🎙️ Listen to this episode:
Full Transcript
Caloroga Shark Media. Nicky Glazer’s publicist really trying to get this done and don’t forget She’s hosting the Golden Globes on January fifth of Low, I’m Johnny Mackett. It’s Friday the thirteenth. Are you scared? I have your Daily Comedy News for you.
Rolling Stone did a big fluff job of Nikki Glaser. They remind us of the Nicky Glazer push that started with the roast of Tom Brady in the same week as her HBO Max special Rolling Stone Right Suddenly, Glazer was everywhere. She appeared on The Howard Stern Show and the massive podcast SmartLess. She then began a sixty seven show tour of North America that goes through June. She’s hosting the Golden Globes.
She’s nominated for Best Performance in Stand Up Comedy at the Globes. She’s positive that a list audience members like George Clooney or Jennifer Aniston or Brad Pitt won’t be familiar with her. She says, I’m gonna have to butter them up a bit, which I’m happy to do because I’m in awe of them and I do think they’re better than me. I desperately seek their approval. She then he goes on to discuss the various sexual topics that I won’t do here.
I try and keep the show relatively clean. Rolling Stone said, wait, since the special air, do you stop being horny? Glazier says, yeah. He’s talking about her boyfriend that she’s been on and off with for a decade. I was convincing myself that eventually he was going to discover something about me that was going to discuss him in a way, so I was pushing him away.
Back in May, the boyfriend convinced Nikki that he loved her unconditionally, and in doing so, writes rolling Stone, eliminated the titillating potential for newness that existed if they broke up again. She’s exhausted from traveling so much and says, I feel like the plane is the last place where you still have an excuse to not be available. I’m craving that people can’t get to me. On the day of this interview, she was in New York for the Joan Rivers tribute and said, it feels like, oh no, I tricked them, and now I have to live up to this thing that maybe they saw in me one moment of greatness, but I can’t keep that up. One day recently, Glazer said to a friend, I’m just a fraud, and I’d even write that joke that everyone’s obsessed with and compliments me for all the time.
After the roast and the special, she had to ask herself in her therapist, if this ain’t fun, what’s the point? Because the goal is to be at this level, and now I’m here and I’m miserable, Like then I should stop and start a pet rescue as the next part is a little worrisome to me, Rolling Stone writes. Glazier has a group chat on which she shares her darkest thoughts with her nine best friends, lovingly accrued from fourth grade to adulthood. In a recent voice memo, Nikki said, I wish a car would hit me. I’d love to die right now, but I just don’t even want to because I feel like the guy doing my autopsy would be like, uh, she’s so fat.
The group responded, that’s so funny. Write that down. Glazier says, her friends understand that these are just terrible thoughts and not precursors to terrible actions. In order to avoid worrying the chat to the point where they feel compelled to have her committed, which happened during a life threatening anorexic episode as a teen, Glazier’s promised that if she ever actually considered hurting a self, she will seek help. Rolling Stone added, and I’m glad they did, because after reading that, I was going to add it.
The number for the suicide and Crisis Lifeline is nine to eight to eight, Glazier says, the dopamine rush that I can get when a new joke works. Any comedian will tell you that’s why we keep doing this, because it feels so good and something you’ve just thought of makes a whole room burst out laughing. We like you is pretty much what they’re saying with their laugh. When I get most oppressed is when I haven’t had time to write new material for the Golden Globes. She’s gonna have a conversation with the director about which celebrities to cut to you for reaction shots.
She says, if the first one says this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life and it has a thousand up votes, you kind of go, oh, this is gonna be funny Glazer’s thinking of close ups of Robert de Niro, Matt Damon, and Jamie Lee Curtis. I’ve noticed they’re great laughers. Don’t have the director cut to Taylor Swift. She could murder your career. Just warning you.
I know you’ll love her, but be very careful. One time Joe Coy, host of the Golden Globes, and I think we all know what happened. I’m ready for a challenge. I think as an artist, you have to keep doing things that make you deeply uncomfortable. Now it makes me very uncomfortable is having to do a hard thing, which is be clean.
You know. I hope she’s okay. It is reading that article. I kind of got the I don’t know the feeling, you know, I hope she’s doing okay. Ray Romano has said his son tried stand up.
He was doing a presser and said, yeah, my son went on a stand up trip. He goes to these little dives and he tries stand up for the first time, and the people aren’t even facing the stage. There aren’t even people in there, and of course it doesn’t go well, and he takes it very personal. So I had to almost grab him go. You don’t understand.
First of all, you can’t do well in a place like that, and you can’t do well when it’s your first time on stage. I understand your hurt, but you really have no right to be upset right now. Stand up takes a long time. That’s all I told him. Please don’t get that way, because that’s the way I was.
I gave it up twice. You know, I got beat down my first time. I gave it up, but I got beat down the second time again, but luckily I tried a third time. Russell Peters told The Toronto Star he doesn’t really have any plans outside stand up. He says, I see nothing.
I mean just touring’s really another thing that makes me money. The industry was never a Russell Peters outlly, and there’s still not. So I’m gone this far without him. I don’t know what that’s about. I’ve never really heard bad things about Russell.
Maybe, perhaps possibly twenty years ago, I heard he was a little full of himself. Maybe i’ve met him. He was fine, not the warmest fellow, but neither’s Jerry Seinfeld. I don’t know, He commented on Tony Cliff performing at the rally and said in a comedy club setting that joke would have been very funny where people would have been able to hear the irony in the joke. Puerto Rico’s a beautiful place.
I’ve been there.
Speaking of Jerry seinfeld super car, Blondie, your home for Comedy News tell…
It’s a simple car that cost him eighteen thousand dollars. It’s got a two tone cloth interior that has nineteen seventies written all over it. It’s a gorgeous shade of sand yellow. Fiat calls the color dark Ivory. The engine is a one point four leader in line four puts out eighty horsepower and kiss You’re curious Front of the show.
