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Caloroga Shock Media. Hey there, I’m Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News, a daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. Rob Schneider has jumped on social media to clarify his comments about the mandatory draft. He posted, you are missing the point. Missing the point in all caps Schneider’s theory if nobody is exempt from military service, then poor and wealthy families alike would have a shared military connection.
Don’t worry, Rob, someone will be exempt, and it won’t be the poor. Schneider said Congress would think long and hard before sending American troops into another far away war that isn’t vital to our national survival. Rob Rob, Robert, Rob, Rob, Rob. Are you paying attention to the news. Do you think Congress does anything about anything?
Do you think Congress isn’t going to have figured out a way so their kids don’t have to go? Come on, man, Rob said, no more cavalier decisions, No more other people’s kids dying while their own kids stay safe at Ivy League schools or in Beverly Hills. Schneider said, then the nation might stop treating itinst the military like disposable chess pieces. I’m with you there, Rob, but uh yeah, let me know when Congress does anything. John Stewart ripped into the President of the United States.
Not over the war, No, John Stuart was more interested in the White House ballroom project, which it seems increasingly clear is just a cover story for a new bunker being built. The New York Times had reported over the weekend that designs for the ballroom show fake windows on the north side and columns that would block the interior ballroom view. There’s also a grand staircase that does not lead to an entrance. John Stewart on The Daily Show said, okay, woke New York Times. When mc escher does that, it’s art.
Well, but you put it on an actual building and suddenly it’s this doesn’t make any sense, and I appear to be trapped if you ours. After the Times report, President Trump spoke to the press. He was on Air Force One reporters, I’m fighting wars and other things, but this is very important because this is going to be with us for a long time, and I think it’ll be the greatest ballroom anywhere in the world. John Stewart responded to that and said for the ballroom, Trump will put in an all nighter for a point by point rebuttal, but for the war, he literally doesn’t have the focused answer one question. White House Press Secretary Carolyn Livett said, President Trump and his lead architect have built world class buildings around the world, and they’re ensuring the People’s House finally as a beautiful ballroom that’s been needed for decades at no expense to the tax payer.
Remember that last part there, Whitney Cummings, she’s getting political. She was guest hosting the view. She was discussing how FBI Director Cash Bettel’s emails had been leaked. She said, I mean, if Cash wanted his emails not to get released, he should have just c sed Jeffrey Epstein on them. That is a great line and a great point.
Moving away from politics. Finally, John Billboard has published the February box Score Report to see who the top touring comedians were for February twenty twenty six. Do you want to guess? Yes, you were correct? Number one again Naprighatzy.
He has led for six of the last seven months. The only month he wasn’t number one was in December when John Mulaney took the crown number two, Joe Coy three, Cant Williams four, Bert Kreischer five, Jim Gaffigan. Andrew Schultz, who once appeared in the headline in the New York Times June twenty third, twenty twenty five, Andrew Schultz might be America’s foremost political journalist. That’s right, The New York Times said, Andrew Schultz might be America’s foremost political journalist. This is a real thing that happened in the New York Times.
It’s I know you’re like John, It’s April Fool’s Day. No one is gonna believe that’s the story that appeared in the New York Times. They’re not crazy. No, I’m telling you this is not an April Fools joke. On June twenty third, twenty twenty five, they wrote the headline, Andrew Schultz might be America’s foremost political journalist.
He also, I’ll add, might be America’s foremost actor. That’s right. He’s going to appear in a new film. It’s called Clashing through the Snow. It’s described as planes, trains, and automobiles for the gen Z generation.
It centers on two rival coworkers at a book publisher who are forced to travel cross country when bad weather grounds all available flights. They should just rewrite this and say the TSA lines are fourteen hours long, and they decide to drive now. Yes. Andrew Schultz, possibly America’s greatest political journalist, will play Walder, a janitor with a close personal connection to the character played by Christopher Briney, who is a type A commerce focused editor. Zarni Guard plays Gail, whose unexpected god in steers a character played by Michelle Randolph, a creative, freethinking editor in a pivotal direction during the trip sounds very complicated.
