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Caalarokashok Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. On today’s show, Amy Schumer wants us to talk about her, so we shall we find out if Bill Burr and Billy Corgan are indeed brothers. And Ricky Gervais shared some sad news. If you’re a fan of Afterlife, You’re not going to like this news.
This first story. I wish I were more excited about it, and I’m trying to figure out a way to even do this. Amy Schumer was on the Call Her Daddy podcast. Now, if for some reason you listen to this program with kids, you know I try and keep it clean. I can’t today, So just please, if you’re not an adult, shut this off right now, or if you’re with kids, shut this off right now.
I will try to keep it as clean as I can, but I’m not going to be able to. Like I said in the open, Amy wants us to talk about her. She knows what she’s doing here. She went on Call Her Daddy. Alex s Cooper after her about the craziest interaction you’ve ever had with a fan?
Fair enough, and Amy decided to share, I’ve never said this anywhere, but I was at sort of kind of my peak, touring arenas whatever, and I’ll say it. Were they a professional athlete? Sure did? I text them late at night and they came over, did me a favor. That’s John paraphrasing there.
The favor involves the word down. Okay, we got it, move on.
And then I said, I’m so tired, I’m so sorry, and they left.
Yes, and Amy looks into the camera and says, and you know who you are. Amy did not disclose the athlete’s name or when or where the hookup took place. Some recaps of this are saying it was a baseball player. I have a guess based on a New York City baseball player and the time when Amy peaked, but I’m not going to guess. If she chooses to share, she will share.
Schumer joked that happened a couple of times, and I’m not proud of it. She joked. I’m gonna get actually canceled. She continued, you want to be a giving lover whatever, whatever, But at this moment, it was like, you know, some people will do a favor for a guy, same kind of favor, but different. I know what I mean nudge, nudge, saying it more and that’s the end of the night.
So I kind of did it my way, to quote Frank Sinatra. She explained how that moment inspired a scene in her twenty fifteen movie train Wreck. So all right, this puts it before twenty fifteen. Amy in her peak around twenty thirteen. Amy lives in New York City.
There was a ballplayer around then. I have a guess. It’s just a guess, by the way, totally unrelated the story. I got to rewatch the movie The Dark Knight. I love Batman films.
If you watched a Batman film, The Dark Knight, Dark Knight Rises, those are greed films. But let me get back to the Amy Schumer story, because I don’t want to speculate on who the ballplayer is. Amy continues telling the story, saying he did that favor, and then I yawned, and I was like, I’m tired. That’s a moment in train Wreck, that’s from real life. That’s not the most popular move that gets the best response, but that’s the truth.
When I was in my heyday, one of them was furious and one of them was totally fine with it, and the baseball player was kind of cool about it. We also learned that Amy has never orgasmed. Quote from Penetration, Schumer said, it’s a scary thing to say out loud. It’s scary because nobody talks about it, because we’re all like getting oscar. She shared that she didn’t prioritize having a partner help her climax until she reached her thirties.
Since then, however, she has experienced intimacy with generous partners who understand her needs ensuring she orgasms. First. Cooper praised Schumer, calling her admission normal for many women. Cooper then shared some of her own experiences, which has nothing to do with comedy. So go listen to call her Daddy if you’re curious about that part of it.
In another topic, Amy says she wouldn’t have known she had Cushing syndrome if not for the internet trolls. Amy said, a year ago, the internet really came for me. Commenters were saying that her face was swollen. I was like, okay, everybody like relax. Doctors were chiming in on the comments and they were like, no, no, something’s really up.
Your face looks so crazy. Amy said. Doctors thought she might have Cushing syndrome, which, as the Mayo Clinic explains, occurs when the stress hormone cortisol remains in the body for too long. It’s caused by taking steroids for an extended period of time and can cause weight gain, acne, and a distinctive facial swelling that’s called a moonface. Schumer said, at first, I was like, f off, wait.
I have been getting steroid injects for my scars from her breast reduction and cesarean section. So I was getting these steroid injections and it gave me this thing called Cushing syndrome, which I wouldn’t have known if the Internet hadn’t come for me so hard. I learned I had this condition, and then I had something called moonface. And I’m starting in a movie and there’s a camera right in my face. Everyone’s like, you look great, until one friend gave her the truth, telling Amy, your face is looking like a bit inscene.
Schumer explained that she got rid of Cushing, telling Alex Cooper, it just has to work itself out. I was feeling really down on myself before I started filming this movie. I was like, really having trouble figure out how he’s going to star in a movie. While I had this going on, director Loraine Coffee told Amy, you know, I think you look great. Amy says, I just needed one person to amp me up.
So that’s a lot of information from Amy Schumer. By the way, Amy has a movie coming out on Netflix in February called kind of Pregnant. So, like I said, this isn’t an accidental interview. You could ask me a question and I might even have a crazy story, but I probably wouldn’t share it. I’m not that kind of fellow.
