Daily Comedy News Podcast Transcripts

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hi there, Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. I will talk about this David Letterman guy, he had Adam Sandler Runner show. We’ll talk about it on the second half. I’m starting to wonder now have I been on the wrong team for the last thirty something years?

Should I have been Team Jay the whole time? As Dave lost his way? We’ll get into that. The true King of twelve thirty. Conan O’Brien, he’s going to be on the Rest Is History podcast.

That is a fantastic podcast. Have you ever listened to that one? They’re doing an episode about the Beatles. Have you been watching the new version of Anthology on Disney Plus? Well, I haven’t, because you know, that would be supporting fascism.

But I heard some other people are watching it and they’re saying it’s really good in that they’ve upscaled the video. But of course I don’t do such things. I go upstairs and I watch the nineteen ninety five DVDs of Anthology. The Rest Is History is doing a two part special. Conan O’Brien said they were singer songwriters who wrote their own music and in so many ways broke the mold.

Most groups at the time had a clear frontman Deanna and the Bell Mouns, for example, and there was a real pressure on them to follow that model. For a moment they were even Johnny and the Moondogs, but they always knew they were a group. Now, as I’m rewatching the nineteen ninety five anthology DVDs up until like sixty five, it really is John Lennon and the guys.

And then I actually believe in the Paul is Dead theory.

I think Billy Shears, who are you familiar with? This Paul is dead replaced by a look alike. Some people refer to him as Billy Shears, some refer to him as William Campbell. But whoever the replacement Paul McCartney is, that guy is a Hall of Famer because if you accept the theory is true, which of course it is William Campbell, Billy Shears has had a Hall of Fame career if you just look at the late Beatles stuff after John kind of checked out, and then all the stuff from Wings in the solo years, fake Paul McCartney has put out a body of work that the real Paul McCartney couldn’t touch. I mean, it really was John Lennon and the Beatles up until basically the replacement.

Think about it, Get your DVDs out, watch the original anthology. Don’t support fascism and you’ll see what I mean. I digress. Conan said, the Beatles single handedly brought us from black and white to color. The volume of work they have is incredible.

They remain as relevant today as they were in nineteen sixty four, and I’m proud of you, guys. I thought I was going to have to get on here today and lecture everyone this Jim Gaffigan Bourbon video. It has now leveled off. It is steady at three and a half million views. That means either the algorithm has slowed it down or you guys came to your senses to stop watching this thing, and I thank you for that.

I did notice it has three and a half million views, but only twenty seven thousand likes. I was curious, is that a lot of likes? It doesn’t seem like a lot of likes, But I asked chat cheapt who said, short answer, yes, that’s solid, not spectacular, but definitely not bad. Here’s how it breaks down. According to chat cheapt.

A typical YouTube like a rate is a round point five percent to two percent. Jim Gaffigan’s video is at point seven seven percent. That’s comfortably within the normal band. Chat says, for a video with three and a half million views, the platform average would put you somewhere between seventeen thousand, five hundred likes and seventy thousand likes. Again, the burb video as twenty seven thousand.

Chat says twenty seven thousand sits in the lower middle range respectable engagement, especially if the content is something that naturally drives people to smash the light button. What it usually means is people watch the video but didn’t feel a strong emotional push to interact. The reach is high views, but the engagement intent might be mild. Still totally healthy, nothing to worry about. Kevin Hart has put out his mount Rushmore of comedians.

Now, any mount Rushmore of comedians is so complicated, because you know where do you start? I usually start somewhere around Lenny Bruce, George Carlin in the sixties, because how do you really compare modern stand up to what people did and say vaudeville? It doesn’t work. So I will tell you who Kevin Hart picked and then you can lose your mind about it and whatever. It’s just a guy saying here’s four comedians I like.

On that note, Billboard has put out a their list of the top stand up comedians of the twenty first century. I have not looked at it at all. I shared it in the Facebook group, which is Daily Comedy News Podcast. I want to save that because that is candidly perfect holiday weekend filler, like Christmas weekend. I believe Christmas is a Thursday.

So I dropped this in for the Sunday, but I am curious about it. I might actually record that day’s show right after this, just so I know who they did. And if I do that, I’ll drop it early for the paid subscribers, so you know we have this whole plus thing. If you would like this show without commercial interruption any occasional early episode, what you do is you open up Apple Podcast. There’s a banner there it says uninterrupted listening.

You click that five bucks a month. You get this show and most everything else here on the CALLI urga Shark Network, including five Good News Stories, which I host as well. You get all that commercial free five bucks a month. Great way to support the show, and again, if I have my act together, I’ll drop that second episode for the paid people shortly. I’m having some microphone problems today.

I had to go into the shoe box here in the studio and find an old adapter. I have a USB C to USB A adapter so I can use the microphone on my MacBook and the one I’ve been using. Oh, you’re kind of crapped out, but I found an old one. It seems like we’re steady. I digress.

You don’t care about any of that. Kevin Hart his mount Rushmore of comedy. Kevin Hart said prior always is on there first, and his other three picks Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock. Again, I almost went on a diet tribe about how Eddie Murphy is just a Richard Pryor cover act, even though I love him. But I’m not taking the bait.

We can debate this all day, so sure, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Dave Schapelle, Chris Rock, why not build a mountain put their face up on it. I don’t care. Hart explained, Chris Rock is someone who became a multi hyphen it in the business of entertainment but still stayed true to the craft. Dave Chappelle is just the voice of comedy today. Eddie Murphy showed what a star looked like, and he did not elaborate, Nor does anyone need to on the greatness of Richard Pryor.

On most lists of Richard Pryor and George Carlin to finish one or two, depending on who made the list. There was a time when Louis C.K. Was being compared to George Carlin as the modern day George Carlin. You don’t hear that so much anymore. Louis who is you know?

So canceled and he did the naughty stuff and then he went to Riodd and everyone’s just mad at him. Well, he’s on the New York Times Bestseller’s list for hardcover fiction titles. Who’s buying this book? Someone is ck went on Instagram and wrote, Hello, I want to share the happy news that my debut novel, Ingram is at the New York Times bestseller List, number fourteen. It’s been a very rich experience having it out in the world and hearing how much people like it.

You can order Ingram hardcover ebook or audiobook at the link in my bio. Now I’m curious. Let’s see what else is on the list. What am I looking for here? New York Times Bestseller List.

But it’s a subdivision, right, bestseller hardcover fiction titles. All right, New York Times Bestseller Hardcover Fiction. Here is the list. Oh look, as I record this a little after three on Tuesday, no longer on the list. Oh no, no, no, I’m looking at They have the top fifteen here, and I’m not seeing Louis C.K.

On here. So I guess it was a little little bit of a shooting star there. And for the second time today, sanity is resuming here in the world of comedy watching gaff again, you stop buying Louis C.K. Books. Next thing, you’ll come around on Adam Sandler being a great dramatic actor and a terrible comedian.

You’ll come around. I’m having a good day here. This is much better than the week’s been going up until now. If you’re curious. Louis said he’s going to be at the Barnes and Ople bookstore at the Grove in Los Angeles for a book signing on December sixth.

Dustin Nickerson was quite happy that the Carolina Panthers beat the Los Angeles Rams. That’s right, Panthers thirty one, Rams twenty eight. But you see, Dustin Nickerson is a fan of the Seahawks. Now, all these teams are in the forty nine ers way, Well, not the Panthers, but Nickerson, the Seahawks fan posted Dear Carolina Panthers, thank you sincerely, Seahawks fans. Jim gaff again stuck at three and a half million views.

He was on Jimmy Kimmel’s show and said he doesn’t think of himself as dumb. I do dumb things. Let me talk hypothetically. Here’s how dumb men are. I’m gonna think of a hypothetical man.

Let’s say a football coach. Let’s say an NFL coach. Let’s say this football coach has won five Super Bowls. This is quite funny. Let’s say he had this legacy, and let’s say this brilliant mastermind had his legacy destroyed by a twenty four year old social media manager.

Kimmel cuts in, he goes, this is all hypothetical. Old Gaffigan says, yeah, hypothetically speaking, Now, maybe they’re in love. He’s seventy three, she’s twenty four. I know some people have an issue with that, and those people are called women. But you know, guys, hear that agent like, you know, hey, love is love, right.

My point is she’s not evil, he’s dumb.

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And now my dogs are working.

Guys, I just fixed the microphone. I’m just trying to get the show today. Maria Bamford caught up with New yot ned. She was talking about Late Night and said, in nineteen ninety nine, and I think I was on Conan, I didn’t feel good at all. I felt so scared.

I was surprised by that because I thought, isn’t this supposed to feel great when your dreams come true? But I felt very bad and super scared. It wasn’t fine. It was three and a half or four minutes of time. I didn’t grow up with entertainment my family, so I think I associated this weird magic with it, like, oh, if it’s on TV, then it’s a bigger deal in real life.

And it turns out real life is almost exactly like TV. Nw YO asked her about Colbert Gate and Kimmelgate. Bamford said, well, the sad thing is people don’t notice the lack of free speech until it starts affecting white males. It seems like our country is just not itself anymore because there’s fear of retribution. I mean, people get death threats now for saying what they believe.

I’ve had that myself. I did this goofy thing where I fought a restraining order against Trump so he couldn’t come within one hundred feet of my house. I put that on social media because I thought it was funny, and he is an unregistered sex offender, so there’s no reason to be afraid of him. But then as soon as I boasted that, I had death threats and people saying I know where you live. That’s just so sad.

So I think it’s gotten where you go. Oh, even the privilege to being effective. And she laughed and said, which, I don’t think anybody who’s black, brown, or as any other minority experience, is going to be surprised by how quickly your freedoms are taken away. Let’s head on over to gossip corner. Amy Schumer does like us to talk about her, so we shall.

You got it. Amy. Amy went on Instagram to update everybody about the rumors of you know, as she’s splitting up with her husband Chris. She wrote, fingers crossed, we make it through. Whatever ends up happening with me and Chris has nothing to do with weight loss or autism.

Fingers crossed, we make it through. He’s the best. Schumer jumped in on the comments and rode sorry for whatever a feeling it’s giving you that I’ve lost weight of hat plastic surgery over the years. In a easmonjurro sorry to anyone that let’s down. I’m pain free.

Sixteen Comedians, one Island, and in the end, only one thing matters, your vote. Alliances will form, bits will evolve, Johnny Mack will beat recurring jokes to their breaking point. Sixteen Comedians, one recurring bit one Survivor this January on Daily Comedy News, outbit Outlaugh Outlast, This is Comedy Survivor. That’s right. Jump in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group and give me your nominees for who should be on the island.

As we do this in January, I’m gonna close the nomination sometime. Let’s call it a midnight as Thursday turns into Friday, so I can record Monday’s episode and tell you who will be on the Island. I welcome your nominations. Mike chimed in. He argued for Pete Davidson and says because his name always comes up, that’s true.

Also a good nomination from Mike for Kevin Hart, Mike points out because if there ever was a comedy survivor, Kevin won’t be too busy for it. That’s right. He likes to work. He also suggested Colin jokes because the furry thing isn’t going away interesting. Plus we could make vote jokes.

Mary Hinda gets the joke and wrote where Seth Myers that it wrote back? Is that a nomination? So I think she understands the whole thing out Today, Tom Allen’s Absolutely Live is on the eight hundred Pound Gorilla site and let’s get to the meet of things. I didn’t want to put a big roadblock at the top of the show. I think pretty much everyone is now on board realizing that Adam Sandler is one of the great dramatic actors of our time.

In this movie Ja Kelly, which is on Netflix Friday night, I’m actually disappointed. I have a wedding Friday night, so I can’t watch Adam Sandler’s movie Friday night. Hopefully Saturday night I’ll get to it. But this weekend is December seventh, as you know, is the anniversary of Star Trek the motion picture, which I watch every single year on or about December seventh, So I don’t know what I’m gonna get to Despite the greatness of Adam Sandler, but I think we all agree Adam Sandler one of the great dramatic actors of our time, one of the worst comedians who ever was. And this brings me to David Letterman.

So David Letterman is already on the wrong side of making twelve thirty great again. So I think we just have to just look at Dave and realize he got old and has lost his way, and now he’s out interviewing Adam Sandler about comedy rather than acting, And what are you doing, Dave? I mean, Dave has lost his way. So this reminds me. I’m a Jimmy Buffett fan, And at one point there was a group that called themselves the Church of Buffett Orthodox.

They began to distance themselves from Jimmy Buffett because Jimmy Buffett was about Margeritaville restaurants and selling product and knockoff Corona Beers, and everything was just sell, sell, sell, sell, sell, and they thought that Jimmy Buffett the Man had gotten away from Jimmy Buffett the message, which was I’m just sitting in the sand having a good time. And they like the monetization of everything. So they started the Church of Buffett Orthodox.

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And now I’m wondering if we have to start the Church of Letterman Orthodox.

Those of us, the true believers who understand that twelve thirty David Letterman was great, eleven thirty David Letterman was okay.

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And now I don’t know what’s happening.

He does not want to make twelve thirty great again. Supporting Seth Myers and now interviewing Adam Sandler about comedy. Now I didn’t watch this yet. The real thing that happened is I was sitting in the comfy chair and I fell asleep, and I woke up and it was one thirty in the morning, So I haven’t actually watched My Next Guest needs no Introduction or whatever that show’s called on the Netflix. Decider saw it and they gave it a review and said, the interview itself starts chronologically enough.

We find out about Adam Sandler’s time at NYU, where people told them he was funny. Sandler appearing in an early episode of The Cosby Show with that Bill Cosby guy, Yeah, what’s that about him? Should we look into this? Sandler played Theo’s friend Smitty, and then, of course, then Lorne Michael’s. In one of the really bad decisions in Lorne Michael’s Great career, he puts Adam Sandler on SNL.

Now, finally there’s a chunk where Letterman wakes the hell up and focuses on Sandler’s dramatic turns and punch, drunk love and uncut gems. Hopefully I haven’t seen it yet. Letterman asks him about the Basketball movie. In the Space Movie, Decider tells us the structure of the episode isn’t linear in the conversation sometimes overlap, with Sandler repeating stories in slightly different ways more awkward, though Letterman veering off course multiple times in their conversation. A spotlight work Sandler has done for Netflix this year, including Happy Gilmore IWO, ugh Awful.

The folks over at Parade Magazine watched it and they focused on a story Sandler told about his grandmother. There’s a big story in my house. I was in Florida visiting, and I took a shower in the morning and I did my day, and that night I was taking another shower and my grandmother said, you take a lot of showers, and I said yeah, and she said, I think you’re entertaining yourself up there. Sandler says he did not use that anecdote in his very first stand upset, but also says I was devastatingly bad and nobody laughed. I mean, yeah, that’s not hard to believe at all.

We’ve also learned, and Sandler says, I say so many things about my wife and kids that aren’t true. I make stuff up and make a goofy. At the end of the show, I like to remind my audience that none of it is true. And I love my wife. I think during the show when I’m saying things about her, she must go.

