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Caloroga Shark Media phonus episode about the roast of Tom Brady and all the great stuff from Netflix over the weekend. The regular episode from Monday is earlier in this feed. I’m just talking as I think here, so this will be a little more free form than usual. But Wow, I mean in the Roast of Tom Brady, what keeps going through my head was the super Bowl of comedy. If they ever did that again and made the comedian list a little bit stronger.
You add a Chappelle or a Melaney to that day asn’t wow. But boy, great job Netflix. Oh my goodness, what an amazing special three hours roasting Tom Brady. I kept notes. I shared the notes as we went along in the Facebook group.
I’ve got a notepad here. Where do we start? Kevin Hart Man crushed it now. On previous podcasts, I have said that I don’t find Kevin Hart all that funny. Sunday Night, Kevin Hart you were awesomely funny.
He’s slate as far as I’m concerned. Let him host all of these for now. On Wow, Kevin opened by saying they were already roast the greatest quarterback of all time, and then said, wait, Joe Montana is here some good lines from Kevin. I’ve never seen Englewood so white. It’s so bleeping white in here.
It looks like a Bruce Springsteen concert. Just let out. Kevin joked about why they were doing it in the Forum and not the Crypto dot com arena. Kevin said, the reason we didn’t go there is we didn’t want to remind Tom’s fans of how much money he owes them. He f those people fing good, didn’t he?
But the joke I kept misquoting to my wife. That really stuck with me. Kevin Hart with an absolute sleigh, and some people were like, Tom Brady might regret doing this. Kevin said, single life is what you deserve because you had no choice. Jesse Elle said, you retire, We’re done.
Let me tell you something. When you got a chance to go eight and nine and all all the costumes, your wife and kids, you gotta do what you gotta do. You know what that’s called, Tom, That’s called real stuff f them kids. Wow. All right, So Kevin crushes passes over to Jeff Ross.
Ross walks out in an O J Simpson jersey that said, roast Jay Simpson at number thirty two. Jeff Ross a pro at this the roast master right, so he crushes, So we’re two for two in hilarious. Next up was Drew Bledsoe. Drew Bledsoe the quarterback of the Patriots before Tom Brady. He was really good.
I assume Jeff Ross and the writers wrote Drew’s material, but he executed it really well. And as the night went on and we had other non comedians performing, it really showed what a good performer Drew Bledsoe was. Nicky Glazer got up and I wrote the note that the first few minutes it sounded like she was executing someone else’s material. They just sounded to my ear like Jeff Ross jokes. But then Nicky got in the groove and got some of the best reactions of the night.
One of hers lays, Seriously, Tom, you’re the best to ever play. For too long, you were tired, you came back, then you’re retired again. I get it. It’s hard to walk away from something that’s not yourgnant girlfriend. She tagged that with Hey, to be fair, he didn’t know she was pregnant.
He just thought she was getting fat. Wow. Next up Randy Moss wide receiver. That was the first lull of the night. Okay, we understand.
Kim Kardashian got up, She was booed, she added nothing. She sounded like she was executing Jeff Ross jokes. That makes sense. Bert Krascher and Tom Segura got up together and had really uncomfortable energy. They were doing that side to side rock that you’ll see high schoolers do when they’re on a stage in front of their classmates.
Sagora landed some jokes. Bert Kraser ate it, as they say in the business. I don’t know what was going on there. Sam Jay was all right. I actually wrote time to get the ball back to Kevin Hart.
There started to be a lull there. Will Ferrell came out as Ron Burgundy. As I wrote on Facebook, Will Ferrell has been coasting on reputation for over a decade now. Will was not funny to the point that I wrote in my notes, Bill Belichick was funnier than Will Ferrell, Bill Strong material, whoever wrote it, he just wasn’t that good at delivering it, but still funnier than Will Ferrell doing the thing. Will.
I don’t know then, what a nice spotlight for Tony Hinecliff. If you don’t know Tony and kill Tony. You’re going to Now this probably really elevated that whole thing he crushed. They did a bit of kill Tony called kill Tommy. They pulled a name out of the hat.
There was one name in the hat. It was Dana White from the UFC. Dana was pretty tight. Tony facing backlash over a joke about Kim Kardashian and brother New York Post. As the post points out, Hingecliff, known for insul comedy, was discussing the Will Ferrell movie Anchorman and it’s famous whales vagina line.
The controversial joke from Tony Hinchcliff wales vagina, which reminds me Kim Kardashian’s here. She’s had a lot of black men celebrating her end zone Kim word of advice, closer legs. Then he got a little too naughty for this podcast. One social media user wrote, slutsha women in front of a crowd of people and making women the butt of a joke for absolutely no reason is so disrespectful And what’s the punchline? Misogyny?
