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The Shark Deck. Thank you one to five. I am Johnny Mack with your Daily Comedy News. Tom Papa wrote a guest piece in Men’s Health that really is speaking to me. I have shared this indie Facebook group Daily Comedy News podcast group, but I have college aged children and Tom Papa is more or less my age, and Tom wrote, when you have children, the first thing more Seasons parents tell you is that it all goes by really fast.
The amount of times that somebody told me that, yeah, absolutely, and I now pass that along when I do the same thing. I don’t know what it is, but you see somebody else with a four year old and you’re like, it goes quick. Pop writes. They tell you to cherish every moment because it’ll be over way before you know it. What they don’t tell you is that this incredibly fast bead is caused by your family dragging you into a black hole by your nick Time before kids is leisurely.
After dating, falling in love, and seeing a bunch of movies together, you and your partner come up with the idea of making some new people reproduction and is not all that complicated, So before you know it, a kid enters into your world, and for a brief moment, all time stops. However, as soon as that millisecond is over, this person you made pulls you into a void where space and time are twisted and mangled. You experience the entirety of life. You’re ripped out and disassembled. You were then put back together and spit out on the other end as an older, worn out simulation of yourself.
High from the basement, you are still you, but for some reason, your pants don’t quite fit. Tom nail This, he writes, My iPhone tells a detailed story of a life I’ve supposedly lived. There are pictures of visits to petting zoos, farmers’ markets and museums. We ate cotton candy, ice cream, cones, and bags of kettle corn. I recently saw a picture of us from a trip to Disney.
There I was standing next to Goofy MoU’s ears on my head and a smile on my face. I have one hand on a stroller and another holding a churo. I don’t remember any of it. There were dance recitals, choir concerts, birthday parties, and pets. My family says we owned.
We hiked up mountains eight and diners, played in ball pits. We decorated for the holidays, and an endless loop Halloween skeletons before sant up, before Easter eggs rolled out of the way to make room for the Fourth of July, and all the while these beautiful miracle peace board growing up. He’s got a few more paragraphs there, Like I said, I shared it in the Facebook group, and he ends with, so, yes, enjoy every minute and take a lot of pictures. Are we all teared up? Now?
Yes we are. It’s okay, you could admit it. Rolling Stone talked to Roywood Junior the topic Hasan Minhaj, possible next host of The Daily Show. Rolling Stone said, the thing with Hassan that struck me as different is that the jokes that stretch the truth or were outright lies were the ones that painted him as the victim or the hero because he was being targeted for his race. Roywood Junior just said, correct.
There was a follow up question and then Roy said a lot of what Hassan did put him at the center of things, which gave the appearance that he’s self centered. And so when you take a brand like The Daily Show, the question becomes with someone who views himself as that within their personal stand up, can you trust them to not do that as the host of a news program. My thing is that during the time Hassan was telling all these lies, he was hosting Patriot Act, and there was nothing in Patriot Act that pointed to that. The question of whether or not Hassan can concurrently do whatever the hell it is that he’s doing on stage and host an honest and true news program has already been answered. Wow, not pulling punches there, Roywood Junior Rolling Stone.
The New Yorker story had Hassan airing doctored hate sweets aimed at him in Patriot Act. Roywood said, oh geez, back to the self centered stuff. It’s about him, then we can question it. But if it’s about the world, I think there’s a way through that. I don’t agree with the comparisons to Jesse Smollead or Steve ran as easy and Bill Mark comparing him to Trump in the sense that it’s a lie to manipulate the opinions of others.
Here’s a bigger question. As it was originally told to me, the host of the Daily Show was supposed to be announced in June. The strike hit they can’t announce it. If the strike never happened and they named Hassan, would this be enough for Comedy Central to take the job away from him. I personally don’t think they would have.
I had missed this, Rolling Stone said.
