Daily Comedy News Podcast Transcripts

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Full Transcript

Callaroga, shock media. Point, or it’s just flying by. Hello. I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, a daily briefing on stand up comedy comedians in the comedy industry. As sentience.

You think I could remember after saying it every day for two months and twenty days, but I can’t, But the algorithms love it. The you guys at the Are You Garbage? Podcast? They’re taping a live version of their podcast in Tampa, Florida today and tomorrow, so that would be two versions unless they’re going to edit it together. Don’t do that case you’re not familiar.

Are You Garbage is where your favorite comedians find out if the comedian grew up classy or if they’re a big old piece of trash. No, I love this questions, the host asked the guests resemble the following questions, so none of us are saying these are the actual questions. The questions resemble these totally hypothetical questions, which could be sort of like, but not exactly. Has anyone in your family ever represented themselves in court? Have you ever owned a snake, lizard, or bird?

Anyone in your family have an above ground pool? Have you ever given yourself a haircut. I think we all did. During the pandemic. I grew it out at one point I had to grab the razor.

Ever sat through a Timeshare pitch, I have have you been on a cruise in the last th round of sixty five days? Hm? Last three sixty five? No? I did go to Antarctica about four hundred sixty five days ago.

Does that count? Now? Why are they taping in Florida? I think we know, guys, you don’t have to answer this question. Tampa has some of the best comedy crowds around.

They could be a little rough and tumble, but it’s the right mix of blue collar, assault of the earth and trash all mixed into one, which makes it perfect for the AYG live shows. Now, these guys, this is amazing. Like I see them. They’re regularly top podcast charts. But I didn’t know this until I started reading you the podcast.

Their Patreon has twenty two thousand subscribers. Okay, nice big number, bringing in an estimated one hundred and thirty thousand dollars a month. Wow, multiply that by twelve and then split it by two and pay your manager and taxes and stuff. But wow, Guests on the pod have included Shane Gillis, Lean Morgan Napergetzi, Tom Sigora, Tim Dillon, Jim Gaffigan, and Bert Kraser, whose name seems to show up in every single story. Lately.

HBO announced Day special with Julio Torres. Now, I need you to pay attention. Okay, pay attention. I’m going to play you the trailer. I need you to pay attention.

What are we paying attention to? Johnny Mack, you are paying attention to the laughs on this one. I cannot believe this got handed in. I personally believe no proof, just an opinion. Someone grabbed the CD with fake laugh track cut three and just splice it onto this trailer a million times.

I can’t believe it. Listen to this, pay attention to the laugh, and you tell me that’s not a fake laugh. This is awful. When I say that something is a color, I don’t mean that literally. Like if I say purple is the color of mystery, Like objets in the mirror, maybe close than they appear.

Purple. It’s different than lilac. Lilac is being a moment, Purple is being a stepmother. Hurry, you have to move on. Anyway, Navy blue is the color of law and order.

It’s the color of airports. It’s the airport’s way of saying, whatever, your deal. Is not here. And red is rage. Now, have you ever met someone who.

Is so red but they are squeeze? It’s been a navy blue packaging. That’s a real housewife. I am obviously creating a rubric for young people to see the world using colors. Age is what millennials have become.

It’s scared, but it’s gonna try. And black is what you don’t know. White is what you do know. That is white. Doctors were white because it’s their way of saying, I know.

Fusia is no one’s writing anything down. In the event that your favorite color is mentioned, please celebrate quietly to your. Selling horrible production aside. Color Theories will premiere one week from tonight at eight East and West on HBO Max whatever we’re calling it today. You know that thing where you find John Oliver and the Dragon shows that one.

Now, I will describe this as quirky, much like Chris Fleming, much like Sarah Sherman. Is the Friday night HBO’s slot where we’re putting the quirky comedy. It appears so coming off an off Broadway run. With the show, Julio Torre’s Color Theories offers a guide to understand the world. There is playful interpretation of colors, horrible production aside.

I liked the underlying material. I just don’t know why somebody added laugh track number three fifty times. Taking the stage of New York City as an expert on the inherent traits of particular colors, the comedian explores the nuances of rule based navy blue to the rage of red through observations from his life and culture at large. Blending stand up with other media, the special advices to see the people, places, and things around us through Julio’s kaleidoscopic eyes. Is it kaleidoscopic or kaleidoscopic?

It’s kaleidiskopic, isn’t it. I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you. Facebook group, Daily Comedy News podcast group, Kaleida’s scopic. Who’s the guy that corrected me about the fish?

Fish guy? Let me know how you say that is kaleidoscopic? I don’t know. On your television in the United Kingdom tomorrow, it’s Saturday Night Live UK. Your guest host is Tina Fey.

They put out a trailer. I like the trailer a lot. In the trailer, Tina Fey is dressed as Mary Poppins, and believe you me, I wouldn’t have said this ten minutes ago. Tina Fey makes a fantastic Mary Poppins, like perfect, looks great and her fake accent that you’re about to hear better than what Dick Van Dyke did. Anybody want to put on a production of Mary Poppins starring Tina Fey, you’ll watch anyway.

I like this trailer a lot, and it’s a little lengthy. I’m gonna let it run. But here’s a Tina fe promoting SNL UK. So this is it, guys, the countdown to Saturday Night Live UK. Now, you just need to figure out a way to let everyone know.

The first live show is on Sky one at ten pm on Saturday twenty first. Of March and can also be streamed on now TV. If you’re too busy getting laid, how can we possibly communicate that to people? We’ll just find a way to pop in. Did someone say Poppins?

She’s rue. The other round. Children Nanny is here with everything you need for a practically perfect. You know what, I’m gonna drop the voice. I’ve got everything you need for your first ever snl UK’s lows.

Yeah, sure, wings make the character’s nice. Oh crown in case you guys want to do royal stuff. Oh a really long shoe that could be funny. Oh, I’ve got your lunch jack el pie with extra eel. Oh, Tina, thank you so much.

We’re not in them. We’re just going to do jokes about them. Hey, Tina, we love that you’re here, but we’re just trying to figure out how to promote the show. Oh no course, why do you think I brought this? I’m Tina Fey and I’m hosting SnO UK this week?

Why because I thought it would get me dual citizenship. It did not. Hang on, is that why you asked us all to marry you. Wish me up? Yes, it really hurts my crutch.

Goodbye. Watch your head now. In that trailer, they were trying to get people in the UK to you watch it. You’re more likely listening in the United States. Should we look up the stats?

I could tell you I like stats. Let’s see, let’s do last thirty days geolocation. There’s a fifty six percent chance you’re listening to me the United States. There’s a nine and a half percent chance you’re listening in Australia. Australians say, Hi, I want to hear from you.

Guys. Eight and a half percent of you are from Canada and probably named Mike, and there are eight percent of you in the UK. So this entire story you’ve been doing for four minutes now, John is targeted eight percent of the audience. No, no, no, no, no, My friends people in the United States can also watch this. SNL UK will be on Peacock starting on Sunday, say Mark Norman told Fox News.

The social media algorithm is ruining everything. Mark said, people are seeing two completely different realities. So I could tell people are sitting in the audience like what is he? Is he right? Is he left?

What’s going on here? I can’t laugh because I don’t know where he’s at. And I think that’s horrible for comedy. When I was a teenager that goes straight or gay, but now it’s right or left, and I like to keep them both in the dark. We’re told by Fox News to reassure his audience that he’s on their side.

Mark Norman issues a disclaimer between bits at the start of his special. That disclaimer says, I should warn you guys. I will say some horrific stuff up here, but it’s all jokes, just fun, Norman told Fox News Digital people can get triggered by the very mention of a subject before it’s even clear where a joke is headed. So I wish people would just listen, and I have to give them the disclaimer, like I’m gonna talk about these triggering things, but it’s all above bored, it’s all silly. It’s always humor.

Mark continued, I hate that everything’s political and it’s not like it used to be. Political talk used to be boring and for nerds, hey hey, hey no no no no, no, no, no, no no. Johnny Mack produced a lot of political talk radio in the nineties. It was not boring, and I was not a nerd. Might be a nerd now, but it was not boring and I was not a nerd.

It was a lot of fun. Mark Norman said, you know there’s some guy like, can you believe what’s going on in Kusovo? And you’re like, shut up, you dork. We’re trying to have a drink. But now it’s front and center.

It’s big part of the culture. So I just want to be a comedian, you know, I don’t want to be a pundit, but I do feel like if you pick aside, your career goes better. Tim Dillon, I know he didn’t say Tim Dillon. I misread that. Sorry and Shell.

No, No, it doesn’t say and Shell’s either. Sorry. I did my script jumped. I’m trying to read here, and I was scrolling down and I thought, it’s that Andrewscheltz doesn’t That was just ignore all that. Some other things he talked about late night TV late nights aren’t what they used to be.

No offense. He doesn’t like predictable jokes. He says. I think what bothers me from a comedian standpoint is they’re all telling the same joke. It’s like the same Trump jokes over and over.

I don’t care if you’re bashed Trump, but be original. So I think that late night maybe another reason it’s dying no offense boy, A lot of no offense here is because people want that authentic experience. I think now crowd work clip, you know, just calling a fat guy, it has way more views than a fallon clip. Sadly, the world has slipped on that one point eighty completely. Norman talked about his podcasts, which are just entertainment.

He says, I don’t want to be saving the world. I don’t want to be an activist. I don’t want to give tips on comedy or comedy lecture. It’s just full of jokes, what’s on the news, what’s going on in the world, and just silliness and levity. Keep it light.

Eight amen, brother, Oh we are longed here. M I timewise. I want to bump this one, but I know where I’m heading on comedy stock market because so I kind of have to do this one. The New York Times, did you hear me? I said that?

The New York Times, The Times of New York. The New York Times has an article titled who designed Chris Fleming’s purple bodysuit? We’re told Chris Fleming’s purple jumpsuit with its removable sleeves. It’s made from a high end Scoopa fabric that not only stretches, but is also durable enough to be put in a washing machine. When the comedian Chris Fleming, I like how they says when the comedian Chris Filming, and not when comedian Chris Fleming or when Chris Fleming.

When the comedian Chris Fleming interesting first met with the designer and stylist Anthony Sartino, he brought a couple of reference photos Patrick Swayze, the mouse King from The Nutcracker, a feather squatted Elton John and Michael Flatley from Riverdance. Mister Sartino’s reaction he said, oh, no, no, no, no, that’s not what I had in mind at all. Fleming said, I kind of have a rule about no jumpsuits, but Sartino persisted. Sartino explained, I like to do my research. He’s stumbling all over, he’s running, and I’m thinking, okay, four way stretch jumpsuit.

The jumpsuit is fitted through the body with a wide band at the waist like a discrete compermund and a high collar. There are glitterally embellishments at the small the back, and then on the cuffs of the sleeves, which zip off at the shoulder. The removable sleeves allow mister Fleming to perform what he refers to as a prudes burlesque, while also preventing him from overheating on stage. The color and eggplant purple is also intentional. It stands out against the crimson red of the curtains behind mister Fleming at the Canillac Palace theater where the special was taped.

Purple also evokes the musician Prince, and for good reason. From twenty three to twenty thirteen, Certino worked with Prince, helping to create Prince a suit for the Super Bowl halftime in two thousand and seven. In fact, it was all that that prompted Chris Fleming. Sorry, mister Fleming, this is at the Times of New York again. Mister Fleming, who describes himself as a massive Prince fan, to reach out to the designer via Instagram DM.

Mister Fleming said, the way Prince wears clothes, it’s just astonishing. He described Prince’s look as being quitt, essentially stadium rock, but also something you could see him sitting cross legged, not a chase lounge wearing. Oh we are going so long here, but I have to do this. There’s more, by the way, You know how all week I’ve been on my soapbox about everybody’s an insider, right right, Nikki Glaser, Robbie Hoffman, you would think Robbie Hoffins an outsider. No, not at all.

Robbie Hoffins at the Vanity Fair Oscars party. Well, apparently, I just want to remind you. Right now, I’m reading you from an article in The New York Times about Chris Flemings design, and we’re not done yet. Chris Fleming insider. Everybody’s an insider.

No one’s an outsider. The New York Times tells us, no matter where mister Fleming is, mister Sartino makes sure the entire matches the situation for mister Flemings headlining performance at Carnegie Hall. Sartino design would Fleming referred to as bird Armor, a black feathery bolero that’s for a crispy tailored white shirt based on the photo of Elton John that mister Fleming showed him during that first meeting. Fleming said, Honestly, you walk out there and you have the same feeling of unease that you feel at a really wealthy person’s holiday party. And Tony knew that I was thinking I was going to take that bird Armor off, but I needed the whole time to make it through that gladiator fight of performing at Carnegie Hall again.

Let me ask you, have you ever been to a really wealthy person’s holiday party. I’m thinking about it, a really wealthy person’s holiday party. I don’t think I have been. The only comp that comes to mind is I’ve been to Joan River’s apartment on Fifth Avenue. That was pretty nice.

Joan made some iced tea for me. I found myself in Las Vegas one year at a porn star’s party, which that’s a whole story in itself, and the party a lot more boring than you to think. Not that I was looking for excitement, but you know, if you’re like, oh, was there all like sex and drugs and booze? No, it’s just people standing around like any other party. In case you’re a newer listener, I live clean, so I wasn’t looked for sex or drugs or booze.

I’ll have a beer, maybe two trivia. That’s about it. Johnny mclis clean. I digress. How long is this article?

Yeah? I’m kind of done with this, but you know I can’t. I can’t wrap up with me just going how long is this article?

And then there’s break?

So I got to give one more quote. Chris Lemming said, I feel like I’m stepping into something and accepting something about visibility, and my relationship with Tony couldn’t have come at a better time. Comedy stock Markets, thank you, Burt Reynolds. Comedy stock Market every Friday. What we do is we take a look at where the value is.

So we’re not saying someone’s good, we’re not saying someone’s bad. We’re looking at where the value is. Like a stock. Like you know, there was a time where you probably wish he had bought bitcoin, and now there’s a time you wish you had sold your bitcoin like that, but different Heloton, that’s another example, you know, that kind of thing. So where is the value in comedy?

Before I get into the stock picks per se, I’ve been wondering all week if you guys, I just think I’m in a mood. I’m actually in a great mood, but I do feel like I’ve been a little punchy this week and it’s coming out on the air as they say, I don’t know, feeling my oats, being a little uncensored. On the Substack, I took a shot at Travis Kelcey. That was a smart thing to do. The Substack is my free newsletter about the media.

You’ll find that in the show notes. Sorry, Comedy stock Market, I got some cells this week we’re gonna sell, all right. First one we’re gonna sell is Chris Fleming. John, you’ve been all about Chris Fleming. I know, but this is about value.

My friends. I’m still all about Chris Fleming. But listen to me. Hear me out, Okay, stay with me here. Love Chris Fleming.

Chris Fleming hilarious. But it was cool when it was weird. Now Chris Fleming is establishment. Chris Fleming is being profiled about his fashion in the New York Times. That’s not cool anymore.

Now that’s whatever the opposite of cool is. It’s like when you go you know, when you went to see your favorite band in the village, it was cool, and then one day they’re playing the football New Jersey. It’s not as cool. So we can love them, but it’s time to sell Chris Fleming while the value is high. While the casuals are reading about his purple print suits in the New York Times.

We got to sell our Chris Fleming cash out. We did good money this last month. But that’s the comedy stock market again. We love Chris Fleming. But we’ve peaked value, cash out sell your Chris Fleming got another sell for you, Burt Kreischer.

Now here’s why I study this stuff. I read the tea leaves. I see which way people are trending. Here’s what you probably don’t know. On opening Day, when baseball is on Netflix, you know who they’re gonna have on their coverage, Burt Krescher.

I understand why Netflix likes that idea. I understand totally why Burt Krascher likes that idea. I think there’s a version of Burt Krescher that would be very happy just being Pat McAfee. But all that adds up to me thinking people are going to tune in to watch the baseball game and finding Burt Krescher really annoying. I just feel like Burt every now and then I feel like it can needs to just disappear for a while, and I feel like Burt needs to just like disappear for wat.

