Daily Comedy News Podcast Transcripts

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media, Heidlee Ho, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Bourbon entrepreneur Jim Gaffigan tweet did catch me and this all star lineup with the Hollywood bol May first and second part of the Netflix as a joke festival in the image which looks a little rat packy Nate Bergatsy, Sebastian Maniscalco, Jerry Seinfeld and Jim Gaffigan. We’re gonna be hearing a lot from Jerry in the upcoming weeks as he’s got this Pop Tarts movie coming out. GQ did a profile of Jerry I’ll pick a way at over the next few days. Jerry talked about the Curb finale and he said, as I drove home that night, my scalp was just tingling.

I thought what we had done was just the coolest, wildest, most remarkable thing. Says, it’s the callback to end all callbacks. When you have that joke that was set up twenty five years ago and then paid off twenty five years later, how do you even describe something like that, I’ll describe it. It was okay, Sorry, Jerry switching to Pop Tarts. GQ had a bunch of questions for Jerry, and I’ll bust out.

I haven’t done this in a while. Half ass angry Jerry Seinfeld impression. GQ asked, what’s so funny about breakfast everything? I love the great dumbness of life, GQ. There’s dumbness everywhere.

Why do you keep returning to this corner of it? There is dumbness everywhere? But I really do love Cereal. I love the witness and the crudginess. I love spots.

I love balls. When I was saying, oh my ketch it out, keep a ball the spode and my friends would laugh, why we take it out of the ball. That’s where it’s going GQ. Larry David told me that it was because there’s a K in breakfast. Jerry says, everybody knows that K is the funniest letter.

Gary Coleman said that recently. Jerry said, oh yeah, everybody knows. Kay. Or see, it’s the sound when you’re trying to get people’s attention in a crowded nightclub, they can hear K. All right, Jerry?

Why a movie because they wouldn’t put me in mad Men. I love that kind of comedy. I love office comedies. I love stupid people in suits, and it was COVID. I had nothing to do, so I got talked into it.

It wasn’t my idea. Seinfeld wasn’t my idea either. I kept getting dragged into things and surrounded by the most amazing people. These movie people are unbelievable. They’re insane.

Like we had a prop master. She had a room and it was Florida ceiling toys and bikes and clothes from that era. Everybody does their job one hundred fifty percent. It’s weird. Jerry’s getting some pickup from this interview his comments on the movie business industry.

Jerry said, they’re so dead serious. They don’t have any idea that the movie business is over. They have no idea that is making the trades. Jerry says film does not occupy the pinnacle and the social cultural hierarchy that it did for most of our lives. When a movie came out, if it was good, we all went to see it, We all discussed it, We quoted lines and scenes we liked.

Now we’re walking through a fire hose of water just trying to see Disorientation replaced the movie business. Everyone I know in show business every day is going, what’s going on? How do you do this? What are we supposed to do? Now?

I’ve done enough stuff that I have my own thing, which is more valuable than it’s ever been. Stand up is like you’re a cabinet maker and everybody needs a guy who’s good with wood. There’s trees everywhere, but to make a nice table, it’s not so easy. So the metaphor is, if you have good craft and craftsmanship, you’re kind of impervious to the whims of the industry. Audienceers are now flocking a stand up because it’s something you can’t fake.

It’s like platform diving. You could say you’re a platform diver, but in two seconds we can see if you are or you aren’t. So that’s interesting. Later in this segment, I’m going to play a clip from Rogan, So just remember what Jerry just said there because it’s gonna be relevant later. Jerry said, that’s what people like about stand up.

They can trust it. Everything else is fake. Unfrosted. I can’t remember that. I keep calling it pop towards movie unfrosted, Netflix, May third, random stray thought, just I threw it here in my script, Helper, Remember Conan O’Brien just dropped a travel show on HBO Max Max, HBO Max.

Did that have any impact on popular culture at all? Other than a few days before there were a ton of Conan articles, But like, did anyone watch it? Is anyone talking about it? It just kind of came and went and happened. And remember when Conan gave up the TBS show, was like, Oh, he’s gonna have a show on HBO, and we were waiting years for it.

It just kind of happened. Does anyone care? Gabe Iglesias has inked a two stand up deal with Netflix. The first we’ll tape at the Hard Rock in Hollywood, Florida in July twelfth through the fourteenth. No dates on those.

The eight hundred Padungerilla had a bunch of people at Moon Tower and they reviewed a few shows, and I thought i’d share what they said. As for Shane Gillis, they said he’s handling the transition into being an arena comic with certain ease on stage. You talked about what goes into picking an intro song, why he should be a high school football coach. We’ve heard him do that before. Accidentally sending nude Snapchat photos different topic when you stop being friends with your mom and opening a down syndrome coffee shop, as well as a joke that Lorne Michaels woudn’t let him tell.

In his monologue Eight hundred Pound Gorilla writes, if there’s an earnestness to gill Us on stage, there’s anything, but when it comes to Martin or Bono, if you’ve never seen Orbono stand up before, it’s far easier to explain by recommending you watch a few clips first. By design, Orbano’s act consists of a persona that doesn’t necessarily translate well into reading. Oh, I’m sure my third hand recap of this show is going to really convey what he does. That’s because the beauty of what he does is in the delivery, as he satirizes the brogue culture, misogyny, and much more that you need to witness in order to fully grasp what he’s doing. So even if I play you audio, I guess we have to go.

So see Martin o’brano. They also went to see Burbiglia. Barbiglia has that gift as a storyteller to keep you truly invested from start to finish. So much that it doesn’t feel like it’s been a full hour by the time he’s done. It’s effortless.

That was precisely the vibe we got from his show last weekend. The show was completely sold out, comprised of his large fan base, some of whom had told me they’ve seen him many times before. Some of the topics for Biggs did included what a different time it is for parenting versus how when he was raised. Okay, I mean I heard that kind of material at the bar every week, I hear it in my car on the weekend. I see it on the internet.

Hopefully for Biggs did the good version of that. That is not the most original material. You know, back in the seventies, we just all piled into the station wagon and we didn’t have seat belts in the back seat. Dad slammed the brakes and you went fly to the glasses like you’ve heard that, right, You’ve heard that bit, But I don’t know. For Bigs probably did a good version of it.

The emotion of being a parent, realizing how little he actually knows, balancing the calendar to make time for your spouse, how the DARE program is a double negative. We Dare You Not to Do Drugs? And a parody song he wrote in high school to the tune of Bust to Move the title to Bust Them Drugs. Andrew Santino is going to get a pop this week. He’s going on Travis Kelcey’s New Heights podcast.

Santino shared a video on his Instagram story where he’s with Travis Kelcey. You know, Travis Kelcey is dating Taylor Swift Now. One time at the Golden Globes, Joe Coy made a joke about Taylor. But I’m not playing it for you because you don’t appreciate recurring jokes. Santino discussed how he came up with his Cheeto nickname.

We also learned from Santino how he came up with the nickname Cheeto.

All right, here’s that clip of Joe Rogan that I mentioned yesterday.

The guest here is I’ve frozen his name. I wanted to say Chris Tucker. It’s not Chris Tucker, it’s Tucker Carlson, two totally different people. Doesn’t really matter that Tucker’s there, but that’s the other voice. You hear Joe Rogan talking about joke thieves and then how Chris Rock uses the writer’s room, and this will take you all the way to the break.

I think creativity is in everybody. It’s just a matter of percent. It’s in everybody. It just requires honesty. Yeah, and any impediment to creativity is line sure.

And yeah, I used to say that about joke thieves, that one of the real problems with joke thieves is when they get caught and then they have to write their own material. And the problem is they don’t understand the language. They just know how to say the sounds. Like if you told me what to say in French, I can’t speak French. But if you told me what to say and I practice it and I said it right, you think, wow, that guy speaks French.

Yes, So that’s what comedy’s like. So if you got a guy who knows how to repeat other people’s jokes, but he does know how to create him. See, comedy is one of the rare things where someone when it, Like you get a guy like Shane Gillis. That guy writes his own stuff. He edits it it, he thinks it out in his head, he performs it, he produces it.

He changes the order of things that it’s a complete Everybody does it pretty much the same way. There’s a few guys that hire writers, and there’s that’s honorable. There’s nothing wrong with the hiring writer. And it’s also gives jobs to other comics, because some comics are just really good writers and then not so good at performing. And so people will work on stuff, they’ll collaborate on stuff.

Like Chris Rock would do this thing where he would hire comics and they didn’t write the jokes for him, but they would be like guys. He would bounce stuff off, so he would have his ideas, he would go on stage, and then after a set they would all meet and they would talk about the set, and you know, guys would have taglines like you could say this, oh great, and they write that down they’re adding. So it’s a collaboration. So you have the master. You have Chris Rock, who is so open minded and intelligent and humble that he brings in other masters and says, tell me what I’m doing wrong.

So the Webby Awards happened all of a sudden. There was a press release going, Hey, here’s everybody who won the Webby Awards, and I’m kind of eye rolling this thing. Because you have to pay to enter and they give away so many awards it’s like, are you even really winning anything or is it just you know? Best podcast? Released by Johnny Mack on a Wednesday.

The nominees are this episode and last week’s episode. Give us the two hundred and fifty dollars so you can be in our little thing. I’m just gonna read comedy related ones and this will give you an idea for how many trillions might be an acassination trillions of categories. There are the Webby Award for Comedy, Comma show, parentheses, podcasts, all right, comedy podcasts. What show do you think won the Webby Award?

You can guess for the rest of the year, and you’re never gonna come up with us never ever, ever. I’ve never even heard of this show. And aside from like I suck, I’ll remind you I work in podcasting. I’ll remind you that I’ve hosted the show for almost five years now, and before that all my time it’s serious. But for the last five years, every day I google the words comedy and comedian and I must suck because I’ve never heard of The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya.

Anyway, that won the Webby Award for Best Comedy Show Podcasts. The People’s Voice Award for Comedy Comma Shows Parentheses podcast went to ConA and O’Brien. The Webby Award for Featured Guest comm My Individual Episodes Parentheses Podcasts went to kat Williams. Yeah, that was pretty good. The Webby Award for Comedy Comma Individual Episodes Podcasts went to Las Culturistas, Ohen Yang Matt Rodgers.

All right, so that’s already four things that are like made up categories. Can we just do like Best Comedy Podcasts and be done with it? Saturday Night Live won the Webby Award for Events and Live Streams General Video. Parentheses Video The Simpsons, Maggie Simpson and Rogue not Quite One won the Webby Award for Comedy Comma Branded Entertainment. Parentheses Video twenty one spelled out and then twenty one the numbers, so twenty one twenty one, A black af scripted audio comedy, won the Webby Award for Best Indie Podcast.

Limited Run Comma Features Parentheses Podcasts. You Excited? John Stewart brought out his fastball on Monday I’m sure it’s a combination of he feels passionate about this and the numbers it down a little bit. But he took a shot at the rest of the media a segment called ark is Most Tremendously Wanted. John Stewart said that the current trial of Donald Trump will obviously be a test to the fairness of the American legal system, but it’s also a test of the media’s ability to cover Donald Trump in a responsible way, a task they have acknowledged that they’ve performed poorly in the past.

He then played some clips from people on CNN and MSNBC. He then mocked them and said, so brave, well done. Stuart said, perhaps if we limit the coverage to the issues at hand and try not to create an all encompassing spectacle of the most banal of details, perhaps that would help. Then he played some clips of cable news showing Trump arriving and leaving court each day. John said, seriously, we’re going to follow this guy to court every day?

Are you trying to make this O? J Simpson, It’s not a chase he’s commuting. So the media’s first attempt, the very first attempt on the first day of the trial, it’s self control. It failed. Here at the Basement Podcast Company, we’ve actually ramped up the ballot podcasts.

We figure John Stewart’s gonna get mad at us, but we figured, hm, Trump plus porn star plus trial probably some good comedy there. So we’re going to be putting out episodes daily for a little bit ballot to get your shows. Sydney Comedy Festival begins. I know you’re like, John, you never talk about Australian comedy. Well, we got another festival.

My takeaway here so unlike the Melbourne Festival, where every day I clicked on the website and I was like, oh, this thing hasn’t loaded yet. Today I actually prepared. I pulled three days worth of clips for myself, so I have my act together today and I’ll tell you the same thing I said for Melbourne. Something’s broken in the United States. Because I’m playing these clips of comedians.

The comedians happened to be women and they’re all wonderful. So something’s wrong in the States where women comedians are underrepresented or not getting a shot, or there’s something in the water in Australia. I don’t know, but I’m looking at the Australian comedy scene and going wow, there are a lot of really funny women. One of the women at the Sydney Festival, and I’m not stupid. She’s not Australian.

The festival is Australian. Is Fern Brady? You watched her on Netflix the other day, didn’t you. Well, she’s at the Sydney Festival. The Scotsman said.

She’s absolutely fearless. There’s nowhere she won’t go and nothing she won’t say on stage, and she’ll switch from snarling and menacing the sweet and girlish in an instant. The Evening Standard four stars. She is distinctly acerbic and skating, but most importantly hugely entertaining to let’s listen. I finally got diagnosed autistic.

It’s actually been really hard for me because there’s not a lot of representation of hot women within the autistic community. So be the change you want to see in the world. I guess it’s just me and great a Funberg representing and it makes sense because a lot of stuff people do seems really alien to me. Like a lot of my friends are getting married now and I keep saying that my boyfriend, who’s like my translator for human behavior. Why are all these people we know getting married?

And he justifies it the way a lot of people justify it. He says, they’re getting married firm because they want the opportunity to declare their love for one another in front of Oh they’re family. I’m laughing because I would actually have to be on ecstasy to do something like that. Yeah, why don’t I make her sex tape? But what my emotions?

That was a good clip. That’s actually better than the Netflix teaser that I played the other day. All right, Kirsty Webeck, I think I played her for Melbourne and I think this is a different clip. I’m kidding, Old the brain fills up. Her show is called I’ll be the Judge of That.

She’s recently learned more about her relationship with Farmers, She’s had a harrowing experience with classical music, and a special thing happened to her at the airport. The Sydney Morning Herald says, consistently enjoyable and impossible to dislike. Let’s listen. I was in the supermarket recently in a small child yelled out at me how you look like a man? And I said, can you play so much?

To my boss. So it’s reflected in my pie. Just boom, just just got him. I didn’t even have a boss. You know.

Well in your face. In all four you’ll find the tape, coffee and some sass about the gender pay gap. I don’t mind things like that though, Like sometimes I like to walk into the Maya makeup counter just to see four sales assistants have no idea what to do. I was in an uber recently and the driver said to me, I thought your name was Kirsty and I said it is and I thought this is going to be good, and he said, ah ha, yeah, ha, we are right. I was just I thought Kirsty was a girl’s name, and there was not enough time to explain that gender is a social construct, so I said it is a girl’s name.

And In Today’s a non controversy controversy from The New York Post, a British comedian has sparked to beat after mocking his pregnant wife’s walk. Daniel O’Reilly, who goes by Damper Laughs, filmed his heavily pregnant wife in a supermarket while making fun of her gait. The TikTok has gone viral. Boy I hope the government doesn’t shut down TikTok, because then we won’t get videos like this anymore. In the TikTok video, Daniel asks why pregnant women walk like they’re about to start a scrap.

She looks like she’s just come out of a pub, had ten stell of ears, and she’s deep on the pub grub. The wife tells the comedian to shut up. Some of the comments. One user wrote, because we’re in pain, baby is heavy and pushing down. Another user said because there’s literally a bowling ball between my legs.

Someone else said it’s a level of discomfort you can’t understand unless you’ve lived it. Another said I was about to get defensive being a heavily pregnant woman, but I’m crying laughing, and that is your comedy needs for today. I put out another substack on Tuesday, and there’s another one out on Wednesday. The link is in the show notes. It’s mcdeepod dot substack dot com.

If you want to read me rambling about various topics. Yesterday was about Netflix streaming. Wednesdays is about Oh, this whole thing with Megan Mark and her selling jam. It is so entertaining. We’ve been covering that over on the Palace Intrigued podcast, But if you want to read about it, that’s in the substack today.

The substack is free, so you know, subscribe and the email show up in your inbox and you could be like, I’m sick of Johnny Mack. Just delete it. That’s your comedy needs for today, See tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello. A lot of feisty stuff today, which is how I like it. Hi, I’m Johnny Mack with your daily common News, Quick quick housekeeping. So if you listen every day, you know, normally the A bloc I have like the more newsy things, and then the after the commercial, I get a little far afield.

Today, a lot of stuff that’s normally an A. I moved to B because A is only going to be feisty stuff and big, huge news which starts with Kat Williams. His special on Netflix. May fourth will be live on Netflix. It is called Woke Folk Saturday, May fourth, ten pm Eastern.

Now, I’m supposed to be in Cleveland on May fourth, and I would be driving back at ten pm. So if you’re in Cleveland and you thick up showing up, Hey news for you. I’m watching Kat Williams. Now I’ll be there. Somebody in Cleveland, just freak the hell out.

I’m coming. Relax so A no, true, Well, there is a trailer there, but it’s naughty, so I’m not going to share it with you. The very next night, Sunday, May fifth, That eight’s Eastern. The Roast of Tom Brady here’s a clip. The Man the Arena.