Let’s move on. And we also learned from Sandler’s appearance on the Drew Barrymore Show that wife Jackie and Drew Barrymore, who is the co star in some of the very few watchable Adam Sandler movies, they’re trying to get Adam Who’s weight, Which is funny because I’m actually dieting this week, and I’m not doing a bit down four pounds already. Why are you dining John? Because John found out oh my physicals at the end of this week, and as I’ve been joking to my family, I have to lose twenty five pounds in five days. Hey, I lost four.

Drew Barrymore asked the great actor Adam Sandler. I heard that Jennifer Aniston is part of Jackie, Sonny and Sadie’s crusade for you to eat healthy. What is this? I’ve seen your pantry. It’s pretty healthy.

Sandler joked. His wife bought grocery, so every milk has some sort of nut involved, and he switched to Healthy Cereal. Jake Kelly, a dramatic role by Adam Sandler, out on Netflix on Friday. David Letterman, Get it together, pal, and that is your comedy news for today. See tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. We’ll start a little political today. A couple things that caught my eye and made me chuckle. South park was back, and you see, the people of South Parker were having trouble finding funding for their annual turkey trot race, and they decided to turn to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia for help.

One resident noted the Saudis were giving money to just about everybody lately. Cartman and Token got into a little bit. Token told Cartman he doesn’t feel right. He doesn’t want them to pay America for sports rather than hacking up reporters or paying Pete Davidson to do comedy.

Meanwhile, the Vice President visited the troops and he got ripped for a come…

Now I’ll play some of the material from Vice President Vance, and then I have some thoughts about this. Who really likes be honest with yourself? Who really like turkey? Nobody does it because turkey doesn’t actually taste that good. But on Thanksgiving, on the most American holiday, I got a fan over here, on the most American holiday, we are gonna cook a turkey, by God, because that’s what Americans do.

We cook this gigantic American bird, and we do all kinds of crazy things to make it taste good. And look, here’s the thing. If you’ve got to deep dry something to make it taste good, it probably isn’t that good. So that was the vice president at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, last Wednesday. Now the material, he doesn’t know how to do it.

But as I looked at the material, I kept imagining Jim Gaffigan doing this exact same material and getting laughs. It’s all in the timing and the pacing. And I’m not a stand up comedian. I’ve never performed stand up comedy. I’m a dude in a basement recording a podcast.

But if you can do this and in your head Gaffigan voice, and slow it down and go think about turkey, be honest with yourselves. Who really likes turkey? Right? You take a pause there, nobody does because turkey doesn’t actually taste good.

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And then Gaffigan, we would get a laugh for that.

And then this is a very gaff again. Ask tag, if you’ve got to deep fry something to make it taste good, it probably isn’t that good? Do that in your Jim Head voice? All right, Amy Schumer. I’m struggling with this story because, as I mentioned last time this came up, I’m here to have fun.

I’m here to be rascally. I’m here to make fun of things that deserve to be made fun of. Say you have a bourbon business and you’ve lost your mind and you’re going all in on that, or you think you’re gonna open a successful theme park in Nashville. That’s why I’m here. So I don’t come to make fun of whatever is going on with Amy Schumer, but it is increasingly in the news.

The Daily Mail shared some Instagram photos of Amy Schumer, and they said Schumer looked leggy in a Cleveland boasting beige Valentino mini dress featuring a strip of ruffles and bows with black slingback pumps. But they noticed Amy Schumer was not wearing her wedding band in the post, and that her husband Chris isn’t always seen with is on as well. So that has a fuel the speculation onto what’s going on in their marriage. Now I’m going to tell you I was not wearing a wedding ring for quite a while At one point. You know why, because I played beach volleyball and it was really hurting my hand when the ball would hit my ring on my finger, and my hands were swelling.

So I took my ring off for a little bit. My wife knows we’re married. I don’t leave the house. Maybe once a week I go see the trivia guys. That’s it.

I’m not doing anything. I’m in the basement of recording a podcast, so I want to just like not have everybody freak out because you take a ring off. Sometimes your finger is a little fat or maybe and I’m not being a jerky here Amy lost weight. Maybe the ring is too big on her finger. Now I’m not being jerky there, I’m being dead serious.

The Daily Mail quotes a close friend is telling them on November thirteenth, Amy is one hundred percent getting divorced. She got skinny, She’s over it. Chris is mostly out of the house at this point. They’ve listed two homes down Brooklyn and New Orleans. She deleted Chris from Instagram, then deleted everything else.

She’s gonna file soon, but it’s over done, the Daily Mail ell says, shortly before wiping her Instagram account. Amy had instant story that Chris and I are still married, while also praising Hulu’s new show about divorce attorneys, called All’s fair. Louis C.K. I know we think he’s canceled. He’s not canceled.

He got a nice profile on The New Yorker because you know, he wrote a book, and you know some stuff happened a couple years ago, and I’m sure he played the Rio Comedy Festal don’t worry about any of that, because Louis C.K. Plays nice with the media, and we’ll give you an interview. The New Yorker writes, these days, c K occupies a strange place in the culture. He’s in a cancelation limbo, joined by the likes of Chris Brown and Andrew cuomo. Ck isn’t too canceled to perform several sold out shows at the Beacon, but he’s canceled enough that if you managed to snag a ticket, you might not want to brag about it to your co workers.

He’s canceled enough that if the show’s one of his strongest stand up routines in year, you might write about it, but not without mentioning that he’s disgraced. They quote some of c K’s material, including I’ve lived too long to give an f about a sunny day, and shares the experience of putting his father in a nursing home, quoting ck, you know what this place does. You know what they do? You give them money and they take your father. See Kay enjoys dating women his age that it’s interesting to talk to them about their lives.

The line, apparently is nobody gets to fifty eighth single without a horrible leffing life, and you get to hear about it every day. It’s the best. Kevin Hart’s got the second best special of the year. That’s on Netflix. You should watch it.

It’s very funny. Kevin is lightly talking about collaborating with Kat Williams and Mike Epps. They were in early talks about a possible ensemble comedy project with echoes of Harlem Nights. Kevin told the seven PM in Brooklyn podcast, we all got older, and I think our conversation has gotten better. You know me, Mike Cat there’s always a little ruffle in the water for quite some time, but picking up the phone does a lot.

As for the roots of their frustrations, it was about the idea of what we felt. It possibly felt that we should be doing together and that we weren’t because we weren’t. Assumptions were made and feelings developed, and animosity comes in. So amending whatever the problems were in our days of old allows this generation to see like we’re not afraid to do that, and it alleviates the future world of conflict for them. I feel like we’re much better today than we were yesterday.

When I checked around noon on Monday, the Jim Gaffigan video was up to three point four million views. In case you skipped the weekend episodes, Jim posted live from Old Forester the Bourbon Set on YouTube. Jim got a big profile on The Wall Street Journal thanks to Scott Beckett for sending that over. We learned that during the pandemic, Jim collected a bourbon from every state. The Journal met up with Jim at the Great Jones Distillery in New York City.

Jim says, we should probably eat. I have to go to my son’s basketball game after this. I don’t want to recreate the scene from Hoosier’s. They were enjoying a flight of four whiskies. As for the Old Forester set, we learned that the company became a title sponsor of the special.

The company covered production costs. Jim asked the team to throw in a case of whiskey into the bargain. Jim asked for a King of Kentucky, the company’s oldest and rarest bourbon, which sells and stores for over two thousand dollars a bottle. Jim said, that was the moment where I had this realization, Oh, I’m being paid with a case of bourbon. Out today on the eight hundred Boundarilla YouTube channel, Matt McCusker is the speed of light.

If you missed yesterday’s show, we now are in the opening nominations phase of Comedy Survivor. Go to the Facebook group, which is Daily Comedy News podcast group. There’s a little cartoon there of a Comedy Survivor. Thurger names in there. What we’re gonna do is we’re gonna put sixteen comedians on a hypothetical island.

Every week the Facebook group will vote one person off. Hopefully we’ll get some jokes and bits along the way. The boys in the group are debating the artwork. Hey man, that’s what Ai Drew? Does Joe Coy look like?

Jimmy Kimmel. He kind of does. A lot of people could be nominated, So jump in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group and get your nominations in. We’ll start taking a look at that later in the week. Just for last Vancouver celebrating its tenth anniversary.

I guess that’s the JFL portion of Vancouver because there was a Vancouver Comedy Festival, and I don’t know is ten right because I feel like I was at serious when it was JFL Vancouver and I haven’t been at serious in over ten years. It’s back February twelfth to the twenty second names announced so far. James A. Caster, Otsko at Kotska, Laura Romoso, Phil Rosenthal, Rene Vaka, Michelle Botteou, Namesh Patel, Brent Buttz, Connor wood, Ismo, Drew Lynch Ruffi, Bastos Cristella, al Mary Beth Baron, Ed Gamble, Lucy Darling. I’m tempted to go, and I’m tempted to hook up with Mike from the Letterman podcast.

He lives out that way, and I’m like, yuh, we get supportable recorders, we could probably do some podcasting damage there. So I don’t know. I’ll see how My schedule is I do teach at colleges. I have to see you know, it can’t always run out of town. But comedy festivals tend to be on the weekend.

But also, Vancouver’s a bit of a hike from here, so I’ll take a look at it. I kind of want to go. I like Vancouver a lot. Billy Gardell spoke with Parade Magazine. Billy said, during my second show, Bob Hart’s Abashchola, I thought maybe I’m done with stand up.

Then he got a weird twitch and he said his wife knew immediately you’re going back to stand up. Billy says he’s not here to bash the youngins. They’re dealing with stuff we never dealt with. Look, I’m from gen X. We were feral cats and we were over compensated and raised a generation of housecats.

Now we can’t be upset that they’re not great dealing with stuff. No politics, and he says, when you give an opinion, you’re just lecturing somebody, But when you share experience, now you’re including somebody. If Jay Leno said that you guys would do bad, Hey, Leanne Morgan, are you superstitious at all? Before you get on stage. Do you have any rituals, she telled the Hollywood Reporter, I kind of am.

It sounds crazy, but if I don’t have on a heel, I don’t feel like I’m gonna put on as good as a show I’ve tried, because they hurt. You’re standing up there for an hour and a half. My psciatica starts barking at me. Some my styles will get me a cute tennis shoe, but I feel like I’m not gonna have a good show. She’s trying to put me in suits, which would probably be more modern and hip and cute.

But I don’t feel right. I don’t feel like myself, which is looney. And I say a prayer before every show and I take deep breaths in What are you nervous about, Leanne Morgan? It’s not the material. The nerves do go away.

I think what I get nervous about now is when I jump to arenas. Arenas are a whole different thing, and every arena is different. Some of them feel like you’re in a cavern. People can’t even see you. I hope I got to do more of those things, but I’m not used to it.

If somebody like Oprah’s coming, It’s on my team. Don’t tell me if I know Oprah’s coming or someone like that. I’m sitting there thinking, because Oprah think I’m dumb? Am I using the correct grammar? And the Scolar Brothers caught up with stlp R.

They were talking about their podcast, Dumb People Town. We take three stories, usually from the state of Florida. Some guy rabs a house with his cat. I’m gonna break on an entire story. If some woman decides to drive around town with her kids and a baby pool on top of her car.

She’s trying to be mother of the year. It’s an exploration of dumb behavior, and we’re trying to fight back against the wave of dumb in this world. With comedy and Vulture did their list of comedians you should and will know. One of them is CP. All right, CP, what’s the best and worst comedy advice you ever received?

Best? Just enjoy the moments where you’re getting to be what you always wanted to be. I think when you let money, status, fame and all those different things play a part, and how much you validate your progress loses a bit of the magic. Worst advice hold on a material the more you hold on a material, the more you stifle your creativity. Your brain needs to be flowing like a freeway.

I’m always working on new material because my job is to be a comedian. My job is not to say one set for the rest of my life. I want to have as much fun as I can and I want to enjoy my days on this earth, living in my purpose of bringing laughter to the world and leaving my mark. Those are good words there, and that is your comedy news for today. Right hit the Facebook group, nominate some people, and I’ll see it tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hey, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. If you skip the holiday weekend, I get it, but I’ll tell you there were real episodes Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. No holiday filler, Plenty of fun news in there, some fun moments. Check that out in today at the halfway mark, I’ll have a major announcement.

But before that, just a really, really shocking development in the make twelve thirty great Again movement. If you’re a regular listener, you know that the President and I are not aligned on all the issues, but one of the issues we are aligned on is the twelve thirty NBC franchise Late Night. We need to make it great again. The President, like me, not impressed by what Seth Myers is handing in. The President on social media posted, why does NBC waste its time and money on a guy like this?

Which is a good question. We need to get back to the good old days of throwing things off a five story tower, or masturbating bears or whatever Jimmy Fallon did while he hosted the Thing Friends. This is very tough for me. David Letterman has weighed in on the situation. Now you’re probably like John, Yeah, Letterman.

I mean, he’s got to know, like, what is Seth doing? He should be throwing stuff off a tower. He should be having Chris Elliott on doing fun bits. That’s what I would hope David Letterman would say. But friends, no, David Letterman on the wrong side of the make twelve thirty Great Again movement.

Let’s listen, the President of the United States now wants to fire Seth Myers. Hell yeah, and I thought this is just delightful me. How do you think that’s gonna go? So anyway, I’ve never been more proud of Seth Myers. That’s our old show.

As a matter of yees, yeah, we used to do that show and he does a magical job. But just remember Seth. Things happen. I think Dave may have lost it. It could just be he got really old and he just forgot what twelve thirty is supposed to be, Like make twelve thirty great again?

The President doing a great job on this issue. More masturbating bears, more throwing things off a tower, more Chris Eliot. David Letterman continues to cause me personal pain. He’s on Netflix today as a new episode. He has a new episode of his talk show My Next Guest Is or whatever it’s called, Today’s guest Adam Sandler.

Now, hopefully David Letterman is asking Adam Sandler questions about how Adam Sandler is a great dramatic actor and not in any way making Adam Sandler think that Adam Sandler’s funny. Dave, I hope you did not let me down twice in one day. That would pain me terribly. But yes, add on Netflix today David Letterman with the great, great dramatic actor Adam Sandler. Things not going Johnny max Way lately, I sold yesterday.

Jim Gaffickin’s Bourbon special doing really well on YouTube. I don’t get it. You’re only going to encourage him to do more. Everybody go watch Kevin Hart special for something actually funny. A variety watched Jim Gaffigin’s car.

They were curious, Jim, when did you find success? You were on Letterman and then quickly given a TV show called Welcome to New York, which was canceled after one season. What was it like to reach that peak and have a ticket away? Jim Gaffikins said, I feel like my career is this balance between creative fulfillment and getting caught up in other people’s expectations. And when you get caught up in other people’s expectations, that’s when you become frustrated.

I know, I would expect somebody who you helped earlier in their career would call you back, and then when they don’t, that’s very frustrating. So I understand what you’re saying, Jim Gaffigan. Jim said, it’s weird because comedians are very much self servers, but they also have to be cooperative and compliant. They go in a club environment and they have to be deferential to the person who books it, the person who oversees it. So they have to be audacious to get there, but they also have to be deferential.

They need some schmoozing skills. But in the entertainment industry, particularly when creating and executing a show, you have to be protective of your ideas. I’m not saying you have to be Rosanne, but you have to be protective. The skills that work in stand up, not just the writing, but the businesses stand up are completely different from the sitcom or TV world. Acting is something I love, but it’s insane.

