🎙️ Listen to this episode:
Full Transcript
Caloroga Shark Media. Is kN Williams one of the great profits of our time. We’ll get to that in a second. Hi, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. And what I love about this pot is there’s always something new.
And I was putting together today’s show and I’m like, all right, it’s okay, and then I typed kat Williams into Google and I was like, Oh, there’s the lead. I’ll get to that in a second. There’s some late night jokes that I really like. On Monday, a New York appeals court reduced Donald Trump’s bond in his fraud case from four hundred and fifty four million to one seventy five million. Jimmy Fowon said, so, the first time someone has ever heard good news you only ow one hundred and seventy five million dollars.
Having ten days to come up with one hundred and seventy five million doesn’t sound like good news. It sounds like the plot to a Jason Stathan movie. Fantastic Seth Myers went with after his lawyers argued last week that Trump didn’t have the money for the bond. Trump posted in all caps on truth Social I currently have almost five hundred million dollars in cash. Sayt says, dude, they’re trying to help you.
That’s like if oj tweeted the glove fits great. Trump’s trial is now April fifteenth. Jimmy Fallon pointed out the judge picked April fifteenth because it’s tax Day and he knew Trump wouldn’t be busy. Colbert had a terrible joke. I’m sure he told it better than I did.
But the writing on this one, I think is awful. The joke, He’s not a real rich guy. He just plays one on TV. Donald Trump has a billion dollars the same way Patrick Stewart has a spaceship. Okay, Star Trek the Next Generation ended in nineteen ninety four.
Like, what is that joke? Okay, he is Kat Williams of Prophet. Let me set up the story here in case you missed this, Federal and local authorities rated P Diddy’s home in LA and in Miami on Monday, according to Newsweek, to complete a search for sexual trafficking investigation. Newsweek adds the latest run in with the law for Combs comes after months of lawsuits accusing him of alleged sexual assault, sexual trafficking abuse and procuring illicit drugs. All right, remember Kat Williams was on Club Shaysha with Shannon Shirt.
Kind of a big deal. He threw everybody under the bus. Well, listen to this. All of these big deviance is all catching hell in twenty twenty four. It don’t matter if you Diddy or whoever you is.
All lies will be exposed, that’s all. And anyone who takes that the wrong way know why they take it the wrong way. Kat says, I gotta protect my integrity because if p Didd he be wanting to party, you gotta tell him no. Fascinating. David Tail tweeted check out Hot Cross Buns.
That’s his new special. Here’s a taste streaming on Netflix. Now. I was hit by a bicycle. Yeah no, no, it was my fault.
It was my fault. I was standing on the sidewalk. I mean, you know, you stand on the sidewalk, you get hit by a bike. I mean what. That’s the world we live in now.
And the guy who hit me was a food delivery guy. Yeah, a third responder. That’s right. These guys are heroes delivering heroes the heroes. Great joke.
CBS says, announced that they will air the Golden Globes for five more years. I guess they really liked it. The suit says, CBS’s collaboration with the Globes for this year’s broadcast was a big win for both of us and established strong momentum for award shows in twenty twenty four. You may recall Joe Cooy was the host this year. Now, I don’t know if he’ll be back or not.
I hope so. But during the telecast of the Golden Globes, Joe Coy told this horrible, vicious joke about Taylor Swift. I mean, this is the meanest thing anyone has ever said about anybody here. Let’s listen the big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL. On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift, I swear, Oh, I mean brutal.
You can’t blame Taylor Swift for apparently murdering Joe Cooy’s career by making a stoneface and not laughing at that terror, vicious, mean joke. So who knows if Joe Coyle will be back. I mean, would you risk having Joekoy back if he’s gonna tell mean jokes like that. I wouldn’t, actually I would. I like controversy.
They’ve added more cast to that film, SNL nineteen seventy five, that’s apparently a working title based on the real life behind the scenes accounts of the opening night of Saturday Night Live. JK. Simmons has been added to the cast, and I was like, Ah, I wonder who JK. Simmons would play, you know, JK Simmons, the fantastic actor, Like, who would he play, you know, some sort of NBC suit or somebody. No, Milton Burl, Yeah, yeah.
Seth Myers was on Mike Birbigley’s podcast. He doesn’t think that Lauren Michaels is going to step away from SNL or Biggs s Myers point blank if he’d be taking over for Michaels and said, or is it tinfa And then you say said, I think it’s a false narrative that Lauren is going anywhere. I think it made sense for Lauren, who’s yeah, got a flair for the dramatic, to say I think I’ll be done at fifty. But now it’s not like Lauren’s got something else. He wants to do more than this for Biggs joked, so you think it’s Keenan, The thing is Lorne Michaels will be eighty years old on November seventeenth of this year.
