Author: johnnymacdcn

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hi there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, daily briefing on standup comedy, comedian and the comedy industry. A sentence, the algorithm loves America can’t get enough of Nikki Glaser, although I’m starting to think America is like, yeah, enough with Nikki Glaser. Tonight, American Idol, Nikki Glaser will host Taylor Swift Night. Of course she will.

The top seven contestants will perform Taylor Swift Hits on the live episode of American Idol.

Meanwhile, Nicki was on Good Morning America, and pay attention to this.

This is some politicking here. They ask her if she wants to host the Oscars. But listen to her phrasing. She says, I’ll have to adapt if she’s offered it. You haven’t been offered it.

I know you’re campaigning for it. I know you’re trying to resteal your career. I know your agents and your PR people are getting it done and we’re trying to reposition you. But no one has asked you to host the Oscars. Would you is it a dream?

Would you want to do the Oscars? Of course? I mean I think that there’s always just this like, oh, what’s what’s the next thing. I really have to say. I enjoyed the Globes though, because it is it is set up so perfectly for comedy.

It’s a looser night, there’s drinking, everyone’s like kind of casual. Everyone’s sitting at these tables. They’re not all in these just like stuffy rows. They and it’s set up like a comedy club. It’s the lower ceiling.

The Oscars is a harder gig, so I’ll have to adapt in a different way. All the cool is sucking out of the Nicky Glazer room. That is all I hear. The more press she does, the more I’m like, es, I’m to high out for a while, and she’s not going to She’s knocking on Hollywood’s door, and I don’t know, the media seems to want to let her in. I’m not sure Hollywood wants to let her in.

We will find out. Bobby Lee and Andrews Santino have wrapped production on a ten episode season of something called The Bad Game Show. The Bad Game Show is an unscripted comedy series inspired by their podcast Bad Friends, created by Andrews Santino and Nick Krice. The Bad Game Show drops celebrities into a chaotic mix of trivia and absurd challenges, with surprise guests crashed the game and nothing goes as planned, all unfolding inside Bobby Lee’s mom’s basement. The show is being made for digital distribution across Talent owned channels and platforms, revenue being driven by brand partnerships through custom integrations, sponsored sketches, and host red ads.

People are mad at Jimmy Fallon. I think that’s true almost every day of the week. Why are they mad at Jimmy Fallon? Now? Are you watching Survivor?

Now that comedy Survivor’s over, you might as well watch traditional Survivor. Spoilers for last week’s episode. There was this guy, Christian, and he was on the island and he took part in a challenge and he lost in the challenge. This particular challenge in the Survivor fifty which has celebrity stunts. This challenge was designed by Jimmy Fallon, who if you didn’t complete a puzzle in time, you had to vote yourself off.

You had to cast a vote for yourself. Well, Christian went to tribal council and guess who was voted off Christian while voting for himself. Christian looked on the camera and told Jimmy Fallon, this idea you had it’s terrible. No more ideas from you. I look forward to your apology.

Jimmy Fallon did apologize on the tonight show. He even had Christian as a guest. Fallon said, now that we’re all in the same place, so all I have to say is Christian, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry about this. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

It wasn’t supposed to be you. I feel so bad because I love you. That’s an interesting thing for Jimmy Fallon to say. Now. Apparently in the confessional scene with the vote, some stuff was cut out.

Christian said. He said something like Jimmy, Jimmy, I’m not sure I like this idea. What other ideas have been yours? We’re looking at the Titanic and you’re like, you know what, too many life votes were you on the Hindenberg? And he said, you know what, this needs a smoking section?

What other ideas, Jimmy, I don’t think you need any more ideas. I think you could have a seat and let us play Shane Gillis got the crowd going at Game three of the Eastern Conference first round NHL Playoffs. It was the Philadelphia Flyers taking on the Pittsburgh Penguins. Flyers super fan Shane Gillis was joined by team mascot Gritty to ignite the orange before the game. Puck dropped a stupid controversy last week involving Patton Oswalt.

It was April twenty first, and Patton Oswalt marked ten years since the death of his wife. Patton Oswalt posted on Instagram ten years gone by miss you baby. People thought that was rude to Patton Oswalt’s current wife, Meredith Salinger. Salinger posted, what a beauty. She was smart and cool and brave, clearly smart enough to love you and wonderful enough to be adored by you.

And she made the greatest kid on the planet. Wish I had known her. I’m so sorry for the heartbreak you and Alice will always hold. I love you both with all my heart, hugs forever. Tim Heidecker getting a lot of press.

He’s the new face of Info Wars, the former Alex Jones website now being run by The Onion, and they’re having a good time running it. Hideker’s mission. He’s asking, can you change the way people think about a word like info wars? That felt like an interesting question to explore. This even got a profile of Tim Hideker in the Wall Street Journal, of all places, Hidecker and the team are making content for the new Info Wars, including a parody of Tucker Carlson’s show, Tucker Carlson one of those people that is all of a sudden surprised at the President of the United States, as if I’m not going there, Tucker Cross the surprise.

Listen to Tucker Cross’s podcast. One early episode of the Carlson parody says, the American people don’t know this, but JFK didn’t kill himself. Alex Jones is not happy with the parodies. He said, the whole thing’s about defaming me. Just because you’re wearing my shirt doesn’t mean you’re me.

Well, Tim Hideker shaved his head to look a little more like Alex Jones and walked into the new offices. He shared a video on Instagram. Let’s listen to some of it as we head into the break. I’ve made some edits here for pacing and for language. Hey, everybody, it’s Tim Heidecker checking in here.

I’m in the Onion headquarters. Here Jamie Brew eating a sandwich, a bunch of guys trying to come up with funny ideas. How that goes? You know, they got all the posters of all their dumb ideas, women’s bath room, gender identity whatever. Uh.

Just you don’t have to stop because I’m walking around. Go back to business. Are you doing this or what we taking over in for wars? Mister Collins? Is that that what’s gonna happen?

What are we gonna donna disrupt? Right? That’s correct, that’s exactly. We’re gonna do. Well, you’re my leader.

I’m gonna follow you into battle. We’re gonna we’re gonna storm the gates, trial by combat, whatever it takes. Matt Carlin thinks he knows what’s going on. He doesn’t know anything. Whoever you are.

And then they got cambucha. Now they’re making everybody here drink cambucha and it’s making everybody turn into little lizards, turn into little lizards running around Anyhow, it’s been a great launch. We’re excited. Onion his own fire. I couldn’t be happier.

The folks at the Cavalier went to see Josh Johnson. It was a free performance at a college, We’re told. Before Johnson took the stage too, other commie is performed Clay Dickerson, the outgoing student council president and a fourth year student. Dickerson did some local material about local elections. Then the second opener was Rammind Mustafity.

We’re told he’s known for his writing ability and acting chops and did some gen Z related comedy. Okay, and that makes sense. Probably wondering how could Josh Johnson possibly follow those openers Josh had set and included judging people based on how to eat fruit, to broader commentary on politics, technology, and social behavior. A college student went to see the show and said, I really liked the main act. You think I could tell everything He was joking about all of his stories.

He put a lot of thought into it. A different student, a freshman, said, I feel like his bits in comparison to the openers. He had a softer delivery and a lot more commentary on the world in a way that wasn’t always trying to be edgy. He wasn’t trying to use shock humor the whole time. Now I don’t want to shade the up and coming comedians, although I may have accidentally done that already.

We’re comparing a guy that does like a fresh hour every week to two college students opening for him. Yeah, I’m pretty sure Josh Johnson’s going to be better at it. All Right, I got a couple of awful things to talk about from TMZ. Jelly Roll is facing accusations from comedian Nicole Arber. A rep for the Nashville PD tells TMZ, as you’re probably where, there appears to be an ongoing online back and forth between the two.

No charge has been filed. There’s no current investigation underway. TMZ reports that Arbor has escalated her feud, accusing his team of sending her alleged hush money. Nicole Orber has been blasting jelly Roll on social media. Now, I’m unfamiliar with Nicole Arber, so I went to the internet and I’m told Nicole Arber is a Canadian multi hyphenate who works as a comedian, speaker, choreographer, singer, actress, and YouTuber.

She’s released several albums and singles. Then as I was doing that, the autocomplete came up and people have searched the phrase why is Nicole Arbor famous? I’ll push back on the word famous, but let’s accept the premise why is Nicole Arber famous? Here is the description from the interwebs. Nicole Arber, the five to nine comedic blonde bombshell who began her time in the public guy working as a choreographer and a cheerleader for the Toronto Raptors before becoming known worldwide for her viral comedy and music, has officially solidified herself as a commanding voice in modern entertainment.

That update was of February twenty seventh, twenty twenty five. So again, one of the commanding voices in modern entertainment. Nicole Arber in some sort of whistling match with Jelly Roll. I’ll keep you posted.

---

Meanwhile, really really horrible here.

I at first I didn’t have the story in this in the you hear me stumbling. I’m not gonna make that edit there. I didn’t have it in the script at all.

---

And then I’m like, let me at least mention it.

Let me read it verbatim and flat. From the Guardian, Russell Brand said he had exploitative consensual sex with a sixteen year old girl. At the height of his fame. Speaking about his past actions and appearance on the YouTube show of the US journalist Megan Kelly, Brand described himself selfish and a quote exploiter of women. He said, quote I did sleep with a sixteen year old when I was thirty.

I was a very different person. I was a lot younger and I was an immature thirty year old. He added, consensual sex with a lot of people when there was a strong power differential, as there is when your famous man was the ability to attract women than I had at the time. I think that involves exploitation. I think it’s exploitative.

I recognized that my sexual conduct in the past was selfish and I did not apply enough consideration barely any I suppose, really to how that sex was affecting other people. The Guardian mentions the age of consent in the UK is sixteen, unless it’s with an adult in a quote position of trust unquote, such as a teacher, social worker, sports coach or doctor, in which case the age of consent is eighteen. Guardian reminds us a court has previously heard that Brand is accused of raping a woman in a hotel room while she attended a Labour Party conference in Bournemouth, grabbing a TV worker’s breast and orally raping her after dragging her into a male toilet, and kissing and groping a radio worker after pushing her against a wall. I’ve met Russell brand once in my life. We were at a studio.

We did a recording session. In that one session, he was super cool and personable. But as I’ve shared on the show before, I’ve also worked with Bill Cosby, and when I worked with Bill Cosby, he was the very professional public Bill Cosby. And as I’ve said on the show before, someday Bill Cosby will pass away and I will tell you a story. Let’s not go out on that.

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon will receive an award in honor of Robin Williams. Affleck and Damon starred along with Robin Williams and Goodwill Hunting. Today they will be in San Francisco to receive the ninth Robin Williams Legacy of Laughter Award, presented to them by Glenn Closes nonprofit Bring Change to Mind, as a fundraiser today at the Fort Mason Center. Aaron sent this over from the New Zealand Herald. Aaron noticed that I was on a Flight of the Concords kick and she wanted to know about New Zealand Spy, a six part comedy series.

This follows Michael Brown, a spy who struggles with his real name his cover identity. That’s not important. What’s important is that he and his colleagues at the New Zealand Intelligence Agency or all that’s protecting New Zealand from the Great Enemy of Australia. Now you know who’s in this Brett Mackenzie. He from the six hundred and ten dollars Flight of the Concords tickets.

Mackenzie plays Michael’s boss. New Zealand Spy begins on TV n Z two on Wednesday eight thirty in a lossol stream on TV and Z Plus and on Johnny Max’s Pirate Chip. If you know what I mean. Chris O’Dowd you know him from the IT crowd. He will join Bill Burr in Bender.

Bender is the coming of age comedy that’s shooting in Ireland this summer. Chris O’Dowd will play a self made family man trying to put on a brave face while his business is marriage and his faith begin to crumble amid a brutal economic recession. Bill Burr plays a gruff American record store owner who convinces the RegTech gain of teenage misfits that they’re best and possibly only chance to lose their virginity before graduating high school. Is at a massive open air mass for the visiting Pope. That is your comedy news for today.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

---

Full Transcript

Callaroga Shock Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, the daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. A sentence, The algorithm loves Nicky Glazer was at the time one hundred thing of a jig. She was the MC. I’ve got some audio for you, and my question to you is is she bombing now?

To be very very very fair, the crowd is not miked well at all, and you can do the best comedy. If they don’t mike the crowd, it will sound like you’re bombing. But even beyond that, and if you listen closely at times, you will hear the audience laugh. I think she’s bombing here. I think the cool Hollywood people don’t want to accept her, and the cool Hollywood people know that they don’t dare laugh at the jokes.

Oh no, a Katie Perry joke. We better not laugh at that one. We’ll get in trouble. We won’t be liked by the other cool Hollywood people. So this is a tough room, and I think she bombed.

The original was quite long. I’ve clipped it down for both pacing and language. Here’s Nikki Glaser. Hello everyone, I’m Nikki Glaser and welcome to the Time one hundred, the one list you actually want to be on this year. Yes, congratulations to everyone here tonight.

This is such a phenomenal accomplishment for each and every one of your publicists, truly right. Personally, I am just so excited to be in the same room with people. My therapists told me to never compare myself to Donna. Was right. But I’m your host, Nikki Glaser, and this is such a thrill.

I’ve of course hosted the Golden Globes, but this is different because this is time I will never get back, you know, No, I’m kidding, I’m I’m so excited to be on this list. I am. I’m also one of four people on the cover, which is a quarter of my dream come true. Yes, oh my god, I can’t wait for all my friends family to see it three years from now in a dentist waiting room. Well, Tonight’s ceremony is different than most stars studded events because this is an event where the greatest thinkers in the fields of science and technology are asked the big questions like who are you wearing?