Also buried in the New Yorker story was that Hassan had reached a workplace m…
I had missed that, Roywood Junior said. But the workplace harassment stuff with Hassan was already documented in public knowledge, and Comedy Central was still considering him for the job. So that tells you how much they thought about that part of his backstory. I don’t think they would have taken the job. But is it enough to keep them from giving him the job?
It looks like it a little lighter. They asked him about the way Trevor Noah left the Daily Show. He basically announced he was quitting and then stepped out with dua Lipa, an incredible flex, says Rolling Stone. Roy Wood Junior laughed and said, I’m gonna quit, and then I’m gonna go host the Grammys, and then I’m going to date pop stars. God bless him.
The man got to quit, his employer sent him home sooner than he planned, and he walked right into a jet to a global comedy tour. He and I talk every now and then, and he’s definitely happy. So in that regard, I’m happy for him. I think he left at the right time in hindsight. So that’s interesting too.
Right, let’s back up there. The man got to quit and his employer sent him home sooner than he had planned. Was that a situation where Trevor was like, Hey, I’m gonna leave in six months and they’re like, why don’t you leave now? Interesting? Right, there’s still a lot from this article.
I’ll do more of it tomorrow. The eight hundred pound Gerrilla was talking about Sean Patton, a fantastic comedian who should be on your radar, and they wrote for a long time, Sean Patton found himself in this exact space, emerging in the twenty tens as a thoughtful and wild comic who bridged the gap between Ian Carmel and Sam Morrell. Patton was viewed as ex between traditional and alternative comedy spheres and release three albums before landing a special number one. It might not be a perfect model, but a success is a promising blueprint of hope for every middle class comic putting money together to self tape their own hour in between sets at Little Field or Dynasty Typewriter. One of the first things viewer might take notice of is the runtime.
Matten tends to go long in his work, but it’s not due to a bulk of excess. Rather, he situates himself in context of the stories he tells and draws focus, pulling the crowd in while standing still. We’re prowling it wildly to accentuate the point of his wit. The folks at Camp Times were enjoying the Judge John Hodgman tour. Hodgman says, we have three segments in the show.
There’s the Court of Judge John Hodgman. Then we have swift Justice, where we hear three cases in quick succession with a buzzer or timer. Now we have a segment which we call mob justice, where we turn up the house lights and people in the audience can raise their hands and shout out their arguments, whether the people who brought them, where the people that they brought, or even people aren’t even there that they don’t know and they’re being accused arguments and disputes of the sort we really like. What’s the best way to rid your house of I’m curious about that. Let’s google that.
I love Google autocomplete. So far I’ve typed in best way too our I and the autocomplete is best way to ripen peaches, avocanos, tomatoes.
All right, let’s see best way to get rid of roaches, belly fat, house of flea…
But now I’m gonna type in bats. Today’s homeowner has how to get rid of bats in your home. Five tips. Don’t act like you you don’t caring, don’t act like you’re like good back to the comedy you’re interested. Number one close entry points that won’t get rid of the bats, that will trap the bats inside.
That’s terrible advice. Install a bat cone. Now you’re wondering what a bat cone is. Perhaps it’s what your favorite superhero gets from Carvel. No, come on, that was pretty good.
A bat cone allows bats to squeeze out of your attic, but not into the space. Essentially, it’s a one way door for bats to exit. See that’s good advice. Bat Cones are relatively affordable. I’m told typically between twenty and forty bucks.
Install bright outdoor lights. Not only will that add curb appeal to your home, it also acts as a natural bat repellent. But that’s not getting the bats out. They’re already in. This article’s terrible.
I want to get rid of the bats. Don’t tell me how to keep bats away. They’re already in the house. I want to get rid of them. Use a sound machine.
Now we’re talking. Bats prefer to be at peace when resting. That’s why using a sound machine that gives off an ultrasonic sound will disrupt their piece. How to identify bats, Okay, identifying a bat, especially in the dark at night, could be challenging. Here’s how you can help identify a bat.
Number one, webbed wings, yes, Number two often black or brown in color. Often what other colors do bats come in? Three? Face looks small, similar to a small dog. So in case you’re like, I think it’s a bird, No, it seems to have web wings at a face like a chihuahua.