I used to say auditioning is like stripping, but you don’t get a dollar. There’s an amount of humiliation and rejection every creative person has to embrace. Jim Gaffigan, are their boundaries you would not cross? Good question? Jim said it sounds corny, but being a comedy nerd and having studied stand up, I do think there’s an aftertaste to stand up that people don’t realize.

I don’t want my stand up to leave people with that ichy feeling. I don’t want to punch down. We all have friends who are super bitchy and gossipy, and they’re great to hang out with, but in an hour after that, you’re like, I feel kind of bad. We were making fun of Melissa forever, not saying I’m not guilty of this, but there is a lot of anger and I have a very dark heart. But it’s better to bring insight and make a joke as a commentary on all humans.

Good follow up here. In a recent special, Jim had a joke about pat retiring from Wheel of Fortune, the punchline being long lines. So if you can’t retire from playing hangman, isn’t that punching down Jim said, no, Honestly, that’s a good example, because I wouldn’t want Pats a Jack to be like, why is he picking on me? That’s where it’s imperfect. I tried to set up the joke where he seems like a loving guy, but the point of the joke was he was making seventeen million dollars a year for playing Hangman.

The meat of the joke is more commentary on how our priorities in society are all over the place. Pat Sajack was compensated because people had an affinity for him. He was efficient, he was likable, he was charming. But maybe a teacher should make more than him. Shane Gillis is going to play Lincoln Financial Field, home of the NFL Philadelphia Eagles, over sixty thousand seats.

He sold it out in half an hour. That shows July seventeenth. The Daily Mail was very excited about this one. Canceled comedian Louis C.K. Devours Hollywood legend’s widow on streets of NYC as steamy romance is revealed.

Okay, what’s this? Well, you see Louis C.K. Just back from the Riod Comedy Festival, spotted passionately kissing Philip seymour Hoffman’s longtime partner Mimi O’Donnell. That’s right, Mimi was seen with Louis C.K. Eleven years after Philip Seymour Hoffman passed away.

Now The Daily Mail says that Mimi O’Donnell is now Spotify’s head of scripted fiction. Hmm, mister ck just wrote a book, didn’t he. That’s interesting, We’re told in the PDA Louis C.K. Passionately put his hand on the back of her head. Josh Johnson got some attention for joking about New York City Mayor elect Zora and Mumdani.

Johnson was joking about mum Donnie’s visit to the White House where the Mayor elect and the president got along. Maybe they were talking about twelve thirty. Josh started by defining a communist, saying that it refers to those individuals who want everyone to eat or want some kind of grocery store for themselves.

And then he said, for his part, you know, Zoren only really brought up Trump …

He wasn’t one of those people that was companning on like opposing Trump specifically. You know what I mean, and it’s wild that those two were in the same place. Johnson tagged that with I would have been like, Nah, sounds like a setup. I know a setup when I see one hand’s papers. Dot Com had some questions for tig Nataro Rapid Fire tig Nataro questions.

Favorite book The Five Am Club by Robin Sharma. The last thing to chock your breath away tick Nataro. Five deer lying close together off a wooded trail. Interesting, last thing I made you cry getting tough news about a dear friend. What would be your last meal?

My morning’s smoothie? Something worth fighting for planet Earth? If that goes, we go, something worth giving up expectations. Spend an afternoon with anyone alive or dad. Who would it be, she said, my mother.

I’d love to introduce her to my family. Any interesting objects in your home or studio? Her answer A beautiful crystal on our mantle from singer Edie Burkel. Last film you watched? Friendship?

What’s the movie? Everyone should watch the documentary Come See Me in the Good Light on Apple TV plus this. Fall Sixteen Comedians, One Island And in the end, only one thing matters. Your vote alliances will form, bits will evolve, Johnny Mack will beat recurring jokes to their breaking point. Sixteen comedians, one recurring bit, one Survivor.

This January on Daily Comedy News, Outbit Outlaugh Outlast, this is Comedy Survivor. That’s right, Comedy Survivor will be the new bit. Here’s how this is going to work. This week, in the Facebook group, which is Daily Comedy News Podcast Group, you’re gonna find a cartoon image for Comedy Survivor. In that thread, I want you to make nominations for who should be part of this contest.

Then we’ll let the holidays go by, and then in January, every week in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group, you will vote one person off the comedy island and we will see who wins. Now, I want to remind you it doesn’t really matter this. The whole thing is a bit. There’s no actual island, there’s no prize. This is a bit.

So let’s all tee each other up so that we can hopefully make for an entertaining podcast. And with that in mind, I have pre selected four people who would be part of Comedy Survivor. You guys get to pick the other twelve, but the four that I am putting on the island for reasons that you should understand if you listen to this podcast. They are Adam Sandler, Jay Leno, Joe Coy, and Jim Gaffigan, creator of Bourbon It’s Comedy Survivor. Coming to Daily Comedy News.

Jump in the Facebook group Now make your nominations. Sixteen comedians one comedy Survivor should be fun. Billboard released the Biggest touring Comedians of October twenty twenty five. Your top touring comedian Nate bergatzy fifteen million dollars in October. Wow, some other people making some money.

Louis C.K. If you thinn’t going to Riatt’ll hurt your bottom line? Well no, he grossed to one point seven million dollars. Louis C.K. Did eleven shows domestically twenty seven thousand, six hundred tickets, grossed one point seven million dollars.

Matt Ryf also sold twenty seven thousand tickets. He did two shows, also grossed one point seven million. John Mulaney seven shows, twenty three thy nine hundred tickets two point six million dollars, and Nate of course up top fifteen point eight mil two hundred and sixteen thousand tickets fourteen shows. What’s fifteen point eight million divided by two hundred and sixteen thousand. Serie tells me seventy three point one four so on average, seventy three bucks to go see Nate Pergatzy must be Nice CNN.

On Year’s Day, they’ll have a documentary called I’m Chevy Chase and You’re Not. A trailer suggests a deep dive into both the myth and the men, featuring interviews with the likes of Dan Aykroyd, Lorne Michaels, Kevin Kneelan, and Martin short Notice. Nobody from community listed there out to day. On YouTube, Charlie Barns has his second special. It’s called Neighborly.

Charlie brings his particular brand of Midwest nice to his latest hour full of stories about growing up one of twelve children, sneaking a beer in a church, gambling with his grandmother, and Midwest cheap hacks. And that is your comedy news for to day or a I’ll see you to Morrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, and boy, things are not going my way way? Do you hear the leadoff story on Monday’s episode? It involves David Letterman and boy who this one hurt today? I’m swimming upstream against this whole Jim Gaffigan bourbon thing.

The last time I checked his bourbon set on YouTube had over one point five million views. It’s probably a two or three million by the time you’re hearing this, And uh, boy, I lasted five and a half minutes, and I’m like, I think Jim Gaffigan is just getting by in reputation. But people are clicking on this thing. It’s got, you know, a million and a half plus views, so it’s obviously successful. And the legend of Jim Gaffick and continues.

And okay, everybody, he was on the Today Show and spoke about his bourbon obsession father time. It’s very important. I’m out there support fathers the liquid that every father needs because I believe fathers are underappreciated. I do. What is it about bourbon?

Bourbon is It’s probably the most important invention of Jesus’s and it is. There’s something I love about bourbon, all the elements. I love the bourbon community. I love how it be a community. There’s you know, Alan I we’ve bonded over this.

It allows men to get together, and men need that. Men are kind of socially inept and they need. Some bourbon that brings men together. I mean, I think some of it is it’s alcohol. I’ll tell you well, you should watch is Kevin Hort special on Netflix that is the second best special of the year, behind only Mark Marin Special and to end just funny.

You should watch it. I did have it in my nose for the holiday weekend, and there has been a lot of news. I did want to talk about the Eddie Murphy documentary a little bit, just about the idea of the return of Eddie Murphy to end up. And I can’t see a scenario where it goes well because younger people will be like, what’s the big deal about this guy? Us?

Old people like me. His delirious in particular delirious and raw, but Delirious in particular is built up so much in our minds. And I could probably do half of Delirious off the top of my head right now. If I had to that, my brain would be looking for, like so much of an endorphin hit that as soon as I saw Eddie Murphy doing stand up, I don’t think he could possibly live up to what my mind would need it to be. If he does his old style act, you know the taglines to the setup, mister Murphy, you have aids.

If he does that, he gets canceled. If he doesn’t do that, well, Eddie Murphy’s woke and he’s gone soft. I don’t think he can win. There’s such a thin line there. I don’t think he should return to his stand up comedy at this point.

It’s been way too long. Eddie Murphy will receive the AFI Life Achievement Award, America’s highest honor for a career in film. This announced by the American Film Institute’s Board of Trustees. Murphy will be honored at a gala on April eighteenth. That should make for some good content two weeks after turning sixty five, which seems impossible.

Kathleen Kennedy, you know her from Star Wars, She said. Eddie Murphy is an American iconic, a trailblazing force in the arts of film, television, and stand up comedy. His versatility knows no bounds cross five decades, is enduring impact on our culture as inspired artists and audience is alike, and AFI is brought to honor him with the fifty first AFI Lifetime Achievement Award. Previous winners I won’t read all fifty, but some big names here, john Ford, Jimmy Cagney, Orson Wells, Betty Davis, Henry Fonda, Hitchcock, Jimmy Stewart, Fred Astaire, Frank Capra. In more modern times and by modern n I mean nineteen ninety four, Jack Nicholson, Spielberg, Clint Eastwood, Scorsese, Robert Wise, who, of course directed Star Trek, the motion picture, which December seventh is the anniversary.

Are you going to watch the film on December seventh like you do every year? Like I do? Yes, of course you are. You’re not crazy. Harrison Ford, Tom Hanks, to Nero, Meryl Streep, George Lucas, Connery, Paccino, Clooney, Denzel and last year Francis Ford Coppla A nice company for Eddie Murphy The New York Times, and Christina Sikova wrote, Adam Sandler is the light we need yes, Adam Sandler.

Uh, oh, what’s this gonna be? Christina says, when I bought tickets for my dad and I to see Adam Sandler live at the United Senate of Chicago, I worried it was a gamble. My dad’s a saidlor guy, but not a live events guy. You may think of mister Sandler most readily as that goof who sang the Honkkah song, or the one who played in during Manchild characters like Happy Gilmore Billy Madison even in middle age. After a successful forty year career, Sandler inexplicably got the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

How’s that possible? That’s the thing that happened. I’ve got a bulletin board up here in the studio where it says Amy Schumer hosted the Oscars once. I’m gonna write below that Adam Sandler won the Mark Twain Prize for Humor. Both those facts seem impossible to me.

I’m just gonna stare at them as I record the podcast. Christina writes. The Sandman appears now kind of a schlob icon, known for wearing Bloomer sweats, basketball sneakers and a scruffy beard he once described as black and gray cornflakes stuck to his face. Christina writes, at his best, he’s slantedly, chrimming and delightfully fabulous. Yes, he leans into elude pose occasionally, but dirty jokes had never been a whole story with him, and that’s why I believe he’s such a salve at his core.

It’s so clear that he has heart. Christina writs, before we found our seats, my dad asked if there was much profanity in mister Sandler’s stand up. Yeah, I’d said, but not much sex. After mister Sandler reeled off one of his cruder jokes near the beginning of the show, I cringed. Then in my peripheral vision, I saw my dad belly laughing.

As I scanned the enormous crowd, No one among us seemed uncomfortable. In fact, what I saw was relief. Maybe they were relieved that the show was almost over. Who knows. I’d have to check.

By the way, big announcement on this podcast tomorrow. If you’ve been in the Facebook group, you know what it is. But big, big, big, huge, tremendous announcement tomorrow. Colin jo Justin Michael Chay were on the Manning Cast on Monday Night Football as the San Francisco forty nine ers crushed the Carolina Panthers as they always do. Peyton Manning asked each of them to name their dream pick for a future SNL host.

Michael Jay said Denzel Washington. I think Denzel, of all the great movies he’s done, we so rarely got to see him just be funny and silly. I would love to see Denzel hosted fun fact, when I graduated Fordham University, our celebrity speaker was some random actor that nobody cared about, this guy Denzel Washington, and we all like, we didn’t play on our phones. We didn’t have phones yet, but we all kind of zoned out. Oops.

Colin Jost went with Tiger Woods Huge. I would love it. That’s a terrible pick, Colin Jost. Jost added, I’d also love if Michael Jordan ever came back now that he’s doing some broadcast stuff for the NBA, and that would be such a cool one For his third pick. Joe said Steph Curry.

I think Steph’s never done it. Maybe it’s the right timing for him to do it. It’s the hardest with the NBA because I always have to be the first show of the year. They can’t do it. You can’t say President Trump isn’t getting things done.

Now. He and I don’t agree on all the issues, and we’ll talk about one of those issues tomorrow on which we do agree, But you can’t say the man doesn’t get things done. I told you the other day he wanted them to make Rush Hour four. Well, Paramount Pictures has agreed they’re gonna work on Rush Hour four. Both Deadline and Variety reporting Paramount Pictures will distribute the Brett Radner directed sequel on behalf of Warner Brothers.

Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker expected to return for Rush Hour four. By the way, pay no attention that Paramount is trying to buy Warner Brothers and they need the government to approve it. Pay no attention to any of that. The President just wants to see Rush Hour four, and the guys at Paramount are like, that’s a great idea, sir. If the President wants to impress me, let’s do something about Star Trek and Paton Oswald helping to ruin it.

Okay, and of course make twelve thirty great again. We’ll get into that tomorrow. Jay Leno says ticket sales for his stand up shows went up almost thirty percent when he made this one change, says the clickbait headline. Jay was on The Today Show and said, I’d take politics out of it. I noticed ticket sales are up twenty thirty per cent, just because nobody wants to be lectured.

When you’re on a TV and you can play directly in your audience and there’s a laugh track. When you go to Indiana or Kentucky or any of the place the country, you’re always gonna have a third of the people don’t agree with you politically, So why even go there. I don’t know, Jay, Maybe you believe in something. I don’t know. I’m not a stand up comedian.

I’m a guy in a basement doing a podcast. Hoda asked Jay Leno if the current political landscape made comedy more of a challenge. Jay Leno said, I don’t think it’s sending tricker. We always said tough times. Stuff that used to be the lost now against the law, and that’s great.

Ultimately, it’s a bit like a donkey. Sometimes you got him in the head with a two by four to get its attention, but eventually it’ll listen. The folks at Billboard recommended some comedy specials for you too, stream if you’ve got some time left on this weekend. A lot of football again today, I mean so much football this weekend. In in olden times, Thanksgiving weekend would be like when I would catch up on movies, or my family would binge like The Fast and the Furious movies.

Now there’s just like constant football. There’s no time to watch anything but football. They really liked Michelle Wolfe’s The Well and add While Frankie Kenyunias, Damn That’s Crazy isn’t exactly his debut special, it might as well be, since twenty twenty one’s HBO half hour Super Homies had its flow broken up by sketches. They liked. Adam Palace is an intimate evening with Adam Palley the idea behind the scenes for an evening of cover songs strung together with stories and jokes, Except most of the songs don’t clear licensing, and the stories may or may not be true.