And who are you Because We’re just not celebrating actors here tonight, you know, but the scientists, scholars, musicians, writers and athletes that those actors will play hotter versions of in movies. One of the most impressive people on the list is Victoria Beckham. Of course, oh my god. She was a global pop star, now a serious fashion designer. She’s married to David Beckham, She’s rich, successful, stunning.

What’s it gonna take to get you to smile? I mean, really, please smile. You’re one of the only British people who should. Okay, wow, But there’s just so many impressive people in this room tonight. But what really blows my mind is that we have actual astronauts here tonight.

It’s insane. Yes, these brave people who risked it all to go up into space and search for the unknown. And by astronaut, of course, I’m talking about Gail King, all right, Gail. I love you so much. Gail, Really though, Gail, you had the courage to do something that so many people wouldn’t have the guts to do, spend twelve minutes alone with Katy Perry, and we we thank you for that.

The other day, Nikki was on Kelly Rippers show, which is just like the most difficult thing to watch. It’s not my thing at all, and a Verrely, Nicky’s skirt was a little too short. Let’s listen. That is just for you. I know, I’m right the barrel.

Sorry, guys. Yeah, yeah, I don’t mind at all. Oh god, God, I’ll send you a picture later.

And then they want on to have more of a conversation, which I just found naus…

Let’s listen, I realize there’s. This recent development. You have something in common with Pope Leo. Finally, finally, I mean we’ve always both loved hat since can speak Latin, but it’s uh no, we’re both one time one hundred most influential people. Yeah yeah, I me your cover the Pope and mister Bees.

Yeah, I mean that’s extraordinary. It’s so cool. And Nikki Glaser’s. Babyhood, baby childhood, wildest dreams. Do you imagine that?

Never? I mean, looking at that photo, I’m was just like, it just feels like one of those you know covers that you get made at like a carnival. That’s like you can be on time. It seems like a joking Nikki, You’re posing is really good there. Thank you so much do you do you naturally pose?

They do you know how to do that stuff? That’s so deeply uncomfortable. Mark, Oh my gosh, photo shoots. I think things look that comes so natural, But that is one photo out of like thousands, you know, and it’s just so uncomfortable because everyone knows just like to buzz like this, like I can do this, like but then like in these you have to be like, right, this is not natural. You just have to think you’re so cool and like it’s just I think that’s why models, the models are paid a lot of money because of that.

They can’t do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the maintenance. It’s much much, much, much funnier. Jimmy Kimmel, So last night was the White House Correspondents Dinner, and for the first time in recent memory, they didn’t have a comedian host it, so Kimmel decided to have his own. He called his the All American White House Correspondents Dinner, and I have trimmed this down for pacing and also on ABC Network television.

He told the joke that I found a little too naughty for even this show. Those standards differ. Gisha curious. He told a joke about uh, I thing guys like anyway, Here’s Jimmy Kimmel live. From the Trump Kimmel Sinner, Washington, DC.

It’s the All American White House Correspondent’s Dinner. You’re as your host for the night, Jimmy Pival. All right, by, welcome to the twenty twenty six White House Correspondence Dinner. Look at you all dressed up in formal wear, dresses, tuxedos. I haven’t seen this much black since every page of the Trump Epstein files.

We’re gonna have fun tonight on and I’m happy you decided to stay, mister President. And don’t worry if we bruise your ego, it’ll only make your hands look less disgusting. That president didn’t want me to tell any jokes about him tonight, but he also didn’t want to pay me one hundred and thirty thousand dollars to shut up. So here we are. Sorry, mushroom ice.

Baby Ice. By the way, in the unfortunate event that our president has a medical emergency tonight, do we have a doctor in the house? I mean sorry, I mean do we have a Jesus in the house. I always confuse them too. I get why you think you’re Jesus this guy.

Every time he walks into a room, people say, Christ, he’s back. You’re looking good, though, mister President, who did your makeup? Craft? Singles as the President will tell you repeatedly until you beg him to stop. President Trump has accomplished so much during his second term.

He passed new incentives for oil and gas. He put the brakes on solar and wind. That will be your legacy, sir, breaking wind and passing gas. Deadline’s keeping an eye on the Netflix is a joke comedy festival. The Festival Los Angeles may fourth through the tenth.

Deadline’s written about this before, but they continue to say that the festival will be, according to an insider, a story of the haves and the have nuts. Deadline’s update is one validation of netflix investment in podcasting is the Pete Davidson Showline and says after getting to low ticket warnings with the show featuring John Mulaney, Pete Davidson has booked another at the Wiltrin Theater to feature Nikki Glaser, but they say that aside, I’m not seeing many more sellouts on the schedule than I did when we last checked in. Now this is really interesting, Deadline Rights. Strangely, some of the biggest, more key names in comedy are those with the most tickets left to sell as of now, and this was middle of last week. Shane Gillis, Louis C.K.

And John Mulaney are far from selling out their shows at the Hollywood Bowl. Kat Williams as a good way to go at the Into It Dome, as does Nate Berghatzy with his two shows at the venue, and in particular the May ninth show. More from Deadline, Seinfeld’s sales aren’t great for a show featuring Leanne Morgan and Jim Gaffigan hasn’t yet approached selling out the Dolby Wow. Really weird, right, Deadline Rights. The numbers are puzzling when you consider all the records comics like Burghetzie and Morgan are achieving around the world, and as Gillis approaches his huge homecoming show at Lincoln Financial Field, and it’s striking to assess them in relation to the ticket sales of younger buzzy common like tren Marco Sarzi and Jeffer Keiy, who have sold out multiple shows, albeit at much smaller venues.

Very very interesting at some point during the week, I sat in front of the television and watched Kevin Hartz. What is that called comedy competition thing? Funny af that’s what it’s called, right, Yeah, maybe John you host the show you tell us Sorry. As I wrote it in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast group, it’s a good version of the comedy competition show. I’m a comedy snob.

I struggle with these things. Some of my notes. I actually ran my Apple watch timer. We’re seeing ninety second sets. You can almost get by on just pure charisma for ninety seconds.

For a lot of these ninety second sets, you’re seeing that it’s basically one good joke. There was one guy, he had a really great joke about bears, and that kind of stretched out to ninety seconds, and you know, Okay, that doesn’t make you George Carlin, doesn’t make you bad. But like relax, and a lot of the ninety second sets are edited off. Somebody will get off a good joke and a good laugh and then it’s just cut to the end, and you could tell that the set didn’t actually end there, or they just kind of wrap it up. One thing that did make me happy is if you listen regularly you’ve heard me talk about what I describe as the Emperor of Rome syndrome, which means I have heard so much comedy in my lifetime that my brain is fried.

And I do what the comedians do, which is in the back of the room, they’re going, Oh, that’s really good. That’s really funny, but don’t actually laugh. And you’ll see that at times, specifically with Keegan Michael Key sitting at the table with Kevin Hart just saying oh, really good, really good, really good. So if you want to know what I talk about when I talk about Emperor of Rome syndrome, watch that for good illustration of it. Anyway, it’s a nice enough version of that.

Oh and then I got to the end episode one and they were like, and the final comedian moving on is Cliffhanger, And I’m like, Netflix, I’m not hitting play on a second episode to find out who’s going through to the second round. I don’t care that much, so I’ll probably watch the whole thing, but I’m not like obsessed with it. It’s fine. It’s a good version of what it is. I did like Rommy Yusef’s special.

It’s a little long, but the front half is particularly strong. TV Insider asked Rommy about the special, which was filmed in February and is pretty topical. How close to the shoot were your fine seating material. Rommy said, I think there’s the bedrock of the set that are things that I know I want to hit, and I think for me from a performance perspective, it’s really important for it to feel like it’s happening in a way that when you’re filming a special, it’s a tough balance because you’re playing for a crowd that’s right in front of you, and you’re playing for everyone else in their living room. I do try to honor the people that are in the physical room as much as possible, and that is spontaneity.

They shot at the way you doing a stand up show. When you’re doing crowd work, no one in the crowds he’s who you’re talking to unless you’re sitting next to them. So we didn’t even try to grab the crowd. It was more we’re gonna play it as if you were in the room, and by the nature kind of walking in the set and knowing going to do crowd work and I don’t know where it’s going to go. We also felt like we were going to commit as much as possible to one of the shows, and that Special is really just the majority of one show.

Robby said he likes to talk about pedestrian things and TV Insider said, you had talked about meeting the Pope. That’s not a pedestrian thing. Rommy said, My feeling is if you can meet people where they are, they’ll go with you wherever you want to go. And the balance is, you know, my life is not that crazily different except for every once in a while doing something like meeting the Pope, and I think that’s just letting people in on that feeling as well. David Cross sat down with Fox News Digital to discuss David Special the end of the beginning of the end, David said of his audience, I know this sounds corny, but they’re really smart and they’re mostly like minded people, and they know what they’re getting.

At this point, which he described as a balance between silly and political jokes, including some personal stories, offensive humor, and topical bits, Cross said he doesn’t tailor his work for algorithms or soften his material for mass appeal. What Cross actually said was, at this point, I don’t give a hoot. Man, I’m gonna do it, And if you want to come down, show up. If not, whatever, it’s fine. I’m doing my thing.

The audience is happy, come down if you want. I don’t give an f I don’t want to make it too heavily silly or too heavily political. I like to keep a really nice balance throughout the whole thing. As for putting together a set, he says he considers what flows more than a theme. Cross explains if there is kind of a thread or theme is something that presents itself.

I never sit down and go how can I talk about the inhumanity of man? You know it’s not that kind of thing. Gossip Connor wis Business changed? Gossip conn Problem, Gossip Gone Withers with Me? John Mactow and the.

Trees No Pete Today. Gossip Corner features Dave Chappelle. The manager of the San Francisco Giants was out and about and his night ended with a fist bump from Dave Chappelle. Tony Vittello didn’t have a game last Monday. He went to a downtown restaurant that had been recommended by a friend.

He said, to hell with it, I’ll go to the restaurant see. His concern was the Giants were off to a bad start and he thought some Giants fans would be sad. Sure enough, there were Giants fans there. They gave him a hard time and he said, well, what do you guys doing? You having fun?

And they said, yeah, we’re getting ready to go see Dave Chappelle. Ptello bartoned ways with the fans and called an uber and then had a change of heart. He said, it was raining. I called an uber, stared at the uber, canceled the uber, apologized to the Uber driver and asked myself, why am I being so scared? I coach guys and tell them to be scared.

So he bought a ticket to Dave Chappelle’s show. At the punchline, Tello said, Dave was Dave, so I needed to laugh and it was good to do something in the city. Was a lot of fun, met some cool people and got some rest to get ready for this deal. That deal was an interview with MLB Network. At the end of the night, he got a fist bump from Dave Chappelle.

But I don’t know how that part works. Is he sitting in section three oh nine or did he have VIP tickets? How did he get a fist bump from Dave Chappelle? But he got a fist bump from Dave Chappelle.

---

Meanwhile, we are told Dave Chappelle secured the perfect deal on an art piece.

Dave was walking around Soho. Dave was on his way to Sidell’s when he spotted artist Lauren Wilson passing by with one of Wilson’s original bees wax sculptures in hand. Chappelle stopped Wilson and commissioned his work on the spot. Wilson said, Chappelle was so engaging. I just gave it to him and told him don’t worry about it.

And Star trek ruin Er Patton Oswalt has a new gig. He will lend his voice to the audiobook edition of Other Worlds Than Things. That is the upcoming novel by Stephen King. It is the final installment in the Talisman trilogy. The series kicked off in nineteen eighty four with The Talisman, a story about Jack Sawyer, a twelve year old boy searching for a magical item that could save the life of his ailing mother, and now the third novel in the trilogy, will be voiced by star trek Ruiner paton osweald To.

That is your comedy news for today. I’ll see you tomorrow.

---

Full Transcript

Callaroga Shock Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, a daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. Now today is very political. If you don’t like the political stuff, check out now. And if you listen to the show and you feel that I’ve loaded it one side or another.

I don’t make fun of the candidate you don’t like or whatever, put the clips under my nose. There’s nothing loaded here now. I think some of my opinions on some of these folks does creep out from time to time, but I’m happy to make fun of everyone. Let’s start with Dave Chappelle. Dave Chappelle was on PBS and he discussed his opinions on the President of the United States.

How do you think he’s doing? He’s joking, right, He’s man, Come on, man, nobody wants to feel this way, and I don’t think anybody war. They definitely didn’t want to arguably lose one. But when you’re asking him please do better, what was it in that moment that you were asking the president to do and to do differently? Well?

I believe in that same monologue, I reminded him that everyone on earth is counting on him. Yep. I think I made the point that the presidency is no place for a petty person. So personally, I would say that, you know, anyone at any type of leadership position or even like a nightclub can being like me. We have to suffer sights and injuries, and we have to kind of just let some things go, and we have to focus on what’s actually important and not cultivating a browth of confusion, which I believe is I believe he’s doing that, you know, you know, for political expediency or whatever reason.

I don’t standard methodology, but I just know that Americans. I think everyone wants to have some semblance of peace, and they get there different ways. Some people think there’s different things threatening their peace, you know, but being a president seems like an opportunity to be a very unifying force, and I feel like perhaps he squandered that opportunity, to put. It likely, THEO. Vaughn also has some thoughts about the President of the United.

