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Hi, I’m actually recording this after to let you know. I’m very aware I don’t have even my half assed Jerry Seinfeld today, as we will uncover as you listen to today’s podcast, I realize the pollen in my backyard got to me. I have no voice, and I was trying to do half assed Jerry, which is already not the best Jerry impression to begin with, but it’s half assed Jerry. And I’m aware I didn’t even do a good half assed Jerry today. Are you intrigued?
Let’s listen Caloroga Shark Media very home. I’m Johnny Mack with your daily comedy and he was Apparently Jerry Seinfeld did not enjoy not being the lead story on this podcast because he’s back baby. Apparently Jerry got choked up on Tuesday while recalling his trip to Israel after October seventh. He was on Honestly with Barry Weiss. They covered a wide range of topics that got picked up all over the place.
Let’s recap. Jerry said that he often tells the audience that he loves that young people are trying to get engaged with politics, but their aim needs to be corrected. So silly. It’s like, you know, they want to express this in here intense rage, but again a little off target. Jerry called his visit to Israel the most powerful experience of his life.
Weise said, really, Jerry quietly said sure. Yeah. He was asked why Jerry pauses for a long moment, you know, you just you know. Weiss asked, are you thinking of someone in particular? Jerry nodded, rubbed his nose, pulled out a handkerchief, sniffled, and said sorry.
In a different section, he talked about the protesters and told Barry, I love these young people. They’re trying to get engaged with politics. We just have to correct their aim a little bit. They don’t seem to understand that as comedians we really don’t control anything. It’s like they want to express this in here intense range, but again a little off target.
So that to me comedic. Seinfeld then compared both political parties to mobs. They’re mobs believe in their own crab right, that’s what a political party is. We’re gonna make up a bunch of nonsense. We all agree to it.
Let’s print up some bumper stickers and get out there, kids. That’s politics. We’re tribal animals. We’re social creatures. We look for agreement and consensus.
I’m aware I don’t even have my good half assed Jerry Seinfeld today. I’m at about third ass today. I hear it. I’m trying. I wasn’t even planning on recording this one.
I had one that I’m gonna use tomorrow. My schedules a little busy this week. I wasn’t even planning on doing this one. Then I saw the Jerry story. We’re tribal animals, we’re social creatures.
We look for argument consensus. We’re driven by agreement and consensus. And my rule be gives us a comfort, gives a certainty. It’s all ps. Another section, Jerry goes as a man.
Weiss cuts in and goes, are you sure you were? I did not hear pronouns. I always wanted to be a real man, but I never made it. And that hour was Jfko, was Muhammad Ali, was Sean Connery, Howard Cosell. That’s a real man.
I want to be like that someday. No, look at how I dress like an eight year old. I never really grow up. You don’t want to as a comedian. It’s a child just pursuit.
But I misdominant masculinity. I like a real man. That’s why I love you. Grant. He felt like one of those guys I wanted to be.
He knows how to dress, he knows how to talk, He’s charming, he has stories, He’s comfortable at dinner parties, knows how to get a drink. That stuff. Never mind, Jerry Seichfeld, I don’t even have my own voice today. Excuse me. Weiss asked, do you think punching down is the thing?
Like? Is that a real phenomenon? No, I don’t. Comedy’s extraordinary, simple, binary outcome event. It’s funny or it is it?
I nobody cares really about anything else. They talk. It’s a lot of talk. What we really ate is when someone does something that’s not so funny. We didn’t laugh, and now I’m going to criticize it because it didn’t make me laugh.
I really wish I had make good Jerry today. That was good stuff. I just don’t have it. I apologize. Oh wait, there’s more reviews of them frosted.
The only reviews I want to read are the absolute worst reviews at the movie received, because there’s nothing funnier to me than people complaining that I didn’t laugh because they want to laugh. If you’re built right as a stand of comic, you don’t give a flying dot dot dot. I’m doing this gig and getting my laughs, getting the money. I’m getting the hell out of here, and then your review comes out and I’m in another city doing the same thing. There isn’t no one opinion has any value.
Comedians on group think. Whatever the group thinks, that’s the vote. We don’t have to take a vote. That vote’s been taken on that joke. You can hate it.
It’s still a great joke because the laugh is still there. Dave Chappelle was playing Canyon tonight. The Sudden Show was announced less than forty eight hours before. The gig caught many Kenyans by surprise, with many expressing regret it not being able to attempt the Icon’s maiden performance at the Lewis Leaky Auditorium due to the abrupt ticketing. Tickets were going for seven thousand local currency units.
A source told The Nairobi News. The small and intimate venue, I almost read it as Jerry. The small and innimate venue was a condition set by day. He even wanted it to be a smaller audience of a hundreds, so even three hundred was a push. It’s funny, I U Nairobi news source sounds more like Jerry than my Cherry did.