The Roast of Tom Brady Live on Netflix. No helmets, no mercy, no Brady Rule, no problem. The Greatest Roast of all Time, Tom Brady Live, hosted by me Kevin Hart with the lineup of surprise guests. We’re coming for you, pretty boy. I’m unroastable.

Let’s go now. If you were to watch that clip, which you cannot do here because this is an audio podcast, there is no visual component. To me, it looks like an AI generated Tom Brady visually, but that seems to be his voice anyway. Tom Brady The Greatest Roast of All Time at May fifth, eight pm Eastern on Netflix. It’s unclear who is participating yet other than Kevin Hart and Jeff Ross.

Guys, check the calendar. How’s this thing that book yet? Or are you just not telling us? I would hope somebody like Bill Burr, right, Boston comedian, And you don’t hope somebody like that’s going to be part of this, but we’ll see.

All right, Let’s move on to the feisty section.

Last Friday, fifteen audience members disrupted Chelsea Handler’s show. They were making pro Palestine comments. According to a spokesperson for the Richmond Police Department, about fifteen people in the audience showed up at the seven o’clock show, and they disrupted the show with comments described as pro Palestine. Additional officers were requested to the theater just before eight thirty pm. Those officers asked the group to leave.

One of the fifteen refused to leave. According to police, that person was then arrested on charges of disorderly conduct and removed from the theater. Chelsea Handler, you know used to date Joe Coy and Joe once hosted the Golden I’m not doing it. You want me to do it, I’m not doing it. I’m not doing it.

The afore mentioned Kevin Hart was on Sixty Minutes interviewed by Anderson Cooper. Anderson Cooper noted the GQ has reported Kevin Hart’s height as five to five. The La Times has it at five four, and Cooper said, and some other places said you were five to two. Heart joked, well that place is bs. GQ finally got it right.

I’m five foot five like well, a shoe on like a sneaker. Now if I put a boot on, I can get to five to five and a half. Kevin explained why he incorporates short jokes into his routine. He says, it’s talking about the things that you aren’t afraid to laugh about yourself. I’m really confident the laugh that I’m getting you’re not laughing necessarily at me, as if I’m a joke.

You’re laughing at the experience. I’m giving you an experience through a story that’s relatable. And more importantly, I’m saying things that other people just don’t have the heart to say exactly. The joke isn’t haha, Kevin Hart short, it’s just a generic short joke, like a Biden old joke is just a generic old joke, and Biden’s the mechanism to get us there. Anderson Cooper asked Vin Hard if he’s a billionaire, and the answer, none of your business.

So you’re trying to get me robbed. I think the better side to what I’ve done is to create and what can become the new norm for other people in the business of funny, for other people in the business of entertainment, right not just being part of the business, but learning and understanding how to be the business. Cooper asked Kevin Hard about the controversy a few years ago. You remember, Kevin was supposed to host the Oscars, but was forced to step down when some homophobic comments that he had made in social media and in his act had surfaced. One of those comments, quoting Kevin Art here, I’m not homophobic.

I have nothing against gay people. Be happy, do what you want to. But me, as a heterosexual male, if I can prevent my son from being gay, I will. Kevin Hart told Anderson Cooper that want of Pykes helped him realize the impact of his words. Heart told Cooper later on the understanding came from the best light bulb ever.

Wanda Sykes said, there’s people that are being hurt today because of comments like the ones you made then, and there’s people that are saying it’s okay to make those comments today based off what you did. It was presented to me in a way where I couldn’t ignore that in those moments of despair, great understanding and education can come out of it if you’re given the opportunity. None of that seems to include the word sorry, but that’s between Kevin and Anderson. In Australia, comedian ARJ Barker reportedly kicked out a breastfeeding mother from his show, Yeah, and the baby too. It would be weird if he kicked out the breastfeeding mother and left the baby there for the rest of the show.

That would be probably a worst not probably would a worse story. No, he kicked out the breastfeeding mother and her newborn baby. This at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. The seven month old baby made a few gurgling sounds. The mom, Trish, told one of the radio stations, I was sitting there and she gurgled a bit, the equivalent of someone was coughing.

According to the mom, Barker stopped and acknowledged the baby before he correct a few jokes about the situation. Mom says at the end of the skit of a little baby in the room, he said, I speak baby, and she said, take me outside. At that point I was like, I don’t think he’s joking about that. Barker approached the mom for a second time due to the disturbance. The mom said, I was actually breastfeeding when he came and stood in front of me and he was basically telling me to leave.

People were laughing, and I don’t think he was joking, So I said to him do you actually want me to leave? And he said, yes, I do. A group of ten or twelve people, including one man, walked out of the eight hundred and sixty three seat auditorium over the humiliated mother’s departure. A relative of the mom went on Twitter and said, thanks to the countless women and one grandfather who left in protest. Are the countless?

So I guess they are because we don’t know if it’s ten or twelve. Let’s say it’s either nine to ten or eleven women. Not quite countless, but I digress. Thanks to the countless women and one grandfather who left in protest. Atrocious.

You’re in city of Melbourne at an international comedy festival. Have an ounce of respect. A woman has purchased a ticket for night out with her sister and her friend to laugh and enjoy herself, and you badger her and encourage her to leave and get a refund. The mom said she didn’t face an issue when she’s brought her baby to see Dave Hughes. Barker, in a statement This is Great said the show is strictly aged fifteen plus, as clearly stated on the ticket site.

I don’t know if he was yelling like I am, but it’s funnier this way. This show is strictly aged fifteen plus. Has clearly stated on the ticket site she had an infant with her. The baby was disrupting my performance on behalf of the other seven hundred people who paid to see the gig. I politely told her that baby couldn’t stay.

She thought I was kidding, which made the exchange a bit awkward. Feel bad about the whole situation, and stated this on the night more than once. I offered her a refund. Theater staff should not have seated baby in my audience in the first place. All right, this next one spoilers is gonna go sideways and kind of annoyed me.

From Vulture. Joel Kim Booster got to experience the power of the thumbs down this on four to twenty. He was headlining the Kennedy Center as part of Asian af and Asian American Variety show. Okay, we got the set up here. Now this is where I get annoyed.

While performing, Joel Kim Booster was heckled by an audience member who expressed his distaste by throwing out the thumbs down. A photo of the interaction was posted on Twitter that night, and the people on Twitter had fun with it. The photo told the story, says Vulture, with Booster appearing to be midfight with the heckler. Booster tweeted in response that night the fact that I have to deal with this crap at the Kennedy Center of all places. This is not community.

All right, let’s take a time out so we’re all outrage, right, Who is this jerk disrupting Joel Kim Boosters show at the Kennedy Center of all places. That’s ridiculous. But wait, and this is where I don’t want to encourage anyone. But if you turn on Joel Kim Booster now, I wouldn’t be like, Oh, I can’t believe you turned on Jewel Kim Booster. That’s not cool.

You see, the reality of the situation, according to Vulture, was much different. A video of the interaction surface the next day on April twenty first, revealing it had been staged by Booster himself. It was crowd work, Booster says on stage, I need someone in the front to stand up and pretend like you’re a heckler and wear in a fight. Booster then apparently tried out a few outrage poses that’s lame, dude, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame. And I’ve been at shows where there’s plants in the audience to move stuff around.

But if you do so, if you do that during your show, like I don’t know, I don’t know if he would do this, but Dan Booblet junior friend of the show. If I got a Dan show and he goes, hey, do me a favorite, get up and say you know I’m ugly, just so I can slam you back. I’ve been at shows where that sort of thing happens. But if you like, then take that fake clip and put it on social media and act like this is the thing that actually happened. That’s lame.

More feistiness comedian Elaine Boosler. Remember Elaine Boosler was the last time you heard that name? Anyway, She says she was handcuffed and nearly thrown in the slammer is the word being used after showing up to the Dodger game on Sunday. She said she went there to see Dodgers versus Mets, but was stopped by, in her opinion, a power hungry stadium security guard over her baseball theme purse. Have you been to a baseball game in the last decade.

Yeah, I agree, there are power hungry stadium security people. I don’t go to games anymore. Like I’m a Mets fan. You’re not allowed to bring a computer, Dude. I work in New York City.

I bring a laptop everywhere, and it’s not like there’s a good system for like, oh, I showed up at the stadium and I have a laptop here. Once you go to bag check or something not, you can’t bring it a bag. So I just don’t go to the games. Boozler said she was refused entry because the item didn’t meet the venue’s clear bag policy. She was told she’d either take it back to her car or throw it away.

I mean, they’re taking a back to your cars. Not the worst thing now here in New York City. If I went to a Mets game, I would take the subway from my job in Manhattan. There is no car. Boozler didn’t like this.

She felt she should get special treatment after all the free work she’s done for the team over the years, like singing the national anthem and participating in their celebrities softball games. She raised the stink. She was told she’d be arrested if she didn’t leave, and she replied, fine, arrest me. Boosler said she was cuffed and taken to the Dodger Stadium offices to be formally charged for trespassing. As she waited two hours to learn her fate, she made jokes that didn’t land well with the Dodgers police Gestapo whatever they wear.

Gestapo might be a little bit of a strong word there, Johnny Mack. Won’t you relax? Okay? Boozler said the officers were nice throughout the process, which she chalked up to white privilege. Boosler said she was told she wouldn’t have to go to jail she left the stadium, which she agreed to do.

She called a ride, all right, So now we know she didn’t have a car and got out of there. Boozler has called for the security guard to be fired. I wrote a couple substacks. The substack is free. The link is in the show notes.

What’s the substack, Johnny Mac? It’s a blog of sorts. I pontifica about the media. Mondays was all just honestly promoting the podcast company. Today’s is about streaming shows on Netflix et cetera, and a little bit about Taylor Swift.

Speaking about Taylor Swift, I listen to her new album over the weekend. Follow Taylor Swift Today wherever you get your podcast. They’ve been covering all the various deep dives on the Secret Messages. Now I have a theory about the song, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Media? Like that one?

That one stuck in my head. I think it’s about Joe Coy. You know why. One time Joe Coy host at the Golden Globe. But I’m not going there.

You guys don’t want me to do the joke. I’m not going to do the joke, not doing it. I had insomnia the other night and listen to a lot of podcasts. I really enjoyed Joe Rogan with Tucker Carlson. You thought I was gonna say Neil brnna know with Tucker Carlson.

Now, I am not a Tucker Carlson fan. I find Tucker Carlson to be the kind of guy that would chop in Springfield and try and sell them a mono rail. He seems like that kind of person to me. Never met him, but that’s how he comes across. Not a fan but when I have insomnia, I like things that aren’t loud.

And Joe and Tucker had a nice reasoned conversation. They talked about UFOs. I found it interesting. They talked about the homeless problem in Los Angeles and I thought some great points were made by both gentlemen. Then they got into what’s his name, the conspiracy guy, Alex Jones, and I was like, Eh, not really down on this section here, but it was a good listen.

I haven’t gotten a Neil Brandan yet. And at one point I forgot to pull it for today. Maybe I’ll pull it for tomorrow. Rogan started talking about joke thieves. I wrote a note to myself, I’ll pull that for tomorrow.

I’ll put it in the notes. Remind may Do that I’m behind on my Tim Dillon podcast listening. But the folks at OutKick has said that Dylan made fun of Disney adults, quoting Tim Dylon via OutKick. Apparently, Tim Dilan said, all the food in Disney World is bad. Like everything at Disney, it’s bad.

The rise aren’t even good. Nothing’s good. The reason you think it’s good is because you’re stupid. That’s why you think it’s good. Even if you have children, you should be rolling your eyes.

Your kids should be happy, should take a few photos. I’m not an artless person. The kid should be happy. The Mickey Mouse hugs your son or daughter, your non binary child, and you’d take a photo of them, and you’re happy. But that should last a few minutes, and then you should go.

It’s hots lines gross immediately. If anyone’s like, this is the most magical place in the world, anyone who says that, I want so far away from me. I also checked out whatever the new Lonely Island recap podcast with Seth Myers Whiz was It’s not good? I tried to listen to the episode of Lazy Sunday candidly, Seth’s not good at it. The Lonely Island eides might be great.

Seth is not good at hosting a podcast, so I bailed on that and unfollowed it. Conan O’Bryan apparently has Jimmy Carr. I’m guessing that because Conan tweeted at Jimmy Carr is one of the sharpest, quickest minds working in comedy today. So it was a pleasure to dig down deep in the mechanics of how a joke works and why the audience is a genius, and then Conan cheered a link. So that makes me think Jimmy Carr’s on Conan’s podcast, But I have not actually verified that with my own thumb yet.

We’ll keep an eye on this next one. George Lopez’s show over the Weekend at Ego, Man and Casino canceled due to a medical emergency. I tried to google a bit, couldn’t find out anymore. I hope you’re doing okay. George fern Brady’s new specials out on Netflix.

Here’s a clip. I love walking around at night after my gigs. I like to try and get my steps in. But if you’re a women who likes walking at night, I feel like every evening walk is tainted by thoughts of your own murder. He gets in the way of the distressing part.

I feel like you guys are like, no, we don’t think like that all the time. We just are normal, okay. Number one, There’s two reasons I feel frightened a lot when I’m walking around at night. Number One, I have a father who is unnaturally preoccupied with thoughts of my murder. I know that parents worry a lot, but hear me out.

Anytime I phone my dad on a walk, the first thing he says to me is, don’t get murdered and dream bigger and women in the audience. If you get nervous w to night, here’s a fact I comfort myself was and I’m always trying to comfort D with it, and he’s never comforted by it. Statistically, you’re so much more likely to be kelled by the guy you came to the gag weft tonight. So if anything, get your record and shoes on, get out of the door and get those steps in. That is fun.

The jokes are funny, but a long way to go for those jokes. Tighten it up a little bit from Fox News, your home for comedy news. Far left comedian and actor Michael Rappaport delivered a stern message to anti Israel college protesters and a social media post warning them they would help deliver former President Trump the election. In a video rap report said, you know it’s going to be great when D stained Donald Trump. Now I’m trying to figure out what D stained would even be.

D dash dash dash. I mean I have a guess of a four letter where it starts with D But what does that even mean? What is d stain? Am I missing something? When d stained Donald Trump gets elected and I ain’t saying voting for him, but when he does win and he’s gonna when the screaming and yelling that you F word, P word, A word, blow word, miserable, mother F word on college campuses are doing now, Michael, Michael chillax, Dude, that’s one, two, three, four, five words out of seven got bleaped.

You need to chill, he said. When the screaming and yelling that you people on college campuses are doing now, The screaming that you’re doing at Jews about free palace dying, the screaming that you’re doing at Zinus is nothing compared to the screaming you’re going to be doing come November when de stained Donald Trump wins presidency because of you, Because of you, that is Michael Rappaport via Fox News. Okay, sources tell the Hollywood Reporter that this Office reboot thing is actually happening. I suppose that they’ve cast two members of the ensemble comedy. One of them is Sabrina and Patchatory we know her from The White Lotus and Domal Gleeson from the Rise of Skywalker.

He’s General Hawks, isn’t he. Yeah, the redhead guy, that’s General Hawks. The wimpy guy. Well, he’ll be in the new, new, new office. It’s unclear where this will air.

It’s unclear when it will air. But it’s not like we’re back at dunder Mifflin. It’s a different office. Which is the way to do it, you know that way. I don’t know if you said in Scranton you happen to go to Kevin’s Bar.

You can do that kind of nonsense, but it should be its own thing. Oh my goodness, I just looked at the wraw time. All right, I’m dropping the final story. We’re done. I gotta go.

There’s a lot of content for not playing eighty five clips out of the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Okay, I’ll meet you back here tomorrow. How do I lock out? I can’t remember. I’m frenzied today.

What do I usually say here? See tomorrow? I guess I just say see you tomorrow, all right, see tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Did April not just start? How is it the twenty second? Already? It’s almost Mayhei am Johnny Meck with your Daily Comedy News.

Dave Chappelle has been added to the Abu Dhabi Comedy Week. It’ll be at the Eddie Hot Arena May twenty third if you want to attend. It’s his first show in the Capitol, although he has previously played Dubai. Back in twenty eighteen, after he played Dubai, the local paper wrote, well tested material is presented as first time observations as Chappelle languidly guided us into the issues that both amuse and concern him. But behind that casual banter is a supreme technician, a confident comic, knowing when to cut through the laughs with sharp observations and when to provide levity with some good old fashioned toilet humor.

Now, Abu Dhabi Comedy Week is no joke. Listen to who else is playing? Chris Tucker May twenty fifth, Andrew Schultz on the twenty second, The not so canceled Aziz I’m Sorry on the eighteenth, Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee joint show on the twenty first, boss Im Yusef and Mas Grabroni a joint show on the twenty fourth, Tom Sagora on the twenty fifth, and on May twenty sixth. It’s Joe Coy. You know Joe Coy.

He one time he hosted the Golden Globes.

Meanwhile, the Legion of Icee, I didn’t do it.

