Conan O’Brien’s new show, Rob Schneider says Not True, Ricky Gervais shows Jim Gaffigan how its done,

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Caloroga Shark Media. Have you tried sleeping high? I’m Johnny mag with your Daily Comedy News boy. I had nothing yesterday. Today I can tell I have my fastball because I actually slept.

Let’s see, the unionized writers at Sesame workshop are going on strike. I asked the late bot to write some jokes. Late Bot did a good job. Cookie Monsters strike demands are pretty simple. He just wants to change the lyrics to see is for contract.

That’s good enough for me. Oscar the Grouch loves the strike. He’s like more trash talking and refusing to work. This is the happiest day of my life. That’s a good joke.

That’s like quality late Night. I could see Kimmel or Fallon doing that exact joke. Ernie’s bath time has gotten pretty awkward. He keeps inviting his rubber ducky to join the union and seeing bath time is the right time to collectively bargain. That one feels a little Colbert to me.

The Count could not be reached for comment about the strike. He was too busy counting all the reasons Man’s offer was unacceptable. One grievance, two grievance three grievances A a ah, I don’t do a good count actual Late Night Jimmy Kimmel. The Trump campaign pushed back on reports that Trump fell asleep in court. He said that was fake snooze.

That’s terrible but good. Rob Schneider is calling BS on the notion that he bombed in front of the Republicans. This from TMZ. Schneider called the report a hit piece and even labeled it as woke propaganda. Casey missed it.

The report said Schneider was supposed to do a thirty minute show for some Republicans, but organizers cut him off ten minutes into the show because his jokes were too launchy and off color. Rob tells TMZ that he did fifty full minutes and that event Hanchos knew exactly what they were getting into with him. Rob said, I’m not changing my material or apologizing for my jokes to anybody. Enough with the woke BS. America is sick of it.

I did fifty minutes because that’s what I was paid to do. Nobody remove me from stage. Somebody waved to me at the fifty minute mark. He said he took the fifty one thousand dollars he was offered to perform and did so happily, and then slammed the figure as devaluated by twenty six percent over the last three years thanks to Joe Biden. Drod Carmichael told The Breakfast Club, I deeply regret saying anything about Dave Chappelle to the press.

I want to say I’m sorry for that, a non apology say it. Doesn’t regret say anything about Chapelle, he just regrets saying it to the press. Now. Back in twenty twenty two, Carmichael told GQ, and I agree with this and Dave Chappelle, I hope you’re paying attention, Dave. Do you know what comes up when you google your name?

Bro? Your legacy is a bunch of opinions on trans stuff. It’s an odd hill to die on. I agree with Drod there, despite all my coast to coast flying, I’ve not yet caught up with Joe Rogan’s interview with Neil Brennan, but they were discussing SNL. Rogan told it, Neil Brennan and SNL seems like they handicapped themselves, like they’re handicapping themselves less back then, but now for sure.

If you’re on network television, you’re dealing with so many executives. They’re all terrified, and everyone’s scared, and everyone’s ideologically captured. There’s certain things you can’t joke roundabout. It’s like, God, there’s so much ground you can’t cover, and it’s just you handicap yourself. You just handicap yourself.

The real problem is the format is so restrictive, the fact that you have to break for commercials, the fact that you have a specific amount of time, all that you just can’t compete with the Internet because of that, you just can’t. I don’t think SNL’s problem is the commercials, because you can move those around a little bit, and ninety minutes is plenty of time, and you can cut sketches. It’s the network TV part. You can’t curse, you can’t be out there. That’s the big issue that said we’re clean.

Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffigan, Mike pro Biglia for the most part. Brian Reagan Me, that’s right. I’m in the same class as Jeff Foxworthy, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffikin Mike Boerman related humor is actually better than Jim Gaffigan’s. So we’ll get to that in a bit. Conan O’Brien Must Go is finally premiering today on HBO Max Max HBO.

