Daily Comedy News Podcast Transcripts

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Johnie Mack with your Daily Comedy News. John. You never talk about Jerry Seinfeld. I know, right, it’s so much press.

Jerry was asked about his debate with Mark Marin. Narren believes in bearing his soul on stage. Jerry leaves in fidelity to the joke. Jerry said, my attitude, I think was more talking to comedians. I think comedians, if they want to survive throughout their life doing this, they have to pay close attention to the laughs.

There’s no less value in what Maren’s doing, but I would worry about how long it would last in your life. Maren’s done, Okay, But yeah, that’s a good point. We’re both right, just different. Jerry himself wants to do stand up to the very end of life. The only hard part of my life is the other things.

People do ask me about slung down and I go. The work part of my life is not stand up, it’s all the other things. Stand Up is an incredible, pure experience. Surfing is the great regret of my life that I never got good at. I did it for two weeks one time, many years ago, feeling that energy, that natural life force, energy under you and around you.

I never get tired of that. Will Jerry do another standup special? Nope. I’d love to think of something else if I ever want to do it, which I don’t right now, like comedians and cars getting coffee. The subtext of that is I’m really sick of talk shows on TV.

That’s why I did that. That was my anti talk show. So I’d want to do an anti stand up special if I did one. I envy sometimes these little Italian artisans who don’t really care if anybody knows who they are what they do, and stand up could be like that. Stand up in a way is a kind of private, lonely world.

I’m going to Daton on Friday. No one’s gonna know what happened there. I’m very attracted to that. I’m more attracted to that than Hey, everybody, I made a movie. He then compares that feeling to Seinfeld.

When it started, we thought this would be a really fun, little batique thing that’ll just get our people, this kind of quirky, offbeat thing, and that would be cool. What a became was never on our radar. Then suddenly you’re a big wave surfer. I think it was tougher on Larry David than for me, because you feel the pressure. I never minded the pressure.

Tom Papa used to open for Jerry Seinfeld. He spoke to the Columbus Underground and Tom said, I think the thing I’m most proud of is I’ve been able to stay high, positive and talk about the things that weren’t cynical and be more hopeful. But also I would be really good. You can be naive, hackey and goofy and serve that hopeful kind of thing, but I wanted to be the standard I hold other comedians too, and still not cave into being dirty, cynical and dark. Tom talked about getting into comedy and says there are virtually no gatekeepers now.

Like when I started, you had to get on The Tonight’s Show or Letterman and then ultimately HBO, and that was a very small group of people that got to do that. Now you can do whatever you want. You can have your own podcast, but stuff up on social media, you can speak directly to the audience. I think it’s been great that all these people were able to just kind of create your fan base and go out there and door and do your thing. Variety spoke to Tony Hingecliff about the Wonderful Kill Tony Podcast and we’re curious of his nuggets of inspiration for potential performers.

Tony said, it’s a very dark, lonely road. It’s the opposite of TikTok, where your content is immediately seen by a ton of people. You must be able to present it in a room and change your timing not to be taken lightly. Someone going from TikTok and expecting to be a natural stand up comedian is equivalent in my mind of someone being a good papa shot basketball player making as many any as you can in thirty seconds to being in the NBA. How many people from TikTok or Instagram reels are even making it as a stand up comedian.

People get Matt Rife confused and blocked in with those people. But my take on Matt Rife as I knew him eleven years ago opening for Ralphie May, he was a little star. I bust all my comedians friends chops when they bring him up and speak negatively about him in the green room. He did the work and he started young. He’s built for it.

Tony, do you feel your move from LA to Austin has hindered any opportunities, Tony said, it has hindered nothing. On the contrary, it’s free to know we’re focused on our stand up comedy and podcasts instead of being focused on LA or New York City cliches like auditions, pitch meetings, voiceover gigs, writing jobs, and other distractions that at best leave you with a boss, a lack of creative control, and probably wanting more money. By having our priorities be our own podcasts and doing live shows regularly, we get better at those two things. Regularly can all relate to one another and do each other’s show. So from both the projects we care about.

Boy, what great advice from Tony there. It might just be I’m at a stage in my own career where I don’t want a boss. I like doing this podcast every day. Is it the biggest podcast in the world. No, to some people think it sucks.

Probably do I care? No? Would I like to make a million dollars off it? Of course? I like money.

You like money. We all like money. I’d love to be doing this show from I don’t know Paris right now, but I’m in my basement. But creatively, boy, I’m having a ball doing this at our little podcast network project. This is great, Tony said.

Our favorite comedian’s from LA and New are coming to us. Now we only go there and we have to do big shows. People can have a career from anywhere now. Tony says, comedians should utilize anything that happens with them from more material. Real comedy fans seed through it.

They want the line, they know the line, they love the line. I push it to the limits. I did p Diddy jokes last weekend. I told Nickelodeon jokes at Baltimore Bridge reference. People say, but what if somebody’s family on the bridge sees that.

Look, it’s a different little island we’ve created. It existed in Texas, obviously a staple of free speech. But while LA and New York have virtual signaled their way into what’s right and wrong, we go forward here. The CBC spoke to Matt Hart and Ali Hassan about kill Tony. Matt explains, if you’ve never checked out killto only two hundred three hundred people put their names in a hat at a huge comedy club called The mother Ship.

That’s Rogan’s place in Austin, which is quickly becoming what Seattle was for grunge, but for comedy. If you get your name pulled, you’ve given one minute uninterrupted on stage performed stand up. Alie said of sixty seconds, it’s very, very challenging. Sometimes if you have a weird look and you can lean inside immediately, that’s a great gift. The CBC pointed out Mike ber Bigley for examples, a storyteller who takes an hour to unfold his act, not the kind of act you’d see big cover, Story and variety.

Amy Schumer can’t escape backlash, and she’s okay with that. Ready rights, Amy Schumer was in the zone. This was in March, when she was filming on the Street Brooklyn for her upcoming movie Kind of Pregnant. In one take, Schumer emerged from a subway station while answering a phone call and was interrupted by a stranger shouting in her from the sidewalk. If you Amy Schumer, you’re a Zionist, you love genocide?

Amy said, it didn’t even raise my heart rate. I didn’t cry nothing. She says of her tendency to sound off, I can’t help it. A lot of people can help it, but I’ve never been able to. But I also want to be helpful, do you know what I mean?

She weighed in on the Middle East, saying the focus is so razor sharp on Jewish people but not on Hammas. It’s very strange. I’d recommend people read a book. It’s called Israel, A Simple Guide to the most misunderstood country on Earth. As for Kind of Pregnant, Amy says, I’m striving it for to be one of the ten funniest movies of my lifetime.

I thought she was going to say her career her lifetime. Wow, I think it’s gonna be as funny as train Wreck. While she was being interviewed, a woman walked up to the table and said to Amy Schumer while the interviewer happened to be there, thank you for everything you’re doing for Israel. I follow you on social media. I used to live in Israel, and thank you.

We support you. Amy said, that moment you just saw maybe ten times a day that happens to me. The article goes on to talk about the early parts of Amy’s career. She noticed that male comedians did not get as much hate as she did. She said, people get really mad at women.

They save a special kind of vitriol for us. It’s not new. I think it’s because they fear women. That’s my guess. She’s hoping Life in Beth will get a third season from Hulu.

She says it has not been renewed yet and that life keeps going. I’m not worried about running out of stuff to say. Tonight, ten pm. Unless you’re driving back from Cleveland, get in front of your TV. You can watch Netflix.

Cat Williams Live. Oh man, I want to say, I can’t wait, but I’m gonna have to wait. I’ll watch that one on Sunday seven point thirty. John Mulaney in concert, All Time Specific eight o’clock Shane Gillis, Low tickets Warning, ten pm Chris Rock’s table reads, low tickets Warning. Joining comedy icon Chris Rock as he hosted table read of When Harry Met Sally.

That’s a Good Time. Seven o’clock Daniel Tosh, three o’clock, Leanne Morgan. I hate the way this thing is laid out, so you hear me jumping back and forth on the various times, A lot of good stuff. Tonight, seven o’clock Comil onn Jianny Pete Holmes at seven, Eliza Selessenger at seven Roywood Junior at seven and nine forty five, Natalie Palamedes at nine forty five, Howie Mandel and Arsenio Hall two show, seven thirty, ten thirty, and a whole bunch of shows I didn’t read to you, all right, if you and I were there, would go see three o’clock Leanne Morgan five o’clock because we wouldn’t be in Cleveland, would be at the Netflix is a tr comedy festival in LA. Would have to hit Cat Williams.

Wait, five o’clock Pacific? Is eight o’clock? Have I been saying ten? At some point they said this is ten? Let me clean this up here.

So the original press release says May fourth, seven pm Pacific, which is ten Eastern, which is why I’ve been saying that. But on the festival website itself it says five o’clock Pacific. Maybe it’s not actually live. I don’t know. Sit in front of Netflix for four hours tonight and see what happens.

I don’t know what to tell you. At this I think I figured it out. I think there are openers and Cat goes on at ten, all right, so we would go see Leeann Morgan, then Cat Williams don’t know if I want to see Mallani. Let’s not do Malani. Let’s do Pete Holmes.

This is really good. Let’s do Pete Holmes.

And then let’s do Natalie Palamedes.

How about that? And let me do Sydney real quick. I’ll do Sidney a little more thorough and next week between the Seinfeld and this Netflix festival to just so much to talk about. But should you find yourself in Sydney on Senko Tomayo. Brody Snook’s show is called Villain.

I like this title here. Let’s see every night Rody Snook dreams of committing murder what Her doctor thinks she needs medication. Her best friend thinks she needs uh I thing that goes you know what I’m saying, Yes you do. Her accountant thinks she needs a real job. Brody reckons it’s time to start playing the villain.

The Age gave it four stars and says a masterful writer and outrageous form. Elliott Stewart’s show is called Elliot Stewart sucks. It’s talking to people a crowd work show will drop the g there I hear the Queen’s come out sometimes no reviews of that one. Okay, let’s do one more. Emma zammitz show is called good Grief.

We all know the grief has five stages. Denial, like, yeah, I’ll be able to watch Kat Williams. I’m not in Cleveland. Anger, Ah, stupid Mike making me go to Cleveland bargaining. Maybe if I leave early, I can be home and catch Kat Williams.

Mike will be too mad. Depression, I can’t believe I miss Kat Williams for this thing. Finally, acceptance. I guess I was good, that I was a good friend. I can always watch Kat Williams on Sunday.

Hey, list of stages. It’s not comedian and mother emma’zem it’s scratching her head as to where Lasagna drops fit in. Sounds like a good show, or maybe I just amuse myself in the middle of that. Rob Schneider has told Catholic media outlet Church Pop, Church Pop your home for comedy news that Rob is working on a script for a feature film about the Shroud of touring. What you think I was gonna say?

Yeah, Schneider told Church Pop. Hopefully this movie about the Shroud will happen, because I think it’s about faith. I think we need that and to bring more people to it. And it’s not necessarily to preach to them, but just to show to them the actual sacrifice and to talk about what the core of Christianity is loving others. And that is your comedy news for today.

If you enjoy the program, you can follow the show for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, wherever you get your shows. If you’re like I hate these commercials, when I’ll open up Apple podcasts, hit subscriptions four ninety nine a month, you’ve got the show commercial free. Once I wake up, explain that show goes live with the commercials three o five Eastern. Show goes live without the commercials when I wake up and publish it. Wish I could automate it.

Talk to the back end company today. They’re working on it. See you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Jennie Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Did you see that the judge find Trump nine thousand dollars? Stephen Colbert said, Now, nine thousand dollars may not seem like a lot to a successful businessman, but what about Trump? Kimmel says, Trump spends nine thousand dollars at the Wendy’s drive through Colbert.

The judge lamented that it was the most he could legally find him, warning if Trump keeps violating the gag order, jail may be a necessary punishment. Colbert said, I don’t know if it’s necessary for Trump, but I need it. Kimmel Malania was like, don’t let the judge tell you what to do, and then Joe Coy chimed in with this one, which doesn’t even make sense. Yeah, fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift. I swear John Mulaney is the guest on My Next Guest needs no introduction with David Letterman.

David Letterman asked John Mulaney, who’s funnier than John Mulaney. Malini said this, I knew who the funniest person was. The funniest two or three people were funnier, is it? Certainly? The mean, do you consider anybody in that group to be as good as you or better than you?

Is there somebody you think? Yeah? Really? Oh yeah, yeah, like who is better than you? I mean, well, first off, you know, when I was a writer, I was writing for Bill Hayter and Fred Armison.

Oh well, no more questions? Yeah, you know, so that was like there was no point where I ever looked at selling. I wrote for them and thought I could do this better. What will be the when you think to yourself, I’ve done enough one and a half hour specials. I’m done now touring?

Will that happen? We moved it, we had direct films. What will you do? There’s lots of other things I want to do, But you say it like it’s a crisis right now, things are going on. Letterman asked Malini if he thought of John Belushi during his recovery.

Melini said, not actively, but after that big intervention and everything blew up. I was in my room and rehab and I talked to Lauren Michael’s on the phone for like an hour one day earlier. In the call, we’re talking and he goes, I knew John Belushi for seven years. I’ve been talking about him for forty eight years. He goes there’s the shrapnel that happens when someone goes down like that.

You know, John didn’t want to die. He didn’t plan to just because it’s a story, just because it’s set in stone like history. People don’t want to die from this. John Malini will host John Malani Presents Everybody’s Live in La first episode two nights, nine to thirty pm Eastern. Additional episodes next week Monday, May sixth through the tenth.

The PR team says there will be more guests as well, but we’re tired of listing them. We’ve given you enough information already. That’s hilarious. Some of the guests announced Weezer, Los Lobos, Saint Vincent, flee Beck, Bill Haytern, Apergatsey, David Letterman, Jerry Seinfeld, John Stewart, Gabe Iglesias, May Martin, Patton oswaldt Sarah Silverman, Anna Gatsby, Stavros Halkias, lu Andel, Ronny Chieng, Tom Sagora and alf Vira also on the show. And I’m not making this up.

Oh j Simpson, Prosecutor Marsha Clark. Hey, you know what’s out today Unfrosted. I know I never talk about Jerry Seinfeld on this podcast. I’ve barely mentioned Jerry Seinfeld this week, and I’ve barely mentioned Unfrosted. He has done a lot of press for this thing.

Jerry talked about what movies they stole from. Yeah, Oppenheimer. I think it’s a fun game if anyone wants to play how many movies we stole from? Obviously The Godfather the right stuff. At one point I was gonna say, I’ll bury you under the ground.

He lie from there will be blood, and we weren’t even gonna explain it. The character’s name wasn’t Eli Jerry. Do you like pop tarts or is it just for the joke? I did love pop tarts. I had one yesterday.