I didn’t do it. You thought I was gonna do it. The Legion of skanks Festival also know Joe. This one will be September twenty seventh to the twenty ninth in Vegas. But listen to this lineup the eighth annual skank Fest headliners Big Jay Okerson, Lewis, j Gomez, Dave Smith, Our Shafer, Shane Gillis, Tim Dillon, David Tell, Tony Hinchcliff Mark normand But the lineup includes so many people that I won’t be able to read them all.

I’ll read some Aaron Berg, Adrian Apple, Lucci that’s stealing, Bonnie McFarlane, Brian Redband, Chris Gettin, Craig Gas, Dan Cummins, Dan Soder, Dan Saint Germain, Dina Hashim. Again, I’m not reading. I’m reading about a third of the name here, Eddie Peppatone, Eric Griffin, Ester Steinberg, haven’t heard her name in a while. She’s good. Jermaine Fowler, Jim Norton didn’t make the headliner list, Joe DeRosa, Joe List, Keith Robinson, Kurt Metzger Morgan Murphy, Nick Vaderotz a very underrated comic, Rachel Feinstein, Rich Voss, Bobby Kelly, sam j Sean Patten, Steve ran As, Ezy TJ.

Miller, Johannest Pappas, Yamanika Saunders. I mean, come on huge.

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Also out of New Orleans, mL Willman will headline the third annual LGBT l O L…

I like that LGBT L O L. I am scanning the names here to see. You know, unless you’re like super into comedy, I don’t think you would recognize any of these names. But it looks like about twenty comedians here. That’s good.

Brad Williams says NBA star Blake Griffin could easily go from the NBA to Jokes now that Brallike Griffin has retired. Brad Williams told TMZ Sports he saw Blake if and do comedy in Montreal and he’s good, and I hate that because you can’t be good at everything. Williams says, Blake’s got great material to work with. Two. He was a former NBA obviously, and also an ex of a Kardashian.

The Stranger spoke to Logan Gunselman. I liked it. They’re set up here. This is what caught my attention. Logan Gunselman is the anti Jim Carrey, the polar opposite of Robin Williams.

She does not manically gesticulate, does not contort her face, and she eschewes impressions. Rather, she delivers jokes, sometimes quite dirty jokes, and a deep voice, a deadpan, and a poker face. They asked Logan about it, and she said, honestly, I didn’t know was deadpan. For a very long time. I thought I was performing like most stand ups, using inflection and changing my tone of voice.

But I kept getting compliments on my deadpan style of delivery. At first, I was frustrated because it wasn’t on purpose. I’m just kind of a monotone woman. But the longer I’ve done stand up, the more I’ve come to appreciate it. Logan says, I rarely talk about current events or politics, not because I think they’re taboo.

I’m just dumb. I’m impressed by stand up seeing craft good jokes about the news, but that’s not how my brain works. I don’t think any subject is taboo as long as the joke is really incredible. Most comedians who get in trouble for the problematic jokes aren’t in trouble because they made a joke. They’re in trouble because the joke they made isn’t funny.

So audiences are only focusing on the offensive parts of what they’ve heard. People will forgive a lot if it’s a truly excellent bit. You know. That makes me think of Jimmy Carr again. Some people don’t seem to get what Jimmy Carr does.

They asked her what comedian has been the most inspirational and influential for you now? Given the delivery, I would think, I don’t know, Stephen Wright or Mitch Heinberg, perhaps Dmitri Martin. Logan said, I know he’s huge now, but I’ve always loved Nate Berghatzy because he’s also a deadpan, lower energy comedian. Yeah, I guess he is. I love a bunch of comedians who are very different from me, but I’m always impressed by how good they are.

Kyle Kanaan, Lisa Trigger, Chris Estrada, Dave Waite, Chris Fairbanks, and honestly Kat Williams. Good article on Vulture about how long jokes are good, Jesse david Fox specifically called out the Kyle Kanaan fifteen minutes about FA and the Furious Movies that I think is an all timer, Jesse writes kylek When a brief lull sets in at the Minneapolis Acme Comedy Club, the raucous laughter, the crowds reaction of the f seven bid has gradually subsided, giving Kanain a moment to take a beat before saying, I’m just here to tell you one story. At this point, twenty five minutes have passed in Dirt Nap. The setup is humble. Canaan, ever, Midwestern is a humble guy making one of the most ridiculous under cells and stand up history Gossip Corner and on Gossip Corner, Pete Davidson and girlfriend Madeline Kleine are very much in love, says US Magazine.

A source tells US Weekly one of the reasons their relationship works so well is because they’re both independent and give each other space to miss each other. Hopefully Pete can patch things up with Colin. Jose told you that the other day that Colin and Peter having a faery fight of some sorts. Apparently, Peacock is staging the world’s first wildlife reality competition show. Why are they making The Hungry Games Alaska’s Big Bear Challenge?

I don’t know why am I telling you about it? It’s narrated by Reese Darby from Flight of the Concords. Do you hear the rumble coming into my voice? That’s because I recorded Saturday, Sunday, Monday back to back to back without any beverage. Here, got a little DJ fuzz on the voice now.

The Hungry Games Alaska’s Big Bear Challenge follows the bears of Alaska’s Katami National Park as they book up for winter hibernation. Over one hundred and fifty days, the bears battle the elements and each other, using brains and brawn to consume three million calories and gain up to two hundred pounds in nature’s real life survival show. Unbeknownst to the bears, their progress is being tracked and ranked for TV audience with a narration that combines fascinating facts with color. Commentary from Reese Darby ookay, that sounds really expensive to make. Why did you make that blonde medicine?

They’ve been putting out a lot of cool comedy albums. They’ve announced a debut album from Jeff Tice. Jeff Spells’s name Geoff. The album’s title Jokes with a G Out of Me on May seventeenth. Jeff got into comedy twelve years ago.

He went to an open mic and bombed, but never looked back. He’s a staple of the Denver scene. He’s opened for Nate Pergatsey, Dmitri mart and the Sclore Brothers and others. Jokes with a G is a collection of self deprecating stories about being a new parent, second weddings at his dad’s drunk late night calls. So this is where the festival stuff used to go.

As I warned you, the podcast is a little shorter when I’m not playing A million clips were back down to the twelve minute ish range. The eight hundred Pound Gorilla sent some folks out to catch a couple shows at Moontower for Nicole Bayer. The Gorilla says Nicole sett ran a wide range of topics. The New Hour featured jokes about meeting Tom Cruise, not knowing John Cena’s catchphrase what New Fat Is, loving porn, and being single. She also showed off her crowd work chops.

They also sent somebody to see Joe Parra. Unlike Buyer, Para wasn’t matching the audience’s energy or even a quarter of timid and humble. This was the Joe Parra that we came to see. He’s the definition of quirky. Parah ended the show by talking the audience to sleep.

In what has become a signature bit, Para did not succeed in putting the audience to sleep. Instead, he gave us a show that the crowd would certainly recall for years to come. Exclamation point and that is your comedy news for today. If you enjoy the program, tell a friend about it and they might like it too. See you tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Jim Gaffigan told People Magazine it was a huge mistake, and no, Jim wasn’t talking about his bourbon videos. No, he wasn’t talking about that. All.

He was joking about living in New York City with his family of seven. Jim says that his five children enjoyed growing up in New York, but says New York has changed. And with this, I agree with Jim Gaffigan who said it’s different, because now I’d love to walk a block in New York City and not smell weed. You know what I mean, Jim, I know what you mean. New York City in the olden times, I couldn’t stand the cigarette smoke.

I don’t smoke, and they would have no smoking in the building laws, and the smokers would stand at the doorway of the building you were trying to enter. I couldn’t get to work without being covered in smoke and complained of the building. They didn’t give a whot. You’d walk down the street, some idiot in front of you would start blowing smoke into the air. You get covered with So I hated New York City cigarette smoke.

But once they decriminalized weed New York City reeks, that’s not why you’re here. Stop branding. Jim Gaffigan said, when you’re in your twenties, you’re like, yeah, there should be no rules, and then when you’re a parent, you’re like, hey, maybe not every block. And of course I live in the East Village, so I’m kind of asking for it. Neil Brennan was asked if he’s nice.

He said, yes, but I’m also not that popular, you know what I mean. I’m sure there’s people that have some story about me that I’ll read the story and go like that didn’t happen. But whatever, I’m approaching it from a view of like, what are you talking about? When did that become the expectation.

Meanwhile, everyone’s got an iPhone and Steve Jobs was the biggest piece of c…

Neil apparently was accused of being up twenty four to seven texting comedians like Mike Birbiglia. That was said on Burbig’s podcast. Neil said, Ah, yeah, I heard those naughty people climbed that up a little say that Look they’ve gotten their final front line recommendation for me won’t happen again, fellas, won’t be making that mistake again. I’ll keep it for myself. He laughs.

Yes, I don’t have children, and I like sharing the wealth of media. I get to ingest as a single man. Well, I guess I have a girlfriend, but I don’t have children. Neil’s point is when he finds something funny, he wants to share it. Conan O’Brien was asked by the Hollood Reporter between SNL and Late Night, you worked with Lorne Michaels for twenty three years.

Do you think lorn is going to retire? Conan said, if you took an X ray of Lorne Michaels, you would see SNL in his bone marrow. I just don’t see it happening, and I don’t think anyone’s anxious for him to go anywhere. When FDR suddenly died in April from nineteen forty five had been president for thirteen years, there was a whole generation that only knew him. Lorn is the FDR of comedy retiring to his Blueberry form.

I’m not buying it now. My take on this is next year is the fiftieth anniversary. Nice round number, and Lorne Michaels will be eighty. Nice round number. If you’re not gonna get out, then you know, I don’t know.

Do you do fifty two years and retired eighty two? Maybe you get out take the victory lap, pass the Batona, Tina Fey or Seth Myers, whoever’s going to take over this thing. It seems like a great time to get out. New gig for Gaba Glacie. This starts today.

He’s the host of WWE Rivals. You’ll find this on A and E. Rivals is a roundtable discussion series of world a Wrestling Entertainment’s greatest rivalries. Eight o’clock tonight, Christina p spoke to people about her experience with ozimpic, you know the drug that people are using to lose some weight. She said her doctor raised her dosage, but she accidentally took too much.

As she tells the story, the doctor goes, you know what, since you ate right through it last time, I’m going to start you on a higher dose. And I’m like, all right, fair enough, I’m a pig. Christina said. The doctor instructed her to start at ten units, which she said sounds like a lot. I hadn’t been on in a minute.

I’m going to dial it back to five units. She gave herself the injection, joined her friends for dinner and said, dude, I can’t even eat. I feel nauseous. I can’t even eat this bread. My mouth is dry.

I feel like I’m gonna throw up. In the middle of the night, I did. I was super nauseous. I’m like, this is working this time. I’m down like three pounds.

Then she was hanging out with a friend of hers who was a nurse. The nurse was like, how much did you take? Christina says five units, and the nurse looks at it and goes, Christina, you took fifty units. That’s enough for a five hundred pound man. Christina’s reaction, Well it worked.

Eliza Slessinger is taping her first comedy special for Amazon Prime Video. It won’t be taped until November and the premier date will be scheduled after that. Slessinger will also kick off a tour called the Get Ready Tour in August. Somebody had to finish off a press release, so they went with as the voice of the elder millennial. She brings back her familiar, physical, fast paced style, peppered with characters, animals, and insights from stripperhels to gorilla wives to a lesson for gen Z.

This brand new hour is her best work yet? Is it because you didn’t tape it yet? Maybe it’s not. Could we tape it before we declare it her best work yet? Camilnn Gianni will give the keynote address at the Senior Convocation at Cornell this coming up on May twenty third.

To some press person got involved because Kamil is credited as actor, comedian, producer, and Oscar nomine screenwriter who has starred in Marvel Studios Eternals and in the Hulu miniseries Welcome to Chippendale’s is also comedian. I mean, I guess one of these students, who is the chair of the committee said, as a committee, we shortlisted values that we were looking for to speaker, wholesome, empathetic, resilient, dynamic, and trailblazing. Kamil was one of a few dozen names we had flagged. I guess the price was right. Festivals are off the board for a little bit.

Although if you’re in Dubai, a mere Czar has a show and I like this title. It’s called a borderline Funny India Versus Pakistan, a unique show that will bring together comics from India and Pakistan on one stage for a hilarious stand up comedy, improv and roast. That is a clever idea for the show. You’ll find out at the Roxy Cinemas at the Dubai Hills Mall and I get to close that tab now getting my browser back here. Channel four in the UK has postponed making another series of The Windsors.

That is a show that makes fun of the British royal family. Now, if you like things that make fun of the British royal family, be sure to check out Pallace Intrigue. That is a podcast. I’m the writer on it. And you know, the Ky Middleton thing is over and everybody’s back to making fun of Harry and Megan Magan has a new jam out and that is being brutalized by the tabloids and we’ve been making fun of it.

So that’s Palace Intrigue wherever he shows. But Channel four is The Windsors on hold because of the King’s health and Kate’s health. They had announced a fourth series alongside a feature length special to Mark King Charles Coronation. The new series would have focused on the younger generations with their majesties away on tour. Part of the complication there is the actress who played Queen Camilla has passed away.

They had talked about possibly recasting the role. The sitcom has run for twenty one episodes, including three specials, but like I said, on hold for now. British comedian Joe Lycett has revealed that he has planted four fake stories in the British media. He made them up, but they were picked up and covered by UK newspaper and TV. These stories are a footballer soccer player suffering with a bruise in the shape of Prince Harry, a statue of h from UK pop group Steps being erected in his Welsh hometown, research showing that men from Birmingham, which happens to be Joe Lycett’s hometown, are the largest endowed in the UK.

And a story about graffiti artist Banksy creating a mural of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Last year, he shreded what appeared to be ten thousand pounds in a wood chipper in protest of David Beckham’s ambassador role at the Football World Cup. That’s some silly fun for you. Oh my voice is giving out. I didn’t bring down anything to drink, by the way.

Oh that reminds me. I was at the National Donut Shane and I saw Evil bill Ingvall. I had wondered what had been happening to Evil billing Vall. I hadn’t seen him in like a month or so. He’s back and he’s grown out as beard.

But now he doesn’t look as evil. Now he just looks like bill Ingvall with a full beard. You know, you gotta have the goatee to do the evil thing. Anyway, I digress us your comedy news for today, see it tomorrow or

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media before twenty to those who celebrate, I do not hie. I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. D’ll say Sloan commented on the Nike Women’s Olympic uniforms. Have you seen these? If not, the joke will tell you her joke.

This outfit should not be for Team USA Team Brazilian. Absolutely, That’s all you need to know. I did watch Jimmy Carr’s a new special. I liked it. If you like Jimmy Carr, Jimmy Carr did Jimmy Carr Things.

If you don’t like Jimmy Carr, you’re not going to like it. But he did Jimmy Carr things. It’s not his best special by any means, but it did make my top twenty whatever of twenty four. I have it right now at number seven after Dimitri Martin. The Guardian did not like it.

They gave it one star out of either four or five and wrote, it’s hard to cancel someone who doesn’t believe in anything. A moral vacuum lized at the heart of Cars Act. What does he think? Who’s a show so hearing? How many of us jokes?

He laughs at a horribly depressing affectation that was absent from Carr’s early stand up. He’s been doing the laugh at his own jokes for a while now, and I didn’t feel like he did it a lot in this new one. What did catch my eye is I think somebody nailed his shoes to the floor. It’s very late in the special, before he even moves his legs. Go back and look at it.

He just glued to the floor. Now, that might have something to do with the advanced camera work they did. There was some spin around, so I don’t know if there was a dolly or a drone or what they did there, but he did not move and I found that distracting. The Guardian said it would be tempting to say that the target audience for the show is the fifty one year old himself, right, Maybe his lonely hunk is occasionally the only one we hear, like a goose wondering where his friends have gone. I don’t think that review is fair.

He’s just clowning around. Enjoy the special. When I was surfing YouTube, I noticed Triumph showed up at the Trump Court case and was doing his Triumph talks to people in the crowd thing. Not Triumph’s best work, but definitely funny if you want to check that out on YouTube. A bunch of things got announced Thursday and Friday, which is strange but okay.

HBO announced that Nikki Glaser will get her second hour long comedy special. Before I get into that, the HBO specials lately haven’t been good, Like, what was the last good HBO comedy special? Is there a list of HBO comedy specials? Maybe we can looks say. I’m gonna have to work a little bit here on Wikipedia, let me start.

In December we had Gary Goleman. All right, I’ll just stop there. Gary Goleman special in December was great? Were there any good ones in twenty twenty four? On February we had Rory Scovel.

I didn’t think that was good at all, Rommy Yusef and March was. I didn’t like the direction on it. I didn’t watch it. Okay, that’s all we’ve had so far on mag O. And in April we’ve had Alex Edelman’s one.

I forgot to watch that one. I’ll try and get to it. This weekend. Got all busy weekend. Another soccer tournament anyway, Nikki Glaser will be the HBO comedy special in Mayday, May eleventh, at ten o’clock.

I also don’t love that as a time, Netflix on Tuesdays and now Tuesdays just tend not to work out for me, But I think the Tuesdays works well. The Saturday at ten pm is a relic of another time. For example, I often watch TV on Saturday night, but by ten o’clock I’m old, I’m winding down. Maybe it’s a young person’s game. Whereas if the same special came out at I don’t know, eight o’clock, i’d watch it.