Yes, this is not the long awaited variety show that was a rumor, but finally Conan has made something for HBO. The Wall Street Journal says Conan O’Brien Must Go asks a lot travel show based on a podcast two programming phenomena of which there is certainly no shortage, and the resulting comedy is crazily uneven and profoundly unrehearsed. The av Club said Max’s travel show will delight Coco fans. There will be obligatory food tasting, dress up site gags galore, all the while our hero will wield the full instrument of his pale long form as only he can, to draw laughter a discuss from all who behold him. I’ll check that over the weekend.

David Cross is recruiting his super pals for a star studded show in Central Park Summer Stage at Central Park, New York City, August eighth, all Right, John Who’s playing David Cross, of course, Bob Odenkirk Sour Silverman, Fred Armison, Sean Patton, Zack Zucker, Shane Torres and more to be announced. That’s pretty cool. Tickets go on sale tomorrow at ten am Eastern from Fox, your Home for comedy News. Actor John Leguizamo attacked to Pinata in a fit of rage on Tuesday after learning Donald Trump was gaining support among Latino voters, express dismay, saying, I mean, clearly Trump isn’t making any effort to get Latino voters or make them a priority. But the thing that hurts the most is that his lazy strategy is actually working.

Apparently a leg Waszamo let out a string of curse words in Spanish aimed at Trump while attacking the pinata. Jimmy Carr doing the Rounds promoting as Netflix special I chose not to watch it Tuesday night. I was home in front of the TV and I could not stay awake, so I held off on that. Jimmy Carr said he was close to death when he was diagnosed with meningitis as a child. He was on the podcast Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way, and he said, my first memory is a lumbar pucksher in Limerick in the general hospital.

I was three, and I think I was always told it was very close to death. The doctor sort of went, it’s going to be very painful, and somehow it heard the phrase and I went, you’ve got to be cruel to be kind in a little child’s voice, and I kind of appreciated that thing of life because I was always told, oh, you nearly didn’t make it. He discussed how we would like to die now that he’s older. Jimmy said, I want my kids and the people to love me, to be able to tell a story like, oh, Jimmy died. Funny story.

You flew to South Africa, and he went on one of those great shark cage experiences and he forego the cage. He said, no cage for me. Thanks, I’ll just jump in there with a fish. And I was ravaged by sharks. That would be a way to go.

That was a setup for a shark story. He said. Recently, I was swimming with a friend in Key West and there were sharks in the water and one sort of flipped around. Would be swimming with these small sharks all day, and we slightly misjudged the size of this thing was enormous, and it flipped around and it came at us, and I remember just thinking of the old joke. I don’t have to outrun the bear.

I just have to outrun you. Just swim faster than my mate Henry. Now, we got back on the boat and the guys went, these are just reef sharks and I went, yeah, with the black tip on the fin and they went, oh whoa. Jimmy said, but I think being torn apart by sharks that’s a great story for everyone. Yesterday we did an intervention for Jim Gaffigan.

Ricky Gervase is out howking his vodka and Jim paying attention to Ricky, this is how you do it. Hi, I’m Ricky Gervas and I’m an actor, so I really care about stuff and I want you to care about stuff too. This is Dutch Bond vodka. It’s made from British apples. It tastes great, and the bottle is one hundred percent recyclable, so it helps the environment, which as an actor I really care about.

And it’s the only vodka I drink on the private jet. So Dutch Bond, that’s it. Jim, just do that. Don’t try too hard. Ricky knows we’re in on the joke.

Jimmy trying too hard with that Chris Rock is the voice of a new campaign by the National Basketball Association. You may know them as the NBA. The article I’m cribbing from describes the National Basketball Association as a global sports and media organization. Thanks the campaign is word playoff mode. This gets old pretty fast.