I’m awful today. I’m trying a local comedian. Sea Room Wangi said, I will be one of two opening acts for Dave Chappelle. Even my wildest dreams, I had not seen this. The other opener, Lusavalli added as a comic, this isn’t even in your wildest streams.
But this Wednesday, I’m open for Dave Chappelle and Nairobi, Kenya believe the hype cause that dot Com spoke to Josh Blue, who’s a really cool dude. I met him. It’s got to be over a decade now, but he was really cool. His girlfriend is experiencing unusual vision problems. Josh said, we try to figure out what it was, and it evolved and now the bit is, oh, my vision is getting worse than a can’t pinpoint when it started.
But shortly after the solar eclipse, he says, Jokes can come out of anything. My girlfriend going blind should not be funny. Newsweek published I’ll call it a garbage article, but I need one more story today. The headline Joe Rogan slams his producer during podcast Oh No, What could have possibly happened? Newsweek tells this.
Joe’s there. He’s talking to two guests and they’re about fifty minutes in. The guests are talking about the possibility of artificial intelligence detecting human suffering. Rogan then cut into a complaint to produc her young Jamie. Rogan said, you know what I’m suffering, Jamie.
This coffee sucks. I don’t know what happened, but you made it. It’s literally like almost like water. Can we get some more? Rogan then poured the contents out of his mug, told this guests, We’re gonna talk about this after I’m caffeinated up.
This is the worst coffee I’ve ever had. It’s like half strength or something. I don’t know what happened. This is Newsweek. I’m sourcing Newsweek.
This is an article in Newsweek. Who tell us that the trio then settled back into the conversation. However, ten minutes later, Rogan said, Jamie, this is still super watered down. Jamie said he had just put water in and advised Joe Rogan to let the coffee sit for a second, Rogan said, I’m telling you dog. Jamie said, there’s a ton of coffee in there.
Rogan said, all right, I’ll stir it up. I we’ll figure it out. Some TV fore to watch. I’m catching up on the new season of Hacks, really digging it so far. I think I’m three episodes in.
I’m up to the one that is about late Night. That’s all you need to know about that one. I wanted to watch tires. I logged into Netflix, where I tried to log in in Netflix. The entire family was home and Netflix was like, too many people logged in.
Sucks to be you. So I went back to watching Hacks. Let’s check in with Jim Gaffigan, who you could just hear all the coolness and you know, he wasn’t exactly the funds, but all the coolness just sucking out of him every time he promotes this bourbon. He was on with Rich Ice and let’s listen. So this is father Time Bourbon, Father Time Bourbon.
And by the way, each you know, like Burt by the way, Burton Tom’s vodka, everyone should buy that. But this is a different thing. This is a limited batch. This is I was approached to do a celebrity spirit a couple of times. Uh huh, and I was like, I was worried because sometimes the celebrity spirits aren’t good.
And I also didn’t want it to appear like a cash grab. Yeah, we don’t want to make it seem like a cash grab, Jim. We don’t want that to happen. That would be terrible if anybody got that impression. And so I called a friend after the last time I was pitched, and I was like, from Louisville, from college, and I was like, can’t we just buy a couple of barrels and do our own?
He goes, yeah, we could. I mean, it might be a pain in the ass and you might lose money, though we can do it. I ninety five ask comedian Greg Stone about his opinion on the totally non existent pizza war. DJ Dave said, you’re originally from New Jersey, you live in Queens, and you work in Connecticut. We here in Connecticut had a congressional delegation from New Haven right now down in DC trying to say that Connecticut makes the best pizza the United States have You had the New York and you fire up over this debate.
I can’t even speak. I’m realizing, right before I did this first world problem, I was cleaning pollen off the pool. That’s what’s going on here. All right, this is a mess today. I get it, okay.
Greg Stone is responding to who has the best pizza. Greg says, I’m gonna not be funny here. I’m gonna be very serious. This is what makes me furious. The best pizza is such a dumb thing.
Everything has to be a competition. Everything exists, and it’s amazing. New York pizza is unbelievable. People will crap on Chicago, Connecticut is unbelievable pizza. My favorite place is this spot called Bar.
They have this mashed potato pie in New Haven. Unbelievable. But they don’t have to fight. It doesn’t have to fight a deep dish. I had this conversation the other night with Glenn when we went to the Rolling Stone’s concert.
We were talking about this exact thing. Chicago pizza awesome, New York City pizza awesome. They’re not at all the same thing. We can enjoy both. Greg Stone says, it doesn’t have to fight.
Known as in Queen’s which is one of my favorite pizzas known as nineteen seventy seven. I’d put it against almost anything. It’s all great, and I think we should stop fighting and we should come together and just be a pizza family. And that, because I’m losing my voice, is your comedy news for today, all right. I feel bad that there was probably a better version of this podcast to be done today, but I didn’t even have my half assed Jerry sucks, all right, See tomorrow.