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Caloroga Shark Media. Damn Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. If you missed a couple episodes because the holidays, I get it. I had real episodes both Thanksgiving and yesterday, and yesterday was particularly fun. I was a little loosey yesterday.
Go back and check that out. The SF Gate went to see John Mulaney. They’re right. Comedian John m’alini returned to San Francisco, which he once dubbed a city that isn’t nice. Mlini opened the show by reminiscing on his history with San Francisco and talked about one of his recent sets in the city.
I came here briefly to do a concerted dream Force, and then he told the tech bros that they’re imminently replaceable. Malleini added, I got paid before the show. You can’t do that. He did some local humor the seal of San Francisco should be a guy going back to get a jacket. Melini then admitted, I’ve been doing that joke here since two thousand and seven.
That’s hilarious. I guess he won’t have an Amazon special anytime soon. He did some material about Jeff Bezos saying, no matter how much money you have, there’s no fixing a late. He also commented on Missus Bezos Laurence Sanchez. Yeah, definitely no Amazon special coming.
John Mulaney said, it’s beautiful. How beautiful he thinks she is. M’laney not a fan of AI, saying not complicated, all bad. Don’t let the robots take over? How many times did we practice?
He did some jokes about Robert F. Kennedy, saying his wife was in Curb your enthusiasm and he cheats on her like a dog. That joke got booed. Mulaney said, that’s the line for you. He poisons children, but his infidelity is too far.
The Gate says John may dip his toes into dangerous topics, but mulaney is skilled enough to make even the most vanilla content hilarious. And apparently the closer is very strong. No spoilers here. Now. The President of the United States and I we don’t agree on all the issues.
Some of the issues we do agree upon, For example, make twelve thirty greed again this next issue. Not sure I’m aligned with the president. You see the president, he’s trying to revive the rush hour franchise. That’s right. The President of the United States would like there to be rush Our.
President Trump has been speaking with Larry Ellison, that’s the guy who owns Paramount about bringing back Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. Now, interestingly enough, Chris Tucker was recently seen at a Kamala Harris campaign rally. At the time of this recording, there are no plans for a new Rush Hour film, but you never know. My question is why is the President not doing anything about Star Trek. Make Star Trek agreed again?
Stop with the rush Hour, focus on people like Patton Oswalt who speak out against you, mister President, and then play character’s name Doug the Vulcan on Star Trek. I don’t think the President is attacking Patton Oswalt on this issue, this Star Trek, this Dug the Vulcan issue. Quite enough. Patton Oswalt was on Stephen Colbert’s soon to end show, and if Stephen Colbert is going to promote garbage like this, perhaps it is time for the show to come to an end. Let’s listen.
Star Trek Strange, New World’s guest star Patton Oswalt breaks down playing a sexy vulcan Yes, let’s get the sex and that’s going here on. Yeah, hid, Wow, that is what’s uh? What’s what’s his name? His name is Doug. His name is Doug.
It’s his name is Doug is dark. His parents were fascinated with earth culture, so they gave him an earthling name, Doug. Doug. He is a he is an uh, he’s an artist, and he studies vulcan contras and and he is a sensualist. Wow.
Yeah. What is most you know sexy about being a vulcan is the ears or the emotional inavailability. The emotional inavailability. There’s a whole come here, go away vibe coming off of Doug and also that you he is. It is a come here, go away, here go away, come here, go away attack by retreating.
Now, among the issues that the President and I don’t agree on is this whole Jimmy Kimmel thing. Bill Maher called out Jimmy Kimmel’s wife, this is going to go well. I’m sure Kimmel will be like, oh yeah, I’m totally cool with that and not fire back at all. You may recall Missus Kimmel was on a podcast. She revealed that before the election, she reached out to some of her conservative family members to convince them not to vote for President Trump.
She told the podcaster she’s lost some relationships with some family members over their support for the current president. Bill maher addressed the comments. Now these comments were like a month ago. Did Bill Maher pre tape? No shame there.
Sometimes you gotta tape ahead. I understand, Bill Maher, Mar said Jimmy Kimmel’s wife and head writer when public on this topic recently, so I feel it’s fair to comment respectfully in public. She says she’s lost relationships with relatives because she wrote them an email before the election with ten reasons why they shouldn’t vote for Trump. Now, that would have been a great Letterman top ten list. I’m gonna hit pause here.
I’m tempted. I’m gonna ask chat shept to write a harmless top ten list in the Letterman style. Be right back, Okay, I’m back, and this is pretty good. All right, I come in peace. I’ll tell you what I typed in.
Here are the instructions make a harmless nineteen eighty five style slash era Letterman top ten list of the reasons not to vote for Donald Trump. Keep it silly, and then I asked it to get in one particular joke, which you’ll see, Chatchpt playing it safe, chat Chept to hold me. I could do a purely silly, fictional nineteen eighty five Letterman era comedy bit as entertainment only in italics, not real political advice, not actual reasons to vote or not vote. Okay, relax, Chatchapt, it’s a bit. Think of this kind of as the absurdist list.
Dave would read, with Paul chuckling in the background. Yes, that is what we’re doing. Deliverate jokes that have nothing to do with real policies, a real voting guidance. Thanks Ai from the Home Office in Washington, DC. The top ten completely fictional, totally ridiculous, clearly non political reasons not to vote for Donald Trump.