I’ll place some of it so you can get a taste of Chris Rock. Here is playoff Jason a thing? Playoff Jason is not a thing. Okay, Tatum, we all know it’s a thing. Look at the evid, just as playoff Spider’s not a thing.

Blunto Caid, deny it? I mean, is that official? No? No, no, are you serious? Oh?

I see he’s got on it. You get the idea. Mike Ebbs talked about his friendship with Shaquille O’Neill. This was on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Apps told Jimmy Kimmel Shack’s my man, suggesting that Chack is the kind of guy who’d give a Lamborghini to anyone.

Had said, I ain’t give it up on that. I’m keeping that for myself. Earlier in the year, Shack named his favorite comedians. They included Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor Mike Epps. Kate Williams says the article.

I don’t think Kate Williams is correct. I’m gonna guess cant Williams. Is there a comedian Kate Williams. Let’s check who knows? Maybe she’s hilarious comedian Kate Williams.

Enter well, Google said, including results for comedian Kat Williams. But they’ve offered me the opportunity to search only for comedian Kate Williams. Let’s do that, Ah, Kate Williams, stand up comedian. I’m on just Theetonic dot com. This is a fun lark.

Kate Williams is fresh on the UK circuit and she’s coming in hot. Starting out as a flyer with delusions of grandeur, Kate now sells jokes to whoever will listen, and also to the ones who won’t. Now, I’m not finding any comedy by Kate Williams. And when I search for Kate Williams, a lot of stuff comes up from some comedian named Kat Williams who seems to have done some sort of noisy interview a few months ago. Anyway, Shaquille O’Neill’s favorite comedians are Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Mike Epps, Corey Holcom and Kate Williams Little housekeeping.

I do see on people dot com there’s a big article about Olivia Munn discussing her battles with cancer. Mulaney is tangentially mentioned, but it just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that we do here on this podcast while googling Kate Williams for laughs. But if you want to read up on Olivia Munn, you can do that on People. Laura Murley will record her first comedy special. She specializes in set up, punchline jokes and one liner is rather than storytelling.

She admires and is influenced by Mitch Hedberg and Maria Bamford. You can catch her at the Flophouse Comedy Club in Brooklyn tonight. Donald Glover is working on some sort of anime. Not much is known about it. And let’s see what’s happening at the festivals, John, did you preload Melbourne?

Nope? As we’re getting a little long here, I’ll tell you some shows. I won’t pull clips today, Tomorrow I’ll pull a bunch of clips. How about that Blake Pavey, that’s the guy who told you about at the end of yesterday’s show. He’s the one that got into it with the old man, all right.

Blake Bavey is playing the age, says. Pavee’s stand up delicately weaves elements of darkness and light, moving the audience to the brink of tears, before landing a hefty punch line that leaves them in that stitches no clip. But Blake’s show is called Still kick In. Maybe go there and heckle him so you can make the news. Maddy Week’s show is called Never Gonna Die This at storytime Melbourne is a picture of Maddie with a skeleton puppet almost looks Jeff dunham ESQ.

This show will cure everything that’s wrong with you. With one simple payment of fifteen to twenty five Australian dollars, you can become immortal and never experience a bad emotion ever again. Wow, that sounds pretty cool. Beat Magazine calls the show a force to be reckoned with. In the comedy scene, I guess they call Maddy a force to be reckoned with.

The plus Ones says entirely captivating. Squirrel Comedy calls Maddy Weeks a charming and funny young comedian, a great person to spend an hour with. Shane Daniel Burn’s show is called but He’s Gay. That’s a funny title. Award winning Shane Daniel Byrne is Irish Comedy’s new wonder kin in his mid thirties.

Once considered an exciting talent of contemporary performance arreat in Dublin, he messed that up and is now a comedian selling out shows around the UK. David o’darty calls him my favorite new Irish comedian for many years.

Meanwhile, in Dubai, did you see they had so much rain?