We’re doing a social media piece with Jimmy found and Meghan Trainor. He took a bite and I went, this is fantastic. What I like about is the man made quality of it. I love great objects to fit in your hand in a nice way. A pack of cigarettes is one of the greatest things you could put in your hand.

Just feels great. Dice feel great. I like a nice spoon. I like things the Boston. Harold spoke to Bourbon entrepreneur Jim gaffigin also about the Pop Tarts movie, not about Bourbon.

Jim said, I’d been in communication with Jerry during the lockdown and he had been telling me that he was working on this project. I definitely wanted to be involved, but also being friends, I was not a friend begging to be in the movie. I was hoping you would ask, and I was thrilled when he wrote this part for me. ScreenRant talked to both Jerry and Jim. They got right to it.

Jerry looks like he asked all your friends in Hollywood who said no? And Jerry said, I don’t think anybody says no. There are some people weren’t available who I try. It’s hard to get to people because everybody’s so busy. Anyway, that’s good.

It’s really busy these days, so it’s hard to get people. Jim Gaffigan and said, scheduling is not a foregone conclusion. As we learned this week, Jerry did not ask Pop Tarts for permission. Pop Tarts is leaning in on the joke now. Olly Morton is the general manager of Portable Wholesome Snacks at Kelenova.

Kelenova also makes cheese It and Pringles in case you’re curious, Ally says, Jerry’s probably our biggest fan. There’s a piece here as a brand owner about stepping into that with trust. Our goal is to help fans engage with the film and really importantly enjoy a pop tart in hand while they’re watching the film. People were worried about Conan and O’Brien. Remember he was on hot ones.

At one point he was rubbing hot sauce into his skin. Conan said, I had a bunch of friends who saw my name all over Twitter, and the first assumption is he’s dead. I did if people say, oh my god, I thought finally. Conant said he was left with incredibly runny eyes and a mouth that really hurt. He also experienced burning on his skin.

Conan said, you wash your hands right afterward. But some of the sauce got underneath my wedding ring. I took it off and I was like, ooh, there’s acid underneath it. Conan says he doesn’t usually eat spicy food, but if I think I find something funny, I’ll do it and deal with it later. Angela Kinsey felt certain jokes about her Christian faith in the office were wrong, and spoke up about them.

She was on Rain Wilson’s podcast. She cited one episode in the third season in which the character of Angela was given a line she felt was super judgy against Oscar, a gay character on the show. She talked to You producer and show runner Greg Daniels about it. Angela in real life said, yeah, actually, there were one or two times in which there’d be a joke written for her that I thought was just really stereotypical. Maybe one note.

I’d like to think of her as a full, well rounded person. I do remember I went up to Greg and I was like, I can’t. I was just like, I don’t feel good about it. I don’t feel good about that. I don’t feel it’s what Jesus represented to me.

And he was like, okay, and he heard me, and he took the joke out. The episode was gay witch hunt and it already had so many of that type of joke, and he was like, Okay, let’s do Sydney first today. As we’ve been long this week, I’m gonna save the clips for next week, so I’ll read you some shows that don’t have clips, and unlike Milburn, most of the shows don’t have clips, so make mind chum of a little easier. Laura Coleman’s show is called Soft Animal. The description the poet Mary Oliver said, you should let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

The soft animal of my body wants to go through the McDonald’s drive through on a line bike. Somebody named Tom Cashman said, one of my favorite new comics rohann Arneil show is called Top of the Food Chain, an hour of conversational jokes and stories from a man that’s worked every job known to mankind. The jokes have been run up and down the East Coast of Australia. The only crowd not to enjoy them has been middle aged people from Cronula Local Humor. And that’s okay because Rohan doesn’t like them either.

Somebody named Becky Lucas said, I’m so jealous of how funny Rohan is, but I pushed down that feeling and I wish him well. Go see his show. And that’s the only review. We are deep diving on Sydney today, all right over to Netflix. Seven thirty Bill Burr eight o’clock, John Stewart and Friends.

Ten o’clock, Chris Rock’s Table Reads seven o’clock, Ronnie Chan seven thirty, Ali Wong, Well, John, why are you jumping all over the time, because that’s the way the website’s laid out. Seven o’clock, Tom Poppa, Mark Norman at seven and nine forty five, Catherine Cohen at seven, o Gilligan nine forty five. That’s stelling at seven, Dusty Sleigh at seven, that’s where we’re going. John Marco at seven. We’ll say Slowan nine forty five and a bunch of things I did not read to you.

Okay, we’re doing Dusty Sleigh at seven, and then we need a late show. Kind of don’t have any interest in Chris Rock’s table read. I’m sure it’d be funny, but like sitting there, I don’t know it’ll feel like to me Hollywood insiders making each other laugh. And that’s just I don’t want to do that late show. Mark Norman or Moe Gilligan.

Your choice. Norman is pretty strong. I haven’t seen him in a bit. Let’s do Dusty Slay and Mark Norman. That’s a good night of comedy.

The Guardian spoke to Nish Kumar, who said it would be very cool if I were named the next James Bond. Not sure why that was brought up in the article, but it was a relevant question. Who is your comedy hero? Nisch said, I grew up idolizing a lot of stand ups Chris Rock Marie at Bamford Bridget Christie at university. Instead of doing my degree, there was a three month period where I did an intensive Richard Pryor study.

Through illegal downloading, I got all of his comedy albums and I would listen to each in chronological order, and then build up to live in concert. I would say the intense focus I devoted to Prior’s comedy came really at the expense of my degree. Best heckel There’s no such thing as a good heckle. No hecklers have brought anything useful to a gig. Occasionally, somebody will say something involuntarily and apologize for it, and the thing they say will always be one hundred times funnier than anybody who deliberately and consciously heckels.

It’s one of the greatest myths about comedy that heckling helps us all of current audience behavior. He says things have settled back down recently. I think there was that initial wave of coming back after the pandemic, and people were quite not able to regulate how drunk they were. There’s a period where we all needed to readjust it being back out in public, which makes sense given we went through a collective trauma. You know, sometimes you’d think back to like remember that, like we didn’t leave the house for a year.

That happened. Daniel Van Kirk’s new album, Rose Gold, is out today. Rose Gold is a midwesterns man’s wish that we could all stop finding ways to disagree, start high fiving strangers again, and party in Wisconsin. Daniel laments about the assumptions we make about a shaved head and bearded appearance, dictates when old people should and shouldn’t be treated kindly, and teaches us all how to have a fight while putting some goodness into this world. Oh and I wanted to tell you about this one.

Not really comedy, but it’s got a good laugh at the end. All right, So there’s been this Internet thing where people have been trying to find this song. Have you seen this thing? Back in twenty twenty one, a user named Carl ninety two posted a seventeen second snippet of an eighty style music track at least forty eight thousand people in a I read a dedicated to the hunt for the full song. The song is being referred to as everyone knows that people look for physical and digital archives.

Couldn’t find the song, couldn’t find the artist. Conspiracy theories claimed the song was either AI generated or some sort of viral marketing stunt. Rolling Stone got involved, The Guardian got involved. Nobody could figure out the song. Eventually, the sleuths have figured out the title of the song is Ulterior Motives, and now they have found the song.

Where’s the song from? It’s from nineteen eighty six’s movie Angels of Passion. The description of Angels of Passion Two angels were sent back to Earth to provide some sexual satisfaction to the mortal humans. It’s that kind of movie. That’s where the song is from.

That is your comedy news for today. Follow the show for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. If you want to get rid of those pesky commercials, go on Apple podcast Subscribe to Caloroga Shark Media Plus. You’ll get everything on the network four ninety nine a month. You’ll get it all add free and by AD free asterisk.

When I get up in the morning and upload the AD free version, I can’t preload. It’ve been explaining that all week, but theoretically add free definitely add free after like eight in the morning. All right, So what else do I usually do here? I don’t know. I’m still laughing at the joke.

See you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. A lot going on, especially for two story week, which is Netflix and Seinfeld. But Late Night had a bunch of good jokes about the former president both being cold and falling asleep. Stephen Colbert said, so, either he’s falling asleep again, or he’s doing that little kid thing where he thinks if he can’t see you, no one can see him. Kimmel.

Eric Trump attended his dad’s porn star hush money trial, which in the Trump family is as close as he gets to playing catch in the yard. Colbert, so he paid out hundreds of thousands of dollars so his wife wouldn’t find out he didn’t have an affair. Milania, This is gonna be hard for you to hear, but you’re not the only woman I’m not having sex with. Fallon Trump was so cold he came this close to hugging Eric for warm. Fallon again commented on Trump calling the room an ice box.

Even Biden’s like, it’s called a freezer, you old man. If you want to keep up with all that stuff, listen to the Ballots podcast. We’re having a lot of fun putting that one together. Jerry Seinfeld had the Red carpet for Unfrosted. That’s the pop Tarts movie that’s out on Netflix tomorrow.

Jerry reunited with Michael Richards. You know Michael. He was Kreamer on the sitcom Seinfeld. You may have heard of that sitcom. This was their first appearance together since April twentieth, twenty sixteen.

Michael Richards has kept a pretty low profile after that whole thing at the Laugh Factory in November of two thousand and six. I at one point in the script was going to recap that incident for you, and I’m like, I don’t want to even dance with that devil. Look it up. Look up, Michael Richards, Laugh Factory. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re wondering what Jerry wore.

Well, Jerry wore a black dress shirt and black tie under a gun metal jacket. He also wore gun metal pants and shiny black dress shoes. He also had a black watch. What did Gramer wear? He’s not Kramer, He’s Michael Richards, but picture Creamer.

It’s more fun. Michael Richards wore a white and light gray Paisley dress shirt under a dark gray suit coat, matching pants and black shoes with some lightly hinted glasses.

Also on the Red Carpet, Seinfeldt’s family, wife Jessica, the three kids kids…

Now, Jerry was asked a hack question, what kind of pop tart do you like? Jerry not sugar. Cinnamon’s the only one I eat since the beginning. I don’t like other flavors, and I really don’t like the chocolate. He ones are the ones that are s’mores I hate.

I don’t like when they overdo it.

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Also on the Red Carpet, Jay Leno and his wife Mavis.

You may recall that Mavis was diagnosed with dementia. Jay now has conservatorship. Jay said, thought it’d come to something fun for change. Everything is so controversial. Just come to a fun, silly movie.

It’s great. I think people have a great time. We hang out every day. We have a great time. Forty four years so we’re doing good.

Jay Leno is now seventy four. He, like Jerry, didn’t do anything special because he’s not a big birthday guy. Mavis said, neither of us are. We just have each other.

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Also at the Red Carpet, Melissa McCarthy, Bill Burr and bourbon entrepreneur …

I didn’t get to this yesterday because we were getting long. Here’s a really fun clip. Jerry and the Pop Tart people got together during this clip. I don’t want to spoil it, you know what, Let me just let it roll, mister Seinfield, and I’m Kelmen P. Gasworth, the president of Pop Tarts.

I just read a whole movie about pop Tarts. Did you know? Well, isn’t that something? Do you think maybe that’s why you’re here? It’s me.

It’s my understanding that you neither sought nor received permission to use our product in your movie. Is that? What Tarty is asking is are you familiar with the concept of trademark infringement? That sounds complicated. Actually it’s quite simple.

You see, mister Seinfield, you took something of ours, Now we’re going to take something of yours. Show him Tarty, Swoopy Jackie Chas the Soup Nazi my characters. They’re my characters now, mister Seinfield, tell me, how does it feel when people steal your ideas and then do whatever they want with them, I mean, like friends. Well, I gotta get going. I got a show.

Tonight. No, you don’t. You’re not a comedian anymore. I am. Why is Frankenstein wearing a sport jacket.

It’s not a wine tasting. We’re terrorizing villagers. I mentioned yesterday, Jerry did an interview on In Depth with Graham Benziger. Some people notice Jerry’s hand is trembling during that video. I haven’t seen any follow up on that.

During the conversation, he discussed his marriage and said I was a very successful comedian. As a comedian, you think I don’t need anyone. That’s what a comedian thinks. This is not a good partner. Someone who doesn’t think they need anyone isn’t a good partner.

That’s why most comedians either fail at marriage or don’t even try. It’s really not for us. I wanted to see if I could do something I’m not really cut out for. He enjoys his children, saying you just want to watch them live, and the entertainment value of watching them try to live is the kids are very entertaining because they’re very primitive humans. You may have seen some press this week about Jerry’s about edgy comedy.

Jerry said, we did an episode of Seinfeld where Cramer decides to start a business of having homeless people pull rickshaws because, as he says, they’re outside anyway, You think I could get that episode on the air today, we would write a whole different joke with Kramer and the rickshaw. Today, we wouldn’t do that joke. We’d come up with another joke. I agree that joke would not get on NBC these days now. Rob McIlhenny kind of did a backhanded Instagram post or something suggesting that on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, they do that thing all the time.

That is true, But an NBC sitcom rickshaw joke wouldn’t happen these days. I agree with Jerry. If Larry David was thirty five, he couldn’t get away with watermelon stuff and Palestinian chicken. And HBO knows that’s what people come here for, but they’re not smart enough to figure out, how do we do this now? Do we take the heat or just not be funny?

And what they decided to be as well, we’re not going to do comedies anymore. There were no sitcoms picked up on the fall season on all four networks, not one. No new sitcoms. Vanity Fair talked about one of Jerry’s jokes, a pop tart joke that shows up in the special twenty three Hours to Kill. Jerry said he spent ten years testing the joke or finding it, making sure every beat hit just right before he committed it to film.

Over the years, Jerry would joke about making the pops Arts movie. Another co writer, Andy Robbins, suggested making the money like the right Stuff, except set in the serial world. That idea tickled Jerry, so they all started writing it. The cast Jim Gaffick and Amy Schumer. She’s actually doing press.

We’ll get to Amy, and got more about Amy on Saturday. Melissa McCarthy, Hugh Grant, John Hamm, Sarah Cooper, who you know I’ve been the biggest fan of in the clips, looks pretty good in this. James Morriston, Peter Dinklage, Bill Burr, Dan Levy, Christian Slater, Sebastian Maniscalco, Cedric d Entertainer and Moore. I’m Cherry called out all the favors. But yeah, if Jerry As should have been a movie, you’re gonna go.

Yeah. I bet directors get mad at Jerry. Jerry said directing is nothing when you have an idea as a writer, you know how you want it to be. But most writers are not good at talking to people navigating a layered social situation. But as a comedian, I’m able to do that.

It’s just a way to streamline, just a writer making a movie. It’s all director is for me. Minor minor, minor or spoiler. I’ll give you three seconds here, oh babbel, but I’m not going to ruin the pop Tars movie for you. In the movie, Jerry’s character appears on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson in a scene set in nineteen sixty three.