In the new special, Nikki Glaser, Someday You’ll Die, Niki tells an audience in Seattle about a wide range of topics no kidding, including why she doesn’t want kids, the harsh realities of aging, her sexual fantasies, and plans for her own death. Let’s listen to some of the trailer before it gets naughty. The other day, I’ve rolled up with like a bunch of suitcases and the ubertiver just pop the trunk and sat in the front seat. I was like, is this the first line of menopause? What’s happening right now?

Comedy Dynamics has announced plans for Tommy Tiernan’s new special tom Foolery that’ll be out April thirtieth. No clip available, but Tommy apparently discusses the duality of human existence being two opposites at the same time. For example, he was almost a priest, but his mind was too dirty. I got to get some Conan show. Conan was asked by the Hollywood Reporter if he has any predictions of how Late Night will evolve.

Conan said, it’s already happening. Gordon Show was replaced with a different format, meaning after midnight, that’s gonna happen more and more. When I got into Late Night in ninety three, I was still dealing with a captive audience. Someone could actively dislike Conan O’Brien, and many did, But if they had insomnia at twelve thirty five am, there were only a couple of choices. I was in people’s bedrooms, whether they wanted me or not.

He jokes, there’s a terrible poll quote. That’s not the case anymore. Everyone has siloed and their political beliefs and their entertainment. An era is definitely over our ending the whole idea of it being called late Night, that’ll probably disappear. It’s all digestible stuff for the Internet, which is better produced and has better stars than a lot of what’s out there.

But at Jimmy Found Jimmy Kimmelo, Stephen Colbert, these are talented people. I don’t feel for them. They asked him about the Jay Leno thing, and he said, enough time has gone by where I can see that it didn’t have much to do with with me. I was standing on a fault line. We kept trying to cut this baby in half, Solomon like, and it wasn’t working.

At that moment. It became about the Internet, which had existed for a while but was completely undervalued by the suits at the time, they were saying, what is going on? How is Conan doing this? I wasn’t doing anything. But if you were certain agent online, you were probably on my side.

I still have people come up to me and say that made me really angry. What happen to you? I’m great someday I look at my Wikipedia entry, but two thousand and nine feels like five hundred years ago to me. You know, A good point sort of made almost made there. How they hung around a little bit with Conan being really good at internet clips.

That may have helped, but they panicked and they should have kept Conan on. I also think NBC was right having Jay Leno on at ten o’clock. You don’t think they’d like to have a j Leno type show on at ten o’clock these days in the current economic climate, right move. You just didn’t stick to your guns. John Cleese was going to get a show on the UK’s Channel four.

Apparently that is not happening. He had announced the project in twenty twenty one, pledging to discover how the impeccable idea of let’s all be kind of people has been developed in some cases at absurdum. This was going to be produced by Jeremy Clarkson’s production company. They still haven’t filmed it. One source close to the show said Channel four could not come to a deal with John Clees.

According to Deadline, Lees also had a show for gb News last year called The Dinosaur Hour that no longer exists as well. ABBY four twenty and Jim Belushi will be one of the fifty plus cannabis industry expert speakers at a convention in Illinois at the end of May. Belushi will be sharing experiences and insights from his journey on becoming a commercial cannabis grower. Gabe Iglesias might be moving to San Antonio. At the end of a recent show down there, he said, there’s no question and there should never be any question about the love I have for the two to ten.

And then he said, I told you earlier tonight I sold my house. The fans cheered, and he said, all I gotta say is I’ll see you at the BUCkies, cass Up Co Corner and on Gusup Corner. Apparently Colin Jost and Pete Davidson having some quote bitter disappointment. You may recall they bought a ferry together for some reason, hoping to turn it into a nightclub, comedy club or something. A friend of Colin Jost and Pete Davidson told the National Inquirer what began as a promising venture has devolved into bitter disappointment, serving as a stark reminder of the perils of mixing business with friendship.

I do a lot of stuff with AI that to me, the language there sounds very very AI to be so maybe the friend just speaks like AI. But the writing pattern of what began as has devolved into is Ai, serving as a stark reminder of the perils of mixing business and friendship. Is the kind of sentence Ai tends to write anyway. While Colin is scrambling to assemble a competent team, Pete seems to have gone a wall or remains to be seen whether their friendship can weather the storm. Wow, we do need to do an intervention for Jim gaff again.

Jim, I’m trying to help you here, but Jim went on his YouTube channel. Here’s another terrible clip. Again. I want people to listen to my podcast. If you can suffer through Jim here, please do.

If not hit thirty seconds, skip a couple times because Jim, this ain’t working. Bro. I have just been shipped the very first bottles of Father Time Bourbon. Let’s see what we got here now. Just occasionally people will leave messages about, hey, when is it going to be available in stores.

It’s not going to be available in stores. This is a limited run. I call it a precious batch just because everything has to do with kids. Here. I got an open has I’m a little nervous, you know what I mean.

I’ve invested a lot of time, and that’s cool. I think that’s very cool. So here’s what it looks like. I really wanted to do something that would be good and be something that would be cool on someone’s bar. Well, you heard it from Jim Gaffigan himself.

He’s hoping that his product will be something cool to be on someone’s bar. Good luck with your project, Jim jeff’sarually in comedy. Dynamics will release Jeff’s debut comedy special Live at the Bomb Shelter that’ll be out on Tuesday, June eleventh. They sent over a clip. Let’s listen.

Here’s something kids would say at this school to make themselves feel better about going to community college. And I heard this from multiple kids. This wasn’t just like one or two students. This was multiple kids would say this. They would be like, hey, man, do you know this is actually regarded as one of the best community colleges in the country.

It’s like according to who, who’s saying that, who’s ranking community colleges? What if they let everyone in? It’s not the best of anything. No one’s watching an NBA gave me and like, yeah, this is incredible, but you know’d be better if they let the fans play. Why don’t they let the fans play?

Why?

Also, this game should take place at NASA Community College, the greatest com…

I was like, yeah, this is really the IVY Leagues for kids who didn’t try in high school. I would say, Hannah bernerd tapes her news special at the l Ray in LA today, and let’s see what’s happening at the comedy festivals, which reminds me. These episodes have been like twenty minutes issh for the last month or so. With Melbourne ending, it’s going to go back to a normal length. So don’t get mad at me if you’ve gotten addicted to really long episodes, because without having, especially this week three festivals to talk about, it will get shorter.

That said, Sydney Comedy Festival starts I think on the twenty five fifth, so we’ll be back to doing that. But for now, let’s take a look at the festivals. Let’s do Moontower first. It is effectively the final day of Moontower. There’s just a podcast taping tomorrow, a robust Saturday night at Moontower.

Wow. I won’t read them all, but let’s do the name ones. Six o’clock stars in bars. At Antones Nightclub features Carmen Christopher, the Sclar Brothers, Drew Lynch and some others.

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Also with six parenting is a joke at the Parker Jazz Club with Fira Eisenberg…

Ronny Chieng plays the Bass Concert Hall at six thirty. The Glow Show at six thirty has a bunch of comedians including at Natalie Palamedes seven o’clock, Sarah Sherman and Chloe Feynman at the Paramount, Shane Torres at seven. Again I’m not reading them all, Todd Barry at eight o’clock, or Shafer at nine thirty. Connor O’Malley gets the yellow box. So what’s the yellow box?

Johnny Mack? There’s some shows they have flagged as headliners, and Connor O’Malley is one of the headliners. Is my comedy radar off? Here is Connor O’Malley secretly huge? What am I missing here?

Ten o’clock the Comedy Jim rosebud Baker at ten thirty, closing night party at eleven and a sketch show at eleven thirty. All right, if we were at moontower. What should we go see on this Saturday night. We’ve seen Sarah before, so let’s do Ronny Chieng at six thirty. That’ll get us to around eight o’clock.

Or so let’s pop into the creek in the cave at eight thirty. We’ll catch whoever we can catch out of Jeremiah Watkins, Cam Patterson, Ciphus Sounds, Rosebud Baker, the Sclar Billers, and Lee’s a trigger. But we’ll leave that early and we’ll go see Arishaffir at nine thirty, unless you want to go see Connor O’Malley, who might be secretly huge and maybe I’m just stupid. I don’t know.

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And then if you want to do a late show, we’ll do the Sketch Show at eleven th…

But have you ever hung out with me? By eleven thirty, I want to go to bed, all right, and get my browser back here. I’m closing that tab forever.

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Meanwhile, in Dubai, I am not familiar with anyone performing tonight, but th…

Let’s see what’s that show is don’t miss the opportunity to see your favorite digital Imarati personalities in the flesh, but in English. So I guess if we were there, we’d go see that one and one last time because of how time zones work. We’ll take a look at the Milburn International Comedy Festival Sunday line up, the final day of the wonderful Melbourne International Comedy Festival. I hope you’ve enjoyed me sharing the festival with you and playing the clips. My big takeaway from doing this every day for a month is the scene down there has a lot of strong women comics, which is awesome.

We got to get some of those performers up here in the States.

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All right, let’s see how many clips I can find for you today.

Henry Zoo’s show is called Zoo Fast, Zoo Furious Love It. The description Henry is back to Hobbes and shy leave audiences in Stitch is as he Tokyo drifts between ludicrous stories and vin Diesel punchlines. Uh, this seems like it’s going to be completely in my wheelhouse. Let’s listen. A wheelhouse was not a pun either.

Oops as well, she’s a nineties younger than me and when I’m almost pregnant. She was like, go and we are made a friend and I thought it was nice as a time she really know was I said? On play dates and extra curricular for eight years. Next single friend, I’m going to make one for you. All right?

That wasn’t bad. I’m not sure it was about Vin Diesel movies, but I enjoyed him. Matt Harvey, No, not the guy from the New York Mets. This is an Australian comedian. His show was called Wage against the Machine.

Let’s listen. The sale of hardcore porn in Australia is illegal still to this day. And uh why that we don’t crack it? Example that you would tight across wine and the mental period. So Matt, the tear is fine.

The clip that you’re sharing, I’ve never seen a clip like this. This looks like somebody has a phone at the back of the club. I’m looking through one, two, three, four, five bodies to see Matt, who is about twice the size of the arrow icon on my Mac. The audio is terrible. I have no idea what Matt Harvey not the Mets picture.

It looks like dude, just I won’t even say higher social media team. But you’re performing the festival I don’t know. Go to the Chucklehet Australia on Tuesday and have your friend sit in the front row and shoot it with a cell phone. I mean, come on, put some work into this, Matt Harvey. What a weird clip you see?

If I can find one more, I think we’ve done just about everybody. David Woodhead’s show was called black and White black spelled blak for reasons unclear to me. The Adelaide advertiser says, watch this space. I suspect we’re watching a future comedy stallwart.

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All right, let’s listen.

Over the past year, I lost sixty kilos, which is nice. It’s a oh thank you, thank you, thank you. Now your first reactions, oh my god, that’s amazing, so much way. But in the back of your head you’re thinking, ah, how fat were you? She’s the thing?

All right. I still identify as a fat dude. The difference is now I’m a fun fat dude. I’m a fun fatty. Where’s a year ago?

I was a sad fat dude. It’s just a sad fatty. Ain’t dead between a fun fatty and a sad fatty, says a fun fatty. If I go into the bar tonight, just have ten shots as tequila. Rip my shirt off like hul Cogan.

You guys would be like, oh, the party started, Big Fat Days. Just swripped his shirt off like you would love it. You would love it if I did that a year ago, though, you guys would be like, parties over Big Fat Days. Just ripped his shirt off and he’s sweating in my beer. This is disgusting.

Someone get this dog a shirt and I would all right. He’s fun. I like his presence a lot. And with that I close out the tab for the Melbourne Comedy Festival again. We’ll do Sydney in a few days.

And that is your comedy news for today. If you enjoyed the program, tell a friend about it. They might like it too, and I’ll meet you back here tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, Johnny Mac and I’m in a silly mood with today’s Daily Comedy News. Today’s a big day. You know what’s out today, don’t you? You know what’s out Taylor Swift’s new album.

Yeah, remember she announced it way back at the Grammys. Taylor attends a lot of award shows. You know. One time, Taylor Swift attended the Golden Globes. Nope, not doing it.

You don’t want me to do it. I’m not doing it. You’re not doing it. You know the big difference between this podcast and the Golden Globes. Taylor Swift’s probably heard of the Golden Globes.

Jimmy Kimmel not happy with former President Trump. Apparently, the President commented on Jimmy Kimmel the other day, said several things that ticked Jimmy off, including suggesting that Jimmy had screwed up an award. Kimmell said, the person who presented the award was al Pacino, not me. We’re different people now. Don’t get me wrong.

I wish I was al Pacino. I’m just not. You think he would know that, because I’m pretty sure that say hello to my little friend is what Trump said to Stormy Daniels. They got him in all this trouble. That is a killer.

Joe Kimmel continued. One of the things that he had a problem with was Trump suggesting the ratings had gone down because of Kimmel, and he said, that’s why they asked me to host again next year, which I wasn’t planning to do, but now I might. Maybe you can watch it on the TV in the rec room at Rikers. The Rikers is a prison in New York City. In case you don’t get the reference.

One more from Kimmel. I guess I should be honored that the former president of the United States took time out of his busy schedule googling Ivanka in bikini to rant about me. Ouch. Trump also visited a bodega. Stephen Colbert explained for non New Yorkers what a bodega is.

And I’m not even sure this is a joke. This is pretty accurate, Colbert said, for my viewers who don’t live in New York, bodega is Spanish for a place where you can get coffee, cigarette, spicy chips you can only get in Uruguay, dusty cans of chef boy or d Jin saying vitality juice that makes your hair feel like it’s screaming. And for some reason, one electric lawnmower up on a high show elf all run by a guy who exclusively calls you big boss boy. He nailed that. Do’ll s Sloan, hosting The Daily Show, said, I’m surprised Trump didn’t hit up the lotto machine while he was at the bodega.

Dudo’s over five hundred million dollars in fines. Can you imagine owing so much money that you have to hit Powerball just to get back to zero? I saw Mark Marin as Jimmy Carr in his podcast. I haven’t listened to that yet. I’m planning on watching Jimmy Carr last night.

In Your Universe. Taylor Tomlinson, who some call the Taylor Swift of comedy, She’s at the Wind tonight and tomorrow. Taylor Thominson says, the win’s incredible, and the theater is incredible, and it feels like a very cool intimate space for being a big theater. Johnny Mack, is this really the top comedy story you slotted this one first? Are you setting something up here?

This story is very suspicious. Why is this the top story? It’s not very interesting that Taylor Thomson is playing the Wind. What’s going on here? Taylor said, as forest place to stay in Vegas, I think Win is number one.

It’s totally different from playing comedy clubs. You feel like you’re in show business for real at the Win, as opposed to some of the rooms I did when I was younger. She talked about her new television show After Midnight said, it’s been everything I wanted it to be. Honestly, I just wanted to work with all these people and grow through the process, learn some new skills. It’s allowed me to meet a lot of comics I’d never met in person.

It’s a really fun time because stand ups don’t usually get to play along and improvise with each other. You know. The big difference between Taylor Tomlinson playing the Win in the Golden Globes at the Wind. They have fewer camera shots of celebrities murdering her career over chokes. Joe Rogan had Neil Brennan on I have to catch up on that as well.

It’ll be my usual pattern of Friday night and Saturday, I’ll play video games and I’ll put my phone on my chest and I’ll listen to all these podcasts. Brennan revealed a sketch he wrote around Shane Gillis. He said, the week Shane got fired, whatever unhired, I thought of a sketch, and I was going to be in New York. I have sort of an open door policy at SNL or I could just write because I wrote there with Dave Chappelle. So I had a sketch idea.

His premise. It’s a couple they’re in bed and they’re like, so, any STDs you want to tell me about and they’re like, no, I’m clean, And then the characters followup question would be any podcasts. Brendan said, it was a good idea. We wrote it. Then it got kind of shelves my understanding with some of the people in the show didn’t appreciate it.

You know, the big difference between The Golden Globes and Joe Rogan’s podcast, Don’t You On Rogan’s show, the most awkward part of the show or the advertisings for mail enhancement supplements. At the Golden Globes, it’s the reaction shots of Taylor Swift, Rob Schneider has been in the news a lot lately, so has Conan O’Brien. That confluence of things has led the Internet to dust off this clip from one of Conan’s television shows. And as you’ll hear, this speaks to me in several ways. During the day, I hit the streets of a like with a sandwich board and try to get people out.

And I was in Denver, Colorado. Denver, Sure, And I says, A guy says, you’re doing a show here. I said, yeah, where the big auditoriumph how you get to play the big auditorium? I said, I’ll tell you. It’s not just me, it’s David’s Faine’ll be there, and and Nick Schwartzen too.

Well. By god, the fella said that from the Sandler movies, they’re fantastic. I’d pay anything. It’s just I don’t have much money. I’m down on my luck.

I says, I can get you tickets. I can get you tickets, sir, He goes, it would be a dream of a lifetime. I said, well, if you think that’s a dream, wait till you hear this. Adam Sandler will be there himself. My god, the guy said, I’ll bring me and my wife two.