States and what American is this helping besides the war, the industrial war complex, What American hard What guy who’s trying to take care of his family or a single mother who’s a nurse who’s going to work and has to get home and get to her kids ballgame and has to be both parents. What farmers is helping regular person? Is this helping? I just don’t know. I don’t understand.

So, yeah, that’s what that’s what That’s what our president’s up to, and it’s baffling. And George Lopez also has some thoughts about the president of the United States. If you had cognitive decline and. You worked at anywhere Barrack. Guns on victory and they said, hey, there’s about the right hand that’s laying out the silverware has cognitive decline, I don’t think should be near the knives now that long he’ll be all right.

You wouldn’t let a valet person be cognitive decline and be working. So we have a guy that’s the leader of the free world with cognitive decline, who who is attacking the war with just on his own. I mean, listen, I always think everybody’s Mexican, you know, so I think Trump, you know, he’s remodeling the house he don’t own. He’s starting with other countries. His son in laws over there, you know, hired them.

I mean, if you have a job where you can hire your family. You have a job, you don’t have a career, because they’re not gonna be like, who’s this fool right here? I don’t know. I just started working Americ Experiences. I told just to come.

But I mean, the idea that this guy could get away with so much and and and have it really kind of go uncalled. On Greg Gutfeld on Fox News Slam Jimmy Kimmel. Kimmel had been on Michelle Obama’s podcast. On Michelle Obama’s podcast, Jimmy Kimmel said, first of all, don’t tell me what my job is. I don’t tell you what your job is.

My job is whatever I decide. My job is whatever my employer allows me to do. That’s what my job is. Greg Gutfeld, it’s all Jimmy Kimmel. Look, he’s right, he doesn’t have to listen to criticism.

But then don’t complain about it. You could do what you want and we could tell you what sucks. You could paid handsome links to take it like a man and stop blubbering. People get criticized every day who make one one hundredth of what you make in menial jobs, and they don’t complain about the complaints. You don’t even know criticism.

Try being a right winger for a year, got fail at it. I only complained when one of the my friends get shot and killed and you make up stories about it. Gray continued. My feeling is he’s hopeless because he’s decided he’s too important to be funny. He’s incapable of self deprecation.

He can’t poke fun at himself, and he lost the ability to be silly. I’m a fool. I’m the first admitted. I embrace it. The less important you think I am, the better it is for me.

No one mocks me more than me, and most of the insults directed to me from critics they took from me. So there, people are upset about Ramy Yusef. Earlier in the week, Romy had stopped by Sesame Street and hung out with Elmo. Here’s a quick clip, Sanna monicum, everyone, I’m Ramy Yusef. Hell is here, mister Ramy?

What is salamikm Well, Salam means peace and it’s a way to say hello in Arabic. Raymond Arroyo on Fox News said I wish Sesame Street would stick to teaching kids about letters and numbers, and then mister Royo went on to say some other things that I’m not going to repeat. They were not very welcoming. Ramy Yusef was on the view and said, I feel for them, right. I think they’re worried about Arabic immersion and it’s got to be tough because I think there’s supporters of the president.

So imagine your president on Easter is tweeting praise be to Allah and al Elmo saying Habibi. That feels threatening. Rommie said There’s been lots of languages on Sesame Street and there’s been no backlash to those, so it actually really did surprise me. John Oliver share that he’s not a fan of the British Royal family. He was asked about the future of former Prince Andrew.

John said, long term, if I believed in Hell, it would be there. I don’t know where he’ll end up. I had very little respect for that guy before all of this, so I don’t know where he’ll end up, and the marrow of my bones, I don’t care. By the way, you can keep up on the Royal family by listening to the Palace Intrigue podcast. I’m the writer on that.

We cover this stuff all day, every day, twice a day. There’s a lot to talk about the British royal family. John Oliver also talked about Sarah Ferguson. Remember Fergie, she used to be married to former Prince Andrew and all John Oliver said was and he couldn’t give a flying s word. Alex Jones is no longer in charge of Info Wars.

The Onion is taking it over. Comedian Tim Hidecker is the new face of Wars. Let’s listen as we head to the break and I have cut this down a little. Hey, everybody, I. Got some breaking news for you.

It’s looking very likely that Global Tetra Heaton will seize control of Info Wars in the coming days. The folks that Global Tetra Heaton have asked me to step in as to run the show over there and become a big part of the future. So we’re. Exploring. Sorry, my name is Tim Heidecker.

Just here to let you know that I am now in charge of Info Wars. It’s an honor to take over the reins and chart a new path towards the future. We’re looking forward to relaunching the site soon in the next coming months and We’re not really sure what we’re going to do with it. We’re talking about all sorts of ideas. We were playing around with it being a real estate broker service, or a cryptocurrency exchange market, a place to, a place to or pictures more most like a drop box account.

Not sure, a lot of ideas, but very excited to take this on. UH and just want to wish everyone extend a hand of friendship and UH and grace as we proceed through this process. It’s not going to be easy, but I can assure you that we have our best intentions in mind. We are in the city of brotherly love and I want to extend that sentiment to all our friends over there. Longtime fans and consumers of the info Wars products, got some exciting products coming as well.

We’re working with a company that will enable you to turn your urine into into gold. So stay tuned for more information about that and stay with us. Stay stay updated on info Wars for more information as this story develops. Hulu is adding the Handsome podcast to their platform. Handsome features Tignatsaro off which Fimster and Mae Martin Arii Shafier caught up with the La times about the end of formerly known as this is Not Happening.

Not entirely true. John, you kind of were loose with the phrasing there, but you guys know what I mean that thing Ari he said, I’m excited to show some people new people. Even with the live shows, I’m always like, let me show you two headliners. You know, a mid level guy you’ll know, and let me show you two people that you just don’t know. That’s a good way to put together a show.

That’s what stand up is. In New York, LA and even Austin. There are some killers no one has ever heard of, and they’re destroyers. So I’m excited to show people. Call Um Tyrell because he rules.

He’s so funny and his story’s great. Tony Hitchclub’s story was really good. He’s a monster storyteller in every sense of the word. Now and Roywood Junior is so smooth it makes me feel like I’m needy and insecure on the stage. Sam Talent is going to be one people talk about.

Jim Brewer is so great. Steph Tolev crushed it with something fun and interesting and wow, this is really tough. Every time I’m doing a promo for the show, it’s like, what about this person? And this one having big jay ogwriston back was key because he’s on the Mount Rushmore of this show, and we have three of those on the end, Jay, Miss Patt and Ali Sadik. We couldn’t Sean Patton now because he was shooting something and Bert Krascher had a movie or something with his daughter moving, or maybe was a graduation.

The LA Time said it would be funny if Bert Krascher paid to have a graduation move so we could do your show. Alre he liked that idea. I said, yeah, just pay the school to move the graduation for a week. Don’t you make like fifty million dollars a year, It’s so funny. He used to be crazy.

You think of someone making one hundred million dollars and now there are like ten comics who make at least half of that and without doing press, and it’s really cool. I haven’t paid for lunch. It’s so long. And Ali Sidiq has become so huge. He’s like the success story.

The storytelling show in its entirety, everyone got helped a little bit, but Ali kind of broke off these stories. And to see him so successful and still so smooth. It’s really cool. You can’t be niche doing arenas, and there’s this independent boom that’s not gonna wait for anybody. So it’s another big win for us.

It’s our turn in the whole story of this.

Speaking of Oli Sidiq, he and his daughter, chef Jaydon Genes, are taking own…

The restaurant is an all day cafe neighborhood market created by James Beard finalist Chris Williams. When william stepped away for his daughter’s birth, Gaines stepped in a chef and general manager and has been running it like it was hers ever since. Williams approach Gaines earlier this year about owning the business. Alsidiq will be part owner and will ACKed in a support role and out of San Francisco. The sf Gate tells us about the Wash.

The Wash was a one night recreation of the legendary venue Brainwash, where Ali Wang got her start. Ali Wang had described Brainwash on Hot Wings, saying it was literally half cafe, half laundromat, one hundred percent homeless shelter. Brainwash hosted open mic nights from April fools Day nineteen ninety nine to its closure in twenty seventeen. MC Tony Sparks said, it started out as an insult oddly enough, because I was the monopoly of open mics. I wasn’t welcome to the community, but the open MIC’s all blew up really fast and got popular.

They were calling me the godfather, like they had a bow and kissed my ring to get in. Comics came from all around to be there to learn, how can I get work where it needs to go? Stuff like that, The Gate tells us, as one can expect from an open mic, the quality was let’s just say mixed. We’ll see if they do it again. Spark said, I hope this is a kick off of bringing back that same energy we had back then when people worked together and everybody rallied around one another to make this whole comedy thing work.

Let’s see. I hope they do bring it back. And that is your comedy news for today, See tomorrow.

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shock Media. Hey, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, a daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. So much to get to today and tomorrow and tomorrow is going to be very political. Consider yourself quite warned. Let’s start with Nicky Glazer.

Now, last night she hosted that Time one hundred most influential people. Think we’ll get to that over the weekend, but she was also on Good Morning America, and I want to start here and all let’s listen together as we hear all the cool get totally sucked out of Nikki Glaser. You can just feel it rushing out of here as she talks to the folks on Good Morning America. Let’s listen. She has a new standard special called Good Girl.

Some people think I’m bath. I just want to be like, well, there’s like, you know, this material in the special is like it shows you both sides of it of like, you know, growing up as a woman, you’re just told like you need to be a good girl and behave and fall in line.

And then there’s this part of me that’s always just loved speaking freely and…

But then you know, sometimes that just makes people think like, oh, she’s naughty, she’s bad, you know, like even coming on here, they’re like, you know, this is a PG show, and I’m like, like, you know, like they don’t know what I’m gonna do because I’ve been bad before, but I can. Yeah, just. Star somewhere’s the Sweating bowet. Can we take a look at a PG version clip? Yes, I think we found one.

Okay, it was hard, But. What I don’t want when I get a facelift is anyone being like, that’s so sad she did that? Why does she do that? And the answer is is because it’s gonna lead to a better life for me. I’m on TV a lot, I’m gonna look amazing, I’m gonna get better roles.

I’m gonna get paid more for those roles. I’m gonna get fire emojis from Kristin Cavaleri, Like it’s do you know how good it feels to have Boen Yang write DIVA with nineteen a’s underneath the picture of you looks like he just fell asleep on the keyboard because I was so slay. I get that once again, so relatable. Oh my god, so relatable. Right, I’ve got more from that whole interview, But boy, that does not sit well with me.

It just it’s so forced. Nicki’s new special, Good Girl is out on Hulu today. Now you know my take on the Hulu specials. The Hulu specials, the one you get when you’re slightly past peak. Prove me wrong down the list, tell me the one that doesn’t count.

Nicki said, I couldn’t be proud or of my fifth hour special, Good Girl. I put everything I had into this hour of material. Luckily, for me, so did everyone who worked on it with me. I truly saved the best for fifth Good Girl was developed and honed over two years on the road. It over two hundred and fifty shows, and it was one of the best nights of my life to get to perform this show for the very last time in my hometown of Saint Louis in front of family friends.

And I already missed these jokes, so I can’t wait for them to have a second life again. Eddie Murphy was honored at the fifty first AFI Life Achievement Awards at the Dolby Theater in Los Angeles. A lot of people showed up for him. Kevin Hart opened up the tribute to Eddie Murphy, saying he’s our power, he’s our friend, and even you white people think he’s your friend. And he’s done a lot to show you he’s different.

He’s given us the gift of laughter across generations. Stevie Wonder got a standing ovation and said Eddie finds our common funny bone and allows us to show how much we’re alike. We found each other because he would imitate me. On Saturday Night Live, he made fun of a blind man and he made the world laugh. Stevie then did an impression of Eddie’s impression of him, which got big laughs from the crowd.

Chris Rock said that without Eddie, many of the people in the audience might not exist. He said, like Brendo, you’re the first black man, and just be cool, to just be yourself. It was just you. Mike Myers came out in Shrek makeup and said, I never got to work with Charlie Chaplin, I never got to work with Alec Guinness, I never got to work with Peter Sellers. But is my absolute honor to say and be but to tell my kids that I got to work with Eddie Murphy.

Eddie himself said, I just turned sixty five. Sometimes I’ll let you wait until you’re really old to get this award. Mel Brooks was eighty six when he got it. Francis Ford Coppolo was eighty six as well. The oldest person ever get up here was Lillian Gish.

She was ninety two. She was very gracious when she came out and got the ward. If you made me wait until I was ninety two, I would have come out here and said, if everybody Dave Chappelle gave a nice speech, this is a little long. I’ve made a couple of minor edits for language, a little. Cultural inside baseball.

I know this is true for me. I think this is true for many Black people. Often have fear for their heroes. You worry about them because so many of our heroes a persecuted or or shot down. When I was fourteen years old, Role came out and I would go in and would watch it every day after school like I was taking a class, like I knew somehow this this was something really important in my life.

Throughout my wife Eddie Man, I kept my hole on you. You would the ball I was washing, You would the hero that I worried about. Man, when you came up, it looked lonely. It was just by yourself. It was you, It was Michael Jackson, it was Rick James, and it was Prince all of whom all home on deceased, and somehow, somehow.

You survived Tonight. When I came into the theater to do this thing, man, I saw a bunch of my hero for Saul Martin and our sit here with Robert Towns and all these people and for my life, and saw you, Chris, and I’m like, man, this is crazy. All the. Sole survivor. As I’ll circle back to Dave in a second.

Bill Burr also got up there also along also edited for language. Reverse diversity, higher for the evening staying at backstage, I’m going on after Stevie. Wonderful. This is what I get for going over to Hulu. I’ll never forget this.

