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Caloroga Shark Media. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your daily comedy. He’s a quick reminder. I’ll have episodes every day through the holidays, seven days a week, not taking a break. So if you’re in the car, you just need to get away for your family for ten minutes.
I’m here for you. Seth Meyers had a couple good jokes lately. The first one, according to a new report, President Biden frequently tells aids and friends in private conversations that he feels so much younger than his age. And I’m sure he does, but it doesn’t inspire a ton of confidence when you walk around going man, I feel seventy three newt topic. A jury ordered Rudy Giuliani to pay one hundred and forty eight million dollars to two former Georgia election workers.
Seth joked well after marrying his cousin, giving a press conference at a landscape and company, and almost masturbating in the Boar movie, Rudy Giuliani has finally slipped up. Wanda Sykes is on The Daily Beast’s Last Laugh podcast. The topic Dave Chappelle visiting a representative Lauren Bobert recently Wanta said, wow, I mean if I go to Capitol Hill, I don’t think I’m going to seek her out. You know, where’s Lauren oh Man? Sounds like she’s gonna have to have it out with David at some point.
New topic. Did you expect Will Smith to be dragged out by security? You remember Wana was hosting the Oscars that night? Wanta said, Man, are you kidding? It’s the Oscars.
I don’t care who you are. I thought there were going to be some big dudes in suits and they take them walk them out, and Laped was going to be waiting for him on the other side. They followed up, what do you think that didn’t happen? Wanta said, it’s Hollywood. It’s just craziness.
I don’t know, but I do know that Chris didn’t want to press Georgia, so I guess it started there.
Also, we were going to change it up pajamas to say good night, but I stayed i…
The conversation turned to Wana’s guest hosting of the Daily Show and does she want the job. Wanna said, I have not had conversations about that. You know what, I’d say, No, I don’t think i’d want to do it, But I say that right now. Who knows down the road. Especially with kids, it might be nice to stay in one place and have a schedule in a routine, But then it feels like a job.
I’m doing comedy because I don’t want a job. Who’s her pick? Everyone brings a different take to it. I know Leslie Jones really wants it. Ronny Chieng is good.
I thought Sarah Silverman did it job. Who knows? But you know, I was sad to see what happened with Roywood Junior. Kevin James will have a special out on Prime Video on January twenty third, Kevin James Irregardless. We’ll see Kevin James deliver his unfiltered take on parenting, marriage, and getting older, covering topics from why he doesn’t trust technology to how many teetertots he can fit in his mouth.
Here’s a clip which I liked a lot. I trimmed it. He’s doing a lot of body language jokes, so he’s shaking the entire time. So as Kevin speaks here, just picture his entire body’s shaking. They’re all up to something.
Those apps, you know it. That’s their goal. They want to stay on your phone as long as possible. That’s why it’s so hard to delete an app. You do you ever try to delete an app?
You got to do that hard press on the phone. First of all, all the apps are shaking there. Well, they know somebody’s going. They know this. This is judgment day for one of them.
One of them just looking around seeing what each other did, like thinking about who’s going. That’s why they make that little X so small. It’s small in the corner because you can’t get it with your fat thumb, and you hit anywhere else on the screen and everything settles, and they’re like and then you gotta fire it up again. And they’re like, oh my gosh, this guy’s relentless now thinking about what they did. Oh, he’s definitely getting rid of me.
It’s not you, it’s me. I’m learning Spanish in thirty days. This idiot couldn’t learn Spanish if he was raised in Guatemala for thirty years. Real nice clip there, looking forward to that one. I wouldn’t have thought that I was, But hearing that clip, I’m like, all right, this is pretty good.
Jack Whitehall will have a special January thirtieth, this one coming to Netflix. It’s called settled Down. It was recorded over three sold out nights at London’s two Arena. That’s seventeen thousand fans at each showing. In the special, Jack will riff on dogs, drinking, dining alone, and finally deciding to settle down to become a father.