It’s a roast, That’s what a roast is. Then grunk got up. He had some okay material. I wrote, working too fast, but he’s not a comic. Andrew Schultz, then Krush showing what a pro can do.
Very fun, great pacing. Robert Kraft spoke, didn’t really make too many jokes. Ben Affleck awful, he was really boring. I actually facebook posted give Affleck the light. The light being the thing they do in the back of a comedy club telling a comedian it’s time to wrap it up after Affleck set, Jeff Ross jokes this is the only time I wish Netflix had commercials.
People were making fun of ben afflex bad plastic surgery. One person tweeted Ben Affleck’s face looks insane. Another person wrote, ben Affleck couldn’t afford good plastic surgery. No wonder he seems so angry that’s permanent. His set did not go overwhell some comments on social ben Affleck going on an unhinged rant about fans on social media at the Tom Brady Rose was not on my bait card.
Another fan compared it to a car crash. A third said, next time, get somebody else to do it. Don’t ever invite Ben Affleck again. I doubt we’ll have Ben Affleck at the roasta of Donald Trump or whatever the next thing is. Peyton Manning got up, had some good material.
He worked his material too quickly. Same note I’ve said before, he’s not a comedian, so I get it.
And then Tom Brady himself got up.
Brady had the delivery of a high school valedictorian, but the material was pretty good. He shot back at everyone. Peyton Manning, thank you so much for coming out to LA to do this. I know you sometimes live in Denver and sometimes you live in Louisiana, but you’ll always live in my shadow. That was pretty good.
On Kevin Hard. I’ve heard some people talk about me having bad knees. My knees are so messed up, Kevin, because I spent so many hours on the floor begging Netflix to get CHAPPELLEO. Ho’s this good rip on Kim, Thank you so much for being here. I know Kim was terrified to be here tonight, not because of this, but because their kids are home with their dad.
That a Kanye West joke. In case you didn’t follow Tom making big NFL news that I’m sure is going to be analyzed, he said, remember to flight Gate, the NFL spent twenty million dollars and found it was more probable than not that I was generally aware that someone may have deflated my footballs. You could have just given me the twenty million dollars and I would have just told you I often did it. But then Tom Brady made this horrible, mean joke about Taylor Swift. Here.
Let’s listen, Kansas City. You say your stadium is the loudest. It helps when all your fans are fourteen year old girls. Oh man, that is so mean. I feel bad for Taylor.
Everybody always making jokes about her all the time, and they’re so vicious. Tom tag that with a joke about the chiefs eras terrible for fifty years, good for five. I’m skimming my notes here to see what I missed. A good one from Tom Sigora and Bert Krasier. I forget which one of them said this joke, but the line was the only difference between Tom Brady and Hitler is that Hitler stuck with his wife until the end.
Ouch. That’s great. Oh, here’s the Dana White joke from Andrew Schultz. That’s who it was from. That’s why Dana White is here so you can learn how to screw a Brazilian out of half their purse.
Before the event, Tom Brady said, it’s like a football game. You run over with a game plan, then you gone and see how the stratguy goes and you’re just in the fly. This is what a locker room’s been like for me all these years, so it’s not like I’m used to people not making fun of me. There was a weird moment that’s gonna be talked about a lot. Jeff Ross had made a reference to Patriots owner Robert Kraft getting a massage.
Brady walked up to Ross and said in his ear, don’t say that stuff again. It was caught on the microphone and it was awkward. I’m sure someone will dive into that, and I’m sure the spin will be that Tom was kidding. Yeah, huh. Some people thought we were gonna have a Will Smith moment.
That would have been amazing, because that moment was I don’t know, fifteen minutes in at a special That would have been great to see a Will Smith moment, and then two and a half hours of awkwardness. Good joke by Tom Brady about Peyton Manning when I heard there was a slow white Bronco heading down the four or five to come here tonight. I thought we might actually see a real football legend. Kevin Art said, I love he’s embracing the things that some people thinks he runs away from. It’s a celebration of great and we’re doing it in a fun way.
Right, let’s take the break, we’ll come back, We’ll taw Kat Williams, Seinfeld and Mulaney. I was all jazzed to watch Kat Williams, and I finally got to watch it Sunday around six thirty. So it was a nice appetizer for the Tom Brady. It was okay, back to the whole special verse hour thing. I felt Kat Williams felt special.
It was live, a big, good looking theater. The set, the physical set looked great. It looked like an event. I don’t know what I was looking for from Cat. Maybe I just wanted him to just tear everybody down.
He didn’t really do that. I found it really compelling. I was definitely entertained. He is an entertainer. I’m not sure how funny the special was.
And as I watched it, I noticed Kat will set up jokes for a full forty five seconds and get an ok punchline. It’s more style than laughs, but I do enjoy watching him. I did add it to my best of twenty twenty four list, which right now number one. Roast of Tom Brady to a Tel three, Triumph, four Days, Cross, five, Dusty Sleigh, six Canines, seven to Meet You more Than eight, Jimmy Carr nine, Kat Williams ten, Hannah Gatsby’s gender agenda. For the top tier, I’d probably draw the line after David Cross.
