once I’m remembering to tell you that I host the Weekly Comedy Thing on the Live one app.

The app is free, the show is free. On this week’s show, Kyle Knee and Robin Williams, Eugene Merman, Louis Anderson, George Lopez, John Mulaney, Paul Mooney, Chris Rock, Steve Harvey, step Tolev gab Iglesias, Tom Sigora, Larry the Cable Guy, Pete Davidson and Veered Daz. The Weekly Comedy Thing, it’s like this with more comedy, less me. Sounds perfect, doesn’t it. And that’s your comedy news for today.

If you enjoy the program, tell a friend about it. They might like it. To buy me a coffee. Dot com slash Daily Comedy News see tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. I needed to accommodate my travels, so I thought would take a look at Vulture is updated what is the best Adam Sailor movie?

And then they followed up with what is an Adam Sailor movie?

This is by Jesse David Fox, last updated in March. I’ll go first. The best Adam Sadlor movie is clearly uncut. Gems Hustle, the basketball one is second, fifty First Dates is probably third. Wedding singer isn’t bad, the one with the alien he just did, surprisingly not horrible.

Everything else garbage, all right. Vulture starts with number forty seven. There are forty seven Adam Sandler films. You kidding me? This tier is called the bottom.

Nineteen eighty Nine’s Going Overboard Adam’s first movie, if you can even call it a movie, Wilt writes to put it mildly, Sailor’s first film, released a year after graduated from NYU, is an unwatchable piece of crap. Not only is the film amateurish, the crew forgot to bring the box of lenses, so the cinematographer was forced to shoot with the wrong equipment. Sandler’s performance is hardly a diamond in the rough. It’s just rough. What is this calling it?

I want to watch this going overboarder right forty six. The Cobbler twenty fourteen Adams’s worst collaboration with an acclaimed director. What was the Cobbler? After losing his father, a New York cobbler decides to get his life together and tries to find his purpose by magically turning into his customers, which he does by literally walking in their shoes Cheese Bulletproof from nineteen ninety six What Is This? When Damon Wayns hosted SNL in nineteen ninety four, Sandler suggested that they do an action comedy together.

Wayn’s a charming, competent undercover cup and Sandler is a sweet, dim, small time crook who turns on the kingpin slash comedic foil. You know, I’m more interested in this worse tier than even talking about the movies that some people like for some inexplicable reason. At least we can all agree these are terrible. Number forty four Pixels from twenty fifteen, subheading At some point, you get too old to play a Manchild forty three, The Longest Yard from two thousand and five. You know, I don’t hate that one.

I got to remember to add that one to my top tier of Sandler’s. Obviously, the Burt Reynolds one is light ears better. It would be like comparing this podcast we’re listening to today to whatever. The best episode of Late Night with David Letterman NBC version was like, it would be comparing that to that. But I don’t hate the Longest Yard.

They wrote. It feels more like a Vince Vaughn movie that Sandler ended up making simply because he likes sports. Number forty two Just go with It from twenty eleven. Jennifer Aniston in this one, I have no memory of that. Sandler plays a successful plastic surgeon and Jennifer Aniston his assistant.

Forty one Mister Deed’s from two thousand and two. Though the film oddly lacks much Sandler, it does reveal a lot about what’s important to him. Well, I like this review. If you don’t like Adam Sandler, Deed’s is a more watchable movie than many of the films ranked above it. That’s because there’s little Adam Sandler in it.

Oh, I might have to watch this now, Winona writer. Isn’t this thing all right? Then? Maybe I’ll check that one out. Number forty I now pronounce you, Chuck and Larry.

Can we cancel Adam Sandler for making this movie? Vulture rights. This movie sucks and Sandlor sucks in it. Number thirty nine, Men, women and Children from twenty fourteen. I don’t remember this either.

Sandler and Rosemary de Witt, a married couple who each use different parts of the Internet to find people to have affairs with, is absolutely lovely Walture Wrights. I wish director Jason Rightman had just released a short film of their twenty minutes. Specifically, the film includes two of the best dramatic scenes of Sandler’s career. The first is his interaction with the sex worker. I don’t want to see that.

Thirty eight Airheads nineteen ninety four, the first time Sandler’s charm have found its way to the big screen. Thirty seven Bedtime Stories two thousand and eight. I don’t remember that either. I’m reading the paragraphs here. I don’t even know what this movie is about.

Sandler gets to play stupid little character is like a stupid night, a stupid Cowboy and a stupid Spaceman? Isn’t that his entire film resume? All right? New tier, watchable but flawed? Thirty six Rain Over Me.

I don’t remember this either. From two thousand and seven, Sandler plays CHUIRLEYE, the PTSD suffering New Yorker who lost his wife and children. On nine to eleven, The audio got corrupted here? Thirty five is Spaceman? That movie’s okay?

Thirty four Grown Ups from twenty ten busyness gets in the way the fun of seeing friends hang out? Thirty three The Ridiculous six. Vulture writes at this point every movie from here on out I would recommend to a person. Depending on the person, watch high. It’s essentially if the fourteen from Blazing Saddles was an entire movie.

That’s kind of how I feel about Sandler’s films. Thirty two That’s My Boy twenty fourteen, another movie in which Adam Sandler’s character is stuck in his sense of arrested development because of a traumatic experience. Thirty one The do Over from twenty sixteen, What was this? At one point, Sandler gives one of his own f is a favor, then he brings another one of his fingers into the action and gives it a favor. That’s all I need to know about that movie.

