Jim Gaffigan signs bourbon at Kroger, Nate Bargatze threatens Emmy fines, Fallon tapes in Detroit

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Full Transcript

Caloroga Shark Media very busy Saturday, and I should start with the real news. But as I sat down a record, I heard from a friend of the show, Scott Beckett, live from American Airlines flight ten twenty one. He is telling me that the airline is in on the Bob’s Burgers host. Now, if you’re a new listener, I have two questions for you. One, have you ever seen Bob’s Burgers?

The answer is no, no one has. And two, and this is the real good part of the conspiracy. Have you ever met anyone who has seen Bob’s Burgers? The answer is also no. I get that the artwork exists, and Scott has sent me American Airlines is posting the artwork for Bob’s Burgers, but as we know, there’s no such show.

It’s just something Kevin Burkhardt promotes on Sundays.

Speaking of football, I had the Vikings Thursday night and mine was a sixteen…

I’m in fifty sixth place, but I’m not letting him catch me. He also said he was listening to Daily Comedy News on the flight, as one does, and apparently my patent Oswalt Star Trek commentary made him chuckle, and his flight neighbor and his seat mate said, you seem to have liked that. Thank you, Scott. All Right, I diggress. Where should we start.

Let’s start with Late Night because I didn’t do it yesterday. As you could tell, today is a much happier show than yesterday. Catching up from during the week. Did you see when the President went out for seafood the other night and the National Guards out in DC? Will Seth Meyers said, President Trump dined with several members of his cabinet at Joe Seafood while RFK just ate something they hit on the drive over.

It’s hilarious. Kimmel said, there are hundreds of troops on the state and somehow they led a thirty four time convicted fellon Walton to or a restaurant. No questions asked at all. Sharp commentary there, Jimmy Kimmel. Michael Costa said, Hey, nothing says I feel safe like driving one block from the White House surrounded by a fleet of armored cars and countless Secret Service agents.

Kim Lill again, kim Old talked about that drawing that Jeffrey Epstein apparently had Kimmell said, I know how you get him meeting the president to admit that he did this. All you have to do is say that drawing is great, and he’ll immediately take credit for it. Colbert said, And you know what they say, if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, that duck shouldn’t be allowed within three hundred yards of a school. Late, I was good this week, Fallon had commented on the White House renaming the Department of Defense the Department of War. Fallon said, when they heard about the big change, the owner of Cracker Bear was like, Eh, maybe take a minute and think about it.

You know what I’ve been thinking about Jerry Seinfeld. The horrible Charlie Kirk story has given mister Seinfeld a lot of cover. I noticed on Friday the mainstream media was starting to notice the Seinfeld’s comments. The weekend may help save mister Seinfeld, but I’m not sure that story is going away. College football today, Notre Dame takes on Texas A and M at seven point thirty.

There are a few articles during the week about Shane Gillis’s love of Notre Dame. It even made the New York Times, they write Notre Dame limits sideline passes for home football games to coach his family members. So Tommy Reese discovered a long lost cousin. That’s how Shane Rees ended up on the sidelines. Coach Rees, who was the quarterback for the Irish from twenty ten to twenty thirteen, said, the students blew their cover they noticed that cousin Shane was a famous comedian.

Coach Rees says, the students were going nuts. Our cover was blown. Now. Last weekend, Shane Gillis opened for Zach Bryan at Zach’s Notre Dame concert. I saw Zach during the summer.

Fantastic, and he sounds way better live than he does on the records, and he sounds really good on the records. Notre Dame coach Marcus Freeman said, you know, Shane’s an awesome human, right, He’s got a lot of notoriety just because of who he is and the way he really performs his craft. We appreciate him and the sport he gives our program makes us kind of cool. I guess. For the team season opener against Miami, Notre Dame listed Shane Gillis on the injury report as out because of tailgating.

Last year, during the first round of the College Football Playoff, the jumbo screen showed Shane Gillis. Fans went nuts, the camera shifted off Shane, the crowd bowed. The New York Times rights back on Gillis, cheers, back off Gillis booze. Shane said, it makes me slightly uncomfortable because people were like, who the hell is this guy? But I think I represent a good note.

Youre dame fan. I never went to school there. Of everything, I’ve been lucky enough to have happened to me, and this is probably easily the coolest that. It’s definitely the coolest with my family. During the concert last weekend, Shane Gillis exited the stage.

He high five fans and shouted f Michigan. Oh there’s more, Brady Quinn said, every single night in Ireland we hung out. There were some stories. Gillis invited former quarterback Ian Book to a show in Sacramento. The night edited at three am at a blackjack table with Books, high school friends, Shane Gillis and UFC fighter Nate Diaz and his aunt Dearage.

You know, I used to have nights like that when I worked at Sirius and I’m not just trying to be cool like that. We would go to Vegas. One of my high school friends, Matt, lives in Las Vegas, and we would go out and it’d be someone that was, you know, Shane Gillis level famous and their friends and you’d wind up at the blackjack table three am. I could relate to this, believe it or not, as lame as I am doing a podcast in the base. I wasn’t always this old.