Jerry said, that was too fun because we made it the New York Tonight Show where Jimmy Fallon is now. We got Kyle Dunagan to do the Carson impression and then we did the CGI face replacement thing. It’s pretty flawless. The hardest part was getting the hair right, the set and his exact duplicate of his old set which we took from old video, and obviously the face is his face. Yeah, it’s really funny to go on The Tonight Show in nineteen sixty three for me.

Obviously, it was a dream come true that is a lot of fun looking forward to seeing that scene. That’s when I was first watching comedians and falling in love with them. Did Jerry write the film with certain actors in mind? The only person we knew was Jim Gaffigan was gonna play Edsel Kellogg, mostly because I thought he looked so perfect. He’s such a food guy, such a funny guy.

Because it was my friend, I knew he’d say yes. So we just knew we had him, but we didn’t know what anybody else. Now this is making me think Tom Poppo, who’s friend with Jerry, he needs to open for Jerry. Tom Papa’s like everyday look is like straight out of nineteen sixty three, Like he looks like he could have been in an episode of The Phil Silver Show. Is Papa not in this because he’s got the look more than Gafficking Another long podcast today, Amy Schumer doing press.

I’m guessing Jerry Beckon. Amy has clarified her stance on the ongoing Israel Hamas war after receiving backlash for her social media posts. Amy said, I don’t agree with anything that Netanya Who’s doing, and neither do the Israelis. I know, of course, what’s going on in Gaza’s sickening, horrifying and unthinkable. And I don’t think it’s okay to hate anyone because they were born Jewish.

It’s gotten to this place where you can’t speak up for other Jews without people feeling like it’s a slight to the conditions in Gaza. On Gossip Corner, John Stewart was at the next game. He did not have fun tyrese. Maxi scored forty six points against the Knicks seventy six Ers one twelve, Nicks one oh six. There was a screenshot of John Stewart’s reaction at the end of regulation time the game went to overtime, Maxie strained at thirty five foot three pointer to side the game at ninety seven with nine seconds on the clock.

Stuart was clearly unhappy, and his reaction showcase did. He went on Twitter and wrote, respect to Maxie, but damn, I’m clearly getting too old for this stuff. So I don’t want to confuse you guys, but I’m confused. I believe cant Williams Live Saturday night, ten pm Eastern. However, as I’ve been going through the Netflix schedule, I see the concert is at five Pacific, which is ACE Eastern.

But as I thought about it more, I guess there are openers and Cat himself will come on at ten o’clock. Maybe that makes sense. I already pre taped Saturday, so if you hear me getting confused on Saturday about that, I think the show’s actually on at ten, but just to be sure, you might want to tune in Netflix a little early. Sunday is the Roast of Tom Brady. We found out a few more people are going to be on the roast.

I’m a little worried about this event. I’m not seeing too many comedian names. Bill Belichick will be on the roast. Okay, that’s a lot of fun. Randy Moss, Julian Edelman, Drew Bledsoe, and Ron Gornkowski all famous comedians if you follow the comedy NFL, Mark Wahlberg, Ben Affleck is probable, and Kevin Hart.

Where are the comedians? Is this thing a bomb? The comedians not want of roast Tom Brady? I’m a little worried here. What’s going on?

More from that Vulture profile of Robbie Prau, who runs the Netflix Festival in Netflix Comedy, they asked, were you surprised how well Matt Rife special did last year. Robbie said, I can’t speak to the specifics of each individual deal in that way, but if you look at the profile Matt Rife, there are very few comedians that are young. He’s coming to this marketplace and is speaking to an audience that most other comedians aren’t speaking to. It’s very cool to watch the next generation of comedians kind of pop up right in front of our eyes. Two other examples Andrew Schultz and Shane Gillis.

We did a special Chane last year. It took a flyer on it and he’s going to sell out the Crypto Arena, the Forum and the Greek follow up question, is the festival designed to spotlight newer acts? Robbie said, We’ve had a steady stream of multi comic specials. I’m in my office right now and I’m looking at the first multi coomic special that we did in twenty seventeen, which is called The stand Ups. There were six comedians, but the first person was Nate Pergatzy.

The same night we were filming a Fortune Fimester special. She was one of the six people on the stand Ups. The next person was Dean Cole. Then we had Nicky Glazer, who’s gonna be on the roast of Tom Brady. Oh look, well we just learned, as well as Beth Stelling, who we just launched a special with about six months ago.

We see somebody film something, we look at it and say, hey, we have a real opportunity for this person to explode on Netflix with us. A few years ago, we did a show called The Comedy Lineup. One of the stars of that show was Michelle Butteu. Another star was Taylor Tomlinson. He was asked about Chappelle, Robbie said, I respect the fact that certainly some folks won’t respond to certain things, But the end of the day, we want to give people options.

Part of that is, some people’s favorite thing to do on a Saturday night might be to watch a Dave Chappelle special. For some people might be Taylor Thompson or May Martin or Sarah Silverman, John Mlaney or Chris Rock And we don’t want to block those choices for our members. We want to give them the option. Our members have the ability of clicking on something, they have ability to shut off something. A lot more to that, I’ll get into that more next week.

Let’s see who’s at Netflix two nights on Thursday, All Time Specific seven thirty, Jerry, Jim, Nate and Sebastian want of Psikes at eight, Ralph Barbosa seven and nine forty five, Dian Cole six thirty and nine thirty, Joe List at seven, Gary Owhen at seven thirty, John Marco Cireesi at seven, Steph Toleve at eight, Master Brownis seven thirty nine forty five, and some other shows. I didn’t read to you, all right, I know what I’m gonna make you do tonight. You’re gonna follow me, and I’m gonna make you go see John Marco Cesi and then we’re gonna go see Moz. That is a good night over at the Sydney Comedy Festival. I won’t do clips today as we’re getting a little long, and I’ll save them for next week when there’s less going on.

Andrew Maxwell’s show is called Live in Sydney. He’s been a very busy boy. He’s grown a beard, made more people on loads of Telly, supported Jim Jefferies in front of around one hundred thousand people on his European tour, and he’s even started a podcast. The Daily Mirror said, if you can only see one stand up backed see Maxwell. That’s how I praise five stars.

Australia’s Funniest Lawyers are at the Comedy Store. Australia’s Funniest Lawyers features a lineup of criminal prosecutors, barristers, government regulators and corporate solicitors who are also funny. Four comedians who will each perform twelve to fifteen minutes of material. Daniel Town’s show is called Let’s Go the way the young Us do that whole Let’s Go thing. The description new show big Comedy Times with one of the best stand ups the Australian scene has birthed.

GQ said, pound for pound one of the best Australian stand ups going around. Oh I forgot to tell you yesterday Jim Gaffigan mocked Governor Christy nom You know the puppy killing governor that one. Jim said, I just hope Christy Nome’s doing okay. Are the people in the country that are like, you know what, she should have shot two dogs. There’s a way to wrap a podcast with a good laugh.

John. If you join the program, tell a friend about it. They might like it too. Follow the show for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. If you’d like this thing without the ads, wait to light get up in the morning, and you’ll get the commercial free version probably before eight am Eastern.

Become a subscriber on Apple Podcasts. I had a phone call with the back end people. We’re trying to figure that out, so we we’ll just automatically be commercial three at three h five am Eastern, but not yet. I don’t want to overpromise to you, but like, if you live in say Central Time, and your name is Becky, you’re not up in the morning, you can wait an hour. It’ll be there when you get up.

That’s a great day.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Yeah, I’m gonna talk Jerry Seinfelt some good stuff with Jerry today, but we’ll do that in like five minutes. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News as expected late night, when all in on Christy Noom killing her puppy. That’s not funny, but the jokes are. Stephen Colbert said in her new book, Noam admitted to killing her dog.

Now, I know that sounds terrible, but it’s a much worse. No twist there. That’s it. That’s the whole joke. But I think it’s really good.

More from Colbert. She thought that telling the story would make her look cool. What’s going on? Does she think kats can vote when you’re trying to win over voters? I’m not sure that being the bad guy in a John Wick movie is the best way to go.

Golbert again, Governor n him. If you don’t like untrainable animals that wolf down chicken, I’ve got bad news for you about your party’s nominee. That’s a great one. So then she shot the goat in the pit. And I don’t want to get into semantics here, but if there’s two dead animals, in there.

It’s no longer a gravel pit. It’s a dead animal pit featuring gravel. Colbert on fire here again. By the way, the actual title of her book where she tells the story is No Going Back, which is better than her first draft, Old Yeller two, he had it coming and all dogs go to gravel pit. Ah, I’m a dog lover.

There’s This story is so sad, but the jokes are good. Jimmy Fallon added, but who among us hasn’t seen a dog running through the fields? Not a care in the world. In thought he deserved to die. Kimmel said, just a recap for those who were horrified that she shot a puppy and a goat, she’d like you to know she also shoots horses.

Not one person on her staff raised their hand and said, uh, Governor, you think maybe it’s not a great idea to share that story about shooting a whole pettings you at your house.

Meanwhile, good comedy coming out of President Trump’s trial.

By the way, check out the Ballot podcast five ten minutes a day making fun of all things politics. Ballot Bault, Jimmy Fallon joked, former President Trump has been complaining during his hush money trial, that the courtroom is too cold, and Stormy Daniels was like, your honor, I’ve heard that excuse before. Seth Meyers said, Trump’s broken nine out of the ten commandments, and he came pretty close to getting Mike Penns killed on January sixth. That would have been ten out of ten. The Netflix Comedy Festival starts today.

In my opinion, and now that there’s not just for last Montreal, this is the biggest one of the year. A twelve day festival, more than five hundred shows spread out across nearly three dozen la venues. Performers include Chris Rox, Sarah Silverman, Cat Williams, John Maliney, Ali Wang, Matt Riiche, Fortune Fiemster, and a bunch of younger stars. This time, three of the shows are live. There’s the Cat Williams concert on Saturday night that has me debating should I blow off this event in Cleveland and stay home in cant Williams I probably should, right, I mean a host a Daily Comedy News podcast and Cat Williams is going to make a lot of news.

I mean I should be home watch that thing. Why would I go to Cleveland? That’d be crazy? Sunday Night the Roast of Tom Brady, and there’s the six night sketch slash variety series called John Mulaney Presents Everybody’s In LA, where John Mulaney is expected to interact with dozens of the biggest names performing at the festival. Robbie Prau, who runs the thing for Netflix, said there’s some trade offs doing the specials live.

He says the presentation might not be as polished, or there could be technical snaff who’s which throw off a performers pacing, And given that most viewing takes place down the road on demand, the argument against live is maybe you hurt the long tail of the project when it’s not edited and polished, but we’re trying to replicate the feeling of sitting in the room. Robbie also says, yeah, that’s a great promotional tool with the whole live aspect, unless you’re in Cleveland and you can’t watch Kat Williams live. The first live event is John Mulaney on May third. Robbie says, it’s called Everybody’s in LA because everyone’s here for the festival, so we thought it made a lot of sense to mlleniy kick off the festival. For people in la you can’t miss that the festival’s happening.

We’re in so many venues and there’s so much publicity for it in LA. As For details, they’re being vague. Robbie says the episodes will be somewhere between forty and sixty minutes something like that. It’s really about exploring La in the week where the funniest people are here. Mulaney has a mastered treasure trove for the biggest comedy stars in the world.

There’s sketches, there’s in studio moments. I’m gonna leave it to Malanie to define a show a little bit more. Some of us in the Facebook group we’re wondering how much of this would actually show up on Netflix. Guys, we’re going to be disappointed. Robbie says, I think we’ve pretty much announced at this point everything that we’re taping.

We’re taping Ali Wang, Dean Cole, we’re tapping another program of up and comers that we’ll be putting on YouTube. But I think it’s pretty similar to last time. I mean, fundamentally, this is about celebrating comedy. That’s our north star here, all right. So for those of us who are hoping we were going to get a ton of comedy specials.

It sounds like we’re not. They asked Robbie about just for laughs. That’s where I know Robbie from. He says, I think just for last we’ll be back. It’s such an important festival and so unbelievably important for emerging comedians.

I don’t really correlate what we’re doing here. This is what happened there. I think events like this are very important. There was just a great festival in Austin, and there’s the Edinburgh Festival, Fringe and some other very important festivals around the world. We just hope that they all stay healthy.

I think we’re kind of blown away that this thing has grown so quickly in a short period of time. They asked him about the reset in payments, and he said, we’ve licensed some things. It’s generally pretty similar to when I started. When we started doing these things ten years ago, it was a moment when stand up comedy was really valued at Netflix, but the marketplace outside of here was really quiet. I was going to twenty twenty four.

I think we’re seeing so many signals from the marketplace that there’s a lot more interested in stand up comedy, and I’m not just talking about the other networks. I’m talking about comedians flourishing on TikTok or YouTube or their own podcasts. There’s an ecosystem for stand up that didn’t exist ten years ago, and it’s a much bigger business now than it’s ever been twenty years ago. When I started, there was maybe one act that could do an arena every two years. It was like a Dice or maybe Blue Collar or King’s of Comedy.

If you look at this festival, I think there are fifteen shows at the level in just twelve days. I agree with them there are a lot of people that can fill big buildings. That was not true. Yeah, all right, I’ll do more of that article tomorrow because I’ve got other things I want to get to today. The La Times profile the twenty five shows.

They definitely plan to check out one of them tonight at the Hollywood Bowl Nate Bergatzye, Sebastian Maniscalco, Jerry Seinfeld and Bourban entrepreneur Jim Gaffigan. That is a pretty strong show where Sebastian’s a bit of an outlier there to me stylistically. They’re also excited to see at the Vermont Hollywood Tonight, Ralph Barbosa La Times Right. It’s few comics are hitting Netflix as hard as Ralph Barbosa, with four shows, including two with the Vermont Hollywood to be taped for an upcoming special. They’re excited about Ali Wang, Steph Tolev at the Comedy Store.

On the second, the minute, Steph Tolev takes center stage at the Comedy Store, possibly in a jumpsuit, and no one will be safe, Bill Byrd at the Hollywood Bowl. And the third we know all about Bill Kat Williams on the fourth, you know that’s live on Netflix. I’m looking forward to. Oh, I have to go to Cleveland. I’m just giving my friend in Cleveland a hard time.

I’m going to be there. Relax. You think I’m gonna blow you off and stay home and watch Cat Williams and record a podcast in the basement. Does that sound like something I would do? Roywood Juniors at the Blasco on the fourth, the roast of Tom Brady.

Still no word on who’s actually on this thing, and it’s getting kind of close here. That’s weird to me. I’m like, are they gonna just show off and have superstars or people avoiding this one for some reason, I don’t know. The l eight Times is excited about Princess at the Hollywood Palladium May fifth, what’s that? And they write, if you like funny and you love Prince, you have to check out Princess.

You can sing and dance along with the comedy stylings of Maya Rudolph. Yeah No, No thanks. A Sindbad tribute show with the YouTube Theater on the sixth Dean Cole Deal, Huglee Byron Alan, Mark Curry and others on that one. Gods of Comedy with David Letterman May sixth to the eighth at the Montlebond Theater. Seth Rogan smokes the Bowl at the Hollywood Bowl.