It’s a little too much. Bert, love you, but it’s a little too much. We’re gonna sell our Burt Kreischer. All right, Johnny Mack, you’re so negative. Don’t you want us to buy anything?

Yes, let’s buy even more Pete Holmes because see, because I actually paid the ten dollars to watch the special and talk to Pete Homes three weeks ago when I forgot that, everybody else is waiting for the YouTube drop, which is on Tuesday the twenty fourth, which means we’re probably gonna see more Pete Holmes press and then people are gonna be like, wow, I really like Pete Holmes, and they’re gonna remember how much we all love Pete Homes and Pete Holmes is fantastic, and please listen to the interview on this program. I guess it’s two Saturdays ago at this point, maybe three, but you know the episode’s titled Pete Holmes. You’ll find it. So I feel like people are gonna be like, oh, yeah, Pete Holmes love them. So let’s buy some Pete Holmes.

Let’s buy some Mark Normand I saw Dylan in the Facebook group as that special as is number one if I read correctly, really quickly, So yeah, we’ll buy some Mark Norman and let’s buy some snl Uk. I feel like they’re gonna nail it well now in forty eight hours, all right, So that’s the Rex this week. Sell Chris Fleming, Sellberg Kreischer, Buy snl UK, buy Mark normand by Pete Holmes at your Comedy stock Market. Carol Leafer is sticking up for dogs. Here’s what happened.

The American Kennel Club announced the most popular dog breeds of twenty twenty five, which put French bulldogs at number one for the fourth year in a row. Here’s the issue. Carol doesn’t like The American Kennel Club is promoting a breathing impaired breed. She did a few videos for PETA. In one of them, Carroll Leafer is dressed up as your two Packaday Aunt Doris in a bright red wig and tropical moomoo, and Aunt Doris struggles to breathe as she blows up a busted air mattress to mimic the painful, labored breathing of a flat faced dog.

Leifer explains, as vets have described it, every breath these dogs take, it’s like breathing through a small straw. She also did a more serious PSA to talk about the what they’re calling the torture breeding industry that intentionally breeds dogs to have extreme features such as flattened snouts, flatt and snouts. Distored airways, shortened lives and cause the dogs to pant, snort, wheeze and struggle for air. Leefer explains every French bulldog photo on Instagram should come with a disclaimer warning may cause lifelong vet bills. Breeders cash in on the look, and the dogs and their guardians pay for it literally.

Many countries, including Austria, Germany, the Netherlands and Norway, have banned or restricted the breeding of some are all breeding impaired breeds. It’s illegal in the US. Carol Leifer says as long as there’s money to be made, selling, showing and breeding dogs, breeders will continue to produce more, regardless of how much they cause dogs to suffer in the process. Johnny Mac agrees, adopt, don’t shop right now at the shelter right by your house. There’s an awesome dog.

I’ve got two shelter dogs upstairs and they’re fantastic. I’ve had shelter dogs for every day of my life since nineteen eighty one. And that is your comedy news for today. Normal episodes on the weekend, I had pre tape them in advance. I had to accommodate some travel today, but we’ll get into, among other things, Jay Leno’s Rush Moore of comedy.

All right, you’re enticed, right, that’s worth listening to, so normal episodes all weekend. I hope you have a great weekend, and I’ll meet you back here tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media Scrub, Season ten, episode five, My Angel Original air day, March eighteenth, twenty twenty six. Hi, I’m Johnny Mack and I was freaking out because I couldn’t find the session that I use for the Scrubs episodes. I use the same template every week. You know, it’s got the music that you hear fading behind my voice there and it makes my life a littleisia. And I couldn’t find it.

And the reason I couldn’t find it is I have now discovered this session is called Scubs. That’s why I wasn’t coming up in search. I liked this episode a lot. It was the first of the reboots that my wife and I watched separately. She was doing something earlier and gave me the go ahead to go watch it.

She texted me around ten o’clock and was like, was Scrubs good? Yes, it was good. I was very enthusiastic about this one. Not the funniest episode of all time, but I really like the character beats and even the newer characters. They’re you know, they’re finding their own the are figuring out what this version of Scrubs is still not renewed, What is going on there.

All right, Here’s what happens. JD is ready to start dating again. Turk is telling him to get back out there, and JD runs into Lily, who plays Harp in the lobby. They hit it off. The chemistry’s booming.

JD wants to go for it, and Turk’s like, yo, time out. You’re the chief of medicine. You can’t date employees. Good advice from Turk. Plus, we all know that Doctor Park played by Joelkim Booster, whose character is back this week.

I like that character. It’s kind of poor man’s Doctor Cox. He speaks to the interns the same way Cox did, but he also wants to take down JD because JD has the job that Doctor Park wants. So he’s a good antagonist. And I’d like Joel Kim Booster since I saw him.

I think it was twenty fifteen in New Phases in Montreal, so I like Joel Anyway, Turk’s like, you can’t go there. The two have a little bit of chemistry. Turk’s saying no, no, no, But then Turk finds out she’s a volunteer and there’s no rules against dating a volunteer, so he calls JD up and gives JD the green light. JD and lil are at a date at Lloyd’s Tevern. Now, I don’t know if it’s actually been called Lloyd’s Tavern on screen yet.

I know in the articles and the interviews the creators told us that they named it Lloyd’s Tavern, But has that actually been said? Maybe I missed it. JD orders an apple teeny. Lily tells JD the deal. We’re having one drink and then we’re having sex.

They go back to her place and we find out that I’ll describe it the way did you watch How I Make Your Mother? Barney talked about the hot crazy scale. We find out that Lily is above the line. Lily throws JD onto her bed and asks him a choker. JD’s like, it’s a little nun, It’s not really my thing.

He looks to the side of the bed and he sees a pizza box, and that triggers a flashback. And this is the creator’s nailing this understanding what this show is understanding the characters. The pizza box triggers a flashback to season one episode fifteen, My Bed, Banter and Beyond, and in season one episode fifteen, JD and Elliott are in bed eating pizza. It becomes clear JD’s not ready to date again. He’s not over Elliot.

The voiceover tells us I was lying here beneath this beautiful woman, and I actually felt nothing. Next we see him riding shotgun in a car. He says, sorry about this. It’s just the last time he was with somebody, and we met something and I after a divorce, and now guys are supposed to go out and hook up like crazy, but I think I need a little time. We find out the person he’s apologizing to isn’t Lily, it’s Turk, who picked him up.

As bros, do code of the guys. If your buddy calls you and goes I need a ride, don’t ask questions, just do it.

Meanwhile, Elliott had her own plot.

There’s a patient who needs a new liver. Elliott’s trying to help her with that. We get into the medicine part of the show. In the end, the new liver arrives delivered by an organ transplant pilot of some sort, and he happens to be a good looking fellow, and we see that Elliott thinks he’s good looking and they walk off together, and who happens to be coming down the hall at that moment, JD, and he sees Elliott being into another dude, and we see that JD looks sad, just a wonderful All the emotional beats really good in this episode. As Elliott walks down the hall with the pilot, we hear JD’s Now, only the heart knows when it’s ready to let someone in again, But sometimes the heart just needs a little more time to heal.

Sarah Chalk was on Michael Rosenbaum’s podcast Fun Fact. Michael Rosenbaum was my intern. Now I haven’t seen Michael since he was my intern, but we have a mutual friend and Michael claims to remember me. I don’t know. He was Mike the Intern.

But here’s the thing I always remember about Mike the Intern. He was always going to go to Hollywood. He would talk about it when I was like, hey, can you make copies of Today’s rundown. He was on a mission to go to Hollywood and become an actor, and he did it. So I respect Mike the Intern aka Michael Rosenbaum, whose guest was Sarah Chalk, who plays Elliot on Scrubs.

She talked about the new set and said it was quite surreal stepping onto the set, first of all, stepping onto a set where you spent your entire twenties and then you’re stepping on twenty five years later. I can’t quite explain what that felt like, especially since we shot in this abandoned hospital in the valley and that got torn down and now they’ve rebuilt the sets, and we knew that was happening, but we kind of thought, ah, it’d be pretty accurate, like maybe there’d be sixty seventy percent like sets were, and they were exactly the same, like to a t, everything was identical. It felt like this weird kind of time warp because it’s the same character, the same people on the exact same set in the writing, and I had kind of thought it was going to take him ant a step back into it. What was weird was how natural it felt. It’s part of your cells, it’s part of your bones, that’s the inside of you.

Podcast often to grab that one and then this really doesn’t have anything to do with Scrubs, but I couldn’t get it into the regular podcast. During the week, it’s been a pretty busy week, So why don’t I do it here? Zach Braff has denied he’s in a relationship with an AI. Yeah, exactly. This keeps coming up, and Zach now took to Instagram to deny that he is in a relationship with an AI, specifically an AI chatbot, which Zach Braf is not involved with.

Apparently it turned up on one of these gossip websites. Zach said, I had no idea until tonight because I’m not on TikTok that these folks were the origin of this. I felt like now is a good time to be kind of the people. You would think that would make it go away. But the denial of a romantic involvement with an AI chatbot has been covered by Cosmopolitan, The Cut, BuzzFeed, People, Just Jared, Entertainment Weekly, Page six, The Independent, The Rap, USA Today, The Sun, Hello Magazine, Metro, The New York Daily News, dek Stero, The Daily Mirror, Vulture, Gizmoto, and Daily Comedy News.

So to be clear, Zach Braff is not dating an AI chatbot. Scrubs episode five, I liked it a lot back in the morning with a normal episode

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, the daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. A sentence, the algorithm loves I suspect Before we’re done here today, the robovac is going to go off and my dog is going to lose his mind and bark. We’ll see if that happens. Why wouldn’t edit that out, John, because that’s not fun.

Jelly Roll’s wife has apologized to Bert Krascher. Yeah, what’s all that about? Well, you see, Jelly Roll’s wife, Bunny, was sharing raw footage of herself getting a facelift. In a video, we see her in a hospital gown with markings all over her face before going under the knife. The footage then cuts to surgery, and then we see her swollen face wrapped in bandages.

She joked, I look like Bert Kraser.

Now here’s the issue.

When she posted that she comes in peace, she had no idea that Bert’s tour bus had caught fire. So people are like, hey, that’s not cool. But then Bunny was like wait what She explained, I was asleep when the Burt bus happened. I’d never make fun of my friend’s sadness. I was meaning because I’m red and my eyes are swollen.

So to my boy Bert Krascher, we love you.

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Meanwhile, Kevin Hart not happy with his newest wax likeness.

Kevin Hart posted on Instagram, WTF let’s see four t’s and five f’s. There’s a wax statue that shows a Kevin Hart like figure wearing a gold chain and leather jack with outstretched arms. Kevin Hart wrote, I know that ain’t Kevin Hart. This is an attack. Who the F is this?

At this point? These museums are just trying to make me cry. This has to stop. I demand a redo. Damn it.

This has gone viral as people on social media are debating who it actually looks like. Dwayne the Rock Johnson he wrote, It’s perfect, don’t change a thing. I’m excited about this. A documentary about Ralphie May. I knew Ralphie was awesome people.

One time I drove around, well, he drove around Los Angeles with me riding shotgun. We went to get his car detailed and why were they detailing the car? We got Mexican food. He’s awesome.

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Also, when I was out of power.

It’s serious and kind of unde employed. He still he still return calls and did me a solid favor. Not everyone did such things back in those days. I only have great things to say about Ralphie May, so I’m excited for Come What May, A new documentary about Ralphie May, set to premiere in Los Angeles this April as part of a theatrical rollout in partnership with The Laugh Factory. Directed by Dave Gantz and Ralphie May’s wife, Alana Turner.

The theatrical run kicks off at the Landmark Sunset in LA on April twenty eighth. Lana Turner will be there. The documentary will then tour Las Vegas, Houston, Dallas, Nashville, and Phoenix. They’re also working on some East Coast stops. Lana Turner said, making this film has been a deeply personal journey, and it’s finally time to let it go and share with Ralphie’s fans and the world at large.

Ralphie loved being on the road, and this releases that perfect opportunity for him to go on one last tour. The doc has rare and raw archival footage of Ralphie may some interviews with friends and colleagues. It captures Ralphie at the best and the worst of times. Ralphie passed away in twenty seventeen, aged forty five. Good guy.

I miss him. I think of him a lot. Kid Rock is not happy with Conan O’Brien. You may recall on the Oscars Conan and O’Brien said tonight could get political and if that makes you uncomfortable, there’s an alternate oscars being hosted by Kid Rock. It’s at the Dave and Busters down the street.

Well, Kid Rock did not find that as funny as I do. Kid Rock on social media wrote, I love a good joke, even when I’m the butt of it. Unfortunately this was not a very good one.

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Now let’s take that at face all right, let’s take a look at the joke today.

I could get political and if that makes you uncomfortable, there’s an alternate oscars being hosted by Kid Rock. I think that’s a good joke. It’s the tag that I think is weak. The tag is it’s at the Dave and Busters down the street. I think the tag is weak, and I’m not even sure the joke needed the tag, or perhaps an alternate tag would have told us what channel it was on, and you could have picked some ridiculous cable channel on which it was airing.

But the joke then I could get political. And if that makes you uncomfortable, there’s an alternate Oscars being hosted by Kid Rock. I think that’s a perfectly fine joke. Kid Rock would like you to know either way, if you want to see a real good show this spring slash summer that celebrates America and two hundred and fifty years of freedom, make sure you buy your tickets from uugh Ticketmaster from my Freedom two point fifty tour hyphen the Road to Nashville. Mister Rock then added, there’s a reason for this.

Trust me, trust me in all caps with an exclamation point.

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Speaking of Conan O’Brien, John you never talk about him.

I know. The ninety eighth Annual Academy Awards drew seventeen point eighty six million viewers on ABC and Hulu. Now you’re like, is that a good number? Is that a bad number? It depends who you ask.

Oscar haters, Conan haters like, that’s a terrible number because it’s down nine percent from last year’s nineteen point seven million viewers, which had been a five year high for the telecast. If you listen very closely now, the noise reduction will cut it down. And because I’m in the basement and the dog isn’t the dog is indeed barking at the vacuum as predicted, it’s set to go at three pm Eastern, and now it’s going on. The doggies barking. And why didn’t I turn the vacuum off or do something about it?

Because, as I like to say, that’s not fun. So if you listen very very closely, you’re gonna hear dog. And I’m leaving it in. The Oscars averaged a three point ninety two rating among adults eighteen to forty nine, down from last year’s four fifty four, up from twenty twenty four to three eighty two. Despite this year’s dip, the Academy Awards is the number one primetime entertainment telecast of the season, according to Disney.

And why would they make that up? Do you like movies? Do you like movies about gladiators? Have you been to an AMC theater? Well, Jonathan Kite has been doing these wonderful, wonderful Anthony boardein impression pieces on Instagram that I cannot get enough of, and Jonathan Kite as Anthony Bourdain recently released a deleted clip in which fake Anthony Bourdain went to the AMC theaters.

Let’s listen, how does Hollywood get asses in seats with crossover chaos? Barbenheimer glicked Doonsday, But my favorite was when Saw ten and Paw Patrol opened on the same day, giving us Saw Patrol. Those puppies didn’t stand a chance, but according to receipts, they killed. Jimmy Kimmel is firing back at a Newsmax host after said host suggested that federal regulator should step in to discipline Jimmy Kimmel’s show, Yes You See, Kimmel criticized the President of the United States proposed Save Act, which would require documentary proof of US citizenship to vote. Newsmax’s host Rob Schmidt argued that ABC’s late night show should face federal consequences for airing political commentary.

Schmid said that is not a comedy show, that is propaganda. He added that ABC breaks the law every single night and that the network should learn a lesson. I’d be curious to know his opinion on how ABC is breaking along the night’s Kimmel’s not on, like on Saturday, what are they doing to break the law. I’m just curious, just asking questions. I’m not saying they do, not saying they’re don’t.

