Dane Cook Porch Pirate Video PLUS New Specials from Che, Bamford, Hardwick

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Featured: Dane Cook, Michael Che, Maria Bamford, Chris Hardwick, Colin Jost, Scarlett Johansson

What’s in This Episode

• Dane Cook porch pirate theft – dog treats stolen from doorstep
• Dane Cook documentary on Netflix – career retrospective and personal story
• Michael Che new Netflix special releasing October 13th
• Maria Bamford documentary ‘Paralyzed by Hope’ on Netflix October 23rd
• Chris Hardwick special ‘The Middle Ages’ on Guerrilla Comedy Plus October 5th

Questions Answered in This Episode

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Full Transcript

This transcript was automatically generated and may contain spelling and/or transcription errors.

Caloroga Shark Media. Jam-packed one today. Hi, I’m Johnny Mac with your Daily Comedy News. Dean Cook is asking the public to help identify a woman who Dean Cook says stole a delivery from his doorstep. Dane posted a video on social media captured from his home surveillance system.

One angle appears to be from his doorbell camera. The other looks out to a street. The video footage shows a woman wearing a baggy, sleeveless tank top that says, I love L.A. And she’s wearing flip-flops. She walks up to Dane Cook’s front door.

She shuffles off, holding a large brown bag in her right hand. The other angle shows her running to her SUV, a white SUV, and driving off. Dean Cook says, this haggard porch pirate got away with our dog treats. I mean, not funny. Don’t rob Dean Cook.

What are you doing? But anyway, we’re on the lookout for a woman in a white SUV, that narrows it down, wearing a baggy sleeveless tank top that says, I love LA. She was wearing flip-flops. At six in the morning, when she stole Dane Cook’s dog treats, Dane posted on Instagram, she says I love L.A. As indicated on her unwashed loose top, but what this action really says is I don’t love myself and want to be caught before I get into my angel white Range Rover and dash to the next porch.

Let’s find her L.A. And give my dogs the treats they’ve earned from sit, stay, and don’t bark at strangers unless it’s a sea hag taking your delights. Now, what’s really strange is that Dane Cook’s dog treats were stolen on a day where he was promoting a new video on demand movie. Isn’t that a weird coincidence? You don’t hear from Dane Cook for months.

And then on the day he’s promoting his new movie, somebody steals his dog treats. Wow. What a coincidence. Dane spoke to Deadline and said, when I was approached by the producers that I made the film with, I knew the moment was finally coming to light. Where I was like, I feel like I can own this moment as a creative person.

I feel like I can tell an incredible story that also includes the highs and lows of the career. And I really looked at this, I love this line because this is the money line, and I really looked at this like the Empire Strikes Back story and the greatest story of my career. Does that mean there’s a third act in Dane Cook’s career? Huh. Deadline was like, why tell the story now?

And they weren’t talking about the suspicious dog biscuit robbery on the day Dane was promoting a new movie. No, no. They were curious about the documentary itself. And of course, he was already saying, well, I wouldn’t do it the other way anyway. When I sat in the chair, I said, I’m going to give you everything I have in this moment.

So if you ask the question, there’ll be no barrier. I’m really ready to put everything I have into this moment. And he asked everything that I think you’d want to understand and even beyond that. So ready for it. Strong enough to share the story, but also in a place in my life where I was a better person from this.

I was happier, healthier. It was more in my faith. I was in an incredible relationship that would turn into a marriage with my best friend, and so why wouldn’t I now want to own our darkest capsizing moment when I’m at the happiest, most fulfilling moment? There is a lot of this. We’ll picket it over the next week or so, but I don’t want to roadblock the show with nothing but Dane Cook because we have so much to get to, including the Michael Che trailer.

He’s got a new special out on October 13th on Netflix, and I’ve made a slight edit for language. Here’s Che. You know what really bothers me about Colin being married to Scarlett Johansson? Is that he acts like it’s normal. That’s annoying.