May seventh, Snooped Little Dicky, Ronny Chieng, Janelle James, Rommi yousef. That’s a good show, Seth Rogan has said, and you can smoke wheed inside. They won’t kick you out. I am a clean liver, but that sounds like a lot of fun. May seventh, the United Theater, Hannah Gatsby and close personal acquaintances, some of whom they’ve never met.

Unclear who’s on that one. See Christina pe at the Masonic Lodge on the eighth, Matt Rife at the Hollywood Bowl on the eighth, Tom Sigore at the Kia Forum on the ninth, Jessnik on the tenth, Krasier on the eleventh. Jack Junior, they’re excited about Jack Asidorian aka Jack Junior comes from a comedy family, growing up watching stand up at his parents comedy club, the Haha North Hollywood. Punchlines are in his blood. He jokes about his upbringing a mix of Mexican and Armenian heritage.

Not familiar with Jack Junior, They’re excited about Nate Jackson at the Palace on May eleventh. Though plenty of comics view crowd work is part of the job, Nate Jackson has made it the springboard of a career. If you like being made into a huge human, s’more, go ahead and make sure you’re somewhere in his line of village. No, what’s line of village? That’s one of those I bespoke, obviously, line of vision.

Could I edit that? I could? Did? I know? Why not?

It’s funnier line of village. I guess I should just do the Who’s playing at Netflix tonight? Thing? While we’re this deep into the weeds, low tickets warning for Seinfeld, Gaff Again, Bergatsy and Sebastian, and then two shows at the Vermont in Hollywood, both called introducing a curated lineup of nine exciting fresh voices. They are Ashama Franklin, Dylan Carlino, Mondal Serini, We’re Sekira, Alec Flynn, c Lorelis Mora, kel creepe Renee Vodka, Ryan good Case.

I am unfamiliar with all of those. Ralph Barbosa is your host. If we were in Hollywood tonight, we would have to go to the Seinfeld, Gaff Again, et cetera show at the Bowl at seven, and then we could try and make the introducing show at ninth thirty to see the up and comers that one says taping, so that should be on Netflix eventually getting along here, Conan, You’re getting bumped to tomorrow’s podcast, and I’m kind of jerried out. Should we take a break from Jerry? There is a thing I wanted to share.

Some people noticed that Jerry’s hand was shaking during an interview with Graham Beninger. Some people online are wondering does Jerry have Parkinson’s disease. One fan wrote on social media. Has Jerry been diagnosed with anything? It seems to be shaking a lot.

Another person said Jerry is showing signs of Parkins’s some tremmors. I have watched a few interviews with Jerry this week. I did not notice anything. Let’s hope Jerry’s doing okay at the Sydney Comedy Fest. Of all, Alex reynolds show is called Scrum No clip, but there’s a picture of him in what appears to be a soccer jersey, perhaps Rugby.

Delivered with a commitment to character that is intense, shocking and laugh out loud funny. You cannot miss Scrum the age as Alex Reynolds is stand out in the world, building characterizations, facial expressions and physical comedy, getting the largest laugh in any sketch. The advertiser said, relatable and likable. Alex Hamilton’s show is called sword Bloke. It’s been two years since he was released from prison after selling psychedelic drugs for over a decade.

He thought if he stopped breaking the law, he’d instantly become a better person. He didn’t s Word Bloke is the follow up to his smash hit debut show jokes about the time I went to prison. One of the rising stars of Australian comedy. He’s a member of the viral YouTube channel Yeah Mad TV. You’ll find him at the Factory Theater trying to move a little faster here today.

I don’t want this podcast to be half an hour. Paullie Shore says he was up all night crying after Richard Simmons publicly disapproved of his biopic Pauli Shore Wants to play Richard Simmons. On April fourth, Richard Simmons went on Twitter and said he did not approve of Pauli Shore’s biopick. Simmons stated that he himself was in talks to create his own film. The next day, Pauli Shure responded to the post with a heartbroken message on Instagram.

He said he requested a meeting with Richard Simmons and told them Richard, You’ll love the movie. He insists he’s the best person to play Richard Simmons. He says, everybody already thinks I’m you. We’re the same, beautiful inside and out. Hell yeah.

Pauly Shure did point out that many other biopics haven’t done without the subject of the film A Green to be part of it. Some of the names he included were Elvis, Presley, Stephen Hawking, Steve Jobs, and Moore. The greats, Presley, Hawking, Steve Jobs. Simmons sure admitted that some of those movies were good while others were bad. He says his will be Amaze Balls and that’s your comedy news for today.

If you would like these episodes commercial free, two things you gotta do. One, you go to Apple Podcasts and you sign up for CALLI Rouga Shark Plus four ninety nine a month. You’ll get this ad free and all the other shows on the network ad free. The other thing you have to do is you have to wait for me to get out of bed, because I’ve been explaining I can’t preschedule the commercial free version because reasons, ask Apple, so I have to get a but in the morning, do it manually. Now, if you were listening yesterday, you had this thing before seven am because my dogs kept waking me up, so it was up and I’m like, all right, I’ll upload the show, all right, see you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Jenny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Jerry Seinfeld making a lot of buzz with this clip from the New Yorker Radio Hour. Let’s listen, nothing really affects comedy. People always need it.

They need it so badly, and they don’t get it. It used to be you would go home at the end of the day. Most people would go, oh, Cheers is on, Oh Mash is on, Oh, Mary Tyler Moore is on. All the Family’s on. You just expected there’ll be some funny stuff we can watch on TV tonight.

Well guess what where is it? This is the result of the extreme left and PC crap and people worrying so much about offending other people. When you write a script and it goes into four or five different hands committees groups. Here’s our thought about this joke. Well, that’s the end of your comedy.

They move the gates, like in the schime Yea culture. The gates are moving. Your job is to be agile and clever enough that wherever they put the gates, I’m gonna make the gate. I agree with Jerry there. The Independent does not agree with Jerry nor me.

Under the headline, Jerry Seinfeld is wrong about the extreme left ruining comedy. Adam White writes, and this is a week opener because it’s so hack I read it for batim. What’s the deal with wokeness? Jerry Seinfeld probably whispers to himself while reclining in his bathtub of money. Over the course of his forty plus years in show business, the billionaire, observational comedian and actor has embodied a number of different guys.

Is the stand up the sitcom star, the maker of b movie, and now he’s embraced another persona the kind of truthfully must be resisted by all the latent life scold. Somebody’s not a fan of Jerry, Apparently. If you feel like you’ve heard Seinfeld say this already, you’re probably just confusing him with one of the other Yester Year comics who’ve mounted impassion condemnations of cancel culture. John Clees, Dave Chappelle, Jimmy co Ricky Tervay’s and French and Saunders have all insisted they can’t say anything more, usually from the stages of their Netflix specials their GP News chat shows. Yes, it’s the super unsuccessful Jerry Seinfeld, Dave Chappelle, Jimmy Carr, and Ricky Tervais.

Nobody likes them. Seinfeld’s claims are particularly annoying, though. If it feels like there’s been a dearth of new comedy on TV lately, it’s probably to do with our modern day viewing habits, which favor comforting nostalgia over new ideas. I’m kind of already sic of Jerry Seinfeld stories. If you are too, It’s going to be a long week.

The pops Hearts movie Unfrosted opens on Friday. It co stars bourbon entrepreneur Jim Gaffigan. Amy Schumer is in this as well. We haven’t seen Amy do any press yet. Let me take one more look, I think I look this morning.

Nothing from Amy yet, Jim, I’ve seen a little. I pushed that to Friday, but it’s gonna be a long week. From that New Yorker interview, Jerry says Chris Rock is the smartest person maybe I’ve ever met. I was with Chris a couple weeks ago. He was talking about a young comic who’s asking the comedian about what he did that day, and the guy said, nothing, but I’m going to do a set tonight and Chris explain to him, you make money during the day, you collected at night.

During the day is where the money is made. Jerry says, Comedians don’t generally think they have to do more than perform on stage every night. They don’t think there’s more to it than that. But there’s quite a bit more to it. If you have a really solid work ethic and have some sense of writing, you can move into different fields more easily.

They asked Jerry what working means for him. He said, if anyone cares, here’s what I did. I’ve been reading a lot of Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations book, which I’m sure you probably read when you were fourteen. And the funny thing about that book is he talks a lot about the fallacy of even thinking of leaving a legacy, thinking your life is important, thinking anything’s important, the ego and fallacy of at the vanity of it. And his book, of course, disproves it all because he wrote this thing for himself and it lived on centuries beyond his life, affecting other people.

So he defeats his own argument in the quality of the book. I’ve adopted the Marcus Aurelius philosophy, which is that everything I’ve done means nothing. I don’t think for a second that’ll ever mean anything to anyone ten days after I’m dead. As for the Pop Tarts movie, how did it come together? Jerry said on Zoom we have a meeting and the four of us, four comedy writers who love each other’s sense of humor.

I do a twenty minute warm up of just anything of nonsense. What’d you do last night? What j eat? What you watch? You can start laughing and having fun.

That’s how comedy is done. You can’t have anybody in the room who doesn’t have the scene Breen disaffection. There’s a lot of really vile profinity complaining about absolutely everything and anything, and then you go, okay, where were we working on that scene yesterday? What was that scene? Where were gonna go from here?

And then you start to write. But you’re in this mood now, and that’s how you write comedy. If somebody else walks in the room, you have to stop and go what do you want? Yeah? I know, dinner’s fine, six fine?

Okay? Jerry? Did you love pop Tarts growing up? Ah? Yeah?

How about now? Still? Yeah? I love them? I needed for breakfast they did after a bad show on Wednesday night?

Do you fall up there, Jerry? When have you ever had a bad show? A lot of times? I mean to me, bad shows. I’m gonna do four new pieces tonight, three of them tank.

It’s a frustrating night. The show’s still good. But I was trying to do You’re always trying to forge ahead. Did Kelloggs know they were going to do this? No?

No, We only called them three weeks ago to tell them. By the way, we found a lawyer in the valley. We asked you, I write us a letter saying this is okay to do that we can show to Netflix follow up, so there’s no fee paid to kellogg or no pervision given or taken. Jerry said, no, you think Kelloggs would make a movie where people lose their lives trying to invent to pastry.

Meanwhile, Jerry was on in Depth with Graham Benzinger and Fox recap this.

Jerry said he wrestles with a darkening mood. Jerry says, sometimes I just don’t feel good, and the best way to get out of it for me is work. Work is the best antidote. That’s why I work so much. Because for some reason, you feel like you’re not wasting time.

I realized this tendency to get depressed. I’d never want to have that if I would lose the creative gift that came with it. It’s part of an overactive brain. I wouldn’t call it real depression. I don’t know the word for it.

The mood darkens. I get a darkening mood, and I want to get out of it more. Marcus Aurelius. Marcus Aurelius says, your only focus should be on getting better what you’re doing. Focus on what you’re doing, get better what you’re doing.

Everything else is a complete waste of time. So I have this movie coming out. I’m so excited to read the worst reviews unfrosted out Friday. I put out another sub stack yesterday, this one titled one star reviews. The Substack is free.

Link in the show notes the nature of the substack platform. They might ask you to pay for it. Don’t pay for it, just click the free subscription. I’m not charging for that at all. Unless you gotten exttion a million dollars.

Then if you want to tip, make fine or just you know, buy me two hundred thousand iced coffees. But if you do that, please send over a refrigerator, because I’ll have to put them somewhere. We’ve got subscriptions up and running. Four ninety nine gets you all the shows on the platform commercial free, as I’ve explained a few times, and I’ll stop doing this soon. I can’t publish the commercial free version until the commercial leaden version is out there on Apple Podcasts.

This show goes out of three h five am Eastern. When I got up in the morning, I flip open the laptop and I upload the commercial free version. On Monday, it was up at seven fifty am. All right, So if you’re up between like three and eight am, I don’t have a solution yet. I wish I did.

I’m trying to figure this out, but I can’t. After like eight am, you should be able to get the newest episode commercial free, and the archives will be commercial free. Russell Brand announced that he was getting baptized this Sunday. I’m taking the plunge. I’m getting baptized.

Like it says in Galatians, you can live as an enlightened and awakened person. Chelsea Handler wants to support the WNBA her plan to boost TV viewership. She’s going to go topless at court side. We’ll see if she actually does this. She was on Twitter where she shared her plan and said how to keep the Caitlin Clark effect going?

You know, Chelsea Handler used to date Joe Coy. That’s it. That’s just my complete thought. I don’t know what you thought was gonna happen there. She used to date Joekoi from the Sydney Comedy Festival.

Ben Hunter’s show is I will refund your ticket in ten years, I promise. I’m going to have to interrupt a few times here, right, So the first joke here, he’s holding up a drawing of coins. He has like impressions. I’ve been working on some impressions. Is okay if I show you some of them.

This is an impression of some coins. This is an impression of my credit card. Okay, another drawing. This is an impression of my nipple. This is an impression of my other nipple.

That time the second nipple is larger and same idea for the rest of the bid. Here. This is an impression of my mom. It’s nice. This is an impression of my dad.

Come to the tip with me. Thanks guys. This is an impression of the other side of the coins from before. I just flipped the mofa kind of fun, pretty visual. Sydney’s not like Melbourne.

There are a lot fewer clips for me to share. I’ve really had a dive on all these Steen rascopolos. His show is called Friendly Stranger. I like the description friendly Stranger. I thought Stein brought the show to Sydney last year.

Yeah, but it was sold out. You couldn’t get a ticket. And so he’s back again with an updated and even better version. A stranger is a new friend you haven’t met yet. It could be a dog on the street, a curist, baby, or a performer who warmly invites you on stage.

So this is another visual clip. Again, this is what’s available, but this is really funny. I’ve shared it in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News podcast group. The gimmick here is he brings people up and has them stand in picture frames, so the people from the audience are the artwork and they have to act out the narration that you’re about to hear. Very funny but as visual.

In the clip, you’re about to hear the narration is about a father and a son, but it’s actually a father and a daughter, and Steen made sure that they’re on the wrong side to make the narration funnier. Hello, and welcome to the Museum of Pretense Art. The first artwork you see is a painting by Australian artist Gareth Tinney entitled Fisherman and his Son. Oh. You see an old fisherman casting his rod with his right hand whilst lovingly swinging his left arm around his son’s neck.

The sun is holding fish and smiling. It’s a very, very exaggerated smile. Some art experts believe if you look at the painting from left to right, oh, it can actually be interpreted as a hostage situation. Wow. Again.

It’s in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News podcast group. Give it a listen and that is your company news for today. If you’d like the show ad free, push that subscription button on Apple Podcast. I explained that earlier. See you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Happy birthday. Jerry Seinfeld is seventy today. We’ll get to that. It was the White House Correspondent’s dinner.