You’ll find that on HBO. Frankie Conunius on Hulu again. You you have to decide is Frankie Conunius Worth supporting fascism. Maybe he’ll eventually release a special on DVD and you can watch it that way. Leslie Jones Life Part Two is on Peacock.

Michelle Wolf’s The Well is on Netflix. The New York Times profiled Verer DAEs. They caught him boxing. Ver Das said, this is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done. He clarified, working out in front of The New York Times.

Mister Dawes explained, it’s nice to be out of breath at a little bruised. It’s good prep for adversity. The Time says each line follows more or less the same format and example. I come from in India that has the largest working population under thirty on the planet, but still listens to seventy five year old leaders with one hundred and fifty year old ideas. Another example, I come from in India, where we take pride in being vegetarians and yet run over the farmers who grow vegetables.

They then quoted the joke that got him in some trouble. I’m not going to quote it here because it’s just not what I do. But they point out that Vieri didn’t think much of posting the joke at the time. He posted the video on YouTube and then headed to New York with his wife to attend the International Emmy Awards. By the time he got back to Mumbai, there was a chance he could be arrested.

Vier explains, my v’s like, yeah, we’ll see what happens. So she’s on standby, and then I have the conversation with my wife, you know, like if I get arrested, this is where all the money is. Just have this much leftover for legal fees. Here’s all my cards, use everything, all the logins. Yikes, He says.

India has embraced me. I have a massive audience. They just don’t own news channels. You know what I mean. That is your comedy news for today on a holiday Sunday, enjoy the football games and December tomorrow.

Wow, see you then

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Damn Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. If you missed a couple episodes because the holidays, I get it. I had real episodes both Thanksgiving and yesterday, and yesterday was particularly fun. I was a little loosey yesterday.

Go back and check that out. The SF Gate went to see John Mulaney. They’re right. Comedian John m’alini returned to San Francisco, which he once dubbed a city that isn’t nice. Mlini opened the show by reminiscing on his history with San Francisco and talked about one of his recent sets in the city.

I came here briefly to do a concerted dream Force, and then he told the tech bros that they’re imminently replaceable. Malleini added, I got paid before the show. You can’t do that. He did some local humor the seal of San Francisco should be a guy going back to get a jacket. Melini then admitted, I’ve been doing that joke here since two thousand and seven.

That’s hilarious. I guess he won’t have an Amazon special anytime soon. He did some material about Jeff Bezos saying, no matter how much money you have, there’s no fixing a late. He also commented on Missus Bezos Laurence Sanchez. Yeah, definitely no Amazon special coming.

John Mulaney said, it’s beautiful. How beautiful he thinks she is. M’laney not a fan of AI, saying not complicated, all bad. Don’t let the robots take over? How many times did we practice?

He did some jokes about Robert F. Kennedy, saying his wife was in Curb your enthusiasm and he cheats on her like a dog. That joke got booed. Mulaney said, that’s the line for you. He poisons children, but his infidelity is too far.

The Gate says John may dip his toes into dangerous topics, but mulaney is skilled enough to make even the most vanilla content hilarious. And apparently the closer is very strong. No spoilers here. Now. The President of the United States and I we don’t agree on all the issues.

Some of the issues we do agree upon, For example, make twelve thirty greed again this next issue. Not sure I’m aligned with the president. You see the president, he’s trying to revive the rush hour franchise. That’s right. The President of the United States would like there to be rush Our.

President Trump has been speaking with Larry Ellison, that’s the guy who owns Paramount about bringing back Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. Now, interestingly enough, Chris Tucker was recently seen at a Kamala Harris campaign rally. At the time of this recording, there are no plans for a new Rush Hour film, but you never know. My question is why is the President not doing anything about Star Trek. Make Star Trek agreed again?

Stop with the rush Hour, focus on people like Patton Oswalt who speak out against you, mister President, and then play character’s name Doug the Vulcan on Star Trek. I don’t think the President is attacking Patton Oswalt on this issue, this Star Trek, this Dug the Vulcan issue. Quite enough. Patton Oswalt was on Stephen Colbert’s soon to end show, and if Stephen Colbert is going to promote garbage like this, perhaps it is time for the show to come to an end. Let’s listen.

Star Trek Strange, New World’s guest star Patton Oswalt breaks down playing a sexy vulcan Yes, let’s get the sex and that’s going here on. Yeah, hid, Wow, that is what’s uh? What’s what’s his name? His name is Doug. His name is Doug.

It’s his name is Doug is dark. His parents were fascinated with earth culture, so they gave him an earthling name, Doug. Doug. He is a he is an uh, he’s an artist, and he studies vulcan contras and and he is a sensualist. Wow.

Yeah. What is most you know sexy about being a vulcan is the ears or the emotional inavailability. The emotional inavailability. There’s a whole come here, go away vibe coming off of Doug and also that you he is. It is a come here, go away, here go away, come here, go away attack by retreating.

Now, among the issues that the President and I don’t agree on is this whole Jimmy Kimmel thing. Bill Maher called out Jimmy Kimmel’s wife, this is going to go well. I’m sure Kimmel will be like, oh yeah, I’m totally cool with that and not fire back at all. You may recall Missus Kimmel was on a podcast. She revealed that before the election, she reached out to some of her conservative family members to convince them not to vote for President Trump.

She told the podcaster she’s lost some relationships with some family members over their support for the current president. Bill maher addressed the comments. Now these comments were like a month ago. Did Bill Maher pre tape? No shame there.

Sometimes you gotta tape ahead. I understand, Bill Maher, Mar said Jimmy Kimmel’s wife and head writer when public on this topic recently, so I feel it’s fair to comment respectfully in public. She says she’s lost relationships with relatives because she wrote them an email before the election with ten reasons why they shouldn’t vote for Trump. Now, that would have been a great Letterman top ten list. I’m gonna hit pause here.

I’m tempted. I’m gonna ask chat shept to write a harmless top ten list in the Letterman style. Be right back, Okay, I’m back, and this is pretty good. All right, I come in peace. I’ll tell you what I typed in.

Here are the instructions make a harmless nineteen eighty five style slash era Letterman top ten list of the reasons not to vote for Donald Trump. Keep it silly, and then I asked it to get in one particular joke, which you’ll see, Chatchpt playing it safe, chat Chept to hold me. I could do a purely silly, fictional nineteen eighty five Letterman era comedy bit as entertainment only in italics, not real political advice, not actual reasons to vote or not vote. Okay, relax, Chatchapt, it’s a bit. Think of this kind of as the absurdist list.

Dave would read, with Paul chuckling in the background. Yes, that is what we’re doing. Deliverate jokes that have nothing to do with real policies, a real voting guidance. Thanks Ai from the Home Office in Washington, DC. The top ten completely fictional, totally ridiculous, clearly non political reasons not to vote for Donald Trump.

Number ten claims his official presidential votor cade will be upgraded to twelve stretch limos connected like a giant human centipede of catillacts. Number nine wants the national bird replaced, will the really hand pigeon? Number eight keeps calling the nuclear football the nuclear fanny pack. Number seven says he won’t take the oath unless there’s a fog machine at at least one ball the eagle on a skateboard. Number six his proposed cabinet me a mirror, a second mirror, and a guy named Rick who sells stakes out of a van.

Number five wants to rename Mount Rushmore Mount Brushmore and place all the faces with different versions of his hair. Number four says he will accept no briefing materials unless they come in the form of Garfield Comics. Number three thinks NATO is that thing with the singing sharks on Sunday Mornings. Number two keep says, says thing he’s going to make twelve thirty great again, and frankly the network is getting nervous in the number one reason not to vote for Donald Trump his official campaign theme song, You’re the Inspiration, performed entirely on kazoo. I think we might have a new bit coming up.

Yeah, the bit is called completely Revolve Table Levan. I don’t know if that’s a bit seon. Oh I enjoyed doing that anyway, I digress. Where were we? Oh?

Yeah, Bill Maher taking a shot at missus Kimmel, who had her own list of ten reasons not to vote for Trump. That’s how we got into that, Okay, Bill Moore said ten reasons. I could think of one hundred, but I would never present it to someone as an ultimatum. Ultimatums don’t make people rethink their politics. They make them rethink.

You right a top ten list to yourself. We had to try and imagine ten reasons why seventy seven million Americans didn’t want to trust you with taking power. And I say that as someone who votes Democratic, and as I liked to remind my very pure friends, we voted for the same person. You’re just why she lost. Jim Gaffigan got a wax job from Variety.

They asked Jim, Hey, Jim, that’s your sense if humor change over time. Jim said, oh, yeah, it’s definitely evolved. That’s what’s really interesting about having children. The value of a reverence, whether you’re nineteen or twenty one, the excitement around reverence is so much more appealing than nuance. You appreciate nuance later on, when I was in college, I worked as a doorman at a comedy club, and I remember thinking, Oh, these boring comedians.

I like the edgy guy. I would have disliked my own comedy back then. They asked Jim about working relatively clean. Was he always clean? Jim said, Now, I tried on a lot of different hats.

I tried being edgy. There’s footage of me smoking on stage. Whoa, WHOA relaxed there Jim Dice Gaffigan smoking on stage. Who unbelievable? So edgy?

A lot of it’s just trial and error. Eventually you end up being the person who actually are on stage. That’s kind of unavoidable and stand up if you want to embrace authenticity. Some of it is the ten thousand hours and transferring what makes you funny with your friends onto the stage. But the trial and error is being educated on how the audience perceives you.

It’s similar to being a character actor, which I also am, which is code for ugly. You need self awareness. When I’d go on stage at PIPS in nineteen ninety three, the crowded just seeing Andrew Dice Clay and that see me and think I’m John Tesh. I wanted to not be John Tesh, but I eventually had to face the reality that this is what I look like. It’s unfortunate, Jim added.

Comedians get a lot of credit or criticism for the comedy they do, but the reality is they do exactly what they’re kind of allowed to do. I’m a big, lumbering white guy. If I was angry, I don’t think that would be appealing. Lewis Black can be angry, even Bill Burr can be angry. But if I’m angry, it just makes the audience uncomfortable.

If I’m silly and self effacing, that’s palatable to the audience. Ah, We’ll be right back. The Lil Roady Comedy Festival announced their lineup. Pretty good lineup. It shows are in March more, twenty sixth to the twenty ninth, Providence, Rhode Island.

John Mulaney, Chelsea Handler, Jay Farrow, Mark Maren, Andrew Schultz, Bob the Drag Queen and others. That’s a pretty pretty impressive list. Timothy Shalomy said Adam Sandler should have won an Oscar for his performance in the two thousand and two film Punch Drunk Love. I think I tell the story already at my class. Yeah, I did ten days ago.

In my class I mentioned how for repetition and for humor, I always say the great dramatic actor Adam Sandler, and one of my students went him like a seven minute speech. About Adam Sandler. It was like he was doing my bit, except he was like super serious. I mean, I’m serious about it. I do think Adam sandler comedies are terrible, and he’s a pretty good dramatic actor.

But you know, I lean into it for the bit. But this student went on for like seven minutes, and this student was all about punch drunk love. So my student agrees with Timathy s Shella May, who says it’s one of the most important performances. It’s impactful, deeply moving. As a young actor, knowing you for your comedic work Adam Sandler, seeing that thrown against the context of your other work, I’m like, Wow, this is an incredible actor.

I hope I can give a performance like this. I know it’s not about awards, but you should have a golden man in your hand. Man. You’re one of the best actors of all time, exactly, one of the best actors of all time, one of the worst comedians. Actually, possibly the worst comedian.

Now that’s probably somebody worse than him. I’m sure if I sat here and thought about it for a minute, no one immediately comes to mind. But in terms of comedy movies, probably the worst of all time. Hopefully the great dramatic actor Adam Sandler will heed the words of Timothy Shllamey, who knows something about acting and has a very successful career without doing moronic attempts at comedy. And that is your comedy news for today.

I once again bounced a lot of stories. I got plenty for tomorrow and Monday. And you know, usually this is a dead time of year, but I’ve got a lot heading out of Thanksgiving. This is like the easiest it’s been since I started doing the show Plenty to talk about. I’m having a good time.

Appreciate you listening. Seems like you’re having a good time, especially if you’re still here this deep in. Have an awesome day.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack. If your Daily Comedy News, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. And if you skipped yesterday’s episode, I get it. But it was a real episode and this weekend and today are all real episodes, no holiday filler.

So if you want to go back and catch that one, friends, I think John Mulaney’s at the cash in stage. The headline Kraft Mac and Cheese proves it’s the best thing ever in bold new creative platform that’s right, voiced by John Mulaney, Best Thing Ever, reinforces that the brand’s deliciousness, ease, and affordability make it the greatest thing on earth. The press release, which tags two cities, Pittsburgh and Chicago. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a two city press release, but from Pittsburgh and Chicago the news Kraft Mac and Cheese has unveiled a new creative platform, best thing Ever, proving that nothing compares to a bowl of Kraft Mac and Cheese selling one million blue boxes each, proving that Americans eat healthy. If you’re looking at all of us, including the guy recording a podcast’s basement, going why are you people?

Overweight gee, I don’t know. Selling one million blue boxes each day, Kraft Mac and Cheese has uniquely shaped American history and waste sizes present through every healthy stage of life, from an afternoon school snack to an empowering rite of passage on the path through adulthood. The brand’s fan base transcends generations, Anchored by one of the brand’s most significant media investments and voiced by comedian and actor John Mulaney. Tap the brakes, Why because he’s in The Bear? Actor John Mulaney, Hold on, I’m going to IMDb, known for documentary Now as a writer, Spider Man into the Spider Verse voice actor as Spider Ham Chippendale Rescue Rangers.

Previous roles by actor John m’lane include The Bear, Big Mouth, Poker Face, Bupkiss, the voice of Jack Horner in Puss and Boots, Last Wish. He played Henry David Thurreau in two episodes of Dickinson, appeared in two episodes of Crashing where I think he played John Mulaney but I digress, and he appeared as John Mulaney on The Jim Gaffigan Show. Okay Fine. Comedian and actor John Mulaney Now this press release didn’t give us a quote from the comedian and actor John Mulaney, but we are told Kraft Mac and Cheese is turning Black Friday into wait for it, Mac Friday. That’s right.

You can go to Walmart dot com and for just nineteen dollars and thirty seven cents. This is not a commercial. This is me making fun of something. Go to Walmart dot com and you get the mac Friday Box. It’s a flat screen TV sized box filled with sixty five boxes of Kraftmac and Cheese.

So here’s what I think you do. I think you buy one of these and you wrap it and you have it shipped to like one of your friends. You’re like, hey, Scott Beckett, Merry Christmas. Your pal Johnny Mack. It sits there under his tree for a month.

He’s like, wow, Johnny Mack, he used the football pool money and he bought me a big screen TV. He’s really awesome.

And then on Christmas, Scott Peckett gets up early and he waits and he saves …

Merry Christmas. Scott. He’s not just selling alcohol free beer, He’s selling mac and cheese. You know who else likes to sell your product is the really cool guy Jim Gaffigan. He shared his bourbon set on YouTube and shared a minute of it on social media.