He acts like it’s. Not a miracle. Because we don’t live that far from each other. We live like five minutes away from each other. Sometimes he’ll like call me and be like, hey man, we’re having dinner at the house.

It’s just me and Scarlett. Why don’t you bring a date? We could do a double date thing. I’m like, I can’t bring the women that I date. To Scarlett Johansson’s house.

I don’t need her calling my phone like, hey, I think your date stole our silverware. I’m like, yeah, she do that sometimes. She gets nervous. I thought I heard her jingling in the Uber. I’ll keep an eye out for you, Scar.

Can I call you Scar? Good stuff there, but what’s an even better trailer, and that’s not a backhanded compliment to Che, I just love this trailer for the Maria Bamford documentary, and I’m not a Bamford stan. I know the comedians love her, and I find her okay, but this trailer is fantastic. Oh, hello. Hi, Maria.

We don’t know if you want to take part in making a documentary, but regardless, you wanted money for today. Yes! I don’t know if that’s how it works, but maybe we have no ethics here. When I first. Moved out to Los Angeles, I wanted to be rich and famous.

But then I found out about clerical work. The first time I saw her, I didn’t get what she was doing. What do they all say when you start a new job? We do things a little differently around here. What am I watching?

So hold on to your hats. It’s gonna be a wild ride. But it never is. Sometimes it feels like you’re talking to a lobster whose shell has been removed, and it’s just feeling every single molecule in the room. Mom told me recently, hey, when you don’t.

Wear makeup, you look mentally ill. Now I’m sure to wear thick green eyeshadow and a line of lipstick around my lips. Baby, look pretty now, mommy. When I was around 9 or 10, I remember just feeling like there is something desperately wrong with me. I was a bit of a dark kid growing up.

Occasionally, I’d stage my own death for fun. My mom would say, sometimes I just couldn’t find. You in the house. And I just thought, we’re just going to have to drag the lake. I’d always known I had depression, and there was bipolar in my family.

But at a certain point, I started feeling extremely depressed. Marie was on this very, very risky adventure of becoming a comedian. It did give me some relief being on stage. There’s a lot of memes out there for health that are sort of like, hey, tell someone about it. Hey, you okay?

Feels emotionally honest. Think of all the people for whom her experience is real. It’s all funny and heartbreaking at the same time. She’s my favorite comedian. I am not a good time.

I am an assignment from a therapist. I am something comics go to see to go, huh. Maria is just a true net positive in this world. Old MacDonald had a pterodactyl E-I-E-I-O with a. Paralyzed by Hope will see Maria Bamford unpack the mental health journey behind her Fuhler’s comedy.

That documentary is out October 23rd on Netflix. Chris Hardwick has a new special. It is called The Middle Ages. It’ll be out on the 5th on Guerrilla Comedy Plus.

And then it’ll be on the regular 800-pound Guerrilla YouTube channel, 7 o’clo…

In the Middle Ages, Chris Hardwick takes on middle age, marriage, fatherhood, and a rapidly changing world. Now in his 50s, welcome to the club, he finds comedy in the indignities of aging, from growing pill collections and questionable digestive choices to prostate exams and realizing Gen Z are time millionaires. Here’s Chris Hardwick. We appreciate immature humor, say aye! Aye!

Speaking of butt stuff, poca poca. Poca poca, look who brought a knife to a tickle fight. If you’re 25 years old, you can just get out of bed in the morning and. Leave. I do feel for Gen Z, you will never know the absolute satisfaction of slamming down.

A telephone in anger. We didn’t have TikTok. In those days. How did you know which relatives were racist? We called that Thanksgiving.

And now let’s play the quiet game. Oh, you’re already lost. Let all the kittens sing.. Chris says the foundation of the set came from his tour back in 2019-2020 with the intent to shoot the special in 21, but the pandemic had other plans. In January of 2022, we had a baby.

I paused work stuff for what ultimately became a three-year hiatus. But in that time, I learned piano, became a parent, and got even more middle-aged than I was before. So in a weird way, the delay actually kind of helped the set. I’m super excited it’s finally happening. Huge thanks to the 800-pound gorilla, etc.