Thirty Blended from twenty fourteen, one of the most and least mature of Sandler’s movies, writes Vulture. The maturity is surrounded by some of the absolute worst jokes in any Adam Sandler movie. Now, that’s a pretty high bar for horribleness. Multiple scenes have some side character turning a camera and saying some incredibly hacky line like this stuff just got reel. Twenty nine is Murder Mystery from twenty nineteen Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler.

That’s Netflix enabling Adam Sandler to make terrible films. Twenty eight Murder Mystery two Again, I blame you Netflix, twenty seven Little Nikki from two thousand culture rates ahead of a time movie, and not always in a good way. By two thousand, Adam Sandler was on a roll. Billy Madison began Happy Gilmore. From there he stepped it up.

Made some more money with wedding Singer than Bam the water Boy one hundred and eighty five million dollars worldwide, Big Daddy two hundred and thirty four million, worldwide. What did he use his new found comedy superstardom to do make Little Nikki twenty six Spanglish from two thousand and four. I have no memory whatsoever of this. I’ve read the paragraphs. I have no idea what spanglish is about.

Twenty five Hustle, all right, I like that one. That’s the basketball movie twenty four Jack and Jill. How can you have Jack and Jill ahead of Hustle? My kids, who are now growing up, laughed that I actually banned them from watching this film. All right, that’s the end of the second tier.

Let me take the break here and we’ll come back and we’ll look at, you know, the good Adam Sailor movies. Continuing with vultures. Look at the best Adam Sandler movies. We’re up to their tier, which is called so good. Twenty three, twenty two and twenty one are the three Hotel Transylvanias.

Twenty is Leo. That’s the recent cartoon right nineteen is you are so not Invited to my bot mitzvah, which you know, after extreme casting calls, they look for the best actors and actresses in the world old only all happen to be members of Adam Sandler’s family. Eighteen Hubie Halloween, Netflix, What are you doing to us? Man? Uh?

Seventeen Anger Management from two thousand and three, Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler. You know on paper that should be okay, I guess. Sixteen The Meerwitz Stories from twenty seventeen. Welch writes, will Adam Sandler went in oscar one day watching the Meyerwitz Stories, it sure seems possible. I could see Adam Sandler winning an Oscar because again, I watch things like Uncut Gems and I’m like, you can do it, you just choose not to.

And if Netflix is gonna pay him zillions of dollars for the crap that somebody’s watching, sure, I don’t blame you, Adam Sandler. I really don’t. I just hate your movies. Fifteen Grown Ups two, fourteen, eight Crazy Nights, thirteen, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, twelve, Uncut Gems, Oh twelve. Now I like this subheading, in which he uses all the tools in his acting belt to condemn the idea of Adam Sandler.

Maybe that’s why I love this movie. Eleven Sandy Wexler from twenty seventeen I don’t remember what is that? Sandler plays a manager of Misfit Toys, loosely based on his real life manager, Sandy, So the plot is just him going from one of his friends to the next and laughing in the ridiculous characters they’re doing. Adding the insterstitials featuring more of Sandler’s friends Janine Garoffalo, Judd Appatel, Henry Winkler, Lawn Michaels politely roasting Sandy. The result is the sweetest movie of Sandler’s career that sounds like garbage.

All right, we’re up to the top tier. According to Vulture. Here at number ten, they have fifty first dates. Again, if you want to save an Adam Sandler movie, you put Drew Barrymore in it. Nine Happy Gilmore.

You guys like it? I don’t eight Funny People. Critics suggests the sand Man was just playing himself. Seven The Week of I don’t remember from twenty eighteen? What was this?

A movie in which Adam Sandler plays a father whose daughter is marrying Chris Rock’s son. I have no memory of this. Six The Boy Adam Sandlor at his funniest Five Big Daddy Adam Sensitive side breaks through four Billy Madison, Sandler tries to show his generation how to grow up three Punch Drunk Love. Punch Drunk Love is special because it’s an attempt to actually make an Adam Sandler movie, allowing us to see them through Paul Thomas Anderson’s eyes. The elements of there manchild failing to thrive, a more emotionally mature love interest who helps give him something to shoot for.

Daddy issues a bully. Hell. This film might have even introduced Sandler to the idea of building a vacation in Hawaii into the shooting schedule. All Right, the second best Adam Sandler movie of all time the Wedding Singer. All Right, if we’re gonna rank Adam Sandler movies, I can’t hate on that choice.

So what’s the number one Adam Sandler movie of all time? Click? They’re right, the best quote unquote Adam Sandlor movie. All Right, I’m curious, Walter Wright says, I noted any intro. This piece is predicated on a fundamental distinction.

This is a list of the best Adam Sandler movies, not Adam Sandler’s best movies. I see these things are not one and the same. The latter would suggest a universal idea of what is good and bad. I don’t tend to believe in such a thing, and I don’t think it’s useful criteria for looking at Adam Sandler’s work. A right, this is smarter.

I like this. The former is about treating Adam Sandler movie as a genre onto itself. See Oh Okay, I understand good stuff. You’ll find that on Vulture. Natural Comedy News for today see Tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News Seth Myers with a good one. According to a new survey, half of Americans consider their car to be part of the family, while the other half don’t know what words mean. Ah. Nate Bergatzi taping his next special, All right, This is at the Footprint Center in Phoenix tonight and tomorrow.

