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The Shark Deck. I’m Johnny Mack with your daily come news. Really a different set of news stories today, like very atypical for the kind of things I usually do. I didn’t stack it that way, but it’s not the usual. A somebody’s got a special kind of thing.
We’ll see that. I only got three hour sleep. I had to do an airport pickup that went from twelve thirty to two am, so I was out till almost three am, and it’s been a minute since I’ve done that. Late Night’s still on strike with a late Bot like my lack of sleep as an idea for a bit and said, I’m sure Johnny Max’s three hour sleep routine is a fool proof recipe for success, if by success you mean snappy comebacks in a general disdain for human interaction. They say grumpy is the new forty three hours of sleep, and Johnny Mack is ready to conquer the world with his signature blend of sleep deprived charm.
It’s like he’s running on fumes and a smidge of bitterness. Jeez, late Bot, layoff. Greg Gutfeld. He’s still doing his show, and he referenced the writers strike recently and said, I have the number one late night show, so I have the only late night show going on right now, So you don’t have a choice. The Late Bot said, yeah, congratulations, You’re the only thing on TV.
It’s like being the last person at a party. You can dance like no one’s watching, because wow, no one is. From the Hollywood Reporter, Russia is cracking down on American late night TV host Listen to this. Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, and Seth Myers permanently banned from Russia, according to a new list of names released by the Russian government. The Russian Foreign Ministry released a list of five hundred Americans that are now banned from entering Russia.
Boy, I wish there wasn’t a strike. Those guys would probably have some good jokes. Did you try the late Bot, John, Yes, The lag Bot did not nail this as a topic. Some of the other is Barack Obama not allowed. Aaron Burnett from CNN not allowed, Rachel Maddow and Joe Scarborough not allowed, Brian Williams not allowed, Jimmy Fallon allowed, Congrats Jimmy Fallon.
Last year Russia band Ben Stiller and Morgan Freeman and Sean Penn. That sounds like a carnac joke from Deadline. Colin Jost was at the Pen America gala. It was held in the Museum of National History. If you’ve been there, you know the blue whale.
And Colin called himself a writer and a friend of writers, and extremely fortunate to be there that night, surrounded by two things that might not be around much longer, writers at Ocean Life. This is the first time that a whale is not the most endangered thing in a room. DV writers, as you know, are on strike right now. I have to say it’s very disorienting to spend the afternoon on the picket line and then show up for a museum cocktail hour in a suxedo. I don’t think that happens at a lot of other labor movements.
He was there for a dinner to honor Lauren Michaels and some other folks. John Mulaney was there also. Mulaney was a writer on SNL for five years. He introduced Lauren Michaels and thank Lauren for protecting generations of writers and presenting all viewpoints from the far left to the moderate left. He gave so many writers the chance to have a national network TV audience to speak to the entire country.
But every writer to come through SNL is totally ungrateful, so resentful. I contacted multiple writers for their favorite stories, and the conversations would descend into bitching about a sketch that Lauren cut forty three years a go.
And then Lauren Michaels talked about the infinite monkey theorem.
You know, if you locked a bunch of monkeys in a room with typewriters, sooner or later they would write hamlet. Lauren said, Americans have a soft spot for monkeys. They’re funny and you don’t really know what they’re gonna do, and sometimes they throw feces, and added even Shakespeare knew you needed laughs to keep them room.
Meanwhile, from Deadline, some of these striking late night comedy writers ha…
I checked one of these out, and you know, as good as me telling jokes written by the AI, you know, and I’m not saying that that’s that good. They’re putting together a weekly YouTube channel show. Sometimes it’s called picket Tonights and sometimes it’s called The Jokes you Love from the Picket Signs. But we’re saying them out loud. GREGA.
Winsky is a former writer for Colbert and John Oliver. He co hosted the first episode alongside Sasha Stewart. She’s a former writer for The Nightly Show on Larry Wilmore. Neither of them struck me as natural performers, and Greg said, whatever it’s called. This is where two striking WGA writers sit at a desk and tell you jokes.
He said, As you may know, writers are on strike. What you might not know is that, according to nine out of ten doctors, if a late night writer doesn’t do monologue jokes for too many consecutive days, they die. All right, I’m going to do a test here on the fly. I am opening up chat GPT, which is what I use for the late Bot, and I’m going to ask it to spit out variants on that joke. Okay, let’s see what happens here.
