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Calarocas, shock media. Easy one again. Hi, I’m chutting Mac with your Daily Comedy News. Let’s jump in here. Sam Merrill was on Good Day Baltimore.
Let’s listen. Was this with us? This is she’s a rescue, She’s that I saved her. She was getting sexually assaulted by a pack of chihuahuas in Los Angeles. I stepped in, Yeah, and I crescent caped two of them.
You did, and we’ve been together ever since. Is that going to be part of your your routine? Like? What are you gonna see? See this this evening, this weekend?
Hitler genocide, uh Kamala, Trump and poop? Well, all things that are on top of mine for folks the moment they wake up and turn our newscasts on. I don’t want to burn a bridge. I know how you feel about bridges in Baltimore. But oh my goodness, sorry, Sam, we’re gonna take it out here.
Well, funny Friday, it’ going to go the way good Dave Baltimore thought, Sam. Yikes, Gilbert Godfried will have a new album. Gilbert passed away in twenty twenty two. Eight hundred Pound Guerrilla reported on Gilbert’s new album saying Gilbert never put out a comedy album because, according to widow Dana Godfrid on her Instagram page, Gilbert didn’t want to use up as material. But there is a CDDVD called Dirty Jokes, which to me is an album, but okay whatever.
Dana has partnered with Clown Jewels to release Gilbert Gottfried’s first album or second album title to be announced. The album will feature material that was shot for the twenty seventeen documentary Gilbert. In support of the release, there will be an event as part of the New York Comedy Festival at the Hard Rocket Time Square. There’ll be a Q and a panel hosted by Frank Santo Padre, who co hosted Gilbert’s Amazing Colossal podcast. I mentioned that is a podcast episode that will be recorded there so they can run some spots.
Totally get It also debut a short film featuring never before seen footage that was cut from the documentary. All proceeds will benefit the Gilbert Gottfried Myotonic Dystrophe Type two Research Fund at Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester. The album will be released both digitally and on vinyl November thirteenth. Matt Rife going back on tour. We never talk about Matt Rife around here, you know.
He also announced a new feature project. Matt Rife will be among the leads of Rolling Loud, which is an R rated comedy co produced by Live Nation Productions, which will film at the hip hop festival also called Rolling Loud that’s in Miami in December. Rolling Loud inspired by the true story of an overprotective father who makes the worst parenting decision of his life when he sneaks his thirteen year old son into Rolling Loud, the world’s biggest hip hop festival, setting off a chaotic adventure. With his reckless coworker and an eccentric festival volunteers, they navigate wild crowds, security, and copywriting rule of three their own family dynamics. Rife’s tour dates won’t be announced until later this year.
Meanwhile, on gossip Corner, Rife is being criticized for his jaw fillers to the point where fans are saying they can’t watch his new special Wow this from the Sun newspaper. They write, his cheeks appear to have huge dimples in them and the lines by his jaw are prominent. One social media user wrote would be nice if Netflix would stop trying to force me to watch them at Rife Special. His freakish face from jaw Fillers is too alarming to look at. Nikki Glaser’s publicist continues to deserve her raise.
The La Times wrote under the headline, while Nikki Glaser is suddenly the hottest name in comedy. You know, I read the article to pull some stuff out for you, and there’s not really much there. You know the story, especially if you listen to me every day. She was on Tom Brady and then yeah, okay, we got it. She continues to give worrisome quotes.
Let me drop the little to my voice here because I’m being very serious. This this bothers me. This quote, Nikki said, comedy at its best is relatable because we all have to die someday. We’re all terrified of it, and depression comes from not really thinking about it, suppressing it and are subconscious. I was really trying to hide it for a while.
I thought it made me a liability in this business. No one wants to work with someone depressed, but the business doesn’t care. They’re not worried about me killing myself as long as I’m getting laughs with it. It’s going to be okay. I hope Nikki’s got someone in her life looking out for her.
Meanwhile, awkward Segue. Fifty Cent has lashed out at Lunell following her comments about his comedy show. Complex reports that fifty Cents lashed out at Lunell after the legendary comedian said there were no women on his comedy showcase. Sent said proof you can’t make everyone happy. I loved Lunell’s work.
That’s why I had them put her in Ghost. We saw her big ass was booked already, so we didn’t reach out. You think I didn’t want Monique some more Amy Schumer? They on fire? WTF.
