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Caloroga Shark Media. Hey, I’m Johnny Mac. Let’s get right to it. Jimmy Kimmel kicked off an eighteen minute monologue with this homage to Jack Parr, which I explained to you in a bonus episode yesterday. That was good.
Thank you. Anyway, as I was saying before I was interrupted, if you’re just joining us, we are preempting your regularly scheduled encore episode of Celebrity Family Feud to bring you this special report. I’m happy to be here tonight with you. Yet you say it. I’m not sure who had a weirder forty eight hours, me or the CEO of Thailand Hall.
It’s been overwhelming. I’ve heard from a lot. Of people over the last six days. I’ve heard from all the people in the world over the last six days. Everyone I have ever met has reached out ten or eleven times.
Weird characters from my past are the guy who fired me from my first radio job in Seattle, where we are not airing tonight, by the way, sorry Seattle. His name is Larry. In nineteen eighty nine, Larry tried to force me to do a bit called Jokes for Donuts, where people would call in with a joke and I would give them donuts. I refused to do it, and I made a lot of fun of Larry for suggesting it, and eventually Larry fired me and I had to move back in with my parents. But even he wrote in to cheer me up.
Thank you, Larry, and I want to thank everyone who checked in. I would say all he fill of them, but. Some that I do especially want to mention are my fellow late night talked show hosts. My friend Stephen Colbert. Here’s himself in this predicament, my friend John Stewart, Seth Myers, Jimmy Fallon, John Oliver, Conan, O’Brien, James Corden, Our Sineo, Kathy, Janda, Chelsea, even Jay reached out.
I heard from late night hosts in other countries, from Ireland and from Germany. The guy in Germany offered me a job. Can you imagine this country has become so authoritarian? The Germans are like, come here, come, who’s my boyhood? Idols Howard Stern and David Letterman were.
Very considered time and I feel. Honored to be part of a group of people that knows what goes into doing a show like this. And I also want to thank all of you for a. Lot of these clips. I’m scoping them down to cut down on audience applause.
Jimmy then got more serious. He thanked his audience, but then thanked these folks. Maybe most of all, I want to thank the people who don’t support my show and what I believe, but support I write to share those beliefs. Anyway, he’s old, he’s there, or I never would. I’ll imagine.
Like Ben Shapiro, Clay Travis, Candice Owens, Mitch McConnell, Ran Paul, even my old pal Ted Cruz, who believe it or not, said something. Very beautiful on my behalf. I hate what Jimmy Kimmel said. I am thrilled that he was fired. Oh wait, no, not that the other part.
But let me tell you, if the government gets in the business of saying what you the media have said, we’re going to ban you from the airwaves if you don’t say what we like, that will end up bad for conservatives. I don’t think I’ve ever said this before, but Ted Cruz is right. He’s absolutely right. That’s a fuss, all of us, including him. I mean, think about it.
If Ted Cruz can’t speak really, then he can’t cast spells on the Smurfs. Even though I don’t agree with many of those people on most subjects, some of the. Things they say even make me want to throw up. It takes courage for them to speak out against this administration, and they did, and they deserve credit for it.
And then for telling your followers.
That our government cannot be allowed to control what we do and do not say on television, and that we have to stand up to it. Jimmy Kimmel then spoke about the comments that kicked off this Kurf fluffle, and he gets pretty choked up here, and I got pretty choked up watching Jimmy Kimmel get choked up. I’ve been hearing a lot about what I need to say and do tonight, and the truth is, I don’t think what I have to say is going to make much of a difference. If you like me, you like me. If you don’t, you don’t.
I have no illusions about changing anyone’s mind, but I do want to make something clear because it’s important to me as a human, and that is you understand that it was never my intention to make the murder of a young man I don’t. Think there’s anything funny about it. I posted a message on Instagram on the daves killed, sending love to his family and asking for compassion, and I meant it. I still do. Nor was it my intention to blame any specific group for the actions of what it was obviously a deeply disturbed individual that was really the opposite of the.
Point I was trying to make. But I understand that to some that felt either ill timed or unclear, or maybe both. And for those who think I did point a finger, I get why you’re upset. If the situation was reversed, there’s a good chance I’d have felt the same way. I have many friends and family members on the other side who I love and remain close to, even though we don’t agree on politics at all.
I don’t think the murderer who shot Charlie Kirk represents anyone. This was a sick person who believed violence was a solution and it isn’t it. Ever, And also selfishly I am I am a person who gets a lot of threats. I get many ugly and scary threats against my life, my wife, my kids, my co workers because of what I choose to say, and I know those threats don’t come from the kind of people on the right who I know and love. So that’s what I wanted to say on that subject.
But I don’t want to make this about me because and I know this is what people say when they make things about them. But I really don’t know this show. This show is not important. What is important is that we get to live in a country that allows us to have a show like this. Yeah.
Jimmy then got very serious about the FCC. Should the government be allowed to regulate which podcasts the cell phone companies and Wi Fi providers are allowed to let you download, to make sure they serve the public interest. You think that sounds crazy? Ten years ago this sounded crazy, Brendan Carr, the chairman of the FCC, telling an American company, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, and that these companies can find ways to change conduct and take action on Kimmel or there’s going to be additional. Work for the FCC ahead.