I’m just curious as to his opinion on how they break the law when Jimmy’s not on. Kim Will responded said, they’re so worried about cancel culture until I come on, and then they’re like, cool, the FCC. He’s bringing the law. How does this not embarrass them? Kimmel then referenced Newsmax’s sixty seven million dollars settlement with Dominion Voting Systems over false election claims, quoting Kimmel the channel he’s on Newsmax.

I don’t know if you see. They’re literally on a payment plan right now, switching the channel over to CBS. Radar Online suggests that they’re turning Stephen Colbert into a non person. Colbert will be on the air until May twenty first, sooner than you might think. That’s coming up pretty quickly, but according to Radar Online, photos of Stephen Colbert have been quietly removed from the network’s broadcast center on West fifty seventh Street, when insider said, it’s like he was never there, like the Late Show never existed at all.

Another source said, that’s the clearest signal it’s truly over. A network insider confirmed there will be no send off. We’re told CBS is not planning and will not pay for any farewell party. Network insider says, if the staff wants something, it’s on them. Don’t forget to vote for Comedy Survivor Still on the Island.

John Mulaney, Sebastian Manascalco, Sarah Silverman, Nikki Glaser, Leslie Jones, and otsco At Coonska. One vote per person. You’ve gotten until end of day today. A lot of activity in the Facebook group which is Daily Comedy News Podcast group. But I don’t want to steer at you guys decide.

I just report, but just as a quick skim, it looks like anybody scheme Comedy Survivor Daily Comedy News podcast group. There were more podcast awards. As a podcaster and a media executive, I can’t take these seriously. There’s podcast awards twice a week, maybe three times a week. This time was the iHeart Podcast Awards, which I didn’t even know was happening, and then all of a sudden, I go on pod news, which is the industry newsletter.

James Kridlin, great guy in real life, does a great job with the newsletter. Happy birthday, James. We learned from pod news that Will Ferrell kicked off the show. You know if you listen just I mean, there was a time when Will Ferrell was pretty funny. It’s just like a ready because everything he does is just so Will Ferrell.

Will Ferrell kicked off the show in full Team USA speedskating gear as he joked to the crowd full of quote, a few of his peers and many of his admirers that he almost made the team for the twenty twenty six Winter Olympics. Hilarious, people are still laughing. He then introduced to your host, who was egg uotam Ego, welcome the audience and talked about the importance of podcast and reminded the audio audience not to peak the mics. Peak distortion is when you ride the microphone levels too hot. As I teach my college students, if you give me bad audio, I’ll take low over distort at any time.

It’s really hard to undistort low. You can boost, but there are issues with boosting low audio. I’m not going to teach you an entire college class now. I do fifteen weeks of this at the college. Trust me, don’t peak your audio anyway.

We’ll focus on the comedy parts of this. Eliza Slessinger was there. She presented Podcast of the Year two the winners, Giggly Squad with Anna Berner and Page Desorbo. Congratulations to those guys, and the folks said, but my brother, my brother and me, is that the name of that podcast? They won Best ad Read?

No. Normally, Best ad Read almost always goes to Conan O’Brien. I don’t know if con has submitted or not to Maybe people have had it with this Conan O’Brien fellow, who knows? And I could use one more store. I have a lot.

I bumped a few things here. Let’s do this one. Jerry Seinfeld’s car was auctioned off for a world record price. Was Jerry Seinfeld’s former Mercedes Benz five hundred E. It’s sold for three hundred and twenty thousand dollars.

Bought new by Jerry Seinfeld in nineteen ninety two. The car has covered here. I’ll let you guess it’s been thirty four years. How many miles? I’ll answer at the end.

How many miles do you think Jerry Seinfeld’s Mercedes Binz drove in thirty four years? How many miles in thirty four years? Now, as you know, enthusiasts say the five hundred E is in a sense half portie because the V eight Sinan’s wider body complete with a two point two inch flarre at front fenders. Say that five times and make an edit. I did.

Those couldn’t be produced on the regular I really did stufblow that line five times, leaving it Those couldn’t be produced on the regular Mercedes production line in a big long German wordtown. Instead, assembly took place at Porsche’s facility and other big long word germantown. That unusual Mercedes Porsche collaboration, combined with the model’s durability and everyday usability, has made the five underd D a highly coveted collector’s car. Jerry bought the car new in ninety two. He kept it until twenty sixteen.

How many miles? Johnny mac all right, you ready? Two thousand, three hundred and thirty five miles? And that is your comedy news for today. I’ll see you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. A sentence The Algorithm loves SNL is coming to the UK this Saturday. Your first host on SNL UK will be Tina Fay. Pretty good choice.

Some people are surprised they went with an American host, but I don’t think you can argue that Tina Fay doesn’t know how to do SNL. So you know, sometimes the correct move is go right down the middle, and why goof around the first impressions make a big deal. Tina Fey good at SNL knows how to host, Sure, Dna Fay, why not? Musical guests, English band wet Leg Season one is only six episodes. We know that.

On March twenty eighth, Jimmie Dornan will host April fourth, Riz Ahmed and we’re going to talk about him later we’ll host. Dornan will be joined by musical guest Wolf Alice and Casbian will be on the Riz Ahmed Show. SNL UK will air at ten pm local time on Sky one and the streaming service known as Now. If you’re in the US and you want to watch, you have to wait until the next day. That’s fine.

I watch SNL on Sunday anyway, It’ll be on Peacock in the US. SNL UK episodes are seventy five minutes. Interesting number, The Guardian wrote, how could this be anything other than funny? They profiled the behind the scenes. Maybe someday someone will make a movie of all this, the Guardian tells us.

For the past four weeks, eleven performers and twenty writers have been spending every weekday together in this very building, which apparently is a boardroom in West London’s television center. They’ve been hashing out premises for skits. Do we like the word skits? I think we like the word sketches over here more than skits workshopping each other’s material and finding the alchemy. Writer Graham Maguire says, since Lockdown, it feels like British comedy television has been slowly atrophying.

A huge opportunity like this is so exciting, The Guardian tells us the SNL model seems unthinkably luxurious. On that side of the pond, where sitcoms are often written by just one person and writer room jobs are pretty much non existent. Is my delivery very Colin Jost today. Every time I’m finishing a freeze, I feel like I’m putting a Colin Jost’s spin on it, and I’m not trying to do that, The Guardian says. When they ask cast member Al Nash how he’s getting in the zone, he thuds a copy of Live from New York, Tom Shells and James Andrew Miller’s eight hundred page oral history of SNL down on the table, and he says, some of us like to do our research.

Follow up question was what inside have you gained? The answer, I actually haven’t started reading it yet. That’s hilarious. Showrunner James Longman says, Lauren Michaels keeps saying things to me like just get it on air. How do they choose the cast, he says, we were looking for the funniest people.

We didn’t go in for name recognition. The cast range from twenty six to age thirty six. There was not an age limit. One element being carried over from the US’s Weekend update, Good thing Tina Fey is there this weekend. I’m looking forward to watching that one.

I Meanwhile, in the United States, of America. We have our own Saturday Night Live at Arizon Saturday Nights Long. I’ve at eleven thirty and on the most recent episode, Marcelo Hernandez busted out his Sebastian Maniscalco impression again. Sebastian is campaigning hard to get booked on SNL. Man He posted on Twitter, I’ve been on SNL twice now, which sounds impressive until I tell you neither time was as the host.

At this point, Harry Styles and Marcelo Hernandez have locked more rehearsal time as me than I have. Both of them were hilarious and absolutely nailed it. Maybe the third time I come in and do it as myself campaign campaign campaign. A lot of people really liked this impression that Marcelo Hernandez does. As I said in the past, he does one thing, and he does one thing well, and arguably he does two things.

But I here, let’s listen to it. I’ll talk about the case yourana. Listen to me. For my client to get out of that store, he would have had the June Collar security Gullar. Then they got delases everywhere, so my client would have had the Tom Cruise.

That okay, and then they got the sensors. You know about the censor Jarana, They’re about this thought of sensus. They tell you you got something you’re not supposed to have. So Mike Client what I had to grab the shoes and the bell and the jack and hold it above his head and go like that. So either Mike Client is not upid or he belongs in the alumpics.

The defense rests. I agree. I mean, it’s okay. Now I’m only playing the audio, so you’re not getting the physical aspects. He does it very very animated, which I’m not entirely sure where that’s coming from.

It’s a good character, but it’s not like the most amazing impression. And if you’re like Jenny Mack, you just don’t find Marcello or Hernan is funny. You’re you’re not being fair. Well you might be right, but as evidence that the impression is nothing special, let me present to you Harry Styles. This is crazy.

You’re all just captivated by the way Sebastian Anna Scalco is talking like what if I talk like that? Eron, This guy took the close and he walked right out of school. He got the security footage to lat them, so ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Yea, I yes, why. Would do that?

Moving on now, if you want to hear a really good impression, Jeremy Colhane broke out Tucker Carlson impression on Weekend Update, and it was fantastic. Let’s listen, let’s all. Go to the movies. Huh? Really?

Yes, why don’t we grab some popcorn and watch American culture collapse? What are we doing? What’s going on? All right? Coming in hot?

Well, how do you feel about this year’s nominees? Where to even beacon? Oh? I know? Why don’t we talk about sinners?

That’s right, sinners? Because of course, leftist, woke America’s favorite movie this year is about sinning. Huh why does that not surprise me? No? Sorry, kids, we don’t go to church anymore.

We go to sinners. That’s the rule, that’s the goal. Now what are we doing? What’s going on? Okay?

All right, so you didn’t you didn’t like Sinners? You didn’t like sinners? What about Handnet? Oh? Hamnet?

Because we’re not allowed to say Hamlet anymore. No, no, took. The l and gave it to the GBTQ. So it’s Hamnet. Now what are we doing?

What’s going on?

Meanwhile?

We have a beef? Yeah? Did you catch it? On it? I just did the cone and yeah.

See that’s why illustrated that yesterday. Yeah, we have a beef. Did you catch the send up of the pit they did on usnl MA Hospital, Well, some people said the Daily Show did that already. Back on November twenty first, The Daily Show aired a promo for RFK Hospital, a fast paced medical drama about the only hospital brave enough to follow the advice of the medical Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Junior.

In that sketch, a doctor played by Michael Costa knows that medical science doesn’t have to be based on anything in particular, and in that sketch, the staff prescribed treatments such as raw milk, fecal matterbaths, and defluoridated water. In that sketch, Costa’s character reacts to news of a school bus full of children hitting a deer by saying, we can still save that deer meat now. The SNL version closes with RFK Junior, played by James Austin Johnson, rushing a dead bear into the er, hoping to salvage it’s meat. Hmmm. Michael Costa went on Instagram and Johnny mack loves a good beef.

He posted, watch the original that we released six months ago. He further commented, ridiculous. We are also reminded that on January fourteenth, Jimmy Kimmellive aired a sketch called Make America Healthy Again, in which Noah Wiley presented himself as not a real doctor who gave some medical advice inspired by RFK Junior. Hmm. Mark Norman’s special was out on Netflix, and you know there were Nicks and USA Baseball last night.

You know, I kind of wish Netflix would stop putting the comedy specials out on Tuesday. You would think Tuesday would be like a good night to just kick back and watch comedy special and it never is. And maybe it’s just because I live an old man mountain. Can you just put these things out on like Friday? Mark Norman was on Fox News and he said, what bothers him about comedy today is the presence of any finger wagging in comedy.

He said, imagine if a musician just came up put his guitar down, was like, let me tell you about iron in Israel, and you’re like, what about the music, sant up. Comedy is the only art for him that’s so subjective. You can kind of slip away from the comedy part because you’re holding a microphone and have a stool with a beer on it. Mark says comedy has become weirdly morality based. When I was a kid, you watch Blazing Saddles, Ready Murphy or whatever, and it was just like, the worst things are what you should lean in on.

He does not believe in shock for its own sake, and explain I think some people do that horribly and they just say a word without having a joke. I think as long as there’s always a joke, you can talk about anything. Everything’s on the table. And I think making horrible things funny is part of the job. So I say lean in.

But it’s got to be funny. That’s the key. It’s gotta have a laugh, and that’s the art form making it funny and getting away with it. I’ll pick it that a little bit more tomorrow.

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Meanwhile, Ready Steady Cut gave a Mark Special three and a half out of five …

They right. Mark Norman’s style has never really evolved, which is kind of the point. None too pleased, plays out like in All You Can Eat Buffet of Zingers, designed to be equally offensive to everyone, just as it should be. Norman isn’t quite a one liner comic, but he’s close, each argument, usually highlighting some kind of inherent hipocracy or drawing an out there comparison. Examples being an anatomical analogy for the Israel Palestine conflict, or OnlyFans being for men with the wnbas for women, or how being married is like being in the military and using that as an excuse to slip in an off color gag about classic taboo topics like Hitler or Nine to eleven.

They write The reason this works so well for Norman are varied, but the biggest one is that he’s good at it. The punchlines are offering cleverly put together and snuck in when you least expect them, and some of the core contradictions he highlights are just as stude enough to become interesting jumping off points. Cats are like Heroin addicts a couple of spoilers in there that I will skip, but they conclude with most people can laugh not just at others, but also at themselves. Bird Kreischer is gonna milk this bus story again. I’m glad everyone’s okay.

But like the whoever roasted him yesterday, now bird has two stories. Kreischer was on social media again, said all right, here’s everything you need to know about the bus. Both bus drivers said that never seen anything like it in their thirty five years. We waited for a couple hours and then we ditched the bus and got on the crew buses and drove in a seat of rapids. That morning, our bus caught fire on the road.

Everyone is fine, the bus driver, Dewey. He got out in time, he said, literally. The fire started in fifteen seconds. The front cabin was in flames. Here’s the good thing to know.

Had we slept on that bus, we’ve all been trapped in the back and be dead today. Yesterday, we would have been dead yesterday. God works in mysterious ways. So it was a blessing that we had to blow out. It was a blessing.

So today, as frustrated as you may get, everything is a blessing. God works in mysterious ways. The bus story pairs up with Netflix announcing that Free Bert got a season two renewal Bert will also be part of the Netflix as a Joe Comedy Festival, Kreischer, Sigora and Jelly Roll will do the Two Bears five K at the Rose Bowl on May ninth. At the festival, Bert is hosting Bert and Shak’s crowd Work show at the Comedy Store May eighth. I promised I would bring up this comment left in the Facebook group.

Lee has shot a nice note. He pointed out nicely, very nicely, that the fish that Steve Harvey was going after, even though it is spelled like you would pronounce it crappy, it’s actually pronounced crappy and tells me it’s a popular menu item for recreational fishermen. Thank you, Lee. I used to fish for snapper off Jon’s Beach over by the Coastguard station on its probably like ten years old. We just used worms.

No, we didn’t use worms. We would go get baitfish little bit. I don’t know what they’re called. Perhaps they’re called crappy. I don’t know these little baitfish we used to get.

They’re coming like a frozen pack. All the fishermen are like, yeah, city boy, we know you sound like an idiot, and I do sound like an idiot, So let’s move on. Jenny Mack. You never talk about Conan O’Brien or the oscars, and I know I really should bring it up more often. People were curious, Hey, Conan, I thought you said Trump’s not funny?

What was with the political jokes? Conan told Variety after the show, you have to use a common sense about what feels right. If you completely ignore it, you look like you’re living in a bubble, and I wouldn’t want to do that. You got to reflect on what people at home are thinking about, but also they want to be entertained, so you need to thread it. I always hope to try and do that.

Robbie Hoffman was at Vanity Fair’s oscar party. So in case you thought I was really digging in on Nicki Gleezer yesterday, Robbie Hoffman Hollywood insider. I know, Robbie Hoffman. You might look at Robbie Hoffan and be like, that’s not an insider. Oh, that’s an insider.