Etc. Zaynab Johnson has her second comedy special, this one called Toxically Optimistic. This, co-produced with the Obamas. Yeah, Obama’s Higher Ground have a production credit on this. Toxically Optimistic will premiere on Netflix on October 27th.

The special’s based on a show that she performed at the Edinburgh Fringe, which was nominated for Best Comedy Show at the List Festival Awards. In Toxically Optimistic, Johnson said, I gave myself permission to be silly by inviting the audience to focus on the good during a time when the chaos and fear are at an all-time high. I encourage everyone to find a little whimsy in the most unexpected situations. I was planning on watching Sam Morrell’s comedy special, plus or minus the travel that I have this week, and plus or minus baseball playoffs. But Jason Zinnemann, friend of the show, and Jason from the New York Times, wrote about it.

He seemed to like it. He wrote, Sam likes a dirty joke, but not as much as a precisely awkward phrase. Morrell follows the seedier and overlooked corners of show business, small-time agents, trash-talking magicians, and especially that much-mythologized brand of stand-up, the hard-living road comics. The debauched loner, traveling from town to town, making drunks laugh. Some versions, like, say, Doug Stanhope, adopt a renegade philosopher streak.

Others pander for cheap chuckles or wallow in the muck. Then there are the joke merchants. Muriel is one of the best and most prolific today. He’s the kind of technician who responds to groans over dark material while asking the crowd to at least admire the structure. And he usually has a point.

Zidman writes, When a disappointed woman he just slept with asks, Is this a joke? He responds, No. My humor is much more layered and complex. Love that. The New York Times, not Jason Zinneman, to be clear, but the New York Times once had the headline, Andrew Schultz might be America’s foremost political journalist.

Let’s just sit that with a minute. Okay. Andrew Schultz might be America’s foremost political journalist. The New York Times printed that sentence, released online. I don’t know if it was actually in print.

It’s not like I have a framed copy of that issue of the New York Times, although I probably wish I did. But it’s definitely online because I checked the exact phrasing before I recorded today. Andrew Schultz might be America’s foremost political journalist. He’s also going to be one of the stars of Miami Vice 85, starring Michael B. Jordan and Austin Butler as Tubbs and Crockett.

Are you kidding me? Michael B. Jordan as Ricardo Tubbs? I’m less excited about Austin Butler as James Sonny Crockett in the movie that will explore the glamour and corruption of mid-1980s Miami as it follows two detectives who work undercover. Hear me out.

I think they should flip them. Because Tubbs always does like that BS Jamaican accent and sounds ridiculous. What if I told you Michael B. Jordan played a cool ex-football player who lives on a boat and has a crocodile and his name is James Sonny Crockett? That would work.

And then make Austin Butler a guy named Ricardo Tubbs who does a BS Jamaican accent. I mean, let’s flip the casting there. Miami Vice 85 is said to be inspired by the pilot episode of Miami Vice. You know the one with Phil Collins in the air tonight.

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And also the first season of the landmark TV series.

Want to talk about something that is right in my wheelhouse? Miami Vice 85, dudes. It’ll be out in IMAX May 19th, 2028. No, not 2027. 2028. We’ll be talking about this one for a year and a half, apparently.

Controversial mega comedian Nate Bergenzi. He’s out there. He’s all about the cars. And he wrote for website fromtheroad.ford.com. It’s almost as if he were paid to write this.

But who knows? Maybe in his heart, He just wanted to write about cars. The controversial MAGA comedian wrote a while back, I got a call from Ford asking if I’d help get the word out about the real pros working at their dealerships every day to keep all our cars and tracks running. They also helped me to host Ford’s Accelerate the Essential Economy conference. The controversial MAGA comedian said, I was excited to be asked, but also worried they might have called the wrong person.

I don’t know much about cars. Time out. Money has a way of making you do things, Nate. Just saying. Time in.