Right here is my entire comedy Smithsonian Library. I’ve been watching him since day one. Eddie. When I first I want your first album, I didn’t even know who you were yet the rose behind your ear and I had been listening to Richard Pryor and I was just like, well, here’s another black guy, he must be funny too, So I bought it and I became a fan. And a lot of people don’t know this, but I actually saw Eddie on the Raw tour.

I was only eighteen years old and I was really getting into stand up, but I never thought it could be a comedian. It was the day’s before the. Internet seemed a million miles away, and I went to go see like the Weather Girls opened up, I remember that, and I went with my boss from the warehouse and he did a bunch of. Blows and he thought he was gonna have a heart attack, and he’s like, I gotta get out of here, and I’m like, well, we’re not missing Eddie’s you gotta ride this shopping. So so, like two weeks before I went to see Eddie, I saw Rodney Dangerfield the same place, a break Woods Universally Antitheater, and it was an all white crowd, which didn’t strike me as weird because I’m white as hell.

And I just sat and I watched him. It was all good. And I remember when Eddie did his show, I immediately noticed that he was making everybody laugh. And I hadn’t even thought about being a comedian. But then it would get stuck with me, and I was thinking, like, you know, this guy’s he’s doing it, he’s making everybody laugh.

If I haven’t become a comedian, that’s what I’m gonna do. So a few years later I become a comedian and I’m like, I’m gonna be like I’m gonna go out before of a black crow. And I went. Up when I did my thing, and I got off stage and I was like, I am. Never gonna do that again.

Black people are me. They don’t let you get to the stage. They already heckle. They are going to have a good time with or without you. That is what I learned well.

In that education that you gave me, and for me as a comedian that I wanted to make everybody laugh. You’ve been such an amazing, amazing inspiration. I totally think you’re ardably the most talented guy who’s ever been in this business. I don’t think there’s anything you can’t do, and I’m looking forward to more of your work. I love you to death.

Thank you so much. And who’s an honor to work me? The brother Charlie Bressing piece, good night, Thank you. Enan Thompson said for me personally as someone who grew up dreaming about making people laugh. Eddie wasn’t just an influencious proof, proof that you could come in young, take big swings, streuss your voice, and leave a mark the last decades.

Tracy Morgan said, one of the greatest performers ever is going to be playing in a sketch with me. My god, what if he’s funnier than me? And as we all know, Eddie Murphy does an incredible Tracy Morgan, Eddie Murphy did more for red leather outfits and cowboy boots than any black man in history. Now, I said, I’d circle back to Chappelle. Dave talked about bringing back Chappelle’s Show recently.

I did an interview that made head last because I said I was considering doing Chappelle’s Show again. And I told him, I said, if you’d asked me that a year ago, out and say, you. Know, Chappelle’s Show was a very difficult. Show to do, but it was one of the greatest experiences in my life. And one of the reasons that it was great was your brother Charlie.

Yeah, and I don’t do this bit, but. Charlie used to tell us stories all day about your. Ascension fame, and I. Just want you to know, man, every time he mentioned you, he always said how cold he was A he man, he said, I done, you know, And and Charli met the world to everybody on the said A couple of weeks ago on when I reached out to Eddie and asked him if I could come by and businessman and I went. Through his house.

I didn’t know it was the day after his sixty fifth birthday. What was beautiful His grandkids were outside of playing in the pools, laying and laughing like like you know children. Was pure joy. And me and Eddie for the first time talked about Charlie since he passed. I hadn’t seen him or really had an occasional to speak about it.

And in the midst of the conversation Eddie, Eddie was. The one that said, thing you should do like a Chappelle show movie. Or something like that. And I said, and I said, man, that would be tough that your brother, so let it. If I do it, Man, do Charlie Parks.

And that job away. Can you imagine if Chappelle’s show comes back and Eddie Murphy is on it, that will be amazing.

---

In other news, Netflix and Stavros Alkiis they announced a deal.

Stavros will do a comedy special titled Uncle Stove. He’ll tape it in Baltimore tonight and tomorrow. That was quick. John Mulaney’s wrapping up a week in London. The folks at the Times went to go see him.

They compared this show to the previous show Baby Jay, which detailed how mulaney had been leading a double life of drug addiction. The Times writes, this new show, mister whatever is the sword had settled in, I hate to say it lesser what came next spoilers. John gives a quick topical overview of his homeland that suggests great things ahoy and amusingly mean takedown if Jeff Bezos celebrates how billionaires are now at least blatantly bad on the surface. But after that electric opening, the show proper rarely finds topics as fertile, The Times writes, even comic greats can lack perspective. That happens here a few times.

He segues Niffley from a story about a son’s birthday party at a trampoline park to a routine about RFK junior, but even with moments of insider gossip, but all goes on too long. He over commits to a neat but niche rumination on the way demonic possession is handled it in horror films. Likewise, this big finale, comparing his terrible but terribly expensive new washer dryer to the old machine he grew up with, feels like a Reddit post run a mock Yikes. The domestic stuff drags after awhile, no matter how powerhouse his performance.

---

Meanwhile, Mullaney races too fast over his bigger, less domestic ideas about…

The crowd, whatever their accents, gave it a huge response at the end, but mulaney is a wildly gifted comic and this is far from his best show. Three stars out of five. John is at the London Palladium through tomorrow night. Comedy stock Market. Thank you, Burt Reynolds.

Now every week on the Comedy stock Market, we try and find value, we buy low, we sell high, and boy, I really wish I could be positive and have some by recommendations for you, but nothing is exciting me this week. I actually have some cells and we’re gonna get political here. Our first sell Joe Rogan, and I’ll pare them up with THEO Von. I’m gonna put them together, especially with THEO I have here in my notes. I’ll just read you what I wrote my notes.

And this is the thing about me in real life. I have no patience for stupid people. And that Theovaughn is out there now, like and we’ll get into this tomorrow and tomorrow’s very political episode. That Theovann’s out there now, like, gee whiz, I can’t believe this is all happening. Dude, do you remember who the president was before Biden?

Come on, man, you can’t act like you didn’t know. And same note on Joe Rogan. So I want to sell THEO sell Rogan, and I also want to sell Nikki Glaser. I just the coolness is just oozing out of her. With all the press he’s doing right now, she’ll have a little bomb.

People will be like, oh, Nikki’s special, It’s so funny, but the cool is just leaving. So a pretty negative comedy stock market will sell Joe Roban, can sell the Ivonn and sell Nikki Glaser. I’m behind on a couple of stories. I had a pre tape a few episodes during the week to accommodate my colin oscoby. The results were good, by the way, no issues at all.

I encourage you to get one. Stay healthy. The preps sucks understatement, the klonoscopy itself. The anasthesiolost comes in, you’re out one second later. Suddenly it’s half an hour later, and then you go to McDonald’s and get a two cheeseburger mule.

Oh, there is nothing better than McDonald’s after colonoscopy. Joe Rogan is one of the stories have to catch up on. Last weekend, he was in the Oval Office with President Trump. Rogan stood directly behind the President, who was seated at the desk. The President signed an executive order to ease restrictions on medical research and treatments using psychedelic drugs.

I’ll let Joe Rogan take it from here. I want to tell everybody how this happened. I sent President Trump some information. We have a giganta gopia proplem in this country. Obviously, in twenty twenty four, more than eighty thousand people died of overdoses, horrible number.

And there’s more than five million people that are addicted to opiates. Right now in this country, with one dose survivor gain more than eighty percent of people are free of that addiction. With two doses, it’s more than ninety percent. I sent him that information. The text message that came back sounds great.

Do you want FDA approval, Let’s do it, And it was literally that quick. These drugs are illegal not because they’re harmful. They’re illegal because of the nineteen seventy Controlled Substances Act that was passed by the Richard Dixon administration. They did it to target the civil rights movement and the anti war movement. It’s not because these drugs harm people.

And for fifty six years we’ve lived under those terrible conditions. We’re free of that now. We’re free of that now thanks to all these people that you see next to me, and thanks to President Trump. Now THEO vonn who just sold some of his stock, he said this thing I’m about to play. You can ask him what he’s talking about.

Here. I’m not even gonna comment. Here is THEO von talking about. I’m not really sure. Here here’s THEO.

I think that that’s what I think. Some people like it. You get so like some people get so powerful or like there’s a lot of gay folks out there. I think that they’re they only veer into that or change get in a different sexual like things that are outside of what would be normal for them. Maybe that because they get so much power, you know, like the Romans did it, like you know, they say that they did it.

Or there’s people like financial gaze power gays. There’s like I’ve heard that before. Oh really, no financial gays and power. Yeah, they get so rich they can afford to just speak, yeah, or like blind gays. Tonight on CNN, it’s America Laughs with Matt Friend.

Matt Friend, known for his impressions of Donald Trump and other political figures, headlines a comedy special from Washington, d C. On the eve of the White House Corresponds Association Dinner. Those folks do not have a comedian hosting this weekend, so normally that’s a big event on the comedy calendar. No longer. Matt Friend said, we are an increasingly divided country and world.

From my show with CNN, I aim to poke fun at everyone and allow room for all to laugh in a Johnny Carson spirit. For decades, from Sid Caesar and Carson to Norm MacDonald and Bill Maher comedians have helped us reflect on public life in America. This is going to be a truly fun, unpredictable night of impressions, satsire, and surprises, and I can’t wait for people to see it. Being somewhat familiar with Matt Friend’s work, I will be shocked if it’s unpredictable. Last weekend, during Kill Tony WrestleMania in Las Vegas, the Undertaker showed up and dropped Tony Hinchcliff with a thunderous choke slam.

The wrestling news source Your Home for Wrestling News said it didn’t stop there. As soon as Tony Hinchcliff hit the table, the Undertaker’s music blasted through the venue and the crowd erupted. Moments later, Triple H rushed out, trying to revive Tony Hinchcliff as the sea inspiraled into full WWE madness. The wrestling news source tells us Kill Tony WrestleMania promised surprises, but no one expected it to turn into a dead man ambush, complete with a choke slam, interest music, and total chaos that left Tony Hinchcliff wiped out. Yeah, that was completely unpredictable.

Who would have seen that happening at a wrestling event? Out on YouTube today Zach Newey Tower’s debut special, Twink Death. Twin Death delves into towers religious Midwestern upbringing, the slippery slope of sobriety and medication, why gay is always a compliment, and his deep skepticism of marriage, especially when it comes to the questionable return on investment of straight weddings. Twink Death on YouTube and that is your comedy news for today. Tomorrow very political.

I’ve got some audio from the likes of Dave Chappelle, Theo Vaughn, George Lopez. I’ve got some comments from Jimmy Kimmel. I’ve also got some comments from Fox News. So if you don’t like the political stuff, I will see you Sunday. I just consider yourself warned.

Everybody else see you tomorrow.

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Welcome to the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. I am your host, Johnny Mack. Now what we’re doing today is we are drafting comedians the way say football teams draft players. We’re building rosters, making strategic decisions, and yes, overreacting to every single pick in the Facebook group Delly Comedy News podcast group.

Here’s how this is going to go. We have five teams. Each team will draft five comedians to build out their roster. Your roster needs to include one headliner, two feature acts, one wildcard, and one legacy pick. This is a snake draft, so we’ll go one through five and then five through one, et cetera, et cetera.

Now you might be cynical and say, Johnny Mack, did you have a routine colonoscopy scheduled for this week and you needed a bit to retape a show? Perhaps, But it’s also the NFL Draft today, so I thought this would be fun. This is something we used to do with serious million years ago. We used to have actual comedians come in in draft teams. Some years it worked great.

Some years the comedians were just annoying and wouldn’t go with the bit comedians can be annoying. So what I’ve done here is I have asked the AI to take on several personas. I am not steering this. This is all AI, and I’ll explain to you who the teams are and who the mindsets are. And I have not read this ahead.

I’m generating this as we go. So welcome to the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. Let’s meet the teams. Team Analytics. They’re all about the numbers, ticket sales, streaming views, social media reach.

They’re not here to be cool. They’re here to win. If you could sell out an arena, they’re interested in you. If you can’t, you’re. Not on their board.

Next up, Team Purist all about stand up comedy as an art form, craft, respect, legacy. Team Purist values what happens on stage. If you built your career on TikTok, they don’t care. Next up, Team Chaos. They want headlines, controversy, viral moments, big personalities.

They are not building the best comedy lineup, they’re building the most talked about comedy lineup. Then there’s Team Industry. Think of this about the suits, the agents, those guys, versatility matters, stand up acting, writing, podcasting. It’s all about your portfolio. Team Industry is thinking about long term value, not just tonight’s show.

And then finally, we have a team alternative the indie room, the old comedy scene. Bai has gannarrated the draft order. With the first pick, Team Analytics will be on the clock. And with that, let us begin the twenty twenty six comedy Draft. With the first pick.

In the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Team Analytics picks Kevin Hart’s Kevin Hart goes number one overall. Now think about it. This is Team Analytics, Global star, Massive Box Office sells out arenas roast of Kevin Hart movies, TV shows, Netflix Show Safe pick Yeah, effective pick. Yes, Kevin Hart goes number one overall in the twenty twenty six comedy Draft. What do you think?

Facebook Group, Daily Comedy News podcast group. All right, it is time for the second pick, Team Purist. You’re now on the clock. With the number two pick in the comedy Draft, Team Purist takes Dave Chappelle. There it is statement pick, legacy, influence, undeniable on stage.

Purist is not messing around. Good solid pick there. I thought Dave Chappelle would go number one. But you can’t argue with Kevin Hart. Dave Chappelle goes number two.