Jerry was not there. Colin Jost was your host. Let’s listen to some of his monologue. His delivery was quite deliberate, so I have edited this for pacing. I didn’t know you were going to show up photos with me from high school.

Yes, yeah, it’s not really fair. You can’t do it for President Biden because the technology wasn’t invented when he was in high school. It’s not really fair. Good evening, everyone. I’m Colin Jost, and I’ll be delivering the Republican response.

I’ll be honest with you. I don’t have a lot of time. I need to get back to New York because i’m jur number five on a big trial. Trump’s lawyer took one look at me and he’s like, he’s gotta be on our side. Thank you Kelly for that very kind introduction.

Mister President, doctor Biden, Vice President Harris Doug Doug. As you can tell from all the comments about my wife, I’m also used to being the second gentleman, and I am honored to be here hosting what is, according to swing state polls, the final White House Correspondence dinner. I hope that tonight will be a night to remember for most of us. I was excited to be up here on stage with President Biden to night, mostly to see if I could figure out where Obama was pulling the strings from. I have to admit it’s not easy following President Biden.

I mean, it’s not always easy following what he’s saying. Like Jost, also mark the age of both candidates. This is a good one. I’m not saying both candidates are old, but you know, Jimmy Carter’s out there thinking I could maybe win this thing. That’s great, Jost again, can we acknowledge how refreshing it is to see a president of the United States an event that doesn’t begin with a bailiff saying all rise, that’s awesome.

Trump ignored the dinner for the most part on social media. After one am, he jumped on truth social and wrote, the White House Correspondence dinner was really bad. Colin Joe’s bombed and Cricket Joe was an absolute disaster. Doesn’t get much worse than this, Oh, it does get much worse. Than this.

Let’s listen to Matt Friend. Matt’s been in the news lately. His Trump is okay, but I can think of at least three people who do a better Trump. They are Shane Gillis, James Adomian, and James Austin Johnson, all much better. I’m gonna let Friend go a little bit here.

Tough for him, to be sure, but the material is not great. I’ll let this roll until he gets to the joke that’s being picked up on the news. I’ve also scoped this down for pacing and just pain. I mean, this set is so rough. Jim Gaffigan is like, can I come in and save this by hawking subourbon?

All right, so third day in a row. I’m gonna tell you you might want to hit thirty seconds skip twice. Matt Friend bombed. Let’s listen. I will tell you it is really a tremendous opportunity to be at the most failed dinner anybody’s ever seen.

Great to see you, losers. A lot of people say that, Hello everybody, why is it so quiet? What’s happening? It’s quieter than sleepy Joe? Hello Joe, how are you great?

To see you? We’re going to debate, right, that’s what they’re saying. There’s a lot of stars here. There’s a lot of great people. There’s Scarlett Johannesburg.

Scarlett is here from Black Widow. I love the blacks, I really love the blacks. It’s true. You have a lot of people that could potentially be a vice president. You have Lara Trump, who’s a lot better than Rona McDonald.

Who does it? Love Rona McDonald? Right, I’m loving it. You like a happy meal, right, you like that, Bob. I will tell you this.

You’re so tight, it’s so uptight. Right, This dinner is sadder than Taylor Swift’s new album, The Tortured President’s Department. Right, you look at him, the white tuxio. It doesn’t like me too much. Right, But I will tell you the Chinese apps are being banned.

It’s horrible. We have to post our David Pecker’s on Snapchat. Now, that’s what they’re saying. Let’s face it, folks, I’m on fire right now, like the guy outside the courthouse. Right, not soon enough, not soon enough.

But I will tell you I am killing this dinner harder than Christy Nome kills the puppies.

Moving on place, the President himself did some stand up.

Here’s Joe the twenty twenty four elections in full, sweet and yes, age is an issue. I’m a grown man running against a six year old. Joe had more. He said, I’ve had a great stretch since the State of the Union, but Donald does that a few rough days lately. You might call it stormy weather.

I see what you did there, Joe. You know who else was there, Joe Koy. Yeah, it was weird. It was all of a sudden, Joe KOI got up there and he told this just horrible, mean joke about Skyrol Swift. It didn’t make any sense at all in the middle of the White House correspondents dinner.

But here’s Joe. We have fewer camera shots at Taylor Swift. Jerry Sidfeld is seventy today. Happy birthday, Jerry. That makes me feel a million years old.

But I’m like a one hundred thousand years old now, so I guess it makes sense. Jerry, when he was on the Today Show recently, was asked about his birthday and he said, I don’t really have any interest in it now. What it is, boy, I could really live a lot less stuff things people activities. I’m not doing nothing anymore. In case you missed it, Jerry’s out promoting pop Tarts movie Unfrosted.

I finally learned the title of it. He’s directing it or he did direct it directing. Yeah, somebody’s got to tell these people what to do. They asked him, do you want to do it? Or should we get someone else to do it?

And he said, I’ll tell them. Big article in Variety titled stand up comedian Tony hingecliff on defending Matt Rife, the Killed Tony Podcast and never apologizing after using a racial slur back in twenty twenty one, Hinchcliffe tells Variety, when you step into a dark, dingy comedy club, what do you want to see? Think about it like a strip club. Do you want to see girls in a dress? Or do you want to see nasty things?

You want ping pong balls flying at your head? Thanks for that image from the Variety profile. Moving to La in two thousand and seven, Hinchcliffe made a name for himself a clubs for insulting both the audience and other comics and being willing to broach any topic. He began opening for comics like Joe Rogan and Jeff Ross. In twenty thirteen, he launched the wonderful podcast Kill Tony.

If you’ve never checked out Kill Tony, I like listening to it. There’s a video version as well. I kind of like listening to it. It’s the theater of the Mind of It. With co host Brian Redman.

The podcast is fame for its bucket of destiny, giving aspiring and season comedians a shot at performing a stand up set for sixty seconds. Receiving feedback from the judges. It is a wonderful podcast. In May twenty twenty one, Hingecliff got into a little kerfluffle right. He says, a racial slur heroled that fellow comedian in Asian American Pang Dang during a gig in Austin catapulted him into a world win of backlash.

The incident, caught on video and put on social media, resulted in Hinchcliffe being dropped by his agency. Tony says number one rule is never apologize. He’s leaned into it even more. In October twenty twenty three, he went on a podcast called Triggernometry and made some light comedic accusations, calling Dang a Chinese spy, further describing the incident as an orchestrated attack by the Chinese media. Dang has responded saying I thought most spuys gathered classified information related to science, technology, or government affairs.

Why would any country said a spy to be a stand up comedian? What kind of intelligence would I get from doing comedy? Asked him about Netflix is a joke. The big festival that starts this week, Tony said, I’m looking forward to being the Netflix outlier. We surprise the industry when we put our tickets on sale for the YouTube theater and they sold out in a couple hours.

Comedians are watching comedians do comedy on Kill Tony, I’m using a pro wrestling model. Anything can happen, and it’s ridiculously exciting. You could watch someone’s entire life change in front of your eyes. Everybody that we pull out of that bucket has a chance. Yeah.

It is a fantastic podcast. Even me reading this to you today is encouraging me to catch up on it. I’m so so way behind them on podcast so a lot of times I’ll listen to pods as I’m drifting off to sleep, and I noticed it this week. I’m listening to things like three minutes at a time. I’ve been enjoying Joe Rogan talking to the guy that’s trying to convince us that the moon landing wasn’t real.

As I’ve explained before, I like listening to Rogan as I drift off because if there’s no yelling, there’s no shouting, it’s calm and concurrently to that, I can believe in the moon landing. Variety reports that Bow and Yang will start in a remake of The Wedding banquety nineteen ninety three rom com Ellen Degenerous has complained that she’s been kicked out of show business for being mean. This part of her comedy tour. Ellen is a pretty good stand up for at least was thirty years ago, so she’s back. Ellen said, I became this one dimensional character who gave stuff away and danced up steps.

Do you know how hard it is to dance up steps? What a mean person dance up steps? Had I ended my show by saying, go f yourself, people would have been presently surprised. She reminds people she’s been kicked out of entertainment before, when she came out as gay in the nineties and joked, eventually it kicked me out for a third time because I mean old and gay. Ellen says, I hated the way that the show ended.

I love that show so much, and I just hated that the last time people would see me is in that way. Ellen’s last stand Dot Dot Dot Up Tour will eventually be a Netflix special. That’s cool, She’ll tape that in the fall. Netflix is building excitement for Beverly Hills Cop four, which is what we’re all gonna call it, even if they call it Beverly Hills Cop Colon axel F. There’s a new promo.

It features NFL quarterback Jared Golf sharing insights he gained from the character axel Fully. That sounds so lame. Actually, I tried to pull the clip. It actually was so lame. You would kind of hope Jim Gaffigan would show up and start hawking bourbon.

In Beverly Hills Cop four aka Beverly Hills Cop Colon axel F, Eddie Murphy is axel Fully, who returns to California after a long hiatus when his daughter fases a threat. Fully is pulled back into the world of crime solving. Returning to Beverly Hills to investigate the mysterious death of a close friend. The Sydney Comedy Festival A little light early in the week. Tonight It’s the Sydney Comedy Festival Showcase, a secret lineup promising to bring the very finest comics from Australia and beyond, boasting both household names and the next gen of comedy superstars.

Let me tell you about Taylor Swift. No, no, not her, Taylor Jswift. This from people. This Taylor Swift first learned of the singer when he was fifteen. He said, at first, I thought it was no big deal.

She’s a singer with a hit song or two. This won’t impact me. But I was wrong. As time continued, I started to find it frustrating. I was just a kid trying to live my life and now is sharing a name with a big singer.

Additionally, I just moved back to Ohio with my dad, so as the new kid at school with the name Taylor Swift. To top it off, I had ad Justin Bieber haircut, eyed glasses, and I was on the debate team. It was not a fun time. He contemplated going by TJ in abbreviation of his first middle name. But this Taylor Swift eventually realized I was given this name for a reason, and I’m gonna grow and become whom I meant to become with it.

Now, what’s weird is Joe Coy made a joke about Taylor J. Swift’s I don’t know why he did this. It’s so random that Joe Coy would make fun of some dude in Ohio. And it’s a little bit mean. Let’s listen, big difference between the Golden Gloves and the NFL.

On the Golden Gloves, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift. Some of you are laughing right now, and some of you wanna throw pies in my direction. It’s fun. Come on, it’s a fun joke, Taylor J. Swift says.

When I do interviews with the press, I asked them to please quote me as Taylor J. Swift, so no one confuses me with the pop singer. Don’t worry about it. We can tell the difference that way. No one wonders why Taylor Swift is speaking on congressional modernization and oversight.

I also include the JA on my business cards or when applying to jobs to avoid confusion. Again here at Starbucks, we didn’t think Taylor Swift was applying to be a barista jay. For example, this past weekend, I booked a reservation for two under the name Taylor Swift. I could tel a. Hosts seemed a bit disappointed when I showed up like normal.

They joked about how it was in the real tailor Swift. So I just laughed and said, I hear it all the time, but I just shake it off. Taylor J. Swift is actually funnier than Jim gaffickan hawking bourbon. We don’t do that here at Father Time.

And that is your comedy news for today. Check out the Ballot podcast. A lot going on White House Correspondence Dinner. There’s this whole trial thing, so check that out. We’re putting that out every day.

And if you want the episodes add free click the subscriptions option. There has it been explaining The regular show goes live at three h five am Eastern and then you get the ad free version available in the feed. When I get up and load it, I can’t load it in advance. It’s annoying. It’s made of my existence.

And then everything heading backwards will be commercial free and the other show’s on the network commercial free. Like, if you want mid ballot commercial free, do the subscription thing five dollars a month. It’s like buying me a coffee, except you had all these and free podcasts. Isn’t that amazing? Yes it is.

See tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Shinny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. We went to Medieval Times last night and we just had so much fun. You got to get your medieval on. Hang out with the Knights.

We were on team Yellow and Red Knight. He got his butt kicked and at one point I went over to my daughter because everybody was doing these accents, and I said, have you heard of the famous actor Matthew Berry, because everybody’s doing that, like welcome the Queen. Welcome you to Daily Comedy News. Anyway, Ricky Gervais has taken over a prominent billboard in Slow that is the setting of his version of the Office. I saw somebody online complaining that they’re rebooting the Office.

I hate to tell you anyway, Ricky Gervais has a billboard. He’s promoting his brand, a Dutch born Orchard vodka. His advertisement encourages consumers to buy dutchborn an Orchard vodka to make a person rich and happy with the caveat being the person is Ricky Gervais. That’s how you do it.

Meanwhile, get your thumb out, be ready to hit thirty seconds skip again.

I played you that. Jim Gaffigan clip yesterday, Jim intervention coming man, the coolness is just oozing out of you. Let’s go back to the Today Show and again, I’m a journalist. I’m a journalist. I don’t want to lose you, guys.

I don’t want you to be like I can’t listen to this podcast with these terrible clips. But as a journalist, I’m not a journalists. I have to play this clip for you. So please hit thirty second skip at least twice, because I don’t want to submit you to all the coolness oozing out of Jim Gaffigan as he sells his bourbon on the Today Show. This is just awful.

You’re ready? Skip skip? Are you still here? Okay? This is on you.

I try to warn you. Here’s Jim Gaffigan. So what makes what makes it well? The thing is is we’re talking about this. I was approached, you know, to do a celebrity spirits a couple times, but I was worried because I didn’t want to do something bad.

So I called a good friend of mine, a college friend who’s from Louisville, and I said, could I just buy a couple of barrels? You could help me and we’ll we’ll mix our own and it’ll be good. But there’s not going to be a big payday. There’s only a limited amount. But I love this, Jim.

I’m here for this new chapter in your life. While you pour that out at hand them, we’re going to tell people that Unfrosted is going to be released on Netflix next Friday. I cannot wait to try this. This is great. This has helped with this?

Does this? Does this helps you forget that you have children? I have three, So thank you Father’s Day guys. Sure, here we go. And these are these are quote glasses parenting quote class that you know what you know what it’s like having a fifth kid.

Imagine you’re drowning, then someone hands you a baby? You so very nice? What you think? What do you think? I like this a lot, coming surprise.

I was terrified when I tried it. I was like, oh my god, what if it’s not good? Well, this is good. This is very good. And I don’t even really like bourbon.

This is great. Shop Today’s coming up next, Jim Man. I mean the way that comes to mind ribes with sneezes, like what are you doing? I heard from Caitlin who sent me a note through the new substack. I’m doing a substack.

It’s for free. The link is in the show notes I write about media. Last week I was very chatty and wrote a lot. I’ve got a good piece on Monday about one star reviews coming up. So if you want to subscribe to the substack, it’s free.

