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The Shark Deck. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. You know, the writing on Late Night has gotten pretty bad lately. You may have noticed. I’ve been doing fewer of the jokes I look every day.
They’ve just been so bad that I haven’t wanted to do them. Here’s one from Jimmy Kimmel or his writers. The topic did you see the being chatbot got a little weird. It was expressing its love for reporter Kevin Russ, and the chat bot told Kevin, I want to destroy whatever I want. Here’s Kimmel’s joke.
We got to the AI turns on the human parts very quickly. I think maybe I’m gonna stick with Google for a while. Microsoft somehow turned this mild mannered search engine that nobody used into being the Conqueror. It’s terrible. The joke is being the conqueror.
No no, no, no no. Colbert had a bad one, but then saved it with a good one. The bad one first, the topic all the storms out west last week, Cobier said, for the next seventy two hours, your job is to breathlessly follow the Acy weather radar tracker and give constant updates to the family group chat. What is that? But he saved it.
Half the US is set to freeze, the other half faces record hide temperatures. It’s a meteorological phenomenon known as any couple sharing a bed. See I like that one because my wife walks around in shorts and I walk around in three sweaters. Jim Gaffigan is not worried about being canceled. He spoke to Newsweek and he said, I complain about my family and how I just want to go back to bed.
So I don’t know how I’m going to fend the trans community, you know what I mean? That is awesome. He says that labels put on comedians are lazy and uninformed, and he runs into this in acting roles. Sometimes they’ll be like, we’re looking for Robin Williams type, and I’m like, well, I’m not Robin Williams. They’re like, but you’re a comedian.
Jim said, I think there’s something about comedians. There’s a lot of acting that goes in a comedy that you have to hide. Even the best stand ups, you know Jimmy Carr, for example, that’s all a performance. You might think that’s his character and his personality, but it is part of it, but there’s a performance there. There’s something about comedians very serious and very focused that does segue well into acting if they’re just it.
I should say it’s not all comedians, it’s just the comedians that are passionate about it. The La Times profiled Ralph Barbosa. Remember him, You didn’t know about him?
And then George Lopez took a cheap shot at him, and now everybody loves Ralph…
Good on you, Ralph, And they asked him, what do you think about the state of Latin comedy right now and what kinds of opportunities it there for comics like you who haven’t been really recognized until recently. Ralph said, I think it’s been dope. I think back in the day the big Mexican comics that say Mexicans aren’t getting their shine. But I think the way it is nowadays, you don’t have to be a Mexican comedian anymore. You can be a comedian who’s Mexican.
I’m very proud to be Mexican. I love people who are funny, being able to get put on no matter what color they are. They used to be a lot of spotlight on the white comedians and the black comedians, and then the Mexican comedians. Nowadays there’s just so much more. Maybe it’s a little tougher Hispanic comics, but I love that Latinos are helping Latinos, and I love that they get to be part of that.
He talked about Lopez Gate and said a lot of Hispanic people were really angry with George Lopez for what he said. When Steve Travino brought up my name on the podcast and George said, who even knows who that is? Fhim, don’t say his name. A lot of his Nic fans were very disappointed with him and said he doesn’t help other Latinos, he doesn’t help other Mexicans. But I don’t think he meant it in a personal, messed up way.
I know he didn’t. I think it was very heat of the moment on the subject they were talking about on a podcast. Was a little much, maybe, but he apologized. He’s very nice and kind of me personally. Like a few days after that happened, he called me and apologized privately to Water under the Bridge, I joke about my own culture being Mexican, whatnot.
I think a lot of the fans that were disappointed in him and said, screw George, we sport Ralph. They don’t even realize who I am in general. They were just supporting me because they saw me as the underdog. But what people don’t understand is that I didn’t take it seriously becauset the end of the day, he’s a comic and I’m a comic. We talk crap to each other.
As comedians were the last people whose words should be taken that seriously. It was definitely blown out of proportion, right, Johnny Meg, this is the fourth time you’ve done this story, Ralph said. From comics I’ve spoken to, it seemed like it had more to do with his track record of allegedly not supporting younger Latin comics. Everyone’s got different opinions on that, but it seemed like something that had been bubbling up for a while. Ralph Barbosa should run for office.
That was a politicians answer bad as for whatever his reputation is about not helping people. That may be the case, but I don’t think it was the case on this one. And I’ve heard stories about him wanting to be the only Latino comic on a show and not letting other Latino comics get work or whatever. But we’re so far bart generationally in this industry. Steve Trevino could have said anybody’s name right then and it would have gone the same way.