We got another clip for you. I like this one a lot too, but I did have to trim it some f bombs. We don’t do f bombs on the Daily Comedy News podcast, so this is a trim down. I wanted a god dog. I wanted a proper hound.
Yeah, I caught it. Dog you see tattooed onto the arm of a millwall. Fame can a dog that gets you a little bit of distance and respect when you’re walking down a street with it on the way the phones have a couple of loggers with the boys. We compromised and got a toy poodle. I wanted a hound.
This thing looks like it came out of a kinder Surprise. It’s the opposite of a guard dog. I’ve been abused because of my dog. I was in a pub in Wolfamstowe with my mates. Oh geezer at the bar looks over at me and my dog is like, am I does your dog come in?
Amends would judge a book by its cover? Buddy, you look at her the wrong way, she will rip your throgs house. You better pray she doesn’t get out of this handbag. I starting to think Trevor Noah is taking a run a Kevin Hard for the Hey, can you announce more projects? Title New Mexico United soccer team apparently has teamed up with Trevor Noah to create the World According to Football, a five port doaku series that travels around the world learning about how soccer functions as a mirror to society.
Episode two apparently focuses on the New Mexico United Academy and their efforts to buck traditional American paid a play system through a fully scholarship program. Yeah, if you’re involved in youth soccer, when I started being involved as an adult, you know, like twenty years ago, you could play town soccer, and then travel soccer came in. So instead of playing like the next town over, now you were traveling from North Jersey to South Jersey and then the Brits came over and took over and started like academy soccer, and soccer went from being four hundred dollars to four thousand dollars. So why did you pay the four thousand dollars, Johnny Mack? Because everybody else went up to the higher leagues, Like my son waited a year because Dad was like, I’m not driving at Tom’s River for game.
What are you crazy? Fast forward five years, I’m driving to Boston for games. I mean, it’s insane. But the lower leagues where you weren’t paying four thousand, the play was garbage because anybody who could play at all was given the Brits four thousand dollars. Anyway.
All five episodes are now available on Paramout Plus. Interesting note from Jimmy Carr. He says that former British Prime Minister Tony Blair confirmed to Jimmy Carr that there were UK governmental probes into UFOs and extraterrestrial life. He confirmed this during a night out together. Carr said, we were sort of quite drunk, a bit giddy and excited, and Tony Blair was in the corner of the room.
We went we should go ask him something. I was like, I don’t know what are we gonna ask him? We sort of concocted the plan. Why don’t we go and ask him if there’s aliens? Jimmie Oliver was there and chips in and goes, are there aliens?
And Tony Blair gave like a really good, sort of really good political answer, and he goes to need to know basis I would be told if I needed to know. If I don’t need to know, then they don’t tell me. Jimmy carrs of the opinion an alien invasion could make things better. He said, the state of the world, what’s going on? Maybe alien overlords are not such a bad idea.
Continuing a fun set of topics today, Emily Radikowski. You remember she dated Pete Davidson for a while. Well, this is nothing to do with Pete Davidson. I’m just telling you who she is. She has asked comedian Celeste Barber to stop making fun of her Instagram posts.
If you’ve never seen this, Emily will post, say, a photo in a bikini, and then Celeste, who has a different body type, will pose in a similar outfit in a similar way, and it makes the original post look ridiculous. Emily blocked Barber in twenty twenty one after Barbara mocked one of Emily’s swimwear campaigns, captioning it, We’re sick of you objectifying our bodies.
Also, here’s my butt.
Reradikowski said, this whole drama Celeste has been blown out of proportion. In general. I found her it’d be really funny, But the message I was trying to send her was I just don’t want you to do this to me anymore. I want to be able to do my thing where I’d be about writing in my terrifying experiences in an industry that doesn’t protect women and young girls and fen presenting people while also having a bathing suit line. Next month topic from BuzzFeed.
Matt Riife apparently texted Brook Schofield after she put him on blast on her podcast, and her response is low key iconic. All right, BuzzFeed, what do you got? Brooke had said, I wouldn’t say he’s my ex or anything because I wasn’t like in a serious relationship with him, but it wasn’t just hooking up with him. I really liked him. Soon more red flags began to appear.
