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Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Chinny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Some leftover chokes from late night last week. You saw the whole thing with the abortion debate in Arizona. Seth Meyers said, eighteen sixty four.
Was anybody even there yet? What was this their first law? After don’t shoot the piano player. That’s a great joke, Colbert. The law is so old that it predates the invention of the cowboy hat, the urinal, the paper clip, and the machine that makes paper bags.
Should we really be enforcing laws from an era where the cutting edge tech was bag. Michael Costa commented on Trump’s repeated lie that Democrats want abortions to happen post birth. Cossa said, come on, dude, Democrats don’t execute babies after birth. They send them to Hillary so she can harvest their organs. Kimmel on a totally different topic, of course.
The cherry tree is the basis for one of our nation’s most cherished, untrue stories about a young George Washington who used his new hatchet to chop down his father’s cherry tree. When his father asked, did you do this, he replied, no, it’s a total witch hunt, which is great, great joke. Ralph Barbosa is going to have a featured spot at the upcoming Netflix as a Joke Festival. Ralph will host something called Introducing Dot Dot, a showcase highlighting emerging comics. This will be at the Vermont Hollywood in La on May one.
Some of the comedians include Glorillis Mora, Rene Vaka, Alec Flynn, Ashima Franklin, Dylan Carlino, Kill Creepe, and Mondal all caps. I’m not familiar with any of them, which is great. I think it’s great that Netflix is spotlighting eight comedians or so whose names I haven’t even seen after prepping this show every day for almost five years. That’s awesome. Good job Netflix.
Emma San was curious about Dusty Sleigh and how he’ll break apart at country songs does He said, I can’t stop doing it. His famous routine makes fun of Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffetts. It’s five o’clock somewhere. Slay takes exception with the line it’s only half best twelve, but I don’t care. It’s five o’clock somewhere, says, and I’m like, well that’s not true.
You know, maybe five point thirty somewhere, but we don’t lose half an hour just because you change time zones. Well, now I realized that Newfoundland, Canada actually does have a half hour time zone. Sounds like Sleigh has fried his brain. He said, I can’t just enjoy myself reading a children’s book. Now he questions the logical stories like Humpty Dumpty.
If he’s so fragile, why did they let him sit on the wall. Then all of a sudden, here come the horses and they’re like, oh, we’ll help.
And now we’re like, oh, we got a lot more pieces.
That’s great. The Cider spoke to Neil Brennan. They asked Neil if we’re supposed to think of comedians as civic leader. As Neil said, it should be like the stress release and a ballast to the punishment of life. It should be fun.
So this idea obviously like Carlin he’s a poet and all that he’s a drug addict, Louis c. K philosopher King, go on, all this stuff of exalting people. It’s like, cut it out. No one can live up to this. And it’s also incredibly childish that you need another person to do that when you can.
So that’s my feeling about all this stuff. It’s like it’s childish. I get it, I understand it, I understand how it happened, et cetera. But like the Supreme Court has no credibility. But so all right, Rogan and Chappelle step up what Clarence Thomas has given RVs, but expect more from you clown.
Decider said, well, isn’t that John Oliver’s fault for becoming an Emmy winning voice for calling us to action? Neil said, he’s a consumer advocate, but he didn’t move to Maraga to become a consumer advocate. I think he kind of fell into it. No one can win Gandhi e racist? Should I go on Martin Luther, King Philanderer?
And then you get assassinated? Desider said, so, I guess I won’t ask your thoughts on Palestine. Neil said, you don’t want to know? Yes, also, who cares? And I would hugely disappoint you, but I’m not going to say which direction.
Mark Maron has been cast in Owen Wilson’s upcoming Apple TV Plus golf comedy. Owen Wilson plays Price k Hill and Over the Hill ex pro golfer whose career was derailed prematurely twenty years ago. Mark Maren will play Mits Pryce’s best friend and former caddie. Ten Episodes. Ay Chris Farley biopic is in the works.
Josh Gadd set to direct. I thought he’d actually be good as Chris Fourley. The film will adapt the best selling biography The Chris Farley Show Up, a biography in three acts by Tom Farley Junior. Lorne Myias is producing, so that’ll definitely get made. Paul Walter Hauser will play Chris Farley.