Dmitri Martin also taping a special. He’s at the Paramount Theater in Denver, the one in Colorado. If you’re in Lincoln, Nebraska tonight, you might want to check out the professional bull riders. Larry the Cable Guy is sponsoring a very special bull ride. At the end of the event, someone will have the chance to ride Larry’s bull, mister Cooley, for a chance to win ten thousand dollars.

Right, how does this work? Larry the Cable Guy gave a statement and said, I’m super excited to be involved with the PBR and bringing the Bounty Bull to the Lincoln, Nebraska Velocity Tour event. I’ve loved the sport for many years, co owned a few great bulls, one being the two thousand and seven World Champion Bull Chicken on a chain. No, lie, we got the buckle. I want to thank PBR for bringing this event to Lincoln, where we know how to get or done when it comes to bull riding in the Cornhusker State.

I’m excited for fans of the PBR and my hometown fans to watch my bull, mister Cooley start his run at being a legend. All right. PBR Lincoln begins at seven pm Central. I see this press release says CST. That’s probably not true.

It’s probably c DT. That’s one of my pet peeves. People try too hard and they do this standard time, and it’s not standard time. It’s daylight time anyway, seven o’clock probably daylight time. Tonight, all thirty six competing bull riders will get on one bull each in round one.

Then the top ten will advance to the championship round later in the evening for one more out on a chance at the event title. When the dust settles, the winner of PBR Lincoln will then have their chance to attempt mister Kooley Cooley with a K and get. If you’re curious, if the writer reaches the requisite eight. I’m from New York City. I assume that me you stay on the bull for eight seconds.

If the rider reaches the requis at eight, he will end the ten thousand dollars Larry the Cable Guy’s Gitter dun Bounty presented by Morgan and Morgan, America’s largest injury law firm. Men’s Health spoke to Hannibal Burr’s and they were curious that. They said, you do some shows where Hannibal Burrs, the comedian opens for es U two and the musician SU two in his Hannibal’s alter ego. Is there a difference between the two, Hannibal Burr said, I think Hannibal Burs is a little dirker. The comedy has more cynicism in it along with some fun elements.

My music as a fresh energy, so it’s more exciting. I think. He then caught himself. I’m excited doing comedy too, but it’s a different thing. It’s a different level of action, expectation, and responsibility.

Doing music has helped my energy on the stand up stage two, because especially performing with my band, you have to have the energy and performance of somebody worthy of having a band or having that many mfers on stage. Because of that, my comedy is a bit more physical Now I still have my long winded stuff, but it’s tighter points. Because I like writing music. I’m trying to figure out how to say more with less and really just get the most out of a sentence. George Lopez spoke to The Gazette extra Lopez humble has always said.

When you can do stand up on the level that very few comedians have done, and then go into the sitcom, the talk show and now the show with my daughter, all things that are going good, why would he want to change anything in the mix? What about the George Lopez Taco’s business. George, we don’t hear anything about that. I think my show has always been kind of reminiscent of the backyard cookout. Now that I’m getting older, I talk about not being able to see with my mouth closed, the medicine, looking at everything that you can eat, carrying an EpiPen, and all those things that were so foreign.

But that’s how life has lived now. He said. In his early days, he didn’t have the personal touch, which is what made his jokes go next level. In the early nineties, somebody said to me, if I watched you, there’s nothing really about what you’re talking about that actually tells me anything about your personal life. If you’re married, I don’t know if you have a mom or dad, where your politics are, And George said, I thought that was a pretty good constructive criticism.

I stand up at the time. I started a look at all the stuff that was in my world and it just became the stuff that people gravitated towards. Ron Funches stars in Loot on Apple TV Plus. He spoke about his character Howard and said, Howard is pretty much me and best at playing different versions of myself with different energy levels at different parts of my life. During the pandemic, I stopped wearing hard pants.

So I was like, can Howard not wear hard pants? And they were like, yeah, absolutely. Conan O’Brien on his podcast said, Joel McHale’s running stick with me as he always gives me weapons, not guns or anything like that, but kind of an interesting steampunky weapons that you can buy on the dark web. For Conan’s sixtieth birthday, he gave me a crossbow, a real crossbow. It’s apparently a very nice crossbow.

It’s completely unassembled in the box, and so just put the box away up on the top shelf and when I say, top shelf. I’m six four. I have to stand on a box to reach this shelf and slide this box up there. So it’s way way way up on the top of this very high shelf in our garage and it’s facing the other way, so you can’t even see what it is. And it’s this box and inside it’s a disassembled crossbow.

All right, I made an executive decision to accommodate some travel. Tomorrow is going to you look at Vulture’s updated list of the best Adam Sandler movies. I have already recorded that and it came out well, so that’ll be tomorrow’s podcast, which means, let me tell you about two days worth of comedy festivals. Let’s start with moon Tower Today Saturday. At moon Tower three o’clock, Alan Ruck presents First Bueller’s Day Off.

Seven o’clock, Berbiglia seven o’clock, Bruce McCullough eight o’clock, Shane Gillis nine thirty for Bigs nine thirty Jeff Hiller, I mean Shane and to Biggs, right, can we make it from the HB Center at Cedar Park to the Paramount back to back? Who knows? This is all hypothetical so I’m gonna say, yeah, we can make it Sunday for Biggs at seven, Martin Orbroo at seven and Martin again at nine thirty. All right, maybe we should just save for Biggs. All right, let me redoce Saturday, let’s do Shane Gillis and then we’ll go see Jeff Hiller and then on Sunday we can do for Biggs and Martin.