Let’s listen. I love the esthetic inside of a liquor store. It’s almost if some interior designer was like. What if the whole store looked like the back room. We want people to feel like they’re in an episode of Hoarders.

There’s a silence you only find in liquor stores. You ever notice that people walk around all serious, like they’re in an art gallery. Interesting, Maybe this will make the pain go away. Liquor stores have their own vibe, right, There’s a tidly divorce dad energy. A stack of boxes suddenly becomes a shelf.

It’s not dirty, but it’s certainly not clean. Things are handwritten, crossed out. You feel like you’ve stumbled upon a garage sale and a bus station. Now. I didn’t comment in advance because I didn’t want to poison your braid.

But here’s what I want you to do. I want you to listen to what I have to say and then hit thirty second, not skip, but whatever, back thirty second, back twice, maybe three times. At this point, I want you to listen to again. Here’s my question too, is Jim Gaffigan just getting by on goodwill? He is?

Listen to it again. It’s not that funny, says the guy recording a podcast in his basement. But at least I would call you back if you helped my career jump. On YouTube, you can watch live from Old Forrester the Bourbon Set. Jim shot the special at the Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts in Louisville, Kentucky.

Curious how many of your tax dollars went to this? With oak barrels lining the stage? Now, I timed ins at Google the phrase the Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts in Louisville, Ky. Funding. The AI overview, which could be incorrect, says the Kentucky Performing Arts Center is funded by a mix of public and private sources, including the Commonwealth of Kentucky, private foundations, corporate partnerships, and individual donors.

Meg of that what you will, but that is where Jim Gaffigan shot the bourbon themed Bourbon set, which you can find on YouTube and just listen to The Bourbon Set was inspired by Jim’s deep dive into the bourbon world the launch of his own small batch bourbon called father Time, which is now being promoted by a comedy set, which was recorded at the Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts in Louisville, Kentucky, which AI says is funded by a mix of public and private sources, including the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Jim said, with line from Old Forrester or the Bourbon Set, I let my love of bourbon lead the way at this point. I’m not sure if bourbon is a passion or a midlife crisis, but I love it. I can answer for you if you want. Since this was such a niche endeavor, I didn’t even go to a big streamer.

I just wanted to get this material out there for the other bourbon geeks. Wow. I just checked the clock. We’re pretty deep in. I’m still on story number two, all right.

I watched some specials. I know Johnny Mack, who hosts a podcast called Daily Compedy. Doos actually watch comedy specials? Gee? Thanks, host, I know I’m the worst.

You know how much sports there’s been Monday night football. There is a night football Saturday Night college football, Sunday Football, Sunday Night football. I try to go to Trivia Night on Wednesday. That leaves Tuesday and Friday to watch stuff. So last Friday I watched stuff.

I put on Sebastian Maniscalco’s Hularius Special. At one minute and fifty four, I muttered to myself, it wasn’t doing a bit. It was just me home alone, and I’m watching it and it gets to the one minute fifty four mark and I catch myself saying out loud, Holy f word. It was that bad. I made it until five minutes and twelve seconds in.

And here’s my question. This is not a bit, this is a real question. Is Sebastian Maniscalco at this point just doing a character that he internally calls old man Clay. Watch it again and tell me he’s not just doing old man Dice because he’s doing old Man Dice. I don’t know if he realizes he’s doing old Man Dice, but he’s doing old man Dice.

Pass on that one. Here’s the one you should watch, mo Ammer Netflix. It’s called Wild World. I like when a comedian has something to say. MO has something to say, won’t spoil it.

Very funny, very on point, even that a poor man’s Carlan heading towards the closer there, which I thought was really interesting. And I assume he knows he was doing poor Man’s Carlan. If I ever get to interview him, I will ask him about that. But I recommend on Mo Ammer’s Wild World on Netflix. Another one that I liked as I was just pilencing around the streamers, Matt McCusker’s Netflix special, A humble offering.

I went into it with low expectations. I don’t know why, and I was like, oh, this is pretty funny. Now. The sound is a little homebrew. I think we need to up the production values a little bit, but humor wise, pretty good.

Gonna make my end of the year list. He’s a bit of a poor man’s Shane Gillis, which makes sense because of the podcast. But like that one a lot. I checked out Kathleen Madigan Special on Amazon. It’s fine.

It’s Kathleen Madigan doing Kathleen Madigan things. Same note on Leanne Morgan Special, which is on Netflix. It’s fine. It’s not for me, but it’s fine. I remember I told you last week.

On Amazon, there was one that I was like, this is terrible. I don’t believe a word that the comedian is saying. I remember what it was because Amazon put it in front of me again. It was Joe List small ball. I just didn’t believe a word out of his mouth is true.

And I understand what stand up comedy is. I get it. But I loved Most Special because he has something to say and it’s based in truth, and I just felt like Joe was shocking jokes. Again, I get what comedy is not for me. I did not yet get to Kevin Hart’s acting My Age, which came out on Netflix on a week where Hey, guys, football football Friday, NFL Today, college football, more football Wednesday night, was one of the big go out nights of the year.

What do you think I’m watching these things? I mean, I guess they think people are off of four days. Maybe they have time. Anyway, Johnny Mack didn’t get to it yet. The folks at Steady Cut watched it.

They said, Kevin Hart delivers vintage material, toning down theatrics and settling back into his comfort zone with the benefit of maturity. That sounds refreshing because if you watch the football games. Every I was gonna say, every other commercial. I’m pretty sure it’s every commercial. Is Kevin Hart trying to get you to bet on sports, to have the brakes?

Okay, we got it. Kevin heard you the first seven underd times. Ready steady cut, Johnny Mack is feisty today, Ready steady cut said. Any comedian who was a sufficiently lengthy career and a certain amount of success is going to go through ups and downs. Here’s how you know you’re on a down.

Your specials on Hulu. That’s how you know. Just just everybody write that down. Kevin Hart has had them in real time. You can generally chart each stage in his career through his specials.

Has he had a Hula special? He has not yet. Any comedian it was a sufficially a lengthy career and a certain amount of success, et cetera, et cetera. You can generally chart each stage in Kevin’s career through his specials. The Hollywood theatrically of his arena shows the ill fitting Chappelle light diet tribe of his COVID special.

Heart has always had a well defined comedy persona full of exaggerated physical details, expressions, and voices, but he’s been susceptible to chasing the moment a little instead of defining it himself. Wow, good criticism there ready. Steady Cuts says, this is not true of acting my age, which is about you guessed it, getting older and becoming more comfortable than ever with his reality. They say it’s not a complete reinvention for heart, but it’s a returned to vintage form. All right, I’m looking forward to that one.

Boy. We are long here and I’m enough to cut things. I’m telling you, I got a plenty for the weekend. Let me get this one in. Donald Glover, do you see this?

He said he had a stroke. He was experiencing symptoms before his New Orleans show in September twenty twenty four. Donald Glover said, I had a really bad pain in my head in Louisiana, and he did the show anyway. I couldn’t see someone. He went to Houston.

I went to the hospital. The doctor was like, you had a stroke. Donald Glover said. The first thought upon hearing that was, oh, here, I am still copying Jamie. Fox comedy stock Markets.

Thank you, Bert Reynolds. In the comedy stock market, much like the real stock market, is a half day today. All right, my recommendations, Let’s buy some Robbie Hoffman. Why Johnny Mack, Because when I saw Malany was producing her special, I dusted off my knowledge of for Robbie Hoffman. I was like, Oh, Robbie Hoffman’s really good.

So let’s buy low on Robbie and we are gonna make out like Bannetts. The opposite here, I think is let’s sell some Sarah Sherman. No, Johnny Mack loves Sarah Sherman, but the premise of comedy stock market is not who’s good who’s bad, It’s where is the value? And I think regular America who knows Sarah from SNL is going to watch this Sarah Sherman Sarah Squirm special on HBO next weekend. We’re two weeks from now, and be like, what is even happening?

So let’s sell Sarah. Let’s sell all our patent. Oswald, he’s out destroying Star Trek, he’s getting very political. Let’s go to upset people. You know you can’t do that, Patton Oswalt.

I appreciate it, but you’re gonna lose wils. We’ll sell patent on a value standpoint. We’re also gonna sell Eddie Murphy at Peak. I think that documentary. Initially people like, oh this is great, And now I’m starting to see the reviews of like, hey, yeah, kind of glossed over some stuff there, Eddie.

So let’s sell Eddie Murphy at peak. Let’s buy Moe Emmer. America is not paying enough attention to this guy. Let’s buy some Shane Gillis. Here’s why I feel like he’s right there.

I don’t know what the thing is going to be, but he’s right there. He’s next to Last week we were talking about who’s the top comedian? Right now, Shane is right there. There’s gonna be something. He’s gonna drop, a special or something.

Let’s just start accumulating some Shane Gillis, And you know, we want to get out high before the values crash. Let’s sell John Mulaney. He’s cashing in, I’m cashing out. Good line and Jim Gaffigan, same thing every time Jim speaks. Now, I just feel the coolness rushing out of the room, as if like you opened a door on an airplane and everything’s going wow out.

It’s just it’s all leaving, all right. So pretty busy for a half day on the comedy stock Market by Robbie Hoffman, by Shane and Gillis. Buy, Moe Ammer, sell, Sarah Sherman sell, Patton Oswalt sell, Eddie Murphy sell, John Malaney sell Jim Gaffigan. That’s your comedy stock Market on a Black Friday. I’ve bounced like ten stories, so come back tomorrow.

I’ve got plenty. I’ll leave you with this one. Adam Sandler says he feels guilty doing stand up comedy in front of his daughters. Yeah, dude, why would anyone have their children watch Adam Sandler comedy. I’ve made it a point.

You’ve heard me tell the stories. I forbid my family from watching Adam Sandler comedy. It’s that bad. I can’t believe Adam Sandler would do that to his own daughters. He seems like he loves his daughters.

Why would you make these poor teenage girls watch Adam Sandler comedy? Adam Adam told Jimmy Kimmel, I’m very filthy. You know. I curse a lot be doing that my whole life. I feel guilty because I shouldn’t have done it, but I do, and I continue to do it.

The Great dramatic actor said, it was my daughter’s birthday. They came to Vegas to see me right away. I said, see, I’m even gonna clean it up. Gosh during it. They’re in Vegas, can we bring our friends it will celebrate at one of your shows.

And he thought, I can’t be myself a curse in front of them. Sandler says he has previously noticed the shame in their eyes after they witnessed him cursing on stage. Are you sure? I mean, I’m sure they like the millionaire lifestyle, but maybe they’re like, oh, that’s how dad makes money. I wonder if they’ve seen your movie.

Well, they’ve seen your movies because they’re in your movies, so they’ve seen them. So they’re guilty too. I no longer feel bad for the daughters. You’re part of the problem. Daughters.

Sandler said, that’s a fake guy. That’s a stand up comedian guy. You get the real daddy at home. Sandlor told Kimmel, I’m on stage knowing my daughters and their friends are in the crowd. I’m changing everything up.

It’s Vegas. Everyone’s expecting filth, and I’m not giving them filth. For like an hour and forty five minutes he gets off stage. Sandlor says his wife told him, Oh, they left five minutes into it. They wanted the fun with their friends.

I think they went and had desert or something. That’s comedy news for today, See tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media heavy Thanksgiving. I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Jonathan Kite has been doing these impressions of Anthony Bourdaine. He posted them on threads at Jonathan Kite. He goes to actual locations, he dresses up like Boardane.

He does a great Boordaine impression. He’s got the body type to pull it off too. I was watching this one that I’m about to play for you, and I was like, even if I did a great Boardine, I don’t have the right body type at all. I could never pull off toll and Lean. But Jonathan Kite has this thing down.

I’m gonna go a little longer with this one than I normally do because it is Thanksgiving themed, and you know Kite’s putting He’s up on social media, so I don’t think he’s really trying to monetize them. I come in peace, really like your work. But here’s Jonathan Kite as Anthony Bourdain. Welcome to America’s Endless Harvest and the Feast of all you can eat Golden Corral, where Pilgrim’s progress meets the Age of consumption. Because here Thanksgiving isn’t a holiday.

It’s a lifestyle, a face style. So buckle up, throw on your stretchy pants. This is manifest destiny. It’s the United Plates of America, and at sixteen ninety nine ahead you get liberal portions at conservative prices. As is tradition, we begin with the bird, our annual sacrifice.

The golden butter soap turkey glistens under heat lamps that could tan a corpse, and like Travis Kelcey’s dating history, you can enjoy both white and dark meat. The first Thanksgiving was a fragile truce between worlds to survive the Hunger Games of sixteen twenty one. Today we gather with loved ones just trying to survive each other. Left wing, right wing. It’s all the same bird.

Absolutely fantastic. Jonathan Kite is his name, Give him a follow. Sebastian Manuscalco, he spoke with us weekly. He had a cooking show, remember that it was called Well Done with Sebastian manusuks Alco on Food Network.

And now in hindsight, I’m realizing I didn’t make nearly as much fun of that …

I should almost go back. If we ever have another pandemic and I need a bit like George Lopez Tacos. Maybe I’ll just critique well done with Sebastian Manascalco on Food Network. But hopefully we won’t have another pandemic and I won’t have to do that. But as you know, it’s this is a food story and it’s Thanksgiving.

I do put these shows together. A Sebastian said, I became passionate about cooking around the time I met my wife. I like cooking because it’s similar to comedy and that you’re doing it alone and making stupid faces for no reason. If it sucks, it’s your fault. If it’s great, it’s your fault.

Same thing with stand up. It’s very therapeutic for me to go into the kitchen and get lost in the sauce. I do a beautiful French toast. The next thing I want to master is pizza. Switching to comedy.

You have to live in everyday life to extract humor, and that’s why I’m an active parent. I drop my kids off at school, I go to the soccer games. I’m taking my kid to gymnastics. You find a lot of humor in those things. You do have to be cautious about talking about some of the fancy things you do.

I went to the Oscars, but my Oscar story is not one of fame and fortune. It’s me sitting up at the third balcony while everybody from Greenbrook is accepting the Oscar. When I was announced on the red carpet, it was a bathroom break for the photographers. They were cleaning their lenses. Ryan Seacrest was there with his camera guy in lights on a pedestal, and they take me all the way down to the guy who’s a one man shop with his iPhone and is from the Ecuador Times.

So four dot com spoke to Fortune Femmester about taking care of Biscuits. That’s the name of her tour. She said it came to me as something that lets people know they’re in for a good, silly time. She said, Now, at all the cities I go to, people are dropping biscuits off, and I’m grateful, but I’m like, oh, I’m gonna have to name my next tour taking care of Salads, because it’s a lot of biscuits right now. One Instagram video showed Fortune in her green room.

The room was filled with biscuits from heart Ease Biscuit shaped pillows custom merch. She said that was all a surprise. My writer is so boring. I literally asked for water, ice and a cup. I used to have big, extravagant green rooms, but then I was never hungry, and I felt like I was being super wasteful because normally I either eat before or after.

The show asked for her biscuit preferences. Her favorites are a loaded, savory, yummy biscuit with fried chicken, pimento cheese, and a little honey, or just the opposite, just a jelly biscuit. I’m trash, so I love grape jelly. If Fortune Feamster could only eat one thing twenty four seven three sixty five, it would be pad thaie. She says, I went to Thailand and ate pad tie for a week and a half straight and did not get tired of it.