Lunell had recently commented, I want to say this game is so misogynistic because I just heard about this comedy festival that my dear friend fifty is having right now. I haven’t seen the paperwork, so I don’t know, but from what I heard, there were several comedians on the plane, but not one female comic. Now this might be a mistake, but this is the information I’ve got. There are men and women in the audiences in those shows. I think that their representation only makes sense.
Recently, mister sent posted a screenshot of a US Weekly article on Instagram about him reaching billionaire status. He added, I don’t want this to make you think I don’t need a discount, because I want a discount. Lol. I had told you CNN has a new Saturday night series, Have I Got News for You? Ten episodes.
It premieres a Saturday, September fourteenth. Johnny Mack has one dollar on the square that says, this runs ten episodes and gets canceled. Why. It’s not because of the talent, it’s because of the time slot Saturday night at nine pm. Who’s home Saturday night at nine pm?
Well I am, but I’m not gonna watch this at Saturday night nine pm. That’s video game time. Or actually no, I usually do the Saturday night movie, often a James Bond film, which is the best James Bond film, Johnny Mack, it is clearly the Spy who Loved Me. I used to say on Her Majesty’s Secret Service. But I think Spy who Loved Me is just perfect.
That all said, of course, Sean Connery is the best Bond. You can comment on the in the Facebook group It’s Daily Comedy News podcast group. We could have a whole James Bond argument. I’m in start one anyway. I digress.
Saturday September fourteenth, at nine pm, when I’ll be watching college football and or a James Bond movie, CNN will air Have I Got News for You. It’s hosted by Roywood Junior, but they’ve added two cast members, Amber Ruffin and Michael ian Black. They will service the captains of the various teams. That is really good hiring great. Michael ian Black, in a statement, said, I’m thrilled to be joining Roywood Junior and Amber Ruffin, as Have I Got News for You’s DEI hire.
I’m looking forward to spreading as much disinformation as possible on America’s most trusted news network. My main focus has been, and will continue to be pleasing my handlers in the Kremlin. Have I Got News for You BBC series since nineteen ninety typically showcases two teams talking about various news stories of the week. But again Saturday night at nine pm. I don’t know, man, all right, let’s get serious here.
Eric Andre posted a clip on Instagram. I’ll let Eric speak for himself for about a minute and change, and then I will jump in. So I’ve been on planes for over twenty five hours. I flew from New York City to LA then to LA to Melbourne, then Melbourne to Brisbane to shoot something. I got detained and I had to go.
I got pulled out of a lineup and put in a special line in Melbourne where I was sniffed thoroughly by a dog. Those dogs are pretty much ineffective. I’ve heard statistics like their eighty to ninety percent ineffective. It’s sniffing out whatever they’re trying to sniff out. It’s like one of the many times I’ve been racially profiled at the airport.
So this is a message for all black, brown and Indigenous people traveling through Melbourne today, especially if you’re traveling Quantus International by terminal two, Please be careful. They are searching black, brown and Indigenous people. Please let me know if anybody knows the names of those officers with the dogs or what that program is. If anybody has information on a discrimination Australian lawyer, I’m all ears, please send me that info. And if anybody has information on statistically how many people of color they put into this dog sniffing line versus white passengers, I’m assuming it doesn’t reflect the percentage of white passengers versus POC passengers at any given time at that airport.
Later in the video, Eric said, anybody hiring me to work in Australia going forward, whether it’s a production or a tour, please don’t make me go through the Melbourne airport alone. Please provide a police escort or some type of security escort for me, or have me flying to Brisbane or Sydney directly. I do not feel safe in the Melbourne airport. I do not want to be humiliated or racially discriminated against any more at these airports. I don’t want to cut my hair and wear three Pece suits.
I’m treated like a first class citizen. I shouldn’t be made to feel that I am unaccepted by entering a country. Shame on the people at the Melbourne Airport that have this cockamaning procedure. I doubt it yields any safer world for anybody in Melbourne or Australia. When I heard the story, it did ring a bell in my brain.
And I’m just gonna share a fact with you, And I don’t want you to think that I’m throwing this in here to make some sort of comment. Factually, Eric Andre previously said he was racially profiled at the Atlanta Hartsfield Jackson International Airport in twenty twenty one and later took legal action. Again, I don’t want you to think I’m being dismissive of Eric Andre’s concerns by throwing that in there. From Late Nighter. Jimmy Kimmel kind of always talking about retiring, and he was on a podcast that’s hosted by California Governor Gavin Newsom, football player marsha On Lynch and their agent Doug Hendrickson.