Leanne Morgan’s new book is called What in the World And It came out of asking just that, Leanne tells people the book is a celebration of my wild ride from a child growing up in rural Tennessee to one of the top touring comedians in the country. I shared all, from the many mistakes to the triumphs my story as a testament to the fact that it’s never too late, should never give up any importance of embracing it all with laughter and love. In Mumbai, a restaurant owner and his five staffers were booked for writing after they allegedly threw eggs at comedian Mumoir for Rookie. Sources say the accused had invited Ferruki to their restaurant, but he went to another eatery nearby, so they threw eggs at him. The bitispit between the Golden Dog in thefel on the Golden Bloats.
We have few WK cam shots of Taylor Swift. You enjoy what I do here, you can go to buy meacoffee dot COM’s last Daily Comedy News. The parking lot at the Donuts chain has been packed lately, and I park on the side. People have figured out that side parking is actually the move, and now I can’t even park on the side. It’s really annoying.
Taking a look at the comedy festivals. One show in Dubai tonight. It’s Christa Stefano at Moontower seven o’clock. Amy Sidaris seven o’clock, Josh Johnson eight o’clock. Ken Floor is nine thirty Kathy Griffin nine thirtymo.
I’ve heard a lot about Ismo. Let’s make him the late show early on. Amy Sidaris, Josh Johnson, Ken Flores. I don’t know anything about Ken. Let me click on this.
Ken Flora is Chicago based stand up comedian, a raising star in comedy thanks to his hilarious TikTok and Instagram reels. Hmmm, I kind of want to do that show. I like seeing people I haven’t seen before. All Right, we’ll do Ken floor As at eight and then we’ll do Eastmo at nine thirty.
Meanwhile, in Melbourne, it’s another one of those random days where instead …
That makes it confusing for me. All Right, Aaron Goarx. I hope I’m saying his name right. He has a recreation of the classic late night TV format ala Letterman, Leno, Conan, Course and et cetera. Well, that’s in my wheelhouse.
Let’s take a listen to this. So I’m a dad. Is there any dads out there? I’m not the only one who’s ruined my life? No, right, they’re not too bad.
I love them a lot, actually, but they’re quite mischievous. I’ve got two daughters. Their ages are six and eight, and they’re quite mischievous. They run through the house a lot, and I’m always saving them, like slow down, bloody Elle, slow down, watch where you’re going, you know, because I’m worried about them, but they don’t listen. They just keep on doing it, keep on running for the house.
And I’m worried something bad’s gonna happen. And sure enough it did. Just recently happen to my youngest daughter, Katie smacked her head right on the kitchen bench, up a nasty wound, you know. But I did rush her along with the doctor as quick as I could. Well, when I say as quick as I could, I did stop off at Red Rooster on the way, but I didn’t want to be listening to the doctor on her empty stomach.
But the doctor was great. When I got her there, he patched up the injury. He was quite gentle, and he said, look, take the next day off school to rest and recover. That’s what Katie did, and the next day came around. We dropped her off in her classroom, and as I dropped her off, her teachers noticed the injury, and she’s asked Katie what happened.
And Katie, being young, she’s not very confident and quite shy, so she was stumbling a bit. She was like, and I couldn’t just stand back and watch this. I wanted to step in and help her out, so I was like, you bumped your head, Katie. Okay, guy in abasement recording a podcast. That was a long way for an okay joke.
I think there’s some materially in there, but he’s gotta work on his pacing. I mean that was a long clip. You were probably listening to the podcast going, oh my god, John Hook this clip? Were you not? You were?
I almost bailed out of it too, but he got eventually to that punchline. But yeah, you tighten up the writing, man, Get to it, get to it, get to it, Okay. Next up, the Yanka Isamelovski’s show is called Working Girl. She’s here with her third solo stand up show, taking you on a ride through her sixth work career. Uh oh, let’s see how far I can get into this clip before I have to keep it clean.