I don’t know, A nice round number of fifty and a nice round birthday of eighty might be a good time to hang it up Laurene. Again, nothing against Lauren. I just I want you to go enjoy retirement, Go sit on the yacht. That’s a long week at eighty years old. Friend of the pod Scott Beckett shared this in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group, and it’s from the Wall Street Journal.
It’s about how the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor gets put together. Kevin Hart this year’s winner. The article is by Cappy McGarr, co creator of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor and a special advisor to the chairman of the Kennedy Center. That’s nice gigs, He writes, as stand up comedy emerges as a genre, the Marx Brothers, Frank Fay and others stumbled upon it by riffing between acts. It retained the scrappy, underground status associated with vaudeville, but a lack of mainstream recognition proved a boon for experimentation and for performers who might have otherwise been excluded, particularly Blacks and Jews.
It’s giving ahead no wonder. A majority of Mark Twain Prize recipients have been black or Jewish, and ever the overachiever Whoopi Goldberg, is both. Mark Twain once wrote against the assault of laughter, nothing can Stand. Dusty Slay spoke to CBS fifty eight Milwaukee about his creative process. As Dusty said, I like to write out my set list, so I have a general idea of the order I want to go.
The act of writing helps himent the order in my head. I like to build an act. The hour I’m doing right now completely different than my Netflix special. This new hour probably took me six months backstage, he says, I do like to take a second and kind of gather my thoughts. I don’t want a lot of people back here.
I want it to be really normal. And chill Abe has the hardest job in the show because he’s hosting Naomi, who’s the feature. Is in there to pump it up. So when I walk in it’s a hot crowd. If I can go out and tell one joke.
Everybody laughs. Everyone is comfortable. Audience members are not comfortable because they’re worried the comic’s not going to do well. If you can go out and give them something hot right away, they can all relax. If I’m up there and things aren’t going well, well, maybe I’ll try to move some of it up earlier to see if that’ll work better.
CBS fifty eight was curious about his writer. The Milwaukee improv said, Dusty’s easy. Dusty’s writer is Green Tea. Dusty says, I just get things from my room and eat those. Sometimes I go to the club and if they have good snacks there, I’ll eat those too.
The person representing the club said, we’ve had comedians ask for Air Force ones T shirts, incredibly expensive bottles of tequila. We work with their teams on what we can actually provide. There are several ways to support the show. One you can buy me a coffee at buy Me a Coffee dot com slash Daily Comedy News. Listen to this said cup.
There’s almost nothing in it. You can go there and you can join the two dollars Club. That’s just a nice way to make a two dollars donation once a month. If five hundred thousand of you do that, I will be a millionaire. Actually, i’ll be a twelve millionaire, right, five hundred thousand times two every month.
Yeah, that’s a lot of money. Unfortunately we’re just shy of five hundred thousand. I’m getting there, though, So buy me a coffee dot com slash Daily Comedy News. Sign up for my substack. That’s where I pontificate about the media.
Go to mcdeepod dot substack dot com. The link is in the show notes. Sign up for free. It’s gonna ask for money. Blow right through that.
Go no, but I want the free version. I’m not trying to make money off that. Stephen Colbert felt bad about his Kate Middleton jokes. Now I’m going to play a two minute statement from Colbert. Now, it’s not an apology.
You don’t hear the word i’m sorry or anything like that. It’s more of an explanation. And I don’t know why Colbert is so feeling so guilty about it. I’ve made my share of Kate Middleton jokes. I’m the writer on the Palace Intrigue podcast where we talk about the royal family every day.
She had disappeared. People were using phrases like Brazilian butt lift. Brazilian butt lift is funny, and it’s my kind of humor. It has really nothing to do with Kate Middleton. It’s a Brazilian butt lift joke.
Hey, did you hear Biden got a Brazilian butt lift? That’s equally as funny. Do you hear Mike in Cleveland’s getting a Brazilian butt lift in May? And that’s why I’m going out there. It’s just as funny.
So I think Colbert overreacted here. But let’s listen. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we we do a lot of shows, and I tell a lot of jokes, and I tell jokes about a lot of different things, mostly what everybody’s talking about. And for the last six weeks to two months, everybody has been talking about the mystery of Kate Middleton’s disappearance from public life. And two weeks ago we did some jokes about that mystery, and all the attendant truffra in the reporting about that, and when I made those jokes, that upset some people, and even before her diagnosis was revealed, And I can understand that.