All right, that works.

All right, let’s say who was in Melbourne.

We’re starting to get near the end of Melbourne, which she’s sad for me because I like playing these clips for you. At the end of the show. We’ve got another week of Melbourne. John, did you pre low the website? Nope?

All right, it is April fourteenth in Melbourne. Let’s see what we can find. Let’s do some with clips today. Winnie Wizard and her Magical Smells is a show for four to four hundred year olds. Kidd O Meg said her antics and mishaps will have everyone in stitches.

Weekend note says kids were laughing within seconds.

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All right, let’s listen.

The show was really great. Everyone loved it. I loved it pantastic. I found the show very intrigusing. I love the kid that said I found the show very intriguing.

That’s amazing. No actual clip, just her dancing around dressed as a witch. I guess I don’t know. Let’s move. Let’s find something a little more stand up, Ejohn.

All right, let’s try Jenny Tann’s Chinese Australian A Taste of Internet Fame. Theater Matters gave it four and a half stars. Jenny’s comedic timing is impeccable and her delivery is spot on.

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All right, let’s listen.

Hey guys, Hey, give me a cheer if you’re having some drinks tonight. Yes, hey, I love getting drunk with my friends, right. I love it because when you do, they get impressed by every little thing that you managed to do. Like I’d be wasted. And I could just hear them whispering in the background.

They’re like, oh my god, she can stand, Oh my god, she can walk, And I’m just like, oh my god, wait till they see me drive. I will also address my voice right like, I’m aware that my face is Chinese, but my voice makes it sound like I start fights at pubs. Yeah, I think I’d be a great telemarketer for the Pokeys. Or a great spokesperson for the casino. Because my voice attracts the bogans, my face attracts the high roller.

Is I like her a lot? She should come to the States. Fantastic. As I do this every day, I’m noticing a lot of strong women comedians in the Australian comedy scene right now, like a lot more than what I’m seeing in the American scene right now. Or maybe in the States women comedians just aren’t cutting through, or there’s no festival spotlighting them.

I don’t know what’s broken, but I feel like I’m playing a lot of women comedians from the Melbourne International Comedy Festival who are hilarious. Let’s get them up here, let’s stay one more. I liked her a lot. Jenny Tan all right, this next clip is from Josh Glance. I have watched this already.

I came back to this section here that you’re hearing to redo the intro because A I said his name wrong the first time, and B I do need to set up the clip. So so I’ll tell you the Sydney Morning Herald four stars bonkers brilliance, The Guardian four stars, a master of craze, and yeah, this is I love this clip. So he comes out and he’s dressed in a white T shirt. In non PC times, we would have called it a wife beater, you know, a standard white undershirt and a pair of shorts. He’s got a relatively hairy arms and legs, he’s got a mustache.

He’s got just a funny look to him. So when he comes out, when he first comes out here and you just hear music, he’s doing a funny dance, which made me laugh. Then he’ll get into some material, but stay with this clip. The clip is weird, but I loved it.

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And now by me dance together and everybody for our next SEC’s no more any com…

Let’s do this. A question? Tell me what you think about me? First impressions? Oh weird?

Cool, that’s a compliment. A question. Tell me what’s you think about this? Intriguing? Cool?

Thanks, it’s it’s it’s great to be here. This is a bit I like to call what’s new pussy cat? What’s new? Pussy cat? Whoa?

Whoa? What’s new pussy cat? Whoa? Ooh? One of the m M hey you heard?

What what about what? MP’s it isn’t you and doesn’t okay? Sorry? Continue okay, who was Oh wow, he’s hilarious though. How do you look for this clip Josh Glance Comedy up late twenty eighteen.

Boy, the visual definitely helps. I’m laughing here in the basement studio. He’s fantastic. Stick Ai Johnny mack here. I posted this in the Facebook group.

All right, let’s get out on an eygh note. I loved him. You’re probably listening right now, going why did you just make us sit through meals for ten minutes? I’m speaking of mews on my substack, which is free mcdeepod dot substack dot com link in the notes speaking of cats sound effects. During the week, I wrote the story of the Oscar the Cat Show.

Yes, a cat had a show on Serious Comedy for about a year. Some people think it may have been a cat’s sound effects, but no, it was a cat. We had a national cat hosting so check that out substack in the link. All right, tomorrow Sandler stuff Josh clans. Wow, I’m still laughing at him.

That was great. See to borrow

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Full Transcript

Calarocus Shock Media. According to retailers, the most popular Halloween mass this year is OJ Simpson and the most popular Halloween greeting is I’ll kill you and that guy who’s bringing over your glasses or treat and the Pope came out of the book this week, which contains a series of essays examining faith and morality in today’s secular world and the changing role of the Catholic Church as it approaches the twenty first century. The book is entitled God Himself told Me that OJ is guilty. In other book news, Prince Charles released an autobiography in which he states that he never loved Princess Die and that his father pressured him to marry her. The book is entitled well, of course OJ did it?

I mean come on. Comedian Robert Burrell tweeted OJ Simpson’s family announced he died of cancer. Cancer, on the other hand, has begun looking for the real killer. Norma to like that joke. Samurell wrote the movie Defending Your Life, but with ojy.

Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News Decider did a long interview with Neil Brennan, Sean McCarthey, is your interviewer. He hosts a podcast called The Comics Comic No Sean A little bit back from my serious days, Shawn asked, Neil, you mentioned Joe Rogan in your special, but then also Dave Chappelle. These people have massive platforms and audiences who were listening and looking to them, who were saying, we’re just comedians, but somehow also weighing in on and leading the conversations and weighty issues. Neil said, But they were always weighing in on them. They were never not weighing in on them.

It just didn’t make a difference before it. They were always like, ah, that’s a comedian. At a certain point, I believe in the early two thousands when John Stewart and Chris Rock and I would even throw Michael Moore in there and they got bumped up a notch and John Stewart would tell you so much his final daily show before you retired, he said, it didn’t help. Fox is more powerful than when I started. It’s like it’s Dave helping or hurting trans people one percent one direction or the other.

Statistically, I’m gonna bet not. I can’t prove it, but they can’t prove that he is, you know what I mean. But it’s a good position to be like victimized by this comedian. But it’s like, yo, the whole thing was supposed to be about being funny, and then it became leadership. And the analogy I’ve been making is people complaining that snickers bars aren’t very nutritious.

No kidding, it’s a snickers bar. If you’re looking for leadership about any issue, why are people going, well, what do the clowns think? It’s insane? Rogan and other comedians on their podcast will defend themselves by saying we’re just comedians. Sean asked, how much do you think social media podcasting has blurned the lines for audiences in terms of thinking of comedians as purely as entertainers versus thinking of them as influencers.

That’s a great question, Neil said.

And then everybody asks this comedy under attack, and it’s like, no, it’s not…

It’s more like it’s all these questions of credibility, Like comedians are news anchors now, and that’s not because comedians are pretending to be news anchors. That’s because news anchors are topless on New Year’s Eve, or news anchors or you know, David Mrror is like a model. It’s like he looks like a fashion model. That doesn’t mean he’s not a good broadcaster, but I’m just saying the incentives of the structure, everything’s perverted.

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And then people are turning into comedians, and then the news is trying to bl…

So the NIH’s total mangling of the COVID vaccine and mask roll out as Joe Rogan’s fault, and then you go, well, Joe needs to be No, he doesn’t. The minute Joe becomes a news thing, he’s not. It’s no fun. The whole thing is I’m just some guy. And here’s what I think.

And so many people liked him and appreciate the stuff he said that. It just had a huge following thought this was interesting too. Neil said, is Allen Degenerous nice? What did she give millions of dollars away to charity? Then yes she’s nice?

Is she hilarious? Then yes she’s nice. From the Daily Mail, a story about Tracy Morgan. There are a lot of N words in this one. I’m going to substitute in the word fella so I can roll through the story without having to stop and awkwardly say N word fifty times.

This from the Daily Mail. The headline Tracy Morgan’s former co star Bobby J. Thompson accuses comedian of bullying him on set for stealing scenes when he was just seven and Thompson was on comedy Hype News earlier in the week. He said Tracy Morgan accosted him when he was just seven years old during their time together on The Tracy Morgan Show, which ran on NBC in two thousand and three. Thompson is now twenty eight.

Thompson said, I remember being a kid on a certain set and the star of this certain project that I was working on. The fella got mad at me. I’m just a seven year old kid, just doing my job. Bro. He got mad at me, grabbed my collar and he was like, who the f is that on my sign?

My fella, that’s how he handled me, he said. Tracy Morgan told him to stop getting in scenes and hamming it up. The same fella turned around and did an interview and acted like it was all good, Like, oh yeah, if he’s stealing a scene and that’s what it should be. I only want to be the best, Thompson said, but fella, that’s cap That ain’t the truth. That ain’t how you felt for real, because you took me as a seven year old child and made me feel bad for doing my job well.

Thompson said Tracy’s criticism hurt him because he was only doing what he was learning from Tracy. That’s the cold part. He claimed. The experience has messed him up. He rained on a seven year old kid’s parade.

During the interview, Thompson had avoided mentioning the name of the actor. The interviewer guessed it was Tracy Morgan from the context clues. Then Thompson said, I ain’t ducking nothing. It’s Tracy Morgan. He says he has no bad blood towards Tracy, but the kid and me has still heard about that.

The grown man at me don’t give a damn. Tom Segoria has got another deal with Netflix. It’s a six episode dark comedy series that Segora will start in and produce. In untitled series, Tom Segora will serve as the narrator, will see him take the viewer through a series of vignettes in each episode. The twisted comedic sensibility of a stand up is the core DNA of the series where every story will unfold in a hilariously disturbing way only Tom Segora could imagine.

All right, twenty twenty five for that one. Gerrod Carmichael, who I’m just not interested in. He was on Andy Cohen’s show and they started talking about Gerrod’s foot fetish. Don’t care. Carmichael said, you know it’s new.

I’m really in a feat lately. It was taboo. Cohen said, yeah, because you’re sucking some feet on a grinder date in the first episode the show. Carmichael said, yeah, all in whatever. The La Times spoke to Chris Ostrata.

They had some fun banter about Twitter. The interviewer said, on Twitter, which is always what I referred to it as, not X. Astrata said, I joke around with that. I know Elon Musk bought Twitter and it’s called X, but it’s the only time I feel like an old person that doesn’t respect pronouns. I’m like, you were born Twitter and you will die Twitter.

I will not call you X. That’s a great joke, La Times. On Twitter, you posted about how standing at five eleven makes you a tall Mexican. What are some advantages of being a giant among your people, Astrata said, definitely, going to Northgate and reaching things other Latinos can’t. I joke about that because five eleven’s not tall.