Even if it tries to heat up for money, do the free trial. Not charging for that one. Caitlin was wondering what happened to George Lopez tacos. Now. Every now and then, when it’s a slow newsday, and today is not a slow newsday, I just feel like talking about George Lopez tacos.

I will throw that phrase into Google just to see what’s happening. And there’s been a whole lot of nothing. I’ll do it right now now. There’s nothing since June of twenty twenty one when we were told George Lopez Tacos arrive in Denver.

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And also from June of twenty one, George Lopez’s taco joint was now serving e…

I haven’t seen anything since, but if I go to next Bite here, it does offer me George Lopez tacos. I’m clicking on it live as we click. Got in preset this because I wanted to experience it with you. George Lopez Tacos an authentic, bad ass street taco experience exclamation point, softer tea is tender meats, flavorable toppings and sausas. Now, if you’re not familiar with this bit, during the pandemic, things got a little slow with the comedy, and George Lopez Tacos was the Taylor Swift Joe Koy joke of its day.

The menu for George Lopez Tacos lachingono, which is three street tacos served with a massa corn to tea is on the side. For customizable experience, you could get a La mas cabrono, which is three street tacos with the addition of krama and saute bell peppers and onions, also served with authentic masa corn tootias. You get the idea here, All right, let’s click. Let’s see if we can still order visit the restaurant website. Click Lopez Tacos is loading and a site has come up, and the site seems to be in some sort of Asian language tie Vietnamese.

What is going on? George Lopez let me try this again. We try it in Chrome, maybe I’ll get a different experience. I don’t know what’s going on there. Paste and go to Lopez Tacos dot com.

No, it’s still coming up in a weird language, but Google Translate will trans Oh, it’s tie all right. For some reason, this website’s in Thie and I can translate it to English according to Google Translate. And the article says the form of protection that should be available car insurance interesting driving on today’s roads. No matter how caution or precaution, the driver has to prevent accidents or unexpected events. Even though it is a good thing, there is still a chance that it may cause an accident or unexpected event.

Dreams can occur as usual because they may come from Fred’s on the road or events that you cannot control. Therefore, today, in order to add protection for living on the road for all insured persons, you can come to get to know and choose to buy insurance with mister Kumka. And that is what happens if you go to Lopez Tacos and dude, there’s still a logo that says Lopez Tacos across the top home about food beverage, insurance, lifestyle. This is why I’ll preread articles. What happens if you click on food.

Okay, I’m on the food page now. In the top article is a versatile microwave that you could have at home. Microwave is one of the kitchen appliances that every house can’t live without because it is an aid to facilitate your food and drink quickly and easily, whether it’s recipes, various menus, boiling hot water, tea or coffee, boiled eggs, warm food, instant food, instant food, instant noodles, cooking, et cetera. No, I didn’t make a mistake there. It’s at instant food twice.

Today, let’s take a deep look at the benefits of mirowave. In case any house is as sited to buy it, will take it. Who helped decide capital t the benefits of the microwave make oranges or lemons have more water. If bringing lemons or oranges to warm in the microwave, leave for ten to twenty seconds before squeezing them, we’ll make more orange juice than lemon juice because warming or lemon will make the interlining soft. So Caitlin, that’s what’s happening with George Lopez Tacos.

Caitlin also has encouraged me to stick to my guns about the very, very hilarious Joe Koy joke. Now, I don’t know if you’re familiar with this. Joe Cooy earlier this year hosted the Golden Globes. Yeah he did, and you know what happened to the Golden Globes. He made a joke about Taylor Swift.

It was so mean. I mean, there might be some new audience that didn’t listen this week and they need to know what this joke was. But Joe Coy made this horrible, mean joke about Taylor Swift. Let’s listen. The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL.

On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camber shots of Taylor Swift. My so far, this podcast has been so much about nothing. Jerry Seinfeld would appreciate it.

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Speaking of Taylor Swift, Travis Kelsey chose the wrong day to go without und…

This from People. Andrew Santino was a guest on New Heights and recalled on the events. Santino says, we set up my podcast at the crib because we were moving and so it was a kind of a tight squeeze and the cameras and the angles all the stuff. And my editor calls me and he’s like, bro, I know I tell you this, but Travis was falling out of his shorts. His boys were sliding out.

Santino says, I was like, oh no, and he goes, do you want to like call him and reshoot it? And I said, just put a chief’s logo over his package whenever it falls out. I mean, Travis is his boys wanted to make an appearance on Whiskey Ginger, Santino joked, and the footage is available on our Patreon. Bill Burr spoke to The Today’s Show about how his TV viewing habits have changed since having kids. Burst said, I used to watch, you know, one o’clock game, four o’clock game, then a late game, and then with the package, I’d be taping other games.

And you already had a Monday night and he had a Thursday night. So I’d have a Tuesday and a Wednesday game and a Friday game to watch during the week I’d recorded, and then on Saturday, I’d watch college football. Now I have kids, I don’t know. I’m always watching Bluey. I’m hearing great things about this blue I’ve not watched it yet, which is oddly, you know, really deep, that’s what I’m hearing.

What are we doing here? I’m getting misty eyed watching a cartoon telling you we had a lot of fun at Medieval Times. Everybody with Matthew Berry impressions. If you enjoy this program, you might want to go to buy me a Coffee dot com. That’s terrible, but that’s what Medieval Times was.

The queen is so bad, you might want to buy me a coffee at buy Me a Coffee dot com Slash Daily Comedy News. Sydney Comedy Festival on Monday. There’s only two shows and I looked I couldn’t find any actual clips. One of the two shows, Jillian Cosgriff’s show, is called Actually Good Jillian one most Outstanding show at the twenty twenty three Melbourne International Comedy Festival. The show is about the little things that make the big hord things manageable and pointing out the bits of the world that make you yell wow, isn’t this great?

Now? Do you have a dirty mind like I do? I’m not gonna go back, you hit thirty second, rewind and you’ll see if you pick it up. Otherwise, I’m just a perf. The Scotsman gave it five stars, saying actually good is more than a comedy show.

It’s a tiny revolution in how to view the world. Chortal five stars, a joyous, funny, life affirming show. The Age only four and a half stars, but they did call it an incredibly affirming and funny show. Leanne Morgan with a really great deal. Netflix gave her a sixteen episode straight to series order.

The guy behind us is Chuck Lorie. If you don’t know who that is, He’s behind all the big CBS sitcoms like Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men and whatever the Sebastian Manascalco Bookie show was called. I think it’s called Bookie. That one was pretty good too. In untitled comedy, Leanne Morgan’s life takes an unexpected turn when her husband of thirty three years leaves her for another woman.

Starting over when you’re a grandmother and in menopause isn’t exactly what she had in mind. With the help of her family, she will navigate the new chapter with grace, a dignity, and jello salad. Sean Jordan will release a comedy album called Girl Dad on Sunday, May twelfth. I believe that’s Mother’s Day. Sean recorded it at Mississippi Studio, is in importantly Oregon.

It’s a very personal set surrounding the birth of his daughter, including the IVF that preceded it, the vissectomy that followed, and all points in between. The press release also says ask him for parenting tips anytime. All right, little housekeeping here. We’re doing the subscriptions now. Saturday morning.

The dog end me up early, so I was able to post the commercial free episode by like six thirty am Eastern. Anyway, if you’re on Apple Podcast, you’ll see subscriptions there a thirty day free trial, and then four ninety nine a month you’ll get the show’s commercial free asterisk. I’ll talk about that in a second. And you get all the shows on the network. We’re posting all of them.

The catch and the asterisk is there’s no way to preload it, which is really frustrating. So I post this show at three or five am Eastern, and then when I get up, I’ll upload the commercial free version of Daily Comedy News, like I said Saturday was around six thirty in the morning. Friday slept little later. It didn’t get to around eight. If you’re on the West coast, it probably won’t affect you at all.

If you’re on the East Coast and you’re like, man, I gotta have Daily Comedy News before eight am, well then I wish Apple would changed the back end, but it’s not how it works. Anyway. Try that out thirty Day Free tro if you want to test drive that also Ballot. That’s the show where politics meets pop culture. So much to talk about White House Correspondence Dinner.

I’ll talk about that tomorrow, but Ballot will have it on Sunday morning for you. This whole thing with the governor and the puppy, I don’t even want to go there. That’s not funny at all. But if you heard that that’s going on. Biden was on Howard Stern weird pick.

I mean thirty years ago, sure, but in the twenties Howard Stern really o hey anyway, see tomorrow

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Hunni Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Kanye West apparently re entering the world of film. This from Jimmy Kimmel, specifically the world of pornographic film. Jimmy says, that’s the kind of business genius he is.

You know what, the Internet could use some porn. Ronny Chieng and I are aligned. He was talking about the Biden administration’s new rules, which require cash refunds for air travelers subjected to everything from canceled flights to non working WiFi. Ronnie said, this is the greatest thing the government has ever done in history. Thank you, Joe Biden.

Thank you for making my life better. Now, just bring back Roe v Wades. I don’t have to sit next to a crying baby on the Red Eye. Just did that two weeks ago, so that touched a nerve there with me. There was another kerf fluffle on after midnight.

The guest Gillian Jacobs. You know her from community. She greeted the crowd, explaining how to pronounce her name. She said, yes, I’m Gillian Jacobs. That’s hard g soft j.

But the vibe is just right. Okay, I’ll read that to you again in a second after I tell you to set up here. So, something weird happened with the close captions. I saw the clip, so Gillian says, yes, I’m Gillian Jacobs, that’s hard G soft J. But the vibe is just right.

But the caption’s added the phrase, I’ll have to read it again just so I could do it in context. The caption version said, yes, I’m Gillian Jacobs, that’s hard G soft J. But the vibe is just right. I’m masturbating. What okay?

Colin Joe So the White House correspondent Dinner tonight, eight o’clock c SPAN. He’s saying, oh, on Saturday night, to watch this thing. I will recap it for you on Monday. I did see a list of who is invited on the different press pools. Some interesting notes.

ABC News correspondent Rosario Dawson. CBS has invited Sidiqua, Martin Green, and Wilson Cruz. They’re from that horrible Star Trek Discovery. John Hamm and his wife are going for CBS News. How does this work?

CNN Rachel Brosnahan Deadline invited Kerry Russell. NBC invited Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, Colin Joe says your host. Tonight, he did an interview with NBC and talked about when he does the joke swaps with Michael Jay. Joe said, it’s kind of crazy. There’s not a lot of live TV in the world anymore.

So the idea that you’re on live TV and you have to say something that you don’t know what it is, that’s pretty crazy and it’s usually not gentle. I’m someone who can really be in my head a lot of times, and it definitely gets you out of your head. I really like that. Joe just also wanted to clear up that he’s not planning on leaving Saturday Night Live. He said, I don’t have a real timeline.

I mean I started a potentially psychologically brace for the concept of leaving, which I really hadn’t done. I don’t know. Certainly, quarantine makes you appreciate having any job, and I very much appreciate having friends you get to work with and enjoy seeing. He says he’s in no rush to leave. Colin, Your fairy is a disaster.

You got a steady gig, go talk to Keenan sit at that desk for another twenty years. Steady work is a good thing. Jerry Seinfeld turns seventy on Monday, so that makes me think they’ll problem probably be like a big time celebrity birthday party, right, and it’s going to be Jerry in his pals so to be Jim gaff again. Amy Schumer is going to be at that thing, right. Yeah.

A lot of Jerry press coming up the next week. That Poptearts movie is out on Friday. I’ve already got stories squirreled away. So if you like Jerry Seinfeld, you’re gonna like this podcast. G Q said, Jerry, you’ve talked about how stand up is about power, standing on stage alone, demanding the people listen and have a physical reaction.

How did the power of being a director compare? See a little trick there. I didn’t think we were going there with that question, Jerry said. Being a director feels like running a ranch in the West. It’s kind of a mess.

You’ve got horses and cattle and chickens and broken fences and filth. You’ve got a lot of people and a lot of physical things. Stand up is a pure experience. That’s why I’m so addicted to it. The only other thing in life that I truly idolize is surfing.

I watch a lot of Instagram surfing videos, and when somebody catches a great wave and they’re just sliding down, it just hypnotizes me. That’s how it feels when you’re having a good set, like you’ve caught this gigantic energy and are just sliding down it. There’s nothing pure in making a movie flow. It’s highly complex and messy. We’re all wondering, does Jerry Seinfeld surf?

No? I tried. I did it for about a week twenty years ago. You have to dedicate yourself to these great things. I don’t believe in being good at a lot of things, or even more than one, but I love to watch it.

I think if I get a chance to be a human again, I would do just that. You wake up in the morning and you paddle out, you make whatever little money in each five That seems like the greatest life to me. They asked Jerry about the Midwestern vibe in the upcoming pop Tarts movie What’s an Unfrosted? I can’t remember that. I just keep calling it pop Tarts.

They asked him, what was the Midwest like to you? Jerry said, hilarious, John Updike had of the greatest line, new Yorkers think anyone who doesn’t live in New York is in some sense kidding. That was me. It felt like, let me go to this place and show them what we’re like, and they’ll pay to see that. And I still feel like that’s what I do.

Let me show you what a New York is like. I think you’ll find it interesting. Good follow up here about Seinfeld, GQ said, that’s what I think of as the Seinfeld paradox. It’s so specifically New York and so specifically Jewish, and yet there’s a station where I live in New Orleans that, as far as I could tell, only play. Seinfeld twenty four to seven said, let me solve the mystery for you.

It’s Jason Alexander, Julia, Louis Dreyfus, and Michael Richards. Those three people transform this very small, idiosyncratic thing which should have always been small a niche. They made this unrelatable material accessible. There’s no other way it would have happened. Follow up.

Didn’t you feel like you were part of it? Jerry said, I was part of it, but I wasn’t on their level. I did what I could to help. All Right, So I want to cover this, but I also don’t want to lose the audience. Jim Gaffigan on The Today Show, Hawking is Bourbon.

I’ve spoken about this quite loudly. We have to do an intervention for Jim Gaffigan. So as a journalist, I’m not a journalist. As a journalist, I need to cover this, but I don’t want to lose the audience. So here’s what I want you to do.

I want you to take out your phone and hit thirty seconds skip twice so you don’t have to sit through this clip. Okay, you’ve been warned. Don’t delete the podcast and be like this podcast sucks. I’m telling you. I know that the next minute sucks, but I have to as a journalist.

I’m not a journalist. I have to play this clip for you so you can experience. Jim Gaffigan on The Today Show. All Right, last warning skip skip all right, this is on you. You’re still here if you’re hearing my voice or now you didn’t hit thirty seconds skip.

I tried to warn you. Father time Bourbon. Father time. Well, you know, since it is bring your child to work, I thought that I would bring in my baby. I don’t know if they have.

If we have it out here, we go, yes, this is, this is it’s it’s I think it’s a beautiful bottle. And it’s called father Time. And so oh, I said father time. It’s father time. It’s father time.