Can’t wait for it? Mack Packer Andy Samberg. He will start in forty two point six Years, a romantic comedy. Samberg was originally going to star opposite Gene Smart. Gene has now pulled out of it and has been replaced by five time Oscar nominee Annette Benning.
In forty two point six Years, we follow ben played by Mack Packer Andy Samberg, who, after an experimental procedure leaves him cryogenically frozen for forty two point six years, sets out to reconnect with his ex girlfriend played by Anette Benning. He has an age today. She’s lived an entire lifetime without him. John Mulaney was a guest on The Late Show with star Trek Ruin or Stephen Colbert. Laney told a story about visiting Graceland.
As the story goes, John Mulaney says, his son, Malcolm, who’s four, is a huge fan of Elvis Presley, because of course he is. John said, and I said to him, do you want to get a tour of Elvis’s house? And he was like, elvis House awesome. Laney says, we’re walking through, and the guy goes, we’re gonna show you some special spots because you’re performing here at Graceland. My son goes, I want to go on the roof.
They weren’t able to visit the roof. However, they were able to visit Elvis’s jungle room. Malaney said, we’re looking around and Malcolm goes, Dad, can I meet Elvis now? And it never come up. While listening to hound Dog, you don’t go, son, you know this guy’s dead.
Right then I realized all his grandparents aren’t alive, and he’s never had a goldfish, and he doesn’t know he’s about to find out in the jungle room at Graceland that everybody dies. Laney explained to his son, Elvis is in heaven now. His son said, why. John Mulaney, as he tells the story, said, sometimes when people are in their early forties and they have a job at a schedule a lot like daddy, and some of the same issues as Daddy, they go to the bathroom and they go to heaven. Wow, that’s pretty good.
Eddie Murphy winner of the fifty first AFI Life Achievement Award. Well Netflix will televise the fifty first AFI Life Achievement Award, a Tribute to Eddie Murphy on Netflix May thirty first. The award will be presented to Eddie Murphy in LA on April eighteenth. According to the AFI, Eddie Murphy is the most commercially successful African American actor in the history of the motion picture business and as one of the industry’s top five box office performers overall. W Camal Bell, Melissa Via Signor, and Joel Kim Booster are going to perform in San Francisco.
They’ll be at the Immigration Institute of the Bay Area hosting the tenth annual Comedy Night for immigrant rights. April thirtieth is that event Want of Pikes was on Charlemagne, the God. Charlemagne said, the thing I used to love about the Chris Rock Show, it was just full of uncomfortable truths. Even that whole era was full of uncomfortable truths. Right, do you think comedy’s still a ought to be that honest?
Are we in an era now where everybody wants jokes but they don’t want the truth that comes with it. Wanta said, no, you know what, I think You’re allowed to do it, but it’s just who wants to do it. You know what I’m saying. If I’m trying to fill an arena, you know what I’m saying, you can’t be that common. You gotta appeal to the masses.
And sometimes right now with the masses want to hear it’s ugly, you know, want to continue it to a lot of people like to be the critic. They want to be the police. It’s like, if you say something it might offend you, but you got to look at where that person’s coming from. You know, maybe their life, their perspective is different from what you know. Yeah, you’re offended, You’re not standing in my shoes you don’t see it from my perspective, so I think that’s what we’ve gotten away from.
I always try to punch up, but that’s me. However, she said, if you punch down and it’s funny, I’m gonna laugh. Apparently, the Shepherd Express is your home for comedy news. We’ve got back to back stories from The Shepherd Express. In story number one, they caught up with Maria Bamford.
She said, I think I have a trimmer and it makes everything seem like I’m nervous. But I don’t feel nervous. I just look like I’m afraid. Bamford said, I need to entertain myself, so that’s a shell just keep myself from being bored. She also added, my friendship with my sister.
I stopped doing jokes about her and now we’re best friends. Next thing, Maria Bamford would love to accomplish. I’d love to be on a TV show for five lines a week in a wig.