But around a lot of Latinos that I grew up with, sometimes I was the taller one. I always joke around. If you’re over five eleven, you’re tall. But if you’re over five eleven is a Latino? You have Andre the giant disease.

The Times interviewer said, well, I’m six six in Mexican, so I’ll consider you my brethren. Astrada said, you have Andre the giant disease? Did you grow up by a nuclear plant? Gossup co Corner and on Gossip Corner, Amber Rose has set the record straight. She is not dating Chris Rock.

I don’t know why you think she was. They were seen out and about together in New York City, and she told Entertainment Tonight it was not a date. I’ve been friends with Chris Rock for like thirteen years. We met for coffee. We talked some crap to each other.

He made me laugh because he’s hilarious, and that’s our friendship, just friendship. It’s comedy festival time. Let’s see what’s going on at the various festivals. John, did you preload the Melbourne website? Of course not.

Maybe I’ll do that now while I tell you about Moontower at Moontower seven o’clock, Nicole Byer seven o’clock, Jeff Ross doing a lot of shows, Shane Gillis at eight, Joe Para nine thirty, Racial Bloom nine thirty, Let’s see. Hmm. Now I’m cheating because I already tape Saturday, so I know tomorrow I’m gonna say, let’s go see Shane Gillis. So let’s see Nicole Byer at seven and do Joe Parrett nine thirty has that sound? And at Melbourne let’s do some without clips today.

Laurence Driscoll’s show is called The Product Gay Sun. Prodigal doesn’t mean what you think it does, but Lawrence can’t explain it for you. He’s too busy sorting through flashbacks of growing up gay in rural Australia and escaping into the city as a gay refugee. Here’s hoping the healing power of laughter works. No reviews.

Oliver Hunter’s show is called Baby on Board. Oliver’s back and he’s at a massive year, he’s getting married, there’s a baby on the way. Is he ready? Absolutely not? Is he excited?

He’s working on it. Oliver’s laid back in the Conic style will have you rolling with laughter. Sceinster called it charming, witting and offering a perspective that doesn’t get much airtime. Rachel Taliney’s show is called Motion Sickness, car crashed, job sacked, bags packed? Did someone say Eurosummer?

Rachel lives her life in the fast lane, that is until a life changing car accident sends her into a fashionably early quarter life crisis. The result the trip of a lifetime baby hugging comedians said it was legendary one and a half stars. Theater thoughts said Tunney almost quite literally explodes onto the Melbourne comedy scene. The Australian Arts Review said, tightly wound original songs and rye asides and kicking off today until next Sunday, April twenty first, it’s the Dubai Comedy Festival. Two venues there, Dubai Opera and the Coca Cola Arena.

Roxy Cinemas at the Dubai Hills Mall will also host several shows, putting a spotlight on stars from the Egyptian Emmorati and South African comedy scenes. The Frank Skinner Show on Sunday, It’s been canceled, so if you’re heading to Dubai to see Frank Skinner, full refunds will be provided though, so that’s good. Catherine Ryan has been added to the lineup. She’ll play Dubai Opera tonight. She says, I’m a self author of my comedy, so I do talk a lot about my life and mistakes, but now I do have to consider more people’s feelings, Like I want to talk about my family and kids, but I don’t want to dunk on my husband constantly either, because I do plan to keep them around.

And with all that’s been happening in my life, I’ve pretty much checked out of comedy for a couple of years in the lef landscape change during that time. So the challenge for me now is how to still make self deprecating jokes and not be afraid of this new genre of comedy where people are scared of being canceled and very careful fortune Fiemster is taping her new special at the More Theater in Seattle tonight and tomorrow She’s described as affable, charismatic, and one of a kind. Richard Cervat has a new comedy album, They’re Gonna Know, that’s out on Blonde Medicine. They’re Gonna Know as an exploration of the modern world we live in, where trolls no longer live in caves but abound in in cell forms in the cloud. The Internet’s out of hand and Richard is not afraid to say it.

The album also tells the story of Richard buying three hundred bitcoins when they cost a dollar, so he must be a trillionaire, and spending them all on magic mushrooms. Oof. If the math is right, that was a seven million dollar trip. And that is your comedy news for today. On the weekend, Tomorrow’s a normal episode.

Sunday took a look at the updated Adam Sandler movie list. You know, he has forty seven films. Vulture ranked them and I commented, So that’s Sunday’s episode. Tomorrow is normal. See you then,

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Choenny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. I’ll talk about Neil Brennan special in a second, but some good stuff from Late Night. Colbert said, Now, if you told Stephen Colbert is a teenager that one day the president of the United States would be standing trial for paying off a porn star, that young man would say, you have porn. Jimmy Fallon joked about the jury selection and said it asked questions like whether they believe in QAnon, used truth, social or attempt Trump rallies.

In other words, they want to know, are you Marjorie Taylor Green switching to healthcare? Kim Old Trump believes that every woman should have the right to drive six hundred miles for healthcare seth President Biden attack former President Trump over his stance on abortion, which Trump describes as don’t ask, don’t tell. All right that Neil Brannan special. Did you catch the bonus episode that I released on Tuesday night? I had a lot of things to say there about an unnamed special, but specific to Neil Brennan.