I love it so much, I think I could do it. I could just eating it forever. I usually get it with chicken, but if I were gonna eat it every day, I’d try to switch it up, try some shrimp or tofu or bounce back and forth. All right, Fortune was the first thing you learned how to cook grilled cheese. But I learned by doing it wrong.

I was babysitting and the kid won a grilled cheese to turn the oven on. And he was like, why are you turning the oven on? And I said, I don’t know baking it. He told me just throw in a pan or the toaster oven. It was too much for me.

You don’t need to go throw that for a grilled cheese. But he was right. I was pretty old to learn that. Like sixteen more food stories from Fortune. It’s Thanksgiving, you know, she said.

Grilling is brand new for me. I never had a grill until I got this house, and it came with a grill, and I was determined to learn how to use it. Getting beef to the right temperature is the trickiest part. You don’t want it to be too rare or red or too cooked and dry. I’m learning the happy medium there.

And there’s an editor’s note pun intended. Fortune told Savor I’m a dessert gal. I have such a sweet tooth. I’m near a cheesecake factory. I will hit up that Adam’s peanut buttercup fudge rippled cheesecake.

That’s a real treat. Any foods from your childhood that you liked Grandma’s chicken and dumplings, so comforting and classic. Biggest flex to impress guests. Fortune said, I love some good scented candles. They’re inviting warm then all you eat is good food.

I don’t have a signature scent yet, but I love holiday candles all the time, so we’re getting closed to the holidays. I’m pumped because the ones that I love smell like Christmas trees. Jim Gaffigan spoke to The Today Show. They were curious how Jim’s wife and kids feel about being in his comedy. Jim joked, I don’t care.

Then he got a little more serious and said, the good news is that my children all the things I say, I don’t have to feel guilty because they have no interest in my comedy. I’m more concerned about accidentally posting a photo where they appear in it on Instagram than me saying something in my stand up. Obviously, I try to be respectful, and I think anyone who’s apparent is aware. We’ve all made mistakes. But parenting is you try your best and then as a parent, become their septacle for all the blame.

Kathleen Madigan spoke to the La Times about her family and the stuff they bring over. She’s proud of the chicken salad or stuff they bring over like tunicast roles, and they’re very into hardy grandma type food, meaning fattening, which I’m all in on. She talked about a Midwestern sensibility and said everybody’s got their little things, like I would have a big fight about their corn being better than anyone else’s stupid stuff. But to us, it’s what’s happening. It’s what we’re talking about sports.

Everybody’s got their thing with the packers and that kind of stuff, but it’s not anything we were given, like the ocean, the mounts of Colorado. Don’t know, we don’t have that either. That’s why when people say, oh, do you like where you’re from, or always like, yeah, it’s fine. We know it’s not great, but it’s not horrible. It’s fine.

I love when people say Saint Louis is that kind of by Chicago, well kind of four and a half hours down the road to find kind of pie. That’s what I say about my coastal friends. It’s what they’ve been given. I mean, someone made it all the way out there, so I give those people credit, but the Midwest is like, you’re gonna get bored driving around Kansas, Nebraska. At least in Missouri.

When you get south of Saint Louis, we start to get big ills. We called them out, and it’s a hill. We have good lakes. Coastal people don’t like lakes because so like, yeah, that water is a little still. I’m like, yeah, and there’s snakes in it too.

She is hilarious, all right. No amount of food stories. Uh. Stephen Colbiert had spoken to GQ. This one is a bit of a leftover in the spirit of Thanksgiving.

They were curious, does he think the late night format makes sense anymore? Do you think the times for these shows has passed? Have you ever felt that while doing your show, Stephen Colbert, He said, no, not doing the show. I do the show with gratitude. We have a really great time.

We love doing the show with each other. We love all pulling on the same rope. I love being there with those four hundred fifty people and the Ed Sullivan Theater, in a Broadway theater. We’ve done our best to deliver something that the network can monetize in some way. I thought we were successful at that, so all things must pass.

I think if there’s a business reason for this. I know there’s been a change in ad rates since the strike, and I know that’s really never recovered for that, so all that makes sense to me. And I also know that these late night shows are kind of like symphony orchestras. They need a certain amount of personnel to do them. You can’t relate to a show and the Ed Sullivan Theatre eleven thirty five on CBS with a band and sketches and field shooths and stuff like that for the cost of a podcast.

And if you look and say, oh, well look, this is what a podcast makes, and this is what these shows make, then you’re keeping these shows on because you’ll love the form. Why would shows like mine continue and exist or Kimmel or Jimmy or whatever. Well, we’re like your friend who at the end of the day paid attention to what happened today more than you did, and we curate that back to you at the end of the day. But it’s really more about how we feel about or I as the person who’s the vehicle for that, how we felt about it today. Boy, that speaks to me as someone who does this show, Like, presumably at some level you just kind of enjoy my voice and vibe, right, Like, I don’t think you’re like this is the only place I can get comedy news.

But you know, we have this relationship, you and I. You listener, me host, and yeah, I feel what’s Stephen selling here? He says. I share those feelings with the audience, and they laugh or they don’t laugh, and there’s a sense of community there. Quick time out, it’s a holiday, We’ve got time.

I was teaching my class one week ago today, and I was teaching the college class about the concept of tribes and building community around shows. And I started to explain to the class how I almost always refer to one comedian as dramatic actor Adam Sandler. You’re in on the bit, I’m in on the bit, and always saying dramatic actor Adam Sandler reinforces the thought there with me as the leader lowercase L of this tribe of comedy fans who have gathered around this podcast and in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group, please join us anyway. One of the students starts agreeing with me and goes on for like seven minutes about Adam Sandler is good in punch, drunk Glove and in uncut gems. And I just stood there mugging for the camera, making eye contact with students, and just gesturing over at the student who just kept going on and on proving my point of the power of the tribe and of the community.

And I high five the student. I was like, you just proved my point. So I get what Colbert is selling here. He says, there’s a sense of community and there are fewer, fewer. I don’t know who coined this term, but there are fewer and few of what you would call third spaces in our life.

Have you heard this term three spaces? This is John talking. My daughter taught me about the sea off home, work, and then somewhere else you go. For me, it’s the brewery on trivia night, where I see my friends every now and then. I’m tired.

A couple weeks ago, the night we want Actually, I was kind of tired and I said to my wife, I go, I have to show up or I won’t have friends anymore. I need to be with the guys. So that’s my third space. Colbert says, we need third spaces in our life, not your home, not your work, but some other place we get together, and these late night shows are for millions of Americans a third space to come together and think about the day. Switching to politics, Colbert said, people perceive me as the sort of lefty figure.

I think I’m more conservative than people think. I just happened to be talking about a government and extremists. What I’m giving to you is my reaction video to the day, and my reaction video is like the scream. So that makes me perceived as more left necessarily than I am, because I’m not sure what other reaction would be a an honest one. I was having a side text with a friend of the show who appreciated that he’s not entirely sure which side of the aisle I’m on.

Again, this is not a political show. I’m not sure what you think. I’m not even sure what I’m telegraphing might actually be accurate. Again, and I’m not playing a role. But like I like to say, the President and I don’t agree on all the issues we agree on twelve thirty, we don’t agree on other things.

With previous presidents. I agreed on some things, didn’t agree on other things with the next president. I’ll agree on some things, I won’t agree on some things. I think that’s how most people are, right, Colbert said, we broadcast to a general audience. There’s no entrance fee, there’s no subscription.

You don’t have to look for us except on Channel five or wherever you are. And we have a variety of different guests. It’s a variety show. It is Thanksgiving, and I hope you’re all having a nice Thanksgiving. I do want to give a shout out to one particular member of the audience.

That’s Mike Chisholm. He hosts The Letterman Podcast, and I don’t know if you know this. He’s Canadian. So hey, Mike, hope you enjoyed October twelfth, or whenever Canadian Thanksgiving was. I assume you have to work today.

Sucks to be you. The rest of us Turkey and football enjoy my friend. Love you. A new episode of The Letterman Podcast tomorrow, probably, I don’t know. I don’t know if Mike’s skipping week.

He usually puts out an episode on Friday. If not, you haven’t listened to them all. Listen to on an old one. He’s got this guy Johnny that goes on there every now and then anyway, Mike good Joy work today, I’ll be getting even fatter. Lauren Michaels has donated his five hundred box archive to the Harry Ransom Center at the University of Texas at Austin.

The exhibit is called Live from New York, The Lurne Michael’s Collection. It is stuff going all the way back to nineteen seventy five, boasters, newspaper clippings, photos, Lauren’s work with Lily Tomlin, Phyllis Diller and Rowan, and Martin’s laugh in his other stuff Three Amigos, Mean Girls, thirty Rock Portlandia, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, and Late Night with Seth Myers. You can walk past that exhibit and be like, Kah, this isn’t interesting at all, and just keep going. There are posters, annotated scripts, Make twelve thirty Great Again, costumes, production materials, and newspaper clippings from these projects. Guest curator Steve Wilson’s exhibit labels provide excellent in depth guides the entire exhibit.

Various network memos on display reveal the inevitable behind the scenes battles of musical tastes. Network execs like the classic rock. The youngsters like some different kinds of music.

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Also, apparently some memos discussing the departures of Norm MacDonald and t…

Before email, the show regularly got mail, fan letters, complaints, sketching job pitches, scribbling on everything from scratchbats to toilet papers. There’s a nineteen seventy eight letter from one of the writers describing the frustration of having to respond to the relentless barrage of unsolicited comedy materials. She wrote, no matter how funny you think it is, we cannot read, evaluate, or use any of your stuff. We never use outside material, and we’re not looking for any new writers at this time. Really cross my heart and hope to die, which I may do soon if I have to write any more letters like this one.

And that is your Thanksgiving comedy news for the day, normal episodes all weekend. I got plenty even from this show. I bumped four stories. It’s not one of those weeks where I’m like, oh, what am I going to talk about? I got plenty.

Enjoy your Turkey, Mike, enjoy work. See tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Normal episodes through the holiday, including tomorrow. I have got a great piece from Jonathan Kite for you tomorrow. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Maga comedian Shane Gillis.

I don’t know why the headlines call him maga comedian, but Mega comedian Shane Gillis thinks President Donald Trump is approaching quote Biden brain territory. There was a conversation on Matt and Shane’s Secret podcast. Matt asked, Shane, you think he’s getting dementia. Shane responded, I mean, I don’t know. He just seems a little slower than usual.

McCusker said their speculation that tea dog might be rocking Biden brains. Gillis said he’s definitely not at Biden brains yet, but he’s circling the dream. Shane also felt the quiet Piggy line was effing crazy. It’s pretty wild. I just can’t think of how embarrassed that lady must have been.

Friend of the show, Jason Zeniman, he writes for The New York Times, he went to see Louis c. K under the headline a meditative Louis c. K take the stage. Don’t call it a comeback. Louis C.K.

Plays concerts all over the world, from the Riod Comedy Festival to the Beacon Theater in Manhattan. We’re told c K said you can live a great life, but you’re still alive after that part. Apparently a big chunk of this set is about aging getting older. Jason writes, what’s faded in the memory is that Louis was once treated like a secular saint. The word genius was frequently thrown around.

Critics bent over backward to interpret his sick jokes as the work of a progressive philosopher King This was always a stretch. Louis C.K. Has always been far more committed to exploring discomforting thoughts and forbidden territory than in advocating any position he still is. The anxiety and fluster that powered so much of his work has been replaced by a disarming equanimity when he evokes the darkest subjects. The biggest twist might be that he rarely approaches any with anger.

Jason adds what has most diminished as Louis ci K’s social commenter, his new hour is almost aggressively anti topical what has replaced it is a bit surprising. C K is now fixated on faith, mentioning religion in every special post cancelation, even breaking out a Bible in one bit. It might seem like an odd shift since he remains a committed non believer. Jason end’s with here Louis C.K. Showed us the upside of living a long time.

It meant that he could not only develop his craft, but also the confidence of taking a risk and pulling it off. Lengthy piece in the New York Times, and you should always read Jason’s inman pieces. Sebastian Maniscalco told Good Morning America that SNL asked him to be part of the Marcelo Hernandez sketch. Sebastian explained, I couldn’t because I was doing a show in Palm Springs. I’d love to host SNL.

If people out there are listening, I’d like to do SNL. If Lauren’s watching, I could see him hosting SNL. That seems pretty close to a no brainer. Maybe you have Marsello bust that impression out one more time.

And then he asked Sebastian a host in the spring sometime.

That’s not crazy talk. Maniscalco likes the impression. Listen, it’s very flattering that he did that. I thought he did a great job. Obviously, you know it was really over the top.

Was it. I’m not sure you’ve seen your own trailer. Obviously, you know was really over the top, which made it funnier. Cam Batterson, who’s going to wind up doing one year of SNL SIS Johnny Mack has wisely scheduled a comedy to our forty four dates around the country January through June, during weeks off from SNL, and then after June he’ll probably have lots and lots of weeks off from SNL, just saying do you watch the show? I do?

What? Has? He had? Four lines? Cam Patterson will visit sixteen cities, offering three night stints in most cities.

Kevin Hart dropped a special on Netflix. He also went on the Diary of a CEO podcast, a lengthy interview. I haven’t listened to it yet, but I did read the transcript. Kevin Hart said, I’m a very driven individual, and I’m driven off ideation. I like the fact that they can have thoughts and if you’re in love with the thoughts that you’re having, you can be energized to bring those thoughts into a bigger reality.

That’s the real fuel to the brain for me. I mean, there’s no success without failure. They go hand in hand, and with the failure comes amazing lessons, adjustments, and he gets sharper because of the stuff you’ve done wrong or you didn’t know it to approach a certain way that now you know how to approach. So I embrace the concept of failure just as much as I embrace the win of success. I feel like I’m doing a service of good.

If I can make people feel better, if I can brighten up your day, it’s a service of good. It means I’m like a shepherd of some sort. I’m responsible for making people feel better. Robbie Hoffman has a premier date for her Netflix special. It’s called Wake Up.

It is notably directed by John Mulaney. Mail a lot of attention to Robbie Hoffman when this got announced and I was putting together the show I host on Live One, which is called the Weekly Comedy Thing. It’s like this except a lot less me. But I can also play stand up clips. So if I were telling you the story, I would play a clip by Robbie Hoffman here on this show.

I really can’t do that, but I dusted off my own knowledge of Robbie Hoffman. I was like, oh yeah, all right, okay, so that’s a hint for this week’s comedy stock Market, get on the Robbie Hoffman trade, I’m telling you. John Mulaney apparently agrees. He’s directing Wake Up, which will be on Netflix December fourteenth. Now a sidebar here.

Everybody’s putting out the specials too late. I’m working with a publicist who’s gonna share my list of the top specials, and my homework’s due December thirteenth, So there’s like this one. It’s a Gora Gervais. They’re all coming out too late. Come on, people, Johnny Maxx Top twenty five of the first eleven and a half months.