All right. I think the AI did better, which is a reason the writer should be concerned. Late Bot said. What you might not know is that, according to nine out of ten doctors, if a late night writer doesn’t do monologue jokes for two many consecutive days, they develop a condition known as punchline withdrawal syndromes. Symptoms include excessive pun usage, spontaneous outbursts of laughter at awkward moments, and a strong erst to roast random strangers on the street.
That’s a better joke if told by a proper comedian, which I am not. That’s a better joke. Another one from the late bot. Here’s a fun fact. According nine out of ten doctors, if a late night writer doesn’t do monologu jokes for too many consecutive days, their funny bone starts to disintegrate.
See I could see Kimmel nailing that joke. Anyway. Back to the YouTube thing, which is called Pickett Tonight, Greg Winsky said, we’ll bring you jokes and sketches whenever we can, and you’ll get to hear from writers inside the strike what we’re fighting for and why the studios need to talk to us. Stewart said, we’re two of the many writers who’ll be reading these strike propaganda jokes. If you’re like I want to watch someone more attractive, just wait a week.
That’s funny. Some more jokes from the writers. It’s ten foot gator is found in a Florida couple’s backyard, not found the couple very good, very very good joke. More late night stuff. Charlomagne the Gods show on Comedy Central called Hell of a Week.
Comedy Central not continuing production. They say, we thank Charlomagne and the amazing team behind the show for its impactful conversations and the incredible collaboration as we look ahead to our future partnership with Charlemagne. Switching topics here, I told you on Sunday about the comedian who got in trouble for making a joke about the Chinese army. There are a lot of articles right now about comedians being censored in China. Here’s another one.
Nigel Aang. He uses the stage name Uncle Roger. I think I’ve mentioned him in the past. He posted a video clip last Thursday for an upcoming comedy special in which he pokes fun at Chinese surveillance. He’s interacting with someone in the audience.
The audience member says they’re from a city in the south of China, and Uncle Roger says, good country, good country. We have to say that now, correct, all the phones are listening. His Chinese social media account has now been suspended. Interesting. I remember the comedian last week Chrissy Mayor.
She made some jokes about Dylan Mulvaaney. I feel like Chrissy isn’t a bit of hey, look at me mode. I saw another story about her something something an airline giving her trouble, and I saw that story and I’m like, hm, I feel like you’re on an attention campaign. I also notice her hanging around a lot of the bigger YouTubers that talk about like science fiction shows. I’m a fan of several of those, and she’s been making the rounds there.
So not quite sure what Chrissy’s up to right now, but The Daily Mail checked out an interview that Chrissy did with Fox News. Chrissy said, you should be laughing at things comedy club that might get you in trouble at work. You should be making snide comments to your buddies at a comedy club that could get you in trouble at work. It’s one of the last few places of freedom where you can be yourself and let loose, she said, trans or like the protected class azure. If people feel very entitled, you can just say your non binary and whoop.
You have just as much entitlement as a full blown trans person. She says. One of the reasons her clip went viral is because it lampoon’s the idea that anyone can join this victim group. Chrissy says, then you can’t criticize anything they ever said. Not only can you not criticize them, you can’t even joke about them.
At a comedy club, she was asked what her next course of action will be, and she said, there’s nothing to update here. All human beings should be constantly learning, growing, and trying to see somebody else’s opinion. Hey, one way you can support the show is go to buy me acoffee dot com, Slash Daily Comedy News and Boy, thank you listeners. I’m on my second large ice coffee with caramel and milk of the day. Nope, sorry, I just did at Brian Williams thing there and I conflated things.
I’m on my second large ice coffee. The first one was butter, per can and milk. This one is camel and milk. See the brain can tricky sometimes. Anyway, Kara, would you know Kara, She’s got the book The Power of the Streak, and she’s got the sub stack.
Not get off. Let’s see what she’s up to today. The new one is called why I chose to pressure wash on Mother’s Day? You know what? I also recently pressure wash not on Mother’s Day, but near Mother’s Day.
Why So I’m trying to stay in good greases. Anyway, I had aggress. Kara bought me several coffees, thank you so much. So did Becky. Becky bought me four and recommended a breakfast place in Chicago because she knew I snuck out there over the weekend.
Becky, thank you very much. If you’d like to support the show, go to buy me a coffee. Dot com slash Daily Comedy News, and don’t forget everybody. If in one of these months we hit the one hundred dollar mark, then I will do an insentire episode where I only say good things about Adam Sandler. Can you imagine?