When I first got my used car in high school, the stick shift was sticky to the touch, so I put a tennis ball over the knob to keep my hand less gross. That’s the first and last time I tried to fix a car. But seriously, I was honored to be asked, and quite possibly paid. I was always dreaming of working with Ford and loved my Bronco. Nate Bregazzi is telling us he always dreamed of working with Ford.

Now, I’ve read a lot of interviews with Nate over the years. I’ve never heard that as one of his career goals. But OK, I accept your premise, Nate said. I often talk about Ford as the type of comedy I want to build. Their work is quality and it’s a family owned business that people not only want to work at, they want their children and grandchildren to work there, too.

But could I, controversial mega-comedian Nate Borghese, be the spokesperson for real parts, real pros, real easy with this little knowledge about cars? And what’s the essential economy anyway? When I met with Ford for the first time, they made it really straightforward. I didn’t need to know about the real parts or be one of the real pros. They already have people for that.

I’m the real easy, which is a position I feel very qualified for. This campaign isn’t about me knowing things. It’s about me getting paid. No, sorry, I misread that sentence. He said, it’s about me not knowing things and that being totally okay.

That’s because Ford has the parts needed to fix your Ford. The people in the service department are pros that know what they’re doing, and they can even come to you, saving you a bunch of time. The new TV season is underway. Jimmy Kimmel Live won the premiere week in late night in both total viewers and adults 18 to 49 for the week of September 21st. Kimmel averaged 2.29 million viewers and a. 21 rating in the 18 to 49s.

The number two show is The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon with 1.3 million viewers. And Byron Allen thing on CBS, 704,000 people in the first half hour, 521,000 in the second half hour, all at 1130. Audible’s got a new thing called The Moons of L.A. An Audible comedy series. Ken Jeong, Randall Park, and Daniel Dae Kim star.

The Moons of L.A. Premieres October 8th. In the coming-of-age comedy, we follow Chloe Moon, a precocious middle schooler obsessed with true crime podcasts. Who dreams of becoming an investigative journalist when she discovers her parents’ marriage is on the rocks. Oh no, Chloe does what any aspiring detective would do.

She launches an investigation. Okay, good job there. Vulture has their comedians you should know and will know. Did I get the title right today? I think I did.

I could check, but that’s not fun. One of them is Janet McNamara, and Vulture tells us in Janet McNamara’s 2026 YouTube special Not Smart Enough, She describes the experience of trying to get an autism diagnosis, it’s a defining part of her story, in an episode of This American Life. McNamara details years of wondering why she can’t perform the social niceties other people handle with ease, which has made her day job as an accountant increasingly difficult. Her first experience with fame was in 2010, when she filmed a deliberately cringe-inducing audition for American Idol that went mega-viral 16 years later. That performance of a woman clueless about her own awkwardness has morphed into McNamara’s more settled, self-possessed stage persona.

Two quick questions with Janet from Vulture. Question number one. What non-comedy skill do you possess that you’re most proud of? She says, I had a full-time job as an accountant up until a few months ago. I didn’t BS my day job as an accountant.

I was good at it, and I worked hard. Audits are fun, at least when they don’t find anything. Question number two. What is the most earnest goal you have? McNamara said, I’d like to be able to complete a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle in less than an hour.

Right now, it takes me about four hours. But I’ve been studying professional puzzlers on YouTube, and I think with the right focus, I can make it happen by 2030. That’s your comedy news for today. Don’t forget, out this weekend on Sunday, Is Late Night Dead? Johnny Mac’s new sister series about late night.

This week’s topic, 1230 David Letterman. That is its own feed. The show is called Is Late Night Dead? Where have you found this? You’ll find that.

Hit the follow button. I will eventually use those on this feed, but not yet. On this feed this weekend, Saturday is a deep dive about Bill Burr. Sunday is a look at the New York Times horrible list of what they said are the top 100 TV shows of the 21st century. And my goodness, are they wrong.

So check that out and I will see you tomorrow.

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