But if I had a movie to promote, maybe I would tell a crazy story. Maybe I would tell you my Bill Cosby story that I’m not going to tell until after he passes away. Maybe I would tell it to you to promote my movie. You know what I’m saying. Yeah, all right, let’s move on.
Nicky Glazer has announced seventeen additional dates on her A Live and Unwell tour. NICKI probably you’re at the top of the game right now. She added a show in Boston. She’s playing New York’s Beacon Theater. She’ll now do five shows at the Beacon.
That’s no joke. Last year, Billy Corgan from Smashing Pumpkins suggested that maybe he was Bill Burr’s long lost half brother. Burr was on Howie Mandel’s podcast, So Burr’s there. Howie Mandel says, I have something that I’ve planned for you. Bring in the surprise.
Corgan walks in. Bill Burr goes what’s up and then looks at Howie and goes, you’re an a hole. Corgan says, he told me you’re totally cool with me coming. Burr says, that’s what he does. Burr again, All right, fit, I’ll do it.
Did you ever think the fact that I never told that story that maybe you shouldn’t the emails of the crap that I got. It’s not that I don’t like him, it just reminds me of all that crap. Burr says, And I’ll just do this in my normal voice. I’ll explain why. To the break, Burr says, what was supposed to happen to?
Corgan explained the theory that the two look and sound alike because they could be real life half brothers. Corgan said, about ten years ago, one of my brothers was having a birthday party and my stepmother was there. He was obviously married to my father, and my stepmother said to me, do you know Bill Burr is? Now At that point, I had never heard of Bill Burrd and know he was. I didn’t know he was comedian or anything.
He could have been the guy down the street. She said, well, he’s this comedian. And I think I even somehow caught up a picture on the phone. I kind of know s right away. Gee, he looks like my father.
Bill Burr looks more like my father than Bill Burr looks like me or I look like Bill burse I said to my mother, why he asking me this? Mom says, I think he might be one of your father’s illegitimate children. Bill Burr might be one of the children and your father sired in his days being a traveling musician. Corgan said, the fact that he can’t sing, I think this proves that we’re related, because I’m not funny. Got more details about George Lopez’s upcoming and final special.
His new special, Mui Kotolko, was recorded in September at the Dolbey Theater in la It will be on Amazon Prime February eighteenth. In Mui Kotulico, Lopez will share his reflections on aging Latino family dynamics and cultural quirks. No way at George Lopez special is going to talk about Latino family dynamics and cultural quirks, raises the challenges of getting older, and touches on generational clashes and Latino superstitions. I’ve met George a couple of times. First time I met him serious, really cool, was at a Cubs game once.
We somehow had tickets in the first row because somebody knew the guy that owned the Cubs. As we were sitting there and George Lopez was behind us in row two. He was really cool that day.
And then at the Chicago Comedy Festival saw Lopez get up.
This is when he had the Late Night show, and boy he went scorched earth like jerky face about Letterman and Conan and everybody, and he was going to reinvent late Night and everybody else sucks and that didn’t work out. That was a bit of turnoff seeing that particular live show. Other than that, I’ve always enjoyed George Lopez and his comedy. But yeah, he’s going to talk about cultural quirks. It’s what he does.
George says, it’s the last one I’ve subjected the American people to enough of my crap. Seems like the right time. It’s been the one thing that has never left me my whole life, and it’s just a wonderful place to leave it at this particular point. On Gossip Corner, TMZ tells us Miami Heat basketball player Jimmy Butler isn’t worried about being suspended by the Heat, apparently cuz just hours after the Heat hit him with a two game ban, Jimmy Butler was seen at a party hanging out with comedian Andrew Schultz. TMZ Sports reports that Butler made his way to the Reserve Cup draft and dinner.
He was photographed at the party. One party goer described him as being in a good mood. I witnessed to say Schultz cracked a joke telling the crowd if anyone asks, he’s not here, he was at the Heat facility practicing. That was someone else you saw. I always enjoy hearing from listeners.
Feel encouraged to email me or hit me up on Facebook, or however you want to connect. My email address is in the show notes anyway, heard from a fan of the show. I won’t say who they are. They know who they are because they emailed me. But you know, I don’t wanna really cross the line between private and public.
But the nature of the question was, sometimes I will on this program do half ass impressions, and I will flag them as half ass impressions. For example, I do half ass angry Jerry Seinfeld. Most people do a Jerry Seinfeld along lines of do you ever notice that da da da right? I don’t do that one. I do the angry Jerry, the slow burn Jerry.
Come on, what he da da da da da right? That’s my half assed Jerry. Question was lately, I’ve been reading a lot of Bill Burr quotes and not flagging it as a half ass Bill Burr impression. So let me explain slight distinction here. So let me explain because in my warped mind, and I know this will only makes sense to me, there’s a slight distinction.