Robbie Hoffman special produced by John Mulaney and Robbie Hoffman’s at the Vanity Fair oscar party. Were you at the Vanity Fair oscar party? No, because you’re not a Hollywood insider. The entertainment industry is very, very insular if you pay attention anyway, We were told that Robbie Hoffman went on Instagram Stories to share that she had found a diamond watch on the floor of the Vanity Fair’s annual Oscars after party, which took place at the La County Museum Forard. Now let me ask you, listener, do you have a diamond watch?

Did you lose it at Vanity Fair’s annual Oscars after party? No, and no. Robbie Hoffman was there, and she posted an image of the watch and wrote, let it be known that I found a diamond watch on the floor of the Vanity Fair party. The watch appeared to be broken in pieces. Hoffman then followed up with another slide showing a security guard holding the watch, and she pointed out, obviously, I returned it to the LACMA security.

A third post showed an iPhone with a note typed out reading Robbie Hoffman found your watch and a blurred out phone number. Robbie wrote expect reward. We are told the thin, delicate watch appears to be from I’m going to butcher this because I’m a kid from Queen’s You can’t even get the name of a fish Raid Boucheron’s Vendome Milissaa collection. You nailed it, John, keep going all right? Well, we are told via the watch brand’s website.

Watch run from twelve one hundred and fifty dollars to thirty six nine. I mentioned rizam d at the beginning, and I said I would mention him later. It is now later, Amazon, What are you doing? All right? Amazon has made a quote unquote James Bond series.

Now, why don’t you guys just make James Bond. Here’s what James Bond is. He’s a good looking British man, walks in the office. He flirts with Monty Penny. He goes in and kind of yells at him for a little bit.

He goes over to q’s office, grabs some gadgets, has a cool car, meets a chick. There’s a guy who’s trying to kill him, usually as a gimmick. Then he meets another chick, then he defeats the bad guy. That’s James Bond. Anyway, they are making a show called Bait.

Why they would make Baits and not James Bond, You’d have to ask them. Baits was written by, created by, and stars Rizamed as Sha a struggling actor about to give up when he’s invited to audition for the role of James Bond. The six episodes follow Shaw over four days as he and his family and his best friend learn what it means to be an instant star. Shaw learns firsthand that while being considered for one of the biggest movie roles of all time makes them the center of attention, it also brings a lot of backlash. Here’s an idea, Let’s just make James Pond.

And that is your comedy news for today. I’ll see you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hi there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News at daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. A sentence I forgot to say when I recorded the Oscar Show Sunday Night. Today is a sequel to Monday’s Oscars recap, same kind of note. I’m gonna slow down a little bit and just take my time with the stories.

Part of it is I’m a little bit tired. It took me a long time to put together this show and also Palace Intrigue, the Royal Family show that I work on, and plus Sunday Night. I never really dialed down because I was keeping notes on the Oscars. Then recorded the show and with all the clips in there, it took me over an hour on the edit and I was laughing at one point the file was finally ready to be uploaded after post processing and all the stuff I do that I won’t bore you with. There was sixteen seconds left and I think it was a three point Nicks game, and they were announcing Best Film at the Academy Awards.

I’m like, why does all this have to happen at once? So I uploaded the file watch best Picture, and then got to enjoy the last six point two seconds of the next game and the next one Happy Saint Patrick’s Day. So there’s a lot of news. I’ve already got a full show for tomorrow. Some stuff we’re not going to get to today.

The New York Times wrote an article about comedians and the Epstein Files. Do I have your attention yet? Yeah, let’s see. The Daily Show seems to be a beef with Saturday Night Live. That’s fun.

I don’t have time today to get into Sebastian Maniscalco and Marcelo Hernandez. I don’t have time to get into the SNL Sucker Carlson impression. We’ll do that tomorrow. I don’t have time to tell you that Tina Fey is going to host SNL UK this weekend. I don’t have time to tell you Bert Krascher got a season two of Free Birt because we got to talk about the Oscars and Conan O’Brien.

I thought Conan was fantastic, and the Internet seems to disagree at points. We’ll get into that as well real quick. If you can’t get enough Conan, Bill Carter interviewed Conan on Late Night Er and I love that podcast because you got serious Conan. So it was a real discussion, which was great.

And then I was in a Conan mood and I tried to check out Conan on The Kelsey B…

Look, I know that show does well, but as I tell my college students, if you want to have a successful podcast, date Taylor Swift. Jason Kelsey has media skills. Travis Kelsey is awful at this and write this down. When he does retire from football, he will get a TV job and he’s going to be terrible at it. I couldn’t even listen to the Conan interview.

He’s one of those people that can’t get through an fing sentence without you know F and Curson you know F and it’s just, dude, what are you doing? Learn how to broadcast? And again, millionaire dating a billionaire. I’m a dude in a basement. I’m a loser.

He’s got Super Bowl rings, I get it, but he’s not good at broadcasting. On to the Oscars, Variety had a really nice piece they caught up with the producers. One of the questions is is Conan coming back now? They didn’t say that specifically, but Walt Disney Television’s Rob Mills, who’s the executive vice president, told Variety on Monday morning, Conan is host for life. Yes, he hasn’t even accepted yet.

He’s just being told. We’re assuming that was not a comedy bit. We’re going to treat it as if that was fact. Conan had joked during the telecast he would continue to host the show until went to YouTube, and mister Beast takes over was one of the versions of that joke. Mills said, sometimes these jobs are like fantasy camp, and it’d be working with Conan is always incredible.

I remember those, and he’s referring to the big produced open here. I remember those when he had special occasions or when he hosted things like the Emmy’s. He’d make these films and they were great. When it was the tenth anniversary of Late Night, he did one of those where he ran into the streets of New York and literally everyone’s following him. Was sort of similar to this bit.

He’s always done these films that are great and not also sort of reminded me of what Billy Crystal used to do, so it was great. It felt distinctly Conan but also distinctly Oscar. I think that’s fair. Next question, did Leonardo DiCaprio know that he was going to be asked to be a meme? The answer not at all, So forgive him for being a little confused on a first on how to react, but then he still figured out how to react.

How did it work with Matt Barry as announcer live from London? Why wasn’t he in Los Angeles? Good question? We are told, yes, Matt Barry was in London, and the technology is now point where there wasn’t a delay. Well, that’s impossible.

There’s still the speed of light. I don’t care what tech you have, there’s still the speed of light. I just asked chat GPT what’s the delay on broadcast from LA to London? The AI says for a live broadcast signal from Los Angeles to London, delay depends on the path satellite broadcast is about two hundred and eighty milliseconds one way, or roughly point five point six seconds round trip. Why the signal goes up to a geostationary satellite then back to Earth.

If you use fiber transmission, that cuts the delay to one hundred and twenty milliseconds, but then encoding and decoding ads time. So a typical modern IP broadcast delay is point three to one point five seconds total delay. Now, if that doesn’t sound like a lot, get into my field and try interviewing someone who’s in London while you’re in Los Angeles. So you will notice the delay because it’s like talking to somebody on the moon. You ask a question, there’s that slight pause, they answer, and what happens that you wind up talking to over each other.

So you have to be very disciplined to not go too fast and make sure the other person has spoken. And most things like that are best done not live, so that you can trim all the things. Tell you we’re gonna go slow and get into the weeds today. Did you stay before the very end after they said goodbye? There was another sketch spoilers for the movie One Battle after another.

If you haven’t seen it, hold your ears for a second. But the parody to the final scene from that movie, maybe I’ll just leave it there. Whatever happens at the end of the movie conan parody that I won’t tell you specifically what happens, so I didn’t ruin the movie not spoilers. But VERI was curious, since One Battle had just won Best Picture, did Conan film sketches for all of the films in case something else won Best Picture? We are told no, there were no alt end of show sketches.

The One Battle parody whatever ran even if Sinners had won. Okay, but what about the other eight films? Are you saying the others didn’t have a chance? What are you saying there?

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And then they asked Mills again, is Conan truly the host for life?

Mills said, as firm as whatever. You can look up whatever the firm thing is, it’s solid as oak. I hope Conan comes back. Anybody who’s been with a nearshot of me in the last twenty four to thirty six hours by the time you’re hearing this. I believe in having a professional host.

I though Kimel did a good job. I think Trevor Nooda does a good job. Always give me a pro who can keep the trains running. That’s the gig. If you could be funny on top of that, even better, keep Conan great.

If ConA gets the flu let camel, do it great. As I alluded to at the top, some people didn’t like the Oscars with Conan O’Brien the Daily Mail again UK tabloid, and they tend to be a little caddy. They wrote, it was supposed to be Hollywood’s biggest night, but between painful monologues from most Conan O’Brien, to boring results and one distasteful joke about the Holocaust, viewers were left thoroughly unimpressed by this year’s Oscars. Now, as I read that paragraph, I’m like, what was the Holocaust joke? And the Daily Mail let’s Johnny mcnow come on on, Gianni spark fury by joking about Schindler’s List being renamed Schindler’s Posted and a failed gag about movies being too long?

Is there really outrage about that joke? Really? Oh? Ryan struggled to rouse the room with awkward jokes about pedal files and the many awards largely felt at predictable winners. Then they got into they do this a lot in the British tabloids.

Some social media posts. One person wrote, the Oscar is a sort of a flop. I DK conan flop, awkward jokes from presenters, ugly ass stage. Yeah, I said it only saving this night is a sinner’s best picture. I’m not playing well.

Got bad news for you, sir, or madam. Radar Online headline was rotten humor. Conan O’Brien slammed over painful twenty twenty six Oscars opening monologue as host faces several awkward moments of silence. Yep, that’s true. It’s a tough room.

We’ve talked about that before this year’s Oscars, after last year’s Oscars, before last year’s Oscars. Every year. It’s a tough room. We all know that Conan knew that. Litsten to any interview last week except the one with the Kelsey Brothers where Travis Kelsey can’t go through one sentence without using an F bomb twice.

Radar Rights. After opening the show with a well received dig at Timothy Shallimy and the recent backlash over his controversial comments about ballet and opera, O’Brien seemed to quickly lose the crowd with an ill received gag linking nominated movies Hamnett and Pogonia to off brand lunch meat. Had a little bogonia around tense. Not sitting too well, the host said, to a muttered reaction. Reading the crowd.

O’Brien disappointedly added on the ride home, you’ll appreciate it. Later, he joked that F one received four nominations. F one did so well that they’re making a sequel. Caps lock. Another muted response, so, O’Brien, confess some of these I do for myself.

Relax, everybody, It was good if you’d like to hear these jokes. I pulled most of these. If you didn’t listen to Monday’s episode, they’re all in the first six minutes or so of Monday’s podcast. Radar Online also pulled online reactions. One person wrote, these Conan jokes are so bad.

Another complained not having a lot of fun right now. One person lamented, I can’t stand this Conan O’Brien anymore. Rotten humore. Let me count the o’s there in humor one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, nine, ten, oh’s in humor. A fourth person blasted Conan O’Brien’s absolutely feeble monologue.

Several awkward moments of silence from the audience after the jokes. The Irish star happy Saint Patrick’s Day. They seem to be a little gossipy. They talked about Conan on the Red carpet, They said, ConA looked dapper in a classic black seat while he took pictures alongside his wife, who stunned in a sleeveless dress. The late night host appeared to oblige photographers and stand for photos, but quickly was ready to wrap it up amid all the snaps.

When photographers kept calling his name, Conan appeared to get more antsy after his red carpet pictures came to close. He reportedly said go away before saying all done, seeming to be fed up with posing. According to lip reader n Jay Hickling, I’m not familiar with lip reader n Jay Hickling, but i have been following comedy for many, many years. I’ve never heard any such behavior out of Conan O’Brien. I’ve heard things about people.

I’ve never heard a negative word about Conan O’Brien. I’ve never heard anyone no love working with Conan O’Brien for Conan O’Brien, with Conan O’Brien, So that would surprise me, although if it did happen, to be fair to ConA O’Brien, he did kind of have to go inside to host the Oscars, and you might want to get your head into that space. This article as well goes to social media. By the way, sidebar I talked about this, maybe it was on Saturday Show about how sometimes you just sit down and do a show and you find a through line. I didn’t set out to do the reads the way that I’m doing them today, and you kind of stumble into something that’s working and you go with it.

That’s the beauty of doing this every day. Sidebar over. Fans on Twitter were quick to react to Conan’s interaction with those photographers. One wrote, ConA being the most confused man in Hollywood while simultaneously being the most talented person in every room he wants into is my favorite gender hashtag oscars. Someone else wrote, Conan O’Brien looks sharp tonight out of his classic, stylish and totally red carpet.

Ready, I just checked the clock. We have a lot more to do, so this is going to be break at number one, and before we do that, if you like the program without commercial diruption, one thing you can do take out the Apple podcast app click that batter. It says uninterrupted listening, and then for five bucks a month, you don’t have to deal with this The L eight Times writes all heil Conan O’Brien, who could host the Oscars forever, and we wouldn’t mind. They write the question this year, as it is every year, is how this Oscar’s night was different from any other Oscars night. With Conan O’Brien returning his host, the ceremony was much in the spirit of twenty twenty five, except this was all at all livelier, funnier show.

Not perfect, of course, as the only program to ever occupy three hours of television without flagging was Sabato Chagante, But gag wise, the Oscar Broadcast is fundamentally a comedy with speeches. It’s hit to missus. Ratio was good or better than your average SNL episode. I think everything about that paragraph is perfect, and they write and they nailed this too. Conan O’Brien, whose persona is equal parts madness, sincerity, self love and self hate, would seem to be a perfect host for broadcast that needs to take things seriously, but not so seriously that it alienates anyone who doesn’t belong to the community at cele It’s a show that exists both in the world of Hollywood and the world outside the industry.

Well, well said Nikki Glaser gave the show a review, and my initial reaction to that was, who asked you? Well? The answer to who asked Nikki Glaser’s e news? But all right, suddenly we care what Nikki Glaser thinks about Conan O’Brien hosting the Oscars relaxed Golden Globes host Should we ask Joe Koy what he thought of Kimmel? Nikki Glaser was on the Gray carpet at the Vanity Fair Oscars party aka Hollywood has accepted her.

She’s now an insider. This all sounds like I’m shading Nikki. I’m not. I’m just analyzing the news here. Nicki gave Conan O’Brien an a plus.

She said he killed it last year. I knew he was gonna kill it again this year. I got a chance to see his monologue about a week ago and he got off stage, and I really meant it when I was like, that’s a plus. Changed nothing. But she did say Coonan did tweak some stuff.

She explains, things come out of the news cycle and they don’t work anymore, so you have to keep updating it. Wait, two Golden Globes that we’re treating her like she’s Billy Crystal. Now, Oh, I’m gonna I’m gonna throw up. He Knews relaxed with this. The stand up star also compared Conan’s work to her own hosting experience, noting that while the Golden Globes feels more like a comedy club, Oscar Night is a different room for comedy than any other.

She explains at the Academy Awards as a comedian, that’s a tough room because they’re far away. It’s very stuffy. They haven’t been drinking, they haven’t been eating. They’re hungry, and they’re tired, and they’re sober. So it’s a hard room to kill in.

Nicky felt. Conan rose to the occasion, adding with that a play I was like, God, he killed it. Thank you, Thank you, Nikki Glaser. Ricky Gervase was asked would he like to host the Oscars. Well, he can’t because it’s Conan’s job for life.

Ricky went on Twitter and responded to a fan account named the Ricky Gervay’s Clips. Fan account The Ricky Gervay’s Clips posted repost if you wish Ricky Gervaise was hosting the Oscars tonight, Jervase himself quote responded, writing, if that you may recall Ricky Gervay’s host of the Golden Globes in twenty ten, twenty eleven to twenty two, twenty sixteen, and twenty twenty. If you were at the Oscars you found snack boxes under your seats? Yeah? Hey, did you catch that?

