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Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News and daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. A sentence the Algorithm loves. I’ve been having fun doing the show lately. I mean, I always enjoy doing the show, but I feel like different names have been coming up, except for me talking about Nikki Glaser every day.
But you know, like yesterday, I had just like different people in the mix. That always freshens it up for even me. But let’s talk about Nikki Glaser. She was on the Tonight show because of course she was her PR team getting it done, the agent’s getting it done America saying we’re done. I think, I don’t know, kind of getting that vibe anyway.
Nikki Glaser name dropped Leonardo DiCaprio, as one does. At the twenty twenty six Golden Globes. Nikki Glaser said, what a career, Leonardo DiCaprio has had countless iconic performances, You’ve worked with every great director, You’ve won three Golden Globes and an Oscar And the most impressive thing is you were able to accomplish all this before your girlfriend thirty, which is a fantastic joke. Well, we learn that Nikki Glaser sent Leo flowers. She told Jimmy Fallon after I do it a joke.
I always send flowers to everyone that it made fun of. That was a good sport about it, which shows everybody just to say thank you, because it’s part of why I’m successful at it. The only person who sent something back to me was Leonardo DiCaprio. He sent me three baskets of pasta as a thank you. So funny, so good, and part of me was like, does Leo want to smash?
Which is discheeing up a joke, because no, Nikki, you’re over thirty. Conan O’Brien started joking about returning to NBC. Conan was kind of goofing around with the idea that CBS is selling Stephen Colbeer’s soon to be former timeslot off to the highest bidder. Conan said, well, wait a minute, you’re saying I could go back to NBC. They’d probably let me go on at like three in the morning if I bought the time.
His producer Jeff said, nif that, and ConA said, okay, four in the morning, I could give the Farm Report. Can my production company by the four o’clock time slot on NBC and create her own show and sell all that sweet advertising money that would be coming in at four am. Conan took that a little further and said, I think I’d be great in daytime. I think housewives would love me. Now, this is interesting, His producer said, Conan had that opportunity.
Ross reminded Conan before we went to TBS, we took a meeting with these guys at Debmore Mercury and they wanted to do a daytime show. When we learned that Debmore Mercury’s past and present daytime TV titles include The Wendy Williams Show and Sherry, Conan said, I’d be so lovable and fun as a daytime talk show host. A different producer said, as you’ve aged, your audience has stayed very young. You have a very young, mobile, digital first audience. Conan said, how dare you tell me of aged?
This makes me want to shut down the podcast on the HBO Travel Show immediately because I’m very reactive. I’m launching a daytime talk show. This is hilarious. God, it said, It’s syndicated, and yes it’ll do terribly, but we get to own how terribly it does. I’d kind of love to see that, wouldn’t you.
A late night er spoke to Jeff Ross on the side. Ross confirms that the previously unreported meeting did indeed happened. The pitch would have been for Conan to host a thirty minute syndicated show. So it’s been coming up on the show lately, the topic of bombing boy. Listen to this.
This is from CNN’s America Laughs with Matt Friend. Dude, America did not Laugh with Matt Friend. In the Facebook group, Jeff and I were going back and forth wondering if this was an example of the crowd being micd or not. And I’ve gone back and I’ve listened. The crowd is miked.
Here off this first joke, you will hear a laugh. It will be the last laugh that you hear. And I also suspect, just having been in studios for thirty years, I think maybe perhaps possibly that’s a producer laughing extra loud to goose the room. I’ve done that personally, I’ve clapped extra loud to gooser room, and I think that’s what’s going on here. But here, please suffer with me as we listen to America does not laugh with Matt Friend from CNNA political comedy special, Who boy listen to this?
I am gen Z. We cannot go to war. I look like if Pickleball was a person. Okay, I look like the youngest Kushner brother. I look like I’m in a business club with Baron Trump at NYU.
I am not equipped for battle. I had an anaphylactic food allergy as a kid. What am I supposed to fight with my EpiPen like? I’m not afraid of a grenade. I’m afraid of cross contamination.
Not a terrorist but a loaf of bread. We have no iconic Americans to send to war either, gen Z, Like previous generations sent Elvis Presley and Clint Eastwood to war. But who do we have? Benson Boone and Timothy Shallomey backflipping and Iran? My generation, every moment is an opportunity for content, Like we would do a fit check at the battle when it starts.
I’d get there. Hey, guys, just got to Iran. Check it out. Custom camera pants Dara, Yes, bullet proof vests, thrifted boots from Sheen. It’s giving dystopian sleigh.
Yes, we would find out we’re drafted through an Instagram reel or a TikTok like I’d be naked on my couch doom scrolling. Nothing beats a jet too, holiday, You’re going to war next week? What is happening right now? Yikes? Okay, now, how can we dust this off?
Do you have anything actually funny? John I do? Mass Live noticed that Matteo Lane had posted on Facebook now here Matteo Lane is saying mean things about Springfield, Massachusetts. Mass Live tells us that the references here are to the Roorer Comedy Club at MGM Springfield, where Matteo Lane performed for four nights back in twenty nineteen. Check your calendar.