Is that all right? I said, sure, I’ll get you two tickets. He says, what time’s the show? I said, it’s at eight o’clock. I said, also, Rob Schneider is there.

He said, eight o’clock’s not good. That’s when the news is up, which reminds me of the time half assed Norm MacDonald hosted The Golden Globes. Remember that one, Yeah, that was a pretty good episode of the Golden Globes. You remember his famous joke, don’t you you know what the big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL is, don’t you at the Golden Gloves if you’re a cava shots of Taylor Swift. Time magazine has released its annual Time one hundred list of the most influential people in the world.

This is the most influential people in the world. I actually didn’t check to see if Taylor Swift is on this list. I’m not doing a bit right now. Let me look she’s not, so that’ll give you a sense of how just insane this list is. Who’s on the list?

Johnny mack Well in comedy. Two comedians are on the Time one hundred list of the most influential people in the world. Okay, these are the most influential people in the world, so you’re probably thinking yourself, Oh, I don’t know, it’s got to be like Dave Schapelle or somebody like wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. You want to sit here for an hour and guess, because you’re never going to guess these two names, are you ready. The two comedians that have made Times one hundred most Influential People in the World include Alex Edelman and Maya Rudolph.

What Alex Edelman was honored by Fleabags Phoebe waller Bridge Phoebe Wrights. Over the past fifteen years, I’ve had the privilege of watching Alex Edelman constantly dazzle audiences and basement clubs, backs of taxis, comedy festivals, friends kitchens, and iconic London theaters. Alex’s ability to hold people in the palma’s hand is otherworldly. Blah blah blah. One of the one hundred most Influential people in the World, a list that does not include Taylor Swift.

Also on the list of the one hundred most Influential people in the world, Maya Rootolph. Yeah, Amy Poehler said, Maya Rootolph is a super talent who is late from within a performing polymath, She’s able to deliver her big laughs and deep emotions at the same time. We all fell in love with her on Saturday Night Live, where her characters so not only funny, they were having fun. Blah blah blah times one hundred most influential people in the world. Yeah, apparently this John Stewart thing isn’t working out the way everyone had hoped.

Late Nighter it sells us. The Daily Show averaged seven hundred and forty two thousand total viewers last week Monday. That’s up eleven percent from the week before. However, Person’s eighteen to forty nine, a demo that I’m sadly not in anymore, only got one hundred and eleven thousand people, down thirteen percent from the previous Monday, which means only US old people are watching John Stewart and I’m not even watching it. I just don’t think of it.

I don’t have Paramount Plus right now. Is it even on Paramount Plus? I guess it is. And I just don’t use the DVR anymore. Just sit down and go what’s on Netflix?

And I stare whatever they put in front of me. Like most people do these days. Let’s take a look at the festivals. Johnny Mack, did you remember to pre load the Melbourne Comedy Festival website? I actually did?

Can you believe it? I actually did, And I promised you yesterday I’d play a bunch of clips. So here are a bunch of clips. Damien Powers show is called not so funny, now is it? The Age gave it four and a half stars, presumably out of five, and said he’s cooked up his best show in half a decade.

Short old set, hilarious, gut punches, remain a marvel to behold, a right high praise there listen from dating again, and my mate’s like, oh, dude, it’s all about personality. Personality, It’s all about personality. Personality is just a defense mechanism that forms from your trauma. My mate’s like, oh, that guy’s easy going. You don’t know why he’s easy going.

He might have been mercilesslly bullied in high school. Kids shoved his head into the toilet and then he had to do a speech in front of the history class and he had a panic attack and everyone ridiculed him after that. Anyway, people say I’m easy going, which I put that on my dating profile. All right, I mean long way for a joke that you saw coming. But all right.

Geraldine Hicky’s show is called that Don’t Tease Me About My Gloves. Winner of the twenty twenty one Melbourne International Company Festival Award for Most Outstanding Show Time Out, says Hickey is a master four stars the age, no comment, but five stars. Let’s listen. I’ve got arthritis and it’s I’m I’m on medication. I’m on meth and anyone else on meth metatrecsay, that’s the one that I’m on, METATRECSA.

That’s the one that I used in chemotherapy. But I’m just microdosing. But before I started taking it, my doctor said, just so you know, you have to lower your alcohol intake when you take this, so you’re only allowed to have two to three standard drinks a week. And I was like, oh, that’s fine. Yeah, that’s about what I have anyway, so yeah, no problem.

Yeah it was. It wasn’t until the next day that I was like, hang on a second, there’s seven days in a week, two three stand drinks a week. Can’t do What if I stuff up when I have the two to three do you know what. You don’t tell me what to do. You don’t tell me how much I can drink.

I’m going to decide how much I’m going to drink. That’s up to me. I’m going to I’m going to have zero, that’s right, zero alcohol for me. I’m going to be sober. Yeah, I’m going to be his thing, I know.

And I could go the other way. Yeah, I could spend maybe ten minutes online and I would find a blog or Reddit comment just going you can drink as much as you want. I’m aware, right, But here’s the thing, I inherently trust the advice of medical professionals. Yeah. Like, for example, if I was an elite athlete, Yeah, and I was given what I was told was vitamin supplements, I would ask no further questions and I would just be thankful for my enhanced performance.

Yeah. I like her. A Loti’s, Geraldine Hickey couple, mister X in there, well crafted set, very very good. Lewis Garnum’s show is called Choosing the Wrong Story to Tell Short. I’ll gave it four stars and says it’s a rich source of edgy jokes.

Theodore travel says, a true artist, how could one man be so funny. I don’t know. Let’s listen. I am. I’m deaf in my left ear.

And when I was a kid, I never realized that headphones don’t distribute equal parts of the song through each headphone. I thought it was the same, it’s just fifty percent volume here, fifty percent there, but it’s stereo sound. Different elements of the song come through each different lyrics. Sometimes I was just walking around listening to my iPod. Honestly, for the first ten years of me hearing it, I only heard the high parts in Bohemian Rhapsody, and everyone was always like, yeah, it’s the greatest song of all time.

I’m like, yeah, but there’s a lot of gaps, Like it’s very good in parts, but it’s just weird how they just galile put something after that. Surely very very good, right, Yeah? I like him allt Lewis Graham choosing the wrong story to tell you do one more. Nick Schiller’s show was called Still Dry Wade, and no one has has reviewed this one. That doesn’t mean it’s not good.

Let’s find out. I found it’s very easy to annoy people who think political correctness has gone too far, like recently I’ve been going to my local golf club telling the members that they can’t say handicap, they have to say golfing accuracy disorder. They do not like it at all. In fact, they regularly ask if I have a mental golfing accuracy disorder. I like golf is to win golf, you have to take the fewest shots, which means the better you are at golf, the less time you spend playing golf.

That’s a nice idea. The better you are at an activity, the less time you spend doing that activity. When you’re really good at something for a very short amount of time, if an activity doesn’t last long, Nash names you’re really good at the activity. The short of the activity loss. The better you are at the activity.

If you finished in three strugs, you’ll like the best, All right? Is that bad? That’s Nick Schiller. I think the writing is better than the delivery. You know, in another universe, I’d love to see that material delivered by Mitch Hedberg or say Dimitri Martin, But that’s Nick Schiller.

If you’re in Dubai, Moe Gill again, that’ll be a good show. Spencer and Vogue, I’m not familiar with them, let me click. The couple welcomes you in for a hilarious evening, which is the curtain on their lives, from Spencer’s obsession with James Blunt to their shared competitiveness that has been the basis of their relationship since they met on the Jump. Somebody in the UK or something that’s like, how do you not know who Spencer and Vogue is? I don’t know who they are?

Another one of those Egyptian shows tonight and Alfred Adrie An two A’s is playing. Got two more days left of that festival and pull up a chair because it’s going to take a minute here to go through moon Tower. Maybe they’ll speed this up a little bit from what I did yesterday. Friday Night at Moontower. Gonna be a big show.

Let me fly through at five thirty, Cheers, Queer’s Billy Sketch Show at six, Industry Showcase at six Roywood, Junior Sugar Sammy and Andrew Schultz seven thirty, The Texans Amos Gill Moontower, eight o’clock Tagget Oh, we didn’t get to see that one yesterday. Todd Barry at eight, Tina Frimmel at eight, Andy Kindler at eight, thirty Stars and Bars, Liza Trigger. Brad Williams at nine thirty, needs to know Stamptown Comedy Store presents Connor, O’melly Moontower All Stars, Sheen and Blair’s Big Rib Rodeo at ten thirty. That Shane Taurus, Natalie Palamini’s on that one. Okay, that’s on the list.

Rosebud Baker at ten thirty and he gosh darned a comedy jam is the late show?

All right, let’s see if you and I were in Austin and we had my magical time t…

Early show. Do we want to do Andrew Schultz or do we want to drink it till late o’clock and go see Todd Berry. Let’s drink it till late o’clock and go see Todd Berry because his recent special was fantastic. That’ll bring us to the second half. Nine thirty.

Brad Williams absolutely, And for a late show, I’d love to see rosebud Baker, but that’s ten thirty. Won’t be able to time travel that much. So we’ll do best of the fest at the Parker Jazz Club with a Feerra Eisenberg and others. My we are getting quite long today. I’ve got so much to tell you about some new albums.

Richard Servat’s new comedy album, And They’re Gonna Know is out. I like his first track. It’s called cool People Go Out on Wednesday. You’ll find that via Blonde Medicine.

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Also from Blonde Medicine, Daniel Van Kirk’s a new comedy special.

You’ll find that out on YouTube. The audio version will be out May third. That one’s called rose Gold, a Midwestern man’s wish that we all stop finding ways to disagree, start high fiving strangers again, and party in Wisconsin. Rose Gold is named for Daniel’s grandmother, Rosemary, who at ninety four years old, is a living example of what it means to just roll with whatever life throws at you. Track seven is called a Winner in Partyville, USA.

Coming out on the twenty third, Comedy Dynamics announced Sarah hester Ross’s a new special, Don’t Mess with a Redhead. Sarah invites you into the life of a TikTok famous woman who doesn’t want babies and leads the stop giving them in microphones movement so that one will be out next week. And that is your comedy news for today. Now, don’t forget to check out the podcast Taylor Swift Today for all the latest news about Taylor Swift. She’s got a new album out today.

And you know, one time, Joe coy neede a terrible, horrible, mean joke about Taylor Swift. It was so bad, I mean, should I play it? I don’t know. Do you want to hear it? You?

Sure? Yeah? Okay? As you know, came on after a football doubleheader. The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL.

On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift. I swear it was just where to go to here? Sorry about that,

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Have you tried sleeping high? I’m Johnny mag with your Daily Comedy News boy. I had nothing yesterday. Today I can tell I have my fastball because I actually slept.

Let’s see, the unionized writers at Sesame workshop are going on strike. I asked the late bot to write some jokes. Late Bot did a good job. Cookie Monsters strike demands are pretty simple. He just wants to change the lyrics to see is for contract.

That’s good enough for me. Oscar the Grouch loves the strike. He’s like more trash talking and refusing to work. This is the happiest day of my life. That’s a good joke.

That’s like quality late Night. I could see Kimmel or Fallon doing that exact joke. Ernie’s bath time has gotten pretty awkward. He keeps inviting his rubber ducky to join the union and seeing bath time is the right time to collectively bargain. That one feels a little Colbert to me.

The Count could not be reached for comment about the strike. He was too busy counting all the reasons Man’s offer was unacceptable. One grievance, two grievance three grievances A a ah, I don’t do a good count actual Late Night Jimmy Kimmel. The Trump campaign pushed back on reports that Trump fell asleep in court. He said that was fake snooze.

That’s terrible but good. Rob Schneider is calling BS on the notion that he bombed in front of the Republicans. This from TMZ. Schneider called the report a hit piece and even labeled it as woke propaganda. Casey missed it.

The report said Schneider was supposed to do a thirty minute show for some Republicans, but organizers cut him off ten minutes into the show because his jokes were too launchy and off color. Rob tells TMZ that he did fifty full minutes and that event Hanchos knew exactly what they were getting into with him. Rob said, I’m not changing my material or apologizing for my jokes to anybody. Enough with the woke BS. America is sick of it.

I did fifty minutes because that’s what I was paid to do. Nobody remove me from stage. Somebody waved to me at the fifty minute mark. He said he took the fifty one thousand dollars he was offered to perform and did so happily, and then slammed the figure as devaluated by twenty six percent over the last three years thanks to Joe Biden. Drod Carmichael told The Breakfast Club, I deeply regret saying anything about Dave Chappelle to the press.

I want to say I’m sorry for that, a non apology say it. Doesn’t regret say anything about Chapelle, he just regrets saying it to the press. Now. Back in twenty twenty two, Carmichael told GQ, and I agree with this and Dave Chappelle, I hope you’re paying attention, Dave. Do you know what comes up when you google your name?

Bro? Your legacy is a bunch of opinions on trans stuff. It’s an odd hill to die on. I agree with Drod there, despite all my coast to coast flying, I’ve not yet caught up with Joe Rogan’s interview with Neil Brennan, but they were discussing SNL. Rogan told it, Neil Brennan and SNL seems like they handicapped themselves, like they’re handicapping themselves less back then, but now for sure.

If you’re on network television, you’re dealing with so many executives. They’re all terrified, and everyone’s scared, and everyone’s ideologically captured. There’s certain things you can’t joke roundabout. It’s like, God, there’s so much ground you can’t cover, and it’s just you handicap yourself. You just handicap yourself.

The real problem is the format is so restrictive, the fact that you have to break for commercials, the fact that you have a specific amount of time, all that you just can’t compete with the Internet because of that, you just can’t. I don’t think SNL’s problem is the commercials, because you can move those around a little bit, and ninety minutes is plenty of time, and you can cut sketches. It’s the network TV part. You can’t curse, you can’t be out there. That’s the big issue that said we’re clean.

Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffigan, Mike pro Biglia for the most part. Brian Reagan Me, that’s right. I’m in the same class as Jeff Foxworthy, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffikin Mike Boerman related humor is actually better than Jim Gaffigan’s. So we’ll get to that in a bit. Conan O’Brien Must Go is finally premiering today on HBO Max Max HBO.

Yes, this is not the long awaited variety show that was a rumor, but finally Conan has made something for HBO. The Wall Street Journal says Conan O’Brien Must Go asks a lot travel show based on a podcast two programming phenomena of which there is certainly no shortage, and the resulting comedy is crazily uneven and profoundly unrehearsed. The av Club said Max’s travel show will delight Coco fans. There will be obligatory food tasting, dress up site gags galore, all the while our hero will wield the full instrument of his pale long form as only he can, to draw laughter a discuss from all who behold him. I’ll check that over the weekend.

David Cross is recruiting his super pals for a star studded show in Central Park Summer Stage at Central Park, New York City, August eighth, all Right, John Who’s playing David Cross, of course, Bob Odenkirk Sour Silverman, Fred Armison, Sean Patton, Zack Zucker, Shane Torres and more to be announced. That’s pretty cool. Tickets go on sale tomorrow at ten am Eastern from Fox, your Home for comedy News. Actor John Leguizamo attacked to Pinata in a fit of rage on Tuesday after learning Donald Trump was gaining support among Latino voters, express dismay, saying, I mean, clearly Trump isn’t making any effort to get Latino voters or make them a priority. But the thing that hurts the most is that his lazy strategy is actually working.

Apparently a leg Waszamo let out a string of curse words in Spanish aimed at Trump while attacking the pinata. Jimmy Carr doing the Rounds promoting as Netflix special I chose not to watch it Tuesday night. I was home in front of the TV and I could not stay awake, so I held off on that. Jimmy Carr said he was close to death when he was diagnosed with meningitis as a child. He was on the podcast Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way, and he said, my first memory is a lumbar pucksher in Limerick in the general hospital.

I was three, and I think I was always told it was very close to death. The doctor sort of went, it’s going to be very painful, and somehow it heard the phrase and I went, you’ve got to be cruel to be kind in a little child’s voice, and I kind of appreciated that thing of life because I was always told, oh, you nearly didn’t make it. He discussed how we would like to die now that he’s older. Jimmy said, I want my kids and the people to love me, to be able to tell a story like, oh, Jimmy died. Funny story.

You flew to South Africa, and he went on one of those great shark cage experiences and he forego the cage. He said, no cage for me. Thanks, I’ll just jump in there with a fish. And I was ravaged by sharks. That would be a way to go.

That was a setup for a shark story. He said. Recently, I was swimming with a friend in Key West and there were sharks in the water and one sort of flipped around. Would be swimming with these small sharks all day, and we slightly misjudged the size of this thing was enormous, and it flipped around and it came at us, and I remember just thinking of the old joke. I don’t have to outrun the bear.

I just have to outrun you. Just swim faster than my mate Henry. Now, we got back on the boat and the guys went, these are just reef sharks and I went, yeah, with the black tip on the fin and they went, oh whoa. Jimmy said, but I think being torn apart by sharks that’s a great story for everyone. Yesterday we did an intervention for Jim Gaffigan.

