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The Shark Deck Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News from Late Bots some jokes about me try and open my pool, and yeah, I had to cancel my pool party over the weekend because my pool was so green. It looked like the swamp thing had taken up residence and there was so green I felt like I was swimming in a giant margarita. My pool is so green, I’m starting to think it’s a secret hideout for Ninja turtles. I asked my pool guy what was wrong with the pool, and he said, you know that’s saying the grass is always greener on the other side. Well, in your case, it’s the pool.
I don’t need to buy a green screen from my videos. I could just use my pool. Jimmy Kimmel, he’s not telling any late night jokes because of the writer’s drake, but he’s doing a fundraiser for Project Als. This will be May twenty six. I’ll be at Taylor Swift humble brag.
Yeah, the May twenty six show, not the Taylor Swift concert. That one’s in New Jersey. The Kimmel’s show will be in Las Vegas at Jimmy Kimmel’s Comedy Club, Sarah Silverman, Jeff Ross and Nick kroll I have already been announced. They also promise special surprise guests. Kimmell said, my first charitable memories of Las Vegas were the Jerry Lewis Telethon.
That made a big impact on me because my dad loved the telethon. Dude, mine too. My dad worked nights, so he’d get home, you know, in the middle of the night and want to watch TV. But this was back in the day when TV would sign off at like midnight one I am remember National Anthem would come on, then the test bars and sometimes it would go straight to static. Are you old enough to remember when I’m talking about?
Yeah, So he loved the telethon, if for no other reason it was on all night, it was something to actually watch. Kimbell said he would watch the telethon in its entirety, and I didn’t even go see it live. I got really fascinated by the final years of that telethon. So it was one thing in the seventies maybe early eighties, when Jerry Lewis could call in favors and he’d have like, actually Frank Sinatra, But by the end it was comedians that like really weren’t that good. I did see Ralphie May on that telethon.
Ralphie was great. I miss Ralphie. Was such a good comedian and I got to hang out with him a handful of times. Really really good person. Somewhere in the feed if you want to look for Ralphie May stories.
I just talked about Ralphie for a full episode about a year ago, if you want to check that out. Kimmel said about Las Vegas, there’s so many other things to talk about when it comes to Las Vegas. People don’t think about the fact that we have hospitals and churches and people actually care about the community. Dave Chappelle cares about his community. One of his Repstoled Bloomberg.
With the decline of Antioch College several years ago, Yellow Springs lost its cultural anchor. Speaking on behalf of Chappelle, my interest has always been in restoring the cultural and creative economy Antioch helped to foster and which made Yellow Springs a haven for art, music culture in academia. Dave continues to go back and forth with the town council for his development ideas. Jim Gaffigan tells The New York Times about blue pens, he said, I like the stable ZOPI flow. What’s amazing about that pen?
Because they work great, then they eventually explode in your hand. I use it for editing. I don’t know how people can write with a black pen. If you’ve printed out something, you put black notes on it, you’re gonna miss him. It has to be blue.
The headline from The Daily Beast Brad Garrett saying I can’t believe I’m having sex with Pete Davidson. Yeah, that’ll get your attention. Spoilers for Buck GISs. Seeing one of the plots, Pete Davidson finds out his grandfather played by Joe Peshi’s dying of cancer, so he plans out a boy’s night to cheer Joe up. In Pete’s mind, that translates to book a fancy hotel room and hire a lady.
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more for his grandpa and I have a good time. Nudge and nudge you know what I mean. Grandpa figures out Pete’s plan immediately, and the second the lady arrives he calls it off. I don’t want to totally spoil the plot, but Brad Garrett’s character gets involved and Pete Davidson has to help him with hip movements. Use your imagination, Okay, Moving on, Garrett said, I was able to read a couple of scripts beforehand.
It was so autobiographical. Of course, there are heightened theatrical scenes, but Pete Davidson was just swinging so wide, even in the comedy. But when I saw we were able to see the struggles that he really goes through on a daily basis, I thought, Wow, this is really very unique, very original. Rides that line without sounding cliche of the common in the tragedy he’s still dealing with. I think he could see by the people that jumped on the show to join him, the sport he has in the entertainment community, and how he’s really admired for being very open about the stuff that a lot of a struggle with.
I’m a recovering alcoholic at his past twenty six years of sobriety, so I really admire him. I think it’s so bored that we see people that we care about, who were in entertainment running part of life, that can be open about their struggles, which is ongoing for all of us. We all have certain degrees of suffering, depression, trauma, and addiction to varying degrees just part of the human makeup. And he’s really one of the first tackle lists, not only in the public form but in a creative form. Lewis Black spoke to laugh Button about the struggle of filming a comedy special May fifteenth of a last year, not yesterday last year, and it only coming out recently, and he said, yeah, it took longer to get it up and we had to wait.