That’s a weird show. I guess the agent really wanted to have a podcast anyway. Kimmel, so all those guys, I’ll have a hard time when it’s over. It worries me. That’s part of the reason I keep going, he explained.
That’s why he keeps wind up signing another contract because I fear that day the money after my final show, and it’s like, now what am I gonna do? But he points out there aren’t a huge the number of options for late night hosts after the shows are over. I mean, I guess you could do a podcast. Conan seems to be doing okay, so if you want to argue about James Bond movies or just talk about comedy. Joined the Facebook group It is Daily Comedy News podcast group.
Matthew Welcome to the group. Matthew joined over the weekend from Comedy dot co dot uk. It is the funniest joke at the Fringe Festival. Let me just preamble here. These are jokes told by professional comedians in a comedy environment.
You know, so how comedy works. You know, you don’t just show up and just say a line and expect a big laugh. You kind of set the stage and you know how comedy works, right, you’re listening to me. You know, you set up a premise, or the audience is at a good bood, or you’re throwing it aside. You get how this works.
It’s not a dude in his basement recording a podcast. So all these are out of context and we’re told better buying professional comedians. I’ve preambled enough. It is the funniest joke of the Fringe twenty twenty four. Your winner, Mark Simmons, with this professional joke told properly.
I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship, but I bottled it all right, we have fourteen more. Alex Snook. I’ve been taking Salce lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step four, two steps back. I think that’s a better joke.
I also told it better than the first one. Alex Kitson eight horse at a restaurant once wasn’t great. Starter was up right, but the main was dreadful. Did a little plan words there with mean and get it. Arthur Smith went with, I sailed through my driving test, That’s why I failed it.
I like it simple, Mark Simmons again, I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of let baton. Well he came up with the idea and I ran with it. Let’s see that made me actually laugh. That was better Ala Falaffe whole great name went with.
My dad used to say to me pinees Gallon’s leaders, which I think speaks volumes. Love it, Chelsea Burkby. British etiquette is confusing. Why is that high brow to look at boobs at an art gallery but low brow when I get him out in spoons? Spoons it seems to be a restaurant in London.
Masih Graham went with I wanted to know which came first, the chicken or the eggs. I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I’ve cracked it. These are fun. I’m gonna save more of these for Saturday, not tomorrow. Why not to John, because I already recorded a world Okay, okay, you’re on to me.
You’re busted doing a little traveling this week. Sometimes I got to record ahead. A nice job. By The Daily Show they had a dog adoption event was called The Daily Show Presents in Dog’s Vision twenty twenty four, Rescuing Democracy. A last Sunday in Chicago, fans had the chance to meet several correspondents and a whole lot of dogs looking for their forever homes.
Desi Leidak, Jordan Klepper, Ronny Chieng and TROYA Wata were there. John Stewart, I guess was at the Hamptons. Where are you John? You can chokee at this. The result was more than two hundred and fifty new voter registrations and multiple in progress adoptions.
Pete Lee will be at the Comedy Vault in Batavia this weekend. Pete Lee, known for multiple appearances on the Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon, and his stand up clips on Instagram and TikTok. He said, the Comedy Vault is a really special club. The owner, Liz is really in a comedy and she’s really great to comics. A few of them love comedians the way Liz does.
Lee got into comedy, he said, I had a grandmother that was a lounge singer and told jokes in between her sets. I asked her for advice on jokes and whatnot. At one point, my grandmother was teaching me the structure of jokes, and she wouldn’t let me dinner until I wrote or a proper joke. That was when I was fourteen years old. In school, he majored in advertising, which taught him how to write two hundred of something.
They get to one thing that’s good. If you go see him, expect about three quarters of the act will be material and about a quarter will be crowd work. Pete says, for a long time was known for being a good writer material. I think my Tonight Show appearances reflect that. But the way the internet’s going right now, you have to release a video every day, or third day.
If I was releasing all my material when people came to the shows, they wouldn’t say anything new. I’m a trained improviser as well, and I think it’s really fun to talk to the crowd. In his set, he talks about marriage, his dog, drinking, and how much it sucks to be nice. It says, if you really look at the court what I’m talking about. I never say that sentence on stage, but I’m really talking about how much it sucks to be a kind person.
I talk about everything from calling customer service and how everything’s autobated. I do a whole section on young people. Everybody’s really hard in young people. They say it’s the worst generation. They’ve said that forever.