Ricky Gervase is out howking his vodka and Jim paying attention to Ricky, this is how you do it. Hi, I’m Ricky Gervas and I’m an actor, so I really care about stuff and I want you to care about stuff too. This is Dutch Bond vodka. It’s made from British apples. It tastes great, and the bottle is one hundred percent recyclable, so it helps the environment, which as an actor I really care about.

And it’s the only vodka I drink on the private jet. So Dutch Bond, that’s it. Jim, just do that. Don’t try too hard. Ricky knows we’re in on the joke.

Jimmy trying too hard with that Chris Rock is the voice of a new campaign by the National Basketball Association. You may know them as the NBA. The article I’m cribbing from describes the National Basketball Association as a global sports and media organization. Thanks the campaign is word playoff mode. This gets old pretty fast.

I’ll place some of it so you can get a taste of Chris Rock. Here is playoff Jason a thing? Playoff Jason is not a thing. Okay, Tatum, we all know it’s a thing. Look at the evid, just as playoff Spider’s not a thing.

Blunto Caid, deny it? I mean, is that official? No? No, no, are you serious? Oh?

I see he’s got on it. You get the idea. Mike Ebbs talked about his friendship with Shaquille O’Neill. This was on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Apps told Jimmy Kimmel Shack’s my man, suggesting that Chack is the kind of guy who’d give a Lamborghini to anyone.

Had said, I ain’t give it up on that. I’m keeping that for myself. Earlier in the year, Shack named his favorite comedians. They included Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor Mike Epps. Kate Williams says the article.

I don’t think Kate Williams is correct. I’m gonna guess cant Williams. Is there a comedian Kate Williams. Let’s check who knows? Maybe she’s hilarious comedian Kate Williams.

Enter well, Google said, including results for comedian Kat Williams. But they’ve offered me the opportunity to search only for comedian Kate Williams. Let’s do that, Ah, Kate Williams, stand up comedian. I’m on just Theetonic dot com. This is a fun lark.

Kate Williams is fresh on the UK circuit and she’s coming in hot. Starting out as a flyer with delusions of grandeur, Kate now sells jokes to whoever will listen, and also to the ones who won’t. Now, I’m not finding any comedy by Kate Williams. And when I search for Kate Williams, a lot of stuff comes up from some comedian named Kat Williams who seems to have done some sort of noisy interview a few months ago. Anyway, Shaquille O’Neill’s favorite comedians are Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Mike Epps, Corey Holcom and Kate Williams Little housekeeping.

I do see on people dot com there’s a big article about Olivia Munn discussing her battles with cancer. Mulaney is tangentially mentioned, but it just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that we do here on this podcast while googling Kate Williams for laughs. But if you want to read up on Olivia Munn, you can do that on People. Laura Murley will record her first comedy special. She specializes in set up, punchline jokes and one liner is rather than storytelling.

She admires and is influenced by Mitch Hedberg and Maria Bamford. You can catch her at the Flophouse Comedy Club in Brooklyn tonight. Donald Glover is working on some sort of anime. Not much is known about it. And let’s see what’s happening at the festivals, John, did you preload Melbourne?

Nope? As we’re getting a little long here, I’ll tell you some shows. I won’t pull clips today, Tomorrow I’ll pull a bunch of clips. How about that Blake Pavey, that’s the guy who told you about at the end of yesterday’s show. He’s the one that got into it with the old man, all right.

Blake Bavey is playing the age, says. Pavee’s stand up delicately weaves elements of darkness and light, moving the audience to the brink of tears, before landing a hefty punch line that leaves them in that stitches no clip. But Blake’s show is called Still kick In. Maybe go there and heckle him so you can make the news. Maddy Week’s show is called Never Gonna Die This at storytime Melbourne is a picture of Maddie with a skeleton puppet almost looks Jeff dunham ESQ.

This show will cure everything that’s wrong with you. With one simple payment of fifteen to twenty five Australian dollars, you can become immortal and never experience a bad emotion ever again. Wow, that sounds pretty cool. Beat Magazine calls the show a force to be reckoned with. In the comedy scene, I guess they call Maddy a force to be reckoned with.

The plus Ones says entirely captivating. Squirrel Comedy calls Maddy Weeks a charming and funny young comedian, a great person to spend an hour with. Shane Daniel Burn’s show is called but He’s Gay. That’s a funny title. Award winning Shane Daniel Byrne is Irish Comedy’s new wonder kin in his mid thirties.

Once considered an exciting talent of contemporary performance arreat in Dublin, he messed that up and is now a comedian selling out shows around the UK. David o’darty calls him my favorite new Irish comedian for many years.

Meanwhile, in Dubai, did you see they had so much rain?

Now? I did google Dubai Comedy Festival Rain to see if anything was canceled. Nothing came up, but I do see that the Metro is having issues from all the rain. So if you’re on your way to Zarnagarg’s a Show or Desi Laughs or Stand Up Bell Masery. Those are the three shows today you might want to check on the metro service or to make sure that the show’s actually happening.

Stand Up Bell Masery, Egypt’s first comedy factory is back with Bell Masony. Volume two is showcase of an all star lineup of the finest Egyptian comedians. Belle Mastery, which translates to in Egyptian, will feature some of Egypt’s funnies men and women as they strut their stuff, etc. That’s at the Coca Cola Arena, so it must be a pretty big show. And we’ll finish up with Moontower because that’s going to be pretty robust today.

Oh yeah, pull up a chair. This is going to take me a minute. All right, six o’clock, Ian Carmel and Friends. Six point thirty Natalie Palamedes. I don’t care what comes up, and I see what just came up.

We’re going to see Natalie. I think she’s fantastic, which means Johnny Mack is making you miss Mark Maron at seven o’clock. Now. I love Maren. You guys know I love Maren.

But we can see Maren on Netflix. I guess we could see Natalie on Netflix as well. Her last special was on Netflix and it’s fantastic. But I would want to go see Natalie. Seven o’clock, New York’s Finest seven o’clock.

Moontower, A mystery show. Seven o’clock. James a Domian boy. He’s great too, A lot of great choices seven o’clock. Celebrity Memoir book Club seven thirty hit list.

Any names you would know, they’re most likely not Britannic at seven thirty. I always love seeing shows like that. The joke of painting Andy Kindler On that one, there’s a logo that makes you think of Bob Ross, but is clearly legally distinct. Let’s see what this show is. Imagine if art Icon Bob Ross taught one of those wine fueled ladies’ night painting classes.

Now imagine we’ve replaced Bob Ross with a few comedians. Okay, that sounds like a good time. But we’re at Natalie Palamedia’s show eight o’clock. Oh, this is so good too. Tag it at the Creek of the Cave.

Sclar Brothers, Todd Barry Rosebud Baker, Jeremiah Watkins, Chloe Trost, Liza trigger Does. Sclar Brothers invite their hilarious friends to do sets while they sit off stage writing tags to pitch the comics on stage. Oh, what a great thing. I might have to cheat here and see if Natalie’s playing tomorrow. She’s not.

These are some great shows. Lucas Zelnick at eight o’clock. Sarah Schaeffer at eight thirty. Hypothetically we saw her yesterday. Olivia Flood wall Ily at eight thirty two Dykes and a Mic.

I love these titles. Nine o’clock Stars in Bars. The stars include Sam Jay, Shane Torres, Drew Lynch, James Domian and some others. At nine o’clock The Canadians of Comedy, Miss Patt at nine thirty, Stamptown nine thirty, Surrounded nine thirty, Andy Kindler at nine thirty, Rachel Feinstein nine thirty, Killers, ten thirty, Unzipped at eleven Best of the Fest after Party, and the gosh Darn Comedy Jam at eleven thirty. That’s always a good show, all right, We’re doing Natalie at six thirty.

You’re just gonna have to trust me on this, So let’s assume an hour and a half there, so we’ll be free around eight when you and I pretend to go to comedy festivals. Don’t forget we have magic time traveling ability where we can get across town in five seconds. So let’s see at eight o’clock we’ve seen Sarah Schaeffer already. Hmm, should we wait to nine o’clock? Want to do Canadians of comedy you want to do Rachel Kindler’s gotten a little negative for me, especially on Twitter.

Let’s do Canadians of Comedy and then let’s do the gosh darn Comedy Jam at eleven thirty tomorrow is very robust as well. And that is your comedy news for today. Hey, don’t forget. I also host five Good News Stories, Number five Good News Stories. Apple has been promoting that for three weeks, so that thing took off.

Thank you Apple Podcast. All right, see you tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello Johnny mag with your Daily Comedy News. According to Politico, Rob Schneider was cut off ten minutes into a half hour set at a Republican networking holiday event. This happened last year. I don’t know why we’re just finding out about it now, but apparently Rob Schneider’s material was two offensive, other descriptions raunchy, racist, gross, and vulgar.

Senator Cindy Hyde Smith walked out of the performance. Her spokesperson said she didn’t have to listen to it, so she got up and left. Apparently some of the other jokes were aimed at Asian people unquote, including one about quote Korean whorehouses. All one hundred and fifty attendees, which included more than forty Senate chiefs of staff, were told received an apology for organizers the next day, which read, this is great. While we do our best to ensure every aspect of our program is professional, courteous, and appropriate, we sincerely regret that the entertainment last night’s program fell short of that goal.

What did they think Schneider was going to do? The Senate Working Group, the organization that held the event, claimed that Schneider broke a verbal agreement to keep his set relatively clean.

Meanwhile, Gerrod Carmichael, who I’m just not interested in, is ready to set…

Recently, he was on The Breakfast Club. He told Charlemagne the God, you played a clip of my stand up, but it started the punchline, and it like completely erased the setup of it. I really don’t like that. It made it seem like I’m in some type of race sexual slavery roleplay with my boyfriend, which is untrue. It’s so false, and I expect that type of thing from TMZ because they have no humanity.

They don’t care about the people that get hurt when they report these sorts of things. But you’re a friend, Charlamaine said when he played the clip was the only part of the episode he had seen. Carmichael said, yeah, but I need you to watch the show, and anybody watches the show knows it’s not what I said. It’s so false, it’s so untrue. I don’t like that because it’s like it has nothing to do with my boyfriend, has nothing to do with the sex that we have, is nothing to do with It’s something that people have been reporting on I really really don’t like it, Carmichael explain in context, the joke is about my boyfriend reading so much that he makes me feel insecure about my level of reading.

I sometimes joke to him that our relationship is like that of a slave and a master’s son who teaches me how to read by candlelight. The gist of the joke is that Carmichael buys a lot of books but never actually reads them. From Late Night or a great website you should check out. SNL almost brought back Keenan Thompson’s OJ Simpson this week, and you may have heard that OJ Simpson passed away. Late Nighter says The sketch got as far as dress rehearsal, but they decided not to include it a weekend update.

According to people who were at the dress rehearsal, Thompson has OJ dressed as an angel, complete with a halo above his head, telling Colin Jos about his new life in heaven. As the bit progressed, it became clear that OJ is in hell but doesn’t realize it. He describes seeing great food everywhere, but it turning into dust whenever he tries to eat it. He says he went back to the physical shape he was as a pro football player, but whenever he tries to score, he’s off by a yard and has to return to the other end of the field. Colin Jos then suggested OJ’s actually in hell keenan as OJ protested, asking if he’s in hell, why are his lawyers here too.

Another joke saw Simpson removing his black leather glove, only for it to reappear on his hand. Seems like Collette Fountain, who writes for The Daily Beast, does not enjoy Jimmy Carr the way I do the headline on The Daily Beast byline by Collett Fountain, Jimmy Carr really needs you to know how quote unquote edgy he is. In his latest Netflix special, the British comic goes out of his way to warn viewers that he might get canceled. It’s exhausting. I don’t think you understand Jimmy’s act.

He’s been doing that since before cancel became a term associated with comedy. He has always done that. That is what the act is. He has always done the a you can’t say this thing, and then he pushes it and pushes it to illustrate it. That’s what the act is.

If you don’t like the act, that’s fine, But that would be like somebody doing twenty minutes complaining that Adam Saylor movies are stupid. That person doesn’t understand what an Adam sailor will. Wait. I like Jimmy car lot, I haven’t seen the special yet, clude Fountain writes. If you miss the trailers or his Instagram post in which he prehemptively apologizes to insert a grieve party name here, don’t worry, because Car drives the point home.

The second especial begins, opening with people say, you can’t choke about anything these days. Watch me now. The comic goes on to use a litany of buzzwords associated with anti woke, miss jokes that might get me canceled, and a segment of deliberately controversial jokes ensure that Car’s agenda is not lost in translation. Again, that’s what a Jimmy Carr special is. If telling himself that his critics are part of the zombified Wocladi mob helps Car maintain his ignorance to the consequence of his comedy, that so be it.

We all need to find a way to sleep at Night whatever. Kevin Hard announced a tour. It is called Acting My Age. I believe he had been a sort of touring under in progress or work in progress or next act in progress. Anyway, it’s got a name now my Age.

I know this was starting on Long Island. I’ll also play Seattle, Portland, Houston, Oakland, at Boston, Philly, some other places, including the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival in Edmonton July twelfth through the fourteenth. I thought this one was interesting. This also from Late Nighter. They noticed that the Conan O’Brien profile and the Holliad reporter mentions that Team Coco slate includes a show staring Cheers co stars Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson.

Here let me read it. Seeing that, I’ll comment. The show’s description teases the podcast is a chance to reconnect both with each other and the amazing friends that they’ve each met over the decades. That is, when Ted can get a hold of Woody. It’s not a straight Cheers rewatch.

Danson has suggested that Cheers will be a topic of conversation, and he says of Woody, we don’t really know each other after thirty years of not being together every day, so we’re catching up with each other. The truth is we’re having a ball. So in a previous life, this podcast was pitched to me and the other people in the room. We all looked at each other and to us, I think this was during the pandemic. It just sounded like an agent fishing for money, and our vibe was Neither Ted nor Woody actually wanted to do a podcast.

They just wanted to get paid to do a podcast. That version of the pitch also was not a Cheers rewatch. We didn’t develop it. Good luck serious XM. Roots of Comedy with Jesus Treyho is a new comedy documentary series hailing from PBS So Cal.

This will stream on the PBS app May twenty fourth. The series follows Mexican American comedian and host Hazus Trejo as he embarks on a journey to tell the stories behind the laughs. He visits six US regions, including La Denver, and Portland, where he meets six rising comedians. That sounds like it could be pretty cool, right If you don’t want to stream it on May twenty fourth, it will air on PBS stations on June twenty first at ten Eastern if you want to add that to your calendar. BT has added to the twenty twenty four Beet Experience.

It’s a late night comedy series that will debut at this year’s event at the Miracle Theater in LA hosted each night by Chris Spencer and Friends. Gribbed as a unique blend of comedic brilliance and cultural relevance from today’s hottest comedians. June twenty sixty to twenty eighth. Tiffany Hattish and Michael Blaxon will headline on Thursday and Friday. The Wednesday night headliner TBD Lily Tomlins.

This is a recording became the thirteenth comedy album and the first by woman to be inducted into the National Recording Registry. The other albums are Tom Lair’s Songs by Tom Lair from nineteen fifty three, Mort Sahl’s At Sunset from nineteen fifty eight, Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks Two Thousand Years with Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks from nineteen sixty, Bob Newhart’s The Button Down Mind of Bob Newhart nineteen sixty. Stan Freiberg Presents the United States of America nineteen sixty one, Vaughan Maters The First Family in nineteen sixty two, Bill Cosby, I started out as a child nineteen sixty four, Fire Signed Theaters. Don’t crush that Dwarf, Hand me the pliers nineteen seventy. Boy, these are all ancient records.

George Carlin’s Class Clown nineteen seventy two sounds modern, but that’s fifty years ago now. Groucho Marks an Evening with Grouchow from nineteen seventy two. What’s that? This was a double album by the witty TV and film comedian. It’s all I can tell you about it.

Don’t have any more details on that. I guess I could look that up. Let’s look that up. See a one man show by grouch Show edited from three separate performances at New York’s Carnegie Hall, someplace in Iowa, and somewhere in San Francisco. Still not much to tail on it.

Moving on, Richard Pryors Wanted from nineteen seventy eight and Steve Martin’s A Wild and Crazy Guy from nineteen seventy eight. I don’t know. Do things have to be forty years old to get on this list? I don’t know. So I am off my game today.

I am stumbling left and right, and I have had to make a million edits because I flew red Eye from Los Angeles. Can I just ask everyone please please stop flying red Eyes with babies. I feel like one hundred percent of the red Eyes I take. Somebody brings a baby, the baby’s gonna scream the whole flight. Now, the whole point of a red eye is we’re trying to sleep.

Everyone knows what a red eye is. Accept these people with the babies. What are you doing so roughnight? I’m half asleep. Let’s see.

In La the National Donuts chain had cinnamon vanilla ice coffee that was pretty good. And I was at the Green Coffee place that Kenny, who was one of the supporters of the show, always encourages me to visit, and I was at a particular location that I associate my mind with Kenny. Kenny, hope you’re doing well out there. If you enjoy the show, you can buy me a coffee. And buy me a coffee.

Dot com slash Daily Comedy News. You can’t buy Glenna beer because we’re not doing trivia. It’s volleyball season, that’s right. Tonight is the season opener of Beach Volleyball. Oh, I forgot I had added this to today’s counter.