Scott Beckett sent me another email.
All right, let’s read this one.
Scott said, did what you reported pastor smell test that a full time cast member for SNL makes like fifty five to sixty K a season. I added the like you didn’t balk when you reported that, that’s absolutely no way that can be true. Listen, Scott Beckett, if Pete Davidson tells me something I accepted at face. Valuete Davidson has never said anything untrue to me. Why wouldn’t I believe Pete Davidson.
Scott did some Internet research and says that he found that the starting salary weekly for an SNL cast members seven thousand dollars and that Keenan Thompson and some other people are making like five hundred grand a year. Well, Scott Beckett Variety spoke to Keenan Thompson. Keenan told Variety cast members at SNL have to pay their dues a little bit when it comes to starting salaries. It’s pretty notorious that it’s more about having the job than getting paid for the job. Thompson did not give specific salary numbers.
Jason Sidekez shared a sentiment about his salary and said, I mean, you don’t even make enough money to make big purchases, all right. I have just typed into chant gpt. How much do people on SNL make site sources. According to chat GPT, new cast members typically earn around eight thousand dollars per episode, which equates to approximately one hundred and forty seven grand based on a twenty one episode season. More experienced cast members can make up to fifteen granded episode, which would be three fifteen.
Chat asked, let me know if you’d like further details. Yes. Unfortunately for all of us, it has no further details, So I don’t know. Three thousand and eight thousand seems to be a number like that. Hey, I found out because I went to the Hulu website.
It’s not like the Hulu publicist reach out to me. I found out, and maybe we knew this ready. I get Forgetful, which is the hilarious special for December. It is Alana Glazer Friday, December twentieth. Now Johnny Mack wants to take some days off after Christmas, so I won’t be waiting until a Friday night to watch that one for the end of the year list, So that’ll be in my didn’t watch it subcategory.
Her specials called Human Magic, premieres Friday, December twentieth. Russell Crowe divulged a little known fact about going on Rogan. He made this claim on Nova ninety six point nine Fitzi and Whippa, That’s the morning show down in New Zealand. Russell Crowe told Fitzi Rogan goes well. Chat for about three hours, and I’m like, three hours, No, you won’t, that’s kind of ridiculous, Crow says.
Then you get in there and that’s what he fully intends. But once you’re there, you have to sign a thing that you’re not gonna leave until the chat is over. Hmm. Sam Wiles has a comedy album Today. Johnny Mack likes when things come out as albums.
Here comes Success out Today from a Special Thing Records. Recorded live at a Whammy Video store in La Sam did a jubilant set about the drawbacks of going to a cheap gym, how adult entertainment can sometimes be too much, millennial dad friends, it feels about Boomer’s death, and more. They also tell us that the record is dedicated to O. J. Simpson, but you’ll have to listen to find out why.
All right, very interesting, Sam Wiles. Here Comes Success And from the Idaho Falls magazine, Katie Burke tells us why Jeff Foxworthy is her favorite comedian. You’ve heard me speak over the years about how awesome a dude Jeff is, and everything I’m going to tell you here matches my experience. Katie said she had the privilege of driving f Foxworthy to his show at the Eastern Idaho State Fair four years ago. She was assigned to be Jeff’s driver for the day.
The car they gave Katie a minivan. She said, this is Jeff foxworthy comedy legend. I’m showing up in a minivan. I pulled up to the hotel and sent Jeff’s manager a text message to the effect of walking to the parking lot and looked for the super cool white minivan then you’ll find me. Then Jeff Foxworthy walked out of his everyday hotel, looking all common casual right off the bat.
He made me feel comfortable like we were old bells. No big ego, no diva attitude, just the down earth guy ready for a day at the fair. Jeff did me a favor and did our broadcast at the super Bowl in New Orleans. And I was like, you want something to eat? And he said, is there a subway nearby?
And I’m like, yes, there is. You want me to go get you something? Yeah? And I forget what kind of sandwich he wanted? And he said, and can I get sun chips?
And I said to him, you could get two bags of sun chips. And I went and got Jeff a sandwich. I mean, there’s a lot of stars who wouldn’t be like that. Dude, you did me a favor at the super Bowl. I could spend seven bucks at Subway.
Jeff mentioned to Katie he I used to have a minivan when his girls were little. Katie tells Jeff, I have a kid at home. Jeff says, I can’t believe you’re old enough to have a kid. Jeff seems genuinely interested in the fair itself. He was all excited to try all the classic fair foods, corn dogs, funnel cakes, fried everything.
He mentioned he loved the local food scene in different places and had a soft spot for the weird, creative ditches you only find it fairs. He told me he planned to spend his eighties going out in a blaze of glory, eating anything and everything he wanted. I felt like I was witnessing the real Jeff Foxworthy, not just the guy who performs on stage, but someone who truly enjoys life simple pleasures. Yep, yep, yep, yep yep. Between bites of fried potato and barbecue slathered meats, Jeff shared stories about some of the celebrities he’s met over the years, According to him, Tim McGraw and Faith Hill or two of the nicest people in the entertainment business.
Jeff is humble, kind and one of those people who will make you feel better just by being around them. Amen. He is an awesome dude. And that is your comedy news for today. If you like the program, tell a friend about it, and hopefully they’ll like it too, and they’ll push the follow button on their app.
There. Hey, they might even be like, you know, I like the show. Is there a way to support the show without commercial And then you can tell them, yeah, there’s a link in the show notes. You give Jennie Mack five bucks and you’ll get daily commed news without commercials, and like twenty other shows commercial free. It’s a good deal and you know, then we’ll all be happy.
See tomorrow.