Meanwhile, all the streaming services were in chaos and still are. It ended up taking us a long time to get it out there, but it’s certainly no different. I would have liked it to come out sooner because it would have just worked better. But I think it works fine. There’s a sense of which people feel like they’re over this.
Meeting the p they could tell me all they want. The way things are in the country at this point in time, you don’t know people are over this, and people are still mentally wobbling, and there’s still a residue of anger about everything because they were locked up. You got a whole group people want to ban books.
Meanwhile, their kids can’t read anymore.
What’s the matter with you. He explains what happens is you do the special, then two weeks later you go, oh, I should have said this instead, you start to drop things that were in the special when you do your act. But then there’s things in specially hold on too. I started doing the bit about the audience and they’ll shut the f up opening and I’m holding on to it. That’ll go away in time.
But two weeks after I’m done with the special and you’re in the middle of doing something you’ve done before, you go, oh, I left out all this that could have been said. That would have been great, and you could do that and never do a special, But you just get up and get it out there and move on. This special was about telling the story of myself on the pandemic of what I was witnessing. There was no way to put other stuff in it. As a matter of fact, things that weren’t put in it are now going to be in the next special.
It’s funny because people used to say, oh, you’re doing all the political stuff. It’s not evergreen. You can’t put it on again in and again and again. It’s like, well, it is evergreen, because stupidity is evergreen. Brett Goldstein, and he’s out touring his stand up comedy.
It’s a one man comedy show. He’s at the Orpheum Theater in San Francisco tonight through Thursday.
Meanwhile, Nick Muhammed, he plays Nick on ted Lasso, He’s also touring.
He has an alter ego named mister Swallow, who’s an off kilter lifestyle guru. He’s played the character for over a decade. Mohammed said, I can’t wait to unleash Mistress Swallow on us audiences. Frankly, the character has a bit of a nightmare. So this one off show could go one of three ways, two of which don’t even bear thinking about.
But in all seriousness, it’ll be an absolute honor to play New York’s wonderful town Hall. I couldn’t be more excited and terrified. June second, New York citytown Hall great Venue. Comedian Russ and Noble apparently used to own a tank. He used to drive it for fun and display it at military shows.
But he got into it with his neighbor and pointed the gun turret at the guy’s house. He said, he’s a property developer and he’s a bit of a jerk. He was arguing over where the fence line was. So I just pointed the tank at his house and my wife went, have you pointed the tank at his house? And I went, do you think that comes across as a bit passive aggressive?
And she said, it’s not passive aggressive. It’s the most aggressive thing you can do. You’ve literally declared war on the guy. Noble says, this is the same guy who threatened to block the access road, and I pointed out to him that whenever he decides to block that road, I’ll go over the top with it. But what you like there and I’ll literally move it.
There’s a band in the UK not really sure how you pronounced their name. I’m going to say Koonts ku in t s. It’s Koons, right, yeah, sure it is John Anyway, the Koonts have racked up another top ten hit, but didn’t get any play on Radio one. Apparently Radio one thinks their name is a little naughty, so I’m saying Koons. Their anti royal anthem called Scrap the Monarchy, entered the top forty at number nine.
They actually changed the name of their band to try and get some airplay for Scrap the Monarchy. This time they went by the Crown Jewels crowned with a K jewel to z at the end. The band has had a few top ten singles in the past, one of which was called Boris Johnson is a two Nasty Words in a row a leaf that alone. Another one called Boris Johnson is still a two Nasty Words in the row, and the third called f the Tories. The individual members of the band also changed their pseudonyms to be more respectable.
Lead singer Kunt went by k Royal for this one. Guitarist churse Hole has become windsor Castle, Bassist Rubbert Johnny is now Regal Johnny, and drummer f Sticks is now Flagsticks. They launched a single said scrap the Monarchy conclains no explatives, So unless having an opposing point of views now outlaw, there’s no reason it can’t be covered in the mainstream press. Blade on the radio and announced on BBC Radio One at the Dubai Comedy Festival today. Jimmy Carr.
I love Jimmy. He’s touring, he’s playing Philadelphia. Ish. I think this fall and that’s as close as it’s coming to where I live. I might have to get down there and see Jimmy.
I really like seeing Jimmy. Hopefully he’s at Montreal again. I could just do that. Yeah, John, that makes sense. Drive seven hours to Montreal.
Why would you drive an hour forty five to Philly when you could drive to Montreal. I don’t know. Well, if I judge Montreal, there’s a comedy festival. Plus it’s Montreal. No offense.
Philadelphia, Actually, Philadelphia is pretty cool. To ever tell you why I started running the first place. Okay, quick story. So I’m thirty nine years old. I’m at flag football and I’ve got chest pains and I go, it’s not going away, and I’m like, hm, gotta be smart here.
