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Caloroga Shark Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. We have a new pope, and Jimmy Kimmel says, we have an American pope and a Russian president. Isn’t incredible? Dosi Leidik said, but the votes are counted and the Vatican doesn’t have a January sixth, so there’s no going back.
Stephen Colbert said, Holy Father, you had me at jd Vance is wrong Kimmel again, you gotta think about this one. This must have been what it felt like when they opened the first Olive Garden. Some funny stuff on threads. Griggs posted the new Pope is from Chicago, which means I probably taught his Level three improv class. David the Stella writes, American Pope sounds like a nineties comedy movie where due to some random paperwork, era dude named Steve has made the pope.
Mark Stevens Comedy says the new Pope is from Chicago, which means his reign could last anywhere from twenty five or six to four years. Several people had the joke. I’ll credit Josh Barrow, who’s the first one I saw posted Chicago Pope Tuesdays on NBC. There’s also a CBS very into that joke. Sebastian Manascalgo checked in.
All right, here’s the deal. Pope’s from Chicago and I’m getting calls? Do you know the Pope? Why would I know the Pope? He’s sixty nine years old?
All right, where do you think I met the Pope at seminary school? I don’t know the Pope. I’m happy he’s from Chicago. All the blessings to new Pope Leo. By the way, why don’t they use the real name of a guy.
I think his name is Rob. Why isn’t it just Pope Rob? Why do we got to change the name up? I’m sure I could chat sheeap, you tee it or google it, but I thought i’d ask you guys, because you’re so smart. Good luck, Pope.
I found it odd that there was no comment from Jim Gaffigan when I looked at Friday at ten twenty five am, but he had posted about his bourbon twenty one hours earlier. I did some maths, so ten twenty five plus twenty one hours would have been when in eleven twelve one five pm Jim knew about the Pope. I find Jim social media to be pretty disingenuous. Anyway, It’s just about telling you his stuff. Andrew Schultz declared, New Pope went to Villanova Knicks in four Here in New York City, it is Nick’s town.
People are very excited. One person who’s excited is Tracy Morgan. Let’s listen. Subscribe New York City. This subscribes Nicks and everything in it, the Freedom Tawa, all of that.
We New York. We very resilient. We don’t play we scrappy. So this team represents us. This is what New York is about.
This is where King Kong died. The Warby is a film here, son of Sam was born here. You know where they filmed The first ghostbus is here? Do you understand that the marshmallow Man walked through here? I’m gonna holler at you later.
The just for laughs lineup is out. I will do that tomorrow because I want to talk about this historian people. The headline is Amy Schumer, the unnamed celebrity stranger that Hilaria Baldwin calls out in new book. Hilaria talks about a mystery celebrity in her new memoir am Manuel not included, and Hilaria writes, I don’t need to use her name and I don’t want any problems with her. No matter what, I hope I never meet her.
No people think it might be Amy Schumer. Schumer has previously called Baldwin a sociopath. In her comedy Special Emergency Contact, Hilario writes about a famous person, someone I’ve never met, who’ said nasty and untrue things about me and my family and that she even tried to bait me and Alec via Instagram. We didn’t engage with her, and I guess I’m proud of that and made me mad at the system. But here in this book is where I can talk about it.
I don’t need to use her name, and I don’t want any problems with her, and I’d like to be left out of any articles that mention her because she has nothing to do with me, A total stranger. In Amy twenty twenty three Special Emergency Contact, Schumer said, I’m not trying to bullie a sociopath. I have a point. My point is that all evidence points to this woman since she met her husband, has straight up pretended to be from Spain. People tells us in December of twenty twenty, Schumer posted some of Hilario’s family photos on her own Instagram page, later deleting them and apologizing to Hilaria, who spoke out after receiving negative comments.
In twenty twenty one. Schumer told Entertainment Tonight she deleted the posts after Hilaria quote seemed a little bit upset. I was just like, I don’t want to be mean, and she seemed like maybe it hurt her feelings. I took it down. She’s amazing and I wish her and her family the best, and I hope she gets to visit Spain as much as she wants.
Look, she’s a mom. I don’t want them to be going through a bad time. But also, you can’t just pretend you’re from Spain. Now. If you google is Hilaria from Spain, things will come up.