Team Chaos. You are now on the clock with the third pick in the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. Team Chaos picks Shane Gillis. Oh, that’s a strong pick, huge fan base, little edge, a little controversy. Team Chaos playing for the Internet and I got one of the biggest draws out there.

Good solid pick. Shane gillis number three overall in the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. Onto the fourth pick it is. Team Industry is now on the clock with the fourth pick overall. Team Industry picks Alli Wong.

Wow. Wow, interesting pick there, But they are Team Industry. Ali Wang does stand up acts rights. Let’s see what Team Industry is up to. A lot of I don’t know about that pick.

I mean, there’s so many other comedians on the board. And Allie Wang going with the four overall. What do you think? Facebook group, Dally Comedy news podcast group. And that puts Team Alternative on the clock and with the number five pick overall in the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Team Alternative picks Nikki Glaser.

Wow, interesting choice. I don’t really think of her as Alt, but the Team Alternative is telling me she kills it ROAs is fearless, she could play mainstream rooms, n be edgy and it’s a smart bridge Team Alternative. Wow, I have some other names that I thought they would have gone with there, but okay, So to recap your top five picks in the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle, Sheen Gillis, Alli Wang, and Nicky Glazer right onto round two. This is a snake draft, so we’ll go in reverse order. With the sixth pick in the comedy Draft, Team Alternative picks Chris Fleming.

Yeah, that tracks unique voice alt scene favorite.

And now you’ve got a show with Nicky Glazer and Chris Fleming on it.

That’s a pretty weird, interesting show that you probably want to see. That puts Team Industry back on the clock. With the number seven pick, Team Industry picks John Mulaney, absolutely a steal at number seven. Their line up so far, Ali Wang and John Mulaney. Surprise, Mullaney didn’t go in the first round, right, but Mlanie’s still sitting there at the seven.

Good pick there. That puts Team Chaos on the clock. Here in round two, and with the eighth pick overall, Team Chaos picks. Andrew Schultz. SNeW again.

We’re making lineups here Team Chaos with Shane Gillis and Andrew Schultz. That’s a hell of a one to two podcast clips, controversy all together all right. With the number nine big overall, Team Purist is on the clock. They take Bill Burr. Oh no, the Bill Burr haters are still mad that Bill Burr played the Riod Comedy Festival.

But Bill Burr joins Team Purist with Dave Chappelle. That’s a killer lineup. No gimmicks, no fluff, just stand up. I mean, whatever you think about Riod, Chappelle and Burr. That’s quite a team.

And the final pick of the second round it’s Team Analytics. Can they select Jim Gaffigan. Yeah, you can’t argue with that, another guy who could have gone in the first round. Clean, massive audience. They’ll sell you some bourbon and you’ve got a lineup of Kevin Hart and Jim Gaffigan.

A little artistically wonky, but boy, that is a very very sellable lineup. We’ll take the break there and we’ll come back and we’ll look at round three of the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. All right, as we head in a round three, let’s just reset where we are, what we’re building. Each team is drafting five comedians, one headliner, two feature acts, one wild card, and a legacy pick. We are almost halfway through.

The Team Analytics has Kevin Hart and Jim Gaffigan, Team Purist has Dave Chappelle and Built Burg, Team Chaos has Shane Gillison Andrew Schultz, Team Industry Ali Wong and John Mulaney, and Team Alternative at Nicky Glazer and Chris Fleming. On to round three. It is the eleventh overall pick, the first pick of the third round, and Team Analytics picks Matt Rife. Wow. The Analytics crowd looking at it, and they’re dipping into a younger viral audience.

Matt Rife brings a huge social following. What do you think of that, Kevin Hart, Jim Gavigan, Matt Rife. That’s gonna set a lot of tickets. On to the twelfth pick overall. Here in the third round, it’s Team Purist, and Team Purist is on the clock and they pick.

Mark Marin. Yeah, that fits stand up credibility, long career, not flashy, very on brand. For Team Purist, Mark Maren joins, Dave Chappelle and Bill Burr. Next up, Team Chaos on the Clock and they select theo Vaughn. Yeah, that makes sense, Andrew Sheltsching gill Us, Theovaughn chaotic think of the social media love that pick, all right?

The fourteen overall it is Team Industry. Team Industries. Just a bunch of suits. They don’t care, They just want to make bucks. And they are picking Trevor Noah, Global appeal, hosting, ability, mainstream recognition, Team Industry thinking about more than just stand up.

Good solid pick. And the final pick of the third round, it’s Team Alternative and they. Pick Robbie Hoffman. Yeah, Robbie, that absolutely makes sense for a Team Alternative, unique boys, strong point of view. Still a little weird that they’ve got Nikki Glaser on top of their team, But Nikki Glaser, Chris Fleming, Robbie Hoffin a solid team.

That is the end of the third round. On to Round four. Most teams now have their core. We’ll see if it gets a little more interesting here. We’ll see what the wild cards who they come out with.

Team Alternative on the clock in our Snake Draft, and with the sixteenth pick Indie Comedy Draft, Team Alternative picks Maria bamf for all time, all choice Original, deeply respected and this is a lineup that other comedians are going to respect. Very interesting. Team Alternative is Nikki Glaser, Chris Fleming, Robbie Hoffman, and now Marie A. Bamford. And that brings us to the seventeenth pick.

Team Industry. They are a bunch of suits and they’re gonna go with Hasan Minhaj. Yeah, that makes sense. It fits their whole thing, stand up storytelling, a little edge TV presence. Hasan Minhaj joins Ali Wong, John Maliny, and Trevor Noah.

Now with the eighteenth. Pick overall, here in the fourth round, it’s Team Chaos on the clock and they select Berg Kraser. Of course they do take your shirt off, everybody. Bg Kraser joins Shane Gillis Andrew Schultz at THEO Vaughn. That’s kind of a thing, right, Yeah, that makes sense, right, Team Purist and now on the clock and with the nineteenth pick overall, they take Wanda psychsw That’s.

A I don’t know what to say about that pick. I’m not sure I like that pick by Team Purist, Chappelle Burn, Aaron Wanda Psych Not sure that totally goes sir right, but let me know what to think Facebook or Daily Comedy News podcast group. And with the final pick of the fourth. Round, it’s Team Analytics and they select Gabriel Iglecias. Of course they do massive fan base, global draw, ticket sales, analytics doing what analytics does.

Kevin Hart, Jim. Gaffick and Matt Rife, Gabriel Iglesias, the analytics people are going to make bank. And with that we are up to the final round of the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. Here in this round, you were taking a legacy a comedian. Team Analytics on the clock.

They have crunched the numbers and they select with the twenty first pick overall in the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Jerry Seinfeld, the safest pick, imaginable, name recognition, history, global appeal. You can’t are argue with that. And I think that Jerry Seinfeld still sitting there at number twenty one, and that brings us to the twenty second overall pick. Here in the fifth round, it’s Team purist to their final pick is Chris Rock. Yeah, I mean, how is Chris Brock still sitting there in the draft?

Right, one of the most important voices in Stand Up, Great Lineup. Okay, Team Chaos, it is your pick. With the twenty third pick overall in the twenty twenty six in comedy Draft. Team Chaos picks Ricky Gervai. Wow, all right, they just threw gasoline on the fire.

Love it. That’s a fun show when we get to the end of the round, or remind you of who all the teams are. But we’ll move on to the twenty fourth pick in the twenty twenty six comedy Draft. It’s Team Industry there on the clock and they go with wait is this right? Yeah, I’m told this is right.

Okay, they have drafted a famous dramatic actor, Adam Sandler. I’m not really sure what they’re doing that. He’s not really a funny person, but okay, that’s you know, Team Industry. I guess they figure they can get a Netflix deal out of it. Okay, makes sense.

And then it is the final overall pick in the twenty twenty six comedy Draft. Team Alts on the clock and they select Comedy Survivor winners. Sarah Silverman. Sarah Silverman a great closer, alt roots, mainstream crossover, still active, still evolving, Perfect for that roster. Sarah Silverman the final pick in the twenty twenty six comedy Draft.

So what do you think? Facebook Group, Daily Comedy News podcast Group. Let’s take a look at the teams again. It is Team Analytics. Kevin Hart, Jim Gaffigan, Matt Rife, gab Iglesias, and Jerry Seinfeld.

That’s gonna sell a ton of tickets. The only knock Maybe it’s a little safe, not much edge there, but if you want to sell tickets, that team’s gonna win. A team purist for the comedy snobs. Dave Chappelle, Bill Burr, Mark Marin, Wanda Sykes, and Chris Rock all command respect in the comedy industry. The downside, they’re all very different stylistically.

That shows a little all over the place onto Team Chaos. This team is insane, sing Gillisanders Schultz, the ovon Berg, Kreischer, Ricky Gervais. You want clips, you want headlines, you want controversy. The Internet’s gonna love this team. If your goal’s attention, this team might dominate the entire Comedy League here, Team Industry.

Now again the suits that they don’t care, They just want to make money off people. And it’s Ali Wong, John Mulaney, Trevor Noah, Hasan Minhaj and Adam Sandler. This team can do everything stand up, acting, hosting, writing, No weakness there. Every pick makes sense. It’s a brand, it’s a network, it’s a platform.

It’s a smart team. Not sure how exciting it is, but you know that’s how the industry guys go. And if that’s not cool for you, then root for Team Alternative. Nicky Glazer, Chris Robbie Hoffman, Maria Bamford, and Sarah Silverman. Smart, weird, sharp, unpredictable.

How do you think they did? Go over to the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group. I will post the teams there so you can comment. And that is a wrap on the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft and hopefully on my colin Oscarbae see tomorrow

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hi there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News and daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. We’re gonna get a little political today. Dave Chappelle did that big interview with NPR and they asked him about the Ria to Comedy Festival. Dave said his concerns faded when you looked at the broader relationship between Saudi Arabia and American entertainment.

Dave said, the United States government does business with the Saudis. Netflix does business with the Saudis. The Saudis finance tons of movies. Dave said, as soon as a black man can make money off the plantation, they try to tell you the money is dirty. NPR host Michael Martin pressed Dave Chappelle on weather taking money from the festival conflicted with his public image.

Dave said, if you want to be that pure about money, then stop driving your car, stop eating, don’t use your cell phone. Everything’s tethered to something that’s just terrible. Jimmy Kimmel called out comedians who have supported Donald Trump. Jimmy Kimmel was on the Michelle Obama podcast. Michelle, the wife of former President Barack Obama.

Kim All believes there are comedians who are pretending to be something other than what they are in search of an audience. You know, you look at some of these comics, you know, maybe they’re not doing so great, and they think, I got to pick up this maggot sorch and maybe people will support me just because of that. Michelle Obama agreed, saying it’s important for people to know that for some of these folks, this is a game, this is a hustle, you know, more than you would think. Kim All added more than not. Michelle said, we saw it in the White House, especially around the holidays, and there’d be a set of people who would demonize my husband on TV and then be in line for a picture with their grandchildren, essentially saying, my granddaughter loves you, and you know, if you believe in some of the things that you believe, I believe this is about someone I wouldn’t get in the line.

So there’s a lot of wink and nodding that goes on. Kim Will said, on some levels it’s hard to understand, and others it’s easy to understand because when it comes down. People make their money, they seem willing to compromise in a lot of ways. Worries me most is when comedians warp their sensibilities for whatever reason. Kim All thinks because he didn’t start out as a political comedian, that’s why he gets more blowback.

He explain, I think I get a little more backlash than somebody like maybe John Stewart, who came out of the shoot as a very outspoken liberal, because I didn’t talk about politics because it wasn’t really part of my act. I was doing sports jokes and this kind of stuff. I’m mostly in The Man Show, and people were like, well, you betrayed us. I’ve always been like this, whatever your parents are, usually that’s what you are. And my parents were very liberal people, you know, very very liberal people, and I’ve always been I’ve never voted for a publican in my life, said Jimmy.

Kimmel has just always been of this mindset, and I think people wore just shocked to hear because you assume somebody you like thinks like you. Jimmy said, I have some very close friends who think very differently, and I’m okay with that, and I understand that people have different life experiences and believe things. I know, I personally believe things to be true for a long time in my life and realized that they weren’t. You have to allow for that. I posted something on Instagram about some of these, primarily podcasters, who are now having second thoughts about who they endorsed for president, and I’m grateful for them to being honest.

It’s the coward normal rule of Maggott and never admit when you’re wrong. First of all, it’s the opposite of Christianity. I mean, the basis of the whole faith, you know, was asking for forgiveness, and that seems to be cast aside. But I welcome those people. I don’t think there’s any way forward if we don’t send your letters to Jimmy Kimmel.

Radar Online wrote about the upcoming end of star trek runer Stephen Colbert’s Late Show. By the way, I was on LinkedIn and I saw somebody posted like, hey, I just got a production assistant job at the Late Show, and I screen grabbed it and I sent it to Mike from the Letterman pot and I’m like, should we tell her? I mean, I guess it’s good to have five weeks experience than none, but I’m happy for you. I digress. A network insider tells Radar Online the grim realities of winding down a major production like The Late Show or playing out in a pretty dark way.

It’s all created a dark, toxic vibe of the show and on the set. Because these network back writing and producing jobs are hard to come by in New York City, people stay in them for decades if they can. You can practically smell the misery and pain that hang in the air. Radar Online said there was a rumor That’s star trek runer Stephen Colbert, had signed a thirteen and a half million dollar deal with Netflix for a seven episode series. That would just be insane.