All Right, Tom Brady, Attel, Triumph, and David Cross are your top tier right now. I’ve said this three four times already this year, that it’s gonna be hard to top X. I thought Cross was great, and then Triumph was better, and then Detail showed you how it’s done. But that roast of Tom Brady three hours, and I’ve talked about how I’m a comedy snob and I don’t laugh at stuff. I was chuckling out loud most of the night.
Will be really tough to beat anyway. Kat Williams, it was fine. I took notes to see what else I wrote. I do want to point out I watched the edited version, not the live version. I’m not sure if that mattered.
He started heading for trans material and I was like, really, can we just not do that? That’s really it, Kat Williams. It was fine, watchable, you’ll enjoy it. I watched the Pop Tarts movie Unfrosted. I loved it.
Actually, I need to add that to the list. That was really good as well, really enjoyable. I’m not sure. I don’t. I’ll think about where I’m gonna add it, but I’m gonna just leave myself a note to at it while I have my best of list open.
I like a movie that knows what it is, and that movie knows what it is. It’s silly, turn your brain off. Nothing there is real. It’s just a lot of fun. There’s some amazing cameos.
There’s one cameo in particular with two people who are known to work together, and I don’t want to spoil it. You may have seen it on the interwebs and I was like, this is great. Jerry’s fine in it. Jim Gaffigan looked like he was five minutes from dying. So I mentioned over the weekend he’s apparently taking ozempic equivalent and I can see why.
I don’t know if they padded him up. He looks terrible in the movie. My wife randomly blurted out that Amy Schumer’s unlikable. You could send her notes. There’s something about Amy Man I don’t know.
She’s fine in it. Jerry doing Jerry things. I loved Hugh Grant in it. I felt he was chewing the scenery. It reminded me of Ricardo Montleban and Star Trek to the Wrath of Kahn.
Just a great performance, having fun over the top. Unfrot I recommend I know on the normal episode that it went out earlier. Today I read a bunch of terrible reviews. I disagree with all of them. I think Unfrosted nailed it.
In Towner reminds me of Weird the Al Yankovic story. Just a fun rop one hour thirty six, which by the way, is the perfect length for any movie.
And then the other thing I watched was John Mulaney Friday Night.
I’ll be curious to see what they do tonight. I actually wrote a substack about it. The substack is free. The link is in the notes, and if you want to read what I wrote, just you know, just open that up. You can subscribe for free, or you can just hit no thanks and read the one.
But basically it was misproduced. We’re long here already and this is a bonus episode, so I’ll let you read my thoughts. But the short version is, you had Jerry Seinfeld sitting there and they decided to take a phone call. I am some sort of radio audio expert. Civilians cannot tell a story.
So you’ve got Jerry there and you’re turning your show over to a random woman who called in to tell a story she thinks is funny. Jerry Seinfeld is sitting there with what are you doing? Misproduced? Then they threw it to a pre recorded piece that was terrible, and then when it came back from that, Seinfeld was gone. I’m like, yeah, had Jerry Seinfeld sitting there?
That said, I saw sparks of mulaney, especially in the first ten minutes. That reminded me of early eighties Letterman, when the set was still brown, not even the blue set, the really early days where you’d get a lot of Chris Elliot, you’d get a lot of Larry bud Melman. There’s something there. I hope somebody at Netflix read my substack and took my notes. I’ll be very curious to see what mulaney does now.
I don’t know if I could step to eleven again. I got in from Cleveland at one forty am on Sunday. Congratulations, Deacon. Mike and my dog had me up at seven point thirty and then up Sunday night past eleven o’clock. I wanted to do this episode Sunday night.
I just did have another ninety minutes send me to bang this out. But yeah, mullaney, there’s something there. I’d be really curious to see what he does. My point, I’ve lost my train of thought. Point is, I don’t know if I could say up to eleven o’clock again tonight, So I might have to watch that on one day delay, or maybe I’ll let a bunch of them gather and catch up on that.
But again, if you have Jerry Seinfeld next to you, just use him. Tonight’s guest main guest is John Stewart. The second guest is Gabe Iglesias. As I run on the substack, Johnny Carson would shut up and let his guests be funny. That’s all you have to do.
Hey, here’s John Stewart. Johnny, you’re watching the Trump Stormy Daniels trial and then stop talking. That’s all you gotta do, all right. Normal episode from Monday is earlier in the feed Back Tomorrow substack link in the notes. If you’re just discovering this podcast today, I do this seven days a week.
Check it out. I’ve already blown out my voice and i still have to record Tuesday’s podcast. Not good, all right, see you in the morning.