Number ten claims his official presidential votor cade will be upgraded to twelve stretch limos connected like a giant human centipede of catillacts. Number nine wants the national bird replaced, will the really hand pigeon? Number eight keeps calling the nuclear football the nuclear fanny pack. Number seven says he won’t take the oath unless there’s a fog machine at at least one ball the eagle on a skateboard. Number six his proposed cabinet me a mirror, a second mirror, and a guy named Rick who sells stakes out of a van.
Number five wants to rename Mount Rushmore Mount Brushmore and place all the faces with different versions of his hair. Number four says he will accept no briefing materials unless they come in the form of Garfield Comics. Number three thinks NATO is that thing with the singing sharks on Sunday Mornings. Number two keep says, says thing he’s going to make twelve thirty great again, and frankly the network is getting nervous in the number one reason not to vote for Donald Trump his official campaign theme song, You’re the Inspiration, performed entirely on kazoo. I think we might have a new bit coming up.
Yeah, the bit is called completely Revolve Table Levan. I don’t know if that’s a bit seon. Oh I enjoyed doing that anyway, I digress. Where were we? Oh?
Yeah, Bill Maher taking a shot at missus Kimmel, who had her own list of ten reasons not to vote for Trump. That’s how we got into that, Okay, Bill Moore said ten reasons. I could think of one hundred, but I would never present it to someone as an ultimatum. Ultimatums don’t make people rethink their politics. They make them rethink.
You right a top ten list to yourself. We had to try and imagine ten reasons why seventy seven million Americans didn’t want to trust you with taking power. And I say that as someone who votes Democratic, and as I liked to remind my very pure friends, we voted for the same person. You’re just why she lost. Jim Gaffigan got a wax job from Variety.
They asked Jim, Hey, Jim, that’s your sense if humor change over time. Jim said, oh, yeah, it’s definitely evolved. That’s what’s really interesting about having children. The value of a reverence, whether you’re nineteen or twenty one, the excitement around reverence is so much more appealing than nuance. You appreciate nuance later on, when I was in college, I worked as a doorman at a comedy club, and I remember thinking, Oh, these boring comedians.
I like the edgy guy. I would have disliked my own comedy back then. They asked Jim about working relatively clean. Was he always clean? Jim said, Now, I tried on a lot of different hats.
I tried being edgy. There’s footage of me smoking on stage. Whoa, WHOA relaxed there Jim Dice Gaffigan smoking on stage. Who unbelievable? So edgy?
A lot of it’s just trial and error. Eventually you end up being the person who actually are on stage. That’s kind of unavoidable and stand up if you want to embrace authenticity. Some of it is the ten thousand hours and transferring what makes you funny with your friends onto the stage. But the trial and error is being educated on how the audience perceives you.
It’s similar to being a character actor, which I also am, which is code for ugly. You need self awareness. When I’d go on stage at PIPS in nineteen ninety three, the crowded just seeing Andrew Dice Clay and that see me and think I’m John Tesh. I wanted to not be John Tesh, but I eventually had to face the reality that this is what I look like. It’s unfortunate, Jim added.
Comedians get a lot of credit or criticism for the comedy they do, but the reality is they do exactly what they’re kind of allowed to do. I’m a big, lumbering white guy. If I was angry, I don’t think that would be appealing. Lewis Black can be angry, even Bill Burr can be angry. But if I’m angry, it just makes the audience uncomfortable.
If I’m silly and self effacing, that’s palatable to the audience. Ah, We’ll be right back. The Lil Roady Comedy Festival announced their lineup. Pretty good lineup. It shows are in March more, twenty sixth to the twenty ninth, Providence, Rhode Island.
John Mulaney, Chelsea Handler, Jay Farrow, Mark Maren, Andrew Schultz, Bob the Drag Queen and others. That’s a pretty pretty impressive list. Timothy Shalomy said Adam Sandler should have won an Oscar for his performance in the two thousand and two film Punch Drunk Love. I think I tell the story already at my class. Yeah, I did ten days ago.
In my class I mentioned how for repetition and for humor, I always say the great dramatic actor Adam Sandler, and one of my students went him like a seven minute speech. About Adam Sandler. It was like he was doing my bit, except he was like super serious. I mean, I’m serious about it. I do think Adam sandler comedies are terrible, and he’s a pretty good dramatic actor.
But you know, I lean into it for the bit. But this student went on for like seven minutes, and this student was all about punch drunk love. So my student agrees with Timathy s Shella May, who says it’s one of the most important performances. It’s impactful, deeply moving. As a young actor, knowing you for your comedic work Adam Sandler, seeing that thrown against the context of your other work, I’m like, Wow, this is an incredible actor.
I hope I can give a performance like this. I know it’s not about awards, but you should have a golden man in your hand. Man. You’re one of the best actors of all time, exactly, one of the best actors of all time, one of the worst comedians. Actually, possibly the worst comedian.
Now that’s probably somebody worse than him. I’m sure if I sat here and thought about it for a minute, no one immediately comes to mind. But in terms of comedy movies, probably the worst of all time. Hopefully the great dramatic actor Adam Sandler will heed the words of Timothy Shllamey, who knows something about acting and has a very successful career without doing moronic attempts at comedy. And that is your comedy news for today.
I once again bounced a lot of stories. I got plenty for tomorrow and Monday. And you know, usually this is a dead time of year, but I’ve got a lot heading out of Thanksgiving. This is like the easiest it’s been since I started doing the show Plenty to talk about. I’m having a good time.
Appreciate you listening. Seems like you’re having a good time, especially if you’re still here this deep in. Have an awesome day.