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The Shark Deck. Hello, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. I’m sure you heard that the FBI arrested a twenty one year old Massachusetts Air National guardsman in connection with leaking classified documents. Enough set up there, John, get to it, James Gordon said. The leaguer is described as a lonely young man who is part of a chat room group that shares a love of guns and military gear.
You know how sometimes you find yourself going it’s always who you least suspect. This isn’t one of those times, Colbert said. The suspect was taken into custody in Massachusetts, where just moments before, he was seen from a helicopter reading a book on his porch. That book Solitary Confinement for Dummies. Colbert again, Now, for those taking classified documents home, you could face chargers under the Espionage Act and get up to ten years in prison per document.
So he’s in trouble unless he declassified them with his mind. Gordon, as a twenty one year old, he’s devastated that this mistake may cost him his future, but he’s also a thrilled that he’s posted something online and it’s totally went viral. Cordon again crushing it as he wraps up is Late night show soon. Oh and we’re going to talk about that at the end of the podcast Stick Around Gordon. He posted some of the documents in a chat room for gamers.
Gordon said, I don’t know how this works. Did somebody write like, hey, guys, how do I went at fortnite? And you respond with I don’t know, but here’s some satellite ima juice of Yukrean. Pete Davidson is making the rounds. He was on with Charlotta Magne the God.
And I know you’ve had some big questions about Pete Davidson. He has answered your big question. Let’s listen. I don’t understand. It’s really not that special.
It’s a very normal size penis. It’s like, you know, not too big or too small. It’s just like you know now, I don’t understand that it’s just like big enough to enjoy and not big enough for it to hurt. So there you have it. I’m not gonna come it.
Horry Kunnabully, Who’s new specials out today? It is called Vacation Baby. It’s on YouTube. I have seen it. I had a screener a couple of weeks ago.
Thank you, Team Hurry. Really enjoyed this one, especially the first two thirds, and I never realized Harry’s really got I’m Mark Marin in him, which I think you’ll hear as you listen to that special. Would you like to hear a clip? Okay, I’m a Hindu or as it’s pronounced in America. Muslim people have called my child a COVID baby, which is inaccurate because he was not conceived during COVID.
If you must know, he’s a Honolulu Ritz Carlton vacation baby. There’s a big debate amongst parents how long is too long to breastfeed your child? Right? And I think that if your child is able to say, mother, can I have some of your sweet sweet breast milk in a text message, it’s probably too long. It’s probably too long.
Are Konnabulu Vacation Baby on YouTube? You should watch it?
Speaking of Mark Marin, I didn’t even do that on purpose.
That’s a nice accident. Mark spoke to a live audience at New York City’s Town Hall about his recent special from Bleak to Dark, and he said, it’s really tricky to make that stuff work. It’s the most full piece of work I’ve ever done, and the most grounded despite the topic matter. It’s the funniest I’ve ever been. I’m talking about losing someone.
It wasn’t funny. It became a sport group situation. I’d get choked up. How do you balance a joke about visiting her body the night she’d passed when working on some of the stuff was still very emotional. I had to find that balance, he added.
I’m not an arena act. There’s no way I’ll be that guy. I’m not even sure I got into it to be an entertainer. I use it to get to your own personal truth. It was about being seen and making people think about things even differently.
It’s a noble profession. I’m not sure I like this idea. They’re trying to remake Peep Show for the US again. The Peep Show is a wonderful brick com I thought it was still on Hulu. I want to watch it, and it’s not on there anymore.
So I don’t know if you could see it in the States right now. Any original David Mitchell and Robert Webb, you may know them as Mitchell and Webb you’ve probably seen the sketch where they’re dressed as Nazis and they ask, are we the Batties? Mitchell and Webb played Mark and Jazz, two dysfunctional friends and flatmates with opposing personalities. It ran nine seasons between two thousand and three and twenty fifteen. Well, in the American version it’s Mini Driver and a Mandela Jahava.
They are women, so one big difference there. For the new series. They’ve tried to remake this for the Americans a few times. There is an American pilot out there on YouTube, and I haven’t seen this thing nailed yet. Who knows.
Speaking of television, over the weekend, I watched the first three episodes of season three of FX’s Dave That’s the Little Dickie sitcom. Very very good. Enjoyed that a lot. You should watch that. Page six spoke to Kathy Griffin.