That yeah thing? That is a total lift from Conan O’Brien that I subconsciously did. I’m not sure it’s subconscious. I might just do it, but I was listening to the edit and I caught myself do it. So what Conan will do is he’ll say something like the sky is blue, yeah, scientists say.

And as I was watching the Oscar Sunday night, I saw him do it. I pulled a clip where Conan does it. So in a second, I’m gonna play Conan doing it, and then I’ll go back to where we were before. I jumped in here. But just I heard the yeah move, and I just thought i’d jump in and comment on it.

I was in a movie this year, Yeah, I was in a movie. If you were at the Oscars you found snack boxes under your seats? Yeah, Conan O’Brien wrote a note that was found in your box, which also included a sketch of Conan O’Brien. The note read, and I hope you enjoy this Conan O’Brien moderately happy meal these snacks. It may not look like much, but in any movie theater that run you eighty five dollars.

Good luck tonight, have fun and remember that loud, enthusiastic laughters good for your health in my ego. The notes were addressed to dear nominee Slash plus one slash seat filler in the box, a bag of popcorn, a bottle of water, and either Mike and Ikes or Junior Mints. If guests were hungry, they could go to the lobby to grab some trail mix, and guests could also snack on dehydrated vegetables during the ceremony. Apparently, snack boxes have been a tradition for several years. In twenty twenty four, Jimmy Kimmel provided soft Philly style pretzels.

Last year, Conan provided Swedish fish, a pretzel and water. Hours before the Oscars took place, some movie posters showed up in Los Angeles. These movie posters were fake, and they mocked President Trump. Activist group Everyone Hates Elon posted images across the city. Some of them spoofed the movie one Battle after another as a template.

The acting credits at the fake movie poster were attributed to President Trump, Vice President Vance, Secretary of Defense. I’m not saying Secretary of War because that’s not officially the title. Despite what the White House says, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth and Prime Minister of Israel Benjamin Nett Yahoo a fake quote from Jeffrey Epstein reads a great distraction with the words from the directors of the Gaza Genocide. On the fake poster, where you would normally see Leonardo DiCaprio, the pranksters replaced Leo’s face with Trump, scenes of war, an explosion of fire and smoke, and a war torn city. A spokesperson for Everyone Hates Elon said, after promising no foreign wars, it turns out Donald Trump wants one battle after another.

The group added spoiler, you already know who dies in this film, and it’s not just the bad guys, it’s American service people and schoolgirls in Iran. The White House was not happy with Jimmy Kimmel. Kimmel was presenting the award for Best Documentary Feature. At one point he said the following line. He didn’t say who was referring to, but what Jimmy said was, oh man, he’s going to be mad.

His wife wasn’t nominated for this. It is assumed that he would be Donald Trump and his wife would be Milania, who had a documentary that was not nominated for Best Documentary Feature. White House Communications director Stephen Chung fire off a tweet. He shared a clip of Kimmel’s joke and called Jimmy Kimmel a classless hack who was self projecting his depression and sadness onto others. I’m not sure I agree with that assessment.

The White House Communications director had more to say about Jimmy kim Well, writing he lives a pathetic existence where nobody, not even his family, enjoys his miserable company. The only people giving him any attention are Hollywood elites, and then all caps bye bye. At the Oscars, Jimmy Kimmel spoke to Variety and said he was exhausted by having a comment on the President on a show each night. Kimmell said, we live in a ridiculous country. We always lived in a ridiculous country, but it was always ridiculous in a fun mister T kind of way.

Meeting the guy from the A team in Rocky three, Kimmell said, now we’ve got a different mister T. Ver Dawes was on Instagram, he answered a not asked question why does an India do a Gervais or even a Conan style hosting of a major film awards? Well as someone who wrote the script from many Indian awards for five years, Here’s why. The point of having comedian host en roast the Oscars or Film Awards is that for night a jester would humanize the most beautiful chosen people in the world since they were being celebrated already. That’s what any joke is a punch up here, meaning India story goes won’t take a joke from anyone not at their level.

Ironically, the big of the star who hosts the trigger it’s gonna be because like three people are at that level. So a huge star hosting works for the people in the room, just not always funny for the people watching, simply because the power balance is off. Since it is Saint Patrick’s day, I do want to get this story in. We’ll clear this out. Conan was on Kimmel last week and shared how a recent trip to Ireland and the story of his great grandfather gave him a new perspective on immigration.

One year ago today, I was in Dublin at the Saint Patrick’s Day Parade. It was fantastic. They are much better at the Saint Patrick’s Day Parade than the New York City one. Love it from New York, but it’s just cops and firemen and bagpipes and more cops and more firemen and more cops and more bagpipes. The one in Dublin is more like the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.

It was tons of fun with like really cool floats. I digress and the show’s long enough. Freddy today, John, get to it, okay. Coda O’Brian said, I went back to Ireland and I saw a great genealogist who said, I found where your great grandfather’s home was. No home is gone, but he found the little spot where he lived near the Gallbali Mountains.

He said, I’ll go there and I’ll show it to you, and I said, we’ll do it on camera. Conan said, I was expecting have these jokes loaded up, we had props and funny things we were going to do. But I got there and I didn’t expect this because I’m not someone who wears my emotions on my sleeve. But I got emotional. It was very powerful.

There was this very small plot of land. He was a tenant farmer, so it wasn’t his. He didn’t have money, and he needed to move on because it wasn’t working, probably not enough to eat, couldn’t sustain, so he left and went to America and here I am a couple generations later. What’s amazing to me is when you have that experience and you stand there, I have incredible empathy for people who have immigrated to another country. Takes an entire lifetime to go to a country where often people don’t speak the language.

They have to spend their entire lives just getting things started for the next generation. It’s a whole lifetime that you’re feeding into the process. I was just thinking about this guy whom I’ll never meet, who had to do that. I think he was overcome by the fact that there’s a lot of sadness, and that’s story, and a lot of these stories people leave not because they think, Hey, I just want to go a fun in America. They leave because they have to.

We’re coming up. Mark Norman has a special out today. We are long enough today. Boy, some other time, I’ll tell you about when I went up to Belfast. It was really, really emotionally moving, and the Conin story just reminded me that also on my mind.

Michael B. Jordan going to In and Out Burger after the Oscars ball or move love it. In and Out is fantastic. I got a nice note on the side from one of the listeners, and this note really really means a lot to me. The gist of the note was this person listens to the program every morning and finds it a nice distraction from the news, maybe not that story I did about the fake billboards, but finds it a nice distraction from the news, and thanked me for doing the show every day.

And look, guys, this show is nothing. This is just a lunatic rambling in the basement about Adam Sandler unless you guys actually listen to it. So I really truly appreciate that you listen, and I love getting notes from that. I’m not asking everyone to write a note, but I do those notes mean a lot to me? And I think the big takeaway for me is what I’m going for is nice enough guy, mildly amusing, easy on the ears.

That’s all the shows really designed to be, you know, ten, twelve, fifteen, or today thirty minutes, you know, help kill the morning commute or however your reason today, And again I appreciate it. I also forgot to pull. I got a nice note apparently I mispronounced the way you’re supposed to say the name of a fish in the Steve Harvey story from over the weekend. Got a nice note on Facebook about that. I’ll try and remember to put that in tomorrow.

But I’m not being a jerk. It was a nice note. It was well phrased. Was like, hey, man, just want to let you know, and I was like, okay again, kid from Queen’s I don’t know too much. Mark Norman has a special out today.

There was a point where this was the lead story today’s script. But here we are like a half hour in titled none Too Please. It’s on Netflix. Filmed at the Boulder Theater in Boulder, Colorado. Mark Norman turns married life, fatherhood not button topics.

It’s too rapid fire punch lines and this witty free for all or nothing is off limits. Mark said, actually got caught going a strip club recently by my wife, but on how she caught me, I only talked about it on four podcasts. That’s in the trailer. I’m excited for this one. Mark spit around for a bit.

Now not a household name. Good looking guy hangs out with the comedians who can accelerate his career. Joe Rogan, boy, you know everything is timing and maybe this one on Netflix will just really really pop. Mentioned yesterday about Bert Krasier’s tour bus fire. The subreddit dedicated to the podcast Your Mom’s House had some fun with it.

These comments are amazing. One person wrote, now Bert has a second story to tell that is just amazing. Drop the MIC’s or nothing’s going to top that other people tried. One wrote, hopefully this tragedy doesn’t make them become an alcoholic for the last twenty years. Another said you have to question if Bert did this on purpose to make a headline.

That’s how much of an attention where he is. I do find it interesting that the fire happened and then a couple hours later Netflix announced he got a season two of Free Bird. I’m not saying those things are related. Mark Norman with a really good line. Yes, the same Mark Norman with the special out Today, Mark Norman wrote something can stop the machine creat line.

Tim Dillon chimed in. He wrote, of the wreckage looks like a photo of downtown Austin. Boy, I’ve got stories I can’t even bump today. It’s Saint Patrick’s day. If I don’t do this one now, when are you gonna do it?

From The La Times, irishman David Nil feared public speaking before he found stand up. Now he won’t stop talking. David’s special Cultural Appreciation is two and a half million views on YouTube, but he said I wouldn’t even call mine comedy specials. I don’t know how to do performance, but I don’t know how to talk. Growing up in Ireland, he struggled to learn he is dyslexia.

I said, I came in the lowest five percent tile in the whole country of Ireland for spelling and I didn’t even spell my name right on the test. His father offered to buy him a Super Nintendo for certain math scores. David didn’t get those scores. Dad bought it for him anyway, and then David sold it. Bought myself a motorcycle even though I was fifteen and not legally old enough to drive.

As an ireland your nature is just a default of funny stories, he says. American stand ups about taking a topic and make it funny for five minutes. Irish comedians say this thing happened to me, and I think that’s funny. Let me just repeat it, he says. He prefers telling stories to just a few people.

That’s interesting and I love this too. He says, with comedy, the best part for me is that before show, I eat half a chocolate bar and I leave the other half in the hotel room. After the show, I get to finish it. That’s true happiness. I also can’t bump this story about Maggie Winters.

She’s got a special out today on YouTube. It’s called Margarite. It includes Maggie Winter’s performing stand up from her bedroom, as well as other videos and bits. She explained, I did improv for about five years, and at the time of my life, I was scared of stand up. I never actually thought I would do it, so I’m shocked that I’m here today.

The theme of the special. It started as a joke but is fully The theme is Live, Laugh, Love. I talk about my life, I talk about my laugh and I talk about my love. The show is in three sections. One of the jokes is about all Irish Americans landed here, so now it’s people who have the Irish flag tattoo but have never set foot in Ireland.

And that is a very long daily comedy use today. Did you see why we didn’t get into Sebastian Menascalgo and Marcelo Hernandez and snl UK and the New York Times writing about comedy and the Epstein Files. We had a lot to do tomorrow, but that’s enough for now. Appreciate you see tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Callaroga, Shark Media, Oh. Outbit outlaugh Outlast. This is Comedy Survivor. I’m Johnny Mack and this is the Comedy Survivor elimination show. Many weeks ago, we stranded sixteen comedians on Comedy Island.

Each week, the listeners go to the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group. They write down one name. Whoever gets the most votes is voted off Comedy Island. Still in the game, Nikki Glaser, John Mulaney, Otsco At Cotska, Sebastian Manascalco, Tignatarro, Sarah Silverman, and Leslie Jones. It’s time to tell you the votes.

Mike votes for Tignatarro, Lee votes for Osco at Coska. Matt votes for John Mulaney. Scott votes for Tignetzrrow, Dylan votes for Tignazarrow. That’s Tig’s third vote. Heather votes for Leslie Jones.

Andy votes for Leslie Jones, two votes for Leslie Jones, Yvon votes for Otsco at Cotsco two votes for Otsco. Barbe votes for John Mulaney, two votes for John Mulaney. Mike votes for Nikki Glaser. Lindsey votes for Otsco at Cotsga, Andrea votes for Nikki Glaser. That’s two votes for Nikki Glaser.

Michelle votes for John Mulaney, three votes for John Mulaney, three votes for Otsco at Cotsga, three votes for Tignetzorrow, Travis votes for Tignazarrow four votes for Tig Nataro. Karin votes for Otsco at Coska, four votes for Osco, Raffie votes for Leslie Jones, and Mary votes for Leslie Jones and Folks, you’re not gonna believe this. We have a tie, not a two way tie, a three way tie. Leslie Jones, Otsco at Coska, and Tig Nataro all with four votes, John Mulaney with three. Under the rules of Comedy Survivor, when there’s a tie, the AI breaks the tie.

Spruce the AI. Are you there, I’m right here. If there’s anything you need, whether it’s settling that tie or anything else, just let me know. Can you please confirm the vote for me? Absolutely?

You had a three way tie with four votes each for Leslie Jones, Atsuko and take Nataro. John Malaney had three votes and Nikki Glaser had two. The highest Crystal Clear, Leslie, Hotsuko and Tig each got four votes. Spruce. Under the rules of Comedy Survivor, you get to cast the deciding vote.

All right, I’ll step up. Given the dynamics so far, I’m casting the deciding votes. Who eliminate Take Nataro. She’s been a recurring target and with multiple votes a week after week, it feels like her time is up. Star trek Ruiner, Take Nataro has been voted off Comedy Island.

I’m not too upset about it. Boy, We’ve got two big time survivors here. You guys can’t get rid of Leslie Jones or Otsco at Cotska in no matter how much you try. We’ll take a break. We’ll come back and look at what all this means.

I got a big kick out of the Facebook group this week. You guys were very funny. There are alliances, I can see them. Dylan has even laid out a plan for the next few weeks. We’ll see if anybody follows his lead.

There. Avon keeps voting for Otsko and Cotska, but she keeps surviving. Avon had posted knowing how Susan Lucci felt waiting for that daytime. Emmy Lindsey said that last week she forgot to vote and would have voted for OSCO, which would have voted Osco off the Island. She voted for Osco this week, but Osco has survived yet again, and Mary cracked me up and said, if someone could keep repeating the Joe Koy jokes, I can keep voting Leslie Jones off on the Golden Gloves.

We have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift now. Of the three people that went down to the tiebreaker, their names have been coming up. Leslie’s been to the tiebreaker before, Oscar has been to the tiebreaker before, and Tig was getting a lot of negative votes early in the season here, but the AI says the real story is Leslie Jones and Osco at Coska. Leslie Jones, week after week people vote for her, week after week. She survives Osco at Coska.

The I don’t know. Her vote has been consistent for multiple rounds, yet it never reaches critical mass. Okay, it’s time for you guys to vote. Go to the Daily Comedy News podcast group Still on Comedy Island. John Mlaney, Sebastian Manaskalco, Sarah Silverman, Nikki Glaser, Leslie Jones and otsgo Atkotzka.

Who’s going Home this week? Facebook group a Daily Comedy News podcast group. Vote and I’ll see in the morning with a normal episode.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Take a minute here. We’ll walk through the Oscars kind of slowly, kind of lower energy than my normal delivery. It’s about nine to thirty on Sunday night.

My body feels like it’s later because I’ve been watching this thing for two and a half hours and taking a break here while the Knicks are in halftime. I also have the baseball game on. I have three things going on TV, so let’s talk about the Oscars. And I really want to break down Conan’s monologue from a comedy standpoint. My headline here at nine point thirty.

Unless something goes sideways, you never know somebody might slap someone. What a well produced Oscars. I’m really really impressed by this broadcast. I’m a production snob among a comedy snob and a star trek snob and all the other things I snob. But this is really well produced.

All right. We start with a fun cold open Conan O’Brien dressed as Aunt Glass from Weapons. I’ll stop there. I kept notes as the show went along, and I was wondering, have Normy’s seen these movies and I’m not shading any of the movies. I just don’t know if any of these cut through.

I personally didn’t know the Aunt Gladys reference. Maybe everyone else does. My wife came by. She didn’t want to watch the Oscars because she didn’t know any of the movies. My daughter, who’s a theater kid and who performed off off Broadway earlier in the day, she wasn’t watching because she didn’t know the movies.