Apparently, the Rorer Comedy Club is a refurbished armory inside the Casinos Plaza. This is the opposite of mad friend. This is funny. I did make an edit here to eliminate a word that rhymes with maggot. The worst place I ever perform is anyone from Springfield, Massachusetts.
Okay, let’s talk. So the people are trashed, the town is trashed, the food is trashed, the cars are trashed. When the clouds move over, the town. They become trash and I was forced to work in this weird castle they converted into a comedy show. It was also, by the way, all castles are gay.
Nope, am I wrong? Their castles are gay. No, straight guys like I want to tolerate that is a gay thing. And I love castles as a kid. I like a lot of books on castles, and they’re gay.
It’s like Modes Wizard’s Secrets. So anyway, there I am at medieval times and I’m just remember medieval times like, oh God, like I get okay, so I know. So anyway, there I was, and I was first of all, there was like sixty people in the audience. There was in huge rooms like just echoey and terrible, and I was gonna bomb and no one kneho I was. So I did my stupid joke right the like mateial Lane and I walk out.
I’m like, hi, thanks so much. I’m obviously gay.
And then this guy just stood up and went nope and walked out.
I know, which is fine if you want to be there, that’s fine. But the whole time I was on stage, I just kept thinking myself, I’m like, what did you think I was? Going to do for a whole hour. It’s just thanks so much and obviously gay. Close the doors.
Mass Live MGM Springfield declined to comment on the video. According to mass Live, they also tell us Springfield Mayor Dominic Sarno did not respond to a request for comment about Mateo Lane not enjoying his four nights in Springfield. Back in twenty nineteen, some people in the industry are talking about this email that we got kind of late on Friday from the Netflix. Is a Joe Comedy Festival. The big banner says every comedy in every corner of LA.
Claim free tickets to seventy five plus comedy pop ups across Los Angeles. Tickets are limited Reserver spot today and from the conversation I’m seeing on reads, these seem to be well known Los Angeles local scene shows and there are a lot of them. For example, Poncho’s Comedy Night with It Dan o’ carter. If you want to claim tickets for the free event, that free event is May fourth at eight point thirty Boy John Lovettz Love It or Leave It from Crooked Media. May fifth at five o’clock.
That has tickets available. The Two Bears five K Thoms, the Goren Bird Krascher’s thing at the Rose Bowl. I can just claim tickets and join that five K. Dimitri Martin is also a painter at the Fairfax Art Gallery. You can claim tickets to that, and then there’s a big and so many more sections.
So not sure what’s going on here. Some people are suggesting that maybe Netflix just wants to take over the city for a little bit. Now, this particular story you’re hearing right now, I’m recording on Saturday morning. I’ve previously shared with you the Deadline noticed that tickets weren’t going well. Here’s a random show Shane Gillison friends at the Hollywood Bowl on Mayson.
That seems like that could be cool, right, let me pop on here. Yep, I’m on ticketmaster dot com. If you want to sit in section five, Row ninety, standard ticket fifty nine thirty and there appears to be a lot of tickets available for Shane gillis not picking on him, just Deadline had put this on my radar. Let’s see if he wanted to see Dusty Sleigh at the Troubadoor just for a random show to click on. That one is sold out, all right, Let’s pick one more random show.
I want to say how my Flight of the Concords are doing. Sold out at the Greek Theater. I wonder how that’s doing on the secondary market. Two shows May ninth and tenth, both sold out. Now this is interesting.
Now, remember I had told you tickets were six hundred and ten dollars, and I’ve been making a big deal about that. Now I’m on sea geek here and I can get into Flight of the Concords. It’d be sitting all the way in the back, but I can get in for ninety four dollars, so not six hundred and ten. There are There is a six hundred and seven dollars ticket available front and center. But you could get into this thing for buck twenty five if you wanted to row double e two tickets for one hundred and twenty seven dollars including fees from Defector just a wonderful headline.
The headline is a Rob Schneider comedy show. Maybe long and expensive, but at least it’s boring. Let’s unpack this. This was one of my favorite things. I tried to get this in over the weekend, but it was pretty busy.
I’ve had this as the lead story in episodes, but let’s do this here. This is fun, Defector Rights. On the afternoon of April ninth, twenty twenty six, partisans of the Alberta Separatist Movement scored a major endorsement. Rob Schneider posted on Twitter. I officially recognized the new independent nation of Alberta and its separation from the People’s Republic of Canada and the socialist morons in Ottawa, Okay.
Defector Rights time has not been particularly kind to Schneider’s brand of catchphrase comedy. Like a lot of ostensible celebrities in Trump Land, Schneider has become more valuable for his political alignment than anything to do with his work. He’s like if kid Rock were funny, except he’s also not really that funny, Defector Rights. You got the feeling that people tend to like them material because they aligned with the guy. So it makes sense that a Rob Schneider comedy concert would also feel like more of a political event than a cultural one.