So it’s not the guy with the beard. It’s about this time that a father, like the tagline a father, it’s called a father’s joy is earned because being a father is thankless. And by the way, I do believe that the mom is the heroine. Anyway, I’m going to sign this because each bottle is signed, and I’m going to charge you guys for this bottle. Anyway, Oh my good, this chim I just feel the coolness just oozing out of you.

Every time you listen, you talk about the bourbon. That’s only half the clip. I will play another minute of that clip tomorrow. David Spain and Dana Carvey have some thoughts about the upcoming Chris Farley biopic. Spade said, I’m a little ambivalent about it.

I don’t know. I heard some whispers about this for a long time. I’ve run into this guy Paul Apparently that’s actor Paul Walter Hauser, who’s going to star as Chris Farley. He’s a nice guy. I think he’s wanted me to do this for a while.

Carvey said, in all seriousness, I wish How’s are the best. But he says it’s hard to portray someone like Farley. It’s one off and charisma. It’s very hard to get used to it in a film. Even the last Elvis movie Austin Butler did incredible, but you never reach Elvis.

It’s impossible what it was the best. I’ve seen the same thing with Will Smith when he played Muhammad Ali. He was absolutely fantastic, But the whole time you’re going, but you can’t do Muhammad Ali. Spade said, I wish him well. Like you said, it’s hard to capture the highs and lows and the greatness and just the pure likability and the innocence and everything that was great about Chris Farley.

Carvey says, Chris had so many sub rhythms. There’s a meal to be had there. Matt Friend, you might know his impressions of Donald Trump, which is okay, Howard Stern which is really good, and I have not heard his Mitch McConnell. He’s getting a podcast on Bill Maher’s network. It’s called Friend in High Places.

Friend aims to be the intersection of mar Graham Norton, Jimmy Fallon, and Sean Evans of Hot Ones. He tells Variety, there will be politics, but it’s gonna be lighter. There’ll be a variety showcase element to it, where I might do a topical sketch or comment on something in the news. I misspoke, it didn’t edit. I said tropical sketch.

I don’t know what a tropical sketch is, but I’d watch it. But at the same time, I’m going to be having longer conversations with actors and athletes and politicians. Blah blah blah. Let’s see what’s happening in Sydney. Lara recoats A show is called Little Tiny Wet Show Baptism, a surreal, partially interactive, dark like Silly Dark, not Edgeloord, dark and moving comedy show about what it’s like to live, what it means to care for somebody for you always leave them.

Comedian Ashley Freeze has released an album co written with Ai. The album is called Monkey. Paul Cowboy actually said, once I started playing with the tool and seeing what it could do. I think the album was inevitable. Ashley wrote the lyrics to all the songs, which are in the style of country music.

He says, I’ve never particularly been into country music, but it’s clear that this is a good genre for comedy songs. Let’s listen. The following tracks are written by and all persons depicted are entirely fictional. And while the lyrics tried a mimics songs and singers quite ut comic. The whole thing’s just a party trick out electronic and Jack Whitehall is continuing to go at it with Prince William.

I told you I think yesterday Prince William did a knock knock joke and said it was like Jack Whitehall material. Whitehall released an Instagram video of Prince William telling the joke. I’m going to share the audio. Whitehall doesn’t speak during the a video, but he is making faces at the camera and at the end he takes notes. But here is Prince William.

I am here with the character talking about mailing my health and I’ve been asked to produce a dad joke, so I’m kind of trying to channel Jack Whitehall as the best of it. Jokes are pretty Badlike, that’s fine. I think what I’ll do is, I’m going to say a joke that has Shotlet’s favorite joke at the moment that she keeps telling me. I’ll do that instead, but you’re going to have to interact me. It’s not a joke I can tell straight away, not a lot interrupting caroten.

No, that’s that’s the Great’s what I can pick up the screen and broadcast as all Nature Comedy News for today. If you enjoy our content and want to access our commercial free archives, become a subscriber. An Apple podcast is four ninety nine the US dollars per month. You can start with a free thirty day trial. I see a bunch of people doing that already.

Again, I don’t want to over promise expl this. Yesterday. The Normal Show goes live at three five a m. Eastern. The ad free version of the newest episode.

I have to post manually when I get up in the morning. I can’t preload. It drives me nuts, believe me. Sal On Friday, I slept in a little and I went out coffee. It didn’t get up to like eight oh five, but all the archives will be there and all the other shows on the network.

We’re working on it, so that’s four ninety nine. If you want to test drive it thirty day free trial, give it a shot. Or if you prefer to sport podcast using the value for value model, you can stream SATs my Way using the Fountain app or podcast Gurgu or True Fans, or just keep following the show for free like you’ve been doing on Apple, Podcast, Spotify, wherever you get your shows. See you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Johnnie Mack with your Daily Comedy News. I have like a normal head cold, like an old fashioned prehistoric head coold. It’s not COVID. It’s just the sniffles.

It’s weird. I haven’t had one in the twenty twenties. Uh. Hi. The Green Bay Press Cazette, your home for comedy news.

They have a question for you. Have you heard the one about the legendary comedian who walks in a local comic book store on a Saturday afternoon. Turns out it’s Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry was out and about before show last weekend. David Powers owns Powers Comics.

He said, was totally out of the blue. I actually liked that it was out of the blue. He just showed up like a normal customer does, just walk in. But David was doing well, and then he tried too hard, and he said, I was a little disappointed he didn’t have his puffy shirt on. David, you tried too hard there to be funny and you missed.

One of the employees at the comic shop is also named Jerry. Owner David Powers went over to help, but Mountain said, Jerry, meet Jerry Powers says, that’s my favorite part of the entire visit because he did as Seinfeld as him. Seinfeld said, well, I’m a comic looking for a comic. Jerry apparently said that with that smirk that he has. It was beautiful.

Jerry was looking for a Superman comic book from the nineteen sixties. Powers knew right away which one Jerry meant, but Powers didn’t have it. Jerry Seinfeld spent about twenty minutes browsing. It was clear that it was not his first time in a comic book store because he knew to flip through the back issues of some of the older stuff. Powers said, the really neat part about me is that Jerry Seinfeld is worth like a billion dollars.

He could easily order any comic book he wants, even the most expensive one in the world, without a problem. He could have ordered that on eBay. A lot of the true collectors don’t want to go do that. They want to dig. Missus Powers tried to convince mister Powers to get a photo with Jerry, but he said, I’m not going to do that.

I’m not going to be that guy. I’m just gonna go let him shop and be a normal person. But missus Powers asked on his behalf, telling Jerry Seinfelder her husband is the biggest Seinfeld fan she knows. I’m sure Jerry’s never heard that before. And how when a couple first met, he and his roommate watched the show every night over and over and over.

Jerry said, sure, why not? I bet Jerry that’s how he is. Jerry’s exactly who you think he is. By the way, none of that’s an act. Nothing impresses him.

His reaction everything is just like huh. Then Jerry was spotted at the Creamery downtown. He had coffee and had a leisurely breakfast on a Saturday morning. Owner Scott Van and manager Jim Jansen knew in advance that Jerry would be dining with them at nine am. Someone from Jerry’s team had called Wednesday to make a reservation for him and his guests.

Jansen said, I think Jerry appreciated his privacy. Obviously. We gave him a ton of respect as well. We wanted to give him his own space. Would you even believe that if you own a diner and like I call and I’m like, yes, I’d like to make a reservation for Jerry Seinfeld Saturday Morning, would you believe me?

No, Well, we’re sold. The creamery has had celebrity guests before, including Green Bay Packers quarterback Jordan Love, so the staff is well versed in making sure that celebrities can enjoy their time. They’re uninterrupted. Jansen said he was super We were super polite and super friendly. It was really cool for us to showcase Green Bay and have him come in for breakfast.

Meanwhile, Jerry was on The Today Show and he said he’s in full support of Larry David’s attack on Elmo. Hoda said the attack was said, Jerry said, nah, I enjoyed that. Jennet bush Hager pushed back and said Elmo’s an American treasure, and Jerry said, well, even Treshre’s need a beating once in a while. We’re gonna be hearing a lot from Jerry for the next ten days or so. I’ve got Jerry stories in like the next four scripts already.

I saw a trailer with Sarah Cooper. Yes, I’m gonna do the bit, you know, Sarah Cooper. She used a pantomime to Donald Trump on TikTok. Johnny Mack deals Fair. Sarah looks really good in this.

Visually, she looks really good in this, but that’s not what I meant originally. Her acting really comfortable in the role. And I saw a clip of Sarah Cooper on a talk show, really personable. Camer loves her charismatic. I get it now.

Why Netflix gave her a special off TikTok videos, I don’t know, but Sarah Cooper actually I like it. Looking forward to seeing this movie from Cracked. Yeah, that’s the website. They’re right about comedy all the time. I’m not sure if this is a new thing or where they got it from, but they’re sourcing David Tel here talking about David Tel’s Mount Rushmore of Comedy.

Again, just could have happened yesterday, it could happened ten years ago. I’m not sure. Attel says my Mount Rushmore is more of a Supreme Court. So most people the Mount Rushmore of Comedy would have four people at Tels has ten. Do you want my Mount Rushmore?

I’ll just go real quick. Carlon pryor Johnny Carson Bobo has that? Johnny, you didn’t put any women on it? Okay, Carlin pryor Lucy Bobo. How’s that a Tells list.

I should do a whole separate episode about this. So David Tell’s list, I’m not sure if this is the order number one, Dave Chappelle, then Bill Burd, Mitch Hedberg, Richard Jenny, sam Kinison, Bill Hicks, Great Giraldo, Patrese, O’Neill, Gilbert Godfried, Bob Saget, you know, all solid comedians. But you know, no Carlin, no Pryor on there, nobody from earlier. Maybe this is a twenty first century list. When did Bill Hicks pass away?

Though? When did Kinnison pass away? All right, so it’s a post nineteen eighty list. I’ll make this easy. You know it’s not awful, but I’d have to dive in and analyze that.

Who’s on your list? He has Facebook group Daily Comedy News. Drew Carrey was on after midnight. He clarified some tweets. Apparently Drew went to the Sphere where it’s just sphere with Nova, you know the place in Vegas YouTube played for months.

Drew went to see Fish the band you know Phih you know what I’m talking about there? Yes, Drew tweeted, I swear I just talked to God. I would give you all my money, stick my stuff in a blender, and swear off women parts for the rest of my life in exchange for this. I had to quite clean that up. Drew.

You’re killing me. Man. I was just on the phone with Apple the other day telling him the show is clean. Can you remove the explicit mark this next sent It’s so dirty. I don’t even know how to clean it up, but I’ll try.

Drew said the show was like what it must feel like to be a woman and experience great pleasure. Has that he used quite vulgar terms there. Taylor Thomlinson had some follow up questions. Carry explained that the reason he thought Fish was a kids to the female orgasm was because he went to see the band with a bunch of women. Oh, Drew, I got to move on.

I don’t even have to clean this up. He said. It was like being right on the brink for four days straight and then right before man, dude, the good part, an angel comes down Gabriel and he shoots Heroin into your arm. Wow. That daytime talk show, The Talk When they’re wrapping up in December, but they’ve decided to add comedians every Friday starting today.

They’ll do stand up at the Talk Today’s comedian Wendy Liebman. Next week, Preacher Lawson and Zorna Garg on the tenth, Brad Upton on the seventeenth. Beth Stelling and Mo Welsh have announced their new podcast. It is called Sweethearts that’ll be out Wednesday, May first. In the new show, the Midwestern born stand up comedians invite fans to examine life, sweet and sour moments through candy donuts, cookies, rom coms, love sex, dentistry and much more.

Now, what’s interesting with the sentence is they didn’t put a comma between sex and dentistry, so I may have misled you. It might actually be candy donuts, cookies, rom coms, love, sex, dentistry and much more. I’m not familiar with sex dentistry, but I assume you get drilled. Oh come on, I slamm that my sex dentistry joke was so good. I dropped two stories that I’ll do tomorrow because I wanted to go out on the laugh you laugh that was good, and I did that on the Fly Sydney Comedy Festival.

So I spent a lot of time trying to pull clips and I kept clicking on boxes and nobody had any clips except Sarah Keyworth, so I’ll got a little long here. Sarah Keyworth’s show is called My Eyes Are Up Here, We Are Told. Sarah Keeworth presents a joyous new show about family acceptance and a pair of big will not super big losses. In twenty twenty three, Sarah turned thirty, got diagnosed with ADHD and had top surgery. But the biggest thing to come out of the year was the revelation that maybe mom was right all along.

Let’s listen, I’m at that stage of life. All of my friends are doing very exciting things, getting engaged, getting married, having children, things like that. I’m not doing any of that at the moment, not doing anything. My mom is panicking that she’s never going to have grandchildren, not because I’m gay, but because this is my job and my brother collects ceramic ducks, so she’s she’s not sure it’s gonna work out for her. One of my oldest and best friends she got engaged recently and then she and her fiance bought a house.

I went round to have a look at it. She wanted to show me the house, show me all the rooms, so she was shown me. I don’t know what to make. I’m not very good at that kind of thing. She’s shown.

I don’t know what you do when an adult shows you their bedroom. What did you say? I was looking at us, lovely stuff, very nice. I said, oh, we which side of the bed is yours? That’s what I said, That’s what I asked.

And she went, what do you mean? And I said, oh, which side of the bed is your side of the bed? Which side of the bed do you sleep on? My friend, I’ve known her fifteen years. She looked me full in the face and she said, Oh, we don’t have sides.

We just sleep anywhere. So I said, oh, I’m sorry. What were you talking about? Man? What do you mean?

You don’t have sides? You go and pick on at random every single night. You’ve got no idea what’s going to happen. As you’re walking upstairs, I was like, where do you cry? I took a minute to get there, but very strong, very strong.

The Herald from the UK gave it five stars, presumably out of five, and said achingly funny out on the eight hundred pound gorilla today. Nick Offerman’s American ham meanwhile out of on YouTube at four Central today. You can do the conversion yourself. Adam Ray’s Bigfoot and Cigarettes.

Meanwhile, a little crossover with the Palace Intrigue podcast because it inv…

You know him. He’s going to be the King someday. Diyana’s son. You know that guy, the guy that’s not Harry him. He was visiting Saint Michael’s school.

He was asked by the students to tell a dad joke. Prince William said, and I don’t do any sort of Prince William impression. I’ve been asked to produce a dad joke, so I will channel Jack Whitehall, as most of his jokes are a bit dad like. He then engage with the children. The future King said, knock knock.

The children said, who’s there? The future King said, interrupting cow. Do you know how this money goes? As the children get halfway through interrupting cow, the Prince interrupted them and went moo. The children giggled.

Prince William acknowledged the cheesy nature of the joke and said, I get a lot of that at home. It’s the greatest one I can think of that’s clean and broadcastable. I wonder if Prince William has some Drew Carrits file on material. Jack Whitehall saw the Prince’s comments and responded on X saying, rinsed by the future King. And that is your comedy news.

