🎙️ Listen to this episode:
Full Transcript
Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. And if you’re paying attention on Friday, you heard me drop two good stories on the fly while I’ve moved them here to the top of Monday’s episode. Congratulations to the folks at the eight hundred Pound Gorilla. They’ve done a deal with Nate Brighetzy.
They will become the official audio and video distributor for the YouTube specials of Nateland Entertainment. The partnership with the eight hundred Pound Gorilla puts the Nateland Specials second window distribution of comedy specials from Aaron Weber, Nick Fohn, and Greg Warren. The Gorilla has similar deals with Kevin Hart’s Laugh Out Loud Network and All Things Comedy, which is Bill burn Almetricle’s company. One of the Gorilla suits said, with both of us calling Nashville our home base, teaming up with Nate Brighetze and Nate Land felt like the obvious move. Nate led the global comedy touring numbers last year, and he’s mapping out even bigger plans as Nate Land’s audience grows.
We’re excited to be partners and helping propel that growth. Amen, Nate, don’t give up the comedy, because I’m telling you, in about ten years, i’m gonna be doing a story. We’re gonna sit down, it’s gonna be daily coming news. I’m gonna be like, I can’t believe they made Happy Gilmore seven, and I’m gonna be like, uh yeah, Nate. Remember when Nate Pergetsy was gonna open a theme park.
Whatever happened to that, Remember that that’s coming, that story. You just got to wait a decade, all right. Website The National caught Bill Burr and Abu Dhabi. Now this was a week ago Saturday, and I bumped this a couple of times. I don’t know if you noticed.
Last week the episodes were quite long as it was, and I figured this could wait a minute. Spoilers if you’re planning on seeing Bill Burr overseas anyway. A lot of quotes from Burst set here that i’ll do in my again. It’s a it’s not at all intended to be a Bill ber impression. It’s what I call on the show, a half ass impression.
I’m not really trying to do Burr’s voice, but I’ll try and match his Cadence the best I can Burst said. Every four years, the billionaires in my cuntry figure out how to blame immigrants. You lose your job, you farm, you can’t buy a house, and I’ll tell you it’s because some guy float in on a mattress from Cuba. We always believe it because the white guy telling us. We think, oh, white guy, I’m a white guy, the same skin, same team.
But it’s not the same team, not the same team at all. Racists white people have to say, I don’t have a problem with immigrants as long as they come here the right way. Oh yeah, did we The immigrant should leave and come back in wooden ships and bring some COVID lace blankets. A bird then started talking about Donald Trump. Burr said that Burr does not understand what’s going on with the leadership of my country right now, and then started talking about Elon Musk and that salute of sorts that mister Musk did at one point, Remember that one.
Burr said, there’s a moment in America if you did a Kaitlyn jennichoke, you were taking your career in your hands. Five years later, the sky has Nerd salutes not once, but twice once to the front, once at the back. People try to play it off with something else, and he didn’t get in trouble. What’s happening. Burr then started talking about how the achievements of ancient Egypt are questioned in Western discourse.
Burr said white people could accept that somebody could do something they couldn’t. If the Pyramids had happened in Italy, they wouldn’t be confused. They would say, today, we’re gonna try and figure out who built the Royal Colisseum? Was it mermaids. Burr also discussed Jeff bezol thirty eight million dollar wedding to Lauren Sanchez.
Burr said, this guy’s sewing over his head. He spent thirty eight million dollars to get married. Dude, you could have gone to Vegas and got that for sixty nine bucks. You’re giving a starter lift ship thirty eight million dollars. It’s because he’s a nerd, never had a girlfriend, he didn’t play sports.
It was his an apartment playing on computers. He’s not an idiot. He’s just then experienced. What’s he going to get it for a birthday? He read that a whole city, all of Venice and if she even asked for that.
He probably wanted a Harry Potter theme leisure tag thing. She’s sitting there with her emotions looking out the window, saying I was thinking maybe we could have a destination wedding, and he’s like, what do you mean, like Florida. He’s gonna be hanging out with the truck drivers. He doesn’t pay enough on the Amazon loading dock, saying I can’t make this woman happy. Burr said he would like to go back, but says I’ll come back in the winter.