Oh, I was so disappointed. The material is good, which is the shame of it all. I think possibly perhaps maybe it could be conceivably true that maybe somehow someone accidentally added a lot of laughter after every single line. He pauses, there’s a huge laugh after every line. And I don’t know about you, fellow human.

You can’t as a human, you can’t do that. You can’t just constantly be like bah bah bah. You have to let these specials breathe. I spoke my piece in the bonus episode about an unnamed special, so check that one out. I did a three minute rant on Tuesday night about that one.

But I can’t add this to the top specials of twenty twenty four. And again, the material is there, but I don’t know what’s going on. Guys, I don’t know. Let me know what you think of it. In the Facebook group Daily Comedy News podcast group hip Hop DX says Dave Chappelle reportedly made some wise cracks about his longtime friend Kanye West and Kanye’s wife Bianca.

They’re sourcing a Reddit poster who says, I went to a Dave Chappelle show last night and he had multiple jokes directed at Ya throughout the night. He did say there’s no beef between them. I’m gonna have to really clean this next part up. Chappelle said he recently had dinner with Ya and Bianca, but said it was the most uncomfortable dinner he ever attended because Bianca was basically naked. He said it looked like she woke up and put some makeup on, slap some duct tape on her upper body, cleaned that up, and shoved a cork up her area.

That you might shove a cork up and know not the first thing that came to mind, the other thing that’s more nasty. So she shoved a cork up there and walked out the door. Thank you, ready user for that mental picture. Joe Rogan and Andrew Schultz got a little political. Rogan spoke of the current president, saying the idea that they’re going to keep running him is just bananas.

You’re going to keep him in there. I can’t believe that’s real. But as time goes on, I’m starting to think they might actually keep running him. Schultz said, I don’t know why they would switch him out. They’re not in a position they can switch him out for anybody who steps in.

Rogan theorized he’d have to kick the bucket. Schultz suggested the Democrats would put Gavin Newsom in the place of Biden, asking Rogan if he thinks that’s the scenario Democrats are secretly hoping for. Rogan went with it and said, May, I think Biden’s got until May. I feel like right around May they’re gonna pull him, Schultz said, and Newsom comes in, Rogan, I think he just has health problems and the country understands, and Newsom is going to have his support fully, and Kamala is gonna be like, I don’t even want to be president. I’m cool with being vice president Schultz.

So Newsom runs with Kamala. Rogan, Yeah, I think so. I don’t think they can pull Kamala as long as they can keep her quiet. Schultz, none of us really believe he’s making the decisions right. He’s just like a puppet for just to get lambasted when all these things happen, and then he forgets about it immediately afterwards.

Rogan said, yeah, he doesn’t know. He’s the perfect guy to blame for things. Conan O’Brien returned to The Tonight Show, currently hosted by Jimmy Fallon. Now I forgot that the Tonight Show had moved back to New York City and said, I haven’t been in this building for such a long time, and I haven’t been on this floor. Fallon now using similar space to what Conan used for Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Conan said, flashbacks happened.

I mean, I was here for sixteen years doing the Late Night show before we went out to LA and right across the hall, all these memories came flooding back to me. Conan said the strangest part was seeing his old studio where the Kelly Clarkson Show now shoots. Conan says, the first thing that’ll hit you, it’ll hit you too, because when you’re ninety eight, you’ll move on and someone else will be in this chair. Conan took the high road, and you should take the high road. And Conan told Jimmy Fallon, I want to say I’m just very happy for you.

I’ve had the honor of meeting every Tonight Show host going back to Steve Allen, and I think what you’ve done with the show is beautiful. You’ve made it your own, You’ve done so much great quality work, and I couldn’t be happier for you. Pete Davidson also took the high road, he recently decided not to continue forward with Bupkis. An insider told TMZ that Pete has given quote hundreds of thousands of cash to the show’s creators as a token of appreciation for their efforts. This source says he gave the money to just a handful of people who were involved in season one.

The source added the people who were working on the now dead second season did not get any money. Vere Does had a fun encounter. Well, maybe not fun encounter. It’s fun for me as I sit in the basement, don’t have to deal with this. Verer was in a hotel and went to the bathroom and started doing the kind of thing you’re doing there, and there was a snake.

He tweeted at an echo resort for the night because we’re shooting nearby. Needed to take a whiz, open up the bathroom door, stood over the pot, stuff out, and before I began, a snake fell from the ceiling directly onto the water tank near the flush handle. I’m never peeing again. So after I bailed on Neil Brennan at the seventeen minute mark because of reasons well discussed, I put on the Curb finale, even though I hadn’t caught up on the full season of Curb. It was okay, not bad, not amazing.

I’m not going to ever think about it again. I kind of like Larry’s Fu to the Universe that he re did the Seinfeld finale. It was okay. Darren Revelle, if you’re on Twitter, you may know Darren. He tweets a lot about sports and said after opening day, July fifth is the best selling ticket day for the New York Yankees.

Is it because they’re playing the Red Sox? No, the Yankee say it’s because they’re giving out a George Costanza bobblehead. When I drove to Vermont the other day and back, I listened to a million podcasts. I forgot to mention. One of them I listened to was Mark Marin with Tig Natzaro.

I had a bail on it. I just I don’t find Tig good company. I’ve had this reaction with her before when I listen to her on stuff. I enjoy her comedy, but I just wasn’t feeling it’s I bailed. Alison Brie has shared an update on the Community movie.