Roteen and a half divided by seven is like almost two million, not quite lazy math. That’s insane. Why would you do that? There’s no reason to do that, and that’s why it’s not true. John A source said Stephen hasn’t yet outlined a plan for what he’s gonna do after the show ends and who on the staff will come with him.

There’s been chatter for a while that he can start a podcast and even transform himself into a left wing answer to Chucker Carlson, but that’s not what Stephen wants. I feel bad for the guy. Starfleet Academy got canceled and he can’t do that wonderful job he was doing. Is the voice of the computer. Radar Online quotes a source talking about Steven’s reps.

They were just as shocked by the cancelation last year as Stephen was. Now Steven needs to face the reality he’s gonna have to completely reinvent himself if he wants to avoid the fate that James Corden suffered, which is a total loss of relevance among American audiences when his show went off the air.

Meanwhile, John Oliver he’s worried about the future of Last Week Tonight bec…

Oliver was at the twenty twenty six Garden of Laughs All Star Comedy Benefit, and he said, I’m worried about my show all the time, regardless of mergers. Mergers are gonna have to get in line in terms of the constant anxiety that I have. I’ll get to you when I have some time, corporate overlords. I got a lot of self loathing to go through first around, the show’s not political enough today. I know.

That’s why I’m going to tell you about w camal Bell. He’s on the Who’s with Me tour? Come ou said, I’m termally online. I’m an information junkie. I keep up with the state of the news.

I’ve been on stage and out of my phone go off his news broke and be like, did everyone else see this? I’ve developed a style and enacted a point of view and a brand, and if I don’t talk about the news, people are going to be like, what happened to come out? Did Eve a stroke? He talked about last year when he was supposed to play the Kennedy Center and things one sideways. He said, the funny thing is I was in DC proper at a place formerly known as the Kennedy Center the day after Trump announced he was taking it over.

The new tenants hadn’t moved in yet, but everybody was preparing for it, and so when I was there. The thing that was so interesting about that shows a lot of people were wondering if I was going to cancel it, and I did the show. Because I was on the plane, I found out who was taking over but as a comedian, we’re in the best place to do the show in a place like that because we can talk directly to what’s going on. Looks on people’s face as I left, because people they were mourning for what was gonna happen with the Kennedy senator going away. James Austin Johnson visited Notre Dame.

His trip was recapped by the NDSC Observer You’re home for comedy News. James said, I was on a tour of the campus. You could suddenly see like these biblical statues, which makes you lean. One way that I learned Joe Biden had been here for a wedding last year, so I’m confused. James then riffed on Trump’s attempts to cast Biden as the wocus person ever, saying, I don’t know about you, guys, but when I imagine the wocas person ever, a ninety seven year old white grandpa is not what I envision.

He talked about SNL. He thought SNL was made up of liberals, but according to James, the people behind the show are all kinds of people, a true cross section of America. As for looks, he joked, I hate when comics are handsome. Comics are supposed to be ugly. If you’re hot and thing of doing comedy, please just go in to finance comedies for ugly people.

I know I’m hot, but it’s the exception that proves the rule. Not sure what’s going on here, but there was a press release. Comedian Paul Eliah’s stand up special good Son is being released on Watermelon Plus. Now you think I’m making up Watermelon Plus, but I am not. I was unfamiliar with Watermelon Plus, but I was also unfamiliar with Paul Elia.

Watermelon Plus on their website says we champion fearless cinema and deliver powerful, entertaining storytelling without compromise. Apparently it cost eight bucks a month. Let’s see what’s on this thing? Oh? I clicked shop thinking I could see some specials and they want to sell me a hat.

I don’t want a hat. I’m going back to the story, all right. So here’s what I know. What’s really going on. Good Sun is going to be released on Watermelon Plus.

In the wake of promotional restrictions, Paul faced due to a brief mention of Donald Trump. So as the news goes here, Originally only planned as a YouTube special. The premiered April eighth. The self financed hour long special features a Trump impression followed by a joke about Paul’s family support for the president. The inclusion limited the promotional of the special, but rather than edit the material, Elia chose to also release it on Watermelon Plus.

According to what is in front of me, Paul said, While I’m hugely disappointed the Google decided to restrict my special from paid promotion, I’m very proud of partner with Watermelon Plus, who have been very consistent in their mission of freedom of expression? Is that a thing? If you tell a pro Trump joke, YouTube won’t take your buddy. I’m not sure what’s going on here. I’m confused by this.

Anyway, go to Watermelon Plus find out for yourself. In Good Sun, Paul explores what it means to balance cultural expectations with personal freedom. A first generation a rocky Assyrian Paul Iliad delivers a sharp and hilarious hour of stand up navigating identity, family dynamics, and the challenge of forging an individual path while stay connected to one’s roots. Happy Earth Day Zach Alfanakis is hosting a series on Netflix about gardening. It is titled This Is a Gardening Show.

It debuts today with six episodes, of each episode between fifteen and twenty minutes. This Is a Gardening Show is described as a refreshing and whimsical take on gardening, blending comedy and an earnest appreciation for the planet all the people live on It. No quote from Zach, but one of the producers said, I kind of think as gard was struggling. You’ll see a grown man honestly gas when shown the proper way to plant the seed. This is peak TV in Los Angeles tonight.

It is Comedy gives backs Alt Comedy All Stars. You have to read that sentence slow. There’s just something weird about the a’s and the season that sentence. That’s right. It is Comedy gives backs Alt Comedy All Stars.

I think the s’s are a problem there too. At Comedy gives backs all to Comedy All Stars. It’s John Hamm and David Cross. They join a hilarious lineup featuring Star Trek Ruiner, Patton Oswalt, Bob Odenkirk, Brian Posain, Mary Lynn, Rice Cub, Doug Benson, and a bunch of others. It’s at the Montalbon Theater, named after Ricardo Montlebon, who, of course was Cohn who helped make Star Trek great and now Star Trek Ruiner Patton Oswalt is performing in the theater.

Hmm, maybe Shatner will come by. I don’t think Shatner is going to come by, but maybe he will. You never know. Comedy Gives Backs Alt Comedy All Stars seven thirty pm tonight, All pro Seeds Benefit Comedy Gives Back. Ticket prices start at fifty bucks.

One hundred percent of ticket sales support the organization’s mission. That’s great. A good news from Jeff Ross. He says he’s doing beautifully after recovering from colon cancer. He told NPR my health is one hundred percent.

I just had my chemo port removed. It’s really important for people to know that I’m doing okay. I’m better than doing okay, he insisted. People don’t worry about me at least right now. I feel very fortunate.

And to the people listening who are going through chemo, you can do it. That is your comedy news for today. Coming up on Thursday, it is the twenty twenty six Comedian Draft. Five teams of comedians will be drafted. It’s like the NFL Draft, but different

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media Scraps, Season ten, episode nine, My celebration Original Lair Day in April fifteenth, twenty twenty six. Hi, I’m a Johnny Mackin boy. I was kind of getting paranoid that they were just going to spoiler spoiler spoilers, that they were just going to kill off doctor Cox and be like and that’s how the series ends. We never had any intention of doing any more than these and there’s your life lessons for you people. I was terrified they were going to do that, but they did not.

As season ten, episode nine ends, doctor Cox still with us. However, it’s a chaotic day at Sacred Heart, forcing the doctors and interns to take on burnout and some life changing decisions and the relationships with each other. Had a couple surprises along the way, and we had two more people returning from the original series. Jordan the wife or are they actually married, I can’t remember. They lived together, they used to be married.

Maybe they’re not pro married, but whatever, they’re in a relationship. Jordan came back and also the Janitor appeared. Now I was annoyed because I saw spoilers for the Janitor, and then on the day of the show. You know who spoiled it the Scrubs social media account. What are you doing?

Why are you telling us the janitors in the episode? But yes, the janitor was back. The medical emergency of the week is a man who passes out at his daughter’s rehearsal dinner. She’s getting married tomorrow. Elliott wants to fix him up so he can go to the wedding.

The problem, he’s got a hard condition. He needs a pacemaker. Now he will have to miss the ceremony. Turk suggests holding the wedding in the hospital. Doctor Park officiates he has been ordained by quotes a very progressive online church.

There’s a dig about getting married in a hospital, and Carla points out I got married in the hospital. That shut that down pretty quickly. JD meets a potential new love interest. She’s surely a quirky visitor looking for a nice, sensitive guy who’d rather watch a musical than a football game. He’s kind of clueless that she’s interested in him.

Churck says, you’ve got no game. But it turns out one of JD’s patients is Charlie’s grandma. He invites her to a complete stranger’s wedding reception. She accepts they’re starting to vibe a little bit. JD gets a text from doctor Cox.

The text reads I could really use a friend. JD is like, oh wow, we hear his narration. Doctor Cox had asked me to come back to Sacred Heart to make a difference, and I don’t know yet if I have, But as I look back at my students and my friends, I felt such gratitude for the difference this job had made me.

And now it was time to show up for the man who could finally admit he needed …

Then he gets a second text from doctor Cox says, sorry, that wasn’t for you. JD says, too late, and heads off to doctor Cox. Now, as for doctor Cox, we learned in this episode that his treatment is not working the way they had hoped. Cox lies to Jordan’s saying they haven’t gotten the test results yet. Jordan doesn’t believe this.

She shows up at JD’s house. She explains, I knew I wouldn’t be interrupting you with sexually satisfied woman of any kind, so I jimmied your door open. JD asks Cox about this and we get serious cocks again. Cox says, I need to be strong and invulnerable for her, and you should understand that it’s the same thing you always wanted me to be for you. JD agrees to pretend if he’s telling Cox about the test results for the first time.

When Jordan shows up, Jordan isn’t buying it. Cox says, I love the way you see me. I didn’t want to lose that, and Jordan says, if it helps, I’ve always seen you as a whiny baby man. Why don’t you let me be the strong one for once. Then there’s the Janitor.

The janitor shows up in a suit. JD flinches, but he’s like, I’m the chief of medicine. Now you have no power over me. The janitor says he’s the chief custodian of the Joint Commission. JD doesn’t believe him.

He calls the commission and it’s the former Janitor’s phone who rings, so apparently he is the chief custodian of the Joint Commission. The former janitor points out various minor hazards, including a toaster that he says is basically a bomb in a hospital with compressed oxygen. At the end of the episode, we learn that JD his new friend, maintenance Guy is actually the janitor’s son. JD says it’s great that the janitor got his son a job. Both take offense at the maintenance guy being labeled a Nippo janitor.

Maintenance guy says, you’re gonna pay for this. The janitor says, order restored. At the Reason Paley Festival, Zach Braff said he kept foam antlers from a fantasy scene from the Scrubs pilot. Zach explained, if you remember, there’s a fantasy in the original pilot where j D’s a deer in the headlights and they were sculpted from phone. But they’re amazing.

They look totally real with their foam, and I’ve had them for twenty five years. Sarah Chawk says she tried to get Rowdy the stuff dog, but that was impossible. Rowdy was like super under lock and Key. She told people, I kept my Scrubs Okay, what happens next. At the time of this recording still not renewed, but Bill Lawrence and Zach Braff say they are planning for several more seasons.

They’re talking about five seasons. Zach Braff said five would be a good number. Everybody should be happy with five. Whatever Bill wants. Bill Lawrence said, none of us would be here if he wants.

Planning to still do the show, I don’t know how many seasons that’s gonna be on that guy. Hey, Zach, how many seasons of the show do you want to do? Zach Braff said, I think five. Bill Lauren said, so probably five. Zach Braff said, thanks Bill, Bill cool, We okay, say we’re done with that, then five, Zach.

I think five is a great number. Everybody should be happy with five. Whatever Bill wants. Bill said, there you go. Well, hopefully on a main episode.

Someday soon I’ll be telling you. Scrubs was renewed so far, not renewed. The most recent episode the season finale or series finale arguably two point nine four million viewers. Finishing Third Survivor had five point zero six million. Chicago med three point twenty four.

As a comparison, Abbot Elementary at eight thirty, which has already been renewed, Abbot did two point three seven million and against Scrubs two point nine to four. And in case you’re curious, Nate Berghetzi’s the greatest average American is doing one point five to two, so you would think scrubs will come back. But I get nervous and i’ll see in the morning.

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News and daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. I said, it’s the algorithm loves. I am excited for Just for Laughs, Montreal, twenty twenty six. As soon as I got this press release, I was reaching out to them.

They must have thought I was insane. Like ninety seconds later, they’re getting emails from a crazy person going hey, hey, can we be friends? Can I get some guests? I can’t wait for this. Jerry Seinfeld and weird Al Yankovic are your headliners for Just for Laughs, Montreal, twenty twenty six.

The subheater interesting phrasing. YouTuber Gabriel Fluffay Iglesias, I’m not sure I think of him as a YouTuber, but okay. Train Wreck actor Mike Birbiglia, same note. Otsko at Kotska and Jerry d. Will mc gotala showcases.

The presser tells us Seinfeld first performed at JFL in nineteen eighty five. My French not so good, so I will anglicize everything. Jerry will perform at the play State Arts. I’m sure that’s how it’s pronounced. On July twenty third, weird Al, who first played Montreal JFL in nineteen ninety, will do a solo show for the weird Al Yankovic Bigger and Weirder Tour for free.

That’s right, I said, for free at the outdoor Place de Festivals. That’s amazing. I don’t know how they’re gonna handle the crowd there. That’s good. Like it’s a reasonably big space, but I would imagine a free weird Al concert is going to pack the place.