Let’s listen. The thing is like, I’m bisexual, right and I when it comes to that’s it. That was the entire clip, one second before she started saying things I can’t play for you. I try. Bonnie Tangy’s show is called Lab Meet.
So I recently came out of a long term relationship, right, and I’ve been reading this self help book for breaking up, and in it they say that you got to learn to enjoy spending some time alone again. So they say what you should do is take yourself out on a date. So right, just take yourself to a dinner, movie something like that, just on your own. But I haven’t done it yet. I’m just not going to pay for dinner for myself when I know I’m frigid.
It’s a waste of money. But I don’t actually have a lot of luck with guys, and I don’t really know why. Like, I mean, I know I’m not a supermodel. I know that I’m not like Bondo Beach level hot, but I am bondad Junction hot. I reckon, have you guys been to Bonda Junction lately?
Yeah, it’s not that good. So that’s why that’s funny. So I reckon, parents are way too protective of kids these days, like super overprotective, and like I’m not an expert or anything, like I don’t even have my own kid. It’s not anymore. She’s okay, I’m tempted to critique the pacing, but you know she’s got a deliberate delivery.
So okay, let’s do one more Chloe Pets Show is called if you Can’t Say Anything Nice Now. The cover art here is Chloe giving us the middle finger. So I’m worried that this could be a little naughty, but you know, we’ll try. Let’s listen, fantastic. My name is Chloe.
I’ve al really gigged much in Australia, and I’m sort of worried that some of my cultural references are going to get lost. For example, I’m a lesbian. Do you guys have that here? Fantastic, We’ve got some down the front pink hare I can see. I’m a butch lesbian.
I love butch lesbians, not in a gay way. No, I don’t sleep with butcher women, not because I don’t find them attractive. It’s just logistically very difficult to get two butcher lesbians in the same room together to have sex because we’re just perpetually walking each other home. She’ll get me to my door and I’ll be like, well, I guess I better getting you home that little lady. The little lady in question is one hundred and fifty pound hockey player named Rock.
Very funny. I like her a lot. Fantastic. That is Chloe Pets and I wanted to leave you with this. I saw this on Twitter.
This is from Bossom Yusef. He tweeted this on March twenty first. But when I read it to you, you’ll see why it makes sense. But I really like this, he wrote. Today, I am fifty.
I remember a time when I thought thirty is quite old, forty is really real old, and fifty is one step away from death. Today I am fifty, and it was coming. It was so far, and you had approaching so slow. It creeps up on you bit by bit. And you wake up and you’re fifty.
At the age of twenty. You feel like you’re a ready tired, exhausted. You can’t imagine going on thirty more years like that, and yet you do. You’re there. You wake up and you’re fifty.
Maybe there’s one thing you wish you didn’t leave behind. Youth, Oh youth, What a wasted potential of people still have it? You see, I’m already sounding as a grumpy old man who just turned fifty. You want to hold on or whatever remains of youth you have. You want to look younger.
I feel younger, b younger. The fake humility you pretend to show whenever someone tells you, oh, but you look great for fifty. Rule of thumb. If people start telling you you look good for your age, buddy, you have aged. Imagine someone tells you you look great for twenty, you will punch them in the face.
Today I am fifty, a day that I might have dreaded, seeing wrinkles and furrows on my face, and people close to you trying to convince you to do something for the wrinkles and the gray hair, and they utter the magical words so you can look you know, younger. Yeah, here it is younger, our kryptonide or Achilles heel, our holy grail, our pain, our desires, our needs, our insecurities, our life potion, our happiness, and our grief, all at once. Younger, Well, I am not. I am fifty. I am now more familiar, more friendlier, and even more in tune with these wrinkles and cracks and white hair all at once.
I’ve spent more time with them than anybody else. Time has traced all my life and ease. Why would I erase that? Why would erase me? For the last five years, I plan for my fiftieth birthday photoshoot where it looks so good with lights and professional photography, so i’d hear the praise of not looking my age but for what it’s me.
And I’m fifty. So here is a simple elfie, no filter, no photoshop, no stupid ego trip. Today I am fifty, I am alive, I am here, and I’m very grateful. That’s your comedy needs for today.