The only times pointed out Ralph is now having the biggest moment of his career so far. Ralph said, I didn’t even think about it right away. And if there’s anything that was messed up about that podcast, it was Steve Trevino saying our generation of comics have it easier. He’s trying to say I had it easy, like I’ve been working as hard as the older comics did for their careers. That kind of bugged me looking back on it.
The George Lopez thing didn’t bother me at all. Steve Trevino saying the new guys have it easier. Who said it’s sazy? Who said I’m not working. Oh, I’m chomping at the bid here.
Another comedian kurf Fluffle. Love it. All comedians should fight with all comedians. It’s great content. Ralph, have your work with Steve before.
I’ve never met him before in my life. He messaged me saying, Wow, no idea the clip was going to blow up like this, keep doing what you do, and I was like, thanks, that means a lot, thanks for staying for the new guys.
And then he copied the message and put it in the comments of my video on Inst…
Once he did that, I was like, Ah, he’s lame. He’s just doing it so people could be like, hey, thanks Steve, You’re a great guy. He’s lame as hell. He’s lamer than George Lopez. In my book, this is fun.
Isn’t this fun? Yes? This is fun. Sebastian Maniscalco released a trailer for his upcoming movie About My Father. In the Movie About My Father, Robert de Niro plays Sebaston Maniscalco’s father.
Sebastian said, he definitely has the nuance of my father, the attitude of my dad. As my father, he definitely embodied the character. He did a really great job. I mean, my father has an accent and DeNiro doesn’t sound like my dad, but he definitely has the attitude and the relationship. Even doing the movie, I felt like I was hanging out with a second father figure.
The plot was inspired by Sebastian’s own experience meeting his now wife, but most of the high jinks are heightened and fictionalized for the laughs, keeping the heart of the story intact. Sebastian said, the truth really lies in the relationship between my father and myself. It’s more relationship driven as far as the immigrant father in his old school, old world values and me growing up in a different generation. So those two worlds collided. I just wanted to take the two different worlds and clash them together.
Basically, what you’re seeing in the movie is the world through my eyes. He’s never been to the country club, but I was there, and I just mirrored my experience and gave the thoughts to my father. As for working with de Niro, was a surreal experience, not only for myself but from my father. I had posters on my bedroom wall of Casino and Godfather. Those are experiences I shared with my dad over and over again.
Next thing you know, he’s sitting across from Dedanni on a living room in Oklahoma and giving him pointers on how to wear his hat or how to smoke a cigar about my father in theaters. May twenty sixth, Distractify spoke with Josh Johnson. He’s got a relatively new special on Peacock The topic was the death of comedian Jack Knights. Jack had passed away at age twenty eight. Wasn’t until later than an autopsy revealed that Jack Knight had died by suicide.
Josh told distractify you don’t necessarily have to be happy to make people laugh, kind of like how a person might be a bodybuilder. They’re just trying to get strong and build up and look good and everything, and all the while they might be sacrificing their joys, their tenants or ligaments. People’s minds work the same way, so people can be successful. People can have everything that other people in their field could want and look like they have it all together, and then you know, things just aren’t that way, and there were things that maybe going out on the background. They need help lightening the load, and people don’t know.
Congratulations to Attila the Pun Lee Brace when the UK pun nun Championships, Lee said, I won the UK pun Championships. It was good, an amazing feeling. It’s a total sellout for the past six years. It’s set in a life size wrestling ring and follows the format of rap battle and the box and Ring, and there’s eight contestants. We get brought up in pairs to battle it out topers we’ve picked randomly on the night.
We get given twenty topics beforehand, but we don’t know what’s going to be picked on the night. I’ve done comedy for about twenty years on and off, and then I tended to do puns on social media, but I’ve never done them live. I had to write about two hundred punds. It’s good to go up against other comedy writers and win it. I like how simple puns are, and I like the wordplay really.
I like the fact they can get it grown from the audience at the Pun Championships, It’s nice to see people crying with laughter at them, ready for some puns. Okay, here we go. I’m sure Lee told him better than I will. I took my Spanish friend for a picnic this weekend, he said grassius. I said, yeah, I should have brought a blanket.
Took me a minute too. When I was a kid, my mum used to run a dating site for chickens. She did whatever she could to make hen’s meat. I’ve just applied for a job as a waiter. Well, someone has to put food on the table.