So I thought that was interesting. Anyway, Coda comes out dresses Aunt Gladys from Weapons. He runs through various Oscar nominated scenes, and again, I wonder if your average American knew what they were referencing. There doesn’t mean it’s bad. It was still high energy and a lot of fun.

Conan was dressed in an orange wig and halface makeup, just like the villain from Weapons. He goes on to invade a ping pong scene from Marty Supreme. I think that cut through to the mainstream interrupts the play from Hamnet. I think a lot of people don’t even know what Hamnet is because of the weird name. Rode Shutgun with Benisio del Toreo on one battle after another.

That’s one of the few films I did see because it was streamed on Netflix question Mark. I became animated for a K pop demon Hunter is a bit okay fine, and then asked to be lett inside the Duke joint from Sinners. All Right, that one I think landed as well. A lot, a lot of fun. Okay, Let’s break down the monologue here Conan, as I shared in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group, you want a professional hosting these things, and I think Conan nailed it.

Now Here he jokes that he’s going to be the last human host. I am Conan O’Brien, and I’m honored to be the last human host of the Academy Award. Yeah. Yeah, next year it’s going to be a way mow in a tous so check that out. And I was surprised Conan got somewhat political.

Maybe not by name, but he got the points in several times. Here’s sort of a political joke. No, it’s great to be back hosting the Oscars. Last year when I hosted Los Angeles was on fire, but this year everything’s going great. Here at a minute five and was monolog he had a good Challa made joke.

Security is extremely tight tonight. I just got to mention that, Yeah, I’m told there’s concerns about attacks from both the opera and ballet communities. They’re just magg you left out jazz. I should warn you tonight could get political, okay, and if that makes you uncomfortable, there’s an alternate oscars being hosted by Kid Rock. Yeah, it’s at the Dave and Busters down the street.

At that point I wrote down that Conan immediately had his fastball. Now last year it took him a minute to find it, but he came out throwing heat this week, and then he did get it political a few more times. This joke really didn’t get much of a reaction. In Hamnett, William Shakespeare’s wife Agnes gives birth by herself in the woods. Whereas we call that here in America affordable healthcare.

Now you’re real for you, huh? All Right? As we dive deeper into the art of a monologue, pay attention to the tag on this joke about F one F one. I loved F one a popcorn movie. It was great.

F one is terrific. Yeah. F one is up for Best Picture. It’s the story of a race car driver who finally wins after deciding to go faster. Yeah.

Yeah. F one received four nominations. F one did so well, they’re making a sequel, caps lock. Some of these I do for myself. This next one here, involving Rose Byrne, is what we call a joke.

Joke. I was in a movie this year. Yeah, I was in a movie with the lovely Roseburn. My co star Rose byrn is nominated for Best Actress. And if I had legs, i’d kick you.

Yeah. Yeah, it’s hard to act in a scene with someone you’ve always had a massive crush on. But Rose, you did a fantastic job. I don’t want to spoil this next one, but I actually wrote down wow about this one. It’s the first time since twenty twelve, first time since twenty twelve that there are no British actors nominated for Best Actor or Best Actress.

Yeah, British spokesperson said, yeah, well at least we arrest our pedophiles. So you got that going. So Conan was following the basic and so and so was here, Like I don’t know if it was me and Mike Chisholm from the Letterman podcast was there, I’d be like you know, Mike for the Letterman podcast is here, and then I’d say something about him being Canadian or something basic. And that was what Conan was doing as he was checking and driving. Leonardo DiCaprio was here, sir, good to see you.

I about you. He’s the star of so many movies and the king of memes. He’s the king of memes. This guy. Let’s make a new meme with Leo right now.

That feeling when you didn’t agree to this, they’ll pull that up in editing. Live. Here is a good example of the comedy rule of three. This is not the most hilarious joke. It’s pretty basic, but it’s the one two three rule of comedy.

Tonight’s oscars are being watched by more than a billion people around the world. Yeah, let’s let’s say hi to some of them. If you’re watching from Spain, Oh. That’s so, I corner Brians. If you’re seeing us in Argentina, Ola, so I called Rabrian.

Yes, from and to our friends in Los Angeles, Ola, so. I called Lebrian.

And then Conan did get pretty serious for about a minute.

Let’s let this rule. If I can be serious for just a moment, everyone watching right now around the world is all too aware that these are very chaotic, frightening times. Okay, it’s at moments like these that I believe that the Oscars are particularly resonant. Check it out. Thirty one countries across six continents are represented this evening, and every film, every film, yeah, every film we salute, is the product of thousands of people speaking different languages, working hard to make something of beauty.

We pay tribute tonight, not just a film, but to the ideals of global artistry, collaboration, patience, resilience, and that rarest of qualities today, optimism. So let us please celebrate. Let us celebrate. Let us celebrate not because we think all as well, but because we work and hope for better in the days ahead. You’re announcer Matt Berry.

They said he was doing it from London. I shot a note to a friend who’s a broadcaster and I’m like, remember, we used to have to like order specific phone lines three weeks in advance, and now we’re like just cowboying. The Oscars. Announcer sitting at a booth in London, and the Oscars are in la So that’s eight time zones. So no matter how good your tick.

The speed of light is still a thing. If you do a broadcast from LA to London, there is a delay. There’s nothing you can do about that. I don’t care how good your tech is. So I’m impressed they did that.

So Matt Berry just I don’t know. He was like, sure, I’ll do it, but I’m not going to LA for that. I mean kind of fascinating, but anyway, let’s listen to Matt Berry with his wonderful pronunciations. The set up here as Conan is fantasizing about winning an Academy Award. The nominees for Best Achievement ah Antonio Bendadras.

Then he’s done with the Benzel Washington, Clenn Close. And Conan O’Brian handel. Winner is Conan O’Brian. We come back from the first break. Conan had a couple more jokes.

Welcome back, We’re coming to you live from that has a small penis theater. Let’s see him put his name in front of that. I was really happy watching the non stars win, like the animators of the costume people like I just let them have their moment. I hate when they play people off. Look, what are we racing to get to the eleven o’clock news, who gears Just let it roll, you know, within reason.

If somebody goes ridiculously long, okay, play them off, but let people have their moment. Conan then starts to disappear. That’s not a dig at him. You see that on almost every award show that you get a lot of the host upfront and then they kind of disappear and occasionally just show in to move the show along. And if you listen to Saturday’s podcast, Conan had talked about how that is the role onto the Rob Reiner tribute.

I’m not crying, you’re crying. Wow, I’m getting choked up right now thinking about it. Billy Crystal nailed that. Now I wanted to pull the audio. I have a program called audio Hijack, which we’ll record all the out on in your computer.

I was watching on the Big TV and then I had YouTube TV playing on the laptop. But I was just hijacking the audio, as they say, and I went to pull the Billy Crystal and I saw that, oh, too many of my children logged into dad’s YouTube TV account and mine got kicked off for the too many screens. So I don’t have the christ the audio, but it’s fantastic. Around nine pm, Conan did a bit about reaching the younger audience. I thought it was okay.

My daughter, unprompted, texted me and said that she really really liked that bit, so it worked touchdown for Conan. There, Jimmy Kimmel shows up around nine to fifteen. Let’s listen to Jimmy. I did edit this clip for pacing Jimmy. Kimmel and Welcome to the ninety eighth Annual Academy Awards.

Oh wait, am I not hosting the show? Well, this is embarrassing. Actually, Conan went outside to get some mayor inadvertently exposed his face to the sun and was incinerated. So I will be finishing out the rest of the program. I am here to present the Oscars for Documentary Films.

We hear a lot about courage at shows like this, but telling a story that could get you killed for telling it is real courage. As you know, there are some countries whose leaders don’t support free speech. I’m not at liberty to say wit, let’s just leave it at North Korea and CBS. Fortunately, so whatever happens in the second half of the Oscars we’ll talk about that on Tuesday’s podcast. Now, while we’re here, I was online all night, you know, I’m in the Facebook group, I’m on Twitter.

I’m just saying what’s happening in the news. I just saw this one come in. I’m reading this cold. Bert Kreischer said his tour bus went up in flames on I ninety four between tour stops on Sunday. Bert shared a photo of the burnt bus.

He said after the fire, we’re all counting our blessings today. In an Instagram Stories post, he said, we would have all been on at asleep, we would have been dead. Bert told people his team avoided being on the bus at the time of the fire because around midnight after a show in North Dakota, the tour buses front right tire blew out on nine ninety four. Bert said, it was a fluke accident. We hit nothing and it was a no fault of the driver.

We waited outside for a couple hours. They decided to leave the bus on the highway and split into the other two crew buses. The bus that caught fire waited fixing around eleven am on Sunday. The bus driver who stayed behind heard a pop come from the roof. Within a matter of seconds, the bus was filled with smoke.

The driver exited the bus. The driver’s okay. The bus went up in flames. That’s all really weird. I’m glad everyone’s okay.

Bert said he and his team lost many belongings in the fire, including their clothing and other things they had left behind. In another insta post, Bert posed outside of Dick’s Sporting Goods where they went to buy new clothes, and he captioned it my current and only outfit. He told people, me, the other comedians, my assistant, my trainer are all very lucky. The Lord works in mysterious ways. As annoyed as we were to blow out a tire on a highway and a snowstorm in the middle of nowhere, we’re all counting our blessings today that we weren’t on the bus when the fire broke out.

I’m sure I litte more about that on Tuesday’s pod SNL was really good. We’ll talk about more on Tuesday was the best episode of the season. Marcelo Hernandez did his Sebastian manascalco. I’ll break that apart. On Tuesday’s episode, I’ll so new cast member Jeremy Colhayne did an awesome sucker Carlson.

We’ll talk about that. And I continue to feel that Keenan Thompson continues to be the glue on that show. And I was really impressed by Harry Styles. I sent to a couple friends. Some people are just stars.

Harry was a great host, very comfortable hosting, obviously a great musical performer. Looks great. That guy’s just a star. Okay, we’ll take the break here. There is a second half of the podcast.

I recorded it Friday afternoon for this very scenario of let me do the oscar’s up top and then some other stuff after the break. I don’t even remember what I was talking about. So come back after the break and there’s something there. I’m just a little tired, and I gotta put the show together. Now, coming up at newon Eastern today, the results of Comedy Survivor.

Can’t Wait. Check back on the feed. Then Stephen Colbert Tonight on his program will mark the fifteenth anniversary of the Book of Mormon’s Broadway debut. It’s been more than fifteen years. I saw that in previews.

Is that number right? Yeah? Wikipedia said the Eugene O’Neill Theater on March twenty fourth, twenty eleven. Well, I saw it in previews and it was great. I’ve seen it a few times.

Wonderful show if you’ve never seen it. Tonight, on Colbert’s program, you’ll welcome guests Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and Robert Lopez, the trio responsible for the music, lyrics and book. That’s interesting that Trey and Matt are doing stuff they usually don’t want to. Way back when the Book of Mormon was launching, we had Trey and Matt up to celebrate the musical at Sirius. I forget exactly what we did, but I do remember that Trey and Matt did not want to engage with anyone.

I would not describe them as friendly.

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Also on Colbert Tonight, Andrew Reynolds and Josh Gadd, the original leads in…

Those are the guys that I saw way back when. Apparently in twenty eleven, the Lighted Show will also host a performance by the current Broadway cast of the Book of Mormon. It is currently the tenth longest running show on Broadway and the longest running show in the one hundred year history of the Eugene O’Neil Theater, nine time Tony Award winner. The Book of Mormon follows a mismatched pair of Mormon sent on a mission to a place that’s about as far from Salt Lake City as you can get. Uganda Wece caught up with Pete Holmes.

I feel like there’s been a Pete Holmes renaissance. I definitely have gotten a lot of nice words about and thank you Pete Holmes for coming on this program two weeks ago, and I am reminded Pete’s special hasn’t even hit YouTube yet. I spent the ten bucks to watch it, so I think we’re going to continue to see a Pete Holmes renaissance. Vice asked Pete Holmes have comedy crowds changed since Pete Holmes first started? Now, I not a performer, would have said yes, but Pete Holmes says not one bit.

Johnny Mack finds that surprising. Pete says, I think audiences have gotten more sophisticated and never broader understanding of comedy, which of course helps immensely. The one change I’ve noticed is people think the comedian wants to talk to the crowd. So yeah, Pete, they have changed. That’s what I would have said.

That’s because of Instagram. Everybody posts their crowd work clips because they don’t want to post material. I get it, but it’s making people shout out more. That’s fine, But I always think my act is better than me just asking one guy what he does for a living. Weiss was curious about would there be a Crashing movie m HBO bring Crashing back to wrap things up.

Pete said, no. I love the way Crashing ended. If Pete the character went on to find success, which is where it probably would have gone, it wouldn’t be crashing, it would be flourishing. And I think the struggle of years are the funniest and most interesting. No one wants to see Pete get a bid dat in an espresso machine.

We want to see him. Good question here for Pete Holmes. Between the TBS show, on the podcast, You’ve interviewed a lot of different people. Does anyone stand out? His answer, Interviewing Conan O’Brien on both was the dream come true.

Conan was and is such a kind and good hearted champion of younger comics, and interviewing him instead of the other way around was a delight and slightly terrifying. Comedy Gives Back is the nonprofit working to provide a safety net for the comedy community. They have set the lineup for Alt Comedy All Stars twenty twenty six that has a benefit show to be the mantabamb Theater in Los Angeles on April twenty second. Your lineup Bob Odenkirk, Star trek Ruiner, Patton Oswalt, Mary Lynn, Rice Cup you remember her from twenty four and more. In the press release, Star trek Ruiner Patton Oswalt called stand Up this weird, wonderful path where each generation learns from the ones who came before.

You grind it out in the clubs, you bomb, you get better, and somewhere along the way, community forms events like All Comedy All Stars. A minus that we’re all part of the same ecosystem and supporting Comedy Gives Back means helping that ecosystem survive. Bob Bonenkirk said it, as a proud member of the comedy community, I want to support comedians in need. Mary Lynn gave a quote two Comedy Gives Back does incredible work supporting comedians when they need it most time. Proud to lend my Voice, et cetera, et cetera.

South By Southwest Comedy hung a Monday. That’s rare for a festival to go through the weekend and hang the extra day Creak in the Cave. Six o’clock south By Southwest Comedy presents unsponsored apparently Dylan Carlino, Freddie Chanell, Tone Bell, Vanessa Gonzales and Jake Cornell eight fifteen Creaking the Cave. The Dropout Improv does a pretty flower interesting title. I’ll click, We’re told Kurt Maloney, Jacob Osaki, Vick Michaels, Oscar Montoya and Scott Pasarella from Dropout TV take on long form improv in this special live show.

And there’s a warning. Folks, Please note that the programming descriptions are generation by participants and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of south By Southwest. All right, relax, let me know what everybody found offensive in that show description. Geeze eight o’clock at Estra’s Folly’s It’s Chaos with Chelsea Pretti, Natasha Lazio and Sabrina Jaelly’s drop Out as another show at nine, this one called crowd Control at the Creek in the Cave. In this one, the audience is the main material, okay.

And then if you’re up late at eleven, the Creek in the Cave has another south by. Southwest Comedy presents an unsponsored show again. Gavin Mattz, Casey Bousche and Alex English are your performers. And that is your comedy news for today. All right, come back newon Eastern Comedy Survivor we’ll find out who was voted off Comedy Island seeing a couple hours

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. A sentence the algorithms love the oscars are tonight. That was well covered yesterday.

Meanwhile, Wanda Sykes was on Stephen Colbert’s program and encouraged him to…

You always bring the fire every night, but this last show has to be destruction. Colbert said, I want to get Pope Leo on here. He’s ghosting me. He’s holy ghosting me. Jimmy O Yang has a new special bullet Where’s it going to be airing nowhere?