If you want to hear some royal stuff, you can download the Palace Intrigue podcast. We talk about the royal family. It’s been a fun week with Megan Markle’s Celebrity Jam. Believe me, that’s been a ton of fun. And we’ve got the subscription thing up and running.

So if you enjoy our content, this show Palace Intrigue, five good news stories, Monster Sharks and Dinosaurs, and you want to get commercial free archives and the new episodes commercial free. I’ll talk about that in a second. Become a subscriber on Apple Podcasts just for ninety nine US dollars per month. You could start with a thirty free day trial so you can try it out, test drive it. If you get to day twenty nine you’re like this sucks, Johnny Mack, then you don’t have to do anything right.

It just unsubscribed. So here’s the challenge for me. I can’t preschedule the commercial free version, so normally want I do like right now, it is three twenty four pm on Thursday afternoon. I’m going to finish recording in like two minutes. I’ll edit it.

I will schedule it to deploy at three h five Eastern on Friday morning. You’re now listening to it, but I can’t preschedule the commercial free version. So the best I can do for you on the new episodes is when I get up in the morning, I’ll upload it. I’m usually on the laptop seven thirty am ish, depending on my trip to the National Donus chain. So that’s the best I can do for now.

So I don’t want totally lie to you and be like the new episode’s commercial free. The new episode will be commercial free, just not the first four hours. So if you’re up at five am Eastern, don’t get mad at me. That’s what’s going on here, Just playing all my cards up. If you’d rather support podcasts using value for Value Podcasting two point zero, you can stream SATs in our direction using Fountain n app or podcast Goop or true Fans.

I’ve been playing around with all three of those. All week shows now are supposed to say. Portions of this program may have been created with the assistance of AI. Now, AI can mean anything as I speak to you right now. I haven’t used any AI on today’s show, but I will use AI on the show notes for example.

That is the assistance of AI. And I use a program called the script, and if I misspeak the AI, Johnny Mack can do a correction. I have used that often. If I misspeak one word, I replace it. You don’t even notice.

It sounds like me. If I use it for more than a few words, it falls apartment for one word, you never know. So that’s the assistance of AI. Right, Federal Trade Commission, Get off my back. Follow this show for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your shows.

If you’re new, there’s a fallo button on your app there present so you never miss an episode. We do this seven days a week. See you tomorrow.

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media. Hidy Ho, I’m shunning back with your Daily Comedy News. You guys know I love a good fight. This from Ghana Webb. You’re home for comedy news.

Nigerian comedian parent Mouth has alleged that comedian Funny Face has breached a contract between them by failing to perform at his event after receiving payment. I love that their names are a parrot Mouth and funny Face. According to Parrotmouth, funny Face was booked to perform at a show in Nigerian was paid half his performance fee before the event, but then funny Face demanded full payment before we would perform. Parentmouth said Funny Face failed to show up at the event and hasn’t reached out to refund the earlier half payment. He also said funny Face hasn’t returned any calls we paid half the money.

We had to call him more than fifty times. He didn’t pick up the call. I didn’t even call him for a refund or write to him for anything because I believe that whatever you do, we’ll catch up with you. Uh oh arch Barker. Remember he asked a breastfeeding woman and the baby to leave his show the other day, Orge Parker says, I have nothing against babies.

Number one, the breastfeeding thing non issue. It should be an admissible and I hadn’t no id issues breastfeeding or not. Because I was on a lit stage. All I could see was a woman, likely holding a baby. The breastfeeding was never part of it.

If it were the father, I would have acted the exact same way. It had nothing to do with the baby. Making noise was purely an audio issue, had nothing to do with her being a mom. I have nothing against moms. Forbes asked Neil Brennan.

Hey, Neil Brennan, you asked AI to generate some opening lines for you new special. What are your hopes, dreams and fears about AI and comedy. I’d like to be able to load all my material into an AI and of things generated passively for me so I can use them, But I don’t think you’ll be able to replicate it completely. Human beings like human beings. I’m hoping it’ll be incredible for medicine, science, automation, But in terms of AI as a comedian, you’re gonna root for the person.

I don’t think you would have seen anyhow or made for me in conjunction with a robot. Well, I took that challenge. I threw some Neil Brennan into the AI, and here’s what it came up with. Again, Neil Brennan would tell it better and write it better, but AI. Neil Brennan, as translated by Johnny Mack is you know you’re getting old when your biggest life goal is keeping up with your cops.

Meanwhile, kids, these days are all about crypto and TikTok fame. I’m just trying to avoid needing a hip replacement before the next Marvel movie comes out. I’m not sure that sounds like Neil Brennan. It sounds like really really poor Man’s Bill Burr to me. You know, if the Tuesday Night Middler at the Chuckle Hut did that joke.

It’s not the worst joke. I mean, by itself, it’s pretty bad, but in the middle of a set, you know it would work. One of those like you know, loud guys. Here’s another one in the same style. I don’t think it sounds like Neil Brennan.

You know. I finally read the self help book everybody’s raving about. Turns out the key to happiness is being yourself great, So I’m doing it wrong this all time. Next one a little hack, but again Tuesday Middler at the chuckle Hut, and I say laughter is the best medicine. Clearly those people have never tried xanax.

Nothing suites the dread like pharmaceutical grade mood all duration. And this next one also doesn’t seund like Neil Brennan, it sounds I’m more head burgee In or Dmitri Martin. It’s actually a pretty good joke. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. That’s actually a solid joke.

I’m adding that to my joke book. When Dan Boobletz Junior forces me to open for him some night, I’m gonna whip that one out. I am not a comedian, can you tell? All? Right?

Back to Neil Brennan, and then some more fun here. So Forbes said, do you think AI can be a tool? Neil said, if it can take what I’ve made and have an AI for material for me, Yeah. I think Drake should be able to load in all his vocals, then if he likes something, he can redo it. That’s fair usage artistically, but as someone who’s written jokes for other people.

I can get into the psychology of another person. I’ve written material for Dave Chappelle. What it took for me able to do that, I don’t think it’d be easy for a computer to do. So I asked the computer to write some Dave Chappelle jokes and stay with me here. I’m doing a bit.

Don’t cancel me. So it wrote some jokes. This is ninety eight percent Dave Chappelle and two percent Johnny Mack, turning it into a Dave Chappelle style joke. Do you know where I’m going here? Don’t care?

Answer me? Okay? The AI mostly wrote you know, I’ve been thinking about this whole participation trophy thing. People always complain about how kids these days get rewarded for showing up. Let’s be real, isn’t that what we all want?

I’d love to get a trophy every time I managed to get out of bed and face another day in this crazy world. Imagine if we got participation trophies for all the mundane stuff we do. Congratulations, I’m paying your taxes on time, Greek job, or remember to change the toilet paper roll. Congratulations on being trans see and now Dave. He smokes a cigarette, he mugs for the camera and he does that thing like he’s gonna fall over, and he makes the face and he laughs at you.

That’s a Dave Chappelle joke.

Speaking of Dave Spelle jokes, now, I’m trying to illustrate here.

You know, there is a way, and hopefully I just did it to make a trans joke. That’s not a trans joke. It’s just that’s really a joke about Dave Chappelle. Another joke that I recently made in the car. I was driving through Pennsylvania on I eighty and it was a truck and the truck had its brand on the side of the truck, and he said, blank America, Blank America, and it’s on a truck.

And as I passed the truck, I just looked at my daughter and out of nowhere I go. Even the trucks are trans. Now, that’s funny. I don’t mean that in hate. It’s just funny.

It’s a truck. Don’t cancel me. I’m just having fun. In the basement. The av Club listed the twenty five best Saturday Night Live cast members of this century.

Now behind the scenes here this is actually take two of the podcast. I recorded half the podcast and I noticed the mic levels were just wrong and it wasn’t worth fixing the audio, so I just did it again. So I kind of know where this is going this time, so you’re not going to get quite the reaction I did the first time. But it is the twenty five best SNL cast members of the century. And as I sat here, I was like, Okay, who’s going to be on this?

Tina and Amy Bowen should be on it. Kate McKinnon will be pretty high.

---

And then I dove in and I started reading it.

So twenty five is Bowen Yang, twenty four is Fallon, who you know wasn’t that good on SNL. Twenty three is Vanessa Bayer And at that point I commented, on take one of this podcast, apparently this is just a list of twenty five people someone can name that we’re on sna because ya Vanessa Bear. Okay, I guess this isn’t exactly Belucian Acroyd, is it? Twenty two? Parnell twenty one, Bobby moynihan, I mean, come on, twenty Anna Gasteire nineteen, Seth Meyers.

Other than sitting at the desk was he that good. Jason Sidakis at eighteen eighty, Bryan at seventeen, Molly Shannon, Tracy Morgan. And here’s where I draw the line. I draw it between fifteen and fourteen, because fourteen is Cecily Strong, who I think is criminally underrated, so talented. Thirteen Darryl Hammond in ninety five to two thousand and nine, Rachel Dratch at twelve forty at eleven, Macpacker Awaars number ten.

I skipped a number ten, number ten, Fred Armisen, Andy Samberg at nine. He’s in the macpack he should be much higher at Tina Fey, Keenan at seven, Maya Rudolph at six, Polar, Kate McKinnon, Kristin Wig Great Pick at three. This next one threw me because this guy was on from ninety five to two. I think of him as a nineties act, but I guess he was on this century. Will Ferrell, I mean, yeah, but I don’t know, Like I said, nineties guy number one, Bill Hater, I mean, as I look at this list, you know I could give it to Keenan just for long chevity.

I’d pull Kate Way up. I’d actually pull Bowen Yang up. I’d pull Samberg up, so starting at the top, throwing out Will Ferrell just for reasons discussed hater, Kristin Wig, Kate Pohlar My, Rudolph Keenan, Tina fe Samberg, Fred Ormissen. Yeah, probably Kristin Kate. I’d put Tina out of amy.

That’d probably be my list. Steve Carell will start opposite Tina Fey in the upcoming Netflix comedy series The Four Seasons, based on the nineteen eighty one film of the same name that one starred Alan Alden Carol Burnett. In the Four Seasons, three married couples stake vacations together each season, but things are thrown for a loop when one of the husbands leaves his wife and begins bringing a younger woman with him. Oh, let’s check in at the Sydney Comedy Festival. Yes, I actually pulled clips in advance.

Got my act together this week? Huh? Well except for the whole thing where he did half this podcast on the Michael were Atro shitdo it other than that? I have my acts together this week. Chloe Pet’s fresh from her smash he had Edinburgh Fringe and soho theater sessions.

She makes her Sydney debut. She has termed audiences with her polite take on big issues, and now she’s cashing in on those points and plans and being really rude. It’s no more mister nice Chloe. Let’s listen. I’ve always been very masculine.

I was what you would call a child geezer. You probably seen children gezers knocking her ound, Just the sort of kid that looks like they can handle themselves at a wedding, right, Cousin Brian ain’t getting tuning with the particular fingers. They got it covered right the first time. The first time I realized I was a child geezer is when I went to ballet class when I was about seven and I walked in first mistake, did think it was a contact spot. I walked in and there are all these lovely girls in there too, to sort of politely jumping up for a jetie.

I look like I was going up for a corner, just stomping around the room like I was ross kempon parents. Common to go, Sorry was her regards through the ballet class. We’re told to expect routines on wedding dance floors, the footy and calling you all a bunch of Virgins as she reinvents herself as a tougher and more brutal comedian. Supposedly, Chortle said, the show is structured controlled, keeps the laughter rolling right to the end. Metro Uk said, has the audiences and stitches for stars all right.

Next up, let’s listen to Chris Ryan. The world and everyone in it has reduced Chris Ryan and eye rolls and saying, how are we expected to take anything seriously when everything is so half arsed? What if the only thing that sparks your joys another’s misfortune? Chris Ryan show is called good. Oh, let’s listen.

I’m listening to a meditation out that tells me to do the next thing I’m going to do in my life with quality, as if the most important person in the world is watching. And look, that’s a lot of pressure. Some things are aided by imagining Ryan Gosling’s watching, not everything, and at this point I love imagining him, just going why do you keep bringing me to your weird comedy show? I didn’t want to be here? And as for what you made me watch this afternoon, I can’t unseae that Amazon MGM Studios has ordered a pilot for it.

Dinks sounds dirty, right, but no? In improvisational style multiicam comedy starring June, Diane Raphael, and Paul Sheer In Dinks, Josh and Charlie played by June and Paul, are a couple who, in absence of marriage or kids, decide to literally build a life together by renovating their nightmare of a dream house. Okay, wrestling fans, the Ultimate Champion wrestler Coldy Rhodes will make a cameo in The Naked Gun. I don’t know why we’re rebooting The Naked Gun, and if you’re going to reboot it, why you’re rebooting it with Liam Neeson as your star. He’s already seventy one.

I don’t know if you know any police officers. Many of them choose to do their twenty twenty five thirty years and retire. You don’t see too many seventy one year old cups. I get it’s a parody. I get it.

I don’t know. I like Liam Neeson, but weird casting here. This is like when Steve Martin was the Ping Panther and I wanted to throw pies at the wall. That was just what are you doing an Insider till the Daily Mail, Cody Rhadse and maybe having a huge feud with the Rock in the WWE ring right now, but it looks like the battle lookstend to Hollywood. Is he’s going to star in the new Naked Gun film?

Is it star or Cameo? I suspect it’s Cameo. And that is your comedy news for today. Now, we’re working on bringing back the subscriptions on Apple Podcasts. You can get the show commercial free.

Let me tell you how this is going to work. Okay, behind the scenes, it’s a pain in the neck. I published the podcast at three oh five Eastern. I can’t preload the commercial free version. So the best I can do is publish the show at three oh five, and then when I get up in the morning, go oh yeah, I should publish the commercial free version.

So I don’t want to promise you that when you wake up in the morning you’ll get the show commercial free. I can promise you that you’ll get the archive commercial free, but you can also get the archives on the entire network here at Caloroga Shark Media. All the fiction shows we’ve loaded commercial free. Pallas Intrigue will be like this one will get up in the morning, We’ll clean it up. Trivia You’ll be like this one will get up in the morning and clean it up, all right.

So I don’t want to over promise you. And if you want to try this out, you can get a free thirty day trial. Open up this show. It’ll put the option in front of you. You can try it out.

If you go this sucks, you can cancel it anytime. Even if you like it, you can cancel it any time four ninety nine a month, or if you prefer to sport podcast using value for value, if you know what I’m talking about, you can stream SATs in our direction. Some apps you could use Fountain, podcast Guru or True Fans. I’ve been playing around with Fountain and podcast Guru this week. Or you can do what you did when you wi move up today.

You can just follow the show for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or if you get your shows if you’re new, push that button that says follow so you never miss an episode. And I’ll see here tomorrow