Robbie Hoffman taped the special at the Masonic Lodge back in October. In a statement, John mlaney said, Robie Hoffman makes me laugh until I’m delirious. No one has owned a stage like her since James Brown. I’m extremely proud to be part of her Netflix debut, but moreover, extremely lucky that I got to spend so much time with this brilliant lunatic. Patton Oswalds had some opinions on the intersection of politics and comedy, and you know that notable politician dude, I’ll let bat and explain it.

Johnny mackbot here, john forgot to credit CNN. I think that’s I mean, you know, not to get too inflated, but comedy is clearly crucial because there’s so much attention being put on it. It clearly means something to people, and it clearly can help. I don’t think comedy can topple a dictator, but it can definitely kind of make things safer for the people that are trying to topple the dictator and kind of help focus public opinions. So yeah, it is.

I mean, it really says something. When the when the Nazis annexed Vienna, the first people they went after were the cabaret performers, you know, the all of the all the all the cafe, the simplicitous performers. They wanted those guys quiet first, because they don’t. Want them They they don’t like being made fun of. Because also when you when you embrace authoritarians, authoritarianism, part of that is I’m I reject the chaos and the uncertainty of the world, which a comedian can actually embrace and go, Yeah, things are nuts and I can help us do it.

And they want no. I don’t want any surprises. I don’t want to wrong. I want everything to be fine. So when they that’s the first thing they got to get rid of, you know, because it is very to quote the show and or an authoritarian authoritarian regime is very, very fragile.

Daryl Hammond spoke to e W about his portrayal of the Lads. Dick Cheney. Arrel said, I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Vice President’s mansion a couple of times to meet the family. I think I had six occasions that I spent a few minutes with him. On one occasion, I went to the Greenbrier Hotel in the basement.

You know, that’s the place they were going to ride out World War three, that bunker. You ever watched those documentaries, Look up Greenbrier. It’s pretty interesting. He had all his Republican colleagues there and I dressed up as Bill Clinton and insulted them all. That was his idea.

So there’s Darryl Hammond who’s dressed up as Bill Clinton, and he says, I’m attempting to shake Cheney’s hand and he’s shrinking in revulsion. Like I said, the guy had a sense of humor. And while we’re being somewhat political, Tignazarro has opened up about the end of her friendship with Cheryl Hines over the politics of Cheryl’s husband, Robert F. Kennedy Junior. On tig Nataro’s Handsome podcast, she told her co hosts, I didn’t sever the friendship, but I did notice that once he was running for president.

Once I stepped away from her old podcast, I never heard from her again. Out on the eight hundred Bound Gorilla Today or Styla’s Green.

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Meanwhile, on The Great British Bake Off, the cast of Peep Show will reunite …

I wasn’t prepping the comedy show. I was prepping The Palace Intrigue, which I’m the writer for, where we talk about the royal family palace in wherever you get your podcasts, Yeah, Sophie Winkelman, or to you, Lady Frederick windsor or to me big Sus from peep Show. I’m not a British subject. I don’t care anyway. All of those folks will take part in this year’s festive episode of The Great British Bakeoff.

It’s their first on screen appearance since the sitcom ended in twenty fifteen, notably absent Robert Webb, who co starred the series with David Mitchell. No air day yet. Peep Show, if you’ve never watched it. My daughter actually stumbled across it and hit me up on the side, was like, have you ever seen peep Show? And I was like, are you kidding me?

I think it’s on Hulu right now, she said, And let me get out my just watch tea now about just watch? Just watch app is great? Hold on? Oh wait, I almost accidentally supported fascism. I mean, yes, it’s on Hulu, but you know, don’t do that.

Buy some DVDs and watch it that way. Don’t just push that green Hulu button on your Rokuo remote and be like it’s Thanksgiving weekend, Johnny Max s d this show’s good. I’m gonna watch Peep Show on Hulu. No no, no, no no, you get yourself some DVDs. Hey, look I just clicked on something.

Amazon will sell you episode in standard death for ninety nine cents. That’s how you prove you’re not a fascist. You spend a dollar for one episode of standard definition instead of just pushing that green button on your Roku remote. And I’m gonna leave you with this. I can’t even do the bit today about jay Leno because look, he’s so genuine with this.

I know you all hate him because he has an opinion about late night television. What does he know? I really can’t do the bit today. He was on the Today Show. He was talking about Mavis, his wife hes dementia.

Jaye talked about making Mavis laugh and he told a joke. Obviously jay Leno would tell a joke better than I would, but the joke reads last night. I said to her. A guy goes to the doctor. The doctor says, what’s the matter?

Guy says, when I press here, it hurts. When I press on my shoulder, it hurts. When I press my knee cap, it hurts. When I press my ripcage, it hurts. The doc goes, you’ve got a broken finger.

That got a laugh out of Mavis, and Jay said, if I was a doctor, I’d say the patient’s doing well. Put it that way. Jay says he always brings up old and fond memories to Mavis. He says, when I’m carrying her to the bathroom, I call her Jay and Mavis to the prom in high school rocker back and forth, and she thinks that’s funny. Hod of the host was curious how Mavis shows Jay that she loves him.

Jay said, well, by saying it, I could see it in the smile. I could tell when she’s happy. So that’s really it. And as someone who is doing show business, I go home and I get an audience reaction every night. I please the person I’m entertaining when she looks at me and smiles and says she loves me, I melt.

Jay shared that Mavis used to love traveling and he figured out a way to explore with her. Jay said, you reach this point in your life where she loves to travel, and I’m so sad she can’t do those things. But there’s so much stuff on YouTube, the travel stuff, and we watch those things and the animal shows real big with the flash cards. Not flash cards, but see this picture. See this picture.

She says, who’s that? That’s President Obama And she says, no, I never met him. Yeah, honey, you did. We had dinner with him at his house, the White House, and then we laugh. Jay said, is he takes his vows seriously?

Clearly does quoting Jay. Now she really needs me and I like that, and I could tell she appreciates it. The idea that you get married, you take these vows. Nobody ever thinks you’d be called upon them to act on them. That part for better or worse, but even the worst isn’t bad.

Enjoy her company. If I’m working on a car, she’d sit over there with a book and read. It was just very well, still is very comfortable. Before she had this, I’d go home after the tonight’s show, cooked dinner and watch TV. The only difference is now you can’t really talk about a lot of those things.

That guy’s the worst. Right, normal episode tomorrow, Happy Thanksgiving. I’ll see there

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. The reminder normal episodes all the way through and including Thanksgiving. I’ve got plenty Hey, awesome news, Sarah Sherman. We’ve got a date for her upcoming special. It will be on HBO.

It is called Sarah Squirm Live Plus in the Flesh. It will be on HBO Friday, December twelfth at nine East and West. Now, that’s interesting to me that it’s a Friday one. In the past, the big specials went on Saturday and other specials went on Friday. Not sure why she doesn’t get the Saturday spot.

Doesn’t really matter. In Live Plus in the Flesh, Sarah Sherman rips off the straight jacket after four seasons counting on snl unleashing a festering and hilarious hour of bodily fluids, open wound confessionals and jokes that will leave scares on your soul. There is a trailer, but I just can’t play it. It’s either a lot of music, a lot of faces, or a lot of naughtiness. Ol Hammond reacted to the President of the United States praising Darryl Hammond on social media.

Darryl Hammond told e W that was tough. No, no, no, he wasn’t upset that the President liked his impression. He was saying it was tough. When Alec Baldwin took over as Donald Trump on SNL, Daryl said he didn’t like the transition at the time. I know Lauren Michaels is a tough guy, but he’s not cruel.

Darryl told the EW that at the time he accepted Lauren’s creative business decision to end Daryl’s run as Trump on the show. Hammond explains, I don’t think he would have done that unless he felt like he had to. At the time, social media was emerging, YouTube was happening. There was a need to go viral every week. He made that creative decision.

Had it paid off? No, I didn’t like it, but it’s the NFL man Saturday Night Live. For all this frivolity and hilarity. It’s not the March of Dimes. It’s a business.

But every effort was made to explain things to me that it wasn’t done haphazardly or cruelly. Darryl exited the show in twenty nineteen. He took over as the announcer in twenty fourteen. There were times in the past when you thought you were listening to Don Pardo and it was actually Daryl Hammond doing an impression of Pardo. I think Fallon did it a couple of times too, as Don Parter.

As Don Parter got older and sometimes missed a show. I’m not sure if they’ve publicly admitted to that, but that’s the thing. Mike Chisholm from The Letterman Show were one of you late night guys. Let me know if I have my fax right on that, John, why don’t you google it? Because that’s not fun?

Michael texts me, Hi, Mike anyway. E w asked Daryl Hammond about a twenty eighteen social media message from Trump in which the president called for Hammond to be reinstated as the Trump Guy because he’s funnier and far greater talent than Alec Baldwin. Daryl said, I think if a president tweets about you and suddenly Vladimir Putin knows your name, you’ve stepped in history somewhere. My mouth was on the floor. I couldn’t believe that.

The first thing I thought was now the Kremlin’s going, who’s this guy looking me up? That’s a long way from the Little League fields I grew up on. I graduated college with a two to one, and there were five presidents calling me by my first name when I was on SNL. Feel like it did pretty good. Apparently Dick Cheney liked Daryl Hammond’s impersonation so much that he once invited Daryl Hammond to perform at a Republican retreat as Bill Clinton.

Hammond says Cheney had a sense of humor. I still remember his pounding on the table when I said this joke as Bill Clinton. I hadn’t done Clinton in a while, but the joke was. Boy, that Dick Cheney, with his hard condition and that electronic pacemaker. Every time he sneezes the garage door opens.

I remember him pounding on the table and I thought, wow, he’s generous with his time. Kathleen Madigan quietly dropped a special last week Amazon Prime keeping these things quiet. If you go on Prime Video, you’ll find a special. It’s called The Family Thread, and it stars Kathleen Madigan. We’re told she’s laid back, smart, unfiltered, and brutally funny.

That’s a very good description of Kathleen. I know her in real life, hung out, with her several times. Definitely laid back, definitely smart, definitely unfiltered, definitely brutally funny as she takes on everything from chaotic family text in Midwest quirks to aging parents, savage cats, and the fine art of having zero pride. The La Times, which has a great comedy section, caught up with Kathleen. They thought the family threat is so great because it really makes you think of yourself and our own families, all while you’re pretty much roasting yours.

Madigan said, thank you. I’m conscious of the fact that trying to include everyone, but I could do hours on my parents and just never stopped. It’s endless, and anybody forty and up is gonna end up dealing with some version of just crazy old people. Once my sister goes, I don’t remember our great aunts and uncle’s being as crazy as mom and dad can be. And I was like, because they died of whatever.

The first thing was Dad should have been dead two heart attacks ago.

And then we’re in stroke land.

My mom had lung cancer and she’s fine. It’s good, we’re buying them time, but how much time are we buying and is their quality left? It’s like this will all my friends at this age too, to mention here and there, stroked out over there. Even for my younger siblings were forty nine because my parents had them late. Of course, back then thirty seven was late to have a kid, And now people are really pushing it la times.

Well, now if you’re thirty five and over, they call it a geriatric pregnancy. Mattigan said, that’s hilarious. I know a bunch of friends of mine who got pregnant and they don’t have to do that special testing because they were over thirty eight. They didn’t care about that. With my mom, nobody cared what she was smoking or drinking either.

So there’s that. My old family’s always been the type where everything’s kind of a joke. At the end of the day. Grandpa used to say, one hundred years from now, will anyone know the difference? Not a bad way, but in a light spirited way, like this life is kind of nonsense, so have fun, live it up.

Chelsea Handler will host the Critics Choice Awards. The awards will be announced Friday, December fifth, the award show Sunday, January fourth. By the way, the Critics Choice Awards has added four new categories this Year Best Variety Series, Stunt Design, Casting, Ensemble and Sound. Chelsea Handler said, kicking off the year with the Critics’ Choice Awards feels right. Nothing says new beginnings like a room full of critics ready to tell you how you did last year.

We’ll we’ve been to watch these things live on television on E and USA from seven to ten pm on Sunday, January fourth. You know she used to date Joe Coy. Joe Coy, I don’t know if you remember he hosted the Golden Globes once until this horrible, horrible, mean joke about Salor Swift. Here, let’s listen the big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL. On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift.

I love that bit. It never gets old. Joe Coy, why are you mentioning of John other than the fourth to bit? Well, no, no, there’s actual news. I’m not that horrible.

Joe Coy is taping a new special. He’s recording at Friday, January sixteenth, and the next day, which is did you figure it out? That’s right, Saturday, January seventeenth. He’s taping at Stockton’s Adventist Health Arena. Organizers say it will be a Netflix special.

Get an early jump on my twenty twenty sixth list. Patton Oswalt was on the Last Laugh podcast. They asked, Patten, do you think satsire like South Park or the late night shows is effective in changing people’s perceptions of the Trump administration or people in power? Patton, who’s getting as serious as Harry Conobolo lately, he said, that’s hard to say, only because the only effective satsire right now is satire that’s as insane as the time we’re living in. We are living such hallucinatory times.

In order to capture it, you need to create something that feels less hallucinatory, and thus it doesn’t quite land on you the way it should, because it’s so crazy you can almost discount it a little bit. Send your letters to Patton Oswalt, who said, you also have to remember when people say that Trump followers and Maggot people are lost, they’re not lost. This is the only time in their lives they’ve ever felt found and seen and understood, and people will hang on to that until the bitter end. They will never ever let go of that, even if you show them on a chart, how this guy’s robbing you. They’re like, he was nice to me, and no one has ever been nice to me, no one’s ever accepted my horribleness.

I’ve found people that are like me and I’ve never had this and I’m never letting this go. They’ll die with him if they have to. That’s why the Democrats drive me up at wall with this whole reaching across the aisle thing. Yes, he should try to reach across and work with them, but you also need technowledge. There are some people on both sides, and I think way more on their side that are just permanently unreachable.

And by the way, that’s another thing that makes this country great, that you can have a chunk of people that are unreachable and the country still functions. Sendor letters to Paton Oswald pattn New Word Oswalt. Now, if you’ve been listening to the show, you know that the President and I are not aligned on all the issues. Some issues we are aligned on. For example, make twelve thirty great Again?

Is the late night franchise in the best hands it’s ever been in? Absolutely not, And I think the President is right to be addressing this that we should make twelve thirty great again. Josh Johnson.

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Meanwhile, I do differ with the President of the United States on this whole …

Again. I don’t support fascism. I don’t want the fascists taking Jimmy Kimmel off the air. I don’t just say that green Hulu button that’s bottom right on my Roku remote, and I know where it’s there because I look at it every day, and I go, I’m not pressing you. I’m gonna walk up three flights of stairs and get the Scrubs DVDs.

I’m not watching fascist support of television Disney ABC taking Jimmy Kimmel off the air. Anyway. The President was very upset with this Jimmy Kimmel person and posted on Truth’s Social Why does ABC fake News keep Jimmy Kimmel, a man with no talent and very poor television ratings, on the air. Why do the TV syndicates put up with it?

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Also totally biased coverage?

Get the bomb off the air? Three exclamation points. Well, mister President, appreciate you listening to Daily Comedy News. Your initial question, why does ABC Fake News keep Jimmy Kimmel on the air is the gist of your question. It’s not the news department that’s keeping Jimmy Kimmel on the air.