So when I do a half ass Jerry Seinfeld, I’m usually reading and it’s hard for me. I can’t do these unless I have a quotes. So let me just find any Seinfeld quote. Oh look, here, I found a story on the fly from Yo. Jerry Seinfeld turned down twenty five million dollars for Steve McQueen’s Leamanz Porsche nine seventeen K.
Bidding for the Lamans reach twenty five million dollars at an auction last Saturday. Why did Jerry turn it down? He may feel that he could get more at a later date. But there’s no quote from Jerry in here. That doesn’t help me.
All right. Here are some words actually said by Jerry Seinfeld, but he probably didn’t say like this. The if I read the quote flat, it’s if you’re a champion skier, you could put the gates anywhere you want. So many people would do the You know, if you’re a champion skier, you can put the gates anywhere you want. But I like to do the angry half asked Jerry Seinfeld.
If you’re a champion, scary, you put the gates anywhere you want, right, So that’s what I do. I’ll do half assed Brewery, do I half assed? Jeff fox Worthy, if you have a punchline for this line, you might be read it right. So the Bill Burr, The reason I don’t consider it a half ass impression is I haven’t attempted at all to do a voice. Burr has a cadence.
So when I read his quotes. I’m trying to catch his cads. You know. He’ll talk in short sentences, you know, and I’ll throw in a punchline and he kind of chops a little bit. But I haven’t attempted to do a Bill Burr voice, which is why I haven’t called it a half ass impression.
But based on this email, maybe I’ll work on it a little bit. Promoted to half ass impression? Is it a good impression? No? Is Johnny Max saying he does impressions.
No, these are half ass impressions. I know they’re not good. I’m just trying to read you a comedy news story without reading everything in my usual sing song monotone. So that’s it. Burr’s got a little punch to him, short sentences, little bite, good letter though, I appreciate that.
Did that make any sense? Who knows? Chloe Feynman says she has no regrets calling out Elon Musk on Insta. Chloe said, remember when I got in trouble for calling out mister Nazi salute? Yeah, no regrets.
Back in August, Chloe had told Bowen Yang that a male SNL host had made multiple cast members cry. At that time, she hadn’t shared who it was. In November, she shared that it was Elon Musk. TMZ ran into Tony Rock at Lax and TMZ writes, and we had to ask him about Trump is sending the highest office on the land. You really didn’t.
You really could have just sat there and let Tony Rock get on a plane. I’m more impressed than you could pick Tony Rock out of a crowd. I don’t know what Tony Rock looks like. I know what Chris Rock looks like, but I have no idea what Tony Rock looks like. TMZ asks Tony if comedians can come up with more content for jokes when it comes to Trump headlines.
Tony says, I mean they can, but he wouldn’t use the term gold mine because he’s not feeling a lot of good fortune. Rock says it’s the job of comedians like him to try and find humor in all the messed up stuff Trump plans to do. Send your letters to Tony Rock. Trey Kennedy as a stand up comedy special on Hulu today. I believe this is outside of the hilarious continuity, but you’d have to ask a Hulu publicist if this counts as a hilarious special or not.
And since the Hulu publicity department does not want to engage with this program, I don’t know what to tell you. But anyway, on Hulu, Trey Kennedy’s specials called grow Up and We’re Told Trey Kennedy takes audiences on a hilarious journey through the ups and downs of adulthood. The special apparently is family friendly, and Kennedy explores navigating fatherhood as well as his own upbringing. He discusses his relationship with his wife, what makes him so different, and the aspects of his life that needs some growing up. Kennedy said, I’m super grateful Hulu is helping me show grow Up to the masses.
If you’re in New Orleans tonight and you can get through the snow, did the snow melt yet? Pat Burcher is performing at Sports Drink. Pat recently had some social media success posting a clip on Instagram. In the clip, he says, you know how they turn the stock market off every night, then they turn it back on every morning. Then they’re like, we’re in a bubble.
It’s going to burst. The recession is looming any day now. Everything will collapse. His solution in the video titled Comic Soov’s Economic Crisis. Then leave it off.
What are you doing turning it back on? Just unplug it. It’s like, these people have plenty of money, these people have no money. Print more and give it to them. They go, we can’t, it’ll devalue the currency.
Just say it doesn’t. People argue with me Tho’re like, Pat, you don’t get the economy, and he says, I’ve studied economics, I have a degree. I’m like, economics is just astrology for pure losers and sad news for Ricky Gervaise. If you watch the TV series Afterlife, Ricky’s character has a dog. Auntie.
The German shepherd who played Brandy on the show has passed away at age thirteen. Vislor Antille was the dog’s proper name. A German shepherd, also appeared in Tom Cruise’s film Edge of Tomorrow, a fantastic film, one of my favorite Cruise films that is an underrated film, and also alongside George Clooney in The Midnight Sky. Ricky Gervais said Auntie was a beautiful soul that she helped making Afterlife my favorite filming experience of all time. Ricky said, he and the dog hit it off straight away, and I’m so glad that I told her a hundred times a day that she was a very good girl.
That’s your comedy news for today. See tomorrow.