JFL organizers have also announced the first wave of hosts for twice nightly Galas, including again YouTube star Gabriel Fluffy Iglesias, Mike Beriglia, ots Goold Katska and Jerry d star of Animal Control. Some other folks already announced Jordan Jensen, Ron Funches, Sulton, Kasas, Jack Lenovak, more to come. I’m excited for that. The La Times caught up with Ari Shaffir. The season of The End is out, available for purchase through YMH two.

The End has been called several things over the years. You may know what it’s best known name. This is not happening. The lineup on the new season, Tom Sigora, Ali Sadik, Nate Berghetzi, Tony Hinchcliff, Miss Patch, Shane Gillis, Sam Tallant, Steff Tolev, Jim Brewer, who’s a great storyteller, Robert Kelly, christ To Stefano, Big, Jay Ogress and Jordan Jensen, Joe List, Mark, Norman Duncan, Trussell, Roywood Junior, Jess Reid, Dan Soder, and a bunch of others. The only times was impressed by the room or I Shafer said, this room is called the Box, and it’s a burlesque place where maybe you can call it modern biless because it’s not just feathers.

I don’t know, but I feel like burlesque is evolved and that’s what this place is. It’s kind of crazy. It’s definitely a nightclub. Dave Chapelle used to have these comedian balls, which were so cool because they just invite comics, like all the comics. They’d invite everyone out and pretty much without saying it, it was like talk to each other in trade ideas about the industry.

It was just so cool in there, and we scatted a bunch of places, but look at this place. It was just right. I want to test the sound because we put the stage in a different place. It moves around, and I thought it looked better with all the red. But I want to hear what the sound was like.

And they were not on stage two. Arishfear said, They’re like, oh, the MC will have a cordless and they move around. I watched it was great, but I was so effed up on Molly that I was grinding my tit so hard that I cracked a molar. So yeah, that place rules, okay, buddy. The Only Times is curious about being produced by Ymah Studios.

How that happened? Or Shafer said, Tom Sigorey and I have a relationship. We were openers for Rogan together. We kind of broke together, so we just talk about things. He’s so funny and prolific, and I like talking about things with him.

I had a chance to start doing this show over there, and he was like, come talk to us about it because we’re can to help you. Now. They’ve got a great infrastructure there and a streaming service too, so it’s like they have everything already built in. Tom was like, dude, this show meant a lot to me. We should make it again.

It’s not gonna be a huge money maker for Tom. You know, it’s like pro bona work for lawyers, so it’s really cool of them. Another cool thing is the way the staff kicked in too. They’re all super talented and kind of wasting their time on podcasts because they were more talented than that. But it’s cool to work with a family, and I like the way they really took ownership of the work they did.

The Hollywood Reporter profiled Max and Miani the subheader with the Roan and American War Ronnie an American comedy star. Maximini gets serious. By the time you’re hearing this from me recording it. The war may have ended and restarted seven times, so don’t get mad at me if this is dated material. The Hollywood Reporter caught up with Max the day after the President made that ultimatum to Iran.

Max said, the immediate feeling is it’s a huge relief the idea that a whole civilization would die wasn’t coming to pass, so that made him happy. I could understand that. Max was born in Tucson, Arizona, son of Persian parents who immigrated to the States after the nineteen seventy nine Iranian Revolution when he was eight. They returned to Iran until Emani was seventeen. Then they moved to Sokal.

Immediate attended high school and college at UCLA. He said, I’m very Iranian and I’m very American, depending on different situations in life. When it comes to family, I’m very Iranian, dating and lifestyle very American, he told THCHR. Regardless of the politics, it would be extremely excruciating to see bombs dropped on a country that I’m emotionally connected to. We heard the news, we were like, thank God, there’s an opportunity for a different, more effective way of change than taking Iran off planet Earth.

So if you’ve been listening, this guy got on my radar at the end of last year when they were like this guy’s huge, and I’m like, who, And boy, the numbers are there now that you actually study it. John he has the ninth most viewed special of all time on YouTube with seventeen point six million in counting Instagram and YouTube View’s top nine billion, slightly more than I get. And he has twenty seven point eight million total social followers, including seven point four million on his Instagram channel Max Persian, where we performed stand up and fource. In February, he sold out Madison Square Garden. That used to be a thing.

I feel like comedians and this is not I’m not shading Max, but it used to be like, oh, a comedian sold out MSG, and like I feel like there’s like seven of those a year now. The comedy industry has just gotten so huge getting political, Max said, the regime’s thing. It’s very sad. God knows how many more years it’ll take to rebuild all these military defense systems. The ideology is the issue.

In Iran. You live with a very dark, very extreme mentality. It’s a very religious mentality. Nothing gets religion, but my personal belief is that it is not a way to governor nation. The young people of Iran need to discover who the artist, cover art, discover humanity, and I have the chance to make mistakes to find what the right path is for them.

When you say freedom here, some Americans reply sarcastically. Freedom what freedom? We should never take it for granted. For example, a gay person could never have remotely a life in the Middle East. I don’t take any day of my life here for granted, not necessarily because of comparisons to Iran.

I travel the world, and I still find America very very special. No matter what a lot of people think, the opportunity to work hard and live with your family in a decent environment is still available and a blessing. Vanity Fair tells us Pete Davidson is over fame, socks or his exit strategy. That’s right, Pete Davidson getting into socks. Pete Davidson tells Vanity Fair, no one gives an f about movies or television or any of that stuff.

People just know I’m famous. They don’t know that they do stand up or I’m an actor. Vanity Fair thinks Pete is quite dissillusioned with show business. Pete said, I’ve done everything I possibly can on my end, which means not having social media, barely going out. I don’t even know what a cool place is because I haven’t been to any of them.

So he got involved with the socks company, Double Soul. I’ll give them a plug, Pete said, I thought, but they were really cool and comfortable. One of the socks people said, we were like, wait a second, are those our socks? We were cheering. We made it as a brand.

We literally bombed him with socks. Then Pete reached out to them. He’s since become an equity partner and creative director at the SoC company. Socks executive says, if you look at the socks base and compared to any other category you think of makeup, clothing, shoes, there’s a brand for everyone in every microdemographic. Socks were like this really weird category where someone was in a fashion and style.

I was buying like under armour socks, which I’m probably wearing right now. Then this article from Vanity Fair turns into like socks propaganda and that’s not why we’re here. Where’s the Pete Davison stuff. Pete says, I don’t want to be doing this show business forever. It’s exhausting to be in the public eye all the time, mentally draining, and it occupies a lot of time and travel.

I’ve done research and most people will make their bank, have a drink or a soccer team. They always other things. I’m trying to find my thing. Socks are a necessity. Congratulations to Sarah Silverman, winner of Combody Survivor.

Sarah Silverman beat runner up Nikki Glaser in a landslide. It was a lot of fun, thanks for playing along. Coming up on Thursday, it is the twenty twenty six comedian draft. What’s that? John Well?

John needed a pretape an episode this week, and Thursday is the day of the NFL drafts. I’m like, all right, let me go with the AI. And I had the AI form five teams with different mindsets like Team Industry and Team Alt team Chaos, and then each team has five comedians on the team. And I had the AI draft and I’m your host and I comment on the lineups, and it came out really well. A lot of production for Johnny Mac, you know, music beds and crowd sound effects.

And I was like, why’d you do this idea? You could have just read some articles they wouldn’t have known. You could have just pretended it was Thursday. But Thursday is the twenty twenty six comedia drafts. That actually came out really fun.

Did you catch this? Last week? The Sesame Street social media accounts posted a thing with romy Yusef and Elmo. Rommy appears on Sesame Street part of Arab American Heritage Month, joining Elmo for short segment celebrating Arabic language and culture. The clip is forty one seconds long and features Rami Yusef introducing a few commonly used Arabic words in a child friendly way to Ilmo.

Santa monicum everyone, I’m Ramy Yusef. Oh it, Elma’s here, mister Ramy. What is salama? Melkam? Well?

Salam means peace and it’s a way to say hello in Arabic. Oh come Solama laka every battle. Elma and I are here to wish all of you a happy Arab American Heritage Month. Happy Arab American Heritage Month. I’m so proud of my Arab heritage and I’m so happy to share this month with my fellow Arabs and Alma, so thanks, hibib I will.

Let you read the comments for yourself.

Meanwhile, Brian Video has announced a Halloween version of Last One Laughing.

Now. Normally these are six episodes. The Halloween special will be one episode. We lock a bunch of comedians in a room. Jimmy Carr’s the host.

If you laugh, you’re out. Well, for the Halloween special, you’re out if you laugh, and you’re out of if you scream. Speculation as the producers have some scares up their sleeves. The teaser Last One Laughing UK returns well the Halloween Special, but with a major twist hmmm from my san Antonio’s. Some fans of the Killers of kil Tony were upset.

You see, the fans of the Killers of kil Tony went to the Majestic Theater to see The Killers of kill Tony on April eleventh, but apparently some of the fans who purchased their tickets through stub Hub were turned away or issued refunds. One Facebook user Eric said, We’re supposed to be there drinking, have a great time, but unfortunately we got screwed by stub Hub along with a bunch of other people. Eric suggested do not buy tickets from stub Hub. Others said they told us to come back from the nine thirty show, but we weren’t doing that. After thirty minutes on the phone, they switched our tickets luckily and upgraded our tickets to the Lower Orchestra for free.

Killers of kill Tony is a stand up comedy tour. The Majestics said. This particular lineup included Ari, Matty Hans Kim, David Lucas, and Martin Phillips. One person on Facebook said Tony Hinchcliff himself showed up as surprise guest. My san Antonio said it’s unclear what caused the ticket mishaps with this particular show.

My san Antonio says they reached out to the Majestic and stub Hub, but did not hear back at the time of their publication, nor by the time of this recording. Apparently, that is your comedy news for today. I will see you tomorrow.

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Four months ago, we stranded sixteen comedians on an island. Amy Schumer, Adam Sandler, Joe coy, Ron White, Jay Leno, Seth Myers, Jim Gaffigan, Bert Kreischer, Kevin Hartz, Takenzorrow, Osco, At Kotzka, Leslie Jones, Sebastian Manascalco, John Mulaney, Sarah Silverman, and Nicky Glazer. No agents, no Netflix deals, no podcast network to hide behind, just at the audience voting. Week after week, you guys voted.

Some comedians went out a little early, some never had a chance at all, and some somehow kept surviving. We had shocking eliminations, momentum swings, alliances formed in the comments section. There were blowouts, there were near missus. More than once we went to a tie. And last week some of you said the count was wrong.

We checked it, we double checked it, We brought in the AI, and in the end the results stood. John Mulaney was sent home.

And now, after all the votes, after all the arguments, after all the discussi…

It comes down to two Sarah Silverman, Nikki Glaser, I’m Johnny Mack and this is Comedy Survivor. The moment has arrived. Vote telling the votes. Matt votes for Nikki Glaser, Michelle votes for Sarah Silverman. Rothey votes for Nikki Glaser.

SHAWNA votes for Sarah Silverman. That’s two votes for Sarah Silverman, two votes for Icki Glazer. Rob votes for Nikki Glaser. Heather votes for Nikki Glaser. Dylan votes for Nikki Glaser, Mary votes for Nikki Glaser.

Barb votes for Nikki Glaser. Andy votes for Nikki Glaser. Aaron votes for Nikki Glaser. Shannon votes for Nikki Glaser, Andrea votes for Nikki Glaser. A Von votes for Nikki Glaser.

Janet votes for Nikki Glaser, Dan votes for Nikki Glaser, Cheryl votes for Nikki Glaser, Lee votes for Nikki Glaser. And the final vote of Comedy Survivor he is from Becky. Becky votes for Nikki Glaser. The vote is exceedingly clear. The winner of Comedy Survivor is Sarah Silverman.

My guy, thank you for my jews at, Cia, Larry Moo, Curly and Nick NEWSTAFORO. And We’re all just made of molecules and we’re hurling through space right now. Thank you. Congrat relations to Sarah. She played a clean game, got very few votes throughout this whole thing.

The deserving winner. Sarah Silverman, the winner of the inaugural Comedy Survivor. Thank you all for playing. This was a lot of fun. So what I’m gonna do now?

I gotta give this the rest. My radio career tells me you can’t just beat this to death. So we will take a break from this. Maybe same time next year, maybe in January, I will bring it back. I kind of want to do Comedy Survivor Heroes Versus Villains because I was all fired up about that John Mulaney, Mike Brobiglia, De Renmarco, Siaesi thing or because of the little kerfluffel last week with the voting.

Maybe we do Comedy Survivor Redemption Island and throw John Mulaney back in the game. But we’ve got time to do that. Sarah Silverman, winner of Comedy Survivor. Thank you all for playing. Back in the morning with a normal episode,

---

Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media MEDIAO. Twenty To those who celebrate, I don’t, but I don’t judge. I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy. He was a daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. Now, somebody who I think does celebrate the day is Dave Chappelle.

Dave gave a full interview to NPR. In it, he called out Republicans, accusing members of the Republican Party of weaponizing transgender jokes. Dave told NPR’s newsmakers, I did resent that the Republican Party ran on transgender jokes. You know, I felt like they were doing a weaponized version of what I was doing. That’s not what I was doing.

I’ll give you an example. Before I learned the phrase I respectfully decline, I was on Capitol Hill and everybody ran up to take pictures with me, from every congressional office. I just to take pictures with whoever asked. I didn’t ask how the voter, what their voting record is. At first it was CBC people.

Then here comes Lauren Bobert. She said, can I get a picture? And I already taken forty pictures. I didn’t I want to say no in front of everybody, but I know the phrase, I respectfully declined, So I just took the picture, and then she posted the picture. Before I could even get from there to the show, she says something to the effect of just two people that know that it’s just two genders, just instantly like weaponized or politicized.