He’s actually part of the entertainment group. So the correct question would be why does the ABC Entertainment Group keep Jimmy Kimmel on the air. The answer is that the show does pretty well, presumably make some money, and Jimmy’s the face of the network. The second part of the President’s question, why do the TV syndic kates put up with it? Well, you see, mister President, to be part of the network, you do have to carry almost all of their programming.

So if you wanted, say Monday Night Football or Dancing with the Stars or whatever else is on the ABC network. Again, I don’t watch the thing. I’m not going to support people that took Ji Mkimmel off the air. So whatever it is they’re showing, these stations have to air these things or they’ll be removed from the network. So that is the answer to your question, mister President.

Appreciate you listening. As you know, there are five good Adam Sandler movies, two of them co star Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore has been pushing an idea where she would co star with the great dramatic actor Adam Sandler in a remake of the nineteen ninety two comedy Death Becomes Her Now. If you don’t recall that film, Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn are both in love with Bruce Willis, so much so that they ingest a magic elixir that promises eternal youth with disastrous effects. One would assume Adam Sandler would play the Bruce Willis role, with Drew Barrymore playing one of the women.

This, of course, is a terrible idea because it would force Adam Sandler to try and be funny again. Sandler’s gonna go in a stick Sandlor, and we don’t want to push him there. We want to keep him as the great, serious dramatic actor that he is, So that is a terrible idea. Drew Barrymore. Sorry.

Another idea is a reimagining of the classic ABC sitcom Three’s Company. You may recall. In Three’s Company, John Ritter plays a man who pretends to be gay so he can share an apartment with two single women. In this idea, Adam Sandler who would play the Jack Tripper role as for the female roommates. They would be played by Drew Barrymore and Jennifer Aniston.

Okay, putting aside that this would be Adam Sandler doing shticky comedy. All three actors name there are too old. We can’t remake Three’s Company with everybody in their sixties. What are we doing? That’s the terrible idea.

Who I think would have been a great Jack Tripper ten to fifteen years ago is Pete Holmes. I think he would have been perfect. He looks the part, He’s got the sensibility for the part. I thought he would have been great. But I think Three’s Company and the original Man about the House are things of their time, and I’m not sure how we would bring that back today.

So let’s just not. Amazon’s MGM Studios has landed Compulsive Liar, which would star Emily Gordon and Kamale Nanjianni. Details are being kept under wraps, however, Deadline has figured out the project is based on the Canadian comedy Mentur. In Mentur, we follow Simon, who’s a big liar. His family and colleagues organized an intervention which turns into a confrontation, and Simon denies everything.

The next day he wakes up in a world where all his lives have come true. I guess Adam Sandler was not available for that one. Out today on the eight hundred Pound Gorilla YouTube channel, Big Jay Okerson’s Them They And that’s your comedy news for today. And I kicked five stories so again, real episodes on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, all weekend. I got plenty, not doing any of those top ten sitcoms of All time kind of stuff.

I got plenty for you and tomorrow a normal episode. See you then,

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Just looking ahead all week including Thanksgiving on the holiday weekend, normal episodes. There’s just so much news going on. I didn’t have to do like Holidy Filler, Adam Sandler’s fifteen Worst Movies and anything like that, all normal regular media episodes.

Among the things I haven’t been able to tell you about Ricky Gervays. His next stand up special will be on Netflix December thirtieth. Now, Johnny Mack’s not happy with that release date because I like to do the top twenty five specials of the yearless and if you wait till December thirtieth, it’s not gonna be on it. I got a hand in the homework to the I gotta make the shows. I gotta hand the stuff in for my substack and for the publicist.

I can’t wait till December thirtieth. Anyway. It’s called Mortality. It’s the hour. Ricky Gervase has been touring since twenty twenty four.

Filmed earlier this year at the London Palladium. It’s his fourth stand up special. The Lazy Netflix copywriter promises no topic is off limits on as Ricky closes out the year with his best show yet. The official log line is a little bitter written. It says Gervaise takes on his own mortality in a brutally honest and darkly funny stand up special about his life, death, and the state of the world.

Ricky said, I think Mortality is my most honest and confessional show so far, and also my favorite tour. I still can’t believe what a privilege it is to fly around the world making people laugh. Now that news made me realize. At some point, I had this Tom Sagora story in my little notebook here that I work with for the show, and it got dropped and I don’t know what happened to it, because I don’t think I’ve told you that Tom Sigora Teacher will be out on Netflix December twenty fourth. Yeah, Tom Sagora has got a new special and it’s called Teacher, and as I told you, it’ll be out December twenty fourth.

Also not good for year endlists or publicists or homework or substacks. Deadline says no word yet on what Sigora covers in the hour. It’s his fifth special for Netflix. Nate BRIGATSI. I still think he’s out of his mind.

He was at the International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions Industry conference, the IAAPAXPO. Nate showed up at this thing and announced that his company is partnering with Storyland Studios, a SoCal based themed entertainment, architecture and design firm. Together, they will explore the concept and feasibility of a Napurghetsy theme park in Nashville. I’m telling you, if I’m still doing this podcast in ten years, I’m going to one day for holiday filler. Be like remember the time Naperghetzi was going to open a theme park.

Whatever happened to that. I mean, just do a bourbon or something. This is crazy. The feasibility study is set to be completed in the first quarter of twenty twenty six. Fall goes well, they’ll have a shovel on the ground in five to six years.

Hmmm. I don’t know anything about musement parks, but the word boondoggle just went into my brain. I don’t know what to do with the word boon doggle. I don’t know what kind of sentence to use the word boondoggle in. Maybe It has nothing to do with this story at all, but the word boondoggle did pop into my brain.

Here’s the plan. They want build a one hundred plus acre amusement park. Now I’m from New York City. I have no idea how big an acre is. Sounds pretty big, and one hundred of them sound huge, but I don’t know.

I’m a city boy. The amusement park will include amenities like retail, dining, and even a hotel. At Nateland. The project is being handled by the Experiences Division, which is also responsible for such things as a Nateland themed cruise setting sale via Norwegian Cruise Line early next year. Hey, you want to go on the themed cruise?

Dusty Slave’s going to be there. I don’t know for a fact Dusty’s going to be there. I’m doing a bit. I don’t even know that Nate’s going to be there. I’m finding this out as you do.

You think i’d pre read these stories? Are you crazy? Anyway? You want to go on the Nateland cruise? That sounds fun.

Other divisions at Nateland are focused on stand up movies, TV, merch, and an incubation lab for new talent. I look forward to the opening of Nateland many years from now, John Mulaney was in Texas. While in town, mullaney did a one on one with Austin based filmmaker Noah Hawley. You may know him from such things as Fargo, Legion and Alien in Earth. Mullaney said, the satisfaction of being on stage in Austin The audience can see me, but I’m not blown up on the screen, and I’m getting a laugh with the slightest shrug.

That’s a really powerful feeling. The festival mainly focuses on politics. One attendee ask John Mulaney, why are you here? Now? I’m picturing the attendee as KHN and the attendee going now, tell me why are you here?

Did you watch Star Trek two? Great film? Malleni said, went in a city. I like to see as many sides of it and take part and as much of it as I can. I was very lucky that this was happening at the same time the half assed Millennie’s coming along.

I’m working on it again. The key to it is you have to do the French Schneider. It’s as big as a whale, and that’s how you get into your half assed Millennium’m slightly zoning in on it, so you got the SCHNEIDERSM and then I realized mulleny over enunciates working on it again. Not an impression, it’s a half ass impression. The discussion went to Mulanie’s recent appearance at the Supreme Court hearing zone Revember fifth.

Mulleny recalled that Justice Alito seemed to get poor of his own hypotheticals and Justice Thomas looks like he struggles to stay awake. M’laney said they seem to get along with each other in a way you might not think there was a lot of collegiality. If you and nine co workers had to sit out a panel, you’d eventually lean over and do jokes to each other. Talked about the Austin comedy scene, saying a lot of comedians were moving to Austin, Texas and made it seem like this big move. I was like, Austin’s a huge city.

Go to Gavelston. I like my houses, like I like my chimpanzees on stilts. Then mulanie was asked, well, AI ever be funnier than a comedian? Millenney said, AI will never shrug and the shrug is the highest form of intelligence. Mlaney also spoke with The Texas Standard.

They were curious, what’s your takeaway of Texas. Milleniy said, I think of Texas as his father with like a bunch of different sons that are his cities. And you know, Dallas is trying to do everything right and run the family business and is responsible with money. In Houston does a good job, but it’s just boring as hell. Austin is more like the more emo kid at the end of the table.

It’s like, what did you do today, Austin. He’s like, I colored a sort of artistic libertarian son at the end of the table that does whatever he wants. As for Sayatonio, I love san Antonio. San Antonio is like the kid that just always fine but doesn’t visit a lot. On your TV tonights.

It is the thirtieth anniversary celebration of Everybody Loves Raymond. Are you feeling old yet? Yeah? CBS eight o’clock. Now you might be like, CBS, aren’t those the guys that eliminate the Late Show?

If I watch this thing, am I supporting fascism? That’s a great question. I’m gonna say no, because as you know, Colbert was canceled over budget reasons. It had nothing to do with fascism or anti fascism or pseudo fascism. It was all about budget.

So I’m gonna tell you you’re okay if you want to watch this thing tonight. Okay, just if you’re watching Scrubs, go get the DVDs. Don’t push that Hulu button on the rokop. You gotta stand strong support Jimmy Kimmel. But Colbert, that was all budget.

You can watch the Raymond special. It will feature appearances from Ray Romano, I would hope, so you know, you don’t want to do this thing without Ray, Brad Garrett, Patricia Heaton, and the others. It will include a tribute to late cast members Dors, Robert It’s and Peter Boyle, who played the Parents. Series creator Phil Rosenthal and Ray Romano sat down with tv Line. Phil said, I’ve been trying to get this done for ten years.

Ray said, he told me about it, and I said, I’m game. Then he took it to CBS and Phil says, I’d see other show’s doing reunions that think we have funny stories and we have nice remembrance. We want to do it. Ray said, people were asking about reboots. We agreed we would never do a reboot, so we’ll do a reunion.

We like reunions, but ten years ago CBS wasn’t into it. Five years ago they weren’t into it. This year knew people are there and they were into it, So here we go. TV Line points out, Hey, this is being built as the thirtieth anniversary. The show premiered in nineteen ninety six.

Technically this is your twenty ninth anniversary. What’s the story there? Phil was like, it’s technically the thirtieth anniversary since the show got going. We filmed the pilot in the spring of ninety six. We were on the air and fall in ninety six.

But Ray and I met in ninety five right for the special. They recreated the living room set hottson Field. Being on that set again, Ray said, first of all, the work they did to rebuild it was amazing. The only thing that was original was the couch, which I took home with me in two thousand and five and gave it back to them for the special. I love that Ray Romano had the couch for twenty years.

That’s amazing. You couldn’t tell the difference. If you told me this was the exact set, I’d believe it. It was emotional. I’ll say that.

Ray recently rewatched all nine seasons. He told TV Line. Which struck me the most was the acting. I mean, I knew it was good back then, but now I wasn’t as critical. I’m not saying I didn’t remember every show I did, but I remember what was going to happen next, and I saw little things that I appreciated more, the nuances of each actor, how good they were.

I think I just appreciated them, the cast, and the writing more. Back then, it was hard for me not to be critical of myself. What’s funny is I’d see myself without a shirt on in an episode then and be like, what the hell am I doing? What am I doing showing this to the world. When I watch it now, I was like, no, I was in shape back then.

Good question from TV lines, sitcoms, Off and Juggle, AB and C storylines, Raymond was always focused on one. Was that a rule? Phil said yes. I thought if a story’s worth telling, it’s worth telling for the twenty one minutes we have. Ray said yeah, But we didn’t perfectly say we can’t do that, because that’s a bet story.

It wasn’t the dynamic of the world we were in. Pat Oswalt was on the last last podcast. They start talking about Kimmelgate and the video Patten had sheared from the airport. I had played that in one of the bonus episodes. You know what was the deal with that?

Batton Oswald, who said, well, it was one of those moments when what was being done was so blatant and so petty, and it was just such an absolute misuse of power, and I wanted to get something out there. Not that I have any kind of massive platform or swam culture, but I could already fast forward to the way the pro Trump people were going to start to try and rationalize this. There’s now a scary legion of people out there whose job is to make the abnormal seem normal and reasonable. This from the guy who played Dug the Vulcan. All right, Patton, you want to talk about making something abnormal seem normal?

You played Dug the Vulcan as a trekkie. I’m still furious about this. You can hear the rage coming out during this podcast. Patton said, all of you people to keep saying Trump is bringing America back. Whatever he’s bringing back, it’s not America.

He’s bringing back twelve thirty. Patton Oswalt. The President and I are aligned. Make twelve thirty great again. Let’s get back to the golden age of Letterman and Conan and even Craig Ferguson.

We need better twelve th shows, Patton Oswalt said. But I think from the beginning of time there’s this overall mediocrity that wants a foothold in life. And it hates excellence. Oh, you’re teeing yourself up here, Paton. And it hates people that actually craft their job and care about their job.

They just want loud, sloppy spectacle. For example, the musical episode of Strange New Worlds, the Star Trek series on which you played Dug the Vulcan. Like that kind of nonsense, not going for greatness. Yeah, that Patton said, And it’ll even flow, and it’ll flare up and it’ll die down. Right now, we’re looking at a massive flare up.

We’ve got to be better about calling that stuff out when it’s happening. Yes, say somebody plays a crappy character on Star Trek Strange New Worlds, call that actor out and tell him, no, you are destroying Star Trek. Patton said, it’s very tempting to think there’s this big, loud, frightening guy. If you’re just nice to him and do what he says, I’ll make your life comfortable. Now, Luckily for us in this case, Trump doesn’t even know how to make his worshippers lives comfortable.

This does feel like a bad virus, bad flu, some kind of bacterial infection that we just have to write out. Then I used some language that I think doesn’t translate. Well, I’m not going to read it. I don’t want to a visit from men in sunglasses. I’m a line with the president.

Make twelve thirty great again. Okay, you calm down, Dug. The Vulcan Daniel Tosh was on his podcast announcing Tour d Eights for next year. He got to Toledo and said Toledo is a gem and then compared it to Tacoma, Washington by saying, why do you guys live here when there’s other great cities nearby? That’s how I feel about Toledo.

The other great cities are just slightly less crappy. Tosh continued, Toledo’s bad. You know it’s bad Toledo. And I’m not gonna sit here and act like it’s a great city and I want you to come out and support me. Okay, but the city’s bad.

Tosh clarified, the people could be fine. I’m talking about the city itself bad. Jim Gaffigan told people that he has lost fifty pounds now with the help of Munjaro, a drug used to treat type two diabetes. Jim told people, I feel good. I’m just grateful because it’s a better life.

Gaffigan said he had gotten up to two hundred and seventy pounds. Jim said, I had very low expectations because I didn’t know someone that had tried it and they were like, oh, I was nauseous for a week, and I thought my true joy of eating would overpower anything. That is your comedy news for today. I’ll see you tomorrow.