Now? I did google Dubai Comedy Festival Rain to see if anything was canceled. Nothing came up, but I do see that the Metro is having issues from all the rain. So if you’re on your way to Zarnagarg’s a Show or Desi Laughs or Stand Up Bell Masery. Those are the three shows today you might want to check on the metro service or to make sure that the show’s actually happening.

Stand Up Bell Masery, Egypt’s first comedy factory is back with Bell Masony. Volume two is showcase of an all star lineup of the finest Egyptian comedians. Belle Mastery, which translates to in Egyptian, will feature some of Egypt’s funnies men and women as they strut their stuff, etc. That’s at the Coca Cola Arena, so it must be a pretty big show. And we’ll finish up with Moontower because that’s going to be pretty robust today.

Oh yeah, pull up a chair. This is going to take me a minute. All right, six o’clock, Ian Carmel and Friends. Six point thirty Natalie Palamedes. I don’t care what comes up, and I see what just came up.

We’re going to see Natalie. I think she’s fantastic, which means Johnny Mack is making you miss Mark Maron at seven o’clock. Now. I love Maren. You guys know I love Maren.

But we can see Maren on Netflix. I guess we could see Natalie on Netflix as well. Her last special was on Netflix and it’s fantastic. But I would want to go see Natalie. Seven o’clock, New York’s Finest seven o’clock.

Moontower, A mystery show. Seven o’clock. James a Domian boy. He’s great too, A lot of great choices seven o’clock. Celebrity Memoir book Club seven thirty hit list.

Any names you would know, they’re most likely not Britannic at seven thirty. I always love seeing shows like that. The joke of painting Andy Kindler On that one, there’s a logo that makes you think of Bob Ross, but is clearly legally distinct. Let’s see what this show is. Imagine if art Icon Bob Ross taught one of those wine fueled ladies’ night painting classes.

Now imagine we’ve replaced Bob Ross with a few comedians. Okay, that sounds like a good time. But we’re at Natalie Palamedia’s show eight o’clock. Oh, this is so good too. Tag it at the Creek of the Cave.

Sclar Brothers, Todd Barry Rosebud Baker, Jeremiah Watkins, Chloe Trost, Liza trigger Does. Sclar Brothers invite their hilarious friends to do sets while they sit off stage writing tags to pitch the comics on stage. Oh, what a great thing. I might have to cheat here and see if Natalie’s playing tomorrow. She’s not.

These are some great shows. Lucas Zelnick at eight o’clock. Sarah Schaeffer at eight thirty. Hypothetically we saw her yesterday. Olivia Flood wall Ily at eight thirty two Dykes and a Mic.

I love these titles. Nine o’clock Stars in Bars. The stars include Sam Jay, Shane Torres, Drew Lynch, James Domian and some others. At nine o’clock The Canadians of Comedy, Miss Patt at nine thirty, Stamptown nine thirty, Surrounded nine thirty, Andy Kindler at nine thirty, Rachel Feinstein nine thirty, Killers, ten thirty, Unzipped at eleven Best of the Fest after Party, and the gosh Darn Comedy Jam at eleven thirty. That’s always a good show, all right, We’re doing Natalie at six thirty.

You’re just gonna have to trust me on this, So let’s assume an hour and a half there, so we’ll be free around eight when you and I pretend to go to comedy festivals. Don’t forget we have magic time traveling ability where we can get across town in five seconds. So let’s see at eight o’clock we’ve seen Sarah Schaeffer already. Hmm, should we wait to nine o’clock? Want to do Canadians of comedy you want to do Rachel Kindler’s gotten a little negative for me, especially on Twitter.

Let’s do Canadians of Comedy and then let’s do the gosh darn Comedy Jam at eleven thirty tomorrow is very robust as well. And that is your comedy news for today. Hey, don’t forget. I also host five Good News Stories, Number five Good News Stories. Apple has been promoting that for three weeks, so that thing took off.

Thank you Apple Podcast. All right, see you tomorrow