I mean a lot of my jokes have set people in the past, and I’m sure some of my jokes will upset people in the future. But there’s a standard that I try to hold myself to, and that is I do not make light of somebody else’s tragedy. Now I don’t know whether her prognosis is a tragic one. She’s the future of Queen of England, and I assume she’s gonna get the best possible medical care. But regardless of what it is, I know, and I’m sure many of you, far too many of us, know that any cancer diagnosis of any kind is harrowing for the patient and for their family.
And though I’m sure they don’t need it from me, I and everyone here at the Late Show would like to extend are well wishes and heartfelt hope that her recovery is swift and thorough. Now, please say hello to Lewis Cato in the Late Show. Band. Well, let’s see what’s going on in Milbourne, all right, because I record it’s the twenty sixth, is you listen, it’s the twenty seventh, which means in Milbourn it’s the twenty eighth. This is so confusing.
Equally as confusing is which of these bookmarks, is it? I have one, two, three, twenty three tabs open on my MacBook right now, and apparently it’s none of those twenty three. All right, let me google Milbourne Comedy Festival. Now. While I was doing all that, I forgot what day it is.
Twenty six, twenty eighth. This is also the slowest loading website. But it’s got to load all the way from Australia, so you can understand why it takes a minute. That’s not how the internet works, John, Oh, yeah, I mentioned this yesterday. The Aussies do their calendars Monday to Sunday, so like I’m trying to click where Thursdays should be and the Thursday’s not where Thursdays should be.
Why do you have an alternate calendar down there? What’s going on? Like? I get week end? I get it, I got it, Britz, you don’t have to write me, but I don’t know.
Let’s see who’s playing bron Lewis on Sunday’s episode. You’re gonna hear a lot about bron Lewis. I’ve seen buzz on her. She’s playing at six twenty pm all times Melbourne.
All right, here’s one with a clip Takashi Wakasugi.
His show’s called Japanese Azzie. Let’s listen. I’m from Japan, thank you, And I have a question Australia. I went to supermarket to get egg, right, and there was no free round egg. It’s sold out.
The only kJ eggs was there. Right. The question is can I buy that kJ egg in the situation? Are you listening? It’s so confusing.
I tried to get but that makes me worry. Maybe someone see me, And then I think, oh, this Asian guys to buying kJ egg get out. It’s not good for the Asian community here, right. I remember him from last year. He’s funny.
The clip is still funny, but I remember that from last year. Reyes Matthewson’s show was called First radioh Yeah, that shows at six twenty five pm. I might have to go to Melbourne. I like these six pm starts. That means I’m home by like eight fifteen I go to bed.
That sounds awesome. Now. The website lied to me when they said there was a clip. It says clip, and I clicked it. There’s no clip.
I’ll read it to you. You know, when you’re eating fast food, when you’re driving you think no one can see you, even though your car is windows the whole way around. This show will be like that, public and intimate stuff, says Reyese. Matthewson is one of New Zealand’s best comedians. But there’s no clip.
Let’s fine one more with a clip. Akmel, I’ll played him yesterday, he’s back. What times that show six point thirty? I mean think about that could be home sleep. You young people can go to these ten thirty PM shows, not me.
Helen Bauer’s show is called Grand Supreme Daring Princess seven o’clock start, says play clip. Oh, there is a clip, let’s listen. I know it’s a comedy show. I don’t want to get too scientific, but when you eat when you’re drunk, the calories don’t count. It’s like eating on a train.
It’s not technically a meal. It’s not The thing is. I’ve got this two thing I do. It’s so adorable. When I’m drunk and emotional, I can now eat two kebabs in the space of time.
It takes the average human tweet half a kebab. What where do you put it? It’s just a metabolism thing. Look look at my wrist. That was fun enough.
I had to cut it a little short. She started using words. You know, I try and keep this thing clean. She was using words. That F word, a word for the thing that you keep in a bra.
You know, I can’t play these things trying to keep it clean. Here and that is your comedy news for today. If you enjoy the program, tell a friend about it too. Oh we didn’t talk about Triumph. Oh my god, I was so excited.
Did you see? Triumph retweeted me. Yeah? Boy? Am I needy?
Or what? Yeah? From the Triumph the Insult Comic Dog account, Triumph wrote Funniest comedy special of twenty twenty four is mine, says DCN Pod. Watch it here and tell everyone because we all got this little account, Let’s make poop number one special. Watch it.
It’s on YouTube. Just search for Triumph Fantastic Special. Still laughing about it? Natural comedy es for today. I did all that already.
See you by