I defend young people for about ten minutes, and it’s funny. That’s what comedy’s supposed to be. You’re supposed to be holding up a mirror to people’s experiences so they can go I feel that way, or that made me feel better. If you’re giving out information or wisdom in a show, you wanted to help people’s lives. Comedy Vault, eighteen East Wilson Street, Batavia, at twenty five bucks.
You should go. Louise Atkinson said about the fringe, Billy Connolly could tell me a story about a Mayonaise jar for two hours. All right, Louise, how do you get in a comedy? She said? I was dating a comedy nerd who wanted to try stand up, so I researched comedy courses for them as a gift.
The same day I quit a job which I hated on my ex decided this was also a great time to break up with me. Anyway. I got an email saying the space had become available on the course of the following week, and I did it myself. Her show, She’s Got the Look the inspiration. Well, I got into the last round of competition.
I was told I sound good but look a mess. So the show is me trying to figure out which bit of me is the mess and why we make assumptions about people based on how they look when we should really judge people based on whether I think a jeffa cake is a cake or a biscuit. That’ll tell me everything I need to know about you. What’s the wrong assumption people make about you, Louise Atkinson? She says, when you’re a more curfy, voluptuous person than the thing most people tend to think is you don’t understand what healthy eating is.
Let me be clear, I’m fully aware of what healthy food is. I know what a carrot is. It transports dip into my face. Chort Ol gave four stars out of five to Aaron Chen at the Fringe and Right. Aaron Chen is verging on the big league in Sydney.
He plays three thousand seat rooms and is recently relocated to New York on a visa, which classifies him as quote an alien of extraordinary ability. Chen’s one of the only accident to a bit of local material up top, referencing shortbread in Edinburgh Airport, which he says is his main source of current affairs coverage. After he accidentally sign up for their newsletter. Chen moves there to a sizeable chunk about airplane food. It’s not even the first time he’s covered the topic.
It’s as if he takes on the routines as a challenge. Can he make it work? You bet he can. Four stars out of five and from the Sunday Post dot com. If you see Kyle Aker is walking backward around Edinburgh on a windy day, He’s doing it for good reason, not for laughs, but to avoid triggering his excruciating nerve pain, he says, I’ve walked backward into the wind to avoid it.
It sounds impossible that the wind could be so bad, but often the slightest pressure will trigger it, like if someone hit me in the face. Even wearing my glasses can’t affect it. He has trigeminal neuralgia, a long term pain condition that causes sudden attacks of sharp, shooting pain in the face, mouth, and jaw that can feel like an electrical shock. I’m particularly doing this story. I had a version of this.
I would get all of a sudden like it would the back of my head would feel like you stuck an ice pick in it. I would go from one un percent fine to excruciating pain for half a second, and then it would go away. I had this. Luckily it has mostly cleared up. It very rarely happens now, but in my twenties this would happen often.
Kyle explains, your brain doesn’t realize it’s just a little artery bumping into a nerve. Instead, it goes on red alert and thinks you’re being stabbed. He describes the severe bounts of pain like a down power line flying around in the inside of the right side of my head. Anytime it frequently bumps into something, it electrocutes me. When the pain gets really bad, that power line is really flailing and causes this electrical stabbing pain.
Sometimes it can’t function. I can’t even open my eyes while it. Just lay on the floor, pushing my face against the cold kitchen tiles to try and feel something that’s not this indescribable well of pane and nothingness inside my head. Dude, I feel for you. Man.
Wow, sounds like it’s this pretty bad, he said. I used to WinCE all the time and just tell people, including my aunits is that my head was sore. Now I still wins through a set, but I explain what’s going on, which makes it a bit easier. Being more vocal about my condition has made people around me more aware of it feels less taboo. There’s something in me making fun of it that makes it easier for people to deal with.
It’s been cathartic for me too. Wow. This article says it’s usually seen in patients over sixty. I had it I was in my twenty I remember I was walking home from a party in the cold and it felt like a vice in my head, and then it started up and had it for a few years, most of my twenties, probably into my thirties, and that kind of cleared up. Kyle said, I’ve met so many more people with this condition that I would have thought.
It’s been wonderful to meet people have dealt with what I have, but are also some steps ahead. You meet people have lived with this pain for twenty years and realized they found a way to live with some normalcy. So there’s there again. I don’t have it anywhere near as bad as he’s describing here. Anyway, He’s at the fringe and his show’s called Hard to Say, and they’ll find him at just the Tonic.
And that is your comedy news for today. Uh did you pretape Friday? John? Yeah? I did?
All right, we’ll offer me back see tomorrow. Well you’ll see me. I won’t see you.