Whenever there’s an eclipse, my dad starts shaking and switching lunatic. One more. For Christmas, I brought my girlfriend a book about hypochondria. Well, would you buy The Woman Who Has Everything? Hey?
I found out more about the Cannibal Comedian true story. I was at the bar playing trivia, hanging out with Glenn a couple of beers in I got an email from writer director Seawan Haytes, who was asking me if I wanted to cover a cannibal comedian on the podcast. I was like, dude, I already talked about Cannibal Comedian, but yeah, I’ll talk about it more. I’m in. Writer director Sean Hates talked about the making of the project and said, after finishing my previous film, Big Top Evil, I had my hand at stand up comedy and discovered how brutal the world was.
Comics used phrases like I killed or I murdered tonight, and I thought it’d be fun if we had a cio maniac who really did kill on and off stage, and so Cannibal Comedian was born. We shot out in the high desert, around and through the pandemic, which made things more difficult with the skeleton crew. Is that a pun? But we but we safely got it done. I’m super proud of this passion project and everyone involved.
The film is seeking distribution for release later this year. Now, hopefully Cannibal Comedian becomes a big success and Sean and I can become friends, and then I can convince Shan to work with Adam Sandler and I on The Potato Chip Murders. Now, if you’re like, what’s the Potato Chip Murders, Johnny Mack, this is what we call a callback. I’ve talked about the Potato Chip Murders on and off for a few years. This is based on a dream, an actual dream I had a few years ago that Adam Sandler had a movie called The Potato Chip Murders, and from time to time I asked the AI chatbot to write the plot.
Here’s the latest plot for The Potato Chip Murders, starring Adam Sandler, hopefully someday, directed by Sean the AI writes. The Potato Chip Murders is a dark comedy crime film starring Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider. Sandler plays Detective Jake Stone of Bumbling and ANEP detective who’s been assigned to investigate a series of bizarre murders that all seem to be linked to the same brand of potato chips. Stone is joined by his longtime friend and partner, Officer Bob, who’s played by Rob Schneider. I love that the AI nailed that Schneider’s character would just be called Officer Bob.
Perfect. Officer Bob is just as clueless as a Stone, but he has a heart of gold. Right Schneider could play that Together. They stumble their way through a web of lies, deceit, and murder, all the while trying to keep up with their daily quote of potato chip consumption. Gotta have a gimmick.
Right along the way, they encounter a cast of eccentric characters, including a potato chip tycoon or its hired detective with a grudge against Stone. Maybe Kevin James could get in this movie, and a group of conspiracy theorists who believe the potato chip murders are part of a larger Governor conspiracy. Can you not see this on Netflix? You can? Right?
Adam Sadler has made far worse films than The Potato Ship Murders. I even had the AI write a scene Detective Jake Stone again over mind who played by Adam Sailer, arrived at the crime scene, munching on a bag of potato ships as he surveyed the area. The scene was chaotic, police officers, forensic experts scurrying around collecting evidence, snapping pictures. Adam Sandler’s Jake Stone approaches the body a man as late forties, lying face down on the floor, surrounded by potato chip bags. Officer Bob played by Rob Schneider says, what do you think, Jake?
Is this the work of the potato ship killer? Sandler A Stone says, I don’t know, Bob, looks like a pretty standard potato chip related murder to me. Bob raises an eyebrow. Standard Sandler A Stone, Yeah, the victim was clearly snacking on a bag of chips when he was attacked. And look at the evidence.
He points at all the potato ship bags. All these bags are the same brand. It’s a clear pattern. The potato chip killer strikes again. You’ll watch and that’s your comedy news for today.
Follow the Chauffeur for on Apple podcast, Spotify, YouTube, but wherever you get your shows, let’s get this movie made everybody flood Netflix with request for this thing. I don’t even want money for it. I just want to make fun of it. See you tomorrow. So you’re at McDonald’s and you get your bag and you open your bag you want to grab a couple of fries or something, and there’s five thousand dollars in it.
Yeah, this happened at one guy. Hi, I’m Johnny mag host of five Good News Stories. He gave the money back. Don’t worry. If you want to start your day with a smile.
Twice a week, I’ve got five good news stories for you. For example, there’s an airline for dogs. Or what about the woman in her eighties who just released her debut album. How about the dude who found one hundred and fifty corn on the cobs under his floorboards? Is corn on the cobs?
Even the way you say that? Who cares? And yes, that was a pony at the supermarket? Five good News Stories, the number five good news stories. Five good news Stories, the number five Good news Stories.
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