Kathy Griffin says she’s been diagnosed with quote complex PTSD. After getting an MRII Kathy posted a video saying, let’s talk about PTSD. Never talked about it publicly. You can laugh or whatever, but I’ve been diagnosed with complex PTSD and it’s called an extreme case. Kathy Griffin explained where the wink though her issues began about five and a half years ago.
She got held up a picture of a very famous person’s severed head, and I don’t want to go there. Artie Lange, he’s selling his longtime New Jersey home and his website has been shut down. What’s going on? Aready? The New York Post says Already, Lang, who’s fifty five now, had purchased his New Jersey Town home back in two thousand and three for four hundred and twenty nine thousand dollars.
It’s two bedrooms, three bats. In twenty twenty one, while he was completing a drug court program, he transferred the deed of the house to his mother, Judith and his sister Stacy. Sources tell the Post the home is no longer a suitable residence for his mom, who’s dealing with health issues. It’s currently less than at six hundred and seventy nine thousand dollars.
Meanwhile, it’s unclear why ardyqwitter dot com has shut down.
Right now, it’s parked free courtesy of GoDaddy dot com. You can get this domain. Let me click on it if you want to buy Artayqwitter dot com. They might be able to help you get it. You could, of course get already quitters dot com for five bucks.
One great way to sport the show is to buy me a coffee. See, I’ve got this ice coffee here. This one is it’s about four hours old. Now I been taking my time drinking and the ice is long gone. It is a large ice coffee with caramel and almond milk.
Dot Almond Milk’s an extra forty cents. I had accidentally switched back to milk, and I was like, hey, when did that happen. I don’t know, something happened on the app. So the almond milk, I put the almond milk back and the probably one up forty cents. Yikes.
So if you go to buy meacoffee dot com slash Daily Comedy News, you can do a couple of things. You could buy me one coffee, three coffees, a million coffees, or let’s get this going. You can become a member and just sign up and then every month it will ding your credit card for five bucks. And it’s a good way to support the show. And I’ll thank you on the show and you’ll be buying me a coffee.
If you’re like John five bucks, are you crazy? There’s the two dollar club, same idea, but two dollars, and I can’t believe nobody has taken me up on this. If you go to buy me a Coffee dot com slash Daily Comedy News and you look at the print there, it says if I ever make a hundred dollars and a month off coffee, I will do in its higher episode saying nice things about Adam Sandler. Nobody has done this yet. All right, that’s on you buy me a coffee dot com slash Daily Comedy News.
Congratulations to Henry Yen, the winner of twenty twenty three’s Raw Comedy Talent Hunt at the Milburn International Comedy Festival. Shortol writes them olver and local, seemed at ease in front of the fourteen hundred strong crowd, fully using the stage and exuding a genuine delight to be there, yet happy to muck around on his biggest gig yet giving a shout out to his parents. They write, he has a winningly odd energy, slightly awkward and nerdy, but owning it with confidence, while being apparently entertained by his own gags, chuckling infectiously along with the rest of us. He committed half a set to routine about towels and his ability to ring no pun intend at every angle. From the premise, it felt as if he could have easily done twice as a lot of time slot.
I tried to find a clip, but I could not. Sorry about that, I did. Look now, sadly, we’re into the final week of the Melbourne Comedy Festival. I’m going to miss this segment a lot. I’ve been enjoying it.
Let’s take a look at Wednesday shows. David Quirk’s show is called Cobra. The description do you remember back in the eighties when everyone called each other cobra? I don’t either, but I met a bloke once who swore that’s what we did. The age came in with yikes, listen to this doesn’t quite live up to the lofty expectations created by his previous work.
That’s what they’re putting on the website as the review. Wow, Melbourne. First of all, did anybody scrub the website? I’m not sure that you wanted that up there. Okay, I’m curious.
Now let’s listen to the work that doesn’t quite measure up. Thank you for that shit. Thank you. Wow. I am a very good comedian.
So I’m lucky to be standing here before you, folks, because I’ve spent most of my time a decade ten years working in retail is what I’ve done. I don’t know if anyone does someone openly laughing at that as you should really maybe he knows retail retail the art of standing uprights, not moving around enough, hardening the arteries, ensuring an early death. That’s retailed. But I was very good at it. I want you to know.
I was actually very because I’m very friendly to the customers. But I noticed, after about nine years of doing that job, every time I smiled at a customer, a little bit of the soul just flew away. Hey, how are you, folks? Hire folks have and that’s not healthy, is it? That’s bad?