Meanwhile, Jackie Kashin also caught up with these Shepherd Express.
Jackie said growing up she wasn’t thinking of being a comedian. She said, I wanted to act. I think I certainly played a lot of what a FUNSI was on the Starship Enterprise and acted out of all the parts I’d watch that, I vaguely remember answering that I wanted to be a lawyer or a teacher of Forrest Ranger. When asked, I went to UW. Madison.
There was a comedy club. We went to it. I went to open Mic three weeks after seeing the show, and I was hooked. I don’t know how to explain it, but it felt like I was looking for stand up forever. She recalls a night in nineteen eighty four she went to a Madison comedy club, got drunk, heckled the comedian on stage, and he couldn’t shut me up, and sally for the rest of the audience.
I wasn’t kicked out. The club manager came over and said, open Mic is on Sundays now, will you shut up? And I did. The comic guy heckled Sam Kennison. How could Sam Kinnison not shut you down?
That seems hard to believe. I’m not gonna pull up. That seems hard to believe that Sam Kinnison couldn’t slam a heckler. Jackie said, comedy right now, it’s crazy out in the world and there are two kinds of comedy. I like seeing now very open about the things we’re all living through, mostly to relieve the pressure and to make people know they aren’t alone a crazy.
The other kind of comedy is just normal, driving, family, food and relationship material, which is the kind of fun comedy you just keep writing to matter what the situation. TJ. Miller keeps talking about the next Deadpool film. I think he wants to get back into that franchise. Supposedly, Ryan Reynolds told TJ Miller about it.
TJ said, I’ll say his idea for the next Deadpool film is like really good. You know, it’s really smart. He told me the idea. I kind of got hair on the back of my neck standing up because I was just like, I didn’t think you could do something that’s even more different than Deadpool and Wolverine. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, because he’s got a couple other projects going.
I mean, I always liked him and I always thought he’s the funniest. I mean, what are you gonna say, hey, Ryan, that’s a terrible idea. I hate your idea for the Deadpool movie. I don’t want to be at it, DJ said, Ryan is really a powerhouse in terms of the comedy and specifically Deadpool. He’s coming to be a real friend and he’s at our back and I’ve tried to have his because I mean, the Internet is just such an evil, cruel place, so despicable.
And let’s see what’s happening in Melbourne. So I have to work a day ahead for you Americans because the listener’s down Under by the time they get the show. If I’m not wearing a day ahead, they’re gonna be like, yeah, thanks John. That show started at thirty minutes ago. So Thursday at eleven thirty in the morning, it’s the Class Clowns National Grand Final.
Who will be crowned Australia’s funniest high school I like this a month long search for the country’s brightest young comedy talent. Class Clowns is a national secondary school comedy competition inviting young people to unleash their creative talents through stand up, sketch, musical comedy or physical performance.
And then if you’ll need something at night, how about six pm good time for sh…
We can see a show and go home and go to bed. That’s great. It’s Australia’s Funniest Lawyers, featuring a lineup of criminal prosecutors, barristers, government regulators and corporate solicitors who, as you could tell, are the funniest people of the world. With those jobs, we are teld the lawyers turn comedians in this lineup of one and been nominated for numerous prestigious festival awards, appeared on TV, and have sold out festival shows nationally and internationally. That’s right, it’s America’s Funniest Lawyers.
Oh wait, Comedy Survivor forgot to tell you. It looks like Sebastian Maniscalco is in massive, massive trouble. As I’ve been skiving the Facebook group, looks like he’s going to go. So if you’re like, well, I want to save a Sebastian Maniscalco, I would get about twelve of your friends to vote for somebody else. But whoever you guys want to vote it off is fine with me.
What you do is you go to the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast group and you’ll find the little drawing there and you’ll see a bunch of people have written the words Sebastian and Maniscalco.
And then you and your twelve friends are going to want to jump in there and w…
And that is your comedy news for today, See tomorrow.