It’s a theatrical release. I couldn’t believe it when I read this. It is Jimmy O Yang’s third comedy special, this one called Finally Home. He taped it during a sold out arena run in Hong Kong. The special screen exclusively in Hong Kong at Emperor Cinema, is beginning March twentieth if you can’t make your way to Hong Kong, wait a week and we’ll open in theaters across the USA and Canada March twenty seventh.

Jimmy O Yang, self proclaimed as the Taylor Swift of Hong Kong, Love It. In the special, he talks about his family fighting for the bill and his experience as an immigrant returning to his hometown for the first time in twenty five years, weaving together his English set with a touch of subtitled Cantonese. There is a trailer. I play a little bit of it. I found it to be a little noisy, and I like Jimmy O Yang a lot, so I am excited about this one.

But I didn’t love the trailer. Let’s listen. You know why Asian people love gambling. It’s our only extreme sport. Oh we got.

The only thing that gets maya adrenaline going is the possibility of losing money to a stranger. Of these Chinese karaoke systems. After every song, the machine gives you a school is it ai put is some old assum in the back judging you through the kitchen seventy two? No, they’re asking the seal of TikTok He’s like, are you Chinese, I’m Singaporean, Sir. He’s Singapore and China.

No, it’s in Singapore, Sir. Tom Sigora was speaking with Forbes about his amazing staff at why m H Studios. Sigora, on his podcasting front, said they handle everything. They take care of everything from the booking to the prepping of the show to the technical aspect. There’s a post studio there, social media team.

They do everything, and the idea is we just show up. We get to be ourselves and hang out and do the show, which I think is the best version of the show for us. It’s just beyond there but yourself, have fun, talk crap, and that’s kind of how we try to do it. Incredible staff at y MH. Tom said he had no idea the podcast would really launch him.

He said, of course not. I had zero desire to do it. I didn’t want to start a podcast. I got talked into it and reluctantly was doing it. That’s one of those things where I realized I was having fun doing it.

I didn’t even realize there’s an audience listening. You couldn’t tell it first, but I just realized you can put up the show you want to put on. It’s the same as stand up and stand up. You get to say what you want to say. And so when I had been a guest on a podcast, I was like, I don’t do this.

But I realized I didn’t want to do their podcast. I want to do my podcast, and figuring that was a really exciting thing. On Friday, I told you THEO Vaughan was going to be at the Baton Rouge Parade. As I record this. Later on Friday, I’m told that THEO Vaughn dropped out of the parade, no reason given.

At this time, some people observed that THEO Vaughn had a Friday night show and two Saturday night shows in Florida, neither of which are in Louisiana, where Baton Rouge is Now you can’t travel back and forth, and THEO can probably afford the plane. But maybe, perhaps possibly he didn’t want to be in Florida Friday, Louisiana Saturday and then do two shows last night. Who knows. Hope everything’s okay there. George Lopez spoke to NJ dot Com about doing politics.

He said, I tried not to cross the line, but in comedy, no one else was talking about the inner workings of the family or what we mean to America. I was never particularly political, but over the past fifteen years I felt there needed to be a voice. It didn’t matter to me whether people agreed or disagreed. I wasn’t doing it for approval. It’s a small part of what my act is, but of course it’s there.

I always try to make people laugh. I’m not preaching, and there are ways I can still get the message across without dividing the room. Ron Funches had nice things to say about Donna Kelcey and about meeting Travis Kelcey. This happened when Ron Funches was on Are You Smarter Than a Celebrity? Funch Is called Kelsey an amazing game show host.

Never met this man in my life and honestly was like, all right, football guy to come in here and knows the show, the thing I want to do. I want to host the show. Let me see what you got. And I’m like, damn, this man is charming as hell. I get this is why you’re marrying a billionaire.

He’s so charming and so sweet and so kind. Angela Kinsey, you know her as Angela from the Office, revealed she would love to reprise her character for the Peacock spin off series, The Paper. I don’t think i’ve actually finished The Paper. I was kind of sort of into it and got distracted. I don’t know.

I should probably watch the last two episodes whatever I have left. But shockingly, Angela would take more work no way, she told she’ll developer Greg Daniels, Greg, if you need Angela Martin to come, you know, if Oscar is having an accounting problem and Angela needs to come, I’d be more than happy to. We’ll see if that happens. Mackenzie Crook played Gareth on The UK Office, the Real One, no offense. It’s not like I don’t love the American Office, but I don’t know.

I had to say the UK Office because the UK Office is the Office. This one with Steve Karel is the American version anyway, I digress. Krook told The Guardian after The Office, I wanted to write something that wasn’t cruel humor, that didn’t have a cringe factor, and in doing so I stumbled upon my genre, gentle comedy. Not wild about the term. It sounds both unfunny and as if you’re trying not to offend anyone.

He said, you recently rewatched The Real Office and said, in series two, a fire alarm goes off and everyone’s evacuated. Watching it, I had this real Pavlovian reaction where my heart just sank because they knew something awful was coming up. I’ve forgotten all about it. What happens is, David and Gareth, you had twenty years start trying to get a disabled employee down the stairs, then give up halfway through, saying if it was a real fire, that definitely come back for her. It’s excruciating.

Steve Harvey caught up with Hookendbarrel dot com You’re home for comedy news. He talked about his fishing days. He said, I traveled with a rod real tackle box, skillet, some charcoal, cornmeal and grease. When I caught bass crappier brim, I’d clean them on the bank, stop at a rest area, and cook them on those cast iron grills. That’s how I pretty much survived.

Fishing wasn’t fun for me. He was about staying alive. Now. One day he stopped at a lake caught some fish. The owner of the property showed up and said, hey, this ain’t your lake.

Why fishing over here? Steve Harvey said, I apologize and pulled my line out of the water, and then he said, those ain’t your fish. Throw them fish back. Harvey threw all six fish back in the lake. He says, that was my dinner.

I got in the car a little teary eyed, and I told God, one day I’m gonna buy me a piece of land with a pond on it, and nobody can throw me off, and I’m going to fish wherever I want to. Six years later, Steve Harvey was on television. Tomorrow will be the OSCARS recap in a normal episode, then at noon Eastern the results of Comedy Survivor. I’ve not yet looked at the results as I record this, looking forward to see what happened. It was a lot of fun in the Facebook group this week, a lot of chatter at south By Southwest today at four o’clock the ucb Ascat Show that is a regular show at festivals.

That’s at Ester’s Folly’s At six point fifteen, The Creek in the Cave hosts Comic Relief and the Moth Present Funny Story. The website has things out of time order here because fifteen minutes before that at six o’clock and why didn’t you? I don’t know. Gotham Comedy Club presents Jared Freed, Tone Bell, Gavin Matt’s, Casey Balsham and Sophie Buttle. That’s a pretty decent show.

At seven o’clock at the Creek in the Cave at south By Southwest So Everything as a sponsor, It’s Facebook presents Robert Schultz, Amber Wallin, Chloe Radcliffe, Jazz Sainey and Paris Sachet. Eight o’clock at Ester’s Follies Britannic nine o’clock Creek in the Cave has Dropout presents Dirty Laundry. At ten o’clock back at esther is the Anything but Basic Cabaret.

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Also at eleven at the Creek in the Cave Bombing with Eric andre And from Beli…

I use that joke? Ready, didn’t I leave it in? Jeff Foxworthy was speaking at the Conversation on Biblical Manhood put on by the Church of eleven twenty two in Jacksonville. Other speakers included Tim Tebow, you know, the football player, and pastor Matt Chandler of Texas. Jeff Foxworthy open up about his struggles in becoming a biblical father and man, noting how the failings of his own father put him behind the mark.

I didn’t know this about Jeff. Jeff’s father was married six times, drank, smoked, custed, told dirty jokes. Jeff said, I didn’t know how to be a good husband. I know how to be a good dad. But I could see guys that were good husbands, and I could see guys that were good dads, and I knew enough to pick their brain.

Pastor Martin warned about the dude phase of manhood. Foxworthy called that phase the freedoms of adulthood with the responsibilities of childhood. We’ve got a bunch of guys locked in right there with that, and it’s not a good combination. And that is your comedy news for today. See tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hey, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. A sentence the algorithm love, so I keep saying it. The Oscars are tomorrow night. They will be hosted by Conan O’Brien for the second year in a row.

Conan said, it’s not just about being funny moments a moment, it’s also about acknowledging what there is in a larger sense. As the host, I’m sort of the human avatar or whatever. I’m the entryway for the person watching at home, the person the audience member can relate to. I’ve been working for a really long time on material for the show with my writers, and it’s still evolving. Because we live in a very fast paced world.

Jokes we thought of two months ago are relevant now. There might be things that happened this week that will find their way into the show. He recalled last year there were a lot of challenges. The LA wildfires had him working well displaced. Conan said, so this year, I get to wake up in the morning in my own room, which sounds like a small thing, but it’s a huge thing.

So this year, all the movies are so different, they’re also vibrant. There’s so many different voices, so much artistry went into them. I think it’s one of the best film years that we’ve had in memory. As for a hosting, he doesn’t see the job being punchlines all the time. He explains, it’s not necessarily about being one hundred percent funny all the time.

Sometimes there are moments where it’s my job to move us along to the next moment. He and the team talk a lot about prep and design and getting everything just a certain way and practice practice, practice, But when this show happens, it’s an organic thing that’s unfolding in real time. The show will be a living organism, for better or worse. Conin did several interviews during the week. When with The La Times, they talked about the elephant in the room, which is the ongoing war in Iran, Conan said, my job is to always try and hit this very very thin line between entertaining people and also acknowledging some of the realities.

It’s a dance that goes on up until the show begins. Between us, and he referenced his executive producers. We’ll find the right tone. Conan recalled when Johnny Carson hosted the Oscars during the Iran hostage crisis. When I was a boy, Johnny Carson parodied ABC’s Nightline with the joke It’s Day four hundred and forty four of the Oscars.

Conan said, it was such a funny, topical joke that touched on something everybody was thinking about and at the same time got a big laugh and was unifying, and that was meaningful to me. Now, what about the rumored safety threats. One of the showrunners said, every year we monitor what’s going on in the world. They have the support of the FBI and the LAPD. The show runner said, this show has to run like clockwork.

Everyone is coming on the show that is witnessing the show, even a fan of the show. They’re standing on the barricades. Who want everybody to feel safe and protected and welcome. On Late Night or Bill Carter spoke with Conan. You can listen to that entire interview on the Late Night or Podcast Feed Wednesday’s episode the Bill Carter Interview.

Conan O’Brien, I just added that to my cue. Let’s see how absurd my cue is. Right now, this is a real number. If you follow me on LinkedIn and or the substack. I’ve been mentioning, this is a real number.

Okay, Right now I have two hundred and sixty nine episodes of podcasts downloaded to my phone. That would take two hundred ninety hours and twenty eight minutes to listen to all of them. However, it’s getting warmer out. Johnny Mack will either walk the dog or sit out in the yard, or fall asleep in the art, or sit on a beach, or sit up at the new summer place that I bought. So don’t worry that number is going to get lower.

I’ll eventually listen to Bill Carter and Cone and I digress. Carter asked, is it true that the Motion Picture Academy asked Conan to come back before he even left the stage last year? Conan said, not quite, but it was pretty quick. He talked about being a complete unknown back when he took over for David Letterman. He said, now we live in an arrow where there’s no such thing as a complete unknown.

Anyone like me starting out today would have six hundred hours of YouTube clips. Conan described his resume back then. He said, a writer, but he’s got an interesting vibe. Will there be a cold open on the Oscar? Conan said, you can expect some things.

We have more than one thing. We have some pieces I really like. We have some live things I’m really excited about. Very vague, Conan said, what I love most is the process. I love hanging around the writer’s room in my post late night life.

The two things I’ve missed most are having a writer’s room and having a band. When first asked to host the Oscars last year, Conan said, I was intrigued right away. I had done award shows in the past. I like the format. I like being out in front of people.

I like the feeling of ceremony because you can kind of play against it. So when they asked, yeah, I have to try this, I’m curious about it. I know it’s a lot of work and I’m gonna put myself through some misery, but let’s do it. And as for the second ask, yeah, I like to try that again. I had such a good time the first time.

I’m glad I did it. They talked about it being a tough room. ConA explained, the people in the room, you’re literally the last thing they’re thinking about say his barometer. If I’m having a good time and feeling the flow of it all and I’m making myself laugh ninety nine percent of the time, it means it went well. I call that the hallway ratings.

I used to talk about this. It’s serious a lot. If I was walking down the hall and feeling good about a show and people stopped me in the hallway to talk about what they had just heard on the radio, That’s how I knew we had a good show. And like this show here. You know, you do it every day.

Some episodes are better than others. Be realistic. You know. Some days I find a muse and the episode is a little more fun. Sometimes I’m just going through the headline.

Some days there’s nothing to work with. Some days I’ve find inspiration on the fly, so I know what Conan is saying. Conan says it’s even better if something unexpected comes up during the show. It’s a little like Olympic diving. You get grated on the difficulty if something just happened, people are looking for the host to guide them through that.

If you could do it in a funny way, the potential payoff is much greater than anything you thought of three months ago. Does Conan miss standing in front of an audience daily? Hmm, he says, no, I do not. You get one life. I spent a long chunk of my life doing that.

I really enjoyed it. It was thrilling, and now I like trying out all these other things. I thought I would miss it, but I do not. As for a late night, he said, my assumption has been that it’s gonna morph as everything does. Now.

People are watching their favorite comedian who no one else in the room has heard of. Had he worked Linden Late Night in the fifties or sixties, I would have left after the tonight show and you wouldn’t have heard from me. Again. Would Conan consider hosting SNL asked Bill Carter, And again you can hear that whole interview on Late Nighter. Conan said, good question.

I never want to be that guy comes back and says, hey, this is my old high school. I used to go here. Hey kids, I’m groovy. But never say never. If it came up, it could be exciting to try.

I’m not banking on it, certainly not asking for it. Conan got a big cover piece in the Hollywood Reporter under the headline, Conan O’Brien just can’t help himself. Conan said, we work in an industry where everyone’s constantly hyper analyzing where they are on a certain scale. All I can say is I get to do the thing that, for better or worse, I was put here to do. The article quotes John Mulaney, who said, I don’t watch a lot of these things, but I just remember thinking, is this the greatest Oscars ever?

Conan is a true artist and an incredible broadcaster. He’s also got one thing you cannot fake and can’t only earn, which is stature. Jeff Ross is quoted he had told Conan when the first offer came in. I told him you don’t need to do this. You’ve got nothing to prove.

When we quit late night, the goal will only do things that are fun, things we want to do well. This is what Conan wants to do. This is interesting. Mike Sweeney was Conan’s head writer and says, if anybody knows O’Brien’s tail when an idea tanks, it’s him. Sweeney explains his tell his tail is that he mocks at mercilesly for at least five minutes.

He’s most delighted in rehearsal. When things go wrong or they’re just bad. It’s like delivering fresh meat to lines gauge. If it’s your bit that’s getting eviscerated, you’re laughing as hard as anyone. You may be curious, how much do you get paid to host the OSCAR?

Is not all that much in the scheme of things. A twenty thirteen article in The Hollowod Reporter suggested a number between fifteen and twenty five thousand dollars. Seven years ago, Jimmy Kimmel said I got paid fifteen thousand dollars to host the OSCAR. Wanda Psyke said hosting the twenty twenty two ceremony actually left her out of pocket. I find that hard to believe.

But okay, by the way, remember twenty twenty two. Now, that was the year with the famous slap. Every time I see this sentence, it’s just my brain fries your host that year Wanda Sykes, Regina Hall, and Amy Schumer. Amy Schumer hosted the Oscars. Let’s just all ponder that for a second.

I just wanted to just stop and think for a second. Now, if I said to you, hey, you know who’s hosting the Oscars tomorrow, Amy Schumer, you’d be like what, wouldn’t you wouldn’t you be like what? Well? Twenty twenty two, Amy Schumer hosted the Oscars. That’s the thing that happened.