That’s when my wife will come. She’ll support me on the road, just not in July. That’s pretty good material, even with me half assed channeling it. You can tell that some really good writing that is obviously performed a trillion times better by Bill Burr. I’m just trying to host a podcast here, serious case you knew.
Not a stand up comedian, not claiming to be a stand up comedian. I’ve never tried to be a stand up comedian. I don’t want to be a stand up comedian. I’m not saying I’m funny. I’m a guy in a basement reading you comedy news headlines.
That’s all this is. Adam Sailor Happy Gilmour two out on a Friday. Boy, I might have to leave the country to avoid this whole thing. Adam Sandler spoke to E Online about working alongside famous Hollywood actress Sadie Sandler, who’s nineteen, and Sonny Sandler, who is sixteen. Adam told E News about the Sandler actresses, once they do it, well, nothing feels better.
As a parent. It must be like when you’re the parents of a baseball player and you’re at the game and they get a hit. You just go thank God, just so much relief. Acting is something the two kids love. My one daughter study it in school and my other daughter studies it while doing high school, and they love it.
They talk about it a lot, and he News tells us it’s not just storing in their dad’s movies that excite Sadie and Sonny. In fact, Jude Barrymore recounted a tender moment of walking in on one of her children and one of Adam’s daughters watching their two thousand’s rom com Fifth First Dates, which, as you know as a frequent listener, is one of the few good Adam Saylor movies. Drew said, I was like, why are you guys watching this? Don’t you get enough of me and your dad? The Texas Tribune Festival is coming to austin November thirteenth through the fifteenth.
I’m mentioning this because they announced influential voices who are joining them. One of the influential voices who will be at the Texas Tribune Festival in November John Mulaney, and the presser tells us mullany is a three time Emmy Award, Critics Choice Award, and WGA Award winning writer, comedian and actor. He’s also a constitutional law NERD. So congratulations asterisk to kill Tony. I saw the news media was picking up claiming that kill Tony is now the number one podcast.
Now they are saying this because kill Tony showed up at the top of the YouTube shorts and now this is a whole thing in the podcasting industry. The easiest thing to do is subscribe to the pod News newsletter and subscribe to my substack, and you can hear us going back and forth about this. So for us people who live on Old Man Mountain, a podcast is what I’m doing right now. It’s audio. There are other things, like an example, I’ll use is Andrew Schultz interviewing President Trump sitting on a couch and there’s fake plants and a four camera set up, and it’s lit properly, and all that YouTube thinks that’s a podcast.
And then somewhere between what Schultz does and what I do is the truth. Anyway, the YouTube charts include all kinds of things that US old people might not consider podcasts. Now, do I consider kill Tony podcasts? Yes, But in terms of audio podcasts, what you listen to on say Apple podcasts or listen to on your phone might be a better way to describe it. Please understand, Joe Rogan is light years ahead of everything else.
Sometimes you’ll see something show up at the top of the charts, but the charts have a recency bias based upon it’s a regression of subscriptions and listens within the last seventy two hours. So if you, sir, start a podcast today and get I don’t know, five thousand of your friends to listen to it in the next hour, you’ll shoot up the charts. You won’t stay there, but you’ll shoot up. So every now and then you’ll see something at the top of the charts. And I always tell people, Hey, when you number one, take a screen grab and tell everybody you’re number one.
So nobody questions these things. So tap the breaks on kil Tony having the number one podcast. If you’re seeing that as a headline, tap the breaks. He just might have had a good week on YouTube and it’s a good show. Don’t get me wrong.
This just for last Montreal Comedy Festival website is going to kill me. But things are picking up here. As I look at tonight’s lineup, looks like the French shows have cleared out. I’m seeing a bunch of things in English today. They include Ross Battle Canada at five o’clock, The Culture Show at seven, there is a French show at seven, the JFL Live Sessions, probably an album taping at seven, another Rose Battle Canada at eight, The Sketch Show hosted by Lou Lawrence at eight thirty, The Nasty Show at nine to thirty, Double Threat, Mark Little and Wally Barram at Tien at Ross Battle Canada at ten thirty, Midnight Surprise eleven fifty nine.