Maybe we’ll get there one of these months, laugh Button says. Gas Digital is going to record and release six new half hour comedy specials. These will go up on YouTube. The comedians Rich Voss, Kurt Metzker, Louie Gomez, Day Smith, Colum Tyrell, and Jordan Jansen. You want to go to a taping?
Okay, you can do that. Actually you can’t. I just went to the website to confirm the name of the theater, which is the cutting room. But I see here they’re all sold out. Oh well, I tried.
I mean, I recorded the story as soon as I saw it. A taping is July tenth through the twelfth. But you’re not going. They’re doing to a night. Kurt Metzker and Jordan Jensen on the tenth, Dave and Louis on the eleventh column, and Rich Voss on the twelfth.
Cameron Esposito, She’s Fantastic, has a new podcast on this one, Survive or Die Trying. Cameron will provide real advice on how to survive anything and everything life can throw at you, from giant Barrett tacks at the zombie Apocalypse to being stranded on a deserted island or meeting your in laws. She says, Survive or Die Trying as podcast for anyone who has mentally walked through life’s scariest situations like the zombie apocalypse, or actually survived the more mundane but equally bananas, like that one break up in high school where you almost got her name tattooed on your forehead. After the fact, my guests and I are not survival experts, but we’ll learn together how to pare for the absolute worst case scenarios. I miss her old podcast, which she used to record at a comedy club.
It was a great way for me selfishly to keep an eye on some quote unquote up and comers, especially they were usually LA based comedians. I’m trying to google it for you now because I can’t remember what was called. Is it gone? I know it’s been over for several years, but I can’t find. Let me try on the Apple podcast app ah.
Here it is Put your Hands Together. It was called Very very Funny show. Last episode was back in twenty nineteen. But when the show used to be fresh, you’d get sets and backstage interviews from comedians in front of a live UCB audience. It’s definitely worth going back through the archives.
A lot of great comedians on there. Put your Hands Together. That one is called and I’m going to leave you with a spoiler for Fast X Fast in the Furious ten. If you don’t want that movie to be spoiled, I want it to check out here. I’ll babble for a second so you can pull your phone out of your pocket and hit stop.
This will be the final story for the day. Okay, are they gone? The people that didn’t see Fast X yet, Hey, did you see the cameo and Fast X Pete Davidson played Bowie. I didn’t know that was going to happen. I was pleasantly surprised by that and all the other cameos.
I had done a pretty good job of avoiding spoilers for Fast As. I loved Fast As. By the way, I am the biggest fan of the Fast and Furious franchise, all the way back to number one, back when we used to have Blockbuster Video. I rented that one night and I was just like, oh my goodness, this movie is so much fun, and it looks cool and the soundtrack is great. So I’ve been a fan all along.
You know when a lot of people jumped on when the rock jumped on, But me, o Gee, Fast and the Furious fan Fast ten fantastic fun. Turn your brain off. Don’t worry about physics. There’s a lot of questionable physics in there. I’m not sure you can just jump from a car to car without falling behind getting run over, or don Seretto will jump a car into a crane and smash two hundred feet and his airbags don’t even deploy.
But don’t worry about the physics. It’s just a fun, fun movie. Jason Momoa killed it anyway. Pete Davidson is a comedian, which is why I’m talking about Fast X. He played a character referred to as Bowie, and the Internet points out Pete Davidson’s character not killed off, which means we could have Pete and Fast eleven.
Why not? And that’s your comedy news for today. Follow the show for free on Apple podcast Spotify. If you’re on YouTube, smash that subscribe button, as the kids say, like a subscribe or whatever you’re supposed to do. Smash you’re supposed to hit the bell.
I don’t know the kids know what to do. You’re on YouTube? Your doing it? Do it? See you tomorrow?
Can I interest you in some meatballs made out of mammoth meat? No? All right? Hi. I’m Johnny Mack, host of Five Good News Stories.
It’s a twice a week podcast where I share some upbeat stories like the dog who only will respond to commands if you use an Irish brogue, or what about the guy who’s filling potholes with noodles? Or the woman who congratulations, she passed her driver’s license. Oh by the way, it was her nine hundred and sixtieth. Try you heard me correctly. It’s five good news Stories, a nice easy way to start your morning.
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