I’ll source here from Vox. They seem pretty reputable. They write the idealized Hilaria was born in New YORKA speaks with an accent. Doesn’t know the English word for cucumbers, jocks are fun, does Flamenco love speedboats, drinks hamp milk, eats lentils in Paea, and does a plethora of workout classes. Then they had Hillary was born in Massachusetts, went to NYU and has a brother named Jeremy Fox.
Source is somebody named Tracy Egan Morrissey, who looked into all this back then in a series of Instagram stories. Morrissey explains that Hilaria’s Spanish origin story again from Hilario, stating in multiple features with Ola that she was born in Spain and Spanish was her native language. Baldwin’s bio on her CAAA speaking engagement site states that she was born in mayerca. Hilaria also had stated in a previous interview she moved to America at nineteen to attend to NYU. Morrissey debunks the claims, pointing out that Hilaria is actually Hillary Hayward Thomas, who graduated high school from the Cambridge School of Weston in Weston, mass And there’s also a video where the mother seems to stumble over her own daughter’s name.
Anyway, that’s a lot of fun. I hope Amy Schumer jumps back in and That’s why I’m gonna cover JFL tomorrow. Bert Krasier explained how he lost fifty pounds Men’s Fitness on the case they covered it. Graysier said he did it by just eating three things. Okay, what are the three things?
Steak, eggs, and spinach. Bert says, I went to carnivore all ever eight eggs, Rebbi saw Tate spinach. Dude, I lost like fifty five pounds. Inflammation went away. I felt so clean, No booze, no nothing.
Nate Bergatzy was on Fallon, I’m a little NATed out this week. Nate is playing Madison Square Garden in September. Nate told Fallon, as everybody who has followed my career knows that tonight show has meant a lot to me because I was just doing stand up to now doing it Madison Square Garden, So I thought it would be very nice would you come over and do the shows with me at MSG. The audience approved. Fallon appeared hesitant, arguing that he hasn’t done stand up regularly in a decade and doesn’t have an act.
Nate pointed out that Fallen opened for him before. That is true. Fallan opened for Nate and Albany and Syracuse last year. Nate said, you know it works in Syracuse and Albany, so now it’s time to take it to the big top. Fallon has accepted, but was curious, what do I do you want me to do?
Impressions. John Oliver wants the Iowa Cubs to change their name. For a little bit. He was making fun of some of the crazy minor league team names and then got into Iowa Cubs and said, they’re pretty disappointing because in not embracing the glorious eccentricity of the magnificent league they belong to, they’re kind of leaving money on the table. That’s where we come in.
We are willing to use all our resources and stupidity to give one minor league baseball team a total rebrand. We’ll give you a new name, a new mascot leaving through you with theme night. If the Iowa Cubs aren’t interested, other teams can reach out at John Oliver at buntstuff dot com. I wonder what happens if you go to bunt stuff dot com. Let’s find out.
Apparently the domain is parked, but they have the email account. I guess these Saint Paul Saints jumped in on social media and said they have already contacted John Oliver’s team and they are prepared to accept the offer. On Gossip Corner, Monique was on Shannon Sharp’s podcast and said, I’m grateful I’m not fifty six and trying. I’m looking right at you. I ain’t backing down.
You better take your old butt and get someone to love you. You don’t need no twenty six year old girl. You don’t need no thirty six year old girl. You’re trying to hang out with these young b words. You can’t do it, Shannon.
Remember HQ Trivia. Remember Scott the guy that used to host it. Remember that guy? Yeah, well he’s got a new gig with Trivia Works, a corporate entertainment and team building vendor specializing in customized trivia events. Scott will lead corporate and private event audiences and hilarious, high energy team trivia competition.
You can get customized questions and entertainment between trivia rounds, and of course Scott’s trademark sharp wit. That is your comedy news for today. Hey, if you’re into this whole Pope thing, I’m working. We got a podcast called White Smoke where we’re covering this. Today’s episode is about the whole Villanova Nix angle.
So Tracy Morgan will dig that and we find out if the Pope is a Cubs fan or a White Sox fan. I’m not gonna tell you, I did a lot of work. I want your download, So go download White Smoke wherever you get your shows, and I’ll meet you back here tomorrow