Former Gord Chris Watt said, Shane’s almost reserved down to earth. He could probably name all the Notre Dame quarterbacks I played with and actually did know them all. You never know these days how big fans some people are. He truly grew up living the team. What a great profile in the Times, right.

This is good for everybody and so much more fun than yesterday’s podcast. I’m just gonna point out.


Meanwhile, Bert Kraser spoke about Bert’s viral Florida State pregame speech.

Who’s Florida stak got today? We should know this? They’re off today? Well that lever Ruin is my show? What are you doing?

They play Kent State and on the twentieth. If you can wait, come on, Florida State schedule makers. I had this all lined up. I should have checked before anyway. Bert Kraser opened up about his viral Florida State pregame speech.

Bert told Ridge Eyes and Florida State called me and said, would you give a pump up speech before the game? And I was like, yes, but you gotta give me the parameters. I literally scraped everything they wrote for me. I walked out with no script, and I gave what I would argue is my best. What did he say?

Much funnier than I will read to you? Bert said, my name is Bert Kreischer. I spent six and a half years at this beautiful institution. I’m not even sure if I have a degree. I was baptized in nineteen ninety one in that end zone when there were still wooden bleachers, and when that spear went into the fifty yard line, tears streamed down my eyes.

So those tears were gorn it in Gold Alabama thinks they’re going to come in and roll all over us. They don’t know where they are. I only have two words to say to you, go knowles. Bert said, ninety thousand people pop up. I’m crying, tears are coming down, my shirt comes off.

Tom Sigor is crying. The athletic director was like, that was amazing. Coach Norville is pumping his arms. They go, do you want to see the spear drop? And I go yeah, and they take us.

I’m shirtless to the fifty yard line. I look at Tommy, He’s crying. I’m crying. It’s the best day of our lives. That’s what the Alabama game was for US.

Florida State thirty one, University of Alabama seventeen. More sports dramatic actor Adam Sandler, he stopped by the University of South Carolina. He was at the Carolina Coliseum and he played basketball with the men’s basketball team on Wednesday afternoon before doing a concert at the Colonial Life for Reas Saandler said, shout out to the game Cocks. I got to meet the coach a lot of the players that were nice enough not to swat off all my shots. See, this is so much more fun today.

If you listen to Friday Show, Friday Show is a little serious. The news was a little serious. This is fun. This is what I want to do some SNL news. Another cast member has left.

Who is it, Johnny Mack? It is Eggo Nuotam, who joined the show in twenty eighteen. She said, the hardest part of a great party is knowing when to say goodnight. This is on Instagram and she said, I am immensely grateful to Loren for the opportunity, to my castmates, the writers, and the crew for their brilliant support and friendship week after week on that stage taught me more than I could have ever imagined, and it will carry those memories on that laughter with me always. Now invite me to your weddings.

Please. During the week, Jimmy Kimmel talked about retiring. I’ll go first. You’re not retiring. Why would you retire.

It’s a great gig. You have the summers off. As I’ve said in the past, just tell it. If you want to work less, just tell ABC. I want a longer winter break.

I want to not do a show at all. On Fridays. You guys can show Friday Night videos or something. We’ll tape two on Wednesday, we’ll do four week You’re not walking away from the show, Jimmy, It’d be insane. It’s a good gig and you’re like my age what are you going to do record a podcast in the basement.

Kimmel’s answer, I’m not prepared to answer that question. Something I think about a lot. Things have changed over the last few years, the last nine years. Every day is a new adventure and I kind of take them as they come. So much press about the Spinal Taps.

Everything about the Spinal Tap two has been in character in universe. So The Guardian went with the bit and said almost all the Spinal Taps catalog has been unavailable since release. At one point, their then label, Megaphone, took legal action to prevent them from making any music at all. From nineteen sixty seven’s Spinal Tap Sings to nineteen eighty two Smell the Glove, the band made eleven studio albums plus four rumored unreleased records, two live albums, as well as Nigel Toughnell’s solo project Clam Caravan. Yet since nineteen eighty four, all that’s been available has been the soundtrack to the film, featuring a selection of songs from those albums.

Then the band put out nineteen ninety two s Break Like the Wind, a mixture of new tracks and re recordings, and then a similar compilation on two thousand and nine’s Back from the Dead, the Guardian tells us the problem is that, for nearly fifty years, ownership of spinal TAP’s catalog has been scattered. At one point it was owned by shadowy Iranian operatives before Ian Faith faked his own death and distributed the songs around assorted fated celebrities like Mario Andretti and Billy Jean King. Now, even if spinal Tap wanted to re release the catalog, they couldn’t find it to buy it back. And that is a fun Saturday episode of Daily Comedy News. Tomorrow show will be good too.

I got a lot in the script and I bounced like seven things today, so we got plenty to talk about. And I’ll meet you back here tomorrow