Okay, we have to do an intervention. This intervention is for Jim Gaffigan. This clip I’m going to play from Jim Gaffigan hawking his new bourbon is really, really terrible. I suggest, even though this is my podcast, I suggest you hit thirty second skip because this is really really better. You prepared.

We need to get to Jim and tell him to cut this out because this is no working gym Gaffigan here. Let’s listen. There are these trends in the bourbon industry, like, oh, our bourbon was on a ship at sea. You’re not going to get a toy. Sorry, we don’t do that here at Father Time.

But I do give each barrel a pep talk, and since I am a qualified life coach, it’s pretty important and I think you can taste it. No, you’re doing great, You are doing great. You are not you are not swelling. What happens often is there’s a moment of story time. Once upon a time there was a barrel named Bennie, and well, Benny he was a fifteen year old seventy five twenty three eighteen ten mash pumps.

Yes, he was a four grain and well he had always dreamed of after he was turned into father time Bourbon, that he would go over Niagara Falls. It’s a true story, Jim bro Stop it’s not working at all. Just come on and go. Hey, Schim Gaffigan, I have anuw Bourbon. I hope you like it.

Stop with whatever you’re doing, it is not working. Let’s take a look at the festivals. If you’re in Dubai and go see a Mayor’s Zar today. Amyer Zars is a comedic journey through being Palestinian and Arab in today’s times. That’s probably a very very interesting show.

Moontower tonight. I like this title. Cheers Queers. That’s at the Creek in the Cave at six, The State at seven o’clock, Tim Robinson at seven, Stars in Bars. Some of these stars include Joel, Nicole Johnson, Let’s see Andy Kindler, Sam Jay, James Adomian, Ian Carmel, Shane Torres.

That’s a nice little show. Need to Know at seven o’clock. Eastmo at seven and the Texans at seven point thirty, Cam Patterson at seven thirty. Comedy Confidential seven thirty Sam Jay at eight, Drew Lynch at eight, Sarah Schaeffer at eight thirty. She’s Fantastic, Mary Radzinski at eight thirty.

New York’s Finest nine o’clock, The Internationals nine o’clock, Ken Flora is nine to thirty, Boy Moon Tower is Busy Night, huh rough Cut at nine thirty, Stamptown at nine thirty, Surrounded at nine thirty. Best of the Fest at ten on Zip ten thirty, Avery Pearson at eleven, and the after party at eleven. Okay, Let’s do Cheers Queers at six. That’ll take us about seven thirty. Let’s do Let’s grab a beer, and then let’s do Sarah Shaeffer at eight thirty.

That’ll take us to ten or so, so we can probably catch a late show. Let’s do the eighty eight show with Avery Pearson.

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Also on that show Carmen Christopher, Jeremiah Watkins, Andy Haynes, Cipher S…

No, I didn’t preload the site. What are you crazy? I’m not pulling clips because it can barely speak today. I need a nap. Let’s se here’s A show called two Minutes to Kill features fifteen comedians giving you two minutes of their funniest jokes.

Three hosts choose their favorite acts, and you, the audience, gets to choose who closes out the show with more jokes. That’s a good time, all right, let’s do that one. Two minutes to Kill. Let’s find one more, and then I’m gonna take a nap. Here’s one called Comedy Out West, a night filled with comedy not quite raw, more medium to well done, as local and imported comedians assemble in the West to ballot out for the all important audience vote.

All right, it’s a voting night. Let’s do those two shows. May Plannert is recording her new special at the Grove thirty four in a Storia. Mark Normand is producing it. Caro Burnett will get another Lifetime Achievement award, this one from the Greasy Awards in Beverly Hills on May twenty first, and Olivia with this, an Australian comedian has bored anyone over the age of eighty five from his stand up shows after getting into some words with an elderly crowd member, Blake Pavey shared a video from a recent show.

His opener got into it with a man in the audience who was heckling in with barbs like I wish you had some talent and say something funny. Mate. The opener shot back and said, is property not enough for you? They have to come and ruin my night. Pavey then took the stage for his sets and got into it with the older gentleman and said, how does the oldest seaword here have the lowest IQ yelled out, I’m still waiting to laugh.

Payvee said, on American being an entitled seaword, What a shacker. The man got up from his seat and went to leave. Payvee clocked it and joked, sorry, I’m trying to listen, but we have a dementia patient in the room. The man yelled back, I’m still waiting to laugh. The man then said I wish you were funny, mate.

Pavey said, I wish you weren’t a sea word, but we can’t all have what we want. Oh okay, there was probably a better version of me telling that story if I’m awake, but I am not stop taking babies on red eyes. See tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Chinny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Some leftover chokes from late night last week. You saw the whole thing with the abortion debate in Arizona. Seth Meyers said, eighteen sixty four.

Was anybody even there yet? What was this their first law? After don’t shoot the piano player. That’s a great joke, Colbert. The law is so old that it predates the invention of the cowboy hat, the urinal, the paper clip, and the machine that makes paper bags.

Should we really be enforcing laws from an era where the cutting edge tech was bag. Michael Costa commented on Trump’s repeated lie that Democrats want abortions to happen post birth. Cossa said, come on, dude, Democrats don’t execute babies after birth. They send them to Hillary so she can harvest their organs. Kimmel on a totally different topic, of course.

The cherry tree is the basis for one of our nation’s most cherished, untrue stories about a young George Washington who used his new hatchet to chop down his father’s cherry tree. When his father asked, did you do this, he replied, no, it’s a total witch hunt, which is great, great joke. Ralph Barbosa is going to have a featured spot at the upcoming Netflix as a Joke Festival. Ralph will host something called Introducing Dot Dot, a showcase highlighting emerging comics. This will be at the Vermont Hollywood in La on May one.

Some of the comedians include Glorillis Mora, Rene Vaka, Alec Flynn, Ashima Franklin, Dylan Carlino, Kill Creepe, and Mondal all caps. I’m not familiar with any of them, which is great. I think it’s great that Netflix is spotlighting eight comedians or so whose names I haven’t even seen after prepping this show every day for almost five years. That’s awesome. Good job Netflix.

Emma San was curious about Dusty Sleigh and how he’ll break apart at country songs does He said, I can’t stop doing it. His famous routine makes fun of Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffetts. It’s five o’clock somewhere. Slay takes exception with the line it’s only half best twelve, but I don’t care. It’s five o’clock somewhere, says, and I’m like, well that’s not true.

You know, maybe five point thirty somewhere, but we don’t lose half an hour just because you change time zones. Well, now I realized that Newfoundland, Canada actually does have a half hour time zone. Sounds like Sleigh has fried his brain. He said, I can’t just enjoy myself reading a children’s book. Now he questions the logical stories like Humpty Dumpty.

If he’s so fragile, why did they let him sit on the wall. Then all of a sudden, here come the horses and they’re like, oh, we’ll help.

And now we’re like, oh, we got a lot more pieces.

That’s great. The Cider spoke to Neil Brennan. They asked Neil if we’re supposed to think of comedians as civic leader. As Neil said, it should be like the stress release and a ballast to the punishment of life. It should be fun.

So this idea obviously like Carlin he’s a poet and all that he’s a drug addict, Louis c. K philosopher King, go on, all this stuff of exalting people. It’s like, cut it out. No one can live up to this. And it’s also incredibly childish that you need another person to do that when you can.

So that’s my feeling about all this stuff. It’s like it’s childish. I get it, I understand it, I understand how it happened, et cetera. But like the Supreme Court has no credibility. But so all right, Rogan and Chappelle step up what Clarence Thomas has given RVs, but expect more from you clown.

Decider said, well, isn’t that John Oliver’s fault for becoming an Emmy winning voice for calling us to action? Neil said, he’s a consumer advocate, but he didn’t move to Maraga to become a consumer advocate. I think he kind of fell into it. No one can win Gandhi e racist? Should I go on Martin Luther, King Philanderer?

And then you get assassinated? Desider said, so, I guess I won’t ask your thoughts on Palestine. Neil said, you don’t want to know? Yes, also, who cares? And I would hugely disappoint you, but I’m not going to say which direction.

Mark Maron has been cast in Owen Wilson’s upcoming Apple TV Plus golf comedy. Owen Wilson plays Price k Hill and Over the Hill ex pro golfer whose career was derailed prematurely twenty years ago. Mark Maren will play Mits Pryce’s best friend and former caddie. Ten Episodes. Ay Chris Farley biopic is in the works.

Josh Gadd set to direct. I thought he’d actually be good as Chris Fourley. The film will adapt the best selling biography The Chris Farley Show Up, a biography in three acts by Tom Farley Junior. Lorne Myias is producing, so that’ll definitely get made. Paul Walter Hauser will play Chris Farley.

Leanne Morgan’s new book is called What in the World And It came out of asking just that, Leanne tells people the book is a celebration of my wild ride from a child growing up in rural Tennessee to one of the top touring comedians in the country. I shared all, from the many mistakes to the triumphs my story as a testament to the fact that it’s never too late, should never give up any importance of embracing it all with laughter and love. In Mumbai, a restaurant owner and his five staffers were booked for writing after they allegedly threw eggs at comedian Mumoir for Rookie. Sources say the accused had invited Ferruki to their restaurant, but he went to another eatery nearby, so they threw eggs at him. The bitispit between the Golden Dog in thefel on the Golden Bloats.

We have few WK cam shots of Taylor Swift. You enjoy what I do here, you can go to buy meacoffee dot COM’s last Daily Comedy News. The parking lot at the Donuts chain has been packed lately, and I park on the side. People have figured out that side parking is actually the move, and now I can’t even park on the side. It’s really annoying.

Taking a look at the comedy festivals. One show in Dubai tonight. It’s Christa Stefano at Moontower seven o’clock. Amy Sidaris seven o’clock, Josh Johnson eight o’clock. Ken Floor is nine thirty Kathy Griffin nine thirtymo.

I’ve heard a lot about Ismo. Let’s make him the late show early on. Amy Sidaris, Josh Johnson, Ken Flores. I don’t know anything about Ken. Let me click on this.

Ken Flora is Chicago based stand up comedian, a raising star in comedy thanks to his hilarious TikTok and Instagram reels. Hmmm, I kind of want to do that show. I like seeing people I haven’t seen before. All Right, we’ll do Ken floor As at eight and then we’ll do Eastmo at nine thirty.

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Meanwhile, in Melbourne, it’s another one of those random days where instead …

That makes it confusing for me. All Right, Aaron Goarx. I hope I’m saying his name right. He has a recreation of the classic late night TV format ala Letterman, Leno, Conan, Course and et cetera. Well, that’s in my wheelhouse.

Let’s take a listen to this. So I’m a dad. Is there any dads out there? I’m not the only one who’s ruined my life? No, right, they’re not too bad.

I love them a lot, actually, but they’re quite mischievous. I’ve got two daughters. Their ages are six and eight, and they’re quite mischievous. They run through the house a lot, and I’m always saving them, like slow down, bloody Elle, slow down, watch where you’re going, you know, because I’m worried about them, but they don’t listen. They just keep on doing it, keep on running for the house.

And I’m worried something bad’s gonna happen. And sure enough it did. Just recently happen to my youngest daughter, Katie smacked her head right on the kitchen bench, up a nasty wound, you know. But I did rush her along with the doctor as quick as I could. Well, when I say as quick as I could, I did stop off at Red Rooster on the way, but I didn’t want to be listening to the doctor on her empty stomach.

But the doctor was great. When I got her there, he patched up the injury. He was quite gentle, and he said, look, take the next day off school to rest and recover. That’s what Katie did, and the next day came around. We dropped her off in her classroom, and as I dropped her off, her teachers noticed the injury, and she’s asked Katie what happened.

And Katie, being young, she’s not very confident and quite shy, so she was stumbling a bit. She was like, and I couldn’t just stand back and watch this. I wanted to step in and help her out, so I was like, you bumped your head, Katie. Okay, guy in abasement recording a podcast. That was a long way for an okay joke.

I think there’s some materially in there, but he’s gotta work on his pacing. I mean that was a long clip. You were probably listening to the podcast going, oh my god, John Hook this clip? Were you not? You were?

I almost bailed out of it too, but he got eventually to that punchline. But yeah, you tighten up the writing, man, Get to it, get to it, get to it, Okay. Next up, the Yanka Isamelovski’s show is called Working Girl. She’s here with her third solo stand up show, taking you on a ride through her sixth work career. Uh oh, let’s see how far I can get into this clip before I have to keep it clean.

Let’s listen. The thing is like, I’m bisexual, right and I when it comes to that’s it. That was the entire clip, one second before she started saying things I can’t play for you. I try. Bonnie Tangy’s show is called Lab Meet.

So I recently came out of a long term relationship, right, and I’ve been reading this self help book for breaking up, and in it they say that you got to learn to enjoy spending some time alone again. So they say what you should do is take yourself out on a date. So right, just take yourself to a dinner, movie something like that, just on your own. But I haven’t done it yet. I’m just not going to pay for dinner for myself when I know I’m frigid.

It’s a waste of money. But I don’t actually have a lot of luck with guys, and I don’t really know why. Like, I mean, I know I’m not a supermodel. I know that I’m not like Bondo Beach level hot, but I am bondad Junction hot. I reckon, have you guys been to Bonda Junction lately?

Yeah, it’s not that good. So that’s why that’s funny. So I reckon, parents are way too protective of kids these days, like super overprotective, and like I’m not an expert or anything, like I don’t even have my own kid. It’s not anymore. She’s okay, I’m tempted to critique the pacing, but you know she’s got a deliberate delivery.

So okay, let’s do one more Chloe Pets Show is called if you Can’t Say Anything Nice Now. The cover art here is Chloe giving us the middle finger. So I’m worried that this could be a little naughty, but you know, we’ll try. Let’s listen, fantastic. My name is Chloe.

I’ve al really gigged much in Australia, and I’m sort of worried that some of my cultural references are going to get lost. For example, I’m a lesbian. Do you guys have that here? Fantastic, We’ve got some down the front pink hare I can see. I’m a butch lesbian.

I love butch lesbians, not in a gay way. No, I don’t sleep with butcher women, not because I don’t find them attractive. It’s just logistically very difficult to get two butcher lesbians in the same room together to have sex because we’re just perpetually walking each other home. She’ll get me to my door and I’ll be like, well, I guess I better getting you home that little lady. The little lady in question is one hundred and fifty pound hockey player named Rock.

Very funny. I like her a lot. Fantastic. That is Chloe Pets and I wanted to leave you with this. I saw this on Twitter.

This is from Bossom Yusef. He tweeted this on March twenty first. But when I read it to you, you’ll see why it makes sense. But I really like this, he wrote. Today, I am fifty.

I remember a time when I thought thirty is quite old, forty is really real old, and fifty is one step away from death. Today I am fifty, and it was coming. It was so far, and you had approaching so slow. It creeps up on you bit by bit. And you wake up and you’re fifty.

At the age of twenty. You feel like you’re a ready tired, exhausted. You can’t imagine going on thirty more years like that, and yet you do. You’re there. You wake up and you’re fifty.

Maybe there’s one thing you wish you didn’t leave behind. Youth, Oh youth, What a wasted potential of people still have it? You see, I’m already sounding as a grumpy old man who just turned fifty. You want to hold on or whatever remains of youth you have. You want to look younger.

I feel younger, b younger. The fake humility you pretend to show whenever someone tells you, oh, but you look great for fifty. Rule of thumb. If people start telling you you look good for your age, buddy, you have aged. Imagine someone tells you you look great for twenty, you will punch them in the face.

Today I am fifty, a day that I might have dreaded, seeing wrinkles and furrows on my face, and people close to you trying to convince you to do something for the wrinkles and the gray hair, and they utter the magical words so you can look you know, younger. Yeah, here it is younger, our kryptonide or Achilles heel, our holy grail, our pain, our desires, our needs, our insecurities, our life potion, our happiness, and our grief, all at once. Younger, Well, I am not. I am fifty. I am now more familiar, more friendlier, and even more in tune with these wrinkles and cracks and white hair all at once.

I’ve spent more time with them than anybody else. Time has traced all my life and ease. Why would I erase that? Why would erase me? For the last five years, I plan for my fiftieth birthday photoshoot where it looks so good with lights and professional photography, so i’d hear the praise of not looking my age but for what it’s me.

And I’m fifty. So here is a simple elfie, no filter, no photoshop, no stupid ego trip. Today I am fifty, I am alive, I am here, and I’m very grateful. That’s your comedy needs for today.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Seoannie Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Happy tax day, boy, aren’t you excited? Some jokes from Late Night not about taxes, but Jimmy Kimmel said President Biden condemned that decision in Arizona. He said he wasn’t in favor of the law when they passed it back in eighteen sixty four, and he’s not a fan of it now.

I love that kind of joke because it’s not really about Biden. It’s just a generic old man joke. But it’s so funny. Kimmell again. The porn star hush money trial starts Monday.