Okay, so if we were in Montreal and I may have to leave the country because of this Adam Sandler stuff, so this might be my life very soon. I would say, all right, at five o’clock, let’s do Roast Battle Canada. So that probably takes us to six thirty or so. As we play this mental exercise, we’ve seen the Culture Show ninety five times, so we don’t need to go see that. You know what, We should grab dinner and then hit the sketch show at eight thirty.
So we’ll grab dinner and a brew or two. Can I sidebar slide bar for a second. Almost got alcohol distracted. I’ll come back to that. All right, eight thirty.
Sketch Show, will do that, and then let’s see that’s at the Theater Saint Catherine. And so is the ten o’clock show at the Theater Saint Katherine, Double Threat, Mark Little and Wally Barram. So we’ll see the sketch show and then we’ll walk across the hall to see Double Threat.
And then at that point, I’ve been seeing comedy shows since five o’clock, and…
There you can go to midnight Surprise. I’m going to bed. So, speaking of alcohol, I forgot to share the story the other day. So volleyball on Wednesday, which why I didn’t watch the SP’s live. First of all, so I’m not that good at volleyball.
I play volleyball, but I’m not that good. But I can kind of serve. But one thing I do, and I nail this. I’m so happy with myself. I’m humble bragging here.
So Wednesday night, it’s game three. It’s twenty three twenty three. First team to twenty five wins, but you have to win by two, and my serve comes up. I do this thing where I make it look like I’m a lot better at serving than I am. I’m a good server, but I’m not like a Hall of Fame server.
What I do is I go up to the line and I really slow down the game. My teammates know I do this, and I look over and I just look down the other team, and I make it look like I’m going to place the ball exactly where I want.
And then I serve it short.
And if I pull that off, even if they return it, that’s fine. But if I pull that off, now it looks like, oh, I did that on purpose.
And then if I get the second point, I’m in their heads now and I do it again.
So I got the first point. So it’s twenty four to twenty three. And I got the second point. And what happens is because I hit the first one short, they start to move up, expecting me to soft serve because apparently that’s what I do. I took my time at the line and I did a hard serve and I hate it right where the pin is because if you hit it where the pin is, the ball doesn’t spin as much, and then when it does start spinning, it drops immediately.
And I went bam and it dropped right between the four of them. Walk off when felt good about myself. Then we went to the bar and I didn’t know BlackBerry cider is a thing. Why didn’t anyone tell me? BlackBerry sider is a thing.
I know about various siders, Irish American ances Stream. I’ve been drinking ciders for decades. I love a nice cider over ice. And the nice waitress was like, I was like, what kind of sider do you have? She’s like, we have a BlackBerry sider.
I’m like, BlackBerry sider, Okay, boys delicious. I had two of those and I digress a new special outs today on the eight hundred pound Gorilla. Paul Foot’s Dissolve is available for early access.
Meanwhile, The Edinburgh News had a preview of Seaton Smith, who had been ope…
Seaton is going to the Edinburgh Fringe Fees and a lot of you know that. I host the Weekly Comedy Thing on the Live One app. The app is free, the show is free. The Weekly Comedy Thing is like this. I talk less and I play comedy bits in between, much shorter versus of the story.
I was playing some Seaton Smith stuff on this week’s show. Boy He is good. Let’s keep an eye on Seaton Smith. Like good, good Good. His show Trauma Bonding will be at the Pleasant Courtyard Spoilers.
The show opens with a wide lens from plane crashes to presidential politics. Seaton Smith dissects the news with a mix of sharp observation and wide eyed disbelief. But it’s not long before the spotlight turns inward. His chaotic childhood, complicated dating life, and a recent moped crash all tikes center stage. At one point, Spoilers even ends up in a hospital after trying to be Batman.
It’s a wild ride, but Smith knows what he’s doing. He weaves high energy punchlines through stories that take strange, sometimes emotional turns. One minute, he’s reliving a mountain biking accident, the next, he’s unpacking family trauma. Somehow it all holds together. Keep an eye on Seaton Smith.
Okay, that is your comedy news for today. See you tomorrow.