In addition to being a direct violation of the First Amendment, is not a particularly intelligent threat to make in public. Ted Cruz said he sounded like a mafioso. Ahead of Jimmy Kimmel’s return. The President of the United States went on social media and boasted, I can’t believe ABC, fake news gave Jimmy Kimmel’s job back. The White House was told by ABC that a show was canceled exclamation point something happened between then and now because his audience is gone all caps and his talent was never there.
Why would they want someone back who does so poorly, who’s not funny, and who puts the network in jeopardy by playing ninety nine percent positive Democrat garbage and all caps. He’s yet another arm of the DNC into the best of my knowledge, that would be a major illegal campaign contribution. I think we’re going to test ABC out on this. Let’s see how we do. Last time I went after them, they gave me sixteen million dollars.
This one sounds even more lucrative. A true bunch of losers. Let Jimmy Kimmel rot in his bad ratings. I think we’re going to test ABC out on this. Let’s see how we do.
Last time I went after them, they gave me sixteen million dollars. Is that a shakedown? Sounds like it could be possibly, maybe perhaps a shakedown. Stephen Colbert briefly addressed the return of Jimmy Kimmel. I have edited this for pacing.
I’s gonna start off. You know, I’m so grateful to have this show. I’m gonna say. Thanks to everybody in here and to everybody watching from home, who I think might just be my wife Evvy, because everybody else probably watching ABC because tonight Jimmy Kimmel returned to the airway. Hi.
Well, I’m glad Tim’s back. He is a wonderful fella. To know him well is to admire him immensely, and if he takes the whole summer off. Jimmy Fallon even more briefly addressed the return of Jimmy Kimmel and if. You’re tuning in to see what I’ll say about my suspension the last couple of days, again, you’re watching the wrong Jimmy Dad, the other Jimmy Dad.
And Joe Rogan finally wait in on all this, Welcome to the party pal. On the Joe Rogan Experience on Tuesday, Joe Rogan said, I definitely don’t think that the government should be involved ever in dictating what a comedian can or cannot say. In a monologue, Rogan called Kimmel a good guy, a smart guy, and a funny guy. And Rogan said, these companies if they’re being pressured by the government, So, if that’s real, and if people on the right are like you, go get him. Oh my god, you’re crazy.
You’re crazy for supporting this because this will be used on you. You don’t think the bleeping globalist lizard people who are in the world are sitting here going great, what do we got three years? We’ll wait this out, We’ll wait this out. Yeah, yeah, let them say the government should be involved in censoring people’s speech. Well, Joe Rogan, Uh, to answer your question, the companies, if they’re being pressured by the government, if that’s real.
The President of the United States put out on social media. Last time I went after them, they gave me sixteen million dollars. This one sounds even more lucrative. You tell me, Joe. Jimmy Kimmel, in his eighteen minute monologue, addressed were there conditions on your return?
Jimmy Kimmel. People have been asking me if there are conditions for my return to the air, and there is one. Disney has asked me to read the following statement, and I agreed to do it. Here we go to reactivate your Disney Plus. And Hudo account, open.
Open the Disney Plus app on your Smart TV or TV connected device. Jimmy then thanked ABC. Fortunate to work. At a company that has allowed me to do the show the way we want to do it. For almost twenty three years, I’ve done almost four thousand shows on ABC, and over that time, the people who run this network have allowed me to evolve and to stretch the boundaries of what was once traditional for a late night talk show, even when it made them uncomfortable, which I do a lot every night.
They’ve defended my right to poke fun at our leaders and to advocate for subjects that I think are important by allowing me to use their platform, and I am very grateful for that. With that said, I was not happy when they pulled me off the air on once. I did not agree with that decision, and I told them that and we had many conversations. I shared my point of view, they shared theirs. We talked it through and at the end, even though they didn’t have to, they really.
Didn’t have to. This is a giant company. We have short attention spans and I am a tiny part of the Disney Corporation. They welcomed me back on the air, and I thank them for that. And in a really good bit, the new head of the FC see played by Robert de Niro in character, he explained how things are gonna work from now on to Jimmy Kimmel, I have made a few edits here for pacing.
Pardon me for saying so. Maybe you’re the wrong guy to talk to you, but it seems like the FCC is using mob tactics to suppress free speech. What did you just say to me? I didn’t mean any offensive. You know, you can’t curse or we’ll get fined by the FCC.
I am the FCC. I can say whatever I want. No, well, this does it sounds a little like threats and intimidation to me. Gairman, stop that’s look, it’s just me, Jimmy, the chairman of the FCC, gently suggesting that you gently shove the fuck up. But you can’t say that that’s a violation of free speech.
Oh yeah about that speech. It ain’t free no more, right, it’s a free no more. Yeah. We charge you by the word. Now you’re charging by the word.
How much are you charging? It depends on what you want to say, Like you want to say something nice about the president’s beautiful, thick yellow hair or how he can do his makeup better than any broad that’s free. Right, all right, I feel very vulnerable. But if you want to do a joke like he’s so fatty he needs two seats on the Epstein jet, that’s. The far Welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel, all right on this feed at noon today, a really spirited conversation in a great way with Jason Zennaman from the New York Times.
We discussed the re Odd Comedy Festival, which is the next big story that we’ll be covering in a couple other comedy topics. It’s actually my favorite hour of this podcast I’ve ever done. So come back into newon Eastern and catch my wonderful conversation with Jason Ziman for the New York Times, and I’ll meet you back here then