Brook said that should fly across the country see Matt and Sportaman shows, and when they were apart, he would text her saying she was all he could think about and he couldn’t wait to see her again. Then Brooke came across a TikTok video from a woman who said that she was dating Matter earlier this year. When Brooke realized that the timeline was suspicious, she reached out to the user and immediately added her to a group chat with around seven other women who were in the same boat. I love it. It’s the Matt Rife is cheating on me group chat.
Boy. Can we get a print out of that, please? Brooke said. She reached out to Met to make sure she had a fact straight. That’s when she realized he had blocked her number.
At the end of a photo dump, Brook posted Instagram there was an I message screenshot showing a text she had received which reads Brooke, this is m r H. I wonder who Mr could be. One person wrote, There’s no way that’s real. Could you confirm that that’s real? She replied, Oh, it’s real.
Somebody else jumped in and said Matt apparently refers to himself by his initials. Brooke replied, like he’s JFK. Paul Elia picked Christmas Eve for premier day for his debut special, Detroit Player, the first ever shot at the Detroit House of Comedy. I’m getting this from Deadline, who I think just printed whatever Paul’s camp said in because the first sentence that I skipped, but I’m going to go back now for a reason. The first cent that’s the Deadline just printed was rising comedian Paul Ilia has set a Christmas Eve premier day.
Blah blah blah. Al Right, so we’ve established he’s a rising comedian according to somebody, and here’s what makes he suspicious of this whole story. Ilia came to shoot a special after spending years performing stand up in many unlikely and awkward scenarios in order to pay his rent. Here we go. He performed that at Dubai Mall, almost got arrested.
Soon after, he performed at a royal event for Saudi Royalty, again almost getting detained. With Detroit Player, he explores authenticity, censorship, and what it means to hustle while avoiding arrests abroad. If you’re wondering who this is, he’s an LA based standup comedian, actor, and content creator. Originally from Detroit, perhaps best known for appearing in over a dozen sketches on TBS’s Conan, as well as a claimed series such as Ramie and Lady Dynamite. Currently, he’s a series regular and longtime friend and former roommate Yama Yusef’s series Happy Family USA, which is expected to premiere next year.
OW, this is interesting. I didn’t read ahead here. Look. Ilia produced Matt Rife specials Natural Selection and Matthew Stephen Rife after serving as an associate producer on his debut special OnlyFans. All right, rising comedian.
Let’s see for the eight hundred Pound Guerrilla. They have their list of the best comedy specials of twenty twenty three. Again, I’m waiting for Ricky Gervaise’s to come out so I can finish mine. Let’s see they have I’ll just quickly go here number fifteen. May Martin.
I’ll vote No. Fourteen. Dina Hasham Dark Little Whispers. I need to get to that one. Thirteen Kyle Kanine Shocks and Struts.
You have that criminally low. That is one of the top specials of the year. Shane Gillis Beautiful Dogs. I have it at number two. Mark Norman Soup to Nuts, Good Call at eleven, ten Berbigs, The Old Man on the Pool.
My quick take on that is, you guys are all gonna like it, and I’m a comedy snob. Nine Sarah Silverman, Someone You Love. I like that one a lot. Beth Stellings. If you didn’t want me, then I didn’t grab me.
Joe Parra’s Slow and Steady. I have some thoughts about that. I’ll share in my review. Pete Holmes, I’m not for everyone. Love Beat five, So sar Zemata’s the first woman.
I haven’t seen that one for Sam Jay Salute Me or Shoot Me? Did not grab Me? Three? Gary Goldman’s Born on Third Base I didn’t see yet. Two Chris Rock’s Live One, Selective Outrage and their number one special of the year, which isn’t even on my top twenty.
John Mulaney’s Baby Jay. Why not Johnny Mack. I’ll talk about it at length next week. That’s your comedy news for today again. I’ll have episodes every day, not taking a break here.
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