The New Yorker asked Conan O’Brien, it’s a high risk, maybe even the low reward gig, isn’t it? And Conah said, I choose not to see it this way. It was really fun. I grew up watching Bob Hope do it, Johnny Carson do it, so it’s a very cool thing to be connected to. And as you know, I’m very interested in history, and this thing has been around for one hundred years, almost a hundred years, solet’s have fun with it.

That’s my attitude. What I’ve learned myself over time is I can’t fake enjoyment. I need to find ways to make sure that I’m having a lot of fun. I need to prepare. I mean, I’m a big preparation person.

I work with this brilliant team of writers who are just downstairs from where I’m doing this podcast. I go down there, they’re all around a long table and they’re like, these premises are no good. Yeah, these premises are no good. We got to get the Glengarry premises, and I yell at them, I’m the Alec Bald when it comes in and gives that great speech upfront. I’m talking about the movie now.

I think we all know that, not the play. They asked Conut about the slap and he said, well, you know, I don’t want anyone to slap me. I’d like a streaker, you know what. I’d really like a streaker to slap me. That would just satisfy so many of my dormant Catholic hang ups.

But it’s a weird duality here. It’s a weird thing. I like to plan and I like to prepare, and then I love when something goes off the rails. If accidentally a light falls, you can make a whole show about that, you know what I mean. And I don’t know what it is about human beings, but they instinctively know when something is real enough the moment, and then they say, you react in real time like a human being and make something funny out of it, and that has ten times the value of anything you could have written.

So you have to be open for things to slightly go wrong, and it’s fun and electrifying. My whole life has been prepared, but then, like any good quarterback, be ready for the whole play to fall apart and then wing it. The New Yorker asked Conan about the performance of it all being a heightened you. Now, I’m just a dude in the podcast. But this is how I teach this.

I teach, you know, I’ve been a media executive for thirty something years, and I teach the college class and I always tell everybody, you have to be real, but you ramp u up to one hundred and five percent. And you know, I’ve talked about this candidly. John doesn’t like Adam Sandlor movies. I don’t find them funny, and I just go on with my life. But Johnny Mack, who records this podcast in the basement, as you know, Johnny Mack hates Adam Sailor movies and loses his mind and they even exist.

You can even hear how it just changed my speaking delivery. You know, I’m getting more animated, so that that’s the performance part of all this. Conan said, I’m always this guy. There’s a heightened me, but it’s really not that much different. I routinely would just t to people on the street, complete strangers, and then that will lead to me doing a bit and trying to get them into it, trying to do improv with random people on the street.

And I’ve been maced. That’s funny. Well it’s not funny. But you know, wait, John, you’re hanging yourself here, is it. Do you think it’s funny that Conan O’Brien got mased?

No, not at all, that’s not funny. I was just laughing at the way I imagined Conan telling the story. But of course it would be horrible if someone maceed Conan O’Brien. Did I dig enough of a holy yet? Coda said, Yeah, there’s a height in me, and there’s a depressed me that just wants to crawl in a corner and read a book.

But I have access to this guy a frightening amount of the time. My father, who was a very smart man and very analytical and a scientist, was looking at me once and he watched every late night show and he said, oh, I see you’re making a living off something that should have been treated. And he wasn’t choking. He said, I see your synapses. Is the rhythm of your circulatory system, and then you found a way to be compensated, and I thought, thanks Dad, it’s probably a good time to remind you.

If you like this program without the commercial interruption, open up the Apple podcast app. There’s a banner there it says uninterrupted listening. Click on that, and then for just five bucks a month, you get this show and a bunch of others on the network. I also host five Good News Stories, and I’m the writer on Palace Intrigue. We have a lot of fun making these things, but all those would be commercial free for just five bucks a month.

It’s a great way to support the show. South By Southwest Comedy tonight at seven o’clock at the Creek in the Cave. It is the Don’t Tell Comedy all Stars in partnership with a sponsor name. Everything has to have a sponsor at south By Southwest. It’s very corporate.

I think the people that go there think it’s really cool and like in a fun sense. It’s not cool. It’s very corporate. It’s all about money. None of this is about art, none of it.

None of it. None of it, none of it, none of it. Anyway, You Don’t Tell Comedy all stars include Sophie Buttle, Paris Cichet, Chloe Radcliffe, Antonio Kareem, and Gavin Mattz. That’s seven o’clock at the Creek in the Cave. At eight o’clock Esther’s Folly’s hosts Funny or Die Approved.

Now who has Funnier Die approved? Funnier Die has approved. Pete Lee, Paris Cichet again, She’s gonna all over town, Tone Bell, Alex English and Jared Freed. Then at ten o’clock at Esther’s Folly’s, The Stand presents Pete Lee, Devin Walker, Gavin Mattz and Jamore Neighbors. Then you can catch Devin Walker and Alex English at the Dead Show at eleven at the Creek in the Cave.

That’s your south By Southwest Comedy tonight. One thing I’m noticing in the past there have been like pretty shiny comedians at this thing. I don’t see them this time unless they’re all doing like podcasts, so they’re not showing up on the comedy tab as I check on that. How about that south By Southwest again? Oscars tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be a normal episode in Oscar’s recap obviously on Monday morning, and then Monday at noon Eastern the results of comedy Survivor meets you back here in the morning.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. I really do enjoy doing this every day. Thank you for supporting the program. And hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, a daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry, which, let’s face it is, apparently is that as the algorithms love. Happy Friday to thirteenth to those of you who celebrate.

Now. Hopefully between me recording. This and you hearing it, there wasn’t a horrible drone strike on the West coast. Jimmy Kimmel said, we can’t handle a drone strike. We barely survived the writers strike here.

And by the way, behind the scenes, there are days where I can sit down with the mic and just turn out script after script. I can tell you today less than a minute in I can’t speak today. It took me five tries to do that Kimmel joke. Jimmy Fallon said, I read the Trump administration as started a panic about the rising price of oil. Yeah, apparently Trump is so worried he can barely sleep through his meetings.

Great, great joke. I’ll do my Oscar preview tomorrow. But I am so excited because you know who’s going to be the announcer this year. This is the greatest idea ever whoever came up with this? Oh, we gotta say about this Stephen Colbert article on a second, because this is not really a lead story.

This is just Johnny max is excited about this thing. But you know who’s going to be the voice announcer for the Oscars. Matthew Berry. Now, if you’re like, who’s that, he’s the guy from Toast of London. He’s one of the vampires on what we do in the Shadows.

He has that wonderful, boisterous voice. Oh, I can’t wait. And Victoria Clark in Vulture, she’s a big fan. I remember doing Matthew Berry’s stuff to kill time during the pandemic. She used to write about him all the time.

She explains, very singular talent for pronunciation has made him something of a walking meme. His talents have already reinvented the way people think about words like New York City and yes, okay, yes. Hey Steven, that was really good. Feeling is here that you can be a bit more positive? More positive?

Yeah? Really go for it? You want me to go for it? All right? Yes, very very good.

Let’s just try without the scripts, by just loosening you up a little bit. Yeah, I mean it’s what is it? One word you do need? I probably don’t need the scripts. It’s just a word.

Yeah, Okay, let’s do it again. Yes? Is that right? Yes? Right, she writes.

His inclusion in this weekend’s Conan O’Brien hosted ceremony suggests that this year’s Oscars will fully embrace some much needed levity, and he’s trying times still. This news has sparked more questions than answers. Will Berry announce the category names, will you appear on camera? And most importantly, will he be given artistic license to pronounce words as he sees fit? Oh?

I can’t wait? All right? Uh? In Variety, Daniel de Dario throwing the gauntlet down the headlined Stephen Colbert’s long late show good oh I has gone from resistance to ego trip and Johnny Mack does not disagree. Here there was a time when I would have supported Stephen Colbert’s candidacy for office, but he has decided to become a star trek Ruiner, and we don’t like star trek Ruiners around here.

To Dario writes, Earlier this week, John Lithgow appeared on the show Blah Blah blah, and did something the guests on the show been doing a lot lately. He paid extensive tribute to the host. To Dario writes, Colbert’s removal from the air when it was announced last July was legitimately seismic news for the industry and for an audience who saw him as a crucial voice for the anti Trump resistance since the twenty sixteen election. What has ended up making it to air has been an increasingly puffy tribute to the show’s own host, the endless bouquets being tuss Colbert’s way had started to make the studio smell a bit cloying. With everything else going on in the world, we have to go through a month’s long celebration of life for comedian news job is coming to an end.

This tone necessarily comes from the top, rights to Dario, guests generally don’t just show up on talk shows and spontaneously do it whatever they want. Their appearances are choreographed in concert with the show’s production team watching the show, though one doesn’t get the sense Colbert really minds. Finally, there is the sheer pragmatic angle. Colbert will have an xt act the same future point. When that day comes, well, don’t feel like an anti climax after we’ve already spent the better part of a year celebrating him.

Fellow late night er Jimmy Kimmel will be one of the presenters at this weekend’s OSCARS. That’s pretty interesting. Your host is Conan O’Brien. We’ll do oscar stuff tomorrow, but Conan O’Brien is on the Kelsey Brothers podcast New Heights. Johnny Mack will work that into this episode title always good for SEO.

Hello new people, Hope you like the show. Push the follow button. At one point during the conversation, Conan interrupts to note that he hears kids in the background. He seems confused. Jason Kelsey explains that the kids are playing downstairs.

Conan said, if you want, Jason, I will totally scream at them for you. Jason asked Kylie Kelsey, who which one’s making noise. Conan wants to scream at them real quick. Jason said, I’m getting a no from my wife. Conan O’Brien said, okay, I respect her for that.

Note. You know what it’s for the best, because your children would be scarred for life. That say, why do that orange haired woman yell at us? And that lady was so mean. I was watching Scrubs with my wife Wednesday night and they put on a promo for the Oscars, and my wife reacted to Conan O’Brian’s appearance, saying he got old, and I’m like, he’s sixty something.

Now, Oh, it is ConA in sixty three. Let me look that up, sixty two. It’ll be sixty three on April eighteenth. I was feeling old earlier. Today.

I went for just routine blood work, you know, annual physical kind of thing. And boy, when I was giving my age, so my birth year is sixty nine, which just sounds like doesn’t that just sound like a zillion years ago at this point? Like even you know, I’m sure a lot of you listen are probably I’m just profiling you born in the seventies. Even if I said, like nineteen seventy, I would feel so much younger. But that’s six yikes.

All right, here’s some fun, and I like fun. Bill Burr, remember him. Bill Burr and or his social media team thought it’d be a great idea to go on Facebook and post Rhode Island pre sales now live with Code Burr and the comments did not disappoint. You may recall last summer, Bill Burr was one of the comedians who played THERIODD Comedy Festival. You may recall Johnny Mack has said on the record that Bill probably had the worst year of any big time comedian last year.

Just Bill did not help himself. Some of the comments. One asked, did you ask your wife it was okay to leave the house for this? Another said, man, I can’t wait to hear the latest wife approved jokes. One person said, I bet it’s a shame you can’t perform in Iran now, huh Bill.

A couple of people refer to him as Billy Burka, Billy Bonesaw. Some more straightforward comments, I remember when Bill used to be funny. No, it’s just a clown dance. Clown dance another road. I’ve lost out a lot of respect for Bill.

I’m not listening to him like I used to. More nicknames dollar Bill, Billy, Blood, money Bag, Dad, Billy and oh Billy can’t admit he’s wrong Burr. Bill Burr’s Facebook In case you’re bored from The New York Times. The headline Joe Rogan says Trump supporters feel betrayed by Iran war. No Way, No.

Rogan, who The New York Times reminds us, endorsed Donald Trump in twenty twenty four and said that he still texts with the President on occasion. Rogan said, it just seems so insane. He ran on no more wars and these stupid senseless wars, and then we have one that we can’t even really clearly define why we did it. So it sounds like Joe Rogan is surprised that the candidate he endorsed isn’t doing what he said he was going to do. No Way, No Way.

Joe Rogan went on to talk about the capturing of the Venezuelan president Nicholas Maduro. Joe Rogan said, neither thing made any sense. They go in, kidnap him, get him out. This one’s nuts. You may recall the President went on THEO Vaughan’s podcast at one time.

Well, if you want to see if THEOVONN head on out tomorrow, it’s the Baton Rouge Saint Patrick’s Day parade. THEOVONN will be joined by LSU head Football coach Lane Kiffen, the forty first wearin of the Green Baton Rouge. Saint Patrick’s Day Parade kicks off at eleven am. Comedy stock Market. Burt Reynolds is the voice of the Comedy stock Market.

Thank you Burt Reynolds. Now that’s actually Burt Reynolds. There’s an AI service that for some reason made Burt Reynolds voice available, and I’m like. Oh, use that on Comedy stock Market. Here’s what we do.

We try and find value in comedians, like you know, like when you buy stocks, you buy low and you sell high. So this isn’t necessarily who’s good or bad, it’s just where the value is. And I think we should buy a little Will Ferrell. Now I know that sounds crazy because he’s a comedy superstar, but he’s been quiet for a bit and he’s gonna have this Netflix show. And I think the combination of Will Ferrell, Netflix and the Netflix audience, the kind of people who like Adam Sandler movies, I think that is just going to be a winner.

So let’s buy some Will Ferrell before everybody else figures that out. Let’s buy some Derek Stroop. Did you watch his special during the week that was fantastic. Let’s skew oop some stroop. Let’s buy up some Bobby Lee.

Now, if you listen to this show, you’re like, yeah, we all know Bobby Lee, but nobody else knows Bobby Lee. Like he’s comedy famous, but he’s not famous. And if he’s going out on tour, he’ll be doing a lot of press and then all of a sudden people will be like, who’s this Bobby Lee guy? So your friends are going to figure out who Bobby Lee is. So I think Bobby Lee is a really good comedy stock market value for this week, and I think we should buy even more Chris Fleming.

I know we’ve been buying Chris Fleming every week, but you saw two weeks ago, was it two weeks ago? That was a really good purchase. So let’s buy even more Chris Fleming. Everybody seems into him. He’s peaking.

There’s gonna be a moment where it’s time to sell all our Chris Fleming. But right now, let’s scoop up a little bit more. He had a really good Jimmy Kimmel appearance that late night are described Chris Fleming is looking like a deranged hybrid of Big Bird and a gender fluid Howard Stern and Boy That does nail It. Chris is also on the wild Card podcast, one of the two hundred and ninety plus hours of podcasts that I’m going to listen to someday. But I actually listen to things this week because it was warm in the and I were out for an hour long walk, which is when I catch up on things, So I’ll get to all those.

And Conan O’Brien should be on this list. Definitely not a cell, but I feel like everybody else knows about this Conan O’Brien fellow, so I think we’re just gonna hold on Conan. I don’t think there’s much upside to him hosting the Oscars this year than people going, yeah, Conan’s great. There’s definitely some downside, but nothing makes me think that the Oscars will go poorly for Conan. So let’s hold.

So. The comedy stock Market this week is by Will Ferrell, by Derek Stroop, by Bobby Lee, by Chris Flemings. Hold Conan O’Brien, no seals this week. Thought about throwing Gabe in there, but I didn’t. South By Southwest Comedy is kicking off.

I think this was just added because I had looked at this yesterday and I don’t think I saw these here. Bill Burr mentioned it earlier. He’s recording the Monday Morning podcast. He’ll be live at Esther’s at two o’clock, so probably a good opportunity to get some guests there and then at eight fifteen and also at Esther’s and here you can hear all the cool just being drained out of the room. Here’s the title Fox Entertainment Studios Comedy Showcase featuring the Dress Up Gang and Friends, hosted by Bill Burr.

Do you hear Bill burg going corporate? Do you hear it? I mean who he had the worst twenty five? I’m not sure he’s having a good twenty six At ten pm, which is very late, I’d be in better at it. You can add over to Esther’s Follies and go see my favorite lyrics live with Devin Walker.

Talk more about south By tomorrow as there’s a lot in there. And that is your comedy news for today, and I’ll see you tomorrow.