I love this, Defector, writes Rivers. Casino in Philadelphia is pretty close to my house, where further away I might have hesitated to go see Schneider perform, but my wife was out of town, and I had accrude enough of the casino’s rush rewards points to earn a free slice of pizza and a bottle of beer, So what the hell? The gig drew a mostly white, mostly male, mostly middle aged crowd myself included lots of guys wearing golf bolos woven in a range of moisture wicking synthetics. One man sported the rare double wallet chain, and more than a few with air jails spiking up the last whists of gray hair, clinging to the front of their domes, wearing sunglasses wrapped around the back of their heads in case it suddenly got super sonny. At eight pm in April in Philadelphia, Indoors Schneider took the stage in a black fedora and a shimmering olive green suit and saluted the freest country in the world, the United States of America.
Defector tells us. Freedom in this case was expressed with a battery of half form rip, touching on stock stereotypes and some fresh racial prejudices. Fans of voice comedy were treated to all the hits Mexican voice, old black lady voice, Japanese man voice, Vietnamese manicurist voice, Southeast Asian or East Indian voice, and of course everyone’s favorite gay guye voice. There were or slurs, f slurs, dusty jokes about tipping. There was nothing about Alberta separatism.
The worst Obama impression I’ve ever heard was followed and turned by the worst Trump impression I’ve ever heard. Greg Gutfeld’s name raised cheers. Robert de Niros Drew Booze. To be fair, the defector guy says, I did laugh precisely twice, once at a joke about single use straws, which Snyder pointed out are not actually single use. You can drink from them and they could choke a turtle to death.
Okay, no, not bad. Rob definitely told it better. And a second time, when a long boring bit about self service Korean barbecue restaurants paid off with a punchline about a Korean whorehouse. His words were reminded where the client tell are invited to do some things to themselves. Still, a pair of chuckles is a pretty pitiable hit rate for a show that’s stretched to an eternity like ninety minutes.
As some of the audience petered out, others carried on full volume conversations and some seem to actually nod off. David Cross says he’s not gonna appear in anymore Alvin of the Chipmunks movies. David Cross has appeared in the first three live action Alvin in the Chipmunks films from twenty seven to twenty eleven. So I don’t know if there’s another one coming. It’s been fifteen years.
You never know. They could reboot it. But anyway, David Cross isn’t going to be part of this. In a new interview, he said I would never work with any of those people again for the rest of my life. They were just so awful to me.
I don’t know what the deal was, but right for the beginning, I was in London because we’ve been asking for a year, like, am I going to be another movie? Because they knew they were going to do a third one? Am I going to be in it? I was in pre production for a show Todd Margaret, and I’m there with my now wife and basically living there. We’re writing when in pre production fifty to seventy five people depended on me and the show’s going for their jobs, and we asked and asked nast.
We don’t no, no, we’re not sure. It could be maybe we don’t know. My phone rang I know that’s my manager, my agent, my lawyer, and this is only going to be really good news, really bad news. There’s nothing in between. My manager goes, hey, you sitting down.
They’re gonna use you in the third Chipmunks movie. They need you to get on a plane on January third. This is around Christmas. What that’s in a couple of days. It was just crazy.
They were doing like crappy things on purpose. Out today on the eight hundred Pound Gorilla, Lisa Lau she’ll have her debut special, Silky Smooth. It’s available for exclusive early access on the Gorilla Silky Smooth, Lisa explores the chaotic stages of adulthood, scheduling fun plans with tired friends, the unfair treatment of single people, being attracted to silly men, and the fear of being a role model to her pretend children. Emil Joachim, remember he was on SNL. I kind of didn’t realize he wasn’t on SNL anymore until I saw this article.
He got a Netflix special. They’re gonna tape in October. Premiere date to be announced. He will also be the Netflix as a Joke comedy coming up very soon from Axios, your home for comedy news. A new Portland dating show uses dogs to make matches.
I kind of hit the word dogs there the way Norm McDonald would have.
All Right, here’s how this works.
If you’re a Portlander who is romantically and emotionally available and you have a friendly dog, you can audition for about twenty slots at Migration Brewery at the end of May. Comedian Andy Mann says she is screening out psychos. Here’s how it’s going to work. You’re all gonna go to a farm later this summer and all the dogs will be released at once. Matches are made based on which dogs play and naturally vibe together.
Six people will be chosen to go on film dates, plus you’ll go under a makeover. Main said the dates aren’t necessarily meant to spark romantic love. It’s just two people who are meeting because their dogs brought them together. If any long term relationships come from it, that’s awesome. And you’re watching the Kevin Hart funny af thing?
Is that what it’s called? John? You hosts the show. I don’t know Kevin Hart comedy competition thing Netflix. Wabe caught up with Daniel and Delano, who’s one of the contestants.
Daniel describes his own comedy as honest, sometimes too honest, conversational style. There’s so many great comedians in Atlanta, and for them to pick me, I thought it was really cool. It was an honor. He taped his set for Funny af in Chicago. He said, it was my first time in Chicago.
It was cool seeing Kevin Hart there. It was just a really fun experience. I’m doing this because I enjoy what I like to do. I enjoy putting this out into the world. That’s why you create what you create, and that he’s your comedy news for today.
I’ll see tomorrow.