That’s today, and with all Trump’s many last minute efforts to delay have failed, his only move left is to have sex with everyone in the courtroom and pay them one hundred and thirty thousand dollars to keep their mouth shut. Jimmy Kimble for a third one. The Biden campaign launched a new program to engage voters in the LGBTQ loss of community. It’s called Out for Biden Harris, which is a collign title, but definitely better than their original slogan, which was I’m a joemo sexual Now have you heard I’m not doing the voice, but have you heard the Norm MacDonald cadence As I took all those pauses. I don’t know if you noticed it.

Hit thirty second? What’s not whatever? The opposite of skip is go back thirty seconds listen to where I took the pauses again. I’m not doing that deliberately, but I’ve been listening to so much of Norm doing OJ Simpson jokes that that kind of pattern is in my head and I keep coming back to. I shared this joke on Friday, but I’m gonna do it again in my half assed Norm McDonald impression because I feel like if Norm was still around, this is the joke we would have gotten.

This is from comedian Robert Burrell. He tweeted this, I’ve already told you this, but I’ll do it in half assed Norm this time. O. J. Simpson’s family announced he died of cancer.

Cancer, on the other hand, has begun looking for the real killer where it was so funny. Here’s another one from Jimmy Fallon. But again, I’m stuck in this Norm cadence. I’ll do it in half ass Norm again. Baseball Superstar Show.

Hey Otani’s ex interpreter has been charged with allegedly stealing over sixteen million dollars from Otani in a gambling scheme or as the interpreter told Otani. They’re saying, I’m innocent. I may have told that one better than Fallon. I don’t know, should I find that joke? Let’s see if I told it better than Fallon.

I’m hitting pause. I’m going digging for that joke. Okay, I found it. Well, listen to this. The Justice Department announced that Baseball Superstar Show Hey, Otani’s ex interpreter has been charged for allegedly stealing over sixteen million dollars from Otani in a gambling scheme, or as the interpreter told Otani.

They’re saying, I’m innocent. You tell me. I think me as Norm was funnier than Fallon as Fallon. Maybe I’m delusionable. Hollywood Reporter did a cover story with Conan O’Brien and they got to it.

Conan. There was talk about a weekly variety show. You know, Conan’s doing this travel thing. He was all over the press last week. Conan said that whole thing cracked me up.

When we were wrapping up the TBS show, there was a pre existing agreement that we would continue on at Max HBO Max then and then I’d figure that port out. When it came out that I was going to be doing a comedy variety show, we didn’t know where that came from. It turned out that someone in the press department had just said something like, ah, yeah, that’s this category for US variety. Suddenly I’m getting contacted by jugglers or writers are calling me up saying, are you gonna be like Dean Martin? No, I was never going to be the seventy fifth person to try and bring back the hour long variety show and have it not work.

See. I think he would be great at that because the acts would be terrible and he would make it funny. Conan, what do you miss most about the nightly gig? Conan said, I missed that band terribly, the way you miss a lost limb. I’m an amateur guitarist, and I got to play with those guys every day.

I got to the point where they had a hard time getting me to rehearse the comedy. I swear to God, if somebody got me a job as a rhythm player and some rockabilly R and B band, I might disappear. What does he miss the least, the volume, the over and over again with multiple guests tonight, and making sure they’ve plugged their project. These shows exist because they’re promotional machines. I always understood that my goal was to make it as creative as possible with everything else.

But over thirty years, he gets to a point where the oil doesn’t get to certain parts of the machine. I started to burn out a little bit. One of the things I love about the podcast is that most people don’t come on to promote. They asked him if he got any advice from Howard Stern when he went over to that place I used to work, and Conan said, I’d be intimidated to call Howard. I’m worried that he’d put me on the air, would be having a really good conversation that he’d asked me, when did you lose your virginity?

Conan was also on CNN a few hours after the news broke that OJ Simpson had died. That was a coincidence, Conan said, I never make a joke about someone the day they passed. It was a huge deal back then. Most notably he’s passed on, but Norm MacDonald one of my best guests of all time in one of the great comedians of all time. He did the most brilliant comedy of anybody during that period.

Tapper asked about the reports that norm acclaimed he was fired because he frequently mocked OJ Simpson while hosting a weekend update. Conan said, yeah, the head of the network at the time was tight with OJ. Anyway, water another bridge Conena doing full on court press was also on Hot Ones. He made fun of HBO Max as I sometimes do. He said, is it HBO Max or just Max?

I can’t get used to it. It’s not a better name. I have a show. It’s on Max. They used to call it HBO, but people found that too popular, so now it’s Max because that really rolls off the tongue and it’s a funny show.

David Letterman in the news. In a new video on Letterman’s YouTube channel, he said, a year or two ago, we realized we had this big hunk of plastic with the late Show sign on it. He didn’t know what to do with it, so they raffled it off for charity. Anybody who donated ten dollars a more to Habitat for Humanity would be entered to win the twenty foot wide sign. The promotion end up raising one hundred and sixteen thousand dollars.

New Jersey resident Helen Halford won the sign, but the real winner turned out to be your uncle, Preston. Halford learned she won, and then she realized she has nowhere to put it twenty foot signs, so she asked her uncle, who owns a one hundred and fifty year old born in Connecticut, if he had won it. He said yeah. Letterman said, I will say the uncle’s property here is lovely, and I feel confident that the sign has found a lovely new home. Now, I want you to pay a lot of attention on this next story.

This from I ninety five Rock. They spoke to Carlos Mencia. Okay, you ready pay attention. I’m gonna do each story twice because I want to make sure you’re paying attention. Carlos Smithcia said, listen, it’s been a crazy year.

I’ve never been busier. All the kids who were between eight and twelve when Mind of Mencia came out or now of age, so they’re coming to see the shows. It’s like a resurgence. It’s been amazing Well’s comedy right now needs voices like mine and tell everybody comedy is meant to be funny. If you don’t get that, get out of here.

Okay, I just want to recap that story. Carlos Smiencia says. All the kids who were between eight and twelve when Mind of Mencia came out are now of age and they’re coming to see the shows. You got that, all right? Write that down.

Now, here’s the second story from I ninety five rock. Wanting to pay attention because I’m gonna go over this twice, Carlos Smencia said, bro, And yesterday I got a phone call from a big hotel in Vegas who was like, hey, we want you to do a residency. Hey, you got that, Carlos Mencia says. A hotel in Vegas wants Carlos Mencia to do a residency. You got that.

You wrote that down? Okay, good, Carlos said. I’m like, I’m already booked every weekend. They were like, no, we want you to do Sunday and Monday and then we’ll grow from there. Carlos said.

I was like, man, I don’t know that I could be doing that. That would be Sunday, Monday, take off, Tuesday, flyout Wednesday, Thursday through Saturday. That’s a bit much, Bruh. Listen. I know my name is Mencia and I’m an immigrant, but I’m not that much of an immigrant, bro.

I’m not working that all hard. I’ve got my papers. You know what I’m saying. You’ve got to give me legal type work. Okay.

Just to want to recap again, people who watched Mind of Mencia are like, Oh, now that we’re old enough, let’s go see Carlos Mencia because we loved Mind of Mencia. And a hotel in Vegas wants Carlos Mencia to do a residency. Just make sure you got that right. Carlos addressed Mencia gate from a million years ago. You may recall Joe Rogan and some others accused Carlos of stealing jokes in the past.

I believe and less undelusional, he admitted to stealing jokes. I think he admitted it to me in the whole way of serious. But my memory may be getting fuzzy. Carlos told a ninety five rock or whatever it was, I wasn’t doing what they said. I wasn’t plagiarizing or anything.

The interesting thing about that is I went up on stage while Joe was on because he said something about me when he was on stage. So he said, hey, this next guy opens up for Carlos Mensteelia. I think that’s what he said. So I went up on stage and I was like, hey, bro, you keep saying I steal jokes. What joke did I ever steal of yours?

To be fair, Carlos Smancy has never stolen any of my jokes. That is true.

Also, you’d have to ask Rogan about his.

Of course, he never had an answer for that because I never stole any jokes from him. He’s never accused me of taking a joke from him. But I said to myself, if one person thinks you’re a D word, that’s one thing. If everybody thinks you’re a D word, everybody’s mad at you for some reason. So okay.

So the defense here is you never stole a joke from Joe Rogan, Carlos said, said, so I had to look into myself and find out what it is that I was doing to these guys to hurt their feelings. Basically, when I found out that is when I was a kid coming up as a comedian, we called it paying your You’d have a spot and you’d get excited, and then all of a sudden, Robin Williams came in and bumped you. All of a sudden, Richard Pryor came in and bumped you. All of a sudden, some celebrity Martin Lawrence came in and bumped you. Dice Clay came in and bumped you.

That’s the way it was. So look, when you get a TV show, then you can do that. So I started working with a guy named Rick Rubin. I assume it’s that Rick Rubin who told me, you gotta go on the road, cultivate this, make this thing yours. You got to go out and really experience life.

I started doing that and I was gone for about five years doing the road. By the time I came back to the comedy Store and I got Mind of Mencia. For those of that you were younger, what Mind of Mencia was was Comedy Central going, oh my god, Chappelle’s not doing another season of Chappelle’s show. What do we got? And they did Mind of Mencia, which was like the Chappelle Show minus the good parts, And I got Mineum, Mansea.

Those kids were the participation trophy kids. I’m really dumping on Cross the one time, maybe I met him twice. He was cool. The new kids where the generation of I don’t want to get hayes to get in the club. I don’t want to have to pay my dues.

I’m on the schedule ready, Why are you guys putting someone else on the schedule. I had to kind of look inside and go, all right, who am I? What am I? I heard a lot of people’s feelings. Is what it is to boil it down?

Are we suggesting here that Joe Rogan and Carlos Mencia are in different generations of comedy? Let’s see, Joe Rogan is fifty six, Carlos Mencia is fifty six. Okay, now I’ve gone to Google and I typed in Carlos Mencia and I started to type in the next word. I got as far as ad and it has autocompleted to Carlos Mencia admits, here’s a clip. The voice you’re about to hear is Carlos Mencia.

Let’s see what he has to say about Carlos Mencia stealing jokes. This is Carlos Mencia discussing whether or not Carlos Mencia steals jokes. A lot of people out there are going to ask why did they interview Carlos about this? You know, Carlos is a joke thief. Carlos steals jokes, and we know this.

And I listen to me and look at me when I tell you this with all honesty. If you think that I steal jokes, yeah, you’re right, of course, I’m still jokes. Are you out of your mind? When I come to a comedy club, you better run, bitch, you better get off stage, because if anything you say is even remotely funny, I’m gonna make it mine. And all I’m gonna do is say Mexican in the front.

I’m like a rapper. I just sampled and make it my own. Was that really my song? I don’t know, but it sounds like mine, but it kind of sounds like somebody else’s. It’s a hit, bitch.

Here’s Carlos Smincia speaking to Bobby Lee and Bobby’s podcast long clip here, and I’m going to make some edits, both for pacing and for language. So how are you feeling now with all the controversy that happened a decade ago. I mean, what’s going on fourteen years ago? Now? Fourteen years ago?

Yeah, I realized, like my absence from the Internet in all those years allowed a narrative to be created that will never change no matter what I do, no matter what I say, no matter how I come about it, of what my perspective is, it just is the way it is. Like There’s nothing I could do about it, and that is a very difficult thing to do for somebody who is a control freak like me. Look, as you know, I’m always thinking about if I do this, then that then one are the ramifications of all this stuff. So my biggest regret is back in those days, you know, when all this stuff happened, was to fight it, not fight it, but to like I’ve recorded all my shows since nineteen ninety three, I don’t have to fight anybody on anything. If somebody comes up to me and says, hey, you’re doing my joke, I could easily go, what joke is it?

When did you tell it? Let me go look, and then if you did it before me, I’ll stop doing it or whatever. It is. Like I’ve always had that, Yeah, but I stayed quiet, and it just got bigger and bigger and bigger, and now it’s just like that’s what it is. But why not skip it?

Ned? Why not do in the beginning just a blanket apology? But I wasn’t see let me get this, understand, understand what happened anytime even to this day, bro, Yeah, somebody says you stole a joke? I go, okay, well what joke was it? Not?

Angry? Like what joke? Dude? I write a lot, you know this, I create a lot of material, some of your act, you know, I mean a little too close to things that have already been established, Like let’s like the Bill Cosby bit. Yeah, I’ve never seen that one, so I know.

By point though, is that it’s so similar? Right? Yeah? Yeah that why not just outwardly say I apologize and then we could just move on from it rather than you constantly defended. But it’s not that I’m defending.

See again, it’s not that I’m defending. I just who do I apologize to? Good job, Bobby Lee there. If you want to seek that one out, I found that on YouTube. Let me just tell you what it’s called.

Bobby. He confronts Carlosmancy about stealing jokes and Joe Rogan, I’ll throw it in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News podcast group Mine. Now we’re getting long, all right? What else can I tell you about? South Park?

Creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are teaming with Kendrick Lamar, a live action comedy that will hit theaters July fourth, twenty twenty five. No details other than Kendrick Lamar and the date. Well, let’s take a look at the comedy festivals here. On Monday, Pretty quiet in Dubai Emma Dumagae, the first Filipina stand up comedian based in Dubai. That’s the only show in Dubai tonight.

Moontower is actually dark. They’re back tomorrow. And in Melbourne, Oliver Coleman’s show is called Goof, winner of the Best Comedy Weekly Award at twenty twenty two Adelaide Fringe. The Adelaide Advertiser said, comic genius catapults to the point of sheer chaos. All right, that’s some high praise.

Let’s listen. I love performing stand up comedy, I do. I love I love stand up right, But at the same time, sometimes I do think, you know, like of all the art forms, right, like music, film, et cetera. It’s just a bit muh, you know, like it’s just a person standing on stage talking into a microphone. Isn’t it like like it’s the art form that most resembles a school assembly.

Isn’t it The fact that’s risen to the level of like popularity in the current culture that it has just blows my mind right? Like you got, you got? You could have done anything tonight, you know, you could have just stayed at home, gone on the internet and watched pretty much whatever you wanted from the whole history of human art and entertainment. But instead you came here to library story time for grown ups to And then the clip abruptly ended. But not bad.

Ben co Chan’s share was called winning smile. Ben’s been keeping his eyes open lately and his nose well and true to the grainstone. He’s trayed to stop looking at his phone as much. He walks down the street, no phone beat mega and says Coachan is a silly guy. Let’s listen slately, naughty here.

Good to see people having a few brew skis nothing wrong with that. I might get a little drink after this. I treat myself to a little virgin Dacrey. That’s right, it’s a normal dacory. But I drink it.

You Belgian alert? I am. You know this is good. I’m very excited. But something bad did happen to me recently.

You guys wouldn’t believe this. Someone told me that my head is too narrow? Can you believe that? And they’ve done it such as myself. I’m the most handsome man in my synagogue and they said that to me.

I couldn’t believe it. I think they may have a point, though, because I think my head might be too narrow, because I went for a massage recently and my head slipped right through that little hole. I went right through. It was brun ole. I’ve got about a happy ending?

What about an upsetting beginning? Now? He came out in shorts? Is that something the zy comedians do. I’m gonna have to have somebody from Australia come on and explain Australian comedy to me.

The shorts thing is really throwing me off.

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All right, let’s find one more today.

It’s so deep into the festival I can’t remember who we’ve done or not. Sam Taunton’s how to tie a tie? I don’t think we’ve done this one. Let’s listen. I’m a big movie fan.

I like watching movies. One of my favorite movies recently it was a movie nineteen seventeen. I’m not sure if anyone saw it. It’s an Academy Award winning movie. It’s about World War One.

It’s so good. I wanted to watch this movie in lockdown, but it wasn’t on any of the streaming services, and I don’t know how to illegally download movies. LimeWire doesn’t exist anymore, so it’s beyond me. So I googled it one day. I was like, nineteen seventeen Academy Award winning World War One movie, How do I watch?

And I ended up on Reddit and this guy’s like, hey, I’ve uploaded the movie for free. Click this link. And I clicked the link and it took me to porn Hub. Yeah. I was like, that’s pretty funny, fair play to this dude.

But then I actually clicked play on the video on porn Hub and I realized that this hero had actually uploaded the entirety of the Academy Award winning World War One movie nineteen seventeen to the popular pornography platform porn Hub because you can just do that, you can. I thought that would stop it. I don’t know why I thought a government or maybe a fact checker at porn Hub. I thought someone was on the back end watching the videos come in, being like this isn’t horny enough for me. Get out of here.

He’s good, good stage presence, good storyteller. Let that clip go a little long and get to the punch. But that’s Sam Taunton and that performance from the twenty twenty two Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala. If you want to look that clip up. Hey, it’s Monday, and for once I’m remembering to tell you that I host the Weekly Comedy Thing on the Live one app.

The app is free, the show is free. On this week’s show, Kyle Knee and Robin Williams, Eugene Merman, Louis Anderson, George Lopez, John Mulaney, Paul Mooney, Chris Rock, Steve Harvey, step Tolev gab Iglesias, Tom Sigora, Larry the Cable Guy, Pete Davidson and Veered Daz. The Weekly Comedy Thing, it’s like this with more comedy, less me. Sounds perfect, doesn’t it. And that’s your comedy news for today.

If you enjoy the program, tell a friend about it. They might like it. To buy me a coffee. Dot com slash Daily Comedy News see tomorrow