So I got to the arena and I lit her ass up for doing that, and she should never do that to a person like me. Dave said, I’m not even mad people take issue with my work, good, fine, who cares. What I take issue is with the idea that because they don’t like it, I’m not allowed to say it. Art is a nuanced endeavor. I have a belief that they’re trying to take nuance out of speech in American culture, that they’re making people speak as if they’re either on the right or the left.

Everything seems absolute in any opinion I respect is way more nuanced than those binary choices that keep putting in front of us. I don’t see the world in red or blue. Dave was asked does he find the President of the United States funny? Dave said, maybe if he wasn’t president. I think it was funny or maybe times as I do think you know that that’s wearing thin.

There are funny things about him, like if I were talked to him, it would be funny. But I think what he does is so consequential and so much of these things you know, in my lifetime, I’ve never seen anything of a phenomenon quite like it. I’m not trying to people it, but it’s remarkable. I don’t know, I don’t know how funny it is. Chappelle also went on Michelle Obama’s podcast We know this because it was recorded at the new home of WYSO Radio in Yellow Springs.

I told you last week about how Chappelle helped them with their new studio, We Are told. The conversation covered many topics, such as why Dave Chappelle lives in Yellow Springs. While I was looking for it, I noticed Michelle Obama has been talking to a lot of comedians. Conan was on that show, and last week she had on Jimmy Kimmel. And speaking of Jimmy Kimmel out on Hulu today, It’s four by twenty Quick Hits, an anthology series executive produced by Jimmy Kimmel, highlighting cannabis and the people who love it All four twenty minute films.

Get It to Yeah All, four twenty minute film stream today four twenty Jimmy Kimmel said, Christmas as a whole cable channel dedicated to holiday programming for four to twenty, we made four twenty minute long documentaries for those who celebrate with trees of a different kind. Jimmy Kimmel previously was the ep for High Hopesay, Hulu reality series about two brothers trying to take their marijuana dispensary to New Heights.

Also out today on Netflix, It’s Funny af with Kevin Hart, a comedy competitio…

Viewers around the world vote in real time to decide who takes home the title. The Netflix folks put out some FAQs. FAQ number one, all right, what’s on today? Well, episodes one through four. Next week you get episodes five and six, and then live episodes on May fourth and May fifth.

That’s when you get to vote. You can’t vote on something that’s already recorded. On May fourth, six semi finalists selected in episode six will compete for a spot in the finale. Then the next night, the final four contestants will perform and viewers will once again vote in real time. Who can vote.

Any Netflix member watching the show live can vote from anywhere in the world. How do you vote? You will vote directly on your TV using your remote or through the Netflix Bubble app. Voting opens during specific moments in each live episodes and remain open for limited times, so you have to watch live to participate. The series features a rotating panel of comedy stars who joined Kevin Hart, who help evaluate the contestants.

The special guest judges include Keegan, Michael Key, Tom Sigora, Camille Nan Gianni, Chelsea Handler, and the very soon to be really really overexposed Nikki Glaser. Will get to that. Contestants from around the country will face challenges design and mirror of the real life grind of comedy, including brutal open mic sets, bomb performances, last minute rewrites on the pressure of performing on big stages.

---

Moving on to Nikki Glaser, got a lot of Nikki to talk about today.

I think someone is trying to reshape her image. I have floated this theory on the program before, and now I am totally convinced that they’re trying to get her out of being like you know, the roast comic talks about sex and repositioner as one of the elites. I’ve got a quote from Chris Rock here that you’re just we’ll get to that. My head’s exploding. But it’s going to be a big week for Nikki Glaser, who has her special coming out on Friday.

But we’ve also learned that on Thursday, Nikki Glaser will host the twenty twenty six Time one hundred Gala. For the first time, the red carpet ahead of the event will be live streamed, allowing fans all over the world to be part of the legendary nights. One of the one hundred most influential people in the world is your host, Nikki Glaser. Now listen to this quote from Chris Rock. In the print edition of The one hundred, each person is honored by somebody else who speaks about them.

In Nikki Glaser’s case, it is Chris Rock who says that Nikki Glaser has all the tools for comedic stardom okay, but has the potential to go far beyond that. Quoting Chris Rock, I hope she realizes she has the potential to not just a great comedian, but a great artist who uses the power that comes with this moment to approach her career like Madonna where Leonardo Dicabrio and work with only the best. I hope this is just the beginning of an incredible, multifaceted Steve Martin esque career. Chris Rock, Chris you there, Chris Rock? Are you listening?

Tap the breaks? Dude? You sound insane? Madonna, Leo, Steve Martin, Nikki Glaser? Should we play?

Which one of these does not belong? Nicki’s wonderful and all? Or what a year out from Who’s Nikki Glaser to? She’s on the Tom Brady Roast and his host of the Golden Globes Tap the brakes. I’m not saying she’s bad, but relax before you put her in the Hall of Fame.

Of Hall of Fame. My kudos to Nikki Glaser’s PR team and the agents and whoever is behind this. But because boy, they are just getting the messaging out. Times article is titled Nikki Glaser is saying Yes to it all. We’re told if Nikki Glaser is ever in legal trouble, she will call Kim Kardashian.

The two just wrapped a movie together, So you see what I’m saying here. We are moving Nicki away from Roast Comedian and you know, Golden Globes following up for Joe Coy. Like this is now establishment, Nikki Glaser Hollywood Insider Nikki Glaser is what’s going on here? It’s neither good nor bad. I just want to call everyone out on it, Like I see what’s going on here?

Nikki Glaser says, I’m proud to say that I have Kim Kardashian’s phone number and she would take my call at any time of night. She went to law school. She’s smart and calculating in a really brilliant way, and I know she would go to bad for me on almost anything. And the next week I might be scared to text her, but right now I feel like it’s a solid connection. We then go through Nikki Glaser’s resume Dancing with the Stars, MESK, singer, f Boy, Island, blind date.

I think we’re going to try and like forget about that stuff. Even time admits it. They say she was for a long time not exactly a list. Nicki says, I don’t have as many famous friends as you think through all comics you don’t know. Then we go through the roast of Tom Brady and the Golden Globes.

Then she talks about the movie and says, in Hollywood, you try so hard to be in things, and then you reach a certain level of fame and they’re just like here you go, and you’re like, but I haven’t proven myself to you yet, Nikki. They have decided you’re the one. Enjoy the ride, We’re told Nicki glazers now rereading Tina Fey’s and memoir Bossy Pants. She just has a way of her distinct voice coming off the page. You get approached about books and they’re like, to you a ghostwriter, and it’s like, that’s just not an option for a comic.

Nicki says, I want to write a really great rom and do it before I’m totally aged out of rom com status. She talks about leveling up her career. If something has to give, it has to be personal relationships, ever having children, romantic love. That’s so sad. I don’t know if she wanted to have children up, but if she’s giving it up for the career, that is sad to me.

Nicki said, I’ve always dreamed of having this kind of success, and I really didn’t think it was going to happen for me, and I had accepted that. I was at peace with it. So I feel like I’ve just been given this opportunity to do exactly what I’ve always dreamed of. So I have to say yes to everything, skipping ahead, and maybe Johnny Mackey is not crazy. Nicki Glazier said, it used to worry me more that I’m like the sex comic, and then I’m not going to be family friendly.

They’re not going to let me on network TV. I’m not going to be able to be in movies because they’ve heard too much about my graphic sex life. I realized that people can really separate you into different spaces. Time tells us Glazer may now be a Hollywood insider. There they said it, but she actually does her best work in Saint Louis.

She explains, I’m a workaholic, and if I live in New York or LA, I’ll be doing a podcast every day. I’ll say yes to a stand up spot every night. I compared to being an alcoholic. Going to Saint Louis is like locking up the liquor because there’s no work for me in Saint Louis. This is quite length.

They will get into a little more later in the week because I have some clips from Nikki Glaser herself. She caught up with Fox News Digital. In the first clip, she talks about her relationship with her fans. I mean, honestly, they’re everything. I feel like.

It’s I sometimes get tired of artists. Saying like I have the best fans. It’s like, of course they love you, like that’s obviously, but you know, you really, the longer you are in this career, you realize like it’s the people that saw something in you whenever. Maybe it was when you you know, some people discovered me on the Tom Brady Roast and that was like most people. Then there’s people that have discovered me when I was on the last time I Standing twenty five years ago, and so it’s but they all I feel like whenever they discover me and see something in me that they like, it feels like as a comedian that puts everything out there and really puts myself into my art, like I feel like my fans, I like know them and they know me.

And to be honest with you. I’ve modeled my career a lot after being a Swifty, and I want my fans to feel the same way I feel as a Swifty, like understood, and like I know this person whether or not I know her or not, and that I know. That she likes and appreciates me. So I always try to like, you know, I always try to remember that as like a fan of people, I want my fans to feel the same way. In this glip, Nikki Glazier talks about the roosts, I.

Think the line is always changing. There’s always like a different vibe in the room. There’s always different headlines that maybe are it’s too soon, and then maybe it’s too soon two days before the Globes and I don’t want to do that joke.

---

And then two days later no one’s talking about that anymore.

So it’s like, okay, I can joke about it. So the line’s constantly moving. I think every year I get a little bit more room to go harder, and that it becomes almost not a point of pride, but almost the celebrities want it because they know that I’m not going to say something so scathing it’s going to ruin their evening that it’s almost like I’ve heard that it’s an honor that when I roast people like people like it, and I know some people don’t like it, and I try to feel that out, but that means everything to me that someone would ever even want me to make fun of them. Interestingly enough, she is not taking part in the roost of Kevin Hardy, even though she’ll be at the Netflix is a Joe comedy festival, which is part of my theory that they are trying to reposition her career. Okay, Nikki Glaser has the line in Comedy Moved, I.

Am not a comedian. That’s like, I’ll never apologize. I have made some really bad choices in my life in terms of like what I thought was funny at the time, And obviously things change over time, and so you look back twenty years at jokes you were doing on stage and you’re like, I would never say that now, and I shouldn’t have said it then even But I was just kind of an idiot and young and feeling out this business and maybe hanging around the wrong crowds that were giving me the wrong feedback for what works. And so I am always willing to apologize for something I said, if it truly hurts someone’s feelings, even if I think the joke is funny, I might stand by it and go it’s funny, but I will I’ll. I’ve pulled back on so many.

Jokes that I didn’t do that were the funniest jokes I’ve ever written because they would hurt someone’s feelings. I think that comes first, and it should. Coming up at noon Eastern today, we will find out if Nikki Glaser is the winner of Comedy Survivor. Coming up at noon Eastern the winner of Comedy Survivor is it Nicky Glazer or Sarah Silverman. Then on Thursday, it’s the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft.

This has come out really well. We have five comedy teams representing different mindsets like industry comics, the ALTI comics, and each team drafted a lineup of five performers. It came out really well. That will be Thursday’s episode. Why Thursday, That’s when the NFL Draft is and I needed to pretape an episode this week.

I watched Trevor Noah’s special. At first, I was like, this is my favorite special the year, and then I checked my notes and I’m like oh, No, Chris Fleming Special. Chris Fileming Special is going to be really hard to beat. Probably winds up as the number one just because it’s so different and awesome and hilarious. But I really really liked Trevor’s special because it’s mostly of a piece.

Now his Closer is almost like a separate show and a different vibe. But that first I don’t know what is forty eight minutes, I’ll guess is all of a piece, and he’s talking about hosting the Grammys and I’m taking a shot at him and some other political stuff, and it’s just fantastic. Really really impressed by Trevor Noah Special. I enjoyed it a lot. Back to the time.

One hundred most influential people on that list is Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan being endorsed by TV’s Mike Rowe. I’ve met Mike a million years ago. Was a cool guy, Mike row said. I’d like to tell you I enjoyed every moment of my interview with Joe Rogan, but that wouldn’t be entirely true.

Never mind podcasting, Joe Rogan has changed broadcasting. His conversations have moved markets, influenced elections and introduced millions of people to countless subjects that they didn’t know they were interested in. He has defied our short attention spans and given his guests, for better or worse, enough time to reveal their true selves. In other words, by letting people talk, he’s changing the way we listen. Billy Crystal returning to Broadway.

He’ll have a one man show. Eight sixty. Eight sixty was the address of the home Billy Crystal lost in the twenty twenty five Palisades fire. Billy says, we lived there for forty six years. I invite you to come inside eight sixty and I’ll tell you all the funny and touching things that happened there, not only in my career, but to our family.

It’s a joyous, heartfelt visit about how with the love of family and friends and you’re inner strength, you can get through tough times. I look forward to returning to Broadway and welcoming audiences to eight sixty. Previews begin in October, then a limited twelve week engagement at the Schubert Theater in New York City. And we’re getting a little long here today. A quick hit from the Sydney Comedy Festival.

Richard Gadd, that’s the guy from Baby Reindeer. He has canceled his appearance at the Sydney Comedy Festival. He was supposed to appear at the Sydney Opera House, a beautiful building. You’ve heard of it, well, I’ve been inside it. It is awesome.

Richard Gadd was going to perform there on Monday May eleventh for a one night only live on stage conversation. That show has now been canceled. At the time of this recording, a reason has not been given. The Sydney Opera House said, we regret to inform you that in conversation with Richard Gadd will not proceed. Hmmm.

That is your comedy news for today, all right, coming up at noon, it is the finale, the reveal who is the comedy Survivor. I’ll catch up with you guys in a bit.