It is a bat. For wings band can be anywhere between six inches to five feet long and five sporadic flying compared to birds. Where were we you’re talking about? To Judge John Hodgman tour. His co host Jesse Thorn said, I built the format of the show, and in my mind, the most important element of the comedy was the conflict.
The higher of the stakes of the conflict were, even if it was a low stakes conflict to begin with, the funnier the show would be. The more belligerent John and I were, the funnier the show would be. And I was wrong about that. In fact, what the show is about is people who care about each other finding resolution in their conflict, and that resolution isn’t about who’s right and who’s wrong. I could imagine a situation where you’ve been friends with your roommate for a couple of years and you move out and you want to leave your bed behind full day, and then your roommate’s like a jerk and says, the bed pays rent.
This is a thing that happened to some friends of mine. I’m agnostic. You guys work it out, but that would have been a good one for Judge John Hodgman. Judge does the bed pay rent? I’d be curious what you guys think.
Go on the Facebook group and just answer that question. Does the bed pay rent? So Here’s a scenario. You’ve moved out, but your bed’s still there. You’re going to get the bed in the day or two, but it’s still there.
Does the bed pay rent for the two days? Where’s your friend being annoying? Facebook group? Daily Company News podcast grew one listener right now has a big smile on his face. Co host Jesse Thorn said, people are essentially there to talk about why they care about each other.
This is all over the place today, Johnny Mack. Joan Rivers apparently secretly battled believe me for much of her adult life, according to a new biography. According to her biographer Leslie Bennett’s, who published The Life, Loves, Losses and Liberation of Joan Rivers, Leslie claimed that Joan Rivers was constantly grappling with her figure. While other famous faces said her low self esteem contributed to her becoming a characterture of herself. Leslie said Joan was always incredibly paranoid about her weight, and she was bolimic for a lot of her adult life.
Jerry Shippard said, back when Joan started stand up, you started looking your age. You didn’t get booked. Really made Joan Rivers obsessed with the way she looked, because Joan had to deal with fear, and she dealt with insecurities. When you go in and start thinking, oh my gosh, there’s something wrong with me. I’ve got too many chins, my nose is too wide, you can get addicted.
Nicky Glazer chimed in and said, that’s the dark side of comedy. There’s a chronical life self esteem in every good comedian, and it doesn’t go away no matter how successful you are. Joan Rivers had said, my motto is better a new face coming out of an old car than an old face coming out of a new car. Spend your money on you. The Improv will have a new special on Netflix in November.
It’s called Improv sixty and Still Standing. The new special will feature short sets from ten globally acclaimed comedians. They are Angela Johnson, reyis, Bert Kreischer, Craig Robinson, Deon Cole, Fortune Fimester, Jeff Dunham, Kevin Neelan, Mark Normand, Joe Coy and Whitney Cummings.
Also featured in archival footage are Adam Sandler, Jerry Seinfeld, Sarah Sil…
There are sixty and still standing on Netflix. In November the Please Don’t Destroy Guys of a movie, Please Don’t Destroy the Treasure of Foggy Mountain. In the Treasure of Foggy Mountain, we see Ben Marshall, John Higgins, and Martin Hurley making their way through a tense conversation with Conan O’Brien, fighting ex Mayo, running away from a hawk that doesn’t fly, falling and flying suits, and possibly encountering a cult leader played by Bowen Yang. Please Don’t Destroy the Treasure of Foggy Mountain. Peacock.
November seventeenth, Chelsea grow tape her new special Unmuted Tonight Skiptown Playhouse in La Chelsea’s high energy, witty rapperts hey and no nonsense attitude will captivate your attention and leave you laughing for more. And that is your comedy news for today. You learned so much. Tom Papa made you cry. You learned how to get bats out of your house, and you decided whether or not the bed paid rent.
Not why you came today, but I thought it was fun. See tomorrow