Something bad? He’s happening in Slide of You. That was good. I like David Quirk. I also like his look.
He could play KNICKI in Grease. He’s wearing a white T shirt with a denim jacket that’s a little shorter than the T shirt, and he’s got like knicky hair. It’s better than that Rise of the pink ladies thing on Paramount Plus. I’ll tell you that all right. One more.
Fanny Kasab’s show is called Fireworks. He was a child in war torn Lebanon, but he found a very unlikely source to make his own fireworks. The near death experience made him tough, resilient, adaptable. Now he’s a single dad raising two children in safe, optimistic Australia. He had a late advertiser said, hilarious leaves the audience in stitches.
Okay, let’s listen, and I hate Itani meant, so many Italians here to them? Are you cowards? I know you’re always the same, always walk up the girls and say stuff like hey, his time, did you have a good day? And the Ausie girl is looking at him. Swanny goes, women aren’t truman to get literacy.
He’s fun. I mean maybe if you’re Italian you don’t find that funny. But I thought he was fun. Oh, we’ve got more festivals, don’t worry. Let’s see who’s at Moontower tonight.
Busy weed for the festivals. Huh Tuesday night at moon Tower, Matt Rife. I’m seeing a lot of buzz on him. He’s at the Stateside Theater at seven o’clock. I saw he’s got a special up on YouTube.
I need to check out Leslie Jones at seven and Matt Rife again at nine thirty. All right, if we were at Moontower, I guess we’ll see Leslie at seven, Matt Rife at nine thirty. And let’s see who’s at Nashville tonight, Kid Rock at the Rheman, William Montgomery at Zenies, and that’s it. I guess we’ll check out Kid Rock. Lindsay Glazer has a new album out on Comedy Dynamics.
All their releases are good. This one is called Thanks Dad. The press release says powerhouse attorney and comedian Lindsay Glazer is ready to make her mark. In hilarious stand up comedy album Thanks Dad, recorded downtown Las Vegas in December of twenty two, Lindsay shares stories about her neurotic condition, the joys of one a home, and being sued by an NBA player. It says she is the second most famous comedian out of Peoria, Illinois.
Who’s number one? Do you know? I think I know, but I’m googling the answer. Richard Pryor more famous than Lindsay Glazer. At this point, let’s not sell her short.
You never know, all right, John, You said you had a James Cordon story. Yeah, This one from movie Web director Craig Duncan says he won’t be wanting to work with James Cordon. He worked with Cordon as a director on a League of their Own, and he says, the most difficult and obnoxious presenter I’ve ever worked with is James Cordon. That’s interesting because some people would say Joey Diaz is the most obnoxious presenter they’ve ever worked with, But that’s not what Duncan said. He said, James Cordon is right.
So if you asked Duncan, hey, who’s the worst human being you’ve ever met, he would not say Joey Diaz. That’s not what he would say. He would say the most difficult, obnoxious presenter I’ve ever worked with James Cordon. He says even before meeting Cordon, he was warned about the TV stars but behavior with producers. Asking Duncan how well he did working with difficult presenters, he said Cordon was braiding him, saying, what the f is going on here?
It’s obvious what you do? You put a camera there, you put a camera there. You put a camera there so obvious, You’re stupid, Duncan said. He tried to satisfy Cordon by saying the TV host was absolutely right about a change they wanted that they had already done anyway. Duncan recalls another experience of waiting for James.
Cordon arrived, only for him to show up forty five minutes late to film a brief segment. Holding everybody else up, Duncan said, cheers, James, you got your way. Well done for treading all over my toes. I don’t care. I’ll get paid at the end of the day, and I hope I never ever work with you again.
That you’re comining news for today. Wow. Follow the show for free on Apple podcast, Spotify, YouTube, wherever you get your shows. See tomorrow. Can I interest you in some meatballs made out of mammoth meat?
No? All right? Hi, I’m Johnny Mack, host of five Good News Stories. It’s a twice a week podcast where I share some upbeat stories like the dog who only will respond to commands if you use an Irish brogue, or what about the guy who’s filling potholes with noodles? Or the woman who congratulations she passed her driver’s license.
Oh by the way, it was her nine hundred and sixtieth. Try you heard me correctly. It’s five good news stories. Nice easy way to start your morning. Five good news stories the number.
Five good news stories wherever you get your podcasts.