She says, we got a script. You heard it here first. I’ve read the script and it’s so funny. But then she said, I hope that Annie hasn’t changed too much, because I loved her just the way she was. Well, you read the script.

Has Annie changed or not been? What? Ten years now? I hope Annie changed? Tonight at the Moontower Comedy Festival, Darcy and Jerr.

They were super cool when I had them on the podcast about a year seven o’clock, Rachel Bloom at seven, Margaret Show at nine thirty, and Jeff Ross at nine thirty. All right, so on the front end, I’d say, let’s go see Darcy and Jerr because they were cool to me. On the back end, Margaret Show’s manager or agent or somebody associated with Margaret Show insulted the hell out of me twenty years ago for telling me I was too stupid to give Margaret Show a show on serious. That was not a good opener. That immediately made me go, you’re never getting a show on Sirius.

Now, don’t come at me like that, dad. So I’m not gonna go see Margaret Show. Hypothetically, if I were in Austin, which I’m not, I would go see Jeff Ross, which means good choice by me, yesterday, not seeing Jeff Ross. So Jeff Ross with the late show, Darcy and Jair for the early show. Who scrolling down at tomorrow?

Shane gillis? All right, Shane hasn’t been in the news. Let me throw him in Google see if anything’s up. Nope, nothing new.

All right, let’s see what’s going on at Melbourne.

Did you pre load the website today, John? No, it is April twelfth day, Friday night in Melbourne because of the way time zones work. Yeah, we knew it on time. A little short today, all right, let me find someone with clips for you. Michael Shaffar’s show is called Lots to Say.

Sim Out says he’s a brand of comedian that is getting rare and rare to come by these days. And if you’re among those who fear comedy’s gotten too politically correct, this show will put those fears to rest. One of his clips has a big lettering that says, any nazis here, let’s listen. So I’m trying to be a better Jew. I don’t perpetuate any Jewish stereotypes anymore.

I don’t pick up money from the ground anymore, and don’t do it’s too risky. What if someone says me, I’ll be like, ah, Jude, picking your money, fucking you know it? It was my money. I’ll dropped my money. I was leaving Colls Bella Clava the other day, old lady comes up to me.

She goes, excuse me, sir, is that yours? There’s a duller coin on the ground. And I was like, now, I just try a bitch, and then just walked off, not following for that one, not going for that. I don’t want to perpetuate any Jewish stereotypes. Like if I’m watching the news on TV with a friend, I will never change the channel because I don’t want him to think that I control the media.

But I never grow up with any Christian customs. I find Christian customs very strange. Such a friend of mine as Christian. I was like, isn’t it weird that you guys cut down a tree? This is a weird custom that you guys have, and he goes, well, don’t you think it’s weird to cut off a foreskin?

I was like, yeah, but we don’t then hang the fur skin in the living room. I mean, religious Jews do, but I’m pretty secular. So he’s fantastic that was really good. The material is much better than the crowd. We actually love him.

He’s Michael Schaffar. If you want to head down in Melbourne, he’s a QT Melbourne nine thirty. You should go right. Let’s try George Zacharoppolis twenty twenty four, Greek Comedian of the Year Greek in the Sheets. Reviews Up gave it five stars, saying wicked sense of humor.

One four review, five stars. This is an accomplished stand up at quite a frenetic pace. Now I’ve noticed a lot of the other reviews site like the Adelaide whatever or what are the big newspapers, the Quintessential review reviews Hub and one four review made me suspect that maybe, perhaps possibly George had to go digging for a good review. I haven’t listened yet. I’m gonna listen just as you are for the first time.

Let’s see. And in Melbourne last year, I came on stage in this place. Hello guys, my name is George. I’m from Greece. This guy stood up he what made that?

Is preposterous? Which for the heck all, it’s pretty good. I was on stage. I get deering headlights thick in preposterous, that’s my cousin’s name. All right, That’s that’s all he shared.

He got a laugh because of his timing on the first one. He took that pause and then followed up with not an amazing line, but he got the laugh for timing. Okay, the preposterous is my cousin or whatever the joke was. This is a bit of a hack joke, right but okay, Like if you went to see him tonight and he sat there, it was fun. It’s not George Corolin in his prime.

But it’s fine. Let’s do one more. This is Enribonds Gupta. That show’s called polite provocation. Film companion says his astute sense of observation, chris writing and stage persona have made him stand out as a favorite no matter what country he performs.

In Beat magazine four stars, calling him suave, smooth and an international veteran.

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All right, let’s listen, Hi, I’m very happy to be here because the other opti…

I’ve been doing comedy in India for ten years and now I have nothing to say. India is so funny already. How can you be funnier than India? It’s impossible. One time I was doing a show in Mumbai and on the way I saw an ambulance crash into another ambulance.

Both patients went in a tuk took to the cemetery. So it’s just good to be away for a while. I was recently invited to perform a stand up at a corporate event and for some reason they put me right after the motivational speaker, so we just canceled each other out. He was like, you can win, and I was like, you have lost. He’s really funny.

A nearby Duskoopta come to the states Man. That’s the kind of comedy that would crush here. He needs to get up here. Like him a lot. Once a corporate hotshot.

He’s great stages across India and the globe, smashing the prestigious just for laughs, from Montreal, last year’s Melbourne Comedy Festival, etcetera, etcetera. Yeah, dude, come to the States All right, let’s get on a high note. I loved him, And that’s your comedy news for today. If you enjoy the program, tell a friend about it. They might like it too.

See you tomorrow.