Heaven forbid, this is something terrible. So I actually went to the er. And when you’re sitting there with electrodes strapped to your chest, it makes you reconsider things. So I’m like, I have to get my act together, drops and wait, and I started running right after that. But the part of the story I didn’t tell you back to Philadelphia is oh, I had been in Philly the day before and had I don’t know, three cheese steaks.
It was just hard burn. But anyway got me motivated.
And now I’ve run many half marathons and one full marathon.
Jimmy Carr in Dubai spoke to Time Out Dubai and they asked him to describe Dubai in one word, and Jimmy said one, Well, Dubai, you just use the name. That’s the whole point of names. What’s your favorite place in Dubai, Jimmy said, I’m a bit of a foodie. I like eating well and some of the best restaurants in the world have come to Dubai. It’s fabulous.
You were supposed to name specific places, Jimmy, he says, I say my audiences come and find me. Yeah, there are some people who drive seven hours to montral Apparently there are people who like Edge of Humor everywhere in the world. When I go on tour, they come see the show, and that’s fantastic. It does mean that I very rarely go to a place and think, oh, they seem really uptight. There’s something about an expat community as well.
With people living away from home. There’s more of a sense when they come out of them wanting to see something live because they want to feel part of a tribe, and there’s a lot of British people living in Dubai. There were a lot of people from all over the world living in Dubai. So British people, Americans, Canadians that come to see me, they feel like, ah, these are their people. Time out du buy.
Then follow that up with what’s the weirdest thing in your fridge? Okay, Jimmy said, I’d have to ask my chef, all right. It was the name of your childhood bet Suty, his first dog. Jimmy. If you could trade lives as someone who would be Jimmy said, I would not trade lives.
I’ve got a theory of jealousy. I think jealousy is a poisonous thing. Knowing what you want is a big important part of life. Wanting someone else’s life, I’ve got a holistic view of jealousy. Why would you want to swap lives with someone?
You can’t just have their career, their status or whatever. You gotta want to have the whole baggage. His show is two hundred Dubai currencies, John, Why don’t you look it up because that’s no fun. So whatever DHS two hundred is, that’s so much it’ll cost you to see Jimmy Carr at the Dubai Opera tonight at six pm a local Dubai time. The Boston Comedy Festival in Geared Todd Berry is there.
Todd described as a master of dry wit who is as clever with written material as he is with CrowdWork. Twenty five to thirty five U s dollars at the City Winery, New Zealand Comedy Festival, back after a day off Kura Forresters show is called here. If you need, let’s take a listen. And for me now, I’m all just about unconductional love, positive vibes and not getting myself into any pt drama. And on that note, I just want to say to all of you Pitcher’s at Patni Warehouse and the car park judging me when I walk and I can see you, and I know it’s just because you are jealous of my new positive aura.
And when you call me a homewreaker of Craig and Allison’s home shout out, I know it’s just because you are jealous of me and Craig’s new can shop. All right, I mean kind okay, a little slow there in the same thing, I’ll keep pointing out they’re picking these clips, not me. So that’s the clip that Career chose to go with.
Meanwhile, it’s Sydney Mitchell Coombs as a show with a very naughty, naughty…
Can’t even say what the last word is. This bit is called I can’t stand a post porn regret. I haven’t listened to me yet, and why don’t have a feeling I’m about to tell you that I couldn’t play it. Let’s see what happens should There’s this thing that country people do with any regional folk in the house tonight. Because I’m a farm boy myself.
I grew up in the bush. And there’s this thing they do when they walk up to your front door instead of physically knocking, and they just go knock knock, knock knock, or maybe they’re driving and they’ll one down the window and go beep beep, like just do the thing, don’t announce the thing. But guess what, that apple did not fall far from the tree, because I’d do it too. You can take the boy out of the country, but you should have seen me when I first went to New York went and saw Weeke It on Broadway. Oh standing ovation, I’m just there like clack clack clack clack clack clack.
All right, at least it was clean. Kind of saw the joke coming, didn’t you. Yeah, that your company needs for today? File’s show for free on Apple podcast, Butterfy YouTube, wherever you get your shows, See you tomorrow. Who does like vacations?
Do you need some inspiration for your next road trip? Are you excited to get out there and explore the world again? Hi? I’m Johnny Mac. My podcast is called Travel is Back.
Travel is Back is travel for regular people. Hop in the car with like coach views or miles. We eat at normal places, we stay at normal places. So what I do is I hop in the car and I grab my portable recorder and I go somewhere. Season three kicks off of the road trip to Key West.
You can check out the back catalog. There are popular episodes covered Chicago, Nashville, Vancouver, Seattle, a whole bunch more Travel is Back road trips or regular people. Follow show on Apple podcast or wherever you get your shows. These are